Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Katrina Brownlee Tells Her Story Of Survival, Domestic Abuse, Resilience + More

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INTERVIEW: Katrina Brownlee Tells Her Story Of Survival, Domestic Abuse, Resilience + More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:01
  Speaker 1: Every day. Click up the Breakfast Club, finish for y'all.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Done.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Yes, it's the world's most dangerous morning to show the
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: Breakfast Club, Charlamagne, the God DJ Envy just hilarious.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: They're not here today, but Lauren.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: Lero says in and we have a special guest, the
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  Speaker 3: author of the new book. And then came the Blues,
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  Speaker 3: My story of survival on both sides of the Badge,
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  Speaker 3: A memoir Katrina brown Lee is here.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: How are you?
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  Speaker 3: I am blessed Black and Holly favors. You have a
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  Speaker 3: hell of a story. Where do you want to begin?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: Wherever you want to do well?
• 0:35
  Speaker 3: The memoir tells the story of you being shot ten
• 0:38
  Speaker 3: times and overcoming the domestic violence. What helped you find
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  Speaker 3: the courage to not only write this book, but just
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: to keep fighting for your life and I guess for
• 0:47
  Speaker 3: your future as well.
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  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, the first thing I say it was God, faith, God, therapy,
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  Speaker 2: and my children. That's what kept me fighting. That's all
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: I had was nothing else to even look at to say,
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: you know what I want to fight? Like when you
• 1:10
  Speaker 2: in survival mode, it's survival. You out there in the
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: wilderness all by yourself, and you just trying to figure
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: it out as you go along.
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  Speaker 4: The tagline of the book is my story of survival
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  Speaker 4: on both sides of the badge talk about, you know,
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: just the choice to make that the tagline, because there
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: was one point where you were keeping what you were
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: going through personally, the violenceeer were experiencing in your work
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: as a police officer separate.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: So in terms you're speaking in terms of what does
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: the badge on both sides? I mean, yes, oh, badge
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  Speaker 2: on both sides mean my life of me being abused.
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: I wasn't just abused in terms of a domestic violence relationship.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: And the book it also speaks about how I was
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: a child abused, child abuse, sexual abused, So I speak
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: about that, and then I speak about the fact of
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: me being a detective, being a police officer. So it's
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: badges on both sides.
• 2:09
  Speaker 3: And your ex fiance was a seal, correct, and so
• 2:12
  Speaker 3: he basically used to abuse his power, correct, put his
• 2:15
  Speaker 3: hands on your flash his badge and threaten you, you know,
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  Speaker 3: on speaking up right.
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  Speaker 2: I was the inmate and he was the correction officer
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  Speaker 2: at home. That's how it was.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: Yeah, that's pretty tough. What was it like for you?
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: Day to day at work, you know, just with everything
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: that you were experiencing being able to then deal with
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: other people's issues and showing up for other people, Like,
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: what was that like mentally for you?
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: It was so heavy for so many years because every
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: day that you go to work, you never know that
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: if somebody is going to recognize you or remember your story.
• 2:55
  Speaker 2: Because a few people did, you know, know my story.
• 2:58
  Speaker 2: It did make the news because at the time he
• 3:00
  Speaker 2: was a correction officer, So my name was Katrina Cook
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: at that time, and so it's Brown Lee. So a
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: lot of people didn't put two and two together. And
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: then when my story came out, a lot of people
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: began to reach out to me. So it was just
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: like a real difficult time just to work, and especially
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: work in the police department and with how can I
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: say it, not for but you know, work for an
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: organization that had failed me. So I went in with
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: the mindset of that I was going to change this
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: department and I was going to be this good cop.
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: But then when you go in you realize that this
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: is bigger than you. You ain't changing this. You're gonna
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: follow the rules or deal with the consequence.
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: I guess that was my question, Like just in everything
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: that you were dealt with then deciding to go and
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: be a part of force, It's like it's so much
• 4:02
  Speaker 4: that you can't change, but you get there to change it, Like,
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  Speaker 4: but you're also still dealing with your own stuff mentally.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: I just maybe my question is why, Like why did
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  Speaker 4: you think that you could break that system down.
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  Speaker 2: Because of all the pain that I had went through,
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  Speaker 2: everything that I had endured, Like, who was gonna save me?
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  Speaker 2: They couldn't. They couldn't save me, So I just try
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: to save myself. Got you.
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  Speaker 3: When you when you would call the police and you know,
• 4:30
  Speaker 3: he would flash his badge and then the officers would
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: would would leave. Did that just make you feel hopeless?
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  Speaker 3: Like how did you think he was gonna get out
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  Speaker 3: that situation?
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  Speaker 2: I'm to be honest with you. It was gonna either
• 4:43
  Speaker 2: be me or him, That's how bad it was getting.
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  Speaker 2: And the only reason what kept me from either killing
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  Speaker 2: myself killing him was my children because I was like,
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  Speaker 2: my kids gonna be motherless.
