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Narcissists are always trying to find ways to hurt you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  Today we're going to be talking about how narcissists are always
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  trying to find a new way to destroy you.
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  How narcissistic people are always trying to find a new way
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  to take you down just in case. Just in case they need to, if
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  they have to. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist, and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code where I break down all things for the
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  perspective of a diagnosed narcissist.
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  Let's get it. Welcome back folks, welcome
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  back. Yes y'all narcissistic people
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  are all around we all and we, I think we all can agree and we
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  all understand that narcissists, they always have tactics and
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  narcissistic people do hurt people.
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  Let's be real. That's why narcissists,
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  everybody out here sometimes says, little Lee, you're just
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  giving narcissists a bad name. Yeah, I'm not giving narcissists
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  a bad name. I say the word narcissist and
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  people, it sets people off because people have dealt with
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  narcissistic people. People have dealt with toxic
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  people that have tried to hurt them, that have tried to harm,
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  that have brought harm into their lives.
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  And a lot of times they bring this harm in your life from the
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  beginning of the relationship, they truly, they're already
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  thinking about how to harm you and how to get over on you and
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  how to take you down a peg if they need to.
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  And this goes on from the beginning.
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  They're already plotting from the beginning, from the very
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  first time that they meet you, they're already plotting on how
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  to hurt you later on. Now, will they follow through
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  with it? That's the issue right there,
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  right? That's the that's, that's the
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  that's kind of the crux of everything.
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  Will they follow through with this type of stuff?
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  Maybe, maybe not. But they're always going to have
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  it in their back pocket just in case they need it, just in case
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  it it becomes they they feel like it's necessary for them to
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  just kind of take off and bring you down to pay into in case you
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  get out of control, in case things don't go the way that
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  they want them to go. So this is something you have to
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  consider as well, like narcissistic people, like we are
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  very, and I know a lot of people ask me this like, so Lee, why do
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  they feel the need to hurt people?
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  We're going to tackle that right now.
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  I don't think the intent is to hurt people, right?
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  I don't think the intent is to just, I don't think the intent
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  from the beginning is to hurt you, right?
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  But they do it just in case. I don't think they said that.
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  I don't think they come into the relationship from the very
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  beginning of the relationship and try to feel like they need
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  to take you down. I feel like I don't think they
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  need to try to hurt you at first.
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  Like the thought process isn't I meet you and I need to hurt you.
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  Or they go into it just like I need to hurt people now.
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  Are there some narcissists out there that absolutely intend to
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  try to hurt other people? Yes, those are narcissistic,
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  psychopathic people. They are.
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  They are absolutely out here trying to wreak havoc, run amok,
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  hurt people, destroy people. That is true.
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  That happens. And so a lot of people are going
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  to you going, you're going to face that issue when you're
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  dealing with the manipulative narcissistic person, right?
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  Sometimes, but not all narcissists are out to hurt you.
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  We are just out here to defend ourselves, y'all?
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  We are literally out here to defend ourselves.
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  Like we, our egos are so big but also so fragile at the same time
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  that we cannot imagine going out here in the world and without
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  being without, without some type of protection, without some type
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  of shield, so to speak, without some way, shape or form that it
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  that is necessary for me to defend myself.
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  You know, just like some people, we in America, you know, the
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  Second Amendment exists, right? This is so some people have the
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  second what the Pew pews. There's a Second Amendment
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  allows you to have narcissists might have that, but we also
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  need that verbal Pew Pew, right? We also need that verbal Pew Pew
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  that, that, that psychological Pew Pew.
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  And sometimes, sometimes we might keep that, that that
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  physical Pew Pew owner that feels that physical thing on us,
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  right? Sometimes we might keep that on
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  ourselves, on our person as well, right?
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  It all just really depends on the narcissist.
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  Only toxic person that you're dealing with.
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  That's the truth right there. It really all depends on them
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  because not No2 narcissists are going to be the same.
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  No2 mentalities are going to be the same.
