Latest / The Breakfast Club / Jess Fix My Mess: "I'm In Love With My Boyfriend... But He's Married"

Transcript

Jess Fix My Mess: "I'm In Love With My Boyfriend... But He's Married" · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: It's the one the most dangerous morning to you to breakfast club
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: God just hilarious. DJ Envy is off today, but it's time.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: But just fix my mess Just tell them what, Just
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: fix my messages?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Just fix my mess.
• 0:10
  Speaker 3: You can find that on the Black Effect Network under iHeart.
• 0:14
  Speaker 4: That ain't true. Ain't none of that true.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: It ain't.
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: The podcast called Carefully Reckless just said that, didn't you
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: have a segment on there called.
• 0:20
  Speaker 4: Just fix my mess? See you still hung over?
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: No, I'm not.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: I just that's not how I say it. You're not
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: gonna tell me how I said. Okay, I'm listening, all right,
• 0:26
  Speaker 3: So just fix my mess as a segment on my podcast,
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: Carefully Reckless under the Black Effect Network. Y'all, y'all can
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: catch it each and every Wednesday. Actually air today a
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: new episode came out to new episode comes out each
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: and every Wednesday. Also, will make sure y'all catch that
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: anyway you find your podcast, but mainly iHeart make sure
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: now I'm about to do just fix my mess.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I want to take some calls.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: Just does give good advice though, because she's a mother
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: and I love the way her and her baby daddy
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: brother Roome co parent with each other. And you know,
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: she got a she's an entrepreneur, she's a business woman,
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: so she does give good advice.
• 0:58
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, thank you the nicest thing you said to me online.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: But go ahead, yeap, who's on the forearad?
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, let's stop it. The first one.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: I love it.
• 1:08
  Speaker 5: Good morning, sunshine, good morning.
• 1:11
  Speaker 6: I need you to fix my mask. And I mean
• 1:13
  Speaker 6: it gets pretty messy.
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, I see her.
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: You say, how long to wait to bring in a
• 1:17
  Speaker 3: significant other to introduce to your kids?
• 1:20
  Speaker 5: Ooh yeah, and I and I'm asking that because her
• 1:24
  Speaker 5: my situation, it was a mutual friend of he and ours,
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: my baby daddy, and he chose to move her into
• 1:35
  Speaker 5: the house like immediately after I left, right and my
• 1:38
  Speaker 5: kids know her as you know, just the friend or
• 1:43
  Speaker 5: the babysitter because she used to actually.
• 1:44
  Speaker 6: Babysit our kids.
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: Oh wow.
• 1:47
  Speaker 5: And now they live together and we are trying to
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: cope it peacefully. And it bothers me when my six
• 1:55
  Speaker 5: year old would come home and say, you know, why
• 1:57
  Speaker 5: is daddy sleeping in the bed with the babysitter legend
• 2:01
  Speaker 5: and so you know, I just felt like that was
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: a little too fresh to just put in front of
• 2:06
  Speaker 5: the kids like that, especially when I mean like it
• 2:09
  Speaker 5: could be any other to be to be very honest,
• 2:12
  Speaker 5: but you could be any other bitual world, but this
• 2:14
  Speaker 5: one in particular. And then you're putting that in our
• 2:17
  Speaker 5: kid's face like it's normal. Yeah, so what is the
• 2:21
  Speaker 5: appropriate way.
• 2:22
  Speaker 3: Time to introduce Okay, well that that wouldn't even apply
• 2:26
  Speaker 3: to this situation because she was already around them. She
• 2:28
  Speaker 3: was their nanny, right, yeah, yeah, so she had already
• 2:32
  Speaker 3: known the kids. Oh my god.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: So then the question this don't even apply to you.
• 2:37
  Speaker 2: They already knew her. That the thing is just for myself.
• 2:41
  Speaker 7: Sorry, go ahead, Bay.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: No, no, no, no, no, that was Charlaine Chawlaine making noise.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: All right, what you say, James Man, Now I'm.