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: And I guess you know, Lauren was was was getting
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: at this. But I guess what I want to ask,
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  Speaker 3: how did that betrayal from the police shape your decision
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: to enter law enforcement yourself, mad.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I wouldn't want to, but I wouldn't want to
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  Speaker 1: be no cop.
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  Speaker 3: Like because you you call it a blue wall of signs,
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: we all call it the blue wall, but now you
• 5:20
  Speaker 3: another brick on that wall.
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  Speaker 2: To try to answer your question, like I said, like
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  Speaker 2: for me, I needed to be able to be protected.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: So in order for me to be protected, I had
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: to that was one of the ways to be protected.
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  Speaker 2: Like I'm gonna go in and I'm gonna because if
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  Speaker 2: I'm a cop, he they didn't give them a long sentence,
• 5:43
  Speaker 2: so he's coming out, So is he gonna come out
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  Speaker 2: and finish the job. But if I'm a cop, well
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  Speaker 2: is he not going to do that? He's not going
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: to behave that way right? And then my thing was,
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  Speaker 2: I want to go in and I want to be
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  Speaker 2: able to shape. I want to clean this place up.
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  Speaker 2: Like I had this mindset because I just believe that
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I can go in there, I can change, because I
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  Speaker 2: wanted change because I could not believe that you would
• 6:08
  Speaker 2: see me with a black eye, you would see me
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: with a busted lit and you would just say work
• 6:13
  Speaker 2: it out or you wouldn't even you wouldn't even address me,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm standing there, you don't say anything to me.
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  Speaker 2: But because he showed his shield, he had the right
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  Speaker 2: to what he did.
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: What's it like, because we hear a lot about like
• 6:29
  Speaker 4: when women are in these situations, there's this pattern of
• 6:32
  Speaker 4: almost feeling like sorry for the person that is abusing
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  Speaker 4: you were like just some sort of like savior, like
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  Speaker 4: you want to save them from like whatever the consequence
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  Speaker 4: may be, because you're trying to figure out like why
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  Speaker 4: it's happening or whatever the case may be. I know
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: he had tried to call and reach out to you
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: to have you say he didn't do certain things. Was
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: there ever a moment where you thought like it would
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  Speaker 4: be best for me to just be quiet about this.
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  Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, because I because he was a soul Pavida
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  Speaker 2: fire household. So I thought about it. I was like,
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: now he in jail, Like I'm gonna take care of myself.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: So I became homeless. So I thought about it. But
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: then I just said to myself, now I'm not doing that,
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: Like I'm not gonna do that, like it's gonna be
• 7:13
  Speaker 2: it's whatever at this point. And so you know, and
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I speak about it in the book. You know how
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: his mom had written a letter and shot my name
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: and said that I had shot myself ten times.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: What How difficult is it to have these conversations?
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  Speaker 3: I mean, because you know when I when I see
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: your story, and you know, there's certain things I want
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: to ask, I don't want to trigger you. So how
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: difficult is it to have these conversations?
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  Speaker 2: You can ask me whatever?
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  Speaker 1: Okay?
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, if this is if this is a safe space,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: you can yeah.
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  Speaker 1: I mean just talking about it.
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  Speaker 3: And you know you got to relive it because you
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  Speaker 3: had to rewrite, you know, you had to write the book.
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: And then you know, now you ask me being asked questions.
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  Speaker 3: But you know you were shot ten times and you
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: were left for dead while you were five months pregnant,
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  Speaker 3: and they said they went it went on for an
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  Speaker 3: hour and a half.
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  Speaker 2: I don't I don't know how long it went on,
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  Speaker 2: honestly because I was in and out of consciousns. I
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: don't know. I just you know that part was told
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  Speaker 2: to me by the day by the Ada, who now
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: is one of my good friends.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: How did you rebuild your identity after all of this happened,
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  Speaker 3: after being homeless, after you know, having to break down
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  Speaker 3: after being shot and left for dead, Like, how did
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  Speaker 3: you just rebuild your identity even become the detective that
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  Speaker 3: you became and you were part of the mayor of
• 8:32
  Speaker 3: security detailers.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot, a lot, a lot of therapy, a
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  Speaker 2: lot of therapy and a lot of God that that
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  Speaker 2: that is what helped me and just the will that
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  Speaker 2: God had given me to just want to live. And
• 8:50
  Speaker 2: when you get the will to live, then it's that
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  Speaker 2: light on the wall right there up in the ceiling,
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  Speaker 2: and you follow that light and you low that light
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: to continue to go and that's your strength and that's
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: your power and then you get your power back. And
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  Speaker 2: so that's what it was for me, because that's all
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  Speaker 2: I had.
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: Do you truly forgive somebody when they do something that
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: hangs to you.
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  Speaker 2: I had to because I was angry. I was so bitter.
