Latest / We Didn't Plan for This Podcast / 14. I Would Like to Speak to Whoever Is in Charge: An Official Complaint Against Adulthood

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14. I Would Like to Speak to Whoever Is in Charge: An Official Complaint Against Adulthood · We Didn't Plan for This Podcast

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: Last I checked.
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_03: I've been an adult for decades.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_03: I've noticed the service is deteriorating.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_03: The benefits are questionable, and I'd like to speak to management.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_01: Oh hi.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: Your call is very important to us.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_01: Please hold, and your call will be answered in the order in which it was received.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: You are at 4789 in the queue.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_01: Before we proceed, I need to ask a few security questions.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: First, what's the name of your first pet and your pet's maiden name along with the street that you both lived on when you were four years old?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome back to we didn't plan for this.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, I had to pass a test to drive a car, right?
• 0:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: But no one wanted to check and make sure I was qualified before I had to learn how to manage an entire household.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_03: Um, we spent how many years learning algebra?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not sure.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_03: I know my kids are still learning it.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I haven't needed to solve for X, but I could have used some more explanation on insurance deductibles.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: Or how about just any schooling in general, right?
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: Or you know, how to how to how to run a budget?
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_03: Like uh how to yeah, balance.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: Why is there no adult orientation?
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: I still think people should have to pass a test, but we haven't.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: Now we have decades of adulting experience, and I still feel like I'm an intern.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_03: I do.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_03: Uh I feel like I'm interning, like, oh, well, here we go.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_03: You know, something else happens, and now I feel like I'm that that the freshman, you know, in their first year learning everything.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_03: Starting from scratch.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: Going on the coffee runs, just remembering.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_03: I want to know who approved this curriculum.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_03: Because I can identify the mitochondria and the power as the powerhouse of the cell, but I cannot tell you why my mortgage payment just changed.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: I it's exactly how I feel.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_01: So I think today we need to file some formal complaints, but I'm not sure who to file them with.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Is it God?
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_01: Is it the universe?
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_01: Human resources, whoever approved this whole adult situation.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because I frankly am so tired of participating in adult things and not being able to use my voice.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_01: I have some concerns.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, first of all, I never signed an official document to become an adult.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_01: Never, ever, ever.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_01: Did you either?
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_01: There's no orientation, no handball.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_01: I feel like you should have to pass a test.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_01: The costs, they were not disclosed up front.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: The costs were not.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_01: And physical maintenance requirements, they're a little excessive.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 2:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm kind of tired of repairing and maintaining what is not been told how to to me how to use.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: But at this point, at this point, though, I don't even need a refund.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_01: I just need someone to acknowledge that this was not what was advertised to me.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, one day we're young and we're making all these questionable decisions.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_03: And then the next thing we know, um, I have my favorite of three favorite grocery stores.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: And you know them.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_03: And you know exactly where I'm going on what day, because I've got a plan in order not just to buy stuff from my house, but also for my adult children living elsewhere.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_03: And oh, I don't know, if I'm gonna make something for work or if I'm gonna take something to somebody else.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_04: Yep.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_03: It's it's really quite ridiculous.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_03: Talking about the insurance deductibles, here I am, like a pro having to learn all of these things, you know, being in the hospital as much as I have in this last year.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: And then, and then why, for the love of God, where do all the Tupperware, where do the plastic, where do the containers go that I have all these lids for?
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_03: I have like three bins of lids.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and we just end up, they go to the they go to the um thrift store.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, I hope somebody else has a container that fits this lid because I don't have any anymore.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_01: No, not only that, but my socks.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: So like I have a really big issue with like not matching socks, so I have to have my socks match.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I can't, my I don't know what happens to the pears when they go into the washing machine of the dryer and then they come out and they're missing.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, how is this?
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_03: The sock gnomes, yeah.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_03: The sock gnomes have have stolen it.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_03: Or the borrowers.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_03: There used to be this book series that we read as kids called The Borrowers, and it was all about these, these little tiny creature people things that lived in the walls and stole your stuff, you know, and that's where it would all end up.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_03: And so their whole existence is like that's terrifying home, and like they made, you know, little house structures out of your stuff, and then socks that that's a whole awning for the patio.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, that's kind of yeah.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: So basically, you've got frogging inside your house with little miniature people.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: I that's what this the whole there was a whole I think there were like three or four books in the series.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, that's terrifying.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like people in the walls, no thank you.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but still the sock thing and all of these things that we had no idea that we would have to make decisions on or that we would have to do when we were younger.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know, and apparently we're supposed to know what we're doing by now.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's the funniest.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_01: So we're putting it in some ways, yes, in other ways, no, not at all.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_01: I have no idea what I'm doing.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: Um, so today I thought we would file official complaints against adulthood.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, we'll review each complaint and we'll determine whether it warrants escalation, a refund, a replacement, or we get to speak directly to management.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna start off.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Mm-hmm.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_01: So this has been uh the bane of my existence for years.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: The subscriptions and the fees, they're out of control.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: At what point did everything become a monthly payment?
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_01: I pay for that cricket machine, I pay for Hulu, I pay for a printer, I pay for a vacuum cleaner, I pay for a fitness device.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_01: All of these Buzz Sprout.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: Buzz Sprout, yes.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_01: Literally to do this.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: All of it.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, everything.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, everything.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: And and where Pilates Anytime.
• 6:25
  SPEAKER_01: Pilates Anytime.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_01: That's one of my most expensive subscriptions, which unfortunately, unless they want to give me a free one, it ain't coming back next year.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm gonna have to just like figure shit out on my own, like I've been doing.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: But why do I have to have a subscription for my printer?
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_01: My printer has to have a subscription to know when it's ink is ready, when it's paper is ready to be ordered.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_01: That is insane to me.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: That's ridiculous.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's insane.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_01: And so, and why can't I so frustrating?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: Why can't I have one streaming service or just give me one big TV guide or like one big Google search?
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, here's where you can watch it right now.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: You want the cable box.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_01: I want, I want consistency.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_01: I don't want television that requires seven different streaming devices to watch one fucking show.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_01: And then why do I pay for iCloud storage?
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck is the cloud?
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: Where is it?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to know where it is, I'd like to visit it.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_01: I've been paying for it for years.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to visit my shit.
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_01: How's that?
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: I'd like to visit my shit in the cloud, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: And then, oh, this really drives me crazy.
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_01: My car has all of these really cool features to it, right?
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_01: But every single feature, I have to have a freaking fee for it.
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_01: So if I want to use the navigation, if I want Wi-Fi, if I want to subscription.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I'd like to cancel adulthood, but I'm pretty sure that there's probably a fee associated with that for early termination.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: What do you got for me?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: What's next?
