Latest / ok storytime / My wife’s family kept STEALING from my daughter… so I took action! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3069

Transcript

My wife’s family kept STEALING from my daughter… so I took action! -r/AmITheAsshole | Reddit Stories | EP3069 · ok storytime

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Keon.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: And this is Dakota, your favorite OK Storytime host. And
• 0:04
  Speaker 2: we've got some great stories coming up. But before that,
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: we have a two-minute break from the sponsors that keep
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: the show going.
• 0:11
  Speaker 3: My wife's family kept stealing from my daughter, so I
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: took action. It's like stealing candy from a baby. I,
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: 53 male, have a daughter, 17 female, who I recently
• 0:21
  Speaker 3: bought this big storage container for that locks. The reason being,
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: our daughter has a job and likes buying her own
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: food and snacks for herself. The problem is that her
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: mom invites her aunt, uncle, and cousins over all the time,
• 0:33
  Speaker 3: and ever since she started buying her snacks and leaving
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: them in the pantry, they'd eat them without consulting her.
• 0:38
  Speaker 4: Hey, those are my snacks.
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: She's asked them many times to not eat them, but
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: they don't listen. For reference, she likes to order snacks
• 0:46
  Speaker 3: from other countries as a way to broaden her horizons.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: She's also linguistically gifted and likes to try and read
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: labels to help expand her vocabulary. These snacks can take
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: weeks to get after she orders them again, and by then,
• 1:00
  Speaker 3: her current snacks are gone. By the way, this comes
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: from Conscience Act 3704, and if you want to submit
• 1:05
  Speaker 3: your own stories, go to the rs.
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Okay, story time. I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 1:10
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: we don't have all your answers. We only tell you
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: what we would do, but let us know what you
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: would do down in the comments. As Opie says, my
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: wife didn't do anything, saying that since her daughter kept
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: them in the pantry there for everyone. Rude. She moved
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: them to her room and her cousins would go in
• 1:28
  Speaker 3: when she wasn't and take them. So then what's the
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: mom's excuse? Because now they're not in the pantry.
• 1:33
  Speaker 4: That's frustrating. Her cousin's always over. I'd put a lock
• 1:36
  Speaker 4: on her door if I were her dad. That too.
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: Or just get like a, well, he just bought her
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: a storage unit.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Just put a lock on that.
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: I went to a hardware store and bought a big
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: container with a lock. And for extra measure, I bought
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: extra locks and drilled holes so that they could be used.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Our daughter cried and thanked me because it was pretty
• 1:54
  Speaker 3: expensive and not something she could afford.
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: Good dad. Good dad. That's really sweet.
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: Of course, the cousins went to get more snacks and
• 2:02
  Speaker 3: threw a fit when they saw it and realized the
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: snacks were in there. They told their parents and they
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: told my wife and she's not happy with me saying
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: that our daughter should share her snacks with family and
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: she's being selfish.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: And will get fat. Oh, immediately if I'm the father,
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: I say don't ever say that about our daughter ever again.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: If you ever comment on her weight, and it's not
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: like actually a medic, there's some medical thing, I will
• 2:27
  Speaker 4: get very mad. How dare you?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: How dare you?
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: I hate that.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, one, that's messed up. Two, when
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: do you ever share your snacks? Yeah.
• 2:38
  Speaker 5: Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: No.
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: I'd be like, okay, then you buy them. No, I'd
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: be pissed. Our daughter is incredibly fit. I knew it.
• 2:45
  Speaker 4: I knew it. It's always, I feel like it's always
• 2:47
  Speaker 4: those moms... Who, you know, have very thin daughters or
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: whatever who are like the most like, oh, you can't
• 2:55
  Speaker 4: eat that. You can't do that. You're going to get fat.
• 2:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Well, that's why they are the way that they are.
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: Well, yeah.
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: It like creates this unhealthy relationship with food and with
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: your body. I hate that.
• 3:06
  Speaker 3: Our daughter is incredibly fit, does multiple sports and exercises
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: all the time. She's far from unhealthy. I told my
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: wife she could order her own and our daughter was
• 3:15
  Speaker 3: happy to tell her where to order them. But she
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: didn't like that either and told us that the chest
• 3:20
  Speaker 3: needs to go and that I should have consulted her
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: on buying the bin in the first place. This is
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: such a stupid argument. How about no one takes my
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: stuff that I pay for? If you want to provide
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: the cousins or family with snacks, cool, do it. But
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: they're not taking mine. I pay for them and I
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: like them and I want to enjoy them.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: I was just going to say everyone's saying almond mom's.
• 3:41
  Speaker 4: What is almond mom? An almond mom is the type
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: of mom who ate four almonds growing up and only
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: had the healthy snacks and would always imbue this kind
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: of unhealthy relationship in their children. Didn't you always have
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: healthy snacks? No, I would call my mom an ingredient.
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: We were an ingredient household versus an almond mom household.
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: The difference is almond mom household is like, you can't
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: eat any sugar. You can only eat this like a
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: little bit amount of food and it's kind of like
• 4:13
  Speaker 4: eating disorder. Whereas ingredient household is you could eat a
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: bunch of food. You just have to make it. Like
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: we didn't have snacks, but we had things to make snacks.
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: And like we had chocolate chips and like could make
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: sweets whenever we wanted, but we just had to do it.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: Am I the a-hole?
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: No, you're not the a-hole for protecting your daughter and
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: standing up for her when no one else is, apparently.
• 4:35
  Speaker 4: Agreed.
• 4:36
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: I 100% agree with that. Not the a-hole. The wife's
• 4:39
  Speaker 4: being the a-hole. I 100% agree with that.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Everyone's being an a-hole other than you and your daughter.
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: Like she worked hard. She, this is her passion. She
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: likes to do these things. She does not have to
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: share with the family that comes over and.
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: Doesn't even ask.
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 4:53
  Speaker 4: It doesn't even ask. Sharing, sharing. You should be teaching
• 4:56
  Speaker 4: the kids that with sharing, it's about asking and then saying, yeah, okay.
• 5:01
  Speaker 4: There is not the implication that you always have to
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: give something away.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 5:05
  Speaker 4: It's like, if you ask, you can ask. And then
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: even if they, if they say yes.
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: If they say no, don't take it personally. They just
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: want that for themselves.
• 5:14
  Speaker 5: That's all. Edit.
• 5:15
  Speaker 3: The relatives are our daughter's cousins and aunt and uncle.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: They are my sister-in-law, brother-in-law, and nephews, and sister-in-law is
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: my wife's sister to clear up any confusion. The pantry
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: is also fully stocked with food. No one is going
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: hungry and eating our daughter's snacks because they have to.
• 5:31
  Speaker 4: And there's an update.
• 5:32
  Speaker 3: My daughter and my brother-in-law both found my Reddit post separately. First,
• 5:36
  Speaker 3: my daughter, who was sent it via a friend who
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: knew the situation... She confronted me about it and we
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: had a very long talk where she admitted that when
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: I'm away, her mom doesn't treat her well.
• 5:46
  Speaker 4: Shocker.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: And often puts her cousins and nephews above her, telling
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: her she should be understanding we're far better off than them.
• 5:54
  Speaker 4: Just because you're far.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: Better off doesn't mean you have to neglect your daughter.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Like, you can just provide more, but don't provide your
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: family with less to give them more, you know? Well,
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: it just doesn't make sense.
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: If that's your thought process, then why don't you pay
• 6:10
  Speaker 4: for their snacks?
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 6:12
  Speaker 4: Why are you expecting your minor daughter to do it?
• 6:15
  Speaker 3: I was aware that they would occasionally sneak into her
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: room to take things or play, but apparently they go
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: so far as to wait for her to leave for
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: a few minutes, run in, and grab what they want.
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: Her mom also makes a lot of comments about her weight.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: For reference, our daughter takes after me being taller with
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: some more masculine features such as broader shoulders while my
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: wife is small and petite. There's many other things I
• 6:37
  Speaker 3: won't say here that my wife has said to her daughter.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: I didn't bring it up at first and consulted my
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: wife on buying a lock for our daughter's door, which
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: she opposed, even if our daughter said she'd buy it
• 6:48
  Speaker 3: with her own money. She started yelling about how under
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: her roof our daughter has to abide by her rules.
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: The house is technically mine, not hers. And I'm telling
• 6:59
  Speaker 3: her that. I'm bringing that up.
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: I go, oh, who's on the lease?
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: One more time? Yeah, say that sentence one more time.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: She stormed off and immediately began telling all our friends
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: and her sister and brother-in-law that I was being controlling
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: and awful to her.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: The brother-in-law found.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: The first post and sent it to her, leading to
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: another argument where she accused me of airing our dirty
• 7:19
  Speaker 3: laundry to the world instead of trying to communicate, despite
• 7:21
  Speaker 3: me trying to and getting shut down.
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: That's so hypocritical. She just went to all of her
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: family and friends and complained about you.
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: Stop airing our dirty laundry. By the way, did you
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: hear what my husband did to me? Did you hear
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: about my dirty laundry?
• 7:35
  Speaker 4: By the way, have you cleaned my dirty laundry yet?
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: Because I got more.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Once she stormed off, I packed a bag, as did
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: my daughter, and we went to a hotel. Yes, we
• 7:46
  Speaker 3: brought the snack bin.
• 7:47
  Speaker 2: Okay, good.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Where we have been the past few days while I
• 7:50
  Speaker 3: find a good divorce lawyer.
• 7:51
  Speaker 4: Wow. I mean, yeah. After finding out the terrible things
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: that this mama said to his daughter, I would not
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: stand up. Oh, yeah.
• 8:00
  Speaker 3: If I knew my partner was bullying my children behind
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: my back, done.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: About their appearance?
• 8:05
  Speaker 4: Don't ever. That gives me chills. Do not ever mess
• 8:08
  Speaker 4: with my child.
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: No.
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: I hate that.
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: My wife is still spreading lies about me, claiming I
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: tried to throw her out and all sorts of other lies.
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: You should throw her out. I'm finished with her. I
• 8:20
  Speaker 3: don't care what she says. I'll be divorcing her and
• 8:22
  Speaker 3: paying as much alimony as she wants so that I
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: can keep my daughter safe from her. Nice.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: Good man. Fortunately, your daughter is 17, so that makes
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: custody so much easier.
