Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 3: Birth Order & Personalities
Transcript
- speaker-0: you speaker-1: Welcome to the Just Us Sisters podcast. Life doesn't come with a manual, so we made a podcast. speaker-2: Thank you. speaker-0: you speaker-3: I'm your host today, Stacey, and I'm the baby of the family. And today we are diving into something that we have many opinions about, and that's birth order. Whether we want to admit it or not, it shaped our personalities big time. And since we've lived this together, we're going to consider this our unofficial, unscientific, extremely accurate analysis of who became who and why. I also want to call out that we all agreed to wear our favorite color today and three of us have the same favorite color and she's odd man out normally that's Cheryl but today that's Shelley. speaker-1: We look like a Christmas bulb. speaker-3: We do. We sure do. So let's dive in. Do y'all feel like birth order shaped us and had an impact on our personalities and where we are today? speaker-1: Absolutely. Absolutely it did. I mean, I was the oldest and I was kind of, no one told me I needed to be responsible, but I felt like I needed to be responsible. And so I just took that responsibility to greater height and became the second mom. So yeah, I feel like that definitely came from my birth order. Yeah. speaker-3: You know, they always say that the first one is the best one. That's why there's more than one. And that probably had a lot to do with why there's more than one of us for mom and dad. I'm sure. Yeah, think it is. Cheryl, they always say, and I think most of us have experienced this ourselves. The second one is your most challenging. They're the ones that you kind of learn how to really be a parent with. speaker-1: That's why. speaker-3: Do you think that that describes you? speaker-4: I do. think for some reason the middle child is expected to be different and you can take that however you want. know that Susan, like she already said, she kind of had the mom thing going on, which mom probably did need some help because when you got, I'm talking about with four girls, she needed some help. And so Susan was speaker-1: With you, she did. speaker-4: Glad to step right in there. speaker-3: Yeah, absolutely. Shelly, are second middle. How did that impact you having older sisters and a younger sister? speaker-2: an anomaly with a five year gap. have both the first child and middle child tendencies. So I don't feel like being cared would have been as impactful if there wasn't such a gap between us. But I definitely have the mothering tendencies and the bossy. speaker-3: I'll see. What? speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ speaker-2: What about your birth order, Stacey? speaker-3: Yeah, I'm all about being the youngest, the spoiled one, the one that made them stop having kids. Yeah, I'm all about that. Every part of being the youngest I accept. I'm spoiled. I don't think I got away with more, but I think that Susan and Cheryl probably have something to say about that. yeah. speaker-1: That's a matter of opinion. speaker-3: Yeah, I probably agree with that. I know, Susan, you said you were a second mother ish type and had responsibility. And do you think that that would have been different if you were number two? Do think you would have had the free spirit that Cheryl has? speaker-1: You know, I don't know. That's a good question. I don't know how I would answer that because I'm a little bit, I'm a forced extrovert because I'm a little bit introverted and I just, you know, feel responsible for things and need and feel like I need to take charge and do. But I don't know if being in a different role, birth order role would change how I do things. speaker-4: I see Susan as more free spirit now than she ever was when we were growing up. speaker-1: Absolutely. Yeah, I was very cautious. I don't know if that's a first child thing, but I was very cautious. speaker-3: I would kid you that the first are very cautious. speaker-1: I would think through things and if it didn't sound either safe or like something that would be a good decision, I would not do it. But I will tell you this, the most protective out of all of us is Shelly. think that she protects, being in the middle, she protects the older ones. She protects Stacey and you know, I think we've all been protected by her. Although we are all pretty protective of one another, we can say things about each other, but no one else can say things. our husbands. And I my husband found that out the hard way. But yeah, I feel like that that Shelly is very protective. She'll be the first to tell us that we're wrong and tell the truth and speak it to us. But she also be the first to protect us. speaker-3: Hold us accountable. Yeah. Yes. I can tell you many times I've called Shelly and Cheryl both when something either happened to me or to my kids and they were like, where do we need to go? And I have a story about that with John too. Go ahead and tell that right now because it does show the protectiveness that they both have. But John too is my oldest son and he passed away in 2022, but he was black. and he was adopted and he dealt with racism sometimes. And he had called and told me about some guy that called him the N-word and was just very ugly to him. He was an adult and it hit me hard. And I called Shelly and Cheryl and they were ready to load up and drive down to