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely, absolutely.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_03: I agree with all of the above.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_03: I yeah, absolutely.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it's it's the technology.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_03: I I am not anti-technology.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_03: I am a I'm a chemist, I'm a I'm I'm forward thinking, I'm science, I'm all the things.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: However, I don't need my washing machine to Bluetooth connect to me.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah, yeah.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: I just needed to wash the fucking clothes.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_03: Um and I I cannot stand the fact that you have to Bluetooth connect in order to use it, yeah, get maintenance on it, have somebody answer your question for you on it.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_03: The directions, all of those, yes, download the manual.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_03: I know it's ridiculous.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and and my washing machine is the newest example of this because I had to get a new washing machine and it's a whole thing, and it's great and it does wash clothes.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_03: However, comma every day.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_03: Why the fuck is it trying to commit like connect to me constantly?
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_03: Well it's ridiculous.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_01: It's that whole forget your device thing that that's a good thing.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_03: I know, I know, but that's just another thing to do, exactly.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not something we're talking about.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_03: No one told us this shit, you know?
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, well, no, we're definitely figuring it out.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and how how but also it's just crazy to me how certain sides of technology seem to be advancing while others are not.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, like why do you have Bluetooth all the time and you don't have Wi-Fi?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh this does not make sense to me at all, whatsoever.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what do you mean you can get data on a cell phone tower, but you can't get internet?
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_03: It it makes no sense.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_03: Where does it live?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: Where is it?
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_01: We can't see it, we don't know it.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: And why isn't it one thing by now?
• 9:45
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_03: That's also just annoying.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I don't I can't stand so the place that we work, we have to log in to with a secure password.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, so it's like a username and a password situation, but it's at least three times to get onto a desktop to do anything, and we have to ping verify.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_03: So you have to get a text on your cell phone in order to put the code in on the desktop in order to just look at your email at work.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_03: I just need to check my fucking email.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_03: I just need to know if these sessions got reinstated.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_03: That's all I need to know.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_03: Not only that.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_03: Tell me if I have what I need to do my job.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, why?
• 10:31
  SPEAKER_03: Why is this third party?
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_03: Who the hell is first of all, who the hell is breaking into where we were to look at this stuff?
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_03: No one cares that much, right?
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_03: No one, no one.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_03: And really, do we have is it really that that complicated?
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's worth my time of having to log into three different devices just to accomplish one.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_03: Well, eight little tasks.
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_01: Well, God forbid, you break your phone or you get a new phone and you forget to set the new phone up.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: You won't have your facial recognition and your PIN and your you have to reset the entire system and call IT for help.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_01: And that is an entire nightmare.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_01: But that's the way it is.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_01: Everything is like that if you don't have the right password, the number of what it Mallory was doing something the other day, and it was like, you need to have four capital letters and four underscore or undercase letters, lowercase letters.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: I know whatever the fuck requirements.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_01: Password requirements are getting ridiculous.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: And then you're still scanning my fucking face, so just use my fucking face.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: It's my face.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_03: I under, I mean, yeah.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, take the blood of my firstborns if it's really that big of a deal, you know.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_03: But no.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_03: I how about this?
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_03: Why do I have to scan a fucking QR code to park my car?
• 11:45
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: What happens when that happens?
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_03: Are you insane?
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we don't.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_03: So we're not manning, nobody's watching, nobody cares.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um you gotta do that to read a mentor.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_03: But it's also listen, it's also I was gonna say, but it's also in the spot where there's no fucking Wi-Fi.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right, exactly.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like what in the parking garage.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_03: And then it's like spinning, spinning, spinning.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody's like, come on, let's go eat.
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, hold on a minute.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: I hate that.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: I hate that so fucking much because when you go into someplace, it's like just it's first of all, you're in a fucking parking garage in most cases, or you're parking downtown with multiple big buildings.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: So there's no where it's not good signal.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: But why can't we just Bluetooth that shit then?
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: Bluetooth works.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm saying.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, how are we not?
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_03: We yeah, it this should be this should just be a whole lot better right now.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, is the problem.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Here's my here's my question, though.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: Right now we're complaining and bitching about all this stuff.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_01: What if we are both completely wrong?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like there is this like whole big hack to like how Wi-Fi and Bluetooth and all this shit that we're complaining about right now, like all these passwords, like somebody's like, oh, actually, you just have to do it this way, and then life is easier.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_03: Like that's yeah, I bet that person's 26.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: And exactly.
• 13:02
  SPEAKER_01: Whereas midborn yet.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but no, listen, for secondly, I know you already said it, but that scanning a QR code to get a menu, I turn around and walk away.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm I'm done.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_03: Nope.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: I but I'm a food person.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_03: I want the experience.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_03: I want to be served my meal.
• 13:25
  SPEAKER_03: I want to be waited on hand in foot.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_03: I want to be the guest for fuck's sake.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_03: When yeah, yeah.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_03: Why why do I have to?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna scan a QR code and then I'm gonna do my online order.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_03: What the fuck am I tipping you for?
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that has everything to do with COVID, right?
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: That's like one of those lingering things.
• 13:43
  SPEAKER_03: And so now I'm just I'm just tipping people now for nothing because I'm picking up some shit in a drive-thru and they want add the tip, add the gratuity.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: For what?
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_03: For you to do your job?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_03: No, you're hourly, which is more than what my husband and his comp padres make in most most of these situations.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely not.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not tipping you.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_03: No, not okay.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_03: Not okay.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, what else did I forget?
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: Let me see.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_03: I had some notes.
• 14:12
  SPEAKER_03: We have notes for sure.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_03: We are definitely going through our notes today.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, no, I think that was it.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to, I don't want a smart home.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_03: I want a home that minds its own business.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck right off.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_03: Just do the damn thing.
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Washing machine, wash clothes.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Vacuum dishwasher, wash the dishes.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Vacuum.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like my whole the whole robot vacuum cleaner and having to like make a plot of my like a whole architectural line out of what my house looks like so that it knows where the furniture is.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do you know what I do with that thing?
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just fucking pick it up and I move it to another room.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: I do think that the new ones um do the scanning themselves.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because I mean, well, I mean, that they should.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_03: I saw one the other day that has arms that comes out the top and goes and picks up your shoes, and then it goes and it takes your shoes, stop it, closet.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_03: I'm serious, and then it comes back and vacuums where the shoes were.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: Because they were in the way.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_01: Dude, I would love to.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_01: So that might just be an old one.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: You might just have an old one.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: I have an old one.
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_01: But that motherfucker, when I pick it up, it's like, oh no, I'm near a cliff.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: That's what it says.
• 15:19
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, no, dude.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you are.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_03: I'm about to drop you off one.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_03: You're pissing me off.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: All right.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_01: Here's number three filing of our complaints.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: The other customers are really becoming a problem too.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, some people participating in a book are clearly not qualified, just like I'm not.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm gonna I'm gonna qualify or clarify, or what is it called like when you want to do something before you say something?