• 2:48
  Speaker 5: Asking for myself because I've actually been out here and
• 2:53
  Speaker 5: you know, jump back on the bandwagon a little bit
• 2:55
  Speaker 5: and started dating and like I have a little I
• 2:58
  Speaker 5: have a start lineup, and I I really like the
• 3:00
  Speaker 5: first top three, but I don't want to introduce them
• 3:04
  Speaker 5: to my kids because I don't know.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Better not introduce three niggas to your children. You better
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: not do that, damn all right, now are you past?
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: But are you fully past?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: Their father.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:15
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, we actually talked about this on your Brother and
• 3:19
  Speaker 5: Baby Daddy Talk. Okay, I don't like that nigga at all.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, oh oh okay, yeah, okay, I remember your voice,
• 3:27
  Speaker 3: all right. So, yeah, it's really nothing that you can
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: do about that. If they together, they living together, that's
• 3:31
  Speaker 3: just what it is. I know you don't like the
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: way it happened, but damn that dad is notorious for that,
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: to be honest. But it's really nothing because that look
• 3:39
  Speaker 3: like they just gonna be together and it doesn't really
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: seem like he has a lot of other women around
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: just her.
• 3:44
  Speaker 5: Right, Actually, no, they actually date other women together. Messy bro,
• 3:51
  Speaker 5: excuse me, it gets massy.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: Well, that's still like, you know, his personal life. As
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: long as the kids ain't around that, then that's a
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying person.
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: Like that's part of the reason why he and I
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: aren't together anymore, because he wanted me to be like
• 4:07
  Speaker 5: the HBI C and like, that doesn't work for me.
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: That's not the lifestyle that I'm trying to live. No,
• 4:12
  Speaker 5: he wants my ques to be accepting of that.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Well, girl, did you know who you married before you
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: married him? Because doing I did not. Yeah, so that's
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: the advice for.
• 4:23
  Speaker 6: You, slater.
• 4:24
  Speaker 5: He turned into a completely different person.
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: That's the advice for you. Pay attention to.
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: That's them starting three, so another one will end up
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: like the ex husband.
• 4:33
  Speaker 5: All right, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, I can do that.
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: I can do that.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: I love it. I love you damn all right.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: I mean that that was something appropriate going on when
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: from the beginning he ain't just start sleeping with that baby.
• 4:44
  Speaker 4: Babies, they didn't got knocked off in that house.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: You dare going right, and this is something that he
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: been doing obviously. Shana, Hello, good morning.
• 4:51
  Speaker 2: How are you, bab Good morning?
• 4:53
  Speaker 8: That's how you doing.
• 4:55
  Speaker 2: I'm good, I'm good. I'm trying to forguret. What's going
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: on with you? Your boyfriend married, but you love him?
• 4:59
  Speaker 6: Yes, girl, let me tell you so. My boyfriend he
• 5:02
  Speaker 6: probably is just a whole bunch of mess. Actually, what
• 5:05
  Speaker 6: coming out of my mouth? My boyfriend he just got
• 5:07
  Speaker 6: out in January. He did five years and that's fair.
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: I did not hold him down, so I knew he
• 5:14
  Speaker 6: came home he was gonna be looking for me. When
• 5:17
  Speaker 6: he found me, you know, he whooped me out, hurt
• 5:20
  Speaker 6: my feet and then I found out he was married,
• 5:22
  Speaker 6: like he'd been married for ninety days.
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, he was married for ninety days, so they still
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: was in May.
• 5:29
  Speaker 5: He's married right now for still and then got married and.
• 5:34
  Speaker 6: Then came looking for me and then went back to
• 5:36
  Speaker 6: his wife.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: But he knew you before he before he went to
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: go find his wife.
• 5:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well boom, there you go me.
• 5:45
  Speaker 6: After came and found me after he got married though.
