Latest / I Do, Part 2 / Making Sense of The Ashley Tisdale "Toxic Mom Group" Headlines

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Making Sense of The Ashley Tisdale "Toxic Mom Group" Headlines · I Do, Part 2

0:10
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Saturday, January tenth, and we
0:14
Speaker 1: too are trying to make sense of all of these
0:18
Speaker 1: headlines we've been seeing this week about a toxic mom group,
0:22
Speaker 1: and Robes just informed me I might have fallen for
0:27
Speaker 1: a big old PR stunt, And with that, welcome to
0:30
Speaker 1: this episode of Amy and tj Okay Robes. First of all,
0:35
Speaker 1: Ashley Tisdale, toxic mom group, everybody's been seeing the headlines
0:39
Speaker 1: all week. You tell me, am I wrong for dismissing
0:43
Speaker 1: this as nothing more than just some clickbait and has
0:47
Speaker 1: some celebrity names, And this has been blown out of proportion?
0:50
Speaker 1: Am I wrong to dismiss it as just that?
0:52
Speaker 2: I don't think it's been blown out of proportion in
0:55
Speaker 2: that it resonated. So this is something that uss deal
1:01
Speaker 2: with our entire lives, and us moms actually teach our daughters.
1:05
Speaker 2: At least I know something that my mom told me,
1:08
Speaker 2: and I told my girls, you never leave high school.
1:12
Speaker 3: Yes, women support women.
1:14
Speaker 2: And yes that's beautiful, and yes that happens.
1:16
Speaker 3: Every day and we need more of it.
1:18
Speaker 2: But truth be told, women cut each other down to
1:22
Speaker 2: a lot of times, and sometimes friendships do turn toxic.
1:25
Speaker 2: And when you get a gaggle of girls together, hierarchies form,
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Speaker 2: clicks form, It's just what happens. Unfortunately, even with good
1:36
Speaker 2: people with good intentions, it just seems to socially happen.
1:41
Speaker 1: Okay, if it socially happens, that's fine, it's accepted, it's understood,
1:45
Speaker 1: and it can be unfortunate and you want to teach
1:47
Speaker 1: your daughters to do different. Does it have to be
1:49
Speaker 1: aired out in such a way that now you have
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Speaker 1: high profile, celebrity, successful women who have now been put
1:57
Speaker 1: in a position to have to feel accusations essentially that
2:02
Speaker 1: they arelves that they are the toxic ones. That's the
2:07
Speaker 1: impression that's left. Is that fair? Before we get into
2:09
Speaker 1: the details, Is that fair? Yeah?
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Speaker 2: I don't think it's cool at all to air anything
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Speaker 2: publicly period. And I know people are you know, you
2:17
Speaker 2: could say, oh, I'm trying to make others feel not
2:20
Speaker 2: so alone, but in actuality, it looks like you are
2:23
Speaker 2: trying to get attention for yourself and are playing the victim.
2:26
Speaker 2: Whether you realize that or not, that is what is
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Speaker 2: ultimately happening. Because there is a good guy and a
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Speaker 2: bad guy. And I know we'll get into the details
2:34
Speaker 2: about how she tries to say that's not what she's doing,
2:37
Speaker 2: but that's what she's doing because she points to all
2:40
Speaker 2: of their grievances against her, so she can say, oh,
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Speaker 2: I'm not I'm not saying they're toxic people, but she is.
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Speaker 2: So that's even unfair. She's not even being honest with
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Speaker 2: what she's saying and doing.
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Speaker 1: Okay, So let's go back this hit, didn't it Okay,
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Speaker 1: Ashley Tisdale, Let's start there. Ashley Tisdale French is what
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Speaker 1: she goes by now because she is married Ashley Tisdale French,
3:03
Speaker 1: but known for sure high school music. Most that is
3:07
Speaker 1: what she is known for, high school musical. She also
3:10
Speaker 1: Phineas and Verb. That was an animated hit I believe
3:13
Speaker 1: as well that she voiced. But she is married now
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Speaker 1: to a guy by the name of David French that
3:17
Speaker 1: have two kids, a four year old and a sixteen
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Speaker 1: month old. Now, this all got going because she wrote
3:23
Speaker 1: in particular, one essay that's getting a lot of attention
3:26
Speaker 1: that was in the cut, but she wrote one in
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Speaker 1: December as well on her own website, in which robes
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Speaker 1: this kind of sums it up. The first one was
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Speaker 1: titled you're allowed to leave your mom group. And then
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Speaker 1: the second one that got so much attention was titled
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Speaker 1: breaking up with My Toxic Mom Group. That was the
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Speaker 1: one that just came out. It was publicized or published
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Speaker 1: in the cut. Now people started piecing together, here's the issue.
