Latest / Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast / Releasing the Idenity of the Fixer & Doer

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Releasing the Idenity of the Fixer & Doer · Just Be True ~ A Soul-Led Podcast

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Hello and welcome back to Just Be True, a soul
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-led podcast. So happy to be back. I took a little
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bit of a time off, hiatus, I guess you would
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say. to restructure how this works, not only
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the podcast, but also all the material that's
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surrounding it. Because with each podcast, I
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do a newsletter that goes out with it. Many times
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I also create a meditation that goes with it
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and updates on my website. So just wanted to
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kind of reframe how all of that was doing. um
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got a plan got a new structure for everything
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so we're ready to kick off and we're also going
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to be doing seasons so exciting so um this is
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going to be officially season one episode one
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and it's going to be um eight um episodes and
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they are going to be going out every other week
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Instead of every week going forward. And then
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in between, there's going to be like a two or
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three, maybe even a four -week break in between
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seasons to recalibrate, refocus, and get the
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themes ready for season two. So super excited
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that you're back with me. And so just, you know,
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just want to reiterate that this podcast. was
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born from a deep desire to live authentically,
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to strip away the masks, the expectations, and
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the old stories and remember who we truly are.
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Each episode, we explore what it means to live
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in harmony with your soul's truth through real
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conversations, intuitive guidance, and powerful
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moments of reflection. And today, Our episode
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is releasing the identity of the fixer and the
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doer, right? It's something that many of us find
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ourselves in, is being the fixer and the doer
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for everyone and everything around us. So we're
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going to work on that. We're going to work on
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releasing the identity of the fixer, releasing
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the identity of the doer, and asking the gentle.
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Honest question, who are you when you no longer
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need to hold everything together? Who are you?
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So, many of us learned early in life that being
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needed meant being safe, that being useful meant
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being loved, and that anticipating others' needs
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meant belonging. We became the emotional glue,
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the steady one, the capable one, the one who
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figures it all out. Not because we were told
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to, but because something in us sensed that this
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is how I survive. This is how I matter. And this
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is how I stay connected. And at the time, it
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worked. It protected us. It carried us. It helped
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us navigate moments we hadn't yet had language
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for. So I want to say this, first of all, there's
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nothing wrong with the fixer and there is nothing
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wrong with the doer. These were intelligent adaptations,
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sacred survival strategies that we had developed
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over the years. But there comes a moment in our
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evolution where what once protected us begins
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to quietly limit. Many of you may be feeling
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right now a subtle fatigue, a distanced interest
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in constantly managing. And I want to slow that
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down for a moment because this isn't theoretical
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for me. I've been there. Being the one who always
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has to take care of things. Making sure the groceries
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are purchased. Making sure the bills are paid.
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Making sure the kids are ready for school. Making
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sure everything's handled. Holding the mental
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load. Holding the emotional load. Holding the
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invisible responsibilities that rarely get named.
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And I don't say this with resentment. I say it
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with honesty. Because over time, that way of
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living truly just became exhausting. Not in a
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dramatic way, not in a collapse, but a quiet,
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steady, soul, deep, tired. The kind of tired
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that doesn't mean something's wrong. The kind
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of tired that means something in you. is ready
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to soften something in you is ready to be supported
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something in you is ready to release the idea
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that you no longer have to carry it at all releasing
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the fixer doesn't mean you stop caring it doesn't
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mean you stop helping others It only means you
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stop over -functioning. So you may notice you
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don't feel pulled to solve everyone's problems.
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You don't feel energized by over -functioning.
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You don't want to carry what is no longer yours.
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And that can feel very unsettling. Because if
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you're not fixing, if you're not doing, if you're
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not holding it all together, who are you? If
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you're not the fixer, you're not the doer, you're
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not taking care of everything and making everything
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work and making everything managed, simply ask
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yourself, who am I? Here's what I've come to
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understand through my own journey. And through
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my work with Reiki, energy healing and spiritual
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channeling and connecting with my higher self
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above all, connecting with my higher self, much
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of our fixer and doer identity isn't just mental.
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It lives in our nervous system. It lives in our
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body. It lives in our energetic field. It can
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show up as hypervigilance. constant scanning,
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tight shoulders, shallow breath, and difficult
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resting without guilt. These patterns often formed
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long before we had adult consciousness. And because
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they formed early in our lives, they don't unwind
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through mindset alone. They don't unwind. through
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just thinking about it. They unwind through safety,
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through gentleness, through the body learning.
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I don't have to brace anymore. I don't have to
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be on guard. I don't have to earn my right to
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exist as my existence. is enough, and I am worthy.