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: I don't care about the house or anything else. She
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: can keep it all and let her sister, brother-in-law, and
• 8:36
  Speaker 3: nephews mooch off of her until she's penniless. I'm sorry
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: this is not a happy update, and I doubt I
• 8:42
  Speaker 3: will make one after this. Thank you for opening my eyes, Reddit.
• 8:45
  Speaker 3: Kind of is a happy ending.
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: I agree. It might not seem happy on the surface,
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: but when you look at how much better off you
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: guys will be without this woman in your life. It's
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: crazy how this all started over just like stealing snacks.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: Like they couldn't just be like, hey, can I have some?
• 9:05
  Speaker 5: No.
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: They had to take them and then... bring her down
• 9:08
  Speaker 4: for some reason yeah it's so sad that this mom
• 9:11
  Speaker 4: you know probably won't realize the damage that she's had
• 9:14
  Speaker 4: on her daughter's life and you know it seemingly will
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: not have her daughter in her life anymore and probably
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: won't understand why yeah i know this she's blameless the
• 9:27
  Speaker 4: mom the wife is blameless She's going to be like,
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: everyone's against me. Victim, victim, victim. Terrence says, why are
• 9:33
  Speaker 4: there so many stories with conflicts with moms and teenage daughters?
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: I mean, the tale is old as time. There's an
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: edit here.
• 9:41
  Speaker 3: After so many people have told me not to give
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: up the house, I will be doing my best to
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: fight for it and low alimony for my wife. Me
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: and my daughter shouldn't have had to leave the house
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: we've both grown up in because of my wife. She
• 9:53
  Speaker 3: can live with her sister if she wants to help
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: them so much. oh true yeah exactly op don't like
• 9:59
  Speaker 3: lower yourself and just be like ah i just want
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: to be done and you know especially when your daughter
• 10:05
  Speaker 3: isn't in the situation like that's her room exactly and
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: that's her stuff.
• 10:09
  Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story we're gonna go
• 10:11
  Speaker 6: to the next one.
• 10:13
  Speaker 4: My brother refused to speak to me for years so
• 10:16
  Speaker 4: i skipped his graduation I mean, you don't speak to me.
• 10:19
  Speaker 4: What am I supposed to say to you? My older
• 10:21
  Speaker 4: brother is about a year and a half older than me.
• 10:24
  Speaker 4: I don't know what the F happened, but we used
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: to be pretty close when we were younger. And by
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: the time I was in seventh grade, he did not
• 10:31
  Speaker 4: speak to me in public. When I hit freshman year,
• 10:34
  Speaker 4: he didn't even address me at home. My mom made
• 10:37
  Speaker 4: it so that I had to beg for his approval
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: and she wouldn't help. She said I did something that
• 10:43
  Speaker 4: he won't ever forget and I have to work for
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: his approval. Could someone clue her in? Clue this person in?
• 10:49
  Speaker 1: Nope.
• 10:49
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: Backtrack everything you've done in your life and be like.
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: For years, both him and my mom have told me
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: that I'm nothing more than an embarrassment.
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: What did you do? What happened?
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: There's some context we're missing here.
• 11:02
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 11:03
  Speaker 4: He's even gone as far as indirectly calling me a sleut.
• 11:07
  Speaker 4: I was a virgin until earlier this year, TMI, but
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: you get the point. When my mom would call us
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: over to sit down and talk, he won't face or
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: look at me and would degrade me in third person.
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: and addressed my mom and she would let him do it.
• 11:20
  Speaker 4: Someone clue this girl in! Wait, is OP a girl
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: or a boy? OP is a girl.
• 11:25
  Speaker 5: Okay, that's what I thought.
• 11:26
  Speaker 6: I think.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: I'll just say that.
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: Don't have any gender. I just assumed.
• 11:31
  Speaker 4: Sorry. My older brother graduates from college in the spring.
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: He moved and I haven't seen him in four years now.
• 11:38
  Speaker 4: When my dad told me to call my brother during
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: dinner one day, I said, no. My mom asked why
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: and I told her he disrespected me for years. She
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: said I shouldn't hold a grudge and that pissed me off. Oh,
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: but he can hold a grudge on me? Yeah, and
• 11:52
  Speaker 4: for what? We still don't even know the answer. I
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: told her about what he called me and how he
• 11:56
  Speaker 4: wouldn't even look at me, wouldn't even address me in
• 11:58
  Speaker 4: public or at home. And apparently she said he had
• 12:01
  Speaker 4: a reason and won't tell me.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: Dad, what are we doing? Dad, Dad, do you hear this?
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: This was news to my dad who traveled for work
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: and recently retired.
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: By the way, this comes from Deleted, and if you
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: slash OK Storytime subreddit. I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: And I'm Keon.
• 12:19
  Speaker 4: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 12:21
  Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do.
• 12:24
  Speaker 4: So let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 12:26
  Speaker 4: And Opie says, I recently left my family and live
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: on my own, fully supporting myself because of the disrespect
• 12:32
  Speaker 4: they've given me for years. I can see my mom
• 12:36
  Speaker 4: doing the same things to my younger siblings, and I
• 12:38
  Speaker 4: constantly step in. so that their relationship doesn't get ruined
• 12:42
  Speaker 4: as bad as mine and my older brother's. I don't
• 12:45
  Speaker 4: hate my brother. I just have zero love or tolerance
• 12:47
  Speaker 4: for him anymore. He's just a... I just don't care.
• 12:52
  Speaker 4: And to this day, he won't address, message, talk to me,
• 12:56
  Speaker 4: and has blocked me on every social media app. I
• 13:00
  Speaker 4: am getting the feeling that mom... A fair child.
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: No.
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: Oh, I was going to say, I think that... Whatever
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: the brother thinks OP did, I think the mom put
• 13:12
  Speaker 4: it in his mind. Because I think OP kind of
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: implied that she's doing it with the younger siblings too,
• 13:18
  Speaker 4: like trying to split them apart. Maybe it's the brother
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: put something in the mom's mind. I'm going to go
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: with that. Bro to mom, you're going mom to bro.
• 13:31
  Speaker 4: I do not want to text call or attend a
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: stupid graduation. Am I in the wrong year? Should I
• 13:36
  Speaker 4: spend an entire week with a brother who constantly pretends
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: I don't exist, that I'm disgusting and repulsive? Once he
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: made a reservation for my birthday because my dad sent
• 13:47
  Speaker 4: him money to do so, picked out a restaurant and
• 13:50
  Speaker 4: forgot to put my name on the list. I spent
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: my 16th sitting in a car, crying my eyes out,
• 13:56
  Speaker 4: and then falling asleep in the trunk. They were in
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: the restaurant for four hours and didn't even bring leftovers.
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: Woooah!
• 14:03
  Speaker 4: For your birthday, they're going to celebrate without you? Why
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: did no one? That's, no, now I'm mad at the
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: dad too. Why is dad allowing this? What a freaking doormat.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: Well, dad doesn't know.
• 14:13
  Speaker 4: I mean, but how did he not know when she
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: was at, I mean, presumably he was at that birthday party.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: I'm guessing their whole family went and he forgot to put,
• 14:21
  Speaker 3: you know.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: And then why, also, why was she in the trunk?
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: I don't understand that.
• 14:25
  Speaker 1: This whole family sucks. What is going on?
• 14:28
  Speaker 4: I don't know what to do. I'm angry and upset
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: again and I don't know who to ask but Reddit.
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: We have an update seven months later. I think that
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: someone has lied to this brother. I think, I think
• 14:38
  Speaker 4: bomb has lied to the brother. I think you need
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: to somehow reach out to him and be like, what
• 14:44
  Speaker 4: did I do?
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I don't know why that wouldn't be like your
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: first response. Like it's been years and you're just like
• 14:51
  Speaker 3: letting it go and like allowing this to happen. I
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: would have immediately put my foot down and been like,
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: tell me what I did. Like, tell me what am
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: I supposed to do? You just hate me for no reason.
• 15:01
  Speaker 1: Okay, cool.
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: Because this was when she was 12? That she supposedly
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: did something wrong? I don't know, she was young. She's
• 15:06
  Speaker 4: in seventh grade, so.
• 15:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 15:08
  Speaker 1: The craziest thing is, again, he was referring to Opie
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: in like third person and like right there at the
• 15:13
  Speaker 1: dinner table and mom's like, yeah, I like this.
• 15:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, Opie's mom is like, yes, my children can do
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: this and I'm not going to step in and you
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: just have to deal with it. And that's on failed parenting.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like Opie's like, what did I do?
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: And the mom's just like, you know. Yeah.
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: Do I?
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: I hate when people say that.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: You know exactly what you did and you go, why
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: do you think I'm asking?
• 15:35
  Speaker 4: No, I'm just asking for the fun of it. I
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: just want to know your point of view. But we've
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: got an update seven months later. After a very short
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: text to my brother asking what I've done and receiving
• 15:46
  Speaker 4: zero response, I've gone completely no contact with my older brother.
• 15:50
  Speaker 4: My father had booked me a flight to go see
• 15:51
  Speaker 4: his graduation, but to his surprise, my older brother had
• 15:54
  Speaker 4: blocked my father and told my mom that he does
• 15:57
  Speaker 4: not want him there.
• 15:58
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: Okay, what is happening? The week my mom and siblings left,
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: I took my dad out and we had a conversation.
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: I told them everything. My dad was shocked and asked
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: me why I hadn't told them years ago. I said
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: it was because for a while I believed that I
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: was in the wrong until I moved out nearly a
• 16:16
  Speaker 4: year ago. I explained all the reasons and points as
• 16:19
  Speaker 4: to why I moved out, and he said that he
• 16:21
  Speaker 4: fully supports me and my decisions. Once my mother and
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: siblings came back, though, it's been heck. My mother called
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: me up and yelled at me for interfering with her marriage?
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: For telling your dad the truth?
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: I think your mom hates you.
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, what is wrong? My mother has also been slandering
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: my father and has threatened a divorce upwards of about
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: five times in the last three years. While I was
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: crying really hard, holding hands with my boyfriend for support,
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: I ripped into her. I told her that I have
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: no trust for her and that's why she does not
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: know where I live or who I associate with. I
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: told her that I do love her, but she's enabled
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: such toxic behavior for so long that I've learned to
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: hate myself for it. I told her I will not
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: bother rekindling a relationship that is over because, quite frankly,
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: I couldn't give less of an F about my older
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: brother's well-being. If he wanted to ever speak to me,
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: the first words out of his mouth better be an
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: apology and an explanation because I'm simply going to disregard
• 17:24
  Speaker 4: everything else. She threatened to curse me? And I said,
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: go ahead. Not her being an Etsy witch.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: Opie's been cursed for their entire childhood.
