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When You're Waiting for an Apology That Isn't Coming · Daily Devotions for Busy Lives

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  Bart Leger: For most of her life, Leslie Fields waited for her
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  father to say he was sorry. He had left the family when she was
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  young and dropped them into years of hardship, and he never
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  once admitted the damage he did. Every day, she waited for the
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  apology that would make it right. When she finally reconnected
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  with him as a grown woman, she got her answer. He was still
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  cold and distant. There was no remorse in him, no sign that he
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  even thought he had done anything wrong. The truth was,
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  the apology she had waited decades for was never coming,
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  and she had to decide what to do with a debt that would never be
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  paid. Welcome back to what she decided, but first,
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  welcome to Daily Devotions for Busy Lives. I'm Bart Leger. I've
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  pastored long enough now to watch what this does to a person
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  over time. You meet somebody at 40 who is waiting on an apology,
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  and you run into them again at 55, and the still hasn't come.
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  Neither has anything else. The waiting took the 15 years. I've
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  also stood at funerals for people who were still waiting
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  when they died. That's the part that hurts the most. The other
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  person never came around, And this person spent his last years
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  holding an account nobody was ever going to settle. You know
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  exactly what you're waiting for. The email. The sit-down
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  conversation where they finally say the words and admit what
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  they did. And it isn't happening. Days turn into weeks. And then
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  the months go by. You check to see whether they've reached out.
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  They haven't. And you tell yourself you've stopped
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  expecting it while you keep checking. Meanwhile, the
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  resentment grows. Part of you already knows this. You're the
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  one paying for it. They're going about their week without wants,
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  thinking about what's weighing heavily on you. Jesus said
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  something about this. And where he said it, I believe, matters
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  as much as what he said. It's in Mark 11, 25. But when you are
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  praying, first forgive anyone you're holding a grudge against,
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  so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too. Look
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  at where Jesus puts this. When you're praying. He had just
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  finished telling the disciples about moving mountains and
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  praying in faith. And then he adds this. You're standing there
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  praying, holding something against somebody. Deal with that
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  first. He attaches forgiveness to the moment you stand up to
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  pray. Whatever the other person is doing that day has no part in
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  the instruction. And notice what he leaves out. There's no
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  condition attached to it. No clause about them apologizing
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  first. Just forgive while you're standing there praying. That
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  tells you something about what this is. It's a transaction
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  between you and God about a person. And the person doesn't
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  have to be in the room or know anything about it. Which is also
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  why it's available to you today. You've been waiting on a meeting
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  that never requires two people to show up. This one requires
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  just one. So bring the whole thing to God and let him do the
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  accounting. He's got the full record, including the parts you
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  were never told about.
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  Leslie stopped waiting for her father to change and let God
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  change her instead. She started to see him differently, as a
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  broken man who had been wounded himself. One day, in a hospital
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  room, she put her hand on his shoulder, the first time she had
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  ever touched him with compassion. He never did apologize. He never
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  did apologize. He never became the father she had wanted. But
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  Leslie walked away free because she had handed the whole account
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  to God and stopped letting her father's failure cost her one
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  more day. Look at how little her father gave her. No apology. No
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  acknowledgement that he had done anything wrong at all. He never
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  became the man she needed him to be. And she walked out of that
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  room free anyway. Which tells you the freedom was never in his
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  hands to give her in the first place. And look at where it
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  started. She quit waiting for him to change and let God change
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  her instead. That was the only part of the whole situation she
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  had any say over. One thing before the challenge. Because
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  somebody listening needs to hear it. Forgiving a person doesn't
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  mean restoring the relationship. It doesn't require you to give
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  them access to you or your children. And it doesn't require
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  you to act like what happened was acceptable. You can forgive
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  a man and keep a locked door between you two at the same time.
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  And if what was done to you involved abuse, get yourself
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  safe and get help from people trained for it. Forgiveness is
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  no substitute for either one. Here's today's challenge. Do
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  what Jesus said to do in the place he said to do it. Today,
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  when you pray, before you ask God for a single thing, say the
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  person's name out loud and tell God you are releasing the debt
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  to him. You'll probably have to do it again tomorrow. Most
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  people do. Forgiveness given once tends to need renewing
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  until the wound closes over. And then, quit checking. Whatever
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  you have been doing to see whether they've reached out,
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  stop doing it this week. Father, you know the account we've been
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  holding, and you know how long we've held it. Thank you that
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  your son attached this to the prayer room, and we can go there
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  anytime. We can do it tonight without anybody else's
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  cooperation. For everybody listening who has been waiting
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  for years for words that are never coming, release them from
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  the waiting. And take the ledger out of their hands. Do the
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  settling yourself in your own way and in your own time. In
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  Jesus' name, amen. This podcast runs on the generosity of
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  listeners just like you. If Daily Devotions for Busy Lives
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  has encouraged you, would you consider supporting it with a
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  one-time gift or by becoming a monthly supporter? Every
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  contribution helps keeps these devotions coming every week. You
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  can give at dailydevotionsforbusylives.com
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  slash support. Thank you so much. Thanks for joining me on Daily
• 5:52
  Devotions for Busy Lives. Remember, Jesus attached this to
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  the moment you stand up to pray, which means you can do it today
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  without him. Hand God the account, and come back next time
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  for more encouragement to help you live grounded in God's truth.
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  Until then, God bless, and have a great day.