Latest / Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!! / Strength of Scars- Avonley Lightstone

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Strength of Scars- Avonley Lightstone · Pete Vs Anxiety!!!!!

• Pete: Welcome to another exciting episode of Pete for Exciting. Before we get into it today, guys, let's give a shout out to my partner, PsychPAL, guys. There's a link in the description if you guys want to go try it out, get a free seven day trial. And then, you know what, I was a nice guy, I talked to him, got you 20 % off if you use the name Pete for your first month's subscription. That's right, at checkout, use Pete, get 20 % off. With that being said, please welcome in the author of Strengths of the Scars, Avalon Lightstone is here. How are you doing today? Ever wish you had someone to talk to anytime, anywhere, matter what you're going through? Meet PsychPAL, your 24-7 AI companion, designed to help you process your thoughts, calm your mind, and keep you moving forward. Chat anytime during a panic attack on a restless night or just when you need to vent. Prefer talking instead of typing? Try voice journaling. PsychPAL listens, transcribes, and truly understands. You can even upload screenshots of tough conversations, and it'll help you unpack how they made you feel. PsychPAL keeps life organized, too. Avonley Lightstone: I'm good. How are you doing, Pay? Thanks for having me. peter: Show ⁓ Pete: Well, definitely. Evelyn, you guys may remember, if you have seen our good friends from Looking Through the Glass, she was actually a visitor over there first before she came and saw us, which is great. You know, it's awesome. I'm so happy. So Evelyn, why don't you tell me a little more about yourself? It can add appointments to your calendar, track your mood, and even summarize your sessions for your therapist so you'll never lose progress. Plus, built-in crisis resources are always just one click away. It's a privacy-first, constantly evolving, made to complement your professional care, not replace it. Ready to try it out? Head over to the link in this episode and use my code, Pete, at checkout to get 20 % off your first month subscription to PsychPAL. PsychPAL, because your mind deserves a companion too. Avonley Lightstone: Okay, my name is Aveline Lightstone and I am an author. Like you mentioned, ⁓ The Strength of Scars. That's just a biography of my life. Talking about a lot of the abuse that I went through and how I could overcome them and see them more as a strength so now I'm teaching other people how they can use their scars as a strength rather than becoming like a victim and staying stuck in the place that no one wants to be Pete: Mm-hmm. There we go. I think that's the one I like. We got it. We got it. Boom. Mm-hmm. Definitely. Definitely. No, agree. I use my my fear of my abandonment as a kid. I use it as a superpower. And I was like, say, because I'm a big nerd. So, you know, the ability that I like to make people feel welcome. That's how Pete for his anxiety was even even started, because that whole thing led to this meme having mental health issues that led to this whole space for people to come like yourself to come in and share the things. So, you know, I think it's really great. You know, you're writing a book about your own life. Were you worried when you started writing this book? Because I know you went through a lot. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, you know, I really didn't want to write this book in the first place just because I really enjoy having a private life and just having my story out there for the public to know more about personal information. I don't really, I didn't want that. And that wasn't like the direction I wanted to go. But, you know, I had this pressing feeling from God where he was telling me like, need to share your story. Pete: Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: It's going to help other people and I'm going to use your story as a testimony. So just like, you know, you can't really argue with him. I ⁓ just wrote it with his help and guidance. And ⁓ here I am just sharing ⁓ my personal story. ⁓ Pete: Yeah. So let's get into the story. So what would you say was the starting point of these things? I know that you had your father was a drunk and things like that too. So what would you like people to take away from this book? Like what kind of things can you give them a little taste of what's in the book for anybody who hasn't read the book yet? Obviously, we want to get them excited to come read it. So why don't you give them a little bit about what it is? know that way we get them the entice to go read it. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, so it's really about a lot of the abuse that I've gone through, a lot of abandonment and just feeling like you're completely utterly alone. Yeah, like you mentioned my dad was a drunk. I lost him at the age of three from a house fire trying to save my mother from a house fire. And so that was just a really like hard process because at the very beginning of my life, I was Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: I just had like a structured life with family. And then ⁓ later I was adopted into a family where my mother, adopted mother was abusive. And so I just kind of go through the book explaining ⁓ what I went through and how I coped and how God was there for me and how I was able to just lean in on him as my source of like strength rather than, because I'm just a kid. Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ And I didn't really have anybody to lean on or talk to and so the only person I could really lean on was him and I was able to just like explain like he knew my story he knew he knows Well, I was going through my feelings and so that's the one thing I was able to trust as well At least this person is not gonna abandon me if this person's not going to hurt me and like physical or just ⁓ words and ⁓ I just remember like a school teacher telling me like, some day school teacher and she was a school teacher telling me like I can pray to God about anything and ⁓ I really did take that seriously and that is kind of like what helps me so throughout the book you'll start seeing some of my narration of why ⁓ Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: I was thinking the way I did and why I was leaning towards, you know, just like inspiring words of advice. If you're in this situation, this is probably what you're thinking. And then just a little bit of prayer and hope for people that are going through struggles. Pete: So has religion always been a big thing for you guys? Even as kids, has it always been big in your household or was it that moment right there that defined that your strength in it from there, obviously, because you were using God to get through things because you're a kid, you don't have anybody to relate to at that time? It was religion always been big part of your life? Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, what was your first part of the question? Yeah, so ⁓ when I was in India, I ⁓ grew up ⁓ Catholic. And then when I came to America, yes, I was adopted into a religious home. So yes, religious was ⁓ such a big deal in my life. Pete: Mm-hmm. I mean, that's great though. I at first didn't really... I didn't really like religion because the way it was presented to me, okay? A lot of times you see people, they're really extremely religious people that tell you everything's bad for you. This is that, you this is that. You know what I mean? That to me is just like not what it's like now that I've delved into it myself because before I started this show, I'd met a pastor who had changed my perspective on it because the way he presented it to me... Avonley Lightstone: Mm-hmm. Pete: was way different than anybody else had. We were just having general talks about things. didn't really just start telling me anything other than just applying things to what the Bible told me things I was dealing with. And he broke it down in a way it made sense to me. And I feel like with religion, that's the biggest problem is that people see these like super advantageous kids and all these other, you know, these people, whatever you want to put it, the really super religious people is what turns a lot of people off because they're like, oh, I don't want to be like that person when you don't have to be. That's the great thing about it. You can talk to God every day however you want to. It's between you and him, the conversation. However you want to do it, however you want to practice it, it's okay. You don't have to do it like everybody else. If that works for them, that works for them. And think that's what I like about it is that I am a man of faith now. I talk to him all the time and it's helpful at times because sometimes you get lost in your own thoughts. Especially with me having anxiety, it's hard. Like I'll take a thought and start running with it sometimes, you and then I play telephone in my own head. And then when it started as comes out as something different, you know, and it's nice to have somebody to talk to that, you know, no one else has to know what you're talking about because it's just you and him at one-on-one conversation. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, exactly. And I agree with you. I feel like, because I'm not part of that religion anymore. ⁓ I definitely feel like religion does play a significant part, at least with me, I give credit in many ways because it ⁓ kind of gave me a scope of God in ⁓ so many ways. And it's almost like it planted the seed for me. And so when I was... ⁓ Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: looking more towards growth and learning, then I was able to see like it's more of a relationship ⁓ with God instead of like, hey, you need to go to church and go every Sunday and practice. You know, it's not always like that. you know, people, there's ⁓ a phase where people just hit a certain point when they could have that understanding. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: And it's really just a freedom if you want to continue to go towards religion, because some people, most people are just really comfortable having like just the title of a religion behind them. ⁓ For me, it was easier just to have a relationship with God and not, and just practice what he teaches in the Bible. And that was more comforting and healing to me. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. No, I agree 100 % with you because that's the way I am too. It's like, you know, everybody's like, oh, you got to go. No, I don't. I could do it my own way. That's a great thing. You insert anything. I'm more spiritual than anything because I understand like the principles of energy and I meditate and things like things that people don't really do a lot. Like I meditate and stuff like that all the time and, all these different things, you know, and like, you know, you. Avonley Lightstone: Mm-hmm. Pete: insert whatever you want, God or whatever spiritual thing you want to put in there. It doesn't matter. It's all the same thing basically. you're basically practicing what that that individual you've chosen to follow is, you what they're doing. You don't have to do it to the T like everyone else does. I go to church every Sunday. I don't go to church. I read the Bible. I read the Bible all the time. It doesn't mean nothing. I don't go out there and force feed it to people because that's just not how I do things. You know, I tell people I am, but I don't sit there and force it on people. And I think that's where the big mistake comes for a lot of things. is everybody tries to force people to do things. And that's what gets them turned off. It's like, eh, you know, because that's what it was for me for long time. was just like, I didn't like how it was presented to me. It's like, oh, we got to go to church. It's just not my thing, honestly. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. And it just, I don't know, to me it would provide more of like that cult mindset. I just, yeah. And I just, that's not, to me, I think like God wants a relationship, personal relationship with each person. He wants to get to know you and he wants you to feel like you want to know him. And ⁓ I just feel like a lot of religion, it's just clashy. Pete: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, exactly, exactly. I like that one. There's a good one, okay, yeah. Right? Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ clashing amongst each other that they're the true ones and it just becomes more of like a fight and argument and when the religious is supposed to be more peaceful and we need to be willing to honor ⁓ other people's beliefs at the time because you know it might not be true but for somebody it could be true at that moment of what they learn and that's okay and we need to respect where they're at and so yeah. Pete: Yeah. Exactly. Yeah, I love that. I love that. I think it's really great. I think that really is. So let's talk about the book now, okay? The book comes out. What is the response people are giving you to the book? Are people liking it? I mean, you know, you're obviously going to get some of those people who just don't like anything anyways. We're just going to discard them. We're not really worried about what they think. I'm more worried about what the people are saying to you. Have you gotten people that can relate to your story in some way? Avonley Lightstone: Okay. ⁓ absolutely. Honestly, I haven't gotten anyone that disliked it. The only person that probably disliked it was they were just more into fantasy. they were and I had to explain to him like this is an autobiography. This is completely different genre. You know, like, okay, whatever. That was the only person. But other than that, I would say a lot of people relate a lot to it because ⁓ Pete: Well, it's awesome. Okay. Yeah. Yeah. That's awesome, though. Avonley Lightstone: You know, there's actually a lot more people that are hurting and in pain and going through a lot of mental health ⁓ that has to do with generational packages. And so when they read my book, they can relate to it in certain levels. Obviously, there's some that are pretty extreme, but most everyone can pretty much relate or have an idea how it's functioning. ⁓ And I don't know, it's just really nice. I've had people Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ private message me telling me, hey, thank you so much. This is actually had happened to me by your brother, you know, and so, ⁓ so then it makes me look like I'm not like the crazy person. I was always shown like I'm the black sheep, you know, and ⁓ so just having somebody else validate that they went through the same thing in my same town. It just shows like Pete: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: appreciation and they were grateful that I'm being a voice for them because a lot of people that go through a lot of pain they just don't have their voice yet because it takes time. ⁓ takes healing. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, it's actually no, you and it's great when you find somebody you can relate to, especially you don't have to know them personally to relate to them. And that's the great thing about the book is that, know, you're getting such a great response and people are like, oh, thank you so much, because I feel the same way you do. You know, and it's almost like you're their voice for them. You're saying something and now, you know, and a lot of times in situations, that's what it is. A lot of people are waiting for one person to say something. I had a guest on he was talking about his sobriety and he said that his friends in his Fanny's Football League. Avonley Lightstone: Mm-hmm. Pete: We're all waiting for someone to say something essentially, you know, because guys, we don't talk about a lot of this stuff. So one of them mentioned something and everybody jumped in. So it's the kind of feeling I'm getting when, you know, this book came out, people reading it like, oh my God, I feel, I feel like I'm not alone anymore because this woman has been through the same thing I have, you know, or something similar or maybe to the extreme. Like you said, you know, there's extreme cases of things that that happen with, but it's great though. glad people are really liking the book. I know when we met originally, I knew the title caught my eye. was like, yeah, I like this a lot, you know, and I know we only had two minutes originally in our first meeting. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Pete: But it was great though. I saw you, like I said, I you on my friend's show and was like, I was like, and the minute you popped on, was like, I know I've seen her somewhere. I was like, wait a minute, I've just saw you. And I just saw you like the other day on Instagram, cause they were putting out the clips, you guys talking. I like, wait a minute, why does she look so familiar? You know, and now here you are. like, well, this is, this is crazy. So this is really cool though. I'm so happy though. You're getting out there, you're, know, cause I know you said originally you didn't want all the attention, but I mean. Avonley Lightstone: haha Pete: It's good attention though. You think about it like your story makes a difference and you're proving the point that even if you only touch one person's heart, you've done enough. You made someone else feel like they're not alone. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, exactly. that's a whole point is, you know, like you mentioned, a lot of people don't find their voice. And sometimes we have to have the strength from somebody else for us to feel like, oh, we're comfortable to be able to speak on this. OK, and then you are able to digest a little better to the point where you can get your own voice heard. Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: And so it's it's kind of neat. And like you said, I I don't like the attention and having to ⁓ talk about this because it's really a sad subject knowing that I'm not the only one that's gone through this. There's so many people that's gone through it. And I'm working with schools in hopes that I will start talking to children because currently children are kind of suffering. Pete: Yeah. ⁓ that's awesome. Avonley Lightstone: in so many different ways. We're just in like a totally different kind of era. ⁓ Pete: Yeah, we just had a guest on this week about the same thing she was talking about. She does somatic therapy and she said that she does a lot of work with children too. And the things that these children from born to birth actually remember is very fascinating to know. So I mean, I'm big on emotional regularity for children. So I think you talking to them now, it's great for them. You know, feel like they're not so alone because I think that, you know, with the crazy rates of just things in general, like suicides in boys 10 to 14 is going up this year. It's insane to say that, that 10 to 14 range, it's going up, you know, but what's not helping is that we have the internet, you have everything else. There's more ways to attack people than before. have all these other ways of doing things. So I think that the fact that you want to talk to them, I think it's great. I really love it. love anybody that's thinking about, let's start with the kids and get them on board. That way we can build them into a stronger people than... Avonley Lightstone: Absolutely. Pete: than our parents, you know what mean? But we can't also can't fault our parents because they only knew what they knew around what they were told at the time, you know what mean? With mental health evolving from what it was to where we're now, the 90s was a scary place to be because you couldn't mention that you were not feeling right because they would all think you're going crazy. ⁓ got to go to the mental hospital or throw a pill at it. Just start tucking pills in and it's like, we're not thinking the outcome of what these are, but at the same time, they only knew so much, you know, and it goes for any time period you think of. You know, they only knew what they knew at that time. But now what, with the way that things are going now, talk therapy, there's hypnotherapy, somatic, you know, all these different other things that people can do. It's great. And then you have somebody that they could, it feels the same way. And as in a book, you know, the reading your book, they're getting a great response. I mean, it's great that you're thinking of, know what, now I want to try and talk to some of the kids, which I think is really awesome, honestly. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, thank you. And I think with the 90s parents, I think a lot of it has to do with feeling like a little like insecurity because they don't, you know, they don't know any better. And it's kind of almost like taboo-ish. Yeah. And like, it's kind of taboo-ish, like, because you don't know a lot of people hear about it. And so when it's like completely new, you don't want your kid to be like this odd one. And you're like the odd parent. Pete: I think that's a really great point. I think that's a really great point. Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: And so like, I feel for them in many ways. But here's the thing, we learn from our past and we pick up what we could do better on. And that's kind of like where we're at. I think there's a lot more survivors that are standing up and understanding what could make things a little easier, even though it could be hard for them. But Pete: Yep. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, it's just really cool to see a lot of these survivors standing up, sharing their story and encouraging our youth and even just like you mentioned earlier, like men, they don't talk about their problems. You know, we're not, they're not meant to, like they need, they're wired to be strong and to be leaders and, but a lot of times they need that pressure relieved and it's okay to. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: be able to express your concerns so then you can lighten your load and be able to carry on the next day. Otherwise, it ends up getting so big that people, you're starting to see a big huge amount of suicide rates like you had mentioned. And we want to prevent that. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's the great the rates are insane What it was I think February someone released a meme and said like a hundred and seven thousand already and we were only that far into 2026 and it was just like It's crazy. You know, I mean, it's it's insane to think that that's what it is And then the NFL players that you young guys from the NFL that have both taken their lives the one guy from the Dallas Cowboys who was Avonley Lightstone: You're right. Pete: was dealing with lot of things with his mom and then the other one, I'm not really sure about the Minnesota Vikings player. I he did a self-reflected gunshot wound to himself, but I really don't know what his whole story was there. But you know, it's still, it's still scary to see that these guys are dealing with these things, you know, and they're all men. That's statistic is that they're all men. It's a scary part. It's like, you know, everybody says we're talking about mental health more, but are we really? Because like, are we not speaking enough? It's, it's a great debate that you're going to have to lend a time. So I mean, Avonley Lightstone: Mm-hmm. Pete: But for the book though, I was curious, when you're writing this, did you think to yourself that maybe you didn't want to continue going through it after you're reliving some of these moments? Because I know when you had to write it, you had to relive some of those moments. And I know it had to be terrifying. Did you at any point kind of think that maybe you weren't going to make it to end of the book? You were like, you know what, maybe I should stop doing this. I don't know if this is right. Avonley Lightstone: You know, that's a really great question. As I was writing this book, ⁓ I just ⁓ really just asked God like, okay, you, you know, you tell me what I need to write. And I thought I might ⁓ get like some triggers as I was writing it. And I definitely had forgotten a lot of stuff. And it's just like, as soon as I started typing things down, Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: It just purged out and I could just stay up until like three in the morning just writing. And I would say like, no, it didn't give me like any triggers. It gave me peace because I think a lot of it is I've worked on and processed what I went through. I went through forgiveness and I forgave my family and I reconciled with myself. Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: in a place that I was at peace. So when I wrote this book, it was more of peace, knowing that I was gonna help somebody else. ⁓ And ⁓ it just kind of flowed. So when it flowed, I knew like, okay, you know what? There's no attachment there. It's all just learning. Pete: Yeah. Did you find it hard for the forgiveness part? Because I know with me, it wasn't forgiveness from the other end. It was just me forgiving them for myself. You know what I'm saying? With my mom, I struggled with that a lot. The forgiveness thing, I wanted forgiveness from her, but I knew it wasn't ever going to get it. I had to think the hardest thing for me was just accepting the fact that I had to forgive it for myself versus getting it from her. Did you run into that moment at all? Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ yeah, absolutely. That was probably like I spent that for years because ⁓ because she wouldn't accept my forgiveness. I felt like ⁓ I had to keep forgiving her for me to move on until I got to that point where it's like God was like, no, you don't need to or worry about it. You give everything to me. You've done everything that you can and ⁓ I'll take care of it. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: Because when we go through forgiveness and if it's an option that you can talk to the individual, then what happens is you're opening that door for them to accept an apology and communication to make things work. But when it just remains shut, you can only do so much and you have to like look inward at yourself. You have to like tell yourself like, because I think a lot of it that I went through may be similar to what you did. Pete: Exactly. Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ just I'm the problem. I'm the one that caused my mom to be, make me, ⁓ behave this way towards me. What did I do wrong? What can I fix them with myself? So then she can finally like feel like, I guess free and peace. Cause I don't want to put that burden on her. And, ⁓ it really, I think it's, it's just more psychological we do to ourselves, the mindset and it like really tears. Pete: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: one person down thinking that they're the crazy ones. But once we recognize, hey, you know the forgiveness, like you said, is really for me. And however they receive it is up to them, but my door is gonna be open, but I'm not going to no longer engage with them because I'm done with that chapter. I gotta move on. Pete: Yeah, it was hard though to me. was like there's this wall that's endless wall that just kept coming every time I tried to get to that point where I was going to be like, all right, we're going to make it this time. And it was just just shut up. was like, yeah, yeah, the same happened in today. Never mind. We'll try again. You know, and it was the hardest thing to do, though, because it was just like you want you want forgiveness, but you're not going to get the forgiveness regardless, you know, the way you look at it, because that's just the way she was. She was never the type of person ever say. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Yum. Pete: You know, and I adapted that too for a while. Like I was the same way too for long time. I would never admit I was wrong, but I had done some self reflection this past year and it was, it was not a fun ride. It was, it sucked. Like I'll be honest, it sucked a lot. Like, know, you had to admit that you were wrong for a lot of things and look back on a horrible person I was. It was like, you know, a lot of, a lot of things I had to come overcome and a lot of demons I had to battle when I was always accepting these things because you know, you realize how terrible a person you were to most of the people around you. And you know, And essentially it wasn't totally my fault completely because I acted out of rage because I was so mad about that moment when I was 10 years old. know, I kept telling myself I didn't have a problem. Like most addicts do. Like, you don't have a problem. No, I'm fine. You know what mean? I kept denying it. Even though everyone around me kept saying, hey, you need to go with some help. Something's not right. That you get so triggered so easily. So like if I get in those moments, like I just go into complete berserk mode. I'll start like pushing people away. I'll start saying things to try and get them to leave. You know, it's the whole sense of the thing was like, I'm going to try and leave you before you can leave me. Even if that's not what they're trying to do, my brain instantly goes to fight or flight mode. And it's something I deal with a lot of times, you know, when I get in those situations, I have to like work myself down. You know, now I'm in a better place. It's so much easier to identify when it starts almost happening. I can talk myself off the ledge versus just going completely off that edge where I just go off and get angry about things, you know, and nobody around me understood that too. Like a lot of people get that's what it was triggering me for, you know. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Pete: Like they thought it was funny, but at the same time, they didn't realize how upset I was because I didn't know how to tell people, you know, like I didn't think I had a problem. So like I'm not going to go get a fix a problem. I don't think I have, you know, and then I was drinking to hide the problem and all those other kind of things. And I started doing drugs and things like, all these other things just kept hiling on. I was trying to do just to run away from the problem. And then I got linked up with a narcissist. That was not funny either. You know, like you get gaslit and, know, that whole sense that, you know, you feel like you're the crazy one. And essentially, you gaslight yourself in some ways, too, because you're telling yourself, Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Pete: that it's you, you're the problem when it really wasn't you the problem. was just what happened in the moment, you know, and things like that as well. So it's tough, though, you know, it wasn't fun. It sucked ass. I'll tell you, it really sucked. It really did. But I mean. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, I would say like it's a time when God really puts you in that fire when he's refining you. You get like those emotional roller coasters thinking, know, like, hey, because a lot of times you're looking, reflecting at yourself and you want what's best, but, you think you're the problem. Like you said, you are always being gaslighted. Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Avonley Lightstone: And it's hard. Yeah, the emotions are crazy. Pete: Yeah. Yeah, you know, then then we cup in that I have anxiety and depression and mine works like an infinite loop. So one will feed into the other. So it's really not it's really not good for me either, because when I started doing that, I'd feed into the other one. And then if I go through modes where I'm really depressed and the moments I just I'm super on edge, like I'd be super paranoid about things. And I just like, you know, people ask me, it's wrong. And I say nothing's wrong. Because you don't want to tell people that because a lot of people don't understand what you're dealing with. You tell people certain things and they just look at you like you're to lost your mind somewhere. And it was like that for a long time until I finally started going to therapy and started working through these issues I had. And when I started doing this show, I started learning a little more about myself as I go. And I started seeing different things that I didn't realize before. Like, I'm energy sensitive. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Yep. Pete: empath, which would make a lot of sense for a lot of things. I couldn't figure out why I was feeling these sensations, you know, as I went through working through the emotions. And it's like having a therapy session every time you click record on this show, because I talked to so many people, think in the first season of the show, I did like 110 interviews, you know, and that's a lot to do in a one year and a year time span. There's months where I was doing like 30 interviews in a month. So like I was going nonstop and a lot of people didn't realize I was running from my problems. And then I finally decided just to be honest with people about what happened. And then the show took off even further because it was just like, I'm real raw and honest to the point, you know, about everything. was more open about what I deal with on a daily basis, you know, and I would attract a lot of people to the show. was like, you know, you get emails every day from people saying that they're listening to these different episodes that we did with different people and they're coming up and saying, hey, listen, I appreciate what you're doing, you know, because you're having a conversation. Not a lot of people are ready to have, you know, and I'm creating this space. People like yourself can come in and share what they want to share, highlight the books that you have, which is great because I love authors that come in here because it's nice to know who the person behind the book is. They get to know you a little bit better, a little into more session with you to learn a little more about where the story came from. And then the fact that you're getting such a great response. I love that for you, though. That's awesome because that's all you can hope is the best for people. So do you have anything else planning coming down the line that you're not telling us about yet or? Avonley Lightstone: Thank you. Yeah, I'm actually working with a producer ⁓ currently right now ⁓ making this into more of like a Christian film in hopes to help reach more people. Pete: Mm-hmm. Okay, okay. You must be trying to reach into my movie side because I'm a huge movie fan. I'll definitely watch it. It doesn't matter what it is. I watch it anyways. You know, all those movies. So I definitely want to check it out. We've had a film critic. We have a film come on before she was working on a film about mental health. fact, Stephanie Acock had a movie called, God, what is it? The Bloom. It was called Bloom. Sorry, it went blank. But Bloom, know, so I love it when people say movies. I'm like, OK, listen, you already got me. I don't care what genre it is. Let me watch this thing. I'm down. Avonley Lightstone: Okay. You Pete: So that's so cool though that what stages are we at right now? Is this thing going to happen? Avonley Lightstone: Well, yeah, so right now we're in the writing phases. So I'm working with the producer and creating and just kind of coming up with the scope of the idea and how to run with it. So yeah, I think it's gonna be great. He's the... Pete: Mm-hmm. Any ideas who you want to play you? mean, that's the part of, ⁓ we got to worry about like, who's going to be you on the screen, you know, you got to make sure they fit, you know, got to give off your, energy you're giving, the positive energy you're giving off right now. We got to make sure that person fits that role now. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, I don't know. Like that one's a really tricky one and we haven't really ⁓ got to that point yet because we're just in the writing phase. But yeah, I thought of that and I wasn't quite sure. I do like, like if you see that picture, that's my daughter and I'm hoping like maybe my ⁓ some of my kids can just be like not obviously the main character, but like just somewhere in the movie. would be cool. Pete: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That would be so cool. That would be really cool. It'd be a really cool Easter egg. It'd be like, ⁓ yeah, look, my daughter's in this film I had made about my life. That'd be really cool, That's so cool, though. I'm so excited. Do you guys have any timeline of when this thing's coming out? Or are we still just kind of playing it right now in the writing phase, just kind of going? Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, yeah, we're just in the writing phase right now. ⁓ It's kind of like a slow process in some ways because we keep changing ideas and coming up with new ideas where to add them. ⁓ But yeah, he's the guy, he's the producer off of 300 and Spider-Man, Spider-Man, yeah. So yeah, it's been fun. He's a really awesome guy. He's a good guy. Pete: ⁓ huh. ⁓ really? No way! That's awesome! Oh, I believe it. Trust me. I love 300. 300 is a great movie. So that's so awesome, though. I mean, that's that's really cool to find out you have somebody with that much pedigree working on it. So we know it's going to a good film now. And definitely because 300 was great. The way they put that together was it was really good. You know, all the scenes, everything and stuff like that, too. So that's really cool. So how did they approach you about this? Was this just like, hey, you pitched it to somebody or did you know somebody to get him to do it? Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. No worries. ⁓ No, there was a few people that asked me to, ⁓ that has worked with certain producers and they ⁓ allowed me to pitch it. But yeah, it's just ⁓ getting my pitch ready and then sharing the story and stuff and seeing if they'd be willing to take it. Yeah. And I keep getting a lot of people like ask me like, hey, I know so and so that would love to create a book with you. Pete: Okay. Well, that's so cool though. Avonley Lightstone: a movie with you, would you be interested? I have to like kindly reject that because I'm obviously working with a producer, but it's very possible that I could create like a different ⁓ storyline with somebody else as well because we're only focused on like a little piece in the book and there's so much ⁓ information and it's just one book. I have like three other books that haven't released. Pete: Mm-hmm. Okay, well, so what are the books you have coming out though? I find this more interesting. Here we go. Okay. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, well, it just follows my story. Yeah, it just follows different chapters of my life. There's just so much to it. So yeah, I just I'm not sure when to put that out because I haven't got that right feeling of okay, I want to. Pete: Okay. That's so cool though. Yeah. Okay, no, I get that. I respect that 100 % though. At least we know there's more coming for people like, okay, well, we enjoy what you wrote here. They have some more to look forward to now. Now they know they'll look out there. They're constantly checking those socials like, all right, let's see when is this next one coming out? Well, that's really cool though, you know. Did you anticipate doing three books though? I mean, you said you had three of them, right? Avonley Lightstone: Yeah No, yeah, actually I have four. The last one is more of a help. It's a self-help book. And that goes in sharing the details of like recognizing what a narcissist is, like when your gas light in. It goes more in detail. It's just almost like a blueprint of how you can use that to help oneself. And there's a lot of like... Pete: ⁓ okay. Awesome. Mm-hmm. That's so cool. Listen, that just means you'll have to come back and have to talk about the other books. And then when we get to the last one, obviously, we have a good friend of the show, CF Mickey, she released one called Cultivating Freedom that was a guide to narcissists as well. So and I know hers took off really well. So I think if everybody likes what you have now, I can only imagine what that book is going to do. That one's going to take off flying because, you know, people tend to use narcissists a lot, don't really know what the word means, you know, for you to come in and Avonley Lightstone: Mm-hmm. Pete: bring in your own perspective. It'd be really cool to see. I'm really interested to see how people will accept to that too, because they already like what you've gotten ready. So clearly they're already digging what you got. So when you get to these other ones and then you drop the last one on them, I mean, I think it's going to be really great. So that just means you'll have to come back and visit us for the other ones and we can hype up the books and things like that too. So. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, of course. Absolutely, yeah. Thank you so much. I'm excited about it and ⁓ there's just a lot of stuff. Pete: Oh, you should be. You should be. Listen, got four books here, trust me. That's one of most people get. Trust me, I can't even write one. I've been talking about doing my own. Everybody keeps telling me that. Like somebody actually offered the other day to write my book for me. I was like, I'm going have to take that offer up on you, honestly. but, Evaloni, we're at the point of this episode where we're going to ask you those two questions. Now, the first question is a fun question. OK, so this one's going to be an interesting one. listen, there's no wrong answer to this question I'm about to ask you. OK? Avonley Lightstone: You Yeah, you should. Pete: So the question to you is if your mental health had a song, what would you say that song would be? And you could pick any song you want. What is that one when you would say describe it? Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ that's interesting. Pete: Look her, she's really thinking about this one. It's a fun question because, you know, it's so interesting to see what people respond. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. ⁓ Pete: The first song that comes to mind you could use too if you like. Avonley Lightstone: Okay, I'm just ⁓ trying to think, what is that? ⁓ I can't even think of it. But I would say ⁓ amazing grace in many ways because like, I don't know, like we all have issues and God gives us grace to like overcome and ⁓ with his love. And as we ⁓ anchor on him. Pete: Okay, okay. Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: like our mental stability dissipates and it just becomes more of like harmony in your life. And when you look back and reflect on your life, it's like all of those hardships that you went through was needed to become the person that you are that harmonizes the grace that you're carrying with God. Pete: I love it. I think that's a really good song and I love exactly the explanation you gave for it because I think it's really great. That's really awesome. You know, that's the first time Amazing Grace has come up, which is great because I love when we get new entries into the thing. I don't think we've had any repeat ones yet. You know, we've had some interesting responses to I think the last person I asked that too, they said they were listening to some kind of humming, some kind of humming music. was like, listen, anything counts at this point. Music to me, man. Music's great because a lot of people apply it to their lives and the things they listen to. You know, recently I'm finding out a lot of bands that I listen to, some of them are Christian bands. And I was like, really? No way. I didn't know that, which is still pretty cool because it's not going to change the fact that Phil did. In fact, next season's artist, he's actually a Christian rapper who's going to be the intro song. Because every season from season two and now, I've been choosing different artists to use their songs for my intro for the song. One of them had I met running through, I was on TikTok running around and met a gentleman named Mike. So Mike is actually going to be the artist for this season coming up. Avonley Lightstone: Thanks. Pete: He has a couple songs he said they were mental health related but he's a Christian rapper though and I really like the way his sound is you know, I've been checking out some of his stuff and things like that too. So it's really cool though, Amazing Grace came up because I think it's a great song. I think a lot of people don't realize it can mean different things to everybody but I love the explanation game. So we are at the point of this interview we're gonna ask the last question before we start wrapping up. the question to you and the reason this whole podcast started is that if you could break the stigma about mental health. Now what I'm asking you is that Avonley Lightstone: Thank you. Pete: It's the one thing that you hear people say that you just want people to stop believing. Like, hey, listen, I know this is what you think is right, but it's really not. Avonley Lightstone: ⁓ because ⁓ somebody's religious doesn't mean that they're perfect ⁓ that ⁓ everything is just ⁓ and Great like just because you know once the clothes the door closes then ⁓ sometimes the people that you trust and think that ⁓ could be in your leadership like ⁓ pastors, you know, they might be carrying dark ⁓ demons in their home that they haven't cleansed out. just know like Satan, he is the angel of light and he masquerades in it. So like people are the same way. We can masquerade in light. don't... Pete: Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: Always have your guard up and always make sure that you're protecting yourself. And just don't assume that these, just because they are church leaders, that they are one to be, ⁓ you know, trusted. Pray on, pray over them. Always pray over them. Because when you do, then God can always help you understand if they're one to be trusted. So yeah, I would say that. Pete: I love it. Absolutely. Evelyn, with that being said, we're going to wrap up this episode of Peace Society for before I start signing off, go ahead and let me know where they can find you, where they definitely can be watching out for these other books coming and the movie coming soon too. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, so on my website, Avalyn Lightstone ⁓ dot com, you can grab my first chapter, I think first or two chapters of my book ⁓ just to get a tidbits of what it's about. If it's something you're interested in, like I don't want anybody just to feel like they're obligated to get it, like understand what you're getting into. If it's something that resonates with you, yeah, just you have that option to have a preview. ⁓ And then just Pete: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Avonley Lightstone: my social at Abilene Lightstone on all my social Facebook, ⁓ TikTok, Instagram. Pete: Oh, look, she's on she's on TikTok. Everybody to this. You're the first guest this week that said TikTok. was waiting for somebody to say that. I love it. I think people sleep on TikTok, honestly, but that's awesome to hear, Guys, I'm going to have all those socials listed down below. Everything like that. But thank you so much for coming to hang out me. It was a pleasure. I'm so glad we finally got to sit down. I'm so excited to hear about the other books coming out, because, like I said, you have an open invite to come back and we can talk about them as we go. The movie for sure. I'm so excited to see the movie come out. It'd be so great to say that I met the person that made this movie. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah. Yeah. Pete: and things like that too. So I really do, really do look forward to it. Avonley Lightstone: Yeah, you're welcome. Thank you so much for having me on your show. Pete: And guys, and with that being said, we're gonna wrap up this episode of Peteford Society. You know where to find me on Peteford Society and X, all the way down to TikTok. I'm on Spotify, all the way down to Pandora Radio, and as I always say, it costs nothing absolutely not to be kind to somebody. One kind act you could do could save someone's life, or hell, can make their day. I'm Peteford Society, sign out saying, don't ask how your day is today, say, hey, how's your mental health?