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Like, um, I know that I've done some of these things before, right?
• 15:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so I'm guilty, but I'm also like, okay, let's get our shit together.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_03: You're paying attention to pay attention and everybody else.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: I have a list.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: I have a list of other customers of adulthood that are causing a big problem for me.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_01: People who FaceTime in public without headphones.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need to hear your conversation.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: People who leave a park uh oh my god, people who leave shopping carts in parking spaces to me, just like put it back where you found it.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_01: It's so fucking lazy.
• 16:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's so fucking lazy.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: And guess what?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's ridiculous.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: If you really don't want to walk all the way over there, at least move it up onto the curb so it's not near a car.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Just do that.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like I've done that before.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_01: I've like parked it on the side because it's too far to walk away, but made it so somebody could still park.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_03: It's so bad.
• 16:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: All right.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_03: Or and not damage other people's vehicles.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 16:49
  SPEAKER_01: Especially like with the with the wind in Chicago.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_01: I watched so many shopping carts just wheel across the parking lot and we're gonna go to the house.
• 16:56
  SPEAKER_01: I was gonna say the wind works the same here in Texas.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, but we're the windy city.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: Or I was the windy.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_01: I was in the windy city.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: Um, oh my god.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: People that stop walking immediately after they get off the people mover or an escalator, they just stop.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or people that are in front of the elevator and wait right in front of the elevator door to get on.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's like you know, somebody's gonna be getting off.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: So just fucking move over.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_01: Um, people who reply all, reply all.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: I can't stand a reply all.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: Unless you have something super fucking important to say, do not reply all.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_03: Um I've watched too many people end careers that way.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: True, true.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Watch, watch the reply all, dumbasses, right?
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_03: No shit.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: What the hell just happened?
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: Karen's at it again.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 17:49
  SPEAKER_03: Oh shit.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_03: Now HR's got proof.
• 17:51
  SPEAKER_03: You're in trouble.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_01: You're in trouble.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: Um people who send me texts that says like call me, but there's no context.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: That immediately freaks me out.
• 18:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's like I have news.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Because then you don't know what you don't know what you're calling.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_03: You don't know, yeah, you don't know what's going down.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_03: You're like, you're prepared for anything.
• 18:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 18:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, and then if you tell me we should get together sometime, then you actually try to get together with me.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: Um, no, I'm not gonna do that.
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, sorry.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: Um oh we have a limited bandwidth uh the phrase circle back.
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_01: Let's circle back to that, or let's put a pin in that.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's no, I'm hearing.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: I'm pretty sure that's one of Jason Bateman's ultimate peeves, and I'm pretty sure they talked about it on Spark.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: Probably they're smart.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Um, people who walk with their phone buried, with their face buried in their phones.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no, that's mine.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's yours.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_03: I fucking cannot stand it.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: Listen to me.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_03: If you're looking anywhere from other than in front of you when you are moving and you run into someone else, it is your fault.
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: It is your fault.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_03: Stop looking at me like I've offended you.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_03: I've been here the whole time.
• 18:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing you come to me.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_03: I've been here the whole time.
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_03: I watched you come forward and come up these stairs, come around this corner, whatever, and stopped thinking that you would stop.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_03: And no, you blew right into me.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: So guess what?
• 19:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this is not my fault.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: You need to look where the fuck you're going.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_01: I have a tendency when I watch when I walk through the place we work.
• 19:21
  SPEAKER_01: I literally will look, I will watch my phone, but I'm literally like looking at my phone, but looking over my phone.
• 19:28
  SPEAKER_01: So I can see everything around me, but I'm not making eye contact.
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Scan?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:33
  unknown: Yeah.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: The floor.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: And that goes for everywhere.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_03: And I'm saying, but shouldn't be looking at your phone when you're walking in the parking lot.
• 19:41
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_03: Otherwise, Denny's gonna come scrape you up off the pavement.
• 19:44
  SPEAKER_01: And that is your fault.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not the person driving.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: Nope.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't need everyone to be brilliant.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_01: Be aware.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_01: I just need them to understand that, like, you know, when you go to the grocery store and you're walking down those aisles, there are two sides.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's two directions.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like, don't park your cart in the middle.
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: Don't be on the right side when you're trying to go left.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, find the fucking aisles.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I can't really complain that much because I don't go to the grocery store anymore, but that is like adulting.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, no, that that is a other that's another one.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like, you know, for me, especially like the big place that I go with the big carts and the big things, they you they do that shit and just camp there and then look around as if all of this stuff that's stacked with uh a forklift is gonna magically change as they're standing there staring at it long enough, you know.
• 20:36
  SPEAKER_01: Or if they're staring, oh, maybe the thing I'm looking for is gonna magically appear.
• 20:40
  SPEAKER_01: All the way up there, which I'm gonna have to call customer service to have them bring the forklift over to pick up whatever's up there.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, exactly.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_03: But they're just standing around, mouths open in the middle of the aisle, and I'm like, hey, I got three more things on my list.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_03: Move.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_01: Be aware of your surroundings.
• 20:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's what we're saying.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_01: People, that's part of adulting.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: It's part of adulting.
• 21:00
  SPEAKER_01: All right, you've got number four.
• 21:01
  SPEAKER_03: But but but clearly there was no test.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_03: No, there's not people that people had to take in order to pass this skill.
• 21:08
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, because clearly it's not it's not just what are we doing in school?
• 21:12
  SPEAKER_01: What the fuck are we doing in school?
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_01: Teach them how to walk.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: Teach them how to breathe, teach them how to do math that's not algebra.
• 21:19
  SPEAKER_01: We don't need fucking algebra right now.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I need what when do I use the shit that I learned in school?
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_01: No, I mean home egg, but maybe I don't know.
• 21:33
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter.
• 21:34
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know, but that really does bring us to to number four.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, go for it.
• 21:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, for sure.
• 21:40
  SPEAKER_03: Um, the product does not match the advertising.
• 21:44
  SPEAKER_03: You remember when we were quick kids and you're like, you thought, wait.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: I when I'm an adult, I could do everything, whatever the fuck I want.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_03: I could go.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_03: I could go there.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna be you know, free, I'm gonna stay up all night, eat whatever I want, do whatever I want, I'm gonna have my Own money, nobody can say anything to me.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: I can make all the decisions.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_01: I get to choose what I want to do.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: I get to live where I want to live.
• 22:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_03: And now on the other side of it, you're like, fuck what?
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: Somebody else just make this decision.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 22:17
  SPEAKER_03: What the fuck do you want?
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Do you want you want potatoes or rice?
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: Fuck, I don't know.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_03: Just make something.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_03: Why?