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Speaker 1: She does all this talking about toxic mom groups, how
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Speaker 1: she was treated, how she was left out. We'll get
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Speaker 1: into some excerpts, but people started piecing together who who
4:00
Speaker 1: is in her mom group? Because of social media?
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Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean yes, obviously her kids are not that old.
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Speaker 2: So this is a fairly recent mom group. It's not
4:07
Speaker 2: like you have multiple mom groups. It's not easy to
4:09
Speaker 2: find a mom group, to be honest with you, I
4:11
Speaker 2: never was able to do so. I had wanted to,
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Speaker 2: but just where I was in my life didn't align
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Speaker 2: with other people my age who were They weren't doing
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Speaker 2: the same things allah having kids. So yes, that's a
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Speaker 2: beautiful thing. It's not like you have multiple mom groups.
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Speaker 2: So the pictures on social media with Ashley Tisdale are
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Speaker 2: with a very solid set of moms, and they're all.
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Speaker 3: Over the internet.
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Speaker 2: So it's pretty obvious who the mom group is and
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Speaker 2: more importantly, who is in that mom group, And there
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Speaker 2: are some celebrities in that mom.
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Speaker 1: Group, Megan tre Megan Traynor, Hillary Duff, Mandy Moore. Yes,
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Speaker 1: people know those names. These are even if they're not
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Speaker 1: the biggest superstars in the world, they have had such
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Speaker 1: long standing careers that people know who these folks are.
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Speaker 1: And like I would say, these have great reputations.
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Speaker 2: So the other interesting thing about it, Mandy Moore is
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Speaker 2: as wholesome as they get, like she's a Disney princess
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Speaker 2: and just sweet as pie.
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Speaker 3: This is us.
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Speaker 1: Just Hillary Duff too.
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Speaker 2: Hillary Duff has that same reputation, Megan Trainer.
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Speaker 3: Everyone loves her.
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Speaker 2: These are lovable, likable humans, women and certainly moms, and
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Speaker 2: it's fun to see them all getting along and supporting
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Speaker 2: each other. So yes, when someone comes out and points
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Speaker 2: to that mom group and it calls it toxic, that's
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Speaker 2: obviously going to make headlines. And it's not okay to say, oh,
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Speaker 2: I didn't name names. I think that is so unfair.
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Speaker 1: Okay, So that I think robes and like we do
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Speaker 1: with all these things, where conversations start happening in the
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Speaker 1: public domain, people going to take sides. So people want
5:45
Speaker 1: to either completely side with Ashley Tissdale or side with
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Speaker 1: the others. And right now, when I'm seeing robes and
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Speaker 1: you've looked at a lot of this, a sense that
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Speaker 1: Ashley Tisdale is getting more support than criticism. Yes, is
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Speaker 1: that fair to say?
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Speaker 2: Or yes, I would say so. And especially it doesn't help,
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Speaker 2: And it certainly didn't help that folks from the other
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Speaker 2: side went into defense mode.
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Speaker 3: And I understand why they did.
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Speaker 2: Especially it was the husbands or in particular Hillary Duff's
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Speaker 2: husband who added fuel to the fire. He wanted to
6:16
Speaker 2: defend his wife's honor. And there is something admirable about that.
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Speaker 2: But I think people who feel left out, people who
6:23
Speaker 2: feel isolated, people who feel like they got uninvited to
6:27
Speaker 2: group events, that is such a lonely, awful feeling that
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Speaker 2: they connect immediately to what Ashley Tisdale is saying.