• 17:35
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: What worse could you possibly do? Yeah, I have no idea.
• 17:38
  Speaker 4: Like get the rest of the family on your side? Okay, cool.
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: I'm already going no contact.
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: I'd get up in her face and go, go ahead.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: Yeah, bye. I want to know what Opie supposedly did.
• 17:47
  Speaker 1: Me too.
• 17:49
  Speaker 3: And I feel like we're not going to get it
• 17:50
  Speaker 3: and that's really going to piss me off. But maybe
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: we'll get it in the comments.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I don't know.
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: There's a little bit left. My father has been trying
• 17:56
  Speaker 4: to play mediator ever since and I respect it. Last
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: night he and I went out and he said that
• 18:00
  Speaker 4: he will not divorce my mother. While he is fully
• 18:04
  Speaker 4: aware that she is in the wrong, he has a moral, religious,
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: and financial obligation to financially support his wife and his family.
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: If she went as far as getting a lawyer and
• 18:13
  Speaker 4: giving him divorce papers, he said he would sign it
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: and pay her whatever it is she wanted to make
• 18:18
  Speaker 4: sure his kids and the woman he's loved for 35
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: years are comfortable and happy. I mean, you didn't do
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: a very good job with OP.
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what?
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: I've never had so much respect for a person in
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: my life. I said don't, but okay. I told him
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: that I hope he's not angry at me for not
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: sharing my location and friends with him. And he said
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: don't bother because he would tell my mom if he
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: did know. I don't like your dad.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no one in this, everyone sucks except OP. OP
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: literally did nothing wrong and everyone's just, like, blaming her
• 18:48
  Speaker 3: for something she has.
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: No idea about. OP's dad just said, yeah, I'm not
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: going to divorce her. And also, if you told me
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: your location, I would immediately tell your mom who you
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: don't want contact with. Like, that's cool. Okay, the one
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: person I trust. Ah, okay, cool. I guess I don't
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: trust anyone.
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: Keep going. I found an interesting comment.
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: It's been a hard summer so far, but it's been
• 19:07
  Speaker 4: worth it.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Got it.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: Okay, give me a comment or something.
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: It's not going to be good. It's nothing that's going
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: to really resolve anything. It's just context from OP. So,
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: OP says, I didn't want to put this in the post,
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: but I see it's necessary. My dad is passing away. He, uh,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: pretty soon at that. He just wants to leave peacefully.
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure she says he wants to live peacefully,
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: not leave peacefully. But, He just wants to live peacefully
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: and has set up a lot of support to his family.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: That being said, I did offer, which is why I
• 19:41
  Speaker 1: told him that I would tell him where I live
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: in case he wanted to get out. He told me that, religiously,
• 19:47
  Speaker 1: as he is a very religious man, he will remain loyal. Okay.
• 19:40
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: You just, yeah, I feel like it was just like,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: all right, cool.
• 20:09
  Speaker 4: I respect that. If you say so.
• 20:11
  Speaker 3: So he's going to do nothing about it and just
• 20:14
  Speaker 3: let her deal with it. And then when he's gone,
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: nothing's going to change. And you're still going to be
• 20:19
  Speaker 3: a horrible person.
• 20:20
  Speaker 4: Got it. That's what that just told me.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: That told me that you have no balls and you're
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: not going to stand up for me, your child.
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: I understand not wanting to divorce your wife when you're
• 20:32
  Speaker 4: passing away. It's like, what's the point? But call her out.
• 20:35
  Speaker 6: Call her out.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: Like, say something to her.
• 20:37
  Speaker 1: Be like, hey, you are a mother.
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: This is not how a mother acts towards their children. Like,
• 20:45
  Speaker 4: screw you. And I still don't know. I still don't
• 20:48
  Speaker 4: know what she did.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: At this point, too little, too late.
• 20:51
  Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 20:52
  Speaker 6: go to the next one.
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: My family declared war over my wedding, so I got
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: married in secret.
• 20:59
  Speaker 4: Two lovers, forbidden from one another.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: My fiance, 35 male, and I, 30 female, have been
• 21:07
  Speaker 3: dating since I was 20. We got engaged last year
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: and have slowly been planning an intimate wedding for February 2024.
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: We have a guest list of 35, close friends and
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: family only. And we each chose two people to be
• 21:20
  Speaker 3: groomsmen slash bridesmaids. She's having her sister's son, Six, as
• 21:25
  Speaker 3: the ring bearer, and I decided to have his sister's daughter, Four,
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: as the flower girl. I have an amazing relationship with
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: his family and a very strained relationship with mine, although
• 21:35
  Speaker 3: it is getting better with my parents. I had posted
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: an announcement on our wedding Facebook page about the choices.
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: It was just a photo of the kids looking through
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: dresses and suits with their mom. Two hours later, I
• 21:47
  Speaker 3: got a call from my mother asking where the photo
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: was taken and if it was where I was getting
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: my dress. I told her it was them picking out
• 21:55
  Speaker 3: their outfits for the wedding. She said, oh, that's cute,
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: and then told me she had to go to an appointment,
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: so we wrapped up the conversation, and that was that.
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: 30 minutes later, my phone rang from a number I
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: didn't recognize, so I ignored it. I don't pick up
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: strange numbers. I saw they had left a voicemail, so
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: I listened to it. It was my brother's wife. I
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: don't have a good relationship with my brothers, so I
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: don't speak to them unless forced to. She was livid,
• 22:20
  Speaker 3: to say the least, yelling and crying about the fact
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: that I didn't choose her son and daughter, that they
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: would never forgive me, and that I am no aunt
• 22:29
  Speaker 3: to them.
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: I just text back, who is this? I'm sure they're
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: not even invited. Honestly. There's a thing. When you have
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: a little small wedding, don't post about it. Yeah, it's true. Like,
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: if you want it to be low-key.
• 22:42
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: By the way, this comes from Anon Annie 81877. And
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: if you want to submit your own stories, go to
• 22:51
  Speaker 3: the r slash ok story time subreddit.
• 22:53
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah. I'm Sophia.
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: And we're here to give some good advice, goofily, but
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: we don't have all your answers. We'd only tell you
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: what we would do, but let us know what you
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: would do down in the comments.
• 23:02
  Speaker 1: Did you say mansers?
• 23:04
  Speaker 4: Did I say what? We only have your mansers. We
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: don't have your mansers. We don't have all the mansers.
• 23:10
  Speaker 4: We only have a little mansers.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: As OP says, I chose to ignore this, as I
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: don't have a relationship with them and don't owe them
• 23:18
  Speaker 3: any sort of explanation.
• 23:20
  Speaker 6: Smart.
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: I then got a call from my brother, which I
• 23:23
  Speaker 3: didn't answer either. He didn't leave.
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: A voicemail and I didn't call him back.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: Two days later, there was a knock on my door
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: and who guessed it?
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: It was my brother and his wife.
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: She was demanding to know why I didn't pick their
• 23:35
  Speaker 3: kids and why I gave some random kids their spot.
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: And you know what I do? I go, don't care.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Slam the door.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I go, when's the last time I saw you guys? Yeah,
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, oh, wait. Do you guys remember the
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: last conversation we had?
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: Neither do I. Or you just go, this is why.
• 23:54
  Speaker 6: Bye.
• 23:55
  Speaker 3: I calmly responded that it wasn't their spot and they
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: aren't random kids. She began crying hysterically and saying that
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: her kids deserved it and that I was such an
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: awful person. I told them that she and my brother
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: weren't even invited and they needed to get off my property.
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: My brother was silent throughout this whole thing. Or I
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: told my fiance what had happened when he got home
• 24:16
  Speaker 3: from work. showed him our ring camera footage, and showed
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: him the voicemail. I turned my phone off for the
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: rest of the day and didn't turn it on until
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: the morning. When I turned it on, I was bombarded
• 24:26
  Speaker 3: with texts, calls, and social media messages and posts about
• 24:30
  Speaker 3: how awful I was for punishing the children and how
• 24:33
  Speaker 3: I went crazy on my brother and sister-in-law. I posted
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: the ring camera footage and the voicemail and tagged everyone
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: who had made a post or sent me a text.
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: Yes.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: I got several apologies, but I frankly didn't care. I
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: get the apologies and then I block them.
• 24:50
  Speaker 5: Yeah, literally.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: Bye.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: Never talk to me or my family again.
• 24:53
  Speaker 5: Hate you.
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: Bye.
• 24:54
  Speaker 3: Our guest list went from 35 to 25 in a
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: matter of minutes, and I am fine with that. My
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: mother and father are mad about the situation and drama,
• 25:02
  Speaker 3: but are, for the moment, staying out of it and
• 25:04
  Speaker 3: telling us to figure our own crap out. I still
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: have family, friends, and all of brother and sister-in-law's flying
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: monkeys pestering me about not wanting.
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: Their kids in my wedding. And that I'm a monster
• 25:16
  Speaker 4: for doing this. No, I just don't want my brother
• 25:19
  Speaker 4: and sister-in-law there. Who you don't talk to. Do you
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: want the kids to go solo?
• 25:24
  Speaker 3: So Reddit, am I wrong for punishing my niece and
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: nephew and choosing my fiance's niece and nephew to be
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: a prominent part of our wedding?
• 25:30
  Speaker 4: And there's an update. No, it's your wedding. You don't
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: even talk to these people. They're not even invited.
• 25:37
  Speaker 3: And also, I'm seeing why you don't talk to them,
• 25:39
  Speaker 3: because they're insane.
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: My kids deserve it.
• 25:43
  Speaker 6: What?
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: As me and Stain say, in Stain. That's in Stain.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: There's an update I posted a few days ago about
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: the predicament I was in with my family regarding my wedding. Well,
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: in the three days since I posted, it has escalated
• 25:57
  Speaker 3: far past what I ever thought. After I blocked everyone
• 26:01
  Speaker 3: and uninvited people, I ended up deleting my wedding page
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: and creating a private group chat with everyone who was
• 26:08
  Speaker 3: still involved, which worked out perfectly. I told my mother
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: I was going low contact with her and my father
• 26:15
  Speaker 3: after everything that happened, and she was of course upset
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: and wanted to talk it out. I told her that
• 26:21
  Speaker 3: when she could admit she was wrong and apologize, we could.
