Latest / AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation / [EP34] Success and Fulfillment: How to have both

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[EP34] Success and Fulfillment: How to have both · AWAKEN with Dylan Ayaloo: Inner Work, Healing, Yoga & Meditation

• 0:00
  I want to talk about today was around success and fulfillment and the difference between them and how to have both.
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  Because sometimes we have, we gain success in a certain area, maybe in job or career, and still don't feel fulfilled.
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  What happens?
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  What's actually going on there?
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  And I would say that a couple of ways to define success and fulfillment.
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  success perhaps is more external, right? So it could be things, it could be the job,
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  it could be financial, right? Like it's more external and perhaps more measurable.
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  And I would say that fulfillment is more internal, a certain level of satisfaction,
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  contentment within ourselves and feeling, the feeling of fulfillment, right? Like feeling
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  So perhaps these are reasons where we get confused with the external and we chase the external.
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  And a lot of time, the process of chasing the external success, when it's not aligned to certain things like values, which I'll come to in a minute, can cause us to have the success, perhaps at some point, and then lacking in a sense of fulfillment.
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  So let's look at it.
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  Success, you could say, is achievement, recognition, financial, promotions, status, and things like that.
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  Maybe society can see it.
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  People can measure it.
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  You can measure it.
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  Maybe it's a bit more tangible.
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  And fulfillment, you could say, is a deep sense of purpose, joy, alignment, which actually I've been talking a lot about recently around alignment and values.
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  And a sense of peace within yourself, right?
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  Like just a contentment within yourself.
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  and sometimes we make this mistake of chasing success and then we have the success and not
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  feeling fulfilled. Three things because we love three and five and seven and ten. So three things.
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  The first one, a trap that we can fall into which can lead to feeling unhappy or unfulfilled
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  is this chasing of, it's like the moving goalposts. It's always chasing the next thing
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  and on one level
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  obviously it's good to be
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  growing, expanding
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  learning and reaching
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  for different and more things
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  and on another level
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  this constant moving of the goalposts
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  just keeps it
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  yeah okay I've hit that
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  but then I still feel empty inside
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  now I've hit this next level of goals and outcomes
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  and I still feel unfulfilled
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  unsatisfied within
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  awareness of that
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  and I think this filter of
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  external, internal to success fulfillment and the definitions of those can help.
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  Second one I would say is success without purpose or an alignment to our higher values and purpose.
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  And recently in the Align event, I talked about this and we did some exercises around it.
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  And the short version of it is if you're not clear on what your higher values in this lifetime
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  and your higher purpose in this lifetime is,
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  then it's an opportunity to connect with that.
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  And actually, I'm going to teach a shorter version of that workshop
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  on Wednesday next week around purpose
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  and going deeper into the area of purpose.
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  So it's going to be the third of our Awaken Masterclass series.
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  Come and join me on that.
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  So working out what matters to you in your life
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  so that the action is not just busyness, right?
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  Like filling up time and space and taking your energy, which a lot of time can lead to things like burnout.
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  But rather, there is a sense of why and what matters and having the actions aligned.
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  So the more on a micro level, day to day, week to week, to year to years and decades, right?
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  Like our longer plans, our bigger plans in our life and the actions aligned with our values and our purpose.
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  So not just on a micro, but a macro level.
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  And then the third thing that is a trap that causes us to feel unfulfilled or unhappy is seeking external validation.
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  So whatever, whether it's like they're saying it to you or you're doing it to yourself because it needs to look a certain way.
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  It needs to come across a certain way so that you get the stamp of approval, the validation, which underneath it, from an inner work perspective, is what we're seeking love, right?
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  Or like that part of us that doesn't feel enough or worthy is always going to try and prove itself enough and worthy.
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  And we know that it was never in question.
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  You've dabbled with this work at all.
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  it's never in question and it never was and it never will be in question whether you're good
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  enough whether you're worthy whether you're loved or lovable because we are whole we are already
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  complete just as we are we are perfect in our imperfections right as human being just the way
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  we've been built so this like setting is like slight variation to the first one i mentioned
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  it's like we set certain kind of markers and our worth is based on that success so therefore
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  lack of fulfillment that we would feel because whether you hit it or not if you don't hit it
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  you don't feel good enough if you hit it you still don't feel good enough because you need more
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  what do we do about it so again another three-step part on how to deal with it and how to have both
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  success and fulfillment the first part will be actually looking at what does success mean to you
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  right and i'll add to that why is it important to you so what does it mean to you and why
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  Is it important to you?
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  And then working out what are your higher values?
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  And we did this exercise in Align, but I'll give you the brief version here.
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  What's important to you?
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  What values are important to you?
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  And why are they important to you?
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  And then aligning the actions.
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  I say actions, but also the bigger things, the bigger projects in our life,
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  the bigger things that we get involved in to our values.
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  and shifting from like this doer, achiever mode
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  and balancing it with fulfillment mode as well
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  so that you're getting stuff done.
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  And most of us are very good at getting stuff done,
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  but we may or may not feel that level of contentment,
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  that satisfaction, that joyfulness within us,
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  right, the fulfillment.
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  And having a balance between the achieving and achiever
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  the doer and also letting yourself take in the joys or who you've become along the journey
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  of achieving that thing and and the fact that you have achieved it right if in fact you have
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  and if you haven't then so often i talked about this the other day in the community
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  we have certain markers like oh i've got like in the age of social media i've just got a thousand
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  likes or whatever it is, and actually it doesn't mean anything.
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  And perhaps a different, more useful measure might be something that you have
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  control of, which I talked about in the Bhagavad Gita.
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  Measure it on your actions because we don't have control of our results, but
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  we have authority over our actions.
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  But, you know, one of our members the other day talked about, she did a thousand
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  posts and I said, yeah, that's, that's a measure of success that you've actually
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  taken that level of action.
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  And sometimes we measure it by the likes and all of that, by the views of the video or the thing that you put out.
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  But actually, you just, you cannot control that.
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  But what you can control is the steps that you take.
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  So aligning the external to the internal.
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  Sometimes we tie our happiness, our fulfillment to this non-existent, made-up markers.
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  that we cannot ever reach, or even if we did reach it,
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  it just doesn't mean anything anyway
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  because it never meant anything.
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  Therefore, we can never reach any level of fulfillment.
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  So when you balance your actions to values and purpose,
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  which I'm going to go deeper in purpose on Wednesday,
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  there's one more Awaken Masterclass workshop.
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  So come and join me on that.
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  I'll put the link out soon.
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  your actions, what is success to you? Why is it important to you? And then what are your values?
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  What's important to you? What is your higher purpose? And then aligning your actions to your
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  values and your purpose. And then having measures that actually for success, right? And for
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  fulfillment, not just for success, that they're both actually being measured. And so often
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  fulfillment, right, is something that is internal.
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  So how do you actually measure that?
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  Is it based on something that you have no control of?
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  Or are you placing your markers, your measures for happiness, for fulfillment on things that
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  you have control of, like actions that you could take rather than results after the actions,
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  which is outside of our control?
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  So that's my message for today.
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  If you want to learn more about purpose, come join me Wednesday evening 6.30, same time.
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  We are third of the Awaken Masterclass series.
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  And of course, on the 28th of Feb to the 2nd of March, I'm going to be doing our next Awaken program, virtual.
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  And you're invited to join.
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  We're doing the ultra early bird right now.
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  So if you're on the mailing list, you would have got that.
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  If you didn't, then just message me in one of the many.