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Speaker 1: Okay, so he was the first to throw fuel on
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Speaker 1: the fire, So what set him off? The essay just
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Speaker 1: a couple of excerpts from the one at least from
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Speaker 1: the cut robes that got so much attention. She was
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Speaker 1: saying this was like high school drama. She felt left
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Speaker 1: out of her group, She felt she had found her
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Speaker 1: village in a sense of belonging, but that group dynamic
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Speaker 1: stopped being healthy and positive. She did want to focus
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Speaker 1: on this. Moms aren't bad people, she said. The moms
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Speaker 1: aren't bad people, but it was a toxic environment. She
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Speaker 1: says she could sense a growing distance between me and
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Speaker 1: the other members of the group, who seem to not
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Speaker 1: even care that I wasn't around much. When everyone else
7:09
Speaker 1: attended a birthday party together, I was met with excuses
7:12
Speaker 1: as to why I hadn't been invited. So she gone
7:14
Speaker 1: goes on with several of these. She has another essay
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Speaker 1: we'll get into as well. Now this one in particular,
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Speaker 1: go back to the husband. Now, this really set things off,
7:24
Speaker 1: And to be honest with you, I loved, I kind
7:27
Speaker 1: of loved it was as snarky and it wasn't necessary,
7:30
Speaker 1: but this sounded like a dude defending his wife.
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Speaker 2: Yes, and Hillary Duff, I have to say, whatever you
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Speaker 2: think about what he did. She has to feel loved
7:36
Speaker 2: in this moment because this is what probably every wife
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Speaker 2: would love for her husband to do. Matthew Koma they
7:41
Speaker 2: have a seven year old, a four year old, and
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Speaker 2: an eight month old together.
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Speaker 3: He basically created an Instagram.
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Speaker 2: Post that mocked the cover of the cut where you
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Speaker 2: see Ashley Tisdale in a black sweater of black pants
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Speaker 2: with her hand on her cheek and she just looks,
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Speaker 2: I don't know, she kind of looks like a boss
8:00
Speaker 2: bitch on a couch, you know. So he basically put
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Speaker 2: his head on her head. He super imposed his head
8:07
Speaker 2: and changed the title. Instead of breaking up with my
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Speaker 2: toxic mom group, he wrote, when you're the most self obsessed.
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Speaker 3: Tone deaf person on earth.
8:15
Speaker 2: Other moms tend to shift focus to their actual toddlers.
8:18
Speaker 2: A mom group tell all through a father's eyes.
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Speaker 1: Okay, that was this that I love this.
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Speaker 3: Kind of paste.
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Speaker 1: Then it's funny. Come on, that was a funny response.
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Speaker 2: Yes, I agree, that sent the internet like wild and look,
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Speaker 2: I it was clever.
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Speaker 3: It was a clever It was a clever clap back.
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Speaker 1: But that I would say, is it not the most
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Speaker 1: official response. Okay, we'll get into Megan trainers. But he
8:45
Speaker 1: directly addressed Ashley Tisdale has put these women in a
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Speaker 1: position to where they have to defend themselves. We're only
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Speaker 1: getting one side of the story. Their side might be
8:56
Speaker 1: you wouldn't believe how Ashley was behaving. You wouldn't, but
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Speaker 1: because because We're only getting a one sided accusation, is
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Speaker 1: the only this Everything might be true, she might, but
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Speaker 1: you have to keep in mind, what are you doing
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Speaker 1: to these people and their reputations who now have to
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Speaker 1: defend themselves against what.
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Speaker 2: And the only way to defend themselves is to probably
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Speaker 2: throw her under the bus, which is not something they
9:17
Speaker 2: might want to do either, Like they would have to
9:19
Speaker 2: say something to what Matthew was saying, like there's a
9:21
Speaker 2: reason why you weren't invited. Do some self examination. Look,
9:24
Speaker 2: and I always think about I love you know how
9:27
Speaker 2: much I love one of my favorite podcasters?
9:31
Speaker 3: Why is her name skipping?
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Speaker 1: It's only Gabby Burnstein or mail Robin, No.
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Speaker 3: Robin, thank you, I've let them.
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Speaker 2: She actually talks about having this experience in her life
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Speaker 2: with friends and groups and social media. Right you go
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Speaker 2: and you see online on social media now that they
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Speaker 2: all had a lunch without you, or they all went
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Speaker 2: to a winery without you or whatever, there was some
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Speaker 2: group activity and you know you didn't get invited. Her
9:54
Speaker 2: advice is, instead of getting bitter and being angry and
9:58
Speaker 2: maybe writing an article and calling people out, let them.