• 26:25
  Speaker 3: I went into work a couple days later. I work
• 26:28
  Speaker 3: half remote, half in office. And got called into my
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: boss's office immediately.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: Yikes.
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: What did they do?
• 26:36
  Speaker 3: He told me he was getting emails and calls about
• 26:38
  Speaker 3: me from different people and that he was putting me
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: on leave until I got this figured out. No.
• 26:45
  Speaker 4: And that's when you could actually like take them to
• 26:48
  Speaker 4: court because they're affecting your job.
• 26:50
  Speaker 3: That's insane that they go that far. Because I didn't
• 26:53
  Speaker 3: pick your kids to be in my wedding.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: You're going to.
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: Make me unemployed? It's also crazy that the boss is like, yeah,
• 27:00
  Speaker 4: I'm putting you on leave because people are emailing me
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: about you. Like, just ignore it. Or you can call
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: him and be like, what is this? I'm like, it's
• 27:06
  Speaker 4: a family thing. Just ignore it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: This has nothing to do with work. It has nothing
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: to do with you. You can definitely win a lawsuit
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: for that. That's crazy.
• 27:15
  Speaker 3: I had sent him an email about the entire situation
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: when it happened, so he is completely understanding of it
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: and doesn't want it to affect my work.
• 27:23
  Speaker 4: But he still puts you on leave, so that.
• 27:25
  Speaker 5: Is affecting your work.
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: I think it was a good type of leave. Maybe
• 27:27
  Speaker 4: it was like, hey, do you want to like a break?
• 27:29
  Speaker 5: I don't know.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Weird.
• 27:30
  Speaker 4: When I got home, my brother was waiting for me alone.
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, please.
• 27:35
  Speaker 4: I sent a quick text.
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: To my fiance telling him my brother is here at
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: the house and then started recording as I got out
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: of my car. I asked him what he wanted and
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: he told me he wanted to talk and asked if
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: we can go inside. I told him we were fine
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: talking in front of the house and he rolled his
• 27:50
  Speaker 3: eyes at me. He asked why I was excluding his
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: children and I honestly just about lost it. I asked
• 27:57
  Speaker 3: him if he was seriously asking me that question. He
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: started yelling at me that he's never done anything to me,
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: that I'm a no-good liar, and that it's a wonder
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: that my fiancé even wants me. I raised my voice
• 28:09
  Speaker 3: and told him he was a hypocrite and that he
• 28:11
  Speaker 3: and his wife were a match made in heck. I
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: told him it was best he leave, and as he
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: was getting in his car, he made a nasty comment
• 28:18
  Speaker 3: implying something might happen. to my car on the way
• 28:22
  Speaker 3: to the wedding, then left.
• 28:24
  Speaker 4: Well, I hope you have all that repeated.
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: I have that all on camera, bucko.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: And then you just make another post and you go,
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: this is why he's still not coming to my wedding.
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: And now you're getting threatened.
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: No, you should go, okay, now, you know what? Since
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: you say that.
• 28:38
  Speaker 4: Yeah, since you say that, now I really want you
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: at my wedding.
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: He goes, really? No.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: No. I waited until I couldn't see him anymore to
• 28:47
  Speaker 3: make sure he was actually leaving and I called the cops.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: I gave them copy of the video and all the
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: other evidence and asked if I could get a no-contact
• 28:55
  Speaker 3: order for the both of them. I'm not sure if
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: it will be possible, but here's hoping. I'm debating canceling
• 29:02
  Speaker 3: the wedding and going to the courthouse instead. We'd still
• 29:05
  Speaker 3: have our close family there, and my fiancé' s niece and
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: nephew can still be part of it. I was hoping
• 29:10
  Speaker 3: to be able to update in a few months and
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: tell you the wedding went perfectly, but I don't know
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: if that's going to happen now.
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: Oh!
• 29:16
  Speaker 4: There's a second update. Don't let them win. Have your wedding.
• 29:19
  Speaker 4: You're only having 25 people there. It's not going to
• 29:22
  Speaker 4: be super stressful. And I don't know. Do they know
• 29:25
  Speaker 4: where it is? Like, I don't know.
• 29:27
  Speaker 3: I would, if they know where it is and, like,
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: when it's happening, definitely maybe change some stuff.
• 29:35
  Speaker 4: Like, change location and date or something. Well, a little
• 29:37
  Speaker 4: hard with deposits. Yeah. I would just expect. Yeah.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Or, yeah, and then have to. Well, that's why I
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: think she's trying to get new contact. Because if they,
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: you know, break contact, then jail. Update two, more than
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: a month later. My last update wasn't exactly a good one.
• 29:54
  Speaker 3: But I am happy to say this one will be. Yay!
• 29:58
  Speaker 4: I am officially married.
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: Yay!
• 30:01
  Speaker 4: Moved into a new home.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: Woo!
• 30:03
  Speaker 4: And I'm pregnant!
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: What?
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: The no contact orders are still fully in place and
• 30:10
  Speaker 3: will stay that way as long as possible. My husband
• 30:12
  Speaker 3: and I decided to have a very small, very low-key
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: ceremony at a cabin a few hours from our home.
• 30:18
  Speaker 3: We told everyone we invited that it was going to
• 30:20
  Speaker 3: be a Christmas vacation and to keep it a secret.
• 30:23
  Speaker 3: They all showed up and in the morning, we were married.
• 30:26
  Speaker 3: In our PJs, coffee in hand, surrounded by the people
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: we'd love. I mean, I love that. See, like, I
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: hate how you have to go through crappy things in
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: order to get, like, a.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: Very good ending.
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: I just want to have a happy ending.
• 30:41
  Speaker 3: Like, Trials and Tribulations and all, now, now it's like,
• 30:44
  Speaker 3: oh my gosh, now the water, or the sky is clear,
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: the waters have settled.
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: You gotta dig a little deeper.
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: I'm pregnant.
• 30:53
  Speaker 3: It could not have been more perfect and it was
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: needed after all the craziness. After we got back, my
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: dad asked if he could talk to my husband and
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: I alone.
• 31:01
  Speaker 4: Oh, no. I was reluctant, but agreed.
• 31:03
  Speaker 3: We met up at a coffee place, and he told
• 31:05
  Speaker 3: me that my mom had not told him the truth.
• 31:08
  Speaker 4: About what? Um, I don't know what to think of this.
• 31:13
  Speaker 4: What would the mom... What truth has she been hiding?
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: Maybe there will be a marriage and a divorce at
• 31:19
  Speaker 4: the end of this.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 31:23
  Speaker 4: What is it? Three weddings and a funeral or something?
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: I think it's four weddings and a funeral. Oh, so
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: many weddings.
• 31:29
  Speaker 5: Huge rant.
• 31:29
  Speaker 4: Did not like that movie. So much cheating.
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: More like huge rant.
• 31:33
  Speaker 5: Ooh.
• 31:37
  Speaker 3: She was telling him that I was seeking out my
• 31:39
  Speaker 3: brother and sister-in-law and had promised that their children would
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: have a place in the wedding and that I was
• 31:44
  Speaker 3: the one causing all of this.
• 31:46
  Speaker 4: Blatant lie?
• 31:48
  Speaker 3: He didn't truly believe it, but he's always been a
• 31:50
  Speaker 3: pushover when it comes to my mom and didn't argue
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: with it. He found all of the legal documents they
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: had been served and left her. He's now staying at
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: an Airbnb and in contact with a divorce lawyer.
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: You were right.
• 32:04
  Speaker 3: It's a marriage and a divorce. I forgive him, but
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: made it clear he is on very thin ice. He
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: understood and is actively trying to make it up to us,
• 32:15
  Speaker 3: which is appreciated. We moved into our new forever home
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: in a nice, secure neighborhood, and it has been a
• 32:21
  Speaker 3: breath of fresh air. No bad memories, no surprises, just
• 32:24
  Speaker 3: good vibes. So this will be my final update to
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: this insane situation. Thank you again for all your advice
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: and support. Happy New Year, and I wish you all
• 32:33
  Speaker 3: nothing but happiness. Dinks!
• 32:37
  Speaker 4: Okay, so it did work out in the end. In
• 32:39
  Speaker 4: the end, yeah. We eventually got there. Hopefully there's no funeral.
• 32:43
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 32:45
  Speaker 4: My God. Worried with the brothers' threats, but maybe the
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: court order will keep them away.
• 32:50
  Speaker 1: Like an apple.
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: Apple a day. Like an apple for a doctor. Quarter
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: order a day keeps your brother away.
• 32:57
  Speaker 6: Quarter order a day. And that's the end of this story.
• 33:00
  Speaker 6: We're going to go to the next one.
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Keon, the silliest goose. We're going to get
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: back to the stories, but here's three minutes of ads
• 33:07
  Speaker 1: from our sponsors.
• 33:09
  Speaker 4: I discovered my father spying on me years after doing
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: it on my mother. What's his name? Peepin' Tom? So
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: my parents got divorced a couple of years back. My
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: dad has been pretty involved with spicy workers and blew
• 33:23
  Speaker 4: thousands of dollars of family money on this habit.
• 33:25
  Speaker 1: He went like this.
• 33:26
  Speaker 3: This is a day I'm all ladies.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: So I'm guessing he has cheated on her multiple times.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: Think that's the implication okay i'm i'm just making sure
• 33:37
  Speaker 3: no he just likes to keep these ladies employed he's.
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: Like it's the oldest profession in the book i just
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: like keeping it afloat.
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: I just support women the divorce started out pretty amicably
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: but when my dad started to realize he was going
• 33:49
  Speaker 4: to lose a lot of his money he wanted to
• 33:52
  Speaker 4: cut my brother and i off of his health insurance
• 33:54
  Speaker 4: plan take away college money etc i was 21 at
• 33:57
  Speaker 4: the time and my brother 19th My dad was also
• 34:00
  Speaker 4: pretty intensely cyber-stalking and physically stalking my mom once she
• 34:04
  Speaker 4: had started to move on. He put a tracker on
• 34:07
  Speaker 4: her car, a key locker on her computer, all of
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: these things. We changed all of her passwords, and then
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: the next day she was locked out of her accounts
• 34:16
  Speaker 4: because my dad had changed them all back.
