Latest / Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor / What can I do when I lack support as a carer?

Transcript

What can I do when I lack support as a carer? · Wellbeing Solutions - Ask A Counsellor

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Lacking support as a carer is more common than many people realise.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Caring can take up most of your time and energy and it can slowly shrink your circle.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Friends and family may not know how much is involved or may not know what to offer.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes the people around you are busy, live far away, or have drifted off, and when that happens, you can end up carrying a lot on your own and feeling tired or overlooked.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: And your needs matter too, not only the needs of the person you care for.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: Now many carers carry a quiet belief that they should be able to manage everything themselves, or that asking for help is a sign that they're failing or weakness.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's worth testing that thought.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: So ask yourself what you would say to a friend in the same position.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: As most of us were told, and that needing help is a very human response to a big job.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Next, you might try a solution-focused question.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_00: So on a scale zero to ten, when zero is no support and ten is all the support you need, where are you today?
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: And whatever the number is, ask what would move it up just by one point.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And it might just be one hour a week to yourself, one person who checks in, or one task someone else takes on, and starting small makes it easy to begin.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a practical way to support yourself with this might be to start by looking at your week and writing down the tasks that weigh on you most.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Then think about who could take on one of them.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: People often step in when they are asked for something specific, such as doing a shop on Thursday or sitting in with the person you care for for an hour.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: If you have never thought of yourself as a carer, it can help to start using that word, and telling your GP and your workplace that you are a carer means they can take it into account.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: You can also ask your local counsel for a carer's assessment, which looks at what would make your own life easier.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: The person you care for can ask for a needs assessment as well, and both can open the door to practical help and breaks from caring.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: You might also consider meeting other carers as well, as there are online support sessions and meetups where people share what they're going through.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And finally, it might be worth making a simple plan for what happens if you are suddenly unable to care so someone else knows what to do.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if you do notice your mood is low, your worry is constant, or your sleep has been affected or feeling really exhausted, speak to your GP and tell them that you are a carer.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: There are also talking therapies that can also help you work through how you're feeling.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_00: And there's also National Carers Helpline and your local carer services that can talk through your situation and point you to support in your area.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And you can go back to the app's resources for further support around lack of support as a carer.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: If you're thinking about harming yourself or feeling safe, then please seek urgent help by contacting your local emergency number or crisis helpline.