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: I was bitter. And when you better at that.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Level, who is some tissue brand.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: When you better at that level, thank you. If you
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: do not forgive, you become a product of that. And
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  Speaker 2: I just did not want to be that. I was
• 9:47
  Speaker 2: broken long enough. And in order for you to get
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: into a situation like that, it had to be a
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: story that happened. We don't. We don't wake up and
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: get into these relationships. So I came from transgenerational trauma,
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: and that's how I wind up in a situation where
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: a man shoots me ten times and abuse me.
• 10:20
  Speaker 4: Talk a bit about the chapter Until we Meet Again.
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: We talk about your mom, and you talk about just
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: you know, how everything that you went through made you
• 10:28
  Speaker 4: treat just being able to wake up and live every
• 10:30
  Speaker 4: single day. Why was it important for you to include
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: that chapter in the book.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: I did not have a relationship with my mother, so
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: when she died, it was like I got robbed, like
• 10:47
  Speaker 2: totally robbed, and I will never know what it feels
• 10:51
  Speaker 2: like to have a mother. So I just felt that
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: it was important to just speak about that because I
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: know that I'm not the only one that's out there,
• 11:02
  Speaker 2: and this book is not just for me. It's for
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: all people that can be able to relate to my story.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: And I just hope that it inspired people. I hope
• 11:15
  Speaker 2: it can change people life, and I just hope that
• 11:19
  Speaker 2: even for people that are abuses, that they can go
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: get help because abuses, they're broken and mental health is real.
• 11:32
  Speaker 3: What was the emotional turning point in the writing process
• 11:35
  Speaker 3: of this book that that just made you feel like
• 11:38
  Speaker 3: a little lighter.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: Because I wasn't able to really tell the story. I
• 11:43
  Speaker 2: wasn't it. So it was like this was so it
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: was like I'm finally getting everything out now, Like it
• 11:51
  Speaker 2: was like I'm being honest, like being constipated, like for
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: for so many years, I get that up there, you
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: got right there. Then you go right there that part,
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: and so that's what I'm telling you. That's exactly how
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I felt, and it felt so good, and it feels
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: good to be able to now be able to speak
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: my truth and be able to tell the story. Even
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: I had friends that I had been friends with for
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: so many years that didn't even know my story. So
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: you sit out with your girlfriends, you hang out with them,
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: you travel with them, and they don't even know who
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: you really are, and you live in this bubble this
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: world because you you can't really tell because if I
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: would have told and somebody told the police department, they
• 12:43
  Speaker 2: were to find me because they wouldn't have want that stigma.
• 12:49
  Speaker 3: When you became an officer that you have more empathy
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: for law enforcement, Like did you realize why they were
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: the way they were?
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: Oh? Absolutely, Okay, let me tell you something that people
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: don't know. The cops, they get abused by the higher
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: upstare they get I'm telling you, they get abused. So
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: if you that's just like if you abuse your child, right,
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: a lot of times your child becomes an abuser. So
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: that's all it is. They don't get treated well there.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: So now if I'm not getting treated well, I'm gonna
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: go out here and protecting serf. I'm gonna go out
• 13:29
  Speaker 2: there and protect and be kind to people when I'm
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: not even being kind at home. The police, that's your home, right,
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: You there to protecting serf. You there and to go
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: out there and do your job. But if you if
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: you're being beat down and you're being told you're a loser,
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: and you're being told that you ain't right enough summonsens
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: or you ain't lock enough people up, and then you
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: get in trouble and if you tell and if you snitch,
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: the consequences. So how can you go out there and
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: really be effective?
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: What about the stuff that you were seeing aside, like
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: you talked about like the Chocolate team and the Vanilla team. Yeah,
• 14:09
  Speaker 4: and the different neighborhoods they would go to. That's right,
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: And it's well, I guess you should explain it for people,
• 14:15
  Speaker 4: the difference between the teams. And then I wanted to
• 14:17
  Speaker 4: ask you about you going to your boss and saying, hey,
• 14:20
  Speaker 4: they're doing the legal searches. You need to figure that out.
• 14:22
  Speaker 4: And the boss was like, I'm cool.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the chocolate team for the black team, and the
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: vanilla team was the Caucasian team.
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: And they went to So like, y'all are in different
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: neighborhoods or whatever. You decide to you see something that
• 14:33
  Speaker 4: you know is not right, you decide to go to
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: your higher up, your higher upsets. I'm not disturbing my
• 14:37
  Speaker 4: pension to correct a bad cop.
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: Right because a lot of times if you would tell
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: its consequences, it's real. It is really real, and this
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: is your life. You're talking about cops kill theyself all
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: the time, where you think they killing they self for
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: a killing they self because because they ain't getting enough
• 15:01
  Speaker 2: money or enough love. They're killing theirself because it's rail
• 15:04
  Speaker 2: in there, a lot of guilt and they can't be
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: who they want to be. They can't be their authentic
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: self there, so they got to be somebody else and
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: sometimes people can't handle that. Everybody mental health level is different.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I've been having that conversation a lot lately. Like,
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: you know, I feel like police officers should have, uh
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: should have to deal with mental health professionals, like literally
• 15:28
  Speaker 3: every year, every week, Like they should be sitting down
• 15:31
  Speaker 3: with mental health professionals.