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Speaker 2: Let people and then and then if you want to
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Speaker 2: invite them, invite them and and then ask questions and
10:07
Speaker 2: get curious, but don't just throw jabs and assume they're
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Speaker 2: bad and you've been victimized in some way. And so
10:15
Speaker 2: just this notion of trying to understand why this happened
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Speaker 2: and then letting people be who they are without judging them.
10:22
Speaker 2: I know that's really easy to say and very hard
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Speaker 2: to do, but I just think about Mel Robbins had
10:27
Speaker 2: this exact scenario that she went through on her podcast
10:31
Speaker 2: and talked about the best way to handle it, because
10:34
Speaker 2: it happens. This stuff happens, people don't like each other,
10:37
Speaker 2: people realize they aren't good fits. But unfortunately, airing it
10:41
Speaker 2: all out and blaming someone else, this is what ends
10:45
Speaker 2: up happening.
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Speaker 1: I want to always leave room for Ashley Tisdale having
10:49
Speaker 1: whatever experience she had, and everything could be and you know,
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Speaker 1: it's not even a matter is it true or not
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Speaker 1: is it true to her? We talk about this all
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Speaker 1: the time. People go through the exact act the same experiences,
11:02
Speaker 1: but they will tell two different stories about how those
11:04
Speaker 1: experience impacted them or how they viewed them. This could
11:07
Speaker 1: be everything out of her mouth could be one hundred
11:08
Speaker 1: percent troop in her mind at least, I'm sure that's true,
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Speaker 1: not making anything up, but but if there's any critic,
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Speaker 1: what do you do? She had to have known what
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Speaker 1: this was going to do, what attention this was going
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Speaker 1: to turn to? What is it?
11:23
Speaker 2: Her?
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Speaker 1: Her rep is telling TMZ how they try to kind
11:27
Speaker 1: of clear this up, if you will, Robes, They said
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Speaker 1: she was writing the essay it had nothing to do
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Speaker 1: about any other woman in particular.
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Speaker 2: Okay, but when you've got pictures out on social media
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Speaker 2: with your mom group, and you've got celebrities consistently in
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Speaker 2: those photos, and then you say you're not going to
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Speaker 2: name names, you know what people are going to do.
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Speaker 1: But is it enough?
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Speaker 3: Obvious?
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Speaker 1: Her rep says, it's not about those women y'all are
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Speaker 1: talking about. Is that enough?
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Speaker 3: No, it's not enough.
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Speaker 2: No, she would have to say, this is not about
12:02
Speaker 2: Meghan Trainer, this is not about Manny Moore, This is
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Speaker 2: not this is a completely different friend group that I've
12:06
Speaker 2: never posted about. But no one's gonna believe that anyway,
12:09
Speaker 2: because she has all of these pictures of her mom
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Speaker 2: group going to the spot together like this is obviously
12:15
Speaker 2: the group she's referring to.
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Speaker 1: Is this is her justification for putting this out, and
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Speaker 1: I'm very curious to know what you think of this robes,
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Speaker 1: she writes, I kept thinking, aren't we supposed to be
12:28
Speaker 1: teaching our kids to speak up for themselves when their
12:31
Speaker 1: feelings are hurt, when they get left out on the playground?
12:34
Speaker 1: Aren't we supposed to teach kids to include each other?
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Speaker 1: I knew I had to speak up for myself, just
12:41
Speaker 1: like I would want my daughters to do. Okay, I'm
12:44
Speaker 1: just gonna stop and ask for your reaction.
12:46
Speaker 3: I think that's a week.
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Speaker 2: I think that's a weak argument for airing your dirty laundry.
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Speaker 2: I think she could speak up to her for herself
12:54
Speaker 2: within her friend group.
12:55
Speaker 3: She could have directly.
12:56
Speaker 2: I think the more the braver and more courageous and
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Speaker 2: more correct way to handle it would to have been
13:00
Speaker 2: internally write a letter whatever she posted on her website
13:05
Speaker 2: for clicks.
13:05
Speaker 3: If she had.