Texas City. People don't do that to our people. And so speaker-1: ⁓ my god speaker-3: That's a great story of how protective they are. ⁓ speaker-2: Yeah, we have a number of those stories sitting in the football stands and telling them you're going to need to shut your mouth. speaker-4: Yeah. speaker-3: Absolutely. Well, being the middle ones, you always hear about the middle child feeling kind of overlooked or not in the spotlight. Did y'all ever feel that way, Shelly? Did you and Cheryl? speaker-2: I Sheryl did because of her personality. You can't overlook Sheryl. I felt overlooked, but it was just... I mean, I just thought it was the way it was. speaker-3: Cheryl, did you tell Overlook? speaker-4: Yes, I did. I remember when I was in school having to follow Susan. If you've ever heard of the movie Mary Poppins, practically perfect in every way. Well, that's what I followed. She's smart, athletic, cheerleader. She was all that and more. But anyway, it was hard to follow her. I think that's why I had to start acting out. to get some attention. speaker-3: Any attention is good attention, is that right? Mm-hmm. I felt that way following Shelly too. Just from you saying it, I was like, yeah, that's how I felt following Shelly. speaker-2: Now following Cheryl was different. The teachers didn't have expectations of acting perfect. I went to the same middle school as both Susan and Cheryl. And when I was in with the science teacher, when she heard my name, she said, are you any relation to Cheryl? I was like, yeah. And she said, ⁓ speaker-0: Thank speaker-2: and she didn't go into detail, so I'm not sure what took place in that science lab, but I wasn't going to push it. speaker-3: Y'all being the youngest of four girls came with a lot of stresses, a lot of blessings too. But there were a lot of stresses to keep up. You know, I always joke that I had three moms. Cheryl, you're not included in that. didn't act like a mom. But I mom, and Shelly. And they all had something to say about what I was doing, especially Shelly, because my parents shipped me off to live with her after I graduated. I did get picked on constantly. Cheryl was probably the biggest picker on her. It's called Bug Arm for a long time because Cheryl smashed a bug on my arm. And so that was my name, Bug Arm. And Shelly dropped me in a fresh pile of cow manure in my brand new denim shorts that had really cute little ruffles around the edge. And they were ruined. So I... speaker-2: It didn't end up being as funny as we thought it would be. speaker-3: No, that's it. speaker-1: But it made you who you are today, Stacey. speaker-3: Yeah, and I can take a lot. speaker-1: You're resilient. speaker-4: Start calling you BA again. ⁓ speaker-3: No, you're not. Cause I'll pick up for myself now. ⁓ speaker-1: ⁓ She'll smash a bug on your arm. That's right. speaker-3: That is right. ⁓ speaker-4: Catch me first. speaker-3: That's a classic birth order argument that we still have and it might not be an argument, but you know that classic birth order thing that goes on with us still. speaker-2: I'm sorry. ⁓ speaker-1: This is it. This is an argument. One of y'all go... speaker-4: Well, I was gonna say, it's not an argument. Everybody knows Susan's got the mom thing going on. Shelly, who we nicknamed Boo Boo, because she cried at everything. And I haven't seen her cry like that in a couple of years. So she grew out of that phase. And then Stacey just being so spoiled, the little baby. And we called you Binky. I don't know if you remember that. speaker-1: I remember that. Yeah. I don't know that this is an argument, but it's a memory that just screams to me, birth order. And that is Christmas. Probably one of our first Christmases when I had my first child, I think it was, he was, I don't think I had any others at that time, but everyone lives in the central Texas area. So I'm driving in from the Houston area. with a child and then we bring not the turkey because my parents provide that but we bring the dressing, the gravy, a dessert and I think another dish. And I get there and Cheryl the second in the birth order, she lives in town and she's bringing canned cranberries and rolls. ⁓ speaker-3: Yep, rolls. speaker-4: That's my signature thing that I always bring. Your daughter-in-law, Erin, tried to steal, bring in the rolls and the cranberries. ⁓ speaker-3: Nah. speaker-1: No, not happening. Well, Shelly brings the only dish at that time that she knew how to make, which was the broccoli, cheese and rice casserole. The best. And then Stacey, Stacey brings whatever Casey made and it was good, but Casey made it. And I'm thinking, this is the birth order right here. This is how it works. So Shelly brings what she can make perfectly. Stacey brings Casey along so he can bring in all the good food and then Cheryl brings whatever's easy. A lot of it, but whatever's easy. anyway, that was a big birth order memory of mine. speaker-4: I miss those grandies rolls. speaker-1: Yeah, those were good. They were good. speaker-4: And they were expensive, by the way. speaker-0: Okay. speaker-3: Even ice, don't forget that she would bring ice. speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ speaker-3: Now it's drinks and ice when we have things. Is there anything that is still 100 % you that you had from your birth order? ⁓ speaker-2: I have carried forward, I was a little bit more of a rule follower when I was young and that