• 22:23
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I have to pick everything?
• 22:24
  SPEAKER_01: Why do I have to pick everything?
• 22:26
  SPEAKER_01: And like, why is it that now it's like I feel like there's all of these consequences to everything that I'm doing?
• 22:34
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I'm realizing.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_03: That's what we've realized.
• 22:36
  SPEAKER_01: Is that here we are on the other end of it, you know?
• 22:38
  SPEAKER_03: Because you know, when you're young and stupid, you don't fucking know anything.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: And then here we are.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_03: And we're like staying up is a terrible fucking decision.
• 22:45
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: If I don't go to sleep, I hate people.
• 22:48
  SPEAKER_03: I hate my life.
• 22:49
  SPEAKER_03: And you know, yeah.
• 22:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um, people don't want to be around me.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_03: And you don't have money.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Money doesn't oh no, it doesn't just immediately get somebody else.
• 22:59
  SPEAKER_01: Correct.
• 23:00
  SPEAKER_03: You got money comes in through one side, and then and then it's being immediately distributed elsewhere.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: I'm better than a laundry.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: I just take it and shove it out the back door.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_03: In one, it's like we're like a money sieve.
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's just it.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, there's no just right through it.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: There, yeah.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 23:16
  SPEAKER_01: Nothing.
• 23:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, eating whatever we want.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_01: We thought that was.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_01: No, fuck no.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_03: Not if we want to, yeah.
• 23:22
  SPEAKER_03: Not if we want to be, you know, not if we want to live without pain.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 23:26
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's for sure.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_03: And then we're such a dork.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_03: Like that when I when I find the I've been overanalyzing.
• 23:36
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, this is the thing.
• 23:37
  SPEAKER_03: I've been overanalyzing and shopping and like bargain matching and looking at features and comparing products and watching YouTube review videos for I don't know, way too long, like over a year, because I need a vacuum.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_03: And and she's laughing at me.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm like, my other adult child leaves the house, he's moving out, he's getting a place.
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, oh shit, he needs a vacuum.
• 24:01
  SPEAKER_03: And then I'm like, in the store, I'm like, motherfucker, if I buy him a goddamn vacuum, and I haven't had a vacuum in the home, I've been borrowing, you know, I'll just borrow one from a sister when I need it, you know.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_03: Make my I'm gonna make my decision, rush, whatever.
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's like the biggest decision ever.
• 24:17
  SPEAKER_03: It is, it is.
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: Why is that?
• 24:19
  SPEAKER_03: It's a fucking vacuum.
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_03: Because I don't want to waste money.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_03: We're coming back to the sieve, okay?
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to waste money.
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_03: I want to make sure my purchase is there.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna have good, you know, all these other people are gonna have fabulous reviews and they're gonna tell me how, you know, the pitfalls to look out for this whatever investment that I've just made.
• 24:35
  SPEAKER_03: And then, and then I buy one.
• 24:37
  SPEAKER_03: I buy one based off a recommendation from another friend, a way cheaper, useful piece of equipment.
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_03: And it fucking makes my weekend.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_03: I'm like, this bitch is awesome.
• 24:51
  SPEAKER_03: Are you kidding?
• 24:52
  SPEAKER_03: Look at this, she can suck.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, what the hell?
• 24:55
  SPEAKER_03: I this corded, beautiful little uh bargain vacuum, we'll call it, I guess, because it's not in the you know price range that I was looking at originally.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_03: But holy shit balls, this thing is awesome.
• 25:07
  SPEAKER_01: But here's the funny thing is that when you were a kid, you thought you'd be like, I'm down a motorcycle, yes, hanging out.
• 25:13
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, and I do that too, but that's not the same.
• 25:16
  SPEAKER_01: No, but the vacuum cleaner, the the search and the journey, the hero's journey for the fucking vacuum cleaner.
• 25:24
  SPEAKER_01: For a fucking vacuum cleaner.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_01: A real, it's a real trial and tribulation of adulthood.
• 25:29
  SPEAKER_03: Girl, but it's I know, and then I got it, and it was and it and the red one was like$30 cheaper.
• 25:35
  SPEAKER_03: And do you have any idea how much happier that made me?
• 25:38
  SPEAKER_03: I was having a real shitty weekend.
• 25:40
  SPEAKER_03: Real shitty weekend, I'm telling you.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_03: And I got this fucking vacuum.
• 25:44
  SPEAKER_03: And it just made things.
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_03: And just because it's red, just because it's and it worked.
• 25:49
  SPEAKER_03: It's it was pretty and it worked.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_03: It's fucking and that's clearly all it takes anymore, okay?
• 25:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't need all the yeah, the staying up all right, all this other weather.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_03: No, so adulting.
• 25:59
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, nobody's gonna tell me anything, you know, whatever.
• 26:01
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
• 26:02
  SPEAKER_01: I get to make my own decisions.
• 26:03
  SPEAKER_01: Now it's like I don't want to make any decisions.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: Somebody do it for me.
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_01: Now, yeah.
• 26:07
  SPEAKER_01: I think we're to five.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready?
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: I thought you were gonna do as a child, I thought being an adult meant.
• 26:13
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, do you want me to say?
• 26:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, because I think that's really funny.
• 26:18
  SPEAKER_03: As a child, I thought being an adult meant nobody could tell me what to do.
• 26:22
  SPEAKER_03: Turns out the person telling me what to do is me.
• 26:25
  SPEAKER_03: And she's fucking exhausted.
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: She's a relentless bitch that always has something else for me to do.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_03: Always.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's us.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: We're the fuckers that are telling us if you could do this, you could do this this way, then you could do that, and then you could get twice as much done.
• 26:41
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_01: It's just nuts.
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_01: All right, here's number five.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: So these are our five complaints.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: We might have a couple more kind of sprinkled in, but the maintenance and the repair requirements are excessive, especially given that we've had no on-the-job training.
• 26:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, how is it that I could teach people how to move and feel amazing in their bodies, and yet I'll still trip over my own feet, right?
• 27:05
  SPEAKER_01: I have contacts for seeing far away.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, or up the stairs, which I've done that so many times.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: Oh my god, those slide shoes.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: I think, didn't I do that the other day?
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_01: I swear to God, I think I did.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like a fucking walking catastrophe, but yet I'm like, here, let me show you how to do the perfect squad.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_01: Or hey, I mean, and then you do.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_03: It's like I mean, yeah.
• 27:25
  SPEAKER_03: It's like the opposite if you're not paying attention.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_03: If we're moving too fast.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 27:30
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_03: Then yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 27:32
  SPEAKER_03: Or again, no one, yeah, no one's checking on us.
• 27:35
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody's checking us.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_03: No one was like, oh, you need a progress review.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't had a progress report.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: No, we haven't had a quarterly review.