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Speaker 2: Written that letter individually to those women and actually talked
13:09
Speaker 2: about how she felt and how they could find a
13:12
Speaker 2: way back to each other or why she needed to leave.
13:15
Speaker 2: But having those conversations directly with the people involved is
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Speaker 2: what I would want to teach my children to do,
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Speaker 2: to actually directly and bravely and be radically honest with
13:24
Speaker 2: the people who you did care about, to resolve something
13:27
Speaker 2: going forward, not to put it out for the public
13:30
Speaker 2: to then judge and to get people on your side.
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Speaker 3: To me, that is not the lesson I would want
13:35
Speaker 3: to teach my children.
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Speaker 1: It's jumped out to me. And she's forty. I believe
13:40
Speaker 1: she's not of a much younger generation than us. But
13:44
Speaker 1: the idea that when you're left out in the playground,
13:47
Speaker 1: teach kids to include each other, that's true. But there
13:51
Speaker 1: was something in here that seemed to suggest that the
13:55
Speaker 1: world at life, that people are supposed to always be fair,
14:00
Speaker 1: and we seem to be teaching or this idea sometimes
14:02
Speaker 1: that I shouldn't be hurt. My feelings shouldn't be hurt,
14:05
Speaker 1: and if they are, then y'all must be toxic or
14:08
Speaker 1: that must be a problem. The truth is your mom
14:12
Speaker 1: said you never leave high school. This is just what
14:14
Speaker 1: life is. And where is the grit coming from? Where
14:19
Speaker 1: are we getting more than just look at what everybody's
14:23
Speaker 1: doing to me? And what's no? This is life. And
14:26
Speaker 1: sometimes people are mean and assholes and you get kicked
14:28
Speaker 1: out of a group. Sometimes you're the asshole. This is life,
14:31
Speaker 1: and this is learning. But I didn't like or something
14:34
Speaker 1: didn't sit right with me about flipping it in such
14:36
Speaker 1: a way that I'm teaching a lesson. The lesson here
14:39
Speaker 1: is to what complained is to call them out, to
14:43
Speaker 1: throw them out of the bus, or to dig in
14:45
Speaker 1: and deal with the human relationship.
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Speaker 2: Babe, you just nailed it. That's amazing. I hadn't thought
14:51
Speaker 2: about it like that. But yes, of course you and
14:52
Speaker 2: I were taught, maybe because we are in a different
14:56
Speaker 2: generation than Ashley Dishale, but that is exactly what I've
14:59
Speaker 2: taught my daughter and you've taught yours. I know that, yeah,
15:02
Speaker 2: life is unfair. You aren't always going to get a
15:05
Speaker 2: fair shake, and everybody isn't always going to like you,
15:08
Speaker 2: and it's not their fault and it's not even your fault,
15:11
Speaker 2: but sometimes that's the way the world is, and you
15:13
Speaker 2: have to learn how to accept the reality. You can't
15:17
Speaker 2: force people to like you, and you can't expect people
15:20
Speaker 2: to include you, include them, invite them, be the bridge,
15:24
Speaker 2: and know that everyone isn't always going to walk over
15:26
Speaker 2: to your side.
15:27
Speaker 3: But yes, you're right.
15:28
Speaker 2: The lesson she is implying is to say, this isn't
15:32
Speaker 2: fair this isn't right, and you need to be called out.
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Speaker 3: That's not a lesson I would want my daughters to learn.
15:39
Speaker 1: But folks, all this back and forth, all the headlines
15:42
Speaker 1: this week, stay here when we come back, who can
15:46
Speaker 1: explain why you should never be in a mom group
15:49
Speaker 1: in the first place? Anyway? Stay here? All right? We
16:02
Speaker 1: continue here, going to wrap up here on Amy and DJ.
16:06
Speaker 1: It was it's been making headlines robes. We've been talking
16:08
Speaker 1: about this toxic mom group story kind of the past
16:11
Speaker 1: several days, and I think every time you mentioned that,
16:13
Speaker 1: I'm like, nah, we're doing this.
16:15
Speaker 3: We're not going to do this story.
16:16
Speaker 2: But this actually Look, you could talk about mom groups,
16:19
Speaker 2: but you can talk about sorority houses, you can talk
16:21
Speaker 2: about girls living with each other in college, or you
16:24
Speaker 2: can talk about friend groups.