• 34:18
  Speaker 5: How?
• 34:19
  Speaker 4: How did he do that? He shouldn't be able to
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: do that.
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: He's a spy.
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: It took lawyers getting involved because of this intimidation to
• 34:26
  Speaker 4: get insurance details righted, college money restored, and get reparations
• 34:31
  Speaker 4: paid back to my mom for all the spicy money
• 34:34
  Speaker 4: he used. I contemplated cutting him out of my life
• 34:37
  Speaker 4: back then, but I just felt terribly guilty about all
• 34:39
  Speaker 4: of it, even though my brother cut off communications. By
• 34:43
  Speaker 4: the way, this comes from Shannon E3, and if you
• 34:46
  Speaker 4: want to submit your own stories, go to the r
• 34:47
  Speaker 4: slash showcase story time subreddit. And I'm Sophia. And I'm Savannah.
• 34:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm Keon.
• 34:55
  Speaker 4: And we're here to give good advice goofily, but we
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: don't have all the answers. We only know what we'd do,
• 34:58
  Speaker 4: so let us know what you would do in the comments.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: I hope he says. Fast forward to now, and my
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: dad and I have somewhat of a relationship. It's improved
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: a lot since the divorce years, even though I've caught
• 35:10
  Speaker 4: him in a lot of lies and shady behavior still. However,
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: I recently got married back in May, and my husband
• 35:17
  Speaker 4: and I found out we were expecting a baby due
• 35:19
  Speaker 4: in April. We've been working towards merging our finances when
• 35:24
  Speaker 4: I got a notification from my bank that the contact
• 35:27
  Speaker 4: phone number on my account had just been changed to
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: my dad's phone number.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: How? Yeah, how did the bank approve that?
• 35:36
  Speaker 5: How?
• 35:39
  Speaker 4: I just felt so sick. I know he was the
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: one who put that number on my account, which means
• 35:43
  Speaker 4: he probably yet again is doing something shady to access
• 35:47
  Speaker 4: my account. I told my brother about it and he's
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: livid and ready to confront my dad. And I think
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: I am too. I called my bank about the phone
• 35:57
  Speaker 4: number change. And while they won't give me the IP address,
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: the change was made from, they can confirm it was
• 36:03
  Speaker 4: done through a verified login. And it was not myself
• 36:06
  Speaker 4: or my husband. Can we tell the bank to like,
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: Never change it to that number, please.
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Or be like, oh, that's my. Unless I verbally call
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: you to change my number. Yeah. Like it's your account.
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: I guess unless at some point he was linked to
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: it and then just you thought maybe he wasn't on it,
• 36:23
  Speaker 3: but he's still it.
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: I don't know. So would I be the a-hole for
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: confronting my dad and possibly cutting off contact? In what
• 36:31
  Speaker 4: way would you be the a-hole? Yeah, what? You should
• 36:33
  Speaker 4: have done that years ago. He's getting into your life.
• 36:35
  Speaker 4: I'm so sick of being locked out of accounts, having
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: my private information screwed with, and at this point I
• 36:41
  Speaker 4: don't want my future child or family having to deal
• 36:44
  Speaker 4: with all of this intimidation and stalking. We've got an update,
• 36:48
  Speaker 4: but what do you think, Savannah? I think that he
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: is a freak, and... How is he getting access to
• 36:55
  Speaker 4: all of this stuff? That's what I'm wondering. Is that
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: what he does? Does he not have a job? It
• 36:58
  Speaker 4: sounds like he's just super shady. Or he works in, like, cybersecurity. Yeah,
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: hacks into people's accounts.
• 37:03
  Speaker 3: But they said it was all legal, what he was doing. Like,
• 37:06
  Speaker 3: it's a verified thing, so. But I just don't understand.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: Like, I don't.
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: It's verifiably hacked.
• 37:13
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 37:14
  Speaker 5: This is weird.
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: I don't know how he's doing this. This is strange.
• 37:17
  Speaker 4: You should ask Riley. Maybe he would know. How do
• 37:19
  Speaker 4: you hack into someone's account? How to hack? How to
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: hack into account? How to hack my daughter's account? So
• 37:26
  Speaker 4: I got a lot of great advice from this sub,
• 37:28
  Speaker 4: and I wanted to thank everyone who took the time
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: to respond. I ended up taking my computer into Geek Squad,
• 37:35
  Speaker 4: and they did find a keylogger on it. Ooh, tough.
• 37:40
  Speaker 4: They removed the keylogger, and I spent some time picking
• 37:42
  Speaker 4: a few files that I felt were safe to save
• 37:45
  Speaker 4: and wiped my hard drive. I'm set up now with
• 37:48
  Speaker 4: a new bank account that has fake security questions that
• 37:51
  Speaker 4: are written down on a piece of paper and filed away.
• 37:54
  Speaker 4: Now that my hard drive is wiped, I've also changed
• 37:57
  Speaker 4: passwords on every account and set up two-factor authentication on
• 38:02
  Speaker 4: every account where that is possible. We've got a little
• 38:05
  Speaker 4: bit left to this story. Any final thoughts? What is
• 38:08
  Speaker 4: a keylogger? I think when a third-party... adds some sort
• 38:17
  Speaker 4: of thing onto your computer that basically allows them to
• 38:20
  Speaker 4: hack your stuff. It's like an extra, like it's like
• 38:25
  Speaker 4: a virus thing. And he just has that? Yeah, you
• 38:30
  Speaker 4: usually have to have access to the physical computer at
• 38:33
  Speaker 4: some point. So maybe he saw her and, I don't know.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Do you want like the full definition? Because there's software
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: keylogger and hardware keylogger. Just to give you the general definition,
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: a keylogger, or keystrokelogger, is a type of surveillance tool
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: or malware that secretly records every key press on a keyboard.
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: Cybercriminals use them to steal sensitive data like passwords, messages,
• 38:56
  Speaker 1: and credit card details, while employers or parents may use
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: them for legitimate monitoring.
• 39:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but you have to somehow have access to the
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: computer first, whether... Virtually or in person. Maybe she's had
• 39:09
  Speaker 4: this computer for a while. It records every movie made
• 39:12
  Speaker 4: on your computer. Oh, you can copy and paste. Dying.
• 39:17
  Speaker 4: What a fool. Katie Pallon says, didn't know you could
• 39:20
  Speaker 4: have fake security questions for that kind of stuff. I'm
• 39:22
  Speaker 4: assuming that she means like, who's your kindergarten teacher? And
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: she just puts a fake name. Yeah, that's what I thought. too.
• 39:31
  Speaker 4: Many of you advised against having a conversation with my father,
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: but my brother and I ultimately decided that for the
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: sake of closure, it was something that we needed. He
• 39:40
  Speaker 4: of course denied everything. And while the conversation was frustrating
• 39:44
  Speaker 4: to say the least, it also gave me the permission
• 39:46
  Speaker 4: I needed to let go of him and go no contact.
• 39:50
  Speaker 4: We've contacted the authorities about the bank account change and
• 39:53
  Speaker 4: are in the process of opening an investigation. We made
• 39:57
  Speaker 4: that clear to my father in the conversation as well
• 39:59
  Speaker 4: to hopefully dissuade any further intrusion attempts. My hard drive
• 40:03
  Speaker 4: is clean. I've blocked his email address and phone number
• 40:06
  Speaker 4: and have deleted all old emails that could contain downloadable
• 40:10
  Speaker 4: files and malware. This is going to be a long
• 40:12
  Speaker 4: road and feeling like we're safe, but I think I'm
• 40:15
  Speaker 4: finally heading in the right direction. Thanks again for everyone
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: who commented on the original post. And that's the end
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: of the story. Oh, I would hate that.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: I mean, I have nothing to hide on my computer,
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: but like if my parents just like had access to it.
• 40:28
  Speaker 4: And then like would change stuff around. Oh, angry, pissed off,
• 40:34
  Speaker 4: la la la.
• 40:35
  Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 40:37
  Speaker 6: go to the next one.
• 40:39
  Speaker 3: My friends wanted my ex-wife to house sit while I
• 40:42
  Speaker 3: traveled with my girlfriend.
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: So I said no.
• 40:45
  Speaker 1: That sounds reasonable. I, 44 male, got.
• 40:48
  Speaker 3: Divorced recently after a pretty rough marriage. I've been trying
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: to move forward, establish some healthy boundaries, and build a
• 40:54
  Speaker 3: new life. I've also started seeing someone, and we're taking
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: a long weekend trip together. A close couple friend of
• 41:00
  Speaker 3: mine was supposed to come with us. The wife is
• 41:03
  Speaker 3: still very good friends with my ex-wife. The issue started
• 41:06
  Speaker 3: because we both have dogs. Their preferred solution was for
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: my ex-wife to stay at my house while I was
• 41:12
  Speaker 3: away and watch my dogs. She would also watch their dog.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: The thing is, I've done this before. My ex-wife has
• 41:18
  Speaker 3: stayed at my house while I was out of town
• 41:20
  Speaker 3: every time it seemed to create some kind.
• 41:23
  Speaker 5: Of issue afterwards.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: Comments about things in my house, comments about how I'm living,
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: questions about stuff that frankly isn't her business anymore. Nothing huge,
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: but enough where I realized I don't really want to
• 41:33
  Speaker 3: keep doing it. So this time I said no.
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: By the way, this.
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: Comes from RemoteDiligent7640, and if you want to submit your
• 41:42
  Speaker 3: own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: I'm Savannah.
• 41:45
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 41:46
  Speaker 3: And we're here to talk about some stuff, give some
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: advice in a little goofy way, but we don't have
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: all your answers. We only tell you what we would do,
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: but let us know what you would do.
• 41:54
  Speaker 4: Down in the comments. As Opie says... I didn't just
• 41:58
  Speaker 4: leave them hanging either.
• 41:59
  Speaker 3: We have a babysitter slash pet sitter that we've used
• 42:02
  Speaker 3: for years. She's responsible, knows the dogs, and was willing
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: to help both of us. I thought it was a
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: pretty reasonable solution.
• 42:09
  Speaker 1: I don't understand why we have to use your ex-wife
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: for this.
