Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / Why do narcissists discard you at the worst possible times
Transcript
- 0:00What is going on? Beautiful people.
- 0:02People. What is going on, beautiful
- 0:06people? Welcome to another episode of
- 0:07The Narcissist Code. I'm your favorite selfaware
- 0:10narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock, better known as mental illness
- 0:13across all social media platforms.
- 0:14This is the first time I hear my see my face or hear my voice.
- 0:17I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and they use my
- 0:20platform on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get
- 0:23more people in the therapy and also validate the victims,
- 0:25survivors and thrivers. You said disorder, said toxic
- 0:28people said toxic rates. Today's episode is going to be
- 0:31about why do narcissists discard you at the worst possible times,
- 0:37like when you're sick or somebody passes away or some
- 0:42type like you better go on a trip when y'all got a vacation,
- 0:45like y'all, something happens, something bad happens and they
- 0:49discard you. So before we hop into today's
- 0:51episode, y'all. Check out the Self Love brand.
- 0:55The link is in my comments of every The link is in the
- 0:56description of every single video and podcast I do.
- 0:59This is it in the new I'm worthy shirt.
- 1:01I'm worthy. I love me I'm worthy.
- 1:04This is helps you build rebuild that self love.
- 1:06Y'all just help you know where you are.
- 1:07I'm worthy. Today, but yeah, y'all some
- 1:12narcissistic people, toxic ass people will absolutely discard
- 1:16you at the worst possible time. When you are sick, when you are
- 1:21in need of something, when you are hurting, when you are ready
- 1:24to depend on them and you like you, like you break your leg and
- 1:27they have to take care of you, They'll get rid of you.
- 1:30It is hurtful, is the most, is some of the the most evil.
- 1:35Things that a narcissistic person can do is to discard you
- 1:39when you need them. But why though?
- 1:42Why? I know people going to be like,
- 1:44well, it's just not the simplistic, the most simplistic
- 1:47way of putting it. Y'all is not about them.
- 1:49Yeah, the attention and the focus is off of them.
- 1:52Yeah, this could be one of the reasons why you getting all the
- 1:55attention. Because you're sick or you're
- 1:56hurt or somebody in your family has passed away.
- 2:00The dog has passed away. You like y'all it's the worst
- 2:02possible time. Like y'all about to go on.
- 2:04Like imagine the worst possible time and then narcissist could
- 2:07discourage you. Horrible timing.
- 2:10Like, hey, look, I can't wait to get to Hawaii.
- 2:12I'm so stressed. Look, we're not going to Hawaii,
- 2:16babe. I'm leaving you for somebody
- 2:17else. They will do that.
- 2:19Y'all why though. Like I said, simplistically it
- 2:22could be like, oh it's just not about me.
- 2:23So I need, I need the attention on me.
- 2:25When you are suffering, when you need help the most, they might
- 2:28discard you. I've heard so many people just
- 2:30like I got diagnosed with cancer and the narcissist discarded me.
- 2:32I've heard that before. It is horrible.
- 2:35Yeah, one of the reasons could be that that the attention is
- 2:37not on them. But yeah, also also it could be
- 2:42they just some of them are just horrible ass people.
- 2:45Some nurses are just horribly evil people, and when you need
- 2:48them the most, they will abandon you.
- 2:49Because now it's about them. Now the focus is on them.
- 2:53Now I am now. I don't have to take care of
- 2:56you. I don't have to be there for
- 2:57you. I'm so selfish in my mindset.
- 2:59That person is that you're dealing with, the person who
- 3:01discarded you when you're sick. You need them.
- 3:03Your kids are sick and need them.
- 3:05The person that your mom is sick and you need them.
- 3:07Whatever is going on in your life.
- 3:09You, you. Financial ruin.
- 3:10Whatever it is going on. You need them.
- 3:12They abandon you because now it's on me.
- 3:14Now I don't have to focus on you.
- 3:16I don't have enough emotional energy to go around.
- 3:18So I don't. I don't have to focus on you
- 3:20right now. I get to focus on me.
- 3:22I get to. It's all about me.
- 3:23Me, me, me, me, me. Now it's on me.
- 3:26I don't have to. I don't have the emotional
- 3:28energy or strict to take care of you.
- 3:30Bye. I don't want to take care of
- 3:33you. I don't care about you.
- 3:34Bye. This is mindset of some
- 3:36narcissistic people. Y'all this is what because they
- 3:39leave you at this moment of vulnerability, you are super
- 3:41vulnerable. You are apt to take them back.
- 3:43I tell you when you take them back, when they abandoned you,
- 3:46when you need them the most and you take them back, they'll just
- 3:50do it again. They will just do it again.