pretty much has gone out the window. But the leadership, the bossiness that definitely has conveyed. speaker-1: saying for me, rule oriented, very much so cautious and bossy. Yes. speaker-4: I've continued the path of being different. I've embraced it. And that's what I know for. speaker-3: That's good that you've embraced it. I'm a real follower too though. Is that normal for a baby of the family? speaker-4: think so. speaker-1: My unscientific opinion would be no. speaker-3: No. speaker-2: Let us know listeners. If you're the baby listeners, let us know because Stacey may be an anomaly also. speaker-3: Yeah. What were you going to say? speaker-4: My baby was a big rule follower until she left the house. speaker-3: So, what's something that you loved about your role in the family growing up? speaker-1: I love that it taught me responsibility. It taught me leadership. It taught me initiative. It taught me conflict management. Because I shared a room with Cheryl and we had a divider going across it and. Yeah, I'm imaginary, but her side was very messy, so it taught me how to live with all different types of people. speaker-4: In speaker-1: some different than me. So yeah, I think that taught me to be a peacemaker. speaker-2: Yeah, being the mother of an only child, I can definitely attest to the conflict management and all of that being a part of our lives because it was just a part of the relationships that we had. Cherokee going off to college and experiencing a roommate for the first time, it made me look back and think, ⁓ my gosh, Stacey and I, know, I mean, ours were fights over clothes and this and that, but Without that, would imagine that's difficult getting into that in your college years for the very first time. ⁓ speaker-1: Cheryl and I did not fight over clothes. speaker-4: No. speaker-1: She had a way different style than I had. speaker-4: fought with my dad over clothes. speaker-1: But you have those track shoes. have those. Remember those track shoes that you wore. speaker-4: We call them nine flats. black ones are white. speaker-1: yeah. speaker-2: Yeah, sure. All got Susan's hand me downs, but by the time they went through Cheryl, I couldn't. I couldn't wear them, so I actually got. A new set of clothes typically or my mom made our clothes a lot of times. speaker-3: Yeah, I'm going to tell Shelly and I had knocked down dragouts. mean, like flying out the door, wearing a slip only. We lived out in the country, so it was okay. But parents out of town, I don't even remember what we got in a fight over, but we were getting ready for church. I do remember that. And she chased me down the stairs with the curtain iron, just ready. I don't know if it was hot or not. I tend to think it probably was. We ran around the circle drive and backed up the stairs and our grandparents are like, what the heck is going on here? But like Susan said before, we can talk about each other, but nobody else can talk about them. But also on the other end, one time we got on restriction. think that's what mom and dad called it. Y'all got on. Often. Yeah. speaker-1: Distriction. speaker-2: We speaker-1: Instead of saying, thanks probably. speaker-4: Know that. speaker-3: And Susan, do you remember your blue robe that you used to have? You may not remember it, but. speaker-4: On her face, she doesn't remember it. speaker-1: I don't remember that. speaker-3: Okay, you had a blue robe and mom had a dark wig and Shelly and I thought we would sneak out of the house and I got on Shelly's shoulders and put the wig on. Can we put the robe on? speaker-1: like your me? speaker-0: ⁓ speaker-1: ⁓ I bet that went over well. Yeah. Well, one, I'm not seven foot tall. speaker-2: We didn't get very far. speaker-3: Remember, speaker-4: Thank speaker-1: We were living on that 5-9. speaker-2: I suppose that it's teenagers. speaker-1: ⁓ good, it was just last week. speaker-2: If you talk to citizens, Cheryl, they got spankings on a regular and consistent basis. ⁓ speaker-4: Yes. speaker-1: My last banking was at 18. When was y'all's? speaker-3: Mine is my senior year. Yeah. speaker-4: when I was at home for the summer. speaker-1: College. speaker-4: So. ⁓ speaker-1: after it's a last summer. speaker-0: Thank speaker-3: What did you do Cheryl, do you remember? ⁓ speaker-4: Yeah, not that for a whole nother podcast. ⁓ speaker-1: Yeah, right. speaker-3: ⁓ no, Shelly, you got a stinkin' once. speaker-2: I remember one spanking and we both got in trouble. Dad came in. Whenever he said, the belt, we knew we were in trouble, Girls. And yeah, he in and he spanked us. And then he walked out the door and I leaned over to Stacey and I said, that didn't hurt, it? And he was standing outside the door and he came back in there. And he definitely made it, made us feel at that time. I think it was memorable. That was made an impact. Let's just say that. speaker-3: I think sometimes it was worth doing whatever it was. Some things were worth getting us thinking over. ⁓ speaker-1: Yeah. ⁓ y'all talk about spankings like y'all got them every day. ⁓ goodness gracious. Y'all were spoiled rotten. Got away with all kinds of things. speaker-4: I'm going to bring up this one memory. One rule that my parents had when we were growing up is we were not to go dancing at St. Hedwig's, the VFW, and the Blue Bonnet. That was in Shirts, Texas. speaker-3: We didn't go to any of those places Cheryl. speaker-4: Well, yeah, I know you