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Homeschooling with the End in Mind · Overwhelmed to Overcomer

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  What is up, sweet friend?
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  Okay, we're going to start with prayer and then this is going to be a short episode.
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  It really is.
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  I got some beautiful wisdom from a leader of mine and just such a gift in my life.
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  And she has been podcasting for years.
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  She said, listen, mix it up, have short, have long.
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  That way you're really able to add value without it feeling like.
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  You're just, it's always kind of a beast to dig into the content, both for me
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  preparing and then for you guys listening.
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  So just a thought today that I'm sure we're going to revisit and circle back to
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  more and more because it is such a huge part of my ethos around homeschool and
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  business.
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  But before I get into it, we're going to kick it off with prayer.
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  So Lord, I thank you that you are God.
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  I thank you that you cover us.
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  I thank you that you shelter us under your mighty hand.
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  And I pray that you would give me apt words for today.
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  that through the Holy Spirit, whoever listens to this would get exactly what
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  they need.
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  Give each one of us mamas who are seeking to homeschool, who are seeking to build a
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  business, who are seeking to ultimately, Lord, look to you and be faithful to, out
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  of gratitude for what you have done for us on the cross and through all of our lives,
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  really focus on how we can serve your people.
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  and serve your kingdom, your kingdom.
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  So I thank you that you are God.
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  And I pray that you would equip each of our hands to the task that we have before
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  us today, in your holy name.
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  Amen.
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  All right.
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  So here's what we're talking about today.
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  We are talking about homeschooling with the end in mind.
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  OK?
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  So when I was early on in my homeschool journey,
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  We were having babies every two years.
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  We had four kids in six years.
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  And I, I was really tired through my pregnancies.
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  I had a lot of fatigue postpartum.
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  So I feel like we kind of just dragged through many years, many, many years of
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  homeschooling.
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  Cause even once all the babies were here, then it was, we had some, we had some
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  learning challenges that we were navigating.
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  We had some personality challenges.
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  We had a lot of,
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  appointments and therapies and things like that that we were walking through.
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  And so every day I was like, what did we even do today?
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  I fell asleep and my children watched for years, you guys, for years, my children
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  were watching YouTube videos on animals that became friends with human beings.
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  Like that was what we watched and they loved it, but it wasn't, I just felt so
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  much shame and so much guilt around my homeschool journey.
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  So here is what I want to offer to you that was the lifeline I needed to
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  persevere because I really believed in the model of homeschool.
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  I wanted time with my children.
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  I wanted to sow into them.
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  I wanted to give them things that I did not receive, even going to a really good
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  school, as far as learning how to be emotionally healthy in relationships,
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  learning how to.
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  how to be good financial stewards, learning how to work from a place of joy
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  and mission and calling instead of working from a place of, What am I good at?
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  OK, I'll just go in all in on that very narrow view of education.
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  I didn't want my kids to be good workers.
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  I wanted them to be full, full people to operate in their fullness.
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  OK, so here is what the Lord gave to me that was so helpful in these times.
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  He
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  called me to look to the end.
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  And I've had this conversation with so many women over the years.
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  What do you want your children leaving your house knowing?
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  If we get really clear that life is learning, this doesn't stop at 18, there's
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  not some magical endpoint where you check the box and go, learned it all, great.
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  That is such a finite, limited view, okay?
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  There's a statistic out there, I don't recall the exact numbers, but the general
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  gist of the statistic is that most children have lost 95%.
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  It's over 90 % of the information that they have learned by the time they walk
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  across the stage at graduation.
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  In other words, by the time we graduate, the information that we've learned, we've
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  only retained about 5 % of it, okay?
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  That's...
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  That's crazy.
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  And yet here we are as homeschool parents comparing ourselves to the more
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  traditional education model, at least in this generation, the traditional education
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  model is public or private school and finding ourselves lacking somehow.
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  Why?
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  Why are we finding ourselves lacking?
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  Because we think somehow that the experts are going to stuff something into our
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  kids' heads that we don't have the competency to stuff into our kids' heads.
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  These are the, okay listen, there are two different theories of child rearing.
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  There are lots, but in this particular instance there are two.
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  There is this view of children as empty vessels that must be filled by an external
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  source, okay?
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  That's the traditional education model.
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  You need an expert to put the right stuff into your child.
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  And if you don't buy the,
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  right textbooks or you don't engage with the right content or material, then you've
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  missed it.
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  But scripture gives us something different.
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  That passage that says, train up a child in the way he should go.
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  And when he is older, he will not depart from it.
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  We use that as a verse to talk about salvation.