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, Yeah, they have some hotline called Popper, But
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: I don't even think that those are those are people
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: that are actually equipped to be able to deal with
• 15:44
  Speaker 2: the trauma that police officers face every day. That should
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: be you. You make sure that it's mandatory training for
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: all these other different things that don't really matter, But
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: why you don't have mandatory mental health training for your
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: police officers so they can be suited and booted and
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: in a good mental state to be out there to
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: go out there to fight and be able to really
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: protect and serve. Right. So, if you want to have
• 16:10
  Speaker 2: a great police department, you gotta have a great police apartment,
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: and they got to be able to have integrity. You
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: got to be able to have police said, police officers
• 16:19
  Speaker 2: be able to just really show up for someone. That's
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: why I didn't want to be a domestic violence officer.
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: I was like, I'm not going there and go to
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: a call and it's a domestic violence officer, and what
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: I'm going to really do for her or what I'm
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: gonna really do for him? Come on, it ain't it
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: ain't it ain't. The system ain't get to help us
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: like that, especially people that look like us.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: Do you even now and share your story in the book,
• 16:47
  Speaker 4: you talked about switching units because of like just fear
• 16:50
  Speaker 4: of the things that were happening or whatever.
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: And what part are you talking through?
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: You talked about You said your arrested I think it
• 16:56
  Speaker 4: was one hundred and forty five hundred forty seven people.
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: It was like buses of people, and you were saying
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: that like being in arcotics was getting a little like
• 17:02
  Speaker 4: you were fearing for your safety. Oh yeah, Do you
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: feel for your safety now because you're talking about all
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: this stuff?
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: No, absolutely not. I trust God, you know, I believe
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: that he has me on an assignment and whatever is
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: gonna be, it's gonna be. I'm telling the truth. I'm
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: telling the truth, and I am here on whatever platform
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: to be able to speak the truth. And so we
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: got to stop lying to people, you know, we gotta
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: stop lying like we're not we're not being real with people.
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: Let's stop lying. Let's start telling the truth, and let's
• 17:47
  Speaker 2: start really showing up. And if we're not showing up,
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: then shut up.
• 17:54
  Speaker 3: But as you said, though, people are afraid to tell
• 17:56
  Speaker 3: the truth, especially in that system, because of fear of retaliation.
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, you know what, Sometimes you gotta do what
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: you gotta do, right, Sometimes you gotta do what you
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: gotta do. And I still quiet. And so now now
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: I get to I get to be able to tell
• 18:12
  Speaker 2: the truth. So you got to do what you have
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: to do and be do it with wisdom and knowledge
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: and understanding. That's how you do it, not saying go
• 18:23
  Speaker 2: out there and be foolish about it, but have some
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: wisdom with it.
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: I saw in an interview where you said, a good
• 18:30
  Speaker 3: cop is somebody with empathy who cares.
• 18:33
  Speaker 1: Yes, So what is a bad cop somebody who just doesn't.
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: Just don't care. Yeah, I'm just here. I'm here to
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: get I'm just here, got my uniform on and got
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: my suit on, and I'm here. A lot of cops
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: they didn't have an even Let me tell you something.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: I remember working with a partner of mine and we
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: were in the car and he said to me, he said,
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: you know, I never was around black people till I
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: came to this job, damn. And I was like, what
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: I said, So, how you gonna police us if you
• 19:10
  Speaker 2: have never experienced? And he dropped his head, and I
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: took him to my aunt's house and I said, I'm
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: gonna show you what black family looked like, because I
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: was story, ain't your story? And I took him there
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: and I caught my aunt on the phone and I said,
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna bring this young man to the house, and
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: she cooked this fried chicken and made him some real soul.
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something. This god caught me just
• 19:41
  Speaker 2: the other day and he said, thank you for the experience.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: So I wondered when you become an officer. Of course
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: there's people who just naturally don't have empathy. But I
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: wonder if you can go in with empathy but then lose.
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: It, oh one, because you can get right in the
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: mix with him. You can get right in it, and
• 20:01
  Speaker 2: it ain't hard for you to I'm telling you because
• 20:04
  Speaker 2: had I not had my experience, it's a great possibility
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: that that would have happened to me. Wow. Because you
• 20:12
  Speaker 2: really believe in you really believe in this, in this,
• 20:17
  Speaker 2: in this family. Because let me tell you something. Some
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: of them cops, that's all they got is that family.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: And I'm telling you they live and die. I mean
• 20:31
  Speaker 2: I got police. They are going in my comments like
• 20:36
  Speaker 2: trying to attack me, and I'm like, y'all know I'm
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: telling the truth, but y'all rather protect that than to
• 20:47
  Speaker 2: protect this. And I don't want people to feel sorry
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: for me because I'm not no victim. I've been victimized,
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: but I'm not no victim. And I want to be
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: real clear. And one person said in the comments, oh,
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: what more do you want? You retired a first grade detective?