• 27:41
  SPEAKER_01: We haven't had a promotion, we haven't had a bonus, an incentive program.
• 27:46
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, nothing, nothing, nothing.
• 27:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I have contacts.
• 27:50
  SPEAKER_01: I wear contacts so that I can see far away, but now I can't see up close.
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_01: So then I have to wear readers, right?
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_01: How fucking ridiculous is that?
• 27:58
  SPEAKER_01: And then when I'm wearing my glasses, like my regular glasses, without my contacts, I don't need readers.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: I just take my glasses off.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: Like somebody fix this, please.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: Like, how is this so difficult?
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: I have two prescriptions now.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 28:13
  SPEAKER_03: No, you have two.
• 28:14
  SPEAKER_03: I have one?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_03: And they're different strengths.
• 28:17
  SPEAKER_03: Like one for what we're doing right now on a laptop being, oh, I don't know, 18 inches to 24 inches from my face.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_03: That's one pair of glasses.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_03: When I go and try and look at my notes and my programming, my brilliant programming that I've come up with and written, you know, and not my notes app on my phone, that would be the two and a half I need.
• 28:39
  SPEAKER_03: I need a whole ass other pair of glasses to see what I wrote.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_03: Or I can take the phone and I can hold it way up here.
• 28:46
  SPEAKER_03: Just away from your face.
• 28:47
  SPEAKER_03: With the with the yeah, with the with the computer glasses on, and I can still see as if I was 35 and doing this without any glasses on at all.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's where we're at, okay?
• 28:59
  SPEAKER_03: This is ridiculous.
• 29:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's so ridiculous.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: Ridiculous.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: And then, okay, yes.
• 29:05
  SPEAKER_01: You taught us about periods.
• 29:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks, health ed or whatever class it was.
• 29:09
  SPEAKER_01: But menopause.
• 29:12
  SPEAKER_01: Menopause?
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: Fucking nobody taught us about that shit.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: Nobody did.
• 29:16
  SPEAKER_03: And honestly, and most a lot of um physicians aren't even educated in it.
• 29:22
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 29:23
  SPEAKER_03: So that's a problem.
• 29:24
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_03: Because of all the things that are happening in the body.
• 29:28
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 29:29
  SPEAKER_03: Again, we didn't get.
• 29:31
  SPEAKER_03: And we also didn't pass a test going from, oh, now you're here, we're gonna teach you how to have periods and become childbearing.
• 29:39
  SPEAKER_03: There was no test for that.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_03: And then and then you're through the entire childbearing years and learn how to maintain, learn how to do this, learn how to actually get you know get pregnant and give birth and learn what that does to your body structurally and your nutrition and your bone density and everything else.
• 29:54
  SPEAKER_03: And then learn how to maintain.
• 29:56
  SPEAKER_03: No, there's no test for that.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, we didn't test out of it.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 29:59
  SPEAKER_03: And then and then now you and I are both on the other side of this, so we can say that.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 30:03
  SPEAKER_03: Fucking menopause comes and kicks you right in the tit.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_03: And and what are you gonna do?
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_03: There's there's yeah, this is the dodgeball that you didn't see coming.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: Nope.
• 30:11
  SPEAKER_03: And it affects every aspect of your life and and your physical and emotional and mental well-being.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_03: Everything to the point of like And there are there's no book.
• 30:21
  SPEAKER_03: No, there's probably a lot of books.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, there's books, but there's not books that are like in school.
• 30:25
  SPEAKER_01: There's no textbooks for school.
• 30:26
  SPEAKER_03: This is what's going to happen to you.
• 30:28
  SPEAKER_03: It's like wouldn't it be?
• 30:29
  SPEAKER_03: You are 50% of the population that this is going to happen to.
• 30:32
  SPEAKER_03: Wouldn't it be great?
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_01: If like the menopause fairy just showed up instead of having like the tooth fairy.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: 100%.
• 30:38
  SPEAKER_01: We had the menopause fairy.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_03: We should have a period fairy.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_03: We should have a pregnancy fairy.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_03: We should have a miscarriage fairy.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_03: We should have everything, all of the things.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_03: She just involved it.
• 30:49
  SPEAKER_00: Land of next year.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 30:50
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, bitch.
• 30:51
  SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry.
• 30:52
  SPEAKER_03: This sucks, doesn't it?
• 30:53
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_03: It happens to every other female on the planet.
• 30:56
  SPEAKER_03: Suck it up.
• 30:57
  SPEAKER_03: You'll be okay.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um, I just want facts.
• 31:00
  SPEAKER_01: I want facts, right?
• 31:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I get it.
• 31:02
  SPEAKER_01: We're all a little different.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: But like, show me the facts.
• 31:05
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's like we work so hard to have this beautiful womanly body.
• 31:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then we get pregnant and we become the sizes of whales.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_01: And then we have to figure out how to get to that pretty little body again because that's what we think we're supposed to do.
• 31:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so then we wreck ourselves trying to get there, only to then be gifted with this lovely gift of vaginal dryness, weight gain, and shitty moods and hot flashes.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_03: Joint pain.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: Joint pain.
• 31:33
  SPEAKER_01: Joint pain, cognitive dysfunction.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 31:36
  SPEAKER_01: That's my next one.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: My next one, because I can't fucking remember everything.
• 31:39
  SPEAKER_01: I have to write it down.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: Why can I remember an entire Pilates sequence?
• 31:43
  SPEAKER_01: I can remember an entire yoga sequence, but I'll walk in the kitchen.
• 31:46
  SPEAKER_01: I won't have a fucking clue what I'm doing in there.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_01: What is why did why did I come in here?
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Why did I come in here?
• 31:51
  SPEAKER_01: How many times a day do I ask myself that question?
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: It's disgusting.
• 31:55
  SPEAKER_01: Like I and I say it out loud, which is even scarier.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but you can remember these intricate, beautiful choreographed sequences that you've written in your head, you know, for your classes.
• 32:07
  SPEAKER_03: And even when you teach, sometimes to do do like four different classes in a day.
• 32:13
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_03: You can still navigate that.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_03: But if you go running back into the office, you're like, oh shit, what'd I come in here for?
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_03: Or I forget to pee.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_01: I forget to pee.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: Where are my glasses?
• 32:25
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: You've got three on your head.
• 32:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: Five.
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_03: And that's it.
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: We, I mean, we do need to acknowledge the the niceties of and and honestly the privilege that it is to age.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: We should acknowledge that while the physical equipment definitely requires more maintenance, the software has improved considerably.
• 32:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 32:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's true.
• 32:49
  SPEAKER_03: Because I know what the fuck a really good vacuum cleaner is.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_03: Finally.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_03: Because listen, when I was oh my god, I I think I was I was 19, maybe 20.