- 3:53You can't do when once they once they prove that you can't depend
- 3:56on them, you you can't y'all. I know it's easier said than
- 4:00done and I'm not trying to chastise you to hurt your
- 4:03feelings and make it seem like the do no victim blaming type of
- 4:05stuff, but you can't depend on somebody that's going to abandon
- 4:09you at your time of need. They are so selfish minded, so
- 4:12just so self deluded, so self consumed that I can't take care
- 4:15of you. You will take care of them and
- 4:18the crazy. The crazy thing about this is
- 4:19you will drop everything in your life.
- 4:21You will change your entire life up to take care of this person.
- 4:23You will. You will center them in your
- 4:26life where they can't even put you on that.
- 4:28You will center them in your life where they can't even put
- 4:30you on their map. So many people will You will
- 4:34center them. You'll take care of them.
- 4:35You'll love them, you'll cherish them, and then they'll abandon
- 4:38you. There's no equity there.
- 4:40There's no equality there. There's no reciprocation of
- 4:42love, care and affection in these relationship dynamics
- 4:44show. So once they abandon you, when
- 4:47you're time of need and you heal up and you survive this, don't
- 4:50take them back. When they come begging.
- 4:51Now you healed up and now you healed up and safe and strong.
- 4:54Don't let them come back into your life and ruin your shit,
- 4:57man. So many people.
- 4:58Let them. It's our cousin.
- 5:01Don't let them come back into your space.
- 5:02Y'all. Do not let them come back into
- 5:05your space. Because they will and they will
- 5:07tear your life apart and they do not care.
- 5:09At the end of the day, they don't care.
- 5:13The only thing they can care about, how you can't serve me, I
- 5:15can't get, I can't get, I can't get the supply from you that I
- 5:19normally get. So I got to go find it
- 5:22elsewhere. That's one of the main reasons
- 5:23too. Y'all whatever supply that
- 5:24they're getting from you has run out or they can no longer get it
- 5:27from you while you're sick or hurting or in need.
- 5:30Your your emotional disconnect you, you're emotionally
- 5:33disconnected from them because one of your parents has passed
- 5:35away. Something that's going on that
- 5:36you can't dedicate time, effort, energy, cheeks, sex, whatever to
- 5:40them and they discard you. The supply has ran low.
- 5:43I need another former. I need another former supply.
- 5:46I need to go out here and find somebody else to supply me to
- 5:49fulfill my needs, because you can't do it right now.
- 5:51You are sick. You are hurt, you're injured,
- 5:54whatever the question is you mean.
- 5:57And a lot of people found this out during COVID.
- 5:59A lot of people found this out firsthand during COVID.
- 6:03When the toxic, narcissistic person that you were with
- 6:05decided to up and leave you or cheat on you or get rid of you
- 6:08while you were sick, you got COVID.
- 6:10Bye. Two weeks You quarantined it by
- 6:14yourself. Bye.
- 6:16Y'all both got COVID. You gave it to me.
- 6:18I'm leaving you anyway. But they will expect you to drop
- 6:22everything in your life. Give up opportunities in your
- 6:25life to give up progress and success in your life.
- 6:27They will expect you to drop everything.
- 6:30Right now to take care of them, but they won't do the same thing
- 6:33for you. If you're in a relationship
- 6:34right now where you would drop everything for them and they
- 6:36will not drop anything for you. You need to get out of their
- 6:38relationship by that. Miguel and I don't always tell
- 6:40people to leave. But if you would drop and stop
- 6:42your life on a dime for this person and they would run
- 6:45through A and they won't do it the same thing for you.
- 6:47Yo, what are we doing? What are you doing?
- 6:51Look at it's time to take a look in the mirror like I'm looking
- 6:53at the view Finder right here. It's time to look in the mirror
- 6:55and just like what am I doing? But my trauma?
- 6:58Bonding. What about I can't this person I
- 7:00know, if I got hurt, I'm on my own.
- 7:02Yeah, you just imagine you are one catastrophe away from being
- 7:07single and solo. And without this person's help,
- 7:11you are one catastrophic incident in the way.
- 7:13One losing your job away. One breaking your leg, breaking
- 7:17your toe, getting, cutting your face, getting stitches, needing
- 7:20help. One losing your job away from
- 7:22your relationship ending. Is that real?
- 7:26What? What kind of foundation is your
- 7:27Is your relationship on? You see what I'm saying?
- 7:29So many people, so many people in America live in check.
- 7:31The check. They just One Financial 1114
- 7:35hundred $400.00 emergency away from financial ruin.
- 7:39That's how some of y'all are in your relationships.
- 7:42That's how. So many, so many, y'all in your
- 7:43relationship. You are one little incident away
- 7:46from being single or abandoned or divorced or separated or
- 7:50discarded whatever word you want to use.