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: What do you mean? I worked hard to be a
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: first grade detective. Ain't nobody give that to me. Have
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: I got gotten help along the way? Absolutely? But I worked.
• 21:23
  Speaker 2: I worked in them streets, and I worked in the
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: streets that looked like you and I because I understood
• 21:31
  Speaker 2: that had I not been there, things would have been
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: different for a lot of people.
• 21:38
  Speaker 3: Wow, you spoke about how you know you forgave your
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: ex fiance because you didn't want to have that bitterness
• 21:45
  Speaker 3: in you? Did you also have some maybe some empathy
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: for him because you know how he became that way?
• 21:51
  Speaker 2: Maybe I have empathy for him, because he a broken
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: man in pieces he made, he was never made up
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: of anything, no substance to him as a man. Any
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: man that can put his hands on a woman and
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: you shoot her and you beat her and you murder
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: your child, what what is he made of? Absolutely nothing?
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: You have to have empathy for him.
• 22:25
  Speaker 4: What about for your grandmother? Like did you ever get
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: to a place where you forgave her? Or like I
• 22:29
  Speaker 4: know there was something about like her when y'all first,
• 22:33
  Speaker 4: I guess I broke up. She knew what was going on.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: She was like, you know, work it out, figure it
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: out with him.
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: I never was mad at my grandmother because my grandmother
• 22:42
  Speaker 2: was a product of brokenness. Speak about that in the book.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: My grandfather left my grandmother for a white woman, and
• 22:54
  Speaker 2: that was the miise of my family. My grandmother never recovered.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: She died from a broken heart.
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: M You think abuses need rehabilitation of jail.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Time, I think both. I think both. While you in there,
• 23:13
  Speaker 2: you shouldn't be able to get your help, your healing,
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: whatever it is that you need, because if you put
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: them in prison and you don't do nothing with them,
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: or they come out and be a worse savage than
• 23:27
  Speaker 2: they already was.
• 23:30
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: I was like, ask, how do you deal with your
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: day to day now? Because like, where is he?
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Like?
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: What is he? I have no idea, I have no idea.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Do you still live in fear of him?
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: Absolutely not, absolutely not. I fear no one but God. M.
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: You know the title of your book alludes to the
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: to the blues, right, and you think of blues, you
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: think of like the music, the music. What does blues
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: mean to you and how does it reflect you know,
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: your journey from trauma to hill.
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: And then came the blues is my life and then
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: the NYPD life. Those are the blues, and then the
• 24:10
  Speaker 2: blues of my life. My life was blues on top
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: of blues.
• 24:14
  Speaker 1: M what color is it now?
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: Hah? White? That's right.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: You feel like you definitely came out on the other side.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you something, I've never been in a
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: better place. I have finally found peace. And when you
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: get peace, you will never allow anybody else to disrupt
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: that piece. I'm walking peace. I live for peace.
• 24:45
  Speaker 3: Do you remember the exact moment like you felt it? Like,
• 24:48
  Speaker 3: oh man, I feel free, I feel peace.
• 24:52
  Speaker 2: When I left City Hall that day and I retired. Wow,
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: I'm telling you, it was like a light just came
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: over on me.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: And my the ada that was on my case at
• 25:07
  Speaker 2: the time. She was there at my walkout and we
• 25:13
  Speaker 2: were leaving, and she said, I've been waiting to send
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: this post. Do I have your approval to now tell
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: the world what happened to you? And I said absolutely.
• 25:28
  Speaker 2: And when she'd pressed in it was it.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: Was there ever a moment of like when you had
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: to testify in court right or decided to? Was there
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: ever a moment for you where you thought you felt
• 25:44
  Speaker 4: that piece that you're talking about? But then later on,
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: I guess you realize that you're finally here, like because
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: I would think maybe that would bring you some sort
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: of closure or piece as well too, Or.
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: No, you mean testify with my I never got a
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: chance to testify.
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: Oh so when you showed up the court, they didn't
• 25:59
  Speaker 4: put you on the sand.
• 26:00
  Speaker 2: When I showed up in the court. And when I
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: showed up in the courtroom, he turned around and saw
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: me because he thought that he had that intimidated me
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: enough that I would not come.
• 26:12
  Speaker 1: From jail right to come to court.
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: And when I walked in and he saw me, he
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: whispered to his attorney, and the next thing I know,
• 26:21
  Speaker 2: they took me back out of the court room. And
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: the next thing I knew, like guilty.
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: Because you came to the first you told the DA
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: he was going to disappear, right, Yeah, I told her
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: I was disappeared.
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: And then the trial, Yeah, because she told me that
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: she was gonna hunt me down or something like a dog.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: I can't remember what she told me. She empty. She
• 26:43
  Speaker 2: had told me. She was like, that is you're going
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: to show And I'm like, for what, nothing's going to
• 26:48
  Speaker 2: happen to him? And everything that I said was going
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: to happen, it happened. Wow. And that's when people read
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: the book. You will see every single thing. How does
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: a man shoot someone ten times kill their child and
• 27:11
  Speaker 2: all you give them is five to fifteen? Tell me
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: how that works?