• 42:11
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it sounds better than the other option.
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: You literally have someone that you pay and their title
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: is pet sitter. Why do we need to use your ex-wife?
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, if your friends want to use your ex-wife, cool,
• 42:22
  Speaker 3: but you can use the pet sitter.
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, keep going.
• 42:25
  Speaker 4: Call me crazy.
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: Crazy.
• 42:27
  Speaker 3: My friend's wife wasn't comfortable with that. She only wanted
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: my ex-wife. At that point, they decided not to go
• 42:33
  Speaker 3: on the trip. Now they're upset with me. My buddy
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: basically told me that if the rules were reversed, he'd
• 42:38
  Speaker 3: do whatever it took to make the trip work. He
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: said I was being selfish and that the whole thing
• 42:42
  Speaker 3: was BS.
• 42:43
  Speaker 1: What are you talking about? Why is this being selfish?
• 42:46
  Speaker 3: I just didn't want my ex-wife in my space anymore
• 42:48
  Speaker 3: because notice how.
• 42:49
  Speaker 4: She's an ex-wife.
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: Notice how I'm making a boundary with that. We also
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: have a pet sitter.
• 42:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: What are we doing?
• 42:56
  Speaker 4: Who does the same thing, but won't give me issues afterwards.
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: If roles were reversed, if you wouldn't want your ex-wife
• 43:01
  Speaker 1: to be doing that, right?
• 43:03
  Speaker 5: Exactly.
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: Unless if you guys are like amicable, but this is
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: a fresh divorce, my guy.
• 43:07
  Speaker 4: Part of their argument.
• 43:09
  Speaker 3: Is that a few weeks ago, we were all together
• 43:11
  Speaker 3: on Father's Day and my ex-wife and I were joking
• 43:13
  Speaker 3: around and being friendly.
• 43:14
  Speaker 4: Fair enough. I had a few drinks and was probably
• 43:16
  Speaker 4: more playful than I should have been.
• 43:18
  Speaker 3: But being friendly for a few hours at a family
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: event is very different than wanting my ex-wife staying in
• 43:23
  Speaker 3: my house while I'm away with my new girlfriend.
• 43:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and that's the other thing is like, I don't
• 43:28
  Speaker 4: want to come home to my ex-wife.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, how was your trip? Let's talk about it.
• 43:32
  Speaker 4: With my new girlfriend.
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: Yeah, be like, also, my new girlfriend? I was going
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: to say, what does the new girlfriend think about this?
• 43:39
  Speaker 1: Because I would feel like she's very uncomfortable with that idea, too.
• 43:43
  Speaker 4: I would.
• 43:43
  Speaker 3: I mean, if I was in the girlfriend situation, I'd
• 43:46
  Speaker 3: be like, ah, are you sure you can't use anyone else?
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I don't like your friends right now.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: Your friends are pissing me off.
• 43:53
  Speaker 3: Also, just because I allowed something before doesn't mean I
• 43:56
  Speaker 3: have to be comfortable with it forever. True. Sometimes you
• 43:59
  Speaker 3: do something a few times and then realize, yeah, this
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: actually isn't healthy for me. For additional context, my friends
• 44:05
  Speaker 3: know exactly what happened in my marriage and how difficult
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: the divorce was. That's part of why I'm so surprised
• 44:10
  Speaker 3: by the reaction. What bothers me most is that I
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: actually tried to solve the problem. It wasn't my way
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: or the highway. I found another option. They just didn't
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: like the option. I also can't help but wonder if
• 44:22
  Speaker 3: some of this has less to do with the dog
• 44:24
  Speaker 3: and more to do with the fact that my friend's
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: wife is still close friends with my ex-wife. and maybe
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: feels conflicted about going on a couple's trip with me
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: and my new girlfriend. I don't know if that's true,
• 44:35
  Speaker 3: but it has crossed my mind. So, am I the
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: a-hole for holding the boundary and refusing to let my
• 44:41
  Speaker 3: ex-wife stay at my house, even though it resulted in
• 44:43
  Speaker 3: my friends canceling the trip and now being angry with me?
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: I have so... Biggest question. It's your house. Why is
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: there even an opinion about who takes care of your
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: house and your dogs when you guys are away?
• 44:56
  Speaker 4: Yeah, and I'm sure you... both live in separate houses.
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: Like you live in your house and then your friends
• 45:02
  Speaker 3: live in another house. Like, are you guys going to
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: combine the dogs like while you're away or something?
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: Very confused by this. We're like, if you guys want
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: to use my, if you guys want to use my
• 45:11
  Speaker 1: ex-wife as like a house sitter for your house, by
• 45:13
  Speaker 1: all means.
• 45:14
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: What is my house?
• 45:16
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but I'm going to pay someone to watch my dogs.
• 45:19
  Speaker 4: And they're like, wow.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know.
• 45:21
  Speaker 4: I just don't want to do it.
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: You can also be like, hey, your relationship with my ex-wife? Cool, whatever.
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: Why are you not going on this trip with me?
• 45:30
  Speaker 1: What's the real reason? It's definitely not this dog sitting
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: thing or, oh, you want to use your ex-wife for
• 45:36
  Speaker 1: a house sitter. There has to be something else. There's
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: no way it's just because of that sole reason.
• 45:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think maybe the friend told the wife, their ex-wife,
• 45:43
  Speaker 3: and then now the ex-wife is like, oh, well.
• 45:46
  Speaker 4: You know, why would you even want to go on
• 45:47
  Speaker 4: that earth?
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: He's so immature.
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: Like maybe she's talking crap in her ear and she's
• 45:52
  Speaker 4: close with her still. So I don't know.
• 45:54
  Speaker 1: I'm looking at my friend like, bro, what?
• 45:57
  Speaker 4: There's an update.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 45:58
  Speaker 3: Did not expect this to blow up. I posted this
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: during the USA game, watched the game and crashed right after.
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: So I'm just now catching up on comments. I think
• 46:07
  Speaker 3: I addressed most questions with my edit below. Few things
• 46:10
  Speaker 3: I probably should have explained better. The couple lives directly
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: next door to me, okay. The original plan wasn't for
• 46:16
  Speaker 3: my ex-wife to stay at their house. The plan was
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: for her to stay overnight at my house, watch my dogs,
• 46:21
  Speaker 3: and then walk next door to take care of their dog.
• 46:23
  Speaker 3: Their dog is very old, very small, and deaf, so
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: I do understand why they were worried about having someone
• 46:28
  Speaker 3: unfamiliar watch him. I don't think that's unreasonable. That said,
• 46:32
  Speaker 3: the person I suggested wasn't a random stranger. She's a
• 46:35
  Speaker 3: babysitter slash pet sitter we've used, and someone we trust.
• 46:39
  Speaker 4: She knows our dogs and was willing to help with
• 46:40
  Speaker 4: both houses.
• 46:42
  Speaker 3: My ex-wife also lives about five minutes away, so there
• 46:45
  Speaker 3: were other possible arrangements besides her staying overnight in my home.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: She could have checked in multiple times a day, or
• 46:51
  Speaker 3: they could have worked something out directly with her. Another
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: wrinkle is that my ex-wife is currently watching her mother's dog,
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: and that dog has snapped at my neighbor's dog before,
• 47:01
  Speaker 3: so the situation wasn't quite as simple as, just have
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: my ex-wife watch the dog. One thing I also didn't
• 47:07
  Speaker 3: mention is that my ex-wife and I have children together.
• 47:10
  Speaker 3: This isn't just a house to me, it's also my
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: kid's home. Part of moving forward after the divorce has
• 47:16
  Speaker 3: been creating healthier boundaries around what is still shared and
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: what isn't.
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: What do we think?
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, things got a little bit more complicated here, but
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: it's still, same answer. Just have your ex-wife watch their
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: deaf dog house sit for them and have your own
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: house sitter. Don't care if you guys are neighbors, they
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: should understand that. Sure, I mean, Maybe it's a little
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: bit easier if you have your ex-wife do both, but
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: you don't need that. You have a boundary. You set
• 47:40
  Speaker 1: your boundary. Why can't your friends understand that that's not unreasonable?
• 47:44
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 47:45
  Speaker 3: And also, if she's watching another dog, she's watching her
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: mother's dog who doesn't get along with like the neighbor's dog, whatever,
• 47:53
  Speaker 3: then she shouldn't be going back and forth because one,
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: the smell, like the scent, it's going to, you know, Like,
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: just being with other dogs, like, the mean dog is
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: going to smell the scent, you know, whatever. And it's just,
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: I don't know, it's going to stress everyone out.
• 48:07
  Speaker 1: At this point, why do we need to figure out
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: a solution for our houses together? We live in separate houses.
• 48:16
  Speaker 1: Let's just go on our trip, figure that out. Great.
• 48:19
  Speaker 1: Your house, my house, two separate things, two separate problems,
• 48:23
  Speaker 1: two separate issues. I got my solution. You can use
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: my ex-wife for your solution.
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: Great.
• 48:29
  Speaker 1: Figured it out if your neighbors does it doesn't matter
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: whatever let's finish this up.
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: For those saying i'm being inconsistent because i've allowed my
• 48:37
  Speaker 3: ex-wife to stay at my house before that's actually part
• 48:40
  Speaker 3: of the reason i said no this time after doing
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: it previously i realized it wasn't healthy for me it
• 48:45
  Speaker 3: blurred boundaries that i'm trying to establish as i move
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: forward just because i was okay with something before doesn't
• 48:51
  Speaker 3: mean i have to keep being okay with it forever
• 48:54
  Speaker 3: I wasn't trying to stop them from going. In fact,
• 48:57
  Speaker 3: I spent time trying to find another solution because I
• 49:00
  Speaker 3: genuinely wanted them there. I just wasn't willing to make
• 49:03
  Speaker 3: the solution be my ex-wife staying overnight in my house.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: And that's so reasonable.
• 49:08
  Speaker 4: Exactly.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: You're setting a boundary and they need to respect that
• 49:12
  Speaker 3: as much as your ex-wife.
• 49:14
  Speaker 1: It also makes no sense. She lives five minutes away. Okay, whatever.
• 49:17
  Speaker 1: Maybe that's like the simplest solution, but we're adults. We
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: can have our own problems be solved by our own solutions.
• 49:24
  Speaker 4: If I don't want my.