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  But I heard a commentator once say, it is not a salvation verse.
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  Okay.
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  It is a bent verse.
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  In other words,
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  Train up your child in the way that he is already headed based on his unique God
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  -given design.
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  And when he is older, he will basically grow in the correct way.
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  Okay?
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  Find his loves, find his skills, find his giftings and his callings and his unique
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  nature and draw it out of him.
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  Our children are not empty vessels.
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  They are...
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  distinct souls marked by the fingerprint of God with a unique design and
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  competency.
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  And anybody who has more than one child knows this very well.
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  My children were different from pregnancy.
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  I could tell this is a different person, even at that young age, that pre -birth
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  age, they were different people, okay?
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  so much more as they grow, they become more of who they are.
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  My dad had this great line that he said, and for those who have heard other
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  episodes, he's passed away.
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  He's been gone for two and a half years.
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  But he would say, the greatest gift of being a parent is watching your children
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  become who you always knew they were.
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  Now, that doesn't mean there aren't plenty of surprises, as you know well, but they
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  are distinct people, and they always have been.
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  So friend, your job is not to stuff anything in your children.
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  It is to mine and uncover what is already there, to look at it and say, I see God
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  here.
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  You are really gifted in this area.
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  I notice you really love talking about this topic.
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  I see this ability in you.
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  It doesn't mean that we don't call them to grow and stretch into areas where they are
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  uncomfortable.
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  I've got one who does not feel comfortable writing.
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  We still write.
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  I've got another one who does not feel comfortable with, with, literally, so one
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  is like literature writing, the other one's handwriting, does not feel
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  comfortable with handwriting.
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  We still handwrite.
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  We do things that call us to stretch into uncomfortable spaces, but we double down
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  on who are you.
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  And that's where we spend the majority of our time.
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  OK?
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  I still haven't even gotten to the thing that I'm encouraging you all to do.
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  We'll get to that in just a second, because I want to finish this thought.
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  There's this principle that is called the Pareto Principle that says we get 80 % of
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  our output from 20 % of our input.
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  And this wasn't just a cool idea that somebody came up with.
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  This was actually statistically determined first in the area of something related to
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  building.
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  I can't remember.
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  This was an it.
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  This was.
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  a study that was done literally a century or so ago.
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  But then somebody else, so the man named Pareto figured it out in this one specific
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  instance, and then somebody went on to determine that it was actually a universal
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  principle.
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  So what that means in your business is that you will get 80 % of your leads or
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  connections or sales from 20 % of your time or your contacts, OK?
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  You will get
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  80 % of your revenue from 20 % of your product line.
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  You in your homeschool journey, you will get 80 % of your productivity, say, in 20
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  % of your time.
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  Okay.
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  So the goal is more and more to kind of trim the fat so that you are focusing
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  really well in your 20%, which will expand your bottom line in business, your
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  effectiveness and joy in homeschool, whatever it might be.
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  Okay, so.
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  We need to really help our children understand this principle and wrap their
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  brains around their time needs to be well spent in the area of their love.
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  Okay, because they're gonna get maximum benefit from a very small part of what
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  they are spending their time learning.
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  And that's okay.
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  That doesn't mean we throw away history.
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  It doesn't mean we throw away Latin.
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  It doesn't mean if you're a classics girl like I am, it doesn't mean you throw away.
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  you know, reading whole books or anything like that, but recognizing that they have
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  this unique bent, and that's going to be the place where they are the most
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  effective, the most productive for the kingdom.
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  OK?
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  All right.
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  So here is the principle that the Lord gave me.
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  Bring it all the way back.
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  Here's the principle that the Lord gave me.
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  I said it already, didn't I?
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  Shoot all the way to the end of the story.
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  What do you want your children walking out of your house knowing?
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  That's right.
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  And then I started talking about life is learning, and I got on a whole other
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  tangent.
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  What do you want your children walking out of the house learning?
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  I will share mine with you.
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  If it resonates, feel free to take it.
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  I want to hear what yours is, though.
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  Message me.
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  Find me on social media.
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  Let's have a conversation.
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  What is your list?
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  And I would suggest keep it really short as mine is.
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  So I, what I decided is I want my children to know and love the Lord with all their
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  heart, mind, soul and strength.
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  And I want them to be intellectually curious.
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  Okay.
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  I want them to be learners.
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  And my theory is,
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  We're not done yet.
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  My oldest is 12.
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  So I'll let you know how it goes.
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  But my theory is that if I can give them those two things, and of course I can't
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  create their relationship with the Lord, but as a precious mama mentor of mine
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  says, the Lord gave her this picture.
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  You lay the logs.