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This is where spiritual and energetic work becomes
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so powerful. Not as saying something that fixes
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you, but as something that reminds you who you
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were before those roles. When I work with my
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clients through Reiki, sound healing, and intuitive
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challenge, I often witness this not as a dramatic
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release, but more as a softening, a quiet exhale,
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a moment where the system realizes, oh, I'm allowed
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to be held. From a soul perspective, you were
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never designed to be an infrastructure. You were
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never meant to be a beam that holds everything
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together. You are an expression of consciousness,
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a unique frequency, a living, breathing note
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in the larger symphony. Your value. has never
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been tied to your output. Your value is inherited
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just simply because you exist and you are worthy
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for the simple fact that you exist. This is a
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radical remembrance in a world that equates worth
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with productivity. And as you begin releasing
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the fixer and the doer identity, you may pass
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through a strange in -between space for all of
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this. You might feel less driven, less certain,
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less defined. And this doesn't mean that something
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is wrong, because an old identity is dissolving
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before the new one fully reveals itself. This
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isn't emptiness. This is spaciousness. This is
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fertile ground. This is the pause between the
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inhale and the exhale. So a question I invite
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you to gently sit with, ask yourself, who am
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I when I stop managing my worth? Not who am I
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becoming? Not what should I do next? Who am I
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right now? When nothing is required of me, who
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am I? And I want to make this very grounded for
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you. Releasing the fixer and the doer isn't something
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you figure out all at once. It becomes a practice,
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a day -to -day practice. It can look like pausing
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before offering advice, noticing the urge to
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jump in and choosing to breathe instead, letting
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someone else feel uncomfortable without rushing
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to their rescue, and asking yourself, is this
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actually mine? to carry. There's nothing wrong
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with allowing the dishes to wait, allowing emails
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to wait, allowing some things to be imperfect.
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Not as negligence, but as disconcern. This is
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what practice looks like. It's in small steps,
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it's being human and gracious with yourself,
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and it takes a daily practice. Not dramatic life
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overhauls. You're going to crash your nervous
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system if you try to do that. You may not get
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an answer in words. You may get a sensation,
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a feeling, a subtle sense of presence. But that
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presence, that quiet awareness, that's you. Not
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the roles, not the coping strategies. Not the
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identities, you. So in my own journey, I've noticed
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that I release needing to constantly do, right?
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My work has become more about being available
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rather than pushing. More about listening rather
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than managing or doing. More about allowing sessions.
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offerings and connections to arise organically
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instead of forcing that momentum. One simple
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question I've started asking my own life is,
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am I choosing this from alignment or from obligation?
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And sometimes I still choose to do that thing,
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but now I'm choosing consciously. I know if I'm
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doing it from alignment or if I'm doing it from
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obligation. I tell you what I'm not doing. I'm
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not doing it from fear. I'm not doing it for
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proving something. And I'm not doing it to fix
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something. This question alone can bring to a
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shift of an entire new pattern. This is also
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the energy behind my one -on -one sessions. Whether
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we're working with Reiki, sound healing, intuitive
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guidance, or even channeling, the intention is
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not to fix my clients. Because you're just fine.
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I'm not here to fix you. You shouldn't be here
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to fix yourself. What we're doing is we're creating
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a safe, grounded, energetic support space. where
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your system remembers how to self -regulate,
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where your soul remembers its own wisdom, and
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where your identity naturally begins to reorganize,
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not through pressure, but through permission.
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And I say to you, allow yourself that permission
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to let go of the fixer and the doer and be. Be
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in the present. Be in the moment. And be your
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own priority. If you've been feeling called to
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slow down, to soften, to come home to yourself,
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know that this is not laziness. This is actually
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intelligence. This is your soul signaling a new
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phase. A phase where effort gives way to alignment.
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We're doing gives a way to being and we're fixing
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gives a way to relating. So we're going to do
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a body, a body practice, body based practice,
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right? But I want to offer a very simple way
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of being receiving in everyday life before we
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do that. So let yourself receive in small, ordinary
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ways. Let someone hold a door for you. Let someone
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else drive. Let someone else make the decisions.
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And let yourself rest without earning it first.
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I love the part about letting someone else make
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the decisions. I think, you know, it's like I
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would go to work and I would have to make decisions
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all day there and then I would come home and
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I would have to make decisions at home. Finally,
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it got to the point where when it came to home,
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I'm like, okay, I'm not making any more decisions
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about dinner. Going forward, you're taking care
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of dinner and I'm just going to enjoy whatever
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you decide on. That decision is no longer mine
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to make and it's made my life so much happier.