• 5:48
  Speaker 2: But no, that that's but see you wasn't.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: If you was just a little bit before then you
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: would have probably been a white But now you're not.
• 5:55
  Speaker 6: Damn my wife or nobody that's going to find people
• 5:59
  Speaker 6: that wasn't even holding them out in jail.
• 6:01
  Speaker 2: Oh so you mad at the wife.
• 6:04
  Speaker 6: I'm mad at Yeah, I am mad at the wife.
• 6:06
  Speaker 4: Actually she never was.
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: You look in the mirror and be mad at yourself,
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: because girl, you were second, and you don't need to
• 6:14
  Speaker 3: be second.
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's why you got. You gotta laugh at yourself.
• 6:17
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to give you don't get a day, damn it,
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: don't be doing it. Get me donkey a damn right.
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: Girl, because this nigga is all right, and he got
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: me down down back.
• 6:28
  Speaker 4: Just said with your stupid ass.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: Lease ain't my dad time for this JJ.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: Just Fix My messundred and five five one oh five one.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: If you need any type of advice, She's not an
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: expert than anything, but she asked some experiences.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: I bet. Look, but I'm getting the most calls that
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: y'all ever got in the history.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: Of shut with the Breakfast Club, one of the most
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: dangerous morning show to Breakfast Club CHARLAMAGNEA God, Just Hilarious
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: DJ Envy is off today. We're in the middle of
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: Just Fix My Mess. That is where Just Hilarious gives
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: you advice on all things.
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: Look what you got over that? Who you got?
• 7:00
  Speaker 2: Oh? Line eight? Line eight? I want to see what's
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: going on? This is this is good. Hello, Hey, what's up? Hi?
• 7:07
  Speaker 6: How you doing?
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: Rick?
• 7:08
  Speaker 7: I'm good. I love y'all. Bet to the Lack Effect podcast.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: Oh thank you.
• 7:13
  Speaker 7: My question, Rick, My question is, so I lost my father,
• 7:17
  Speaker 7: then I lost my mother saw the kind of like
• 7:20
  Speaker 7: uh Dionne, Yeah, I did change. I got real snappy,
• 7:24
  Speaker 7: I got real moody.
• 7:26
  Speaker 8: Yeah.
• 7:27
  Speaker 7: And I started to like fitsiness myself from friends and
• 7:31
  Speaker 7: family members even loved ones, and like relationships and stuff
• 7:34
  Speaker 7: like that. And now I feel like I'm getting myself back,
• 7:38
  Speaker 7: But don't nobody really want me?
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Okay?
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Well curse Rick?
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well Rick first and foremost, I'm sorry. I'll give
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: you my condolences for both of your parents, but just
• 7:49
  Speaker 3: an obvious question, what the hell do they expect you
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: to do? What does anybody expect of you when you
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: lose not one but both of your parents?
• 7:55
  Speaker 7: You know, like, what the within a year less than
• 7:58
  Speaker 7: a year, I lost both.
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: Of my parents, broke both of them.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: And I'm very sorry, and I can imagine that it's
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: still hard to even talk about. But like Dion said,
• 8:06
  Speaker 3: you would think that people would notice that something is wrong,
• 8:11
  Speaker 3: see it changing you with them even knowing what's what
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: you're going through. And it's like, okay, you know what,
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: he needs some time away from everything. How can we
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: cater better to our friend until he get back?
• 8:20
  Speaker 8: Right?
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: Even if you do snaping me, brother, you ain't got
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: your parents and and you know you one of your
• 8:25
  Speaker 3: parents or your friend's parents are still here. Maybe maybe
• 8:28
  Speaker 3: they are, maybe they're not, but they're supposed to understand,
• 8:31
  Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. So that that's just the
• 8:33
  Speaker 3: advice that that's the advice if if those if you
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: have those that left you behind this, then you don't
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: need to go back.