were like six. But anyway, as much as I wanted to go, I truly did respect mom and dad. mean, it might've been a fearful respect, but I didn't go and all my friends went all the time. These two, Shelly and Stacey, in high school, they'd go drive down to Sixth Street in Austin and hang out down there. And if you know anything about Austin, That's not the place for teenagers. I talked to mom and dad about that the other day and they were like, they did? The sixth string? I was like, yes, they did. So who's the- speaker-0: It was a joke! speaker-3: break dancing. A lot of break dancing. ⁓ speaker-2: That's a great dancing. speaker-4: It speaker-1: They didn't have that, Cheryl, they didn't have the same rules and expectations that you and I had. speaker-2: Watch. speaker-4: And that's speaker-2: I tell you we were not drinking. We weren't drinking down on 6th Street. We probably had no business being down there, but we definitely were not getting into trouble in that regard. Save that for another episode, our little escapades on 6th Street. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-3: We did go down. speaker-1: have to sit out of that one because we didn't do that. speaker-3: But you sent Cheryl a picture of a dance hall the other night, I think. Something in... I didn't. Waco? Yeah. speaker-1: I did? speaker-4: That one. speaker-1: ⁓ no, that was an amazing place. We ate places. speaker-4: Which speaker-3: Great places too. speaker-1: Yeah, the long-born tavern outside of Waco. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Not a dance place. speaker-3: Not a dance, it's okay. I looked at it and thought, that's odd. So I think that it doesn't matter what our birth order was. I think that the best part is that we've all become friends as we've gotten older. We were friends-ish. They stopped the distance or time between when we were born, but as we've gotten older, we've all become friends. And I think that's probably the neatest part. of our relationships, first order or not, is just the time we get to spend together and how we enjoy it. speaker-1: I am speaker-2: I think that I missed out on, know, because of the age gap, we'd definitely not say I was friends with Cheryl or Susan in our childhood because Susan was out the door when I was 11 and married when I was 14. And so you're not going to hang as an 18 year old with an 11 year old. And You know, Cheryl was very busy and active with her friends and sports and stuff. And there again, that age gap had a lot to do with that. But I think as adults, I consider y'all among my best friends. And Stacey and I were friends because there was a two-year gap and that made a big difference. But the friendships that have developed over the years are precious to me. speaker-4: Stacey, you didn't let that age gap bother you when you were in second grade. You tried to be a boyfriend and girlfriend with Steve Smith when he was a sophomore in high school. We were talking about that the other day. speaker-1: Yeah. That's a typical baby. speaker-2: Next episode, Cheryl will be delving into family memories for episode four. Until then, life's messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-1: Alright. speaker-4: Share. speaker-3: Subscribe speaker-2: Bye! speaker-0: I speaker-3: Cheryl, did you? speaker-4: You skipped a couple of questions. ⁓ speaker-3: ⁓ my god. trying to. I want it to be. speaker-2: You're skipping because off the cuff, did you feel? speaker-4: ⁓ overla- Was that Ms. Yacht? speaker-2: Miss Scouts. ⁓ speaker-1: I'm just impressed that y'all can remember that. That was amazing. speaker-4: That must be Susan's teacher because I didn't have Ms. Schmelz. speaker-1: If I did, I don't remember her. speaker-4: Yeah. speaker-3: Hey, Shelly, what am I supposed to say? I thought I had it written down and I don't. Let's see. This Cheryl will lead us through family memories. And until then, life is messy. Meaning. speaker-2: Meaningful and better when shared. for listening. Do it again. ⁓ gosh. Meaningful and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-0: Thanks speaker-3: Did I lose you? speaker-1: No? speaker-2: No, life's messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-4: Stacey, just look at the camera. Just look at us. Shelly can say it. speaker-3: I don't hear it. speaker-1: Thanks you. ⁓ speaker-2: Okay, I'll wrap it up. Stace. speaker-4: See. speaker-2: Okay, okay, sure. speaker-4: Look out. speaker-2: Next episode Cheryl will be delving into family memories for episode four. Until then, life's messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-1: Bye. Like, lie? speaker-4: Share your comments. speaker-2: Subscribe! speaker-0: you speaker-3: Do we want me to do it over? Yeah, I don't know what happened. I lost it. Okay, what am I saying? speaker-2: You're telling about Cheryl hosting the next Family Memories episode 4 and then life's messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-3: And then you go comment. Life's messy but better when shared. speaker-2: It starts with light. Lines best meaningful and better when shared. ⁓ Better when and and better when shared. speaker-1: But speaker-3: Okay, and remember, life is messy and memorable and better when shared. speaker-2: And it's life's messy, meaningful, and better when shared. Thanks for listening. speaker-1: Share? speaker-2: You're lo- speaker-1: I speaker-4: Share. speaker-3: Subscribe! speaker-2: Bye!