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  I'm the one who brings the fire.
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  Isn't that great?
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  I'm gonna say that again.
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  You lay the logs.
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  I'm the one who brings the fire.
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  Okay?
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  The Lord is the one who creates the intimate experience that who reveals
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  himself to our children as he has to us.
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  But we can lay the logs.
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  We can facilitate morning time with the scriptures.
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  We can be the one who rises in the morning and opens their Bible.
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  We can play worship music.
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  We can do Bible memory.
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  We can do devotions as a family.
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  All of these things, you know, lead them to the cross for worship.
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  And as I'm saying these, I'm like, Lord, I am not doing a great job on this.
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  I want more for my family.
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  I want more of this.
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  But we have set our sights, and that is our objective.
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  OK?
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  And then if I can teach them the wonder of learning, the beauty of learning, the
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  fascination of the world around us, then they will leave here.
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  and they will be able to learn whatever they need to learn and become whomever
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  they need to become to do their work unto the Lord.
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  Okay?
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  So what that means is for us, some days we're spending a lot of time navigating
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  conflicts because that's part of having a healthy relationship with the Lord is
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  understanding, you know, what is our sin nature?
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  What, what is the, what is the character of man, right?
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  Our fallen nature, how does that play out?
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  How do we rise when we fall in?
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  How do we own our part well?
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  How do we seek forgiveness?
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  OK.
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  One of our baseline non -negotiables to the best of our ability as a family is no
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  hypocrisy.
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  OK.
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  So our kids are going to see us modeling out and walking out what we are calling
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  them to as well.
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  And if you ever want to see a kid get real frustrated, introduce hypocrisy into the
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  mix.
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  All of a sudden, somebody else is held to a different standard than them, that does
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  not go over well.
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  Okay?
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  And the last thing we want to do is kind of like, suppress that in our children,
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  where they start to just become jaded and bitter and cynical.
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  where it's like, oh, well, that's just the way it is.
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  The little guy gets pushed down, the big guy gets to do whatever they want.
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  And then when I get to be the big guy, that's what I'm gonna do.
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  We tell our kids all the time, we too are under authority, right?
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  I'm under my husband's authority.
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  My husband's under the Lord's authority.
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  Like Jesus was under authority, right?
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  The centurion in the gospel said, I too am a man under authority to Jesus, which just
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  blew my mind for years.
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  He knew that,
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  Christ's power was rooted in Christ's submission to the authority of his Father.
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  And that's why he knew that Christ would be able to tell the, I think there were, I
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  forget if it was a sickness or a demon that was plaguing the centurion's servant.
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  And the centurion knew that Christ would be able to command this.
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  demon or sickness to leave this servant because Christ was under authority.
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  Okay.
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  So that's, so that's, sometimes that's school for us is just working through that
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  interpersonal relationship stuff.
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  Sometimes we are just in the car talking about, I just answer questions, right?
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  We're in the car for 45 minutes.
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  The whole time is just me answering questions and fascinating stuff.
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  Everything from, you know, detoxification pathways in the body.
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  In other words, like,
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  You know, sweat.
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  If you don't know what your detox pathways are, this is an important thing to keep
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  open.
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  Sweat, urine, I'm missing one.
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  Hold on.
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  I've got it.
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  It's coming.
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  Breathing.
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  Thank you.
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  And poop.
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  Those are your detox pathways.
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  You want to make sure they're all open and they're all working.
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  Okay.
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  Those are your primary detox pathways.
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  So we'll talk about detox pathways.
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  And then in the next minute, we're talking about heaven.
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  And then in the next minute, we're talking about forgiveness and we're talking about
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  difficult relationship situations.
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  And it's just like, this is school.
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  Engaging with the wonder of the world that the Lord has given.
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  So this is just your quick encouragement today.
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  Get clear on what your end objective is and give yourself a lot of permission for
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  each day to play out very differently.
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  Okay?
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  There are many things that are well -equipping for the future that your
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  children are going to live that don't look like traditional school.
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  And that's okay.
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  That's the beauty of homeschool.
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  Get clear on where you're headed.
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  Get clear on what you feel like the Lord is calling you to orient towards.
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  Get clear on your children's bents.
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  And when they are older, they will not depart from it.
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  Okay, friends, that's your encouragement today.
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  Connect with me.
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  Let me know what you got out of this conversation.
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  If these podcasts are blessing you, leave a review.
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  Let your people know, you know, we're just getting this thing started, but I'm gonna
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  keep showing up every Thursday, giving you guys what I can to encourage you on your
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  way.
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  I appreciate you.
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  Until next time, you have got this.