• 8:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah, and just for you. So my baby mom, she's
• 8:45
  Speaker 7: trying to be like, you know, cool for the kids
• 8:47
  Speaker 7: and stuff like that. How did you and you get
• 8:51
  Speaker 7: to a point where y'all was cool?
• 8:53
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna do it with you for one, thanks, he said.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: So me and Rom got to the point where we
• 8:57
  Speaker 3: was cool, man, because we we got past the feelings,
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: said it was no feelings, no intimacy involved anymore.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: And Rome, it's really just my friend. We've just bonded. Uh,
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: just eight years straight.
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: No intimacy, no, nine years I'm sorry, nine years straight,
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: No intimacy, no, none of that.
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: He's just really my friend.
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, in somewhat like a therapy sister for Rome.
• 9:18
  Speaker 2: You know, I help him unload all his.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: All his trauma, you know, all his mental you know
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: it's it's I help I make it better for that
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: black man to want to be able to be vulnerable
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: and talk about what he got going on without being judged.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: And it's okay for him to cry to me.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: So that is how we that's how we move, that's
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: how we got to where we're at.
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: I'm his friend.
• 9:40
  Speaker 7: Yeah, I I feel like that's your stile me. But
• 9:42
  Speaker 7: I probably just feel like that because I want my
• 9:44
  Speaker 7: baby mom be my sofa.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you did. We're gonna take the next
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: call and get get wrong. Rick Themester of that, you
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: already got two questions.
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: Somebody say that.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: No, I don't blush, thank you. Line three, Yo, you
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: get on my nerves. Show Man the vone. What's going on?
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: How you doing?
• 10:04
  Speaker 8: I'm doing pretty good?
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: Are you sure?
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: Yeah? Please don't tell me. You're gonna say, oh, you
• 10:12
  Speaker 8: sound depressed like everybody else said.
• 10:14
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, you just sound like you want a cheeseburger.
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: You sound hungry. I don't sound depressed. Nah, okay, Well
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: tell me your problems.
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: I see it. Say you're having co parents and issues
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: with the mother of your child. What's going on?
• 10:26
  Speaker 6: All?
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 10:26
  Speaker 8: So the mother and my daughter, Like I try to
• 10:31
  Speaker 8: like co parent and keep like communication and everything open
• 10:35
  Speaker 8: with her, and like try to be there for my
• 10:39
  Speaker 8: daughter and everything all still trying to be there for
• 10:41
  Speaker 8: like the mother and my son and everything else. But
• 10:45
  Speaker 8: the problem is it's like it's like it really comes
• 10:50
  Speaker 8: down to like money. Yeah, But then at the same time,
• 10:53
  Speaker 8: it's like I also don't like when she makes like
• 10:56
  Speaker 8: decisions and things like that without like like without even
• 11:01
  Speaker 8: telling me.
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: So you want to be more included.
• 11:03
  Speaker 3: You want to be more included like cole parents, and
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: you want to come to a decision as a whole,
• 11:08
  Speaker 3: you know, when she does things without me.
• 11:09
  Speaker 8: Yeah, okay yeah, And then like at the same time,
• 11:13
  Speaker 8: like it's like when I'm like, okay, can we do
• 11:15
  Speaker 8: something together so at least our daughter can see us
• 11:18
  Speaker 8: together versus like always oh, you just go to your
• 11:22
  Speaker 8: daddy's house and oh, you just come to your FAM's house,
• 11:24
  Speaker 8: and we're always separated because like me, growing up, I
• 11:28
  Speaker 8: never really seen my father and as soon as I
• 11:31
  Speaker 8: turned eighteen went to go see my father that was
• 11:33
  Speaker 8: like the worst experience ever. So I always vowed to
• 11:36
  Speaker 8: myself I would.
• 11:37
  Speaker 7: Never do that to my kids.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, oh, that's the same time.