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  No2 narcissistic people are going to set out to have the
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  same type of way to go. They're going to hurt you,
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  right? This is why sometimes some of
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  y'all who watch this video, who watch my videos, you've dealt
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  with multiple types of narcissists that have that have
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  found different ways to hurt you right?
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  Like this, this narcissist was physically abusive.
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  The next one, they had them put a hand on you, but their words
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  cut like a knife. They they ain't laid a hand on
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  you, they ain't touched you. But their words slay the Ginsu
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  knives. Their words are those a vector
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  knife. You remember vector?
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  The vector go door to door sails back in the day.
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  Those words cut like a vector knife.
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  Seriously. So some of them, like there's
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  their weapon of choice. Some of them, you, some of them,
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  these are the weapons of choice. They use their hands and their
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  feet in the head butts and stuff like that, right?
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  But others will use their will literally use their, you know,
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  words. They'll use their status.
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  They'll use their money to abuse you.
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  They're not use their money to hurt you.
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  Not all nurses have to set out to do the same exact thing.
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  That's not the goal, right? You know that we don't have to
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  do that. We don't there's, you know, we
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  don't, we don't have to go that way.
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  But like I said in the beginning, we do this because
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  our act, because our egos are so fragile and we don't want you to
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  get away with it. We don't want to go around
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  unprotected. We don't want to go around, you
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  know, exposed, so to speak. That's like one of the big ones
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  right there. We do not want to go around and
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  be exposed because exposure sucks.
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  Let's keep yeah, let's keep it real.
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  Being exposed absolutely sucks. It does.
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  We don't want to be exposed. We want to just like I said.
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  So we need in in case you hurt us.
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  It's kind of like a just in case, y'all?
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  It's kind of a just in case thing.
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  One of the reasons we try to do this, we try to defend ourselves
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  is because it's a just in case type of dynamic.
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  Like just in case you try to hurt us, we have a way to hurt
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  you. And yes, sometimes the way you
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  hurt us might be something small, and the way we hurt you
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  is going to be something massive, something major,
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  something damn near relationship cataclysmic.
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  Like this is the relationship eclipse of relationship nuke.
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  We nuke the relationship because our feelings get hurt or we get
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  angry or we we lose control. We're out of control right now.
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  It's a relationship. It really is literally a
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  relationship Nuclear weapon and it blows up and the bomb goes
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  off and boom like boom goes the dynamite, so to speak.
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  But as you continue to grow and process things, which is
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  narcissistic person like you're going to understand it.
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  Whatever you tell them they can and will use against you.
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  I call it the Miranda rights of narcissism and that's what we're
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  going to talk about right now. Y'all the Miranda rights of
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  narcissism says state anything you say or do can and will be
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  used, used against you in a court of narcissism in this
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  relationship. Anything you say or do, anything
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  you share with me can be used against you in the court of this
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  narcissistic toxic relationship. And that's just the truth.
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  Anything that you bring up, anything that you share, any
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  type, any type of voice, anything like I'm just telling
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  you, any type of trauma, any type of secret, any type of
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  abuse you suffered in the past can and will absolutely be used
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  against you. Well, Lee, why would they do
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  that when we're just trying to care about them?
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  They care about themselves more. They care about their egos more.
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  They care about the way that they feel more.
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  So what will, Lee? Will they say these mean things
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  to us when they use our trauma against us?
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  Do they ever feel bad about doing it?
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  Yeah, some of them will feel bad.
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  Y'all, let's keep it hiding and ready.
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  Some narcissist will feel bad about the stuff that they say
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  and do to you. Right.
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  But does that mean that they're going to change their behaviors?
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  Probably not, right? Just because I feel bad doesn't
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  mean I'm going to change what I'm saying or what I'm doing.
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  Just because I'm angry or hurt or whatever the case may be
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  doesn't mean I'm going to adjust my behaviors on the fly.
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  It doesn't work that way, y'all. I wish you did.
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  I know people are going to say, well, I leave.
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  Damn it. I wish it worked that way.
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  Why can't people just be more just fucking people?
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  Just do that like I. Yeah, I ain't going to.
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  I wish I knew. Yeah, Raw.