16:25
Speaker 3: That it's all the same thing.
16:27
Speaker 2: It's all the same dynamic, and it's it's messy, and
16:31
Speaker 2: but we're supposed to be learning lessons about ourselves and
16:34
Speaker 2: about life and about each other. And the hope is
16:38
Speaker 2: through some of the discord and through some of the
16:40
Speaker 2: uncomfortable moments you grow you don't point fingers. But of
16:43
Speaker 2: course that's the ideal, dealistic way to look at it
16:46
Speaker 2: and here we are.
16:47
Speaker 1: Are there dad groups? Do dudes do this?
16:52
Speaker 2: You could answer that better than I can, but I
16:54
Speaker 2: think we all know the answer.
16:55
Speaker 1: Yes, what are dudes doing in a grit? Is there
16:58
Speaker 1: a dad group? Your dads get together? No, that's not
17:00
Speaker 1: deesn't happen.
17:01
Speaker 3: As well, but golf maybe you know.
17:02
Speaker 1: I have a question though about a mom group. Do
17:04
Speaker 1: moms are kids always included in the group or is
17:07
Speaker 1: this a mom group to where you're getting together to
17:09
Speaker 1: have the wine and the kids aren't around.
17:10
Speaker 2: I think the kids are mostly around the ideas that
17:12
Speaker 2: they can be playing with each other while you all
17:14
Speaker 2: sip some wine or you know, and it does tend
17:18
Speaker 2: to get a little gossip, ye, I think. Look, I've
17:20
Speaker 2: never had a mom group, but you know the book
17:22
Speaker 2: club I've been in a like, yes, you drink some
17:25
Speaker 2: wine and you spill some tea and all of that.
17:28
Speaker 2: So yes, things do get a little cliquie. It's just
17:31
Speaker 2: it is kind of what girls do.
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Speaker 1: Oh my goodness. But here is the thing. And we
17:36
Speaker 1: talk a lot about relationships on this podcast on I
17:39
Speaker 1: Do Part two on iHeart, and we just we're in
17:42
Speaker 1: that lane in a lot of ways, and this is
17:44
Speaker 1: something we talk about, and I'm wondering about mom groups.
17:48
Speaker 1: Don't you run into a problem or isn't there always
17:52
Speaker 1: going to be a potential dynamic clash when the only
17:55
Speaker 1: thing that's actually bringing you together is one thing, the
17:57
Speaker 1: fact that you got a kid. Like, some of these
18:00
Speaker 1: groups are getting together not because I have this in
18:02
Speaker 1: common with this mom, or have this in common. We
18:04
Speaker 1: would share the same interest or we even like the
18:06
Speaker 1: same wine, or we have the same sport, or we
18:08
Speaker 1: work out the same You just have a kid, do you.
18:12
Speaker 1: We talk about relationships all the time. If you only
18:15
Speaker 1: have one thing that's bringing you together, would you hang
18:19
Speaker 1: out with these people if you didn't have a kid.
18:21
Speaker 2: And that's a question to ask, yes, And so it's
18:24
Speaker 2: funny you say that because, look, I think it's awesome
18:27
Speaker 2: to have support from other women who are in your
18:31
Speaker 2: certain age group, who are going through the same things
18:34
Speaker 2: for the first time. I understand how that's communal and helpful,
18:38
Speaker 2: but it also can get you can start comparing, You
18:43
Speaker 2: start you start maybe even judging, You may feel jealousy.
18:49
Speaker 2: It creates all of these like the all things are
18:52
Speaker 2: not going to be equal, and then kids might not
18:54
Speaker 2: get along. Kids might start fighting, kids might start not
18:58
Speaker 2: liking each other.
18:59
Speaker 3: The potential for problems is.
19:03
Speaker 2: Honestly, it's a lot. And I never was in a
19:07
Speaker 2: mon group. I never, truth be told, I never wanted
19:10
Speaker 2: to be in a mock group. When I was socializing,
19:12
Speaker 2: I actually wanted to not talk about my kids.
19:15
Speaker 1: That's just me.