• 33:03
  SPEAKER_03: In South Carolina, Denny and I were newly married and newly in the Air Force, and he went TDY.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_03: And I think it was the first time.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_03: That means he went on temporary duty.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_03: He went away.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_03: Bye-bye.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_03: Gotcha.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 33:14
  SPEAKER_03: This is before cell phones.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_03: Oh shit.
• 33:16
  SPEAKER_03: So he was gone.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_03: And I was alone.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_03: And in South Carolina, some guy came to my door selling vacuums.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_03: In 1999.
• 33:30
  SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
• 33:32
  SPEAKER_03: Was it 2000?
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_03: It might have been.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_03: It might have been 2000.
• 33:36
  unknown: That's okay.
• 33:37
  SPEAKER_01: It might have been 26 years old.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 33:40
  SPEAKER_03: Correct.
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_03: And let me tell you what, I did not have the money.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_03: I should not have purchased said vacuum.
• 33:49
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_03: But I fucking did.
• 33:51
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 33:52
  SPEAKER_03: I bought a thousand dollar vacuum when I was 20 years old.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_03: 20 years old.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: Wait.
• 33:57
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 33:58
  SPEAKER_03: What would be I was lonely and the guy came and he was like showing me everything.
• 34:03
  SPEAKER_03: And he's like, oh my God, your mattress is so dirty.
• 34:06
  SPEAKER_03: Look at all these dead skin cells.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_03: And I was like, oh my God, I'm mortified.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_03: My husband and I sleep here.
• 34:13
  SPEAKER_03: This is we're going to be sick.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_03: We're going to be whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever, whatever.
• 34:16
  SPEAKER_03: So I leveraged things.
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_03: I moved money and I paid it and I bought it.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 34:21
  SPEAKER_03: So I just asked.
• 34:22
  SPEAKER_03: Remember that whole young and stupid thing?
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, I just asked.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_03: It was definitely not.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_03: How much would a thousand dollar vacuum be in 2026?
• 34:30
  SPEAKER_01: That's what I needed to figure out.
• 34:31
  SPEAKER_01: Because I was like, you spent a thousand dollars on a vacuum cleaner 26 years ago.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_01: I did.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_03: I did when I was 20, and I really should not have spent that money, Adrian.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_03: We had so many other things we needed to spend money on.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_03: But I was sad and alone and that vacuum cleaner salesman came to your front door, man.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_03: He didn't.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_03: He was nice.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_03: It was a sucker.
• 34:50
  SPEAKER_03: A sucker for a minute with a vacuum.
• 34:53
  SPEAKER_03: I was so naive.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 34:54
  SPEAKER_03: And it wasn't even that good of a vacuum.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_01: No, but here it is.
• 34:57
  SPEAKER_01: A thousand dollar vacuum back then would have been an equivalent purchasing power of two thousand dollars nowadays.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: So almost a hundred percent inflation, 101% inflation because it's two thousand ten dollars and sixty-eight.
• 35:12
  SPEAKER_03: So it's exactly double.
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_03: It's exactly double.
• 35:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: So if you were gonna buy it.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_03: So if I was, yeah, that would be if a 20-year-old bought a$2,000 vacuum today.
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:21
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_03: I mean the vacuum was.
• 35:24
  SPEAKER_03: And I'll tell you what, airmen in the Air Force in 2000 did not have the kind of income but stayed such purchases.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: But there we go.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: There we go.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we go at least we made that.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, this was what we could have learned.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_03: And now we know why the vacuum purchase was such a fucking thing, and I had to get out of my head, and I couldn't oh my god, I've got to make sure I'm buying the best one for the best dollar forever, forever, forever.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_03: T T S D from fucking because I did.
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then you know what?
• 35:53
  SPEAKER_03: And then I couldn't pay my bills, and it was bad.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: You know?
• 35:56
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_03: Bad shit happened.
• 35:58
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 35:59
  SPEAKER_03: Um getting seven hours of sleep.
• 36:04
  SPEAKER_03: That is a game changer.
• 36:07
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and I know what I know because of my education and my background, but I will tell you that I did not pay attention to it the way that I should until I started wearing a whoop.
• 36:19
  SPEAKER_01: That's interesting.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because that tells you your recovery and all that.
• 36:23
  SPEAKER_01: But we're not sponsored by them yet.
• 36:25
  SPEAKER_01: No, we're not.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_03: But and your sleep, it accurately tracks sleep, deep sleep, rem, and um SWS sleep.
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_03: Um anyway.
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_03: But yeah, so you so basically you get educated on different types of sleep.
• 36:40
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_03: This is this is the knowledge that we've come with.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, here we are coming full circle to a technology thing that needs Bluetooth.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_03: When I don't correct it all the time.
• 36:49
  SPEAKER_03: And it works all the time.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_03: Even when I have no Wi-Fi, tell me how that works.
• 36:52
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_03: It uploads all my data all the time, constantly.
• 36:56
  SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah.
• 36:57
  SPEAKER_03: It is great.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_03: Um and then anybody that knows me knows Nutritious Nora.
• 37:03
  SPEAKER_03: Uh my food, food is my love language.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_03: So it's not a shocker that I have three favorite grocery stores and multiple favorite um farmers markets and co-ops in the area.
• 37:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, but that's because I know and I I know I know too much.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_03: I know the food industry and I know where our food is coming from.
• 37:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's a thing is like no we're we're again, we're not educating people on what we should be doing to sustain life.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 37:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 37:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_03: You want to live on a budget, you want to live on a normal budget.
• 37:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like this is how you shop for groceries and healthy food in an economical way.
• 37:46
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 37:47
  SPEAKER_03: Anyway, um, uh spending an entire day doing whatever I want.
• 37:52
  SPEAKER_01: There's nothing better than that.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: That is adults.
• 37:56
  SPEAKER_03: Not having well, yeah, not having to have like a social requirement or a work environment requirement or a I have to get XYZ done today, blah blah requirement.
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and what sprinkles it and makes it even better is if I'm with my family.
• 38:13
  SPEAKER_03: And I have that day, that time, that downtime.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_03: And it's not about when your family time doesn't get eaten up with the nuts and bolts of XYZ has to get done, let's do this.
• 38:24
  SPEAKER_03: Like over here, we gotta do it.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, exactly.
• 38:26
  SPEAKER_03: Let's cross this off the list.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 38:31
  SPEAKER_03: Um I definitely I well, we talked about this just recently, but I really could not give a shit any less of what strangers think of me anymore.
• 38:40
  SPEAKER_03: This is a post-cancer thing for me.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_03: Like I just uh I don't give a fuck.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you think I'm this, you think I'm that, uh whatever.
• 38:48
  SPEAKER_03: You're the one with the problem.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 38:50
  SPEAKER_03: Um I do recognize bullshit so much faster now than you did when you were younger.