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Oh, because you're a black woman?
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: R number one?
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: Number two because he was part of the law enforcement. Yeah,
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: so he was protecting the on that's right, man.
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: That part.
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: So your decision not to want to show up until
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: day four, it was it was that was a decision,
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: not a fear.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: Basically, it was it was fair. And then I was
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: just like, it's nothing gonna happen. Like listen, it is
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: what it is like, We're not gonna play no more games.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I'm tired of showing up and y'are not showing out.
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: So am I gonna show up today? What's gonna happen?
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: If I show up today? When y'all show up, what's
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: gonna happen? It's something gonna change today.
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 28:01
  Speaker 3: I'm wondering being that you never told anybody your story,
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: and you know, when you would get calls for those
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: domestic violence cases, why did you tell people you weren't
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: you didn't want to be involved in them when you're
• 28:10
  Speaker 3: an auso?
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Because I can't what was There's nothing good in the
• 28:14
  Speaker 2: deplotment that really helped domestic balance victim? What? What? What? What? What?
• 28:19
  Speaker 2: Am I?
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: So?
• 28:21
  Speaker 2: Why would I do that to somebody else?
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Were you were kind of thinking to yourself, I might
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: go out here and be a vigilante and.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: Up No, I was.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: No. I like freedom I went to early on in
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: my career, I went to the JAIZ and did the
• 28:36
  Speaker 2: Scared program and I said, oh, no, no way now.
• 28:43
  Speaker 2: And that was one of the things that I wanted
• 28:45
  Speaker 2: to that I felt good about because y'all would have
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: fired me if I would have told you. But look
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: how I went and didn't have no scandals. We did
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: my job, I had integrity, I was respected and then
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: I and I left in a clean slate. I did that,
• 29:07
  Speaker 2: and y'all would have said that I couldn't have done that.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: And I've had people put in my comments that they
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: was being honest on their interview trying to get onto
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: the police department and told them that they would have
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: a victim and they never heard from the police department.
• 29:23
  Speaker 2: And I got it in my DMS, and I made
• 29:26
  Speaker 2: sure that I screenshot them. Wow, and my publicists, she
• 29:30
  Speaker 2: can tell you, I have she know that that that
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: I'm not lying, and they say, oh, she's lying. We
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: wouldn't a fighter.
• 29:42
  Speaker 4: Have any of the officers that showed up those times
• 29:44
  Speaker 4: when you did reach out to police come back and
• 29:47
  Speaker 4: been like, we should have done more, say that sorry anything?
• 29:52
  Speaker 2: Let me tell you when when when the story first dropped,
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: anonymous caller called me. A lot of anonymous police officers
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: were calling me and saying, you're a hero. I wish
• 30:05
  Speaker 2: that I had to strength to do what you're doing.
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: Thank you for being a voice. But I had one
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: called me and he said, I'm not sure if I'm
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: the officer that responded to you, because I worked at
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: the eight one at that time. He said, but I
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: want to say to you that I apologize if I am.
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: He said, I'm not going to tell you my name.
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: I believe he told me he was either a captain
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: or an inspector at the time that he retired. And
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: he retired and he had moved to Florida, and he said,
• 30:33
  Speaker 2: I just want to tell you that I apologize to
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: you and hung up the phone.
• 30:38
  Speaker 4: Did that do anything for you?
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: I just broke down and tears because I said, maybe
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: had you did something, maybe this wouldn't have happened to
• 30:52
  Speaker 2: my life. But he never gave me a chance to
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: say anything.
• 30:58
  Speaker 3: You know, just say everybody got to have a testimony,
• 31:00
  Speaker 3: right because then if you didn't have that testimony, you
• 31:02
  Speaker 3: wouldn't be where you are now.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: But damn.
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: You have to go through all of that.
• 31:08
  Speaker 3: You have the organization Our Young Ladies of Our Future,
• 31:12
  Speaker 3: which is a nonprofit organization that serves at risk young women,
• 31:15
  Speaker 3: and you have Can't Be Silenced and organization working on
• 31:18
  Speaker 3: solutions to the urgent domestic violence crisis. What made you
• 31:21
  Speaker 3: want to start both of those organizations, well.
• 31:24
  Speaker 2: Young Ladies of our Future. I wanted to start that
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: because I never wanted any young girl, young lady to
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: ever have to endure what I haven't done. So if
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: I could just be able to pour into them and
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: be able to change their lives and make a difference
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: in their life, I just wanted to be able to
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: do that. So that was the purpose of that. And
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: I teach workshops just about self esteem, self awareness, a
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: whole leap of things, and there can't be silenced. Peace
• 31:59
  Speaker 2: was because I had to be silenced for so long
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: and now I have a voice, and I am the
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: voice for the voiceless and the hope for the hopeless.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: So that is why.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: So do you feel like everything happens for a reason?