- 7:52You are one little thing away. From your life becoming upended
- 7:56because this person doesn't give a damn.
- 7:57Enough about you to just to help you out, to be there for you
- 8:01through thinking. Look, they if y'all are married,
- 8:03they will say through, through, through, for better or for worse
- 8:06when they expect you to take care of them.
- 8:08But they'll discard you. I can't do it.
- 8:10I know I said that I was going to be there for you, but I can't
- 8:13do it. I don't want to be able to do
- 8:15it. And yeah, so yeah, all
- 8:16narcissists are not, you know, there are some narcissistic
- 8:19women out there as well. This is not just a man thing.
- 8:21I know people just like, you're not my narcissist man.
- 8:22No. Yeah, women can be narcissists
- 8:24as well. I've never, ever open my office
- 8:26just said, oh, we all men are narcissists.
- 8:27No, I just only mean. I've never said that.
- 8:31People. The crazy number is people think
- 8:33I'm pandering. To women, when I talk about
- 8:36mental health, which is just asinine, this blows my mind.
- 8:39Like this man is talking about mental health.
- 8:41He's pandering to women. That's an issue right there.
- 8:44If you think I'm pandering to women by talking about mental
- 8:47health issues and personality disorders, you might have some
- 8:50shit going on in your life that you need to change of an altar.
- 8:53Let's be rest. Keep it hot.
- 8:54Let's keep it realistic. Who?
- 8:57I haven't been on fire this episode of Y'all Goodness,
- 8:58great. I'm sorry.
- 8:59I apologize for this. But some of this stuff, it had
- 9:01to come out. Y'all because so many, so many
- 9:03narcissists, the people, when your supply runs out, they get
- 9:06rid of you. You can no longer serve me.
- 9:08I like you can't serve me like you used to.
- 9:11So I need to get rid of you. You see what I'm saying?
- 9:14You can't do what I need you to do.
- 9:15So it's time for you to go. Bye.
- 9:16Bye. You see that space they're
- 9:19holding for you? They they are not holding space
- 9:21for you in their life. When you get better, you get
- 9:23your job back. When you heal up, guess who
- 9:26comes to me? Come.
- 9:27Trying to sneak back into your life.
- 9:28Hey, look, I'm so sorry for. Look, I don't know what I was
- 9:30thinking when I broke up with you.
- 9:32When I when I got separated. I don't know what I was
- 9:34thinking. When you lost your mom and I I
- 9:36just couldn't help with your emotions.
- 9:38So I had to leave. Your emotions were too much of
- 9:41an inconvenience for me, and I had to leave.
- 9:42I'm so sorry. I want my family, man.
- 9:46Y'all if they abandon you in your times of need.
- 9:51One time. And they'll do it again.
- 9:54What have they shown you that? What?
- 9:55What proof have they shown you that they can change and they do
- 9:58try to come back? What proof have they shown you
- 10:00other than begging you in front of your face right now or just
- 10:02make sending you a message or just saying I'm sorry?
- 10:05Or sending you flowers? Some BS like that.
- 10:08Flowers. Hey, they sent you a flowers in
- 10:11the car and said sorry for abandoning you when you got
- 10:13sick. Sorry for abandoning my family
- 10:17when I, you know when you lost your job.
- 10:18Sorry I moved out and got a whole new family started.
- 10:21Y'all. Come on now.
- 10:21What kind of greeting card? That's a horrible ass greeting
- 10:24card. A toxic greeting card.
- 10:25Y'all horrible horrible. Way to go Y'all.
- 10:29It is just a wild mindset. But like I said, y'all.
- 10:31I'm going to wrap this episode up.
- 10:33Think y'all will tune into another episode.
- 10:34Y'all look, check out these self love brand.
- 10:36I'm worthy. This one says I'm worthy.
- 10:38I love me, I'm worthy. You've listened to this on Apple
- 10:40Music on Spotify. Hit that five stars for me.
- 10:42Subscribe to the podcast as well.
- 10:43Y'all. Like and subscribe for more and
- 10:45as always, mental illness is out peace.
- 10:48Thank you so much for being here.
- 10:49Y'all thank you for watching my video to the end.
- 10:52I'm super eternally grateful for every single one of you.
- 10:55If you haven't already, make sure that you subscribe to the
- 10:57channel so we can help reach more people, help more people
- 10:59and things like that. The Self Love brand is
- 11:02available. I love me.
- 11:04The Self Love Journal is available as well.
- 11:06Links in the description of every video I do if you haven't
- 11:09already as well. Looking to join in the channel
- 11:11memberships before behind the scenes perks, priority
- 11:14responses, the comments and things like that.
- 11:16Y'all. Thank you so much for being
- 11:17here. See you next time who knows
- 11:20better.