• 49:25
  Speaker 3: Ex-wife in my house, then I'm not going to hire
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: her to watch my light pads.
• 49:30
  Speaker 6: Like, it just, it makes sense. And if they want to, if.
• 49:33
  Speaker 4: They want to use that reason for not going on
• 49:35
  Speaker 4: a trip.
• 49:36
  Speaker 6: Bye.
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: Bye. Okay, fine. You know what? See you when we
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: get back. Can you house it for us?
• 49:41
  Speaker 4: I was going to say that. Can you guys watch
• 49:43
  Speaker 4: the dog since you're not going?
• 49:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, great. Problem solved.
• 49:46
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 49:47
  Speaker 4: It's just, there was no reason for this at all.
• 49:49
  Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 49:51
  Speaker 6: go to the next one.
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: My husband left me out of nowhere after 17 years
• 49:55
  Speaker 1: and two kids.
• 49:57
  Speaker 5: That's rough.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: So, my husband is leaving me but won't give me
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: a reason. I just need a space to say what
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: happened before I start telling my children and family. About
• 50:06
  Speaker 1: three weeks ago, my husband and I had a long
• 50:08
  Speaker 1: talk where he said he wasn't happy in our relationship.
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: He didn't give me a specific reason, just that he
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: was not happy. I asked him to put more effort
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: in and see how we both feel after a holiday
• 50:19
  Speaker 1: he was taking with his friends. Well, during the holiday...
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: He rang me all day, every day, sent messages constantly,
• 50:26
  Speaker 1: told me he loved me at the end of every conversation.
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: It was so good having him be like that again. Today,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: after a few things happening that I wasn't happy about,
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: I asked him how he was feeling, and he said
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: he hasn't been happy for months, and that he wanted
• 50:39
  Speaker 1: to separate. I asked him to do couples therapy, and
• 50:42
  Speaker 1: he said no.
• 50:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, just because it's been bad for a couple months.
• 50:49
  Speaker 5: I don't know. It doesn't seem, it seems like something
• 50:51
  Speaker 5: else is going on.
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: I feel like something way deeper is going on here.
• 50:56
  Speaker 1: Let's find out. Opie says, I asked if he was 100% sure.
• 51:00
  Speaker 1: Are you sure that this is what he wanted? And
• 51:03
  Speaker 1: he said, yes. The conversation was a couple of hours long,
• 51:08
  Speaker 1: but that's the gist of it. He says he loves me,
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: but he's not happy when he comes home. I said,
• 51:13
  Speaker 1: you realize that you're not happy with dinner on the
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: table every night, a clean house, and a family that
• 51:18
  Speaker 1: loves you? I do 100% of the housework and pay
• 51:21
  Speaker 1: half the bills. By the way, this comes from user FancyParsnip3415,
• 51:25
  Speaker 1: and if you want to submit your own stories, go
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit. I'm Keon.
• 51:31
  Speaker 5: I'm Dakota.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: And we don't know everything, guys. Come on, look at us.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: Listen to us. Or don't. We only know what we do,
• 51:37
  Speaker 1: so let us know what you do in the comments
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: down below. As OP says, We've been together 17 years.
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: This hurts so badly. How can he decide that he
• 51:46
  Speaker 1: just doesn't want to be here anymore? We have two children.
• 51:49
  Speaker 1: I asked him when he started feeling like this, and
• 51:51
  Speaker 1: he said it was before September. I had no clue
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: at all. But you know what was happening at that time?
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: My mother was sick. so I didn't pay as much
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: attention to the relationship. Opie says, I'm glad my mother
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: passed away. Whoa. Oh, and didn't live to see this
• 52:07
  Speaker 1: mess of my life. Okay. She thought the world of him,
• 52:10
  Speaker 1: and she was so sure he'd never do this. I
• 52:14
  Speaker 1: can't believe this is happening. I can't afford the house
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: by myself, even with child support payments. I'll probably have
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: to move in with my 70-year-old dad once my rent
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: contract is up. He'll not be happy about me and
• 52:24
  Speaker 1: two teenagers uprooting his life, but I know I can
• 52:27
  Speaker 1: rely on my father. I am so angry. And we
• 52:32
  Speaker 1: have an update four months later. Any insight, any ideas
• 52:37
  Speaker 1: why our husband wants to be now ex-husband, Dakota?
• 52:42
  Speaker 2: I mean, the smart money move would be infidelity. The
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: smart money move is just, oh, he's been unhappy ever.
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: For a relatively a brief amount of time in your
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: relationship and doesn't want to do any kind of counseling
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: might be infidelity.
• 52:57
  Speaker 1: He could be also getting whispers from friends who are
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: single or like not in a serious relationship. And he's like, oh,
• 53:04
  Speaker 1: I wow, because probably started off young.
• 53:07
  Speaker 5: Yeah, but he's got he's got two teenagers too late.
• 53:11
  Speaker 5: You're stuck.
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: That's the life you chose. But maybe he was just
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: like maybe he's having that midlife crisis of dang. What
• 53:17
  Speaker 1: did I do with my life kind of thing?
• 53:20
  Speaker 5: Whatever it is, it's so earth shattering, he had to
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: immediately leave after 17 years.
• 53:25
  Speaker 1: Zero reason. Well, we have an update four months later.
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: Let's find out if we actually get a reason. Let's see.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: Opie says, so, so many people commented saying that he
• 53:36
  Speaker 1: was cheating. And guess what, Dakota? You get a gold star.
• 53:40
  Speaker 1: And anyone else who thought it was cheating, you get
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: a gold star too because he was.
• 53:44
  Speaker 5: Gold stars.
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: The full story came out a couple of months after
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: the separation. He had been sleeping with someone from work.
• 53:54
  Speaker 5: No way. Who does that?
• 53:57
  Speaker 1: Well, this guy couldn't even tell you, hey, I'm cheating
• 54:00
  Speaker 1: on you. And I just don't, I like that more.
• 54:02
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I like, I mean, no matter what he does,
• 54:05
  Speaker 5: he's the bad guy.
• 54:06
  Speaker 2: He's either the guy who randomly leaves his family for
• 54:09
  Speaker 2: no reason, or he's the guy who left because he
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: cheated on his wife.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: I just found out that he is living with her. Wow.
• 54:16
  Speaker 1: A while ago, he asked me to forgive him, and
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: he asked if he could come home. What a idiot.
• 54:24
  Speaker 5: He's like, can I come home also with my mistress, please?
• 54:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 54:28
  Speaker 5: Her place is smaller. I like our place better.
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: I said no. He hurt me way too much to
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: be able to come home. So, now they live together.
• 54:36
  Speaker 1: Little bit left here. Yikes.
• 54:39
  Speaker 5: Biggie yikes.
• 54:40
  Speaker 1: I don't know, OP. That's crazy. To have your relationship,
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: your world, your foundation, you didn't do anything wrong, and
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: he just goes and cheats on you.
• 54:50
  Speaker 2: Yeah, this is what you should do. Hire neighborhood kids
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: to throw rocks at him.
• 54:55
  Speaker 1: Don't worry, his karma will come sooner or later. OP
• 54:58
  Speaker 1: continues saying, I'm having some sort of feelings about this,
• 55:02
  Speaker 1: but I'm actually much happier. My house is so peaceful.
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: I love that I live with just my kids. The
• 55:07
  Speaker 1: freedom is unreal. Without him, I can do what I want.
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: There's no one to tell me to wash clothes, cook dinner,
• 55:15
  Speaker 1: or expect spicy sleep. I'm 100% sure he treats his
• 55:18
  Speaker 1: girlfriend better than how he treated me. I even got
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: myself a boyfriend. Whoa, moving on. Moving quick.
• 55:24
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 55:25
  Speaker 1: Good on you, OP. It's early days, but he treats
• 55:28
  Speaker 1: me unbelievably well. I'm so hopeful for the future. Thanks
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: for reading. And to those who gave me advice and
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: told me he was cheating, yeah, you were right. I'm
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: glad that cheater's gone. And that's the end of that story.
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: I think, OP, obviously, this happens every time in a
• 55:44
  Speaker 1: breakup or an end of a relationship where you go, No,
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: the good times, the good times, the good times. And
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: you look at the bad times too. And you go, wait,
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: the bad really outweighs the good sometimes. If the relationship's toxic.
• 55:59
  Speaker 1: And OP, you figured it out. You knew you deserved
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: better and you were being treated horribly. So let that
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: cheater be scummy somewhere else.
• 56:09
  Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story. We're going to
• 56:10
  Speaker 6: go to the next one.
• 56:12
  Speaker 1: Hey, it's Dakota, your favorite goofball host here.
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: And we're going to get back to the stories, but
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: here's three minutes of ads from our sponsors. My wife's
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: polyamory ended our marriage. Now she wants me raising her
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: new baby. That's a whole lot of no. I, 36 male,
• 56:30
  Speaker 2: have been separated from my wife, 30 female, for about
• 56:33
  Speaker 2: 18 months. We share one child together who's 8, female,
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: and she was the step-parent to my oldest daughter, 13, female.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: For the story purposes, I refer to my ex-wife as Mindy.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: The separation was mostly mutual. She wanted a polyamorous relationship.
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: We tried it, and it failed. Ultimately, it led to
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: our separation and pending divorce. Well, good on you, at least,
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: for being like, this is not working and it broke.
• 57:03
  Speaker 5: I'm so glad you didn't just stay.
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Before we separated, we had a monopoly relationship. A little
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: man in a top hat would make love to my
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: wife while I just kind of did my thing.
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: Here's your get-out-of-jail-free card.
• 57:17
  Speaker 5: She was Polly and I was Mono.
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: Along came Polly, from Indy.
• 57:21
  Speaker 4: Ew, gross.
• 57:22
  Speaker 5: Mindy was seeing Chad? Why would you pick that?
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: Because we have to hate Chad.
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: Once we separated, he became her primary partner while she
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: continued having other flings. Ironically, Chad and Mindy weren't actually
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: poly together. They just cheated on each other constantly. By
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: the way, this comes from MentalNoise9140. If you want to
• 57:44
  Speaker 2: submit your own stories, go to the r slash OKStoryTime subreddit.
• 57:47
  Speaker 5: I'm Dakota.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: I'm Keon.