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I do believe that, you know, Charlemagne, When I
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: was a little girl, I was in so much pain
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: from what's going on in my life and I used
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: to now people call it a journal I had written.
• 32:31
  Speaker 2: I used to write my diary and I had lost
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: it when I had gotten older, and I found it
• 32:37
  Speaker 2: through moving and that was how I was able to
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: just write down so much detail because it was so
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: much pain and I was able to put it all together.
• 32:56
  Speaker 2: And I said to I said, as a little girl,
• 32:59
  Speaker 2: I said, I want to be I want to be
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: an author. I want to be a write. My grandmother
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: was a Liburian. God had to give me a story
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: to be an author.
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: Wow, ending your story and in the book. I turned
• 33:11
  Speaker 4: to the last page in your book.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, I want that to be a surprise.
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: Okay, because I thought just leave it.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I wanted to be a surprise.
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: I guess I rephrase the question. Then at the end
• 33:25
  Speaker 4: of your book, you choose to end it in a
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: very uplifting, like silver lining way of all of this.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: I want to say only Lauren would give away the
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: ending of the book.
• 33:34
  Speaker 4: Because because it's so sweet. Well okay, right, but I
• 33:40
  Speaker 4: think for most people, because they hear all of this
• 33:42
  Speaker 4: and then they're wondering, like, well, what is your personal
• 33:43
  Speaker 4: life like, like how do you?
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: And I want people to.
• 33:47
  Speaker 4: From that and you go ahead, Yeah.
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: I just I want people to know that dreams do
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: come true and that don't ever give up on your dream,
• 33:56
  Speaker 2: don't ever give up on yourself, because look what happened
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: for me, and if God can do it for me,
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: he can do it for you.
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: When did you first start truly loving yourself?
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, oh god, it took so many years. When
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: I met the Minister Lors Fabcon, all.
• 34:17
  Speaker 1: Praise to do to the minister. Absolutely for the minister.
• 34:21
  Speaker 2: Oh god, what twenty ten, that's when I started. Then
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: he's beginning to pour into me and it changed my life?
• 34:30
  Speaker 3: Was that when you were able to find I guess
• 34:32
  Speaker 3: you know, because they say you can't love anybody else
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: until you love yourself, so you able to find healthy
• 34:37
  Speaker 3: love in your life.
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: After that, I was able to find start to be
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: able to find healthy love and friendships and relationships right
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: because we attract what we are. Right. If you've broken,
• 34:48
  Speaker 2: you got broken homegirls, so let's keep it away, right,
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: broken broken relationships, It's only until you get healed and
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: made whole. And what is made whole, nothing missing, nothing,
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: damage is what's being made whole. Right, That's what that
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: looks like.
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: I just got a few more questions. What have you
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: learned about?
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: What would have been some of your biggest lessons in
• 35:11
  Speaker 3: regards to resilience.
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: The biggest lessons probably is like you gotta fight. I
• 35:24
  Speaker 2: don't care what I'm telling you, gotta fight. You have
• 35:28
  Speaker 2: to really really, like you gotta put on your box
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: and gloves, and like you gotta go in there like
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: you the heavy world, the world, the heavyweight world champion,
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: and if I'm saying it correctly, champion, heavyweight champion the world.
• 35:41
  Speaker 2: Like you gotta go into the ring with that mindset
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: that I'm gonna come out the winner. You cannot go
• 35:46
  Speaker 2: in there if you go in already saying that you're defeated,
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: You're gonna be defeated. And I was just determined, like
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: I got to win. I have to win. So every obstacle,
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm gonna get to the finish line. And
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: I got to the finish line.
• 36:11
  Speaker 4: You said that. I was just going to ask too,
• 36:13
  Speaker 4: about the photos in the art on the book, just choosing,
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: like how you chose the photos in the art, like
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: the back photo, the opening photos showing both sides of you,
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: Like how did you know what you wanted to pick
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: image wise to match what the book would be telling.
• 36:29
  Speaker 4: Because so on point oh.
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: That, let me tell you that was that had taken
• 36:34
  Speaker 2: a lot of meditation because I didn't, you know, because
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: of what's going on with the police. I was like, oh,
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to put that on
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: the you know, and I'm just like, it's just not
• 36:45
  Speaker 2: a police story. This is just not about a police story, right,
• 36:48
  Speaker 2: this is so much in it. So I'm just like,
• 36:51
  Speaker 2: let me put me and let me put the cop
• 36:55
  Speaker 2: and let's work it out like that. And then I
• 36:59
  Speaker 2: just sent it to my literary agent and she sent
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: me back some pictures and except what do you think?
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: And I said, let's do this, and that's how we
• 37:12
  Speaker 2: that's how we got there. And that picture there is
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: probably one of my favorite pictures before on the back
• 37:17
  Speaker 2: of the book.
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: He was so innocent because I don't see nothing.
• 37:20
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I'm looking and I'm like, I don't even
• 37:22
  Speaker 3: see the pain in your eyes, like you.