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  I wish I knew Y'all said raw. It'd be hard to talk for me to
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  board this without y'all on a few videos.
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  But that's part of these, this kind of everlasting moving
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  dynamic with narcissistic people, they are almost always
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  going to try to avoid pain like narcissists.
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  The way our minds work, the way most people's mind works, right?
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  The way most people's minds will work is that we are trying to
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  avoid pain at all costs. What's the quickest way back to
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  pleasure or the quickest way to feel better?
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  And a lot of times as a narcissist, the quickest way to
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  feel better is to unleash on you.
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  The quickest way to feel better is to trauma dump or
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  emotionally, emotionally assault you, right?
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  That's the quickest way to feel better about something that's
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  going on negative in my life. I'm trying to avoid pain.
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  I don't like feeling this way. So because I don't like feeling
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  this way, I, I lash out, I attack, I go on a war, I go on
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  like this damn warpath damn near.
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  And it's very difficult to deal with y'all.
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  So just like is there any changing for narcissist?
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  Can they get over this league? Will they ever get over this?
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  Like will they ever stop attacking me with the stuff that
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  I've shared? Will they ever stop bringing up
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  my trauma? Will they ever stop trying to
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  find new ways to hurt me? Sometimes they won't, y'all.
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  And I know it sucks to say that. Sometimes they won't.
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  You know why? Because they're bored.
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  Yeah. When some narcissists get bored,
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  they just try to hurt you on purpose.
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  And this, yeah, there's a, there's a levy.
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  Levy. There's a level of sadism that
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  comes along with a lot of narcissistic people, right?
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  Like where we are dealing with certain situations and certain
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  dynamics that we don't want to feel hurt, we don't want to feel
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  pain. So we take it out on everybody
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  else. Like we, we, we want to hurt
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  you. We get pleasure.
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  We derive pleasure from hurting you.
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  No, I'm not the sadistic type of narcissist.
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  I just say we because I fall into that category sometimes.
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  Yeah, I used to fall into that category sometimes.
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  Well, I used to, you know, but it was more like BBDSM sadism,
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  not just like, I'm going to hurt you on purpose.
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  You got to feel, you know, it was like in, you know, in, in
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  the moment, right? You see what I'm saying?
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  In, in certain places, in areas, certain areas, it would be in
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  that space right there. Yeah.
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  But overall, y'all, I'll end it with this.
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  Narcissistic people are fragile. We are extremely fragile people.
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  We are easy to hurt. We're easy to break.
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  We're easy to take down. No matter how big in posturing
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  we may be. We are extremely easy to hurt.
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  We're extremely easy to just knock off our kick out, knock
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  off our pedestal. We are extremely easy to just
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  dismantle and destroy. That's why, like, our egos are
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  big but also fragile. A big lookout, a big, a huge a
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  pane of glass is still a pane of glass.
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  All it takes is a little, a little Pebble can take down a
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  huge pane of glass. And that's something important
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  you have to understand. A little Pebble.
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  You know, if you were to say the same thing to them that they're
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  saying to you, that would take them now, right.
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  So just be careful What, what whatever information that you're
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  sharing with people out there. Yeah.
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  Because I know it's, it's easier said than done.
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  Did not share information when you get in to know somebody, but
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  make people earn your information maybe every every
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  little more so more so of information that you share.
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  Make sure that they earned it and you, you just didn't offer
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  it up on the first date because you wanted to sound edgy or
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  funny or sweet or something like that.
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  Make sure that they earn it anyway, y'all, you made it this
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  far. Do me a favor, y'all, turn on
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  a beat or whatnot. Y'all the YouTube says 7% of my
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  says notify me. Like it's like right beside the
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  subscribe button right after you subscribe hit the little
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  notification bell it says turn on notification just notify all
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  new shorts got some in person workshops coming up.
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  always y'all as always been doing this out peace before you
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  go make sure that you hit that subscribe button if you haven't
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  already. Y'all you already here just hit
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  Y'all thank you so much for being here.
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  I'm super grateful I'm out. Peace.