• 57:49
  Speaker 2: We're going to read this story of this beautiful relationship,
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: and we're going to have our takes on it. We're
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: going to say what we think, but we don't know everything.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: So keep that in mind as you tell us what
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: you know in the comments. Their relationship is a walking
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: red flag. Cheating, lying, financial issues, and just about every
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: other unhealthy behavior you could think of.
• 58:12
  Speaker 5: I don't like Chad. You don't say. You don't like him?
• 58:15
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 58:17
  Speaker 1: I don't think we needed that context of you not
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: liking Chad. I think we knew you didn't like Chad.
• 58:22
  Speaker 5: I don't like Chad.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: I hate Chad. But you know what? Chad and your
• 58:26
  Speaker 1: ex-wife are better off without you.
• 58:29
  Speaker 5: That's right.
• 58:30
  Speaker 1: Well, yeah. That was called sarcasm.
• 58:34
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 58:35
  Speaker 2: I mean, they are better off. Because they don't want
• 58:37
  Speaker 2: to be with a partner who's loyal and cares.
• 58:40
  Speaker 5: They just want to.
• 58:42
  Speaker 1: They want a relationship on the hardest difficulty and said,
• 58:45
  Speaker 1: let's make it even harder.
• 58:46
  Speaker 5: I just want a relationship where they're like, can we
• 58:48
  Speaker 5: just cheat on each other constantly? That'd be great. My
• 58:52
  Speaker 5: kids don't like Chad. Mindy's family doesn't like Chad.
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 58:55
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: Wants nothing to do with Mindy anymore and hasn't spoken
• 59:03
  Speaker 2: to her since Mindy announced she was pregnant.
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: Over the last several months, I've started noticing behaviors from
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: Mindy that I feel are a little self-centered. She always
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: seems to be the victim in everything and everything somehow
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: just happens to her. And if something doesn't benefit her,
• 59:21
  Speaker 2: she wants nothing to do with it.
• 59:23
  Speaker 1: Wow. I don't know what happened, but she does not
• 59:26
  Speaker 1: sound like a good person.
• 59:28
  Speaker 5: She woke up to her girl boss reality. She's girl
• 59:31
  Speaker 5: bossing it.
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: Your 13-year-old's like, I don't like her. That's your mother.
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: Don't like her.
• 59:37
  Speaker 5: Stepmother.
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was still that mother. Mother.
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: We were together for almost 13 years and were genuinely
• 59:46
  Speaker 2: best friends. Since separating, we've tried to keep things as
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: friendly as possible for our daughter. The downside is that
• 59:53
  Speaker 2: she consistently tries to keep me involved in her life.
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: Months ago, she talked about terminating the pregnancy. More recently,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 2: she's talked about placing the baby up for adoption. She
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 2: regularly asks if I'll help with childcare support and raising
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 2: the baby.
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: Huh?
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 5: What are you talking about?
• 1:00:10
  Speaker 1: OP, this is where you do your very best duck
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: or goose impression.
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 6: You go, huh?
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 2: This woman's going to argue that you're a bad person
• 1:00:19
  Speaker 2: making her life harder, probably, because she got pregnant with
• 1:00:22
  Speaker 2: the man she left you for?
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 1: You know, if this was the type of person that
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: I was in a relationship with, I'd look at her,
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 1: turn to the wall, and be like, the wall is
• 1:00:32
  Speaker 1: better to argue with. Thanks, wall.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 2: Her relationship with Chad is an exhausting roller coaster where
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: she says she wants nothing to do with him, but
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: she also doesn't want to be alone raising the baby.
• 1:00:44
  Speaker 2: It's all incredibly chaotic, and honestly, I still have trouble
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 2: wrapping my head around it.
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 1: OP, we don't even know you guys, and we have
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: trouble wrapping our heads around it.
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm trying to wrap my head around why you
• 1:00:56
  Speaker 5: should know anything about it.
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 2: The only way, the only reason you should be communicating
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: with her is about.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 1: Your daughter.
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 5: Your eight-year-old daughter.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 1:01:04
  Speaker 2: Now for the reason I'm posting. Mindy's having a baby
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 2: shower in August. Our youngest, the child we had together,
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 2: is excited to become a big sister, while my teenager
• 1:01:15
  Speaker 2: wants absolutely nothing to do with Mindy, Chad, or the baby,
• 1:01:18
  Speaker 2: and I don't blame her. Mindy also wants me at
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 2: the baby shower, at the hospital when the baby is born,
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: and to help her after the baby arrives.
• 1:01:28
  Speaker 1: She really thinks this is the type of person who's like,
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 1: I am going to have, I'm going to make my
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: cake and have it too. That's crazy.
• 1:01:36
  Speaker 5: Is this like a brain tumor situation?
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: Like what in the name of the good Lord above
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: could possibly make her think that she's entitled to you today?
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 1: Raising this child like it's yours yeah maybe when you
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: guys were together.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 5: Yeah yeah maybe and.
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 1: If it was your kid is that what she's trying.
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: To imply i don't know they've been separated for 18 months.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: Go ask chad go ask the country of chad.
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah go ask go ask find a new primary chad
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 2: doesn't want to raise his baby find the guy who
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 2: does part of me does want to help Because I
• 1:02:13
  Speaker 2: want to be a positive role model for my daughters.
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: I want them to see that even when relationships end badly,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 2: you can still choose kindness and maturity.
• 1:02:22
  Speaker 5: But a much larger part.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 2: Of me feels like I'd be stepping back into a
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 2: life I've spent the last 18 months trying to leave behind.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: I'd have to use paid time off and spend the
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: day surrounded by people I either don't know or don't
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 2: particularly like and celebrate a relationship I don't support. I
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 2: don't want to create unnecessary drama, and I would tell
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 2: Mindy well before the shower that I won't be attending
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 2: so she isn't blindsided. I just don't think going would
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: be good for my mental health. I fully intend to
• 1:02:49
  Speaker 2: continue co-parenting our daughter and supporting her excitement about becoming
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: a big sister, but I don't feel like attending my
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: ex-wife's baby shower... or becoming part of her support system
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: is my responsibility anymore.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 5: Am I the a-hole for deciding not to go?
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: There is another update, but no, you're not the a-hole
• 1:03:08
  Speaker 2: for not wanting to be at this event.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 5: Let your daughter be at the event. You guys have
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 5: split custody.
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: Yes, I know you're trying to be a good role
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: model to your daughter, OP, and this is where probably
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: a lot of the comments and anyone you've told to
• 1:03:22
  Speaker 1: who actually cares about you goes, to be a good
• 1:03:24
  Speaker 1: role model, you can also say no. You can teach
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: your daughter how to say no and set healthy boundaries
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 1: when you know this isn't right. You literally said, my
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 1: mental health, my emotional capacity cannot do this.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 2: There's really more upside, I think, in teaching your daughters that, yeah,
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 2: sometimes things don't work and you don't have to become
• 1:03:49
  Speaker 2: shackled to it for the rest of your life just
• 1:03:52
  Speaker 2: because you want to feel like a good person.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 2: If your wife was a good person, she would never
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 2: put this pressure on you. She would say, I made
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: the decision to leave. I'm having this child completely outside
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: of my previous relationship with OP. Why in God's name
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 2: would I ask him to essentially help me father this child?
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 5: That's not his.
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: That just doesn't make any sense. Yeah, it's the thing of, uh,
• 1:04:18
  Speaker 1: you can teach your daughter this. Before you make anyone
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 1: else happy, do what's best for you first.
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and I don't know about, I mean, I don't
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: know if I would suggest tempering your eight-year-old's expectations about being.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 5: The big sister.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: That, too. Very weird.
• 1:04:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because it's like, I mean, because it's to her,
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: her mom's having a baby. She's not old enough to
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: understand all that that entails. She will, I guess, at
• 1:04:43
  Speaker 2: some point, but should you temper that?
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 1: I'm wondering what Mindy's telling the daughter. Because Mindy said
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 1: to OP, oh, I'm probably going to put it up
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 1: for adoption because I don't have a father figure for
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 1: this child.
• 1:04:55
  Speaker 5: Mindy's made a mess. Update. First, holy cow, I was
• 1:05:00
  Speaker 5: not expecting this kind of response and I am truly
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 5: grateful for all of them. I'm located in the United
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 5: States and the divorce is being worked on.
• 1:05:08
  Speaker 2: Since her pregnancy announcement, things have been paused because we
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: will need to do a petition to disestablish paternity with
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: a DNA test. Once the child is born. Unfortunately, this
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 2: is not my first divorce where this has happened. Also,
• 1:05:22
  Speaker 2: I know I'm not the father. I was snipped back
• 1:05:25
  Speaker 2: in 2022.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: Snip, snap.
• 1:05:27
  Speaker 2: And we were not intimate with each other during her
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 2: conception time frame. I will not be attending the shower.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 2: I know that conversation is going to cause a war.
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 2: And that is the end of that story.
• 1:05:39
  Speaker 5: Why should it?
• 1:05:40
  Speaker 1: Why should it cause a war? That's how crazy this is.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Why would it cause a war to be like, I
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 2: don't like the relationship you have with this guy. You've
• 1:05:49
  Speaker 2: literally were like, I'm going to terminate the pregnancy. I'm
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 2: going to put the baby up for adoption. Now it's like, okay,
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 2: you're going to have the baby with this guy, except
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 2: you want.
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 5: Me to like help you raise it and support.
• 1:05:58
  Speaker 2: You and like take care of your child with this
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 2: dude that like, what are we talking about?
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 1: OP, this is going to be a one-sided war. I
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: think you're going to be fine. The fact that majority
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 1: of people, one, don't like Chad, but two, To probably
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 1: think Mindy is insane for this behavior, I think you're
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: going to be okay. Just tell her no. What is
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: she going to do? What can she do? I think
• 1:06:20
  Speaker 1: you'll be fine.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: I would track everything, just communicate with her through whatever
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 2: co-parenting app or, you know, just... You got to keep
• 1:06:29
  Speaker 2: everything strictly business with her, I think. Because she certainly
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 2: sounds like the kind of person who would try to
• 1:06:37
  Speaker 2: make your life miserable because.
• 1:06:40
  Speaker 5: You refuse to just, like, do exactly what she wants
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 5: you to do.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: Nah. Just honestly, you know what you need to do, OP.
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 1: I think you'll be okay.
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 6: And that's the end of this story.