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And it's taken away something off of my to -do
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list that someone else is perfectly capable of
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doing. And they do it well. And so giving that
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up helped both of us. It gave them something
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meaningful to take on and do to take care of
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the family. It took a burden off of me that I
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really just dreaded anyway. And so it was a good
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thing, right? So receiving doesn't start with
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big manifestations. It starts with allowing support
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in the mundane. This gently retrains our nervous
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system. You don't have to do everything. You
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don't have to manage everything. And just realize
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and accept that you are allowed to be supported.
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So we're going to do a small practice right now,
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one that you can take with you every day going
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forward. It's going to be very helpful, and you
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can use it not only for this, for other things
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too. So we're going to place one hand on our
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heart chakra. We're going to place the other
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hand on our sacral chakra. And when you place
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these hands on each of these chakra points, it
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allows the connection of the energy to run between
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them, to connect them. And here's the importance
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of that. Your heart chakra, located in the center
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of your chest, it represents love, compassion,
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safety, emotional openness, and connection. And
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in this practice specifically, the heart hand
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anchors gentleness, presence, and self -compassion.
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So our sacral chakra, which is our lower belly
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a few inches below the navel, it represents our
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emotional body, safety in the body, creativity,
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sensuality, receiving, fluidity, and relationships
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to pleasure and life force. So these are very
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important things. And when your hand rests on
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the lower belly, you are primarily engaging the
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sacral center. And this is especially relevant
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for releasing control, for softening, for allowing
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support and reconnecting with feelings instead
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of effort. So we're going to place one hand on
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our heart chakra. We're going to place the other
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hand on our sacral chakra. We're going to inhale
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through the nose and exhale through the mouth.
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Feel the release. Let's do that again. Inhale.
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Exhale. And silently repeat. I release the role
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of holding everything together. I allow myself
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to be supported. I am safe to soften. I take
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another deep breath in. Exhale. There's no need
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to visualize. No need to force. We're just allowing
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to sit with this. We're allowing this to resonate
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within us. I release the role of holding everything
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together. I allow myself to be supported. And
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I am safe. To soften. So you don't need to know
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who you're becoming yet. You don't need a new
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identity to replace the old one. You don't need
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a five -step program. You only need willingness.
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Willingness not to reach for control. Willingness
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to not immediately feel the space. Feel the space.
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And willingness to stay present in the unknown.
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Because something very honest lives there, something
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within. And slowly, you may begin to notice a
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clearer yes. a cleaner know, a gentler relationship
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with yourself, and a deeper trust in life. Not
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because everything is perfect, but because you're
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no longer trying to orchestrate every outcome,
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right? Be in the practice of just being. This
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is an amazing shift to be in. Being in the present.
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How amazing is that? So I hope you practice the
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heart chakra, sacral chakra and saying those
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few words, knowing that you can also use that
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for other affirmations and things in your life
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that you need to connect with and release with.
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So definitely practice. In two weeks, I'll be
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back. to be on the lookout for our episode two
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podcast. And that episode is all about when nothing
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is wrong, but everything is changing. Understanding
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the quiet internal shift after survival mode.
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Because many of us after the last several years
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have been in survival mode and we're starting
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to shift out of that. And so how does that feel
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and how are you going to maintain and manage
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that? So that's what our episode two is all about.
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If this conversation resonates, and if you feel
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like you're standing in that in -between space,
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know you're not alone. This is the terrain I
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hold space for in my work, and I would be honored
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to walk alongside of you. You can find my current
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offerings, one -on -one sessions, and upcoming
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group experiences on My website, just-be -true.com
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the link is going to be in the show
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notes, so you can definitely check them out.
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And always be gentle with yourself. You are not
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here to hold everything together. You are here
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to experience yourself. And if you feel called
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to explore this work with a deeper community,
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I have a few upcoming spaces I would love to
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share with you. I am hosting, so excited about
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this, I am hosting a soul remembering retreat
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August 28th through 30th of this year in Savannah,
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Georgia. The early bird registration is happening
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right now through May. And it's going to be a
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sacred, immersive weekend, a reflection, energy
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work, sound healing, and deep reconnection with
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yourself and so, so much more. So truly, if you're
25:41
interested, check it out. Also, I am offering
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a virtual channeling group on February 12th.
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This gathering is free with limited space available.
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You must register to receive a Zoom link. And
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both of these links are going to be in the show
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notes. So if you'd like to learn more about them
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and reserve your space, check out the show notes
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for all the links. And until next time, trust
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what's unfolding within you and simply just be
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true. And thank you so much. And I look forward
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to seeing you in two weeks.