• 11:40
  Speaker 8: I would want my kids to see that I'm able
• 11:44
  Speaker 8: to talk to their mothers and stuff like that, get
• 11:46
  Speaker 8: around them and everything is still cool, right right. So
• 11:50
  Speaker 8: with her, it's like when it comes to like okay,
• 11:54
  Speaker 8: for example, like she might need something, and then she'll
• 11:58
  Speaker 8: go off on a tangent talking about how I take
• 12:00
  Speaker 8: care of my son more than I take care of
• 12:02
  Speaker 8: my daughter, but I paid child score for both of
• 12:04
  Speaker 8: my kids. But I paid more for my son than
• 12:07
  Speaker 8: I do for my daughter. But I see my son
• 12:10
  Speaker 8: more than I do my daughter because my son lives
• 12:12
  Speaker 8: closer than me than my daughter does.
• 12:14
  Speaker 3: Okay, And so I was, okay, So y'all got two
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: different baby mothers. Okay, so with the one the current
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: one does give you the hard problem right now? So
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: how long ago has the business y'all.
• 12:22
  Speaker 8: Broke up the start of the pandemic?
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: Oh wow?
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: Okay, So I think maybe it just sounds like two
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: different types of ways that y'all raise, because I think,
• 12:33
  Speaker 3: is she dating somebody or is she you know, y'all
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: y'all not trying to get back together and none of that, right, y'all,
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: y'all done.
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: You're just trying to find a way to cope.
• 12:41
  Speaker 8: I mean, to me, I don't mind getting back together
• 12:44
  Speaker 8: and everything else, because it was like, when the whole
• 12:46
  Speaker 8: pandemic thing happened, everybody wanted to be fly and yea
• 12:51
  Speaker 8: whatever they wanted to do, and she just went off
• 12:54
  Speaker 8: of her own tangent ended up getting with somebody else,
• 12:57
  Speaker 8: and that was pretty much that. And I was like Hey,
• 13:01
  Speaker 8: you're moving too fast because we just had a child
• 13:04
  Speaker 8: and okay that ended up being a whole situation and
• 13:07
  Speaker 8: stuff like that.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: Okay, cool, So before I get out of here because
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: we have to go. Yeah, what is not helping that
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: you're not over her either, that that's the thing too.
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: And she maybe feels like she don't want to confuse
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: the kids or confuse you and do things as a
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: family when that's not where her head is. She seems
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: like she's well past you. And so I'm sorry, but yes,
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: you do sound depressed, and I think you do need
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: to talk to somebody, and I think you should just
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: even just just work on getting joint custody of your
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: baby and just focus on the baby and less on
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: her only. Just focus on your kids and try to
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: move past the love that you have for her, because
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: it don't sound like she coming back. But I do
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: love you, and I want you if you have any
• 13:42
  Speaker 3: more other problems or anything you want to follow up
• 13:44
  Speaker 3: with me carefully, reckless, write me on that page and
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: then we can continue there.
• 13:48
  Speaker 1: But let me know your cash after almost gen you
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: some money for a chief Burger.
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: Absolutely I want you to laugh at that, because you
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: sound depressed, so you need to laugh Devon.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and I'm gonna give them a there's some information
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: from the Mentalwealth.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: Onlines dot org. Thanks Vegan, you the money, you get
• 14:06
  Speaker 4: a plant based cheat burger. Yes, we'll be.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Very big after this, I think. Is that what we're
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: supposed to say?
• 14:10
  Speaker 1: Well, actually, we got to thank you, Jess for doing
• 14:14
  Speaker 1: just it's my mess, no problem, and we have just
• 14:16
  Speaker 1: with the mess coming up, right, Yes we do. You
• 14:19
  Speaker 1: don't know what we're talking about, no, no, okay, So
• 14:22
  Speaker 1: when we come back, it's just gonna make it all
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: all the better.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: See it coming.
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: It's such a work in progress. It's the Breakfast Club.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: The Breakfast Club.