• 38:59
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I was very, I was very sweet and naive and stupid and uh got taken advantage of in so many different ways and stupid things.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_03: But you know, I've learned um and I can identify that shit from like real far away.
• 39:14
  SPEAKER_03: And now I can identify it, you know, in my girl's life, in your girl's life.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, exactly.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_03: When we're talking about they're like, mm-mm, hey girl, what do you mean they said they said what?
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_03: They said they said, uh-uh.
• 39:24
  SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 39:25
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go back.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, let's go and reanalyze this just a little bit more.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_03: Um and the best part is I'm much more comfortable being absolutely fucking ridiculous.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, absolutely.
• 39:38
  SPEAKER_03: I am on a mission to have more fun and do dumb things and to be silly and to laugh and to play.
• 39:47
  SPEAKER_01: You remember, remember last year when um when we found that CPR doll?
• 39:53
  SPEAKER_01: So they absolutely had that like baby CPR doll that like they threw into the pool for like CPR training.
• 39:59
  SPEAKER_01: And so Natalie and I are walking in the you know ops area going up to the back stairs, and this you know, CPR baby doll is like draped over the side of a railing, like draining its body of all the water that was in it.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_01: All the water, yep.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_01: Natalie and I were just like looking at it like that's really dark and twisted.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: So then all of us decided to go over and lay like that baby doll on top of one of the tricep dip machines and just hang on.
• 40:25
  SPEAKER_03: Let's go hang like a just hang like dead weight, like a rag doll, and see yeah, how he looked.
• 40:31
  SPEAKER_03: That's another good one.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_03: We should do photos of that.
• 40:33
  SPEAKER_03: I know we need to do more of those things.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_03: We need that that's the fun thing.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: That's the fun thing.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_03: Well, like the shimmy, what was the damn thing?
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, your balance board.
• 40:41
  SPEAKER_03: The fit thing.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the balance board thing.
• 40:43
  SPEAKER_03: Anyways, I found a couple of these devices that were I feel like.
• 40:48
  SPEAKER_03: All right, I'm gonna look it up because it's not there.
• 40:50
  SPEAKER_03: And maybe, but or I feel like it was an infomercial.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_03: It might be anyway.
• 40:55
  SPEAKER_03: I found them at a thrift store, and the lady at the thrift store had no idea what they were, and she sold me three of them for five bucks, and I was like, This is it, ladies.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_03: I am taking this shit to work.
• 41:05
  SPEAKER_03: And we are gonna stand on these things and we're gonna boogie like you're doing it's like you you rotate your hips in a way that it makes you look like you're doing the twist.
• 41:15
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it's like a wobble board or a wobble, it's like a imbalanced board.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's called like slim fit, slim and oh slim fit.
• 41:23
  SPEAKER_01: Probably with two Ts or something like that, too, right?
• 41:25
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: Slim fit.
• 41:27
  SPEAKER_03: But I bought them, and now we are I am going to you and I are going to take those boards all over the place.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_03: You're gonna go on the floor on top of machines, all over the floor.
• 41:39
  SPEAKER_03: We'll do it outside, take it to the car, take it out.
• 41:42
  SPEAKER_03: It's gonna be everywhere.
• 41:43
  SPEAKER_03: We'll do it everywhere, yeah, and take it so that we can show people you need to have your balance is something that you use or you lose.
• 41:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 41:52
  SPEAKER_03: And um, you need it everywhere you go, not just one hundred one hour a week when you go to see your trainer or go to your class or whatever.
• 42:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, you should be using these muscles all the time.
• 42:04
  SPEAKER_03: But anyway, on a mission to be ridiculous and have more fun.
• 42:09
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 42:10
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm I'm in.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_03: Tag.
• 42:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 42:13
  SPEAKER_03: Um, it turns out I wasn't becoming boring.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_03: I was becoming extremely specific about what constitutes a good time.
• 42:20
  SPEAKER_03: And I have ruled out all the things that are not a good time.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_03: So now you can just trust me and you can come along.
• 42:27
  SPEAKER_03: Um, 20 20-year-old me wanted VIP access to the you know, hot nightclubs and all the bars.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_03: And uh 47-year-old me wants VIP access to Costco before everyone else gets there.
• 42:38
  SPEAKER_03: Which I have with the executive membership, I will have you know.
• 42:42
  SPEAKER_02: But Costco doesn't sponsor us yet.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_02: Not yet.
• 42:44
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Costco for listening.
• 42:46
  SPEAKER_02: That's right, Costco.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_03: Listen up.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_03: Um, you should understand your body better.
• 42:50
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're less interested in punishing it and more interested in keeping it strong and capable.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_03: I want the next 50 years to be of good quality.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_03: You know, we see so many people that have gone the other way that that is absolutely not what's gonna happen.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: We're not going over the hill and down it.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_03: Right, right.
• 43:15
  SPEAKER_03: We're gonna scale that bitch.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're going to hold each other up and yeah, exactly.
• 43:20
  SPEAKER_03: And shake our butts while we do it.
• 43:22
  SPEAKER_01: I don't have a mask, though.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: That's the problem.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_03: No, you don't, but we'll find it.
• 43:27
  SPEAKER_03: We got 50 years to find your ass, Adrian.
• 43:30
  SPEAKER_03: Okay, we'll figure it out.
• 43:31
  SPEAKER_00: We'll figure it out.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_00: We'll figure it out.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, I used to work out because I wanted to look good naked.
• 43:37
  SPEAKER_03: And now I work out because I want to get off the toilet independently when I'm 85.
• 43:41
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 43:42
  SPEAKER_03: I don't want to be naked on the city.
• 43:43
  SPEAKER_03: All my husband's friends to have to scoop me up off the floor anywhere.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: Right.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_03: Whether anywhere, ever.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: Ever.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_03: Ever, ever, ever.
• 43:51
  SPEAKER_03: I do not want fire department to have to fucking pick my ass up.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_01: No.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 43:56
  SPEAKER_03: No.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I mean, I do think that there's been some Surprising features and upgrades to adulting.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I wouldn't necessarily I wouldn't necessarily choose every experience that I've had, obviously.
• 44:09
  SPEAKER_01: But there are a few parts of who I've become that I really wouldn't trade.
• 44:14
  SPEAKER_01: And my favorite features and my upgrades, I would never return, even if there was a full refund.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I kind of broke it up into little categories here.
• 44:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've got friendships, right?
• 44:24
  SPEAKER_01: Especially people that you can be ridiculous with.
• 44:27
  SPEAKER_01: Curiosity.
• 44:29
  SPEAKER_01: There's still new things to try.
• 44:31
  SPEAKER_01: Always.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_01: So other upgrade upgrades of adulthood is confidence, discovering that you don't need anyone's approval, just yourself.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 44:39
  SPEAKER_01: You have freedom, the ability to change your mind.