• 37:23
  Speaker 2: Just And I was in a lot of pain when
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: I'm I'm talking, and I was at the core pain
• 37:30
  Speaker 2: putting that shoe on, and I had I don't want
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: to give too much away, but I was in a
• 37:36
  Speaker 2: lot of pain, a lot of pain physically and mentally
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: that day. And I remember the photographer saying saying something
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: to me, and I just looked up at him.
• 37:49
  Speaker 3: If you could speak to your younger self, you know,
• 37:51
  Speaker 3: the twenty two year old you who survived that unimaginable trauma.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: What do you wish she knew in that moment?
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: Oh gosh, mmm, I wish I knew God. I wish
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: I knew what love felt like. I wish that I
• 38:12
  Speaker 2: had gave myself some grace and had a little bit
• 38:22
  Speaker 2: more patience with myself, and wish I could have believed
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: in myself. I mean, I can go on like it's
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: a lot. It's a lot.
• 38:33
  Speaker 3: What do you hope readers take away from your memoir,
• 38:36
  Speaker 3: especially those who might be navigating their own survival stories
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: right now.
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: I really hope and pray that people really, truly will
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: be inspired. I want people to also be empowered. I
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: want people to be educated. I want people to understand
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: the importance of loving yourself, importance of getting healed, the
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: importance of your mental health. And I also want people
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: to even have a little a different outlook on the
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: police department, because all cops are not bad. They're not.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: I just want, yeah, I just want officers to stop
• 39:22
  Speaker 3: ignoring domestic violence cases because you survived, like literally, like
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: you got shot ten times, survived and I'm just I'm
• 39:30
  Speaker 3: thinking about it so much because I just came home
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: from you know, South Carolina, you know, like yesterday and
• 39:36
  Speaker 3: I was told a story about a young woman named
• 39:38
  Speaker 3: Angel Caples, and she was thirty eight years old, and
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: she had been calling the police and telling the police.
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: I think it was her exo, somebody was going to
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: kill me. He's going to kill me because he used
• 39:48
  Speaker 3: to beat on her, beat on her, and for whatever reason,
• 39:50
  Speaker 3: they weren't taking her serious. And this dude came in
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: the house, shot and killed like six days ago.
• 39:56
  Speaker 1: You know, she's no longer here.
• 39:57
  Speaker 3: So it's just like, just like, I don't understand why
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: officers don't take that serious. If somebody says to you, heye,
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: this person is going to kill me, why isn't something
• 40:05
  Speaker 3: done immediately?
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: And the thing about it is that, look, this is
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: in a whole nother state. This is happening everywhere. It's
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: people from all over the world reaching out to me
• 40:16
  Speaker 2: for help, and I can't help them because there's nothing
• 40:19
  Speaker 2: in place for people that's in these situations. And I
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: really wish that the government would step up and do more.
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: We need policy, we need change because people are literally
• 40:34
  Speaker 2: dying out here, and a lot of people don't even
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: call because they know they're not gonna get help. And
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: a lot of people stay because where are they gonna.
• 40:44
  Speaker 4: Go homegirls in no situations?
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: Yes, So I'm just asking whomever Congress, somebody help please.
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: Why is it so hard for that to change though?
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: Because people you have, like you see people dying and
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: not making it. Oh, why is it so hard to
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: make it? Where if you call the police, they can
• 41:05
  Speaker 4: actually do something and that person kid just walk back
• 41:08
  Speaker 4: into your house.
• 41:09
  Speaker 2: Because it's not it's the system is just not set
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: up to protect it's not And we need change, right,
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: we need change. We go out and we vote for
• 41:24
  Speaker 2: people that tell us lies. Stop voting for people that's
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: not helping. If they are not doing the work before
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: they get in, why are you voting for them? Right,
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: we kind of stop just being a part of something
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: that's not real. They lying and saying, oh I could
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: do this, I can get this done, and nothing don't
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: get done. And then when they and then when they
• 41:57
  Speaker 2: get into office, they act like they know even had
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: those conversations.
• 42:03
  Speaker 3: Wow, if people want to sign up for your seminars
• 42:07
  Speaker 3: or you know, be a part of the young ladies
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: of our future, it can't be silenced.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: Where they reach you Miss Dot Katrina four five six
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: and Katrina Brownlee on on Facebook. All my social media.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: Proforms, well, I'm glad that you survived, and I'm glad
• 42:23
  Speaker 3: that you're here to tell your story because this is
• 42:25
  Speaker 3: going to help somebody. So and then came the Blues,
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: My story of survival on both sides of the Badge,
• 42:31
  Speaker 3: a memoir from Katrina Brownlee, is available everywhere. Now, my
• 42:35
  Speaker 3: last question one word that describes your journey hmm.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: One of the last word to describe my journey. Ah, God,
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I made it. I made it.
• 42:52
  Speaker 1: It's Katrina Brownlee. It's the Breakfast Club.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: Thank you for coming, thank you for having me.
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: Every day I wake last up the Breakfast Club. You'll
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: finish and y'all dump
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: H