19:16
Speaker 2: I love my children. When I was with them, I
19:17
Speaker 2: was immersed. But when I was with my friends, I
19:19
Speaker 2: didn't want to talk about changing diapers. I didn't want
19:21
Speaker 2: to talk about you know, how many ounces of milk
19:24
Speaker 2: my baby had that night. Like that just wasn't my jam.
19:27
Speaker 2: But for those who it is, it does start to
19:29
Speaker 2: get comparative. You know who's crawling first, who's walking verst.
19:32
Speaker 2: That sounds silly, but these types of things happen, and
19:34
Speaker 2: then resentments build and clicks form, and.
19:38
Speaker 3: You can just see how this stuff happens.
19:40
Speaker 1: This is a and you can speak on it. This
19:43
Speaker 1: is what women do. Take the kids out of it.
19:44
Speaker 1: If you get a group of women together, five women
19:47
Speaker 1: getting together every week for anything, they're going to size
19:49
Speaker 1: each other out from the moment they walking down Rod.
19:51
Speaker 2: I hate to say it, but yes, the most contentious
19:53
Speaker 2: year of my life, I think was when I lived
19:55
Speaker 2: with five women in my junior year of college.
19:57
Speaker 3: It was the hardest year.
20:00
Speaker 1: You're comparing shoes, purses, outfits, careers, relationships, kids constantly, right,
20:07
Speaker 1: constantly is what you all doing. I have noticed so
20:10
Speaker 1: many times now with you. We go into places and
20:12
Speaker 1: it might be a woman or somebody we meet for
20:14
Speaker 1: the first time a couple. To see how the woman
20:17
Speaker 1: sears and into you and looks you up and down
20:21
Speaker 1: is I have started noticing these things in a way,
20:24
Speaker 1: like why God, and she's the nicest thing in the
20:27
Speaker 1: world to you, not not unpleasant, but just to see
20:30
Speaker 1: how women size each other.
20:32
Speaker 2: Yes, and we see it, we see it happening, and
20:34
Speaker 2: it yes, and then right, and then you put yeah,
20:38
Speaker 2: and like that's.
20:39
Speaker 3: The the mama bear. Mama bear comes out.
20:41
Speaker 2: So if you say anything that I don't like about
20:43
Speaker 2: my child, or I'm looking at your child and I'm thinking,
20:47
Speaker 2: oh my god, it is just to me. Now I'm
20:49
Speaker 2: understanding completely why I didn't get into a mom group,
20:54
Speaker 2: because it does start off supportive, starting off supportive and
20:57
Speaker 2: look and maybe and people have by the way, in
21:00
Speaker 2: light of this, there have been so many folks who
21:04
Speaker 2: have put up their mom groups and said ten years
21:07
Speaker 2: and still going strong, twenty years, still going strong. People
21:10
Speaker 2: talking about being at each other's kids' weddings and having
21:13
Speaker 2: these mom groups last for decades, and that's beautiful and
21:16
Speaker 2: that's awesome. So I'm being you know, I'm maybe being
21:19
Speaker 2: negative here because there are plenty of examples of beautiful
21:22
Speaker 2: and not that they didn't have their struggles, I'm sure,
21:25
Speaker 2: and their issues, but they figured it out and they've
21:28
Speaker 2: formed these beautiful bonds.
21:29
Speaker 1: That is important to say, because this has put a
21:31
Speaker 1: negative spin on this thing that you said is positive.
21:34
Speaker 1: Every group is going to have an issue, But I
21:37
Speaker 1: think why this? And I think you actually upset me
21:43
Speaker 1: right before we started recording because I said, I wish
21:46
Speaker 1: you hadn't even told me that, because I've been asking
21:49
Speaker 1: the question, why does she put this out? Why would
21:51
Speaker 1: she do this? Why she knew what this was going
21:54
Speaker 1: to do. I wanted to reserve room for her just
21:56
Speaker 1: having something on our heart, something on her mind, and
21:59
Speaker 1: wanted to get this out out and other women are
22:02
Speaker 1: going through it great, but damn it, why did you
22:05
Speaker 1: have to show this to me?