• 44:44
  SPEAKER_01: And then from experience, we all know now that those most embarrassing moments are survivable.
• 44:51
  SPEAKER_01: You know, think about when we were younger and what we thought would happen to us because, you know, we farted in gym class and now everyone is like, oh my God, she's so disgusting, or whatever.
• 45:01
  SPEAKER_01: It's like those embarrassing moments.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_01: I didn't fart in gym class.
• 45:04
  SPEAKER_01: That was actually as disgusting.
• 45:06
  SPEAKER_01: Just kidding.
• 45:07
  SPEAKER_01: That I didn't do that.
• 45:08
  SPEAKER_01: But I did in the middle of, oh my God, what was it?
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: High school, basketball, cheerleading on the sideline.
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: All of my friends had gotten their periods.
• 45:20
  SPEAKER_01: I had not.
• 45:21
  SPEAKER_01: I felt like I was a complete fucking loser, right?
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: Because again, we think adulting is something completely different.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm like, oh my God, I need to get my period just like all my friends.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_01: And then everyone's like, you haven't gotten your period yet?
• 45:32
  SPEAKER_01: You haven't gotten your period yet?
• 45:33
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, no.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: Then one day I like walk out of football or um I walk out of the bathroom to go cheerleading practice.
• 45:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I look and I had my period, I got my period.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I was all like crazy excited about it.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I ran out onto the court to tell my cheerleading friends, I just got my period.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: And at the same time, all of the basketball players were walking out onto the court.
• 45:55
  SPEAKER_01: Of course they were.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: As I yell, I just got my period.
• 45:58
  SPEAKER_01: And all my friends are like, oh my God, that's amazing.
• 46:00
  SPEAKER_01: Nowadays I'd laugh my ass about it.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_01: Then I wanted to crawl in a hole and die.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_01: So experience does teach us something.
• 46:07
  SPEAKER_01: And humor, the ability to laugh at yourself and when everything else is going sideways.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like there's been even when Brian was dying, we found moments where we were laughing because of the idiocy of life sometimes.
• 46:22
  SPEAKER_01: Um, but I would like to recognize that whoever um invented and designed laughter, excellent feature.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_01: No subscription required.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: Five stars for me.
• 46:32
  SPEAKER_01: Anyone that wants to laugh with me, that's my favorite.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: I agree.
• 46:36
  SPEAKER_03: I'm right there with you.
• 46:38
  SPEAKER_03: That's my favorite.
• 46:39
  SPEAKER_03: No subscription required.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_03: So after reviewing these complaints, we've reached a conclusion.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_03: Adulthood is confusing.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 46:47
  SPEAKER_03: It's expensive.
• 46:49
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 46:50
  SPEAKER_03: The maintenance requirements are absurd.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 46:54
  SPEAKER_03: A customer service is fucking terrible.
• 46:57
  SPEAKER_03: For sure.
• 46:58
  SPEAKER_03: And I don't understand why I need 17 passwords to function in society.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_03: I would like a refund.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_01: Unfortunately, I've been informed that all sales are final.
• 47:08
  SPEAKER_01: There are no exchanges, and apparently we have to continue participating too.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_01: So where do we land with our official rulings?
• 47:16
  SPEAKER_03: Subscription fees demand a refund.
• 47:19
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, for sure.
• 47:20
  SPEAKER_01: For sure.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_03: They're out of control.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: They're out of control.
• 47:22
  SPEAKER_01: I'm with you.
• 47:23
  SPEAKER_03: And we have to live on a fucking budget.
• 47:25
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 47:26
  SPEAKER_03: Uh technology, escalate to management.
• 47:29
  SPEAKER_01: Fix that shit.
• 47:30
  SPEAKER_01: Figure it out.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_01: Figure it the fuck out.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: Figure it.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Figure it out.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Figure it out.
• 47:34
  SPEAKER_01: There's gotta be figure it out.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: You guys are fucking smart.
• 47:36
  SPEAKER_01: Figure it out.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_03: Yes.
• 47:38
  SPEAKER_01: Not that I can.
• 47:40
  SPEAKER_03: No, no, but other people can.
• 47:41
  SPEAKER_03: I'll teach you how to squat.
• 47:43
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_03: Other customers escalate to management.
• 47:48
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, because we can't deal with that anymore.
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_01: Or HR, I guess, can handle them too.
• 47:52
  SPEAKER_03: They should be.
• 47:53
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know why they're not in certain areas, but file complaint against them.
• 47:58
  SPEAKER_01: False advertising, demand a refund.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 48:01
  SPEAKER_01: On that, I thought I was gonna have this beautiful fucking life where I was gonna be like driving a pink car and living in a great house with all these dogs and all these kids.
• 48:11
  SPEAKER_03: You thought you were gonna be Barbie.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 48:13
  SPEAKER_03: I did.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_03: I fucking wanted that Barbie life.
• 48:15
  SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
• 48:16
  SPEAKER_03: Yep, exactly.
• 48:17
  SPEAKER_03: Yep.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_03: Um, and maintenance and repair requirements.
• 48:21
  SPEAKER_03: Uh, escalate to management.
• 48:23
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, we're done with that.
• 48:24
  SPEAKER_03: We're done with that.
• 48:25
  SPEAKER_01: Fuck.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 48:26
  SPEAKER_03: What else do we have to do?
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 48:28
  SPEAKER_01: To maintain it's too much.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I will say this there are some pretty great features to life.
• 48:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if I could, would I return the entire experience?
• 48:39
  SPEAKER_01: Probably not.
• 48:40
  SPEAKER_01: No, definitely not.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_01: I just like a few upgrades and maybe a complimentary drink while I wait.
• 48:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: That would be nice.
• 48:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, thanks for listening to another episode of We Didn't Plan for This.
• 48:53
  SPEAKER_01: And if anyone actually knows who's in charge, please give them my number.
• 48:57
  SPEAKER_01: We need to talk.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_01: I'm done.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Nora.
• 49:00
  SPEAKER_01: If you guys enjoyed this episode, you want to hear more like this, send us an email at WDPFT Podcast at gmail.com.
• 49:11
  SPEAKER_01: And our Instagram handle is Nora's Got It Perfectly.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_03: WDPFT Podcast.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 49:17
  SPEAKER_01: So rate review, subscribe.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: Let's have some fun, people.
• 49:21
  SPEAKER_01: Adulting is tough fucking work.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: So let's do it with a smile and a laugh.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: A little bit.
• 49:26
  SPEAKER_01: Absolutely.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_03: And go do do something ridiculous.
• 49:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, go do something fun.
• 49:30
  SPEAKER_01: See you guys next week.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.
• 49:32
  SPEAKER_03: Bye.