22:06
Speaker 2: So just a few hours ago, Ashley Tisdale put on
22:09
Speaker 2: the top of her Instagram feed a slow zoom out
22:14
Speaker 2: photo of her doing some yoga pose in the desert,
22:17
Speaker 2: and it says find your strength within coming February first,
22:22
Speaker 2: and then it tags her wellness brand. So either she
22:26
Speaker 2: planned this whole thing and now she's launching this campaign,
22:30
Speaker 2: or she saw she was getting a lot of attention
22:33
Speaker 2: that she hadn't had in decades and she decided to
22:36
Speaker 2: launch a campaign. I don't know which came first, but
22:39
Speaker 2: certainly she is capitalizing on the newfound or I guess the
22:44
Speaker 2: renewed interest in her brand.
22:47
Speaker 1: Her name is business is what You're supposed to do.
22:50
Speaker 1: It just will suggest to some that this was orchestrated
22:54
Speaker 1: and she knew what she was doing. But hey, this
22:58
Speaker 1: could all be a c winketing, or she could just
22:59
Speaker 1: be a good business woman right now and say, hey,
23:01
Speaker 1: I have an opportunity, let me jump on this now.
23:03
Speaker 2: We didn't talk about Meghan Trainer, by the way. I
23:05
Speaker 2: just wanted to point that out because what did you
23:07
Speaker 2: think about how she We mentioned it, but I did
23:09
Speaker 2: want to actually talk about it a little bit. What
23:11
Speaker 2: did you think about her choice to be at a
23:15
Speaker 2: computer and have the song playing that she had in
23:19
Speaker 2: the background with her caption.
23:21
Speaker 1: She just wanted to address it without addressing it. Hers
23:23
Speaker 1: was kind of it was in line with Hillary doves Housmand,
23:27
Speaker 1: kind of just being silly about it not having to
23:30
Speaker 1: you know, I don't know Holly Berry came to mind here,
23:32
Speaker 1: but she's good at addressing controversy just with some silly
23:36
Speaker 1: post and not necessarily directly, but kind of directly. I
23:40
Speaker 1: thought it was playful. It was fun.
23:41
Speaker 3: It was a playful nod.
23:42
Speaker 2: She had still Don't Care playing in the background, and
23:45
Speaker 2: then she was at the computer and it looked like
23:48
Speaker 2: she was like looking at the tea and it said
23:50
Speaker 2: me finding out about the apparent mom group drama. So
23:54
Speaker 2: she even stead a parent, meaning like, what are you
23:55
Speaker 2: talking about? We're all good, We're all fine, everything's fine.
23:59
Speaker 2: So she has a four and a two year old.
24:01
Speaker 2: So look, I love the idea of mom supporting each other.
24:03
Speaker 2: I love the idea of moms hanging out together. And yeah,
24:09
Speaker 2: there will be problems, almost assuredly, there will be some
24:12
Speaker 2: sort of little drama. But if you can look at
24:14
Speaker 2: it as an opportunity to learn more about yourself and
24:17
Speaker 2: your triggers and why you got upset and just not
24:20
Speaker 2: necessarily be quick to say everyone else is toxic and
24:23
Speaker 2: poor me.
24:24
Speaker 3: That's the thing.
24:26
Speaker 2: That's the takeaway I get from this is just a
24:28
Speaker 2: reminder and because we all do it. I do it,
24:31
Speaker 2: everyone listening does it. We want to victimize ourselves, poor us.
24:34
Speaker 2: Look what's happening to us? No, why don't we ask ourselves?
24:38
Speaker 2: Why am I so upset? And what can I do
24:40
Speaker 2: about it? And where is my piece? And not blaming
24:42
Speaker 2: anyone else? That's the way forward.
24:45
Speaker 1: Thank you for bringing that home. I was resisting this
24:47
Speaker 1: story for several days and it's there are important nuggets
24:52
Speaker 1: to take out of it, So thank you for that,
24:54
Speaker 1: and thank you all as always for listening to our
24:57
Speaker 1: kind of our morning coffee, morning tea routine. Just came
25:00
Speaker 1: out into our podcast studio and decided to sit down
25:03
Speaker 1: and talk about this one. So we appreciate you going
25:06
Speaker 1: along with us. So for now, I'm TJ. Holmes on
25:08
Speaker 1: my happ of my dear Amy Robot. We will talk
25:09
Speaker 1: to you all soon.