Latest / 12 Months to Marathon / 12 Months to Marathon - Episode 15 - Fear

Transcript

12 Months to Marathon - Episode 15 - Fear · 12 Months to Marathon

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to the 12 Months to Marathon Podcast with me, John Hill, the running podcast for the Over 35s with Marathon Dreams.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: Episode 15, Fear.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: So what's going on with me at the moment?
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Well, we're about 10 days out from HyROX as I record this.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: So the hamstrings held up well.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: Did a bit of a test on it the other day in the gym, did a sort of short mock version of the HyROX exercise experience, and it held up a bit well.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's a little bit tender, if I'm honest, today, and I think that's partly down just to the fact that I did push myself a little bit.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm trying to rest and recover as best as I can, both physically and mentally, and that's an important thing, I think, for any sort of tapering process.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: Is not only do you physically recover, but also you mentally recover as well from what you've been through.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm feeling quietly confident about high rocks, it's going to be an interesting experience.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: I think the psychological impact of getting an injury halfway through training has certainly uh had an impact on me, has had an effect on me.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: So it'll be interesting to see how that plays out when we get there.
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm feeling confident my prep's gonna be good.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, I'm not gonna do anything overly assertive in the next 10 days, just make sure I keep myself sharp and conditioned and ready to go.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk about fear today.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: Now, obviously, this is a very big topic because most of the things I like to talk about are so fear's a big one because I want to talk about two different types of fear specifically today.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_00: Um, the fear of success and the fear of failure.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Now, a lot of the time when we think about fear, we think about the fear of failure.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Or in running terms, we perhaps think about the fear of looking silly, the fear of judgment, these sort of things.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: So, like, for example, when you're starting a running journey, you will be afraid of what people will think, particularly if you're running outdoors.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if I think back to my own weight loss journey, which started you know 19 or so years ago as I record this, um, one of my biggest fears was going into the gym because you kind of expect there to be a load of buff fit people in there, and there's you looking like a potato in the corner.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: Running similar in the sense of you're very exposed, I think.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: When you go out running, I think you're very exposed, and it can be really off-putting for people.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: Now, there is a logical answer to that, which is that no one cares because they don't, no one's looking at you, everyone's worried about their own problems and looking at themselves.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: But that's easier said than done, because if that was the case, we'd all just you know, you know, summon our logical brain and go, right, let's let's go.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: It's not as simple as that, and I think for you to firstly conquer the fears you have, you have to understand fear within yourself and what it means to you.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I think if you understand it in those two ways, so fear of failure and and fear of success, you start to understand how much fear drives all your decision-making process.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because let's be honest, if you went out for a run now, to the best of your ability, based on where you're at and based on your capabilities, and everything was sort of safe and whatever else, then you'd be absolutely fine.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: No one would judge you.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: No stands a very good chance that no one's going to physically assault you or anything like that.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: So, you know, all these things are possible but very rare.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: So actually, your fear is of something else, and what you perhaps need to do, in my opinion, is look a bit deeper at the fear and what that fear represents within yourself.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: So, what's it trying to tell you?
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_00: What are you actually afraid of?
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And when you understand what you're actually afraid of, it's going to really help you make progress.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because is it that you're scared of people judging you, or is it something else?
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if you understand what that something else is, then you're more likely to make progress.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: But that's not all because some people are not not some people are not scared of failure, they're scared of success.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: Because what success brings with it is certain responsibilities.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say you want to be a good runner.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you need to be consistent, simple as that, and you need to be consistent all year round to the best of your abilities.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: That comes with its certain responsibilities because some people will say, like, oh I don't like running in the winter or I don't like running in the summer.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Well, if you take three, four months off running, it's a long road back.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: So you have to be consistent, and that comes with its certain responsibilities, the responsibility of being consistent.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So some people are actually scared of that versus the the fear of failure.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: So this you need to be very self-critical here and say what's actually going on.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And when I say critical, I mean constructively.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because when you understand yourself, you can understand what drives your decisions, what makes you do what you you do, and then you can interrupt it at source.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Because you're not physically scared of people judging you outdoors, you're probably scared of what you believe that means, if that makes sense.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: And let's be honest, a lot of people just want an excuse not to do something because it's hard.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: So let's say there's a comfort thing here.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: So here's a way to think about fear, particularly fear of looking silly, right?
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: So we're now heading into autumn, weather's turning quite a bit, leaves are turning, so on and so forth.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: It happens, it happens every year.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_00: Hopefully, it'll happen every year moving forward, otherwise, we've got a problem.
• 5:15
  SPEAKER_00: Now, comfort is needs to be looked at in two ways.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you chase short-term comfort, curling up on the sofa, that's gonna give you in your mind short-term comfort, but potentially long-term discomfort.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you keep curling up on the sofa, eventually that's gonna have an impact on your physical and mental well-being.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, if you go out for a run, it's gonna give you short-term discomfort, getting going for a run, worried about people looking at you, the weather, whatever it might be, but then it will give you long-term comfort because you'll be fitter, healthier, you know, have better mental well-being, and so on and so forth.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: So when you're when people are afraid to go out and run, one of the reasons might be that they just want to be comfortable, they don't want to be uncomfortable, they don't want to feel uncomfortable because it challenges us, and we we are always seeking comfort, and we're always seeking safety.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I think a lot of the times it's because it's uns we feel it's unsafe when actually it's not, it's actually discomfort, and that's where that's what leads to growth is conquering that discomfort, and that's why sometimes we say, I'm scared of what people will think of me, because we're making up a reason because we don't actually want to be uncomfortable, we don't want to do something that challenges us, we just want to be comfortable, and that's not going to work in the long term.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: So that's kind of fear of failure, that's where I think the fear of failure comes from with running.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's not that you're actually scared of people looking at you, you're scared of a what that might mean, and that might come from a previous past trauma or experience, which it could do, it could come from some previous exposure.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: Like with me, um, because I never felt good enough when I was overweight, I felt embarrassed a lot of the time, but not embarrassed enough to do something about it, which is quite interesting until I actually did.
• 7:00
  SPEAKER_00: So that then sometimes drives me now.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think well, I can't go for a run because people will look at me or judge me.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and actually I conquered that by just becoming better at it, really.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: I just became better at it.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um, now my self-conscious nature comes in if I'm like at the front of a race, like when I did Worcester, and I was at the front with all the quote unquote fast and thin people, that's when I get that fear of well, what's he doing here?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Because then I'm stepping up to a different level.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: But in terms of baseline running, I'm not scared of what people think anymore because I understand what it does for me, I understand what it does for others, I've seen how it can really impact people's lives, and I know it's a positive thing.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if anybody judges me for trying to keep fit, that I now know that that says more about them than it does me.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: Not that that ever happens, it never does, you know what I mean.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: So that's fear of failure.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you're not gonna fail by trying your best, and people really aren't looking at you, but you need to understand why that's a problem for you, okay?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: You need to understand why you think people looking at you is a problem, and if you understand that, you're able to let go of that feeling and then off you go and go for a run.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: That's fear of failure.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: Fear of success is who's you want to be?
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, we often get worried by responsibility because we have to become a different person, you know.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: If you most people you know enter a marathon and see the training, and they have that little wobble potentially and go, Oh, do I really want to do that?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: It's because that when I look round in my room here and I look at my medals and I look at my experiences, I think that's incredible experience.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And who wouldn't want to run the London marathon and have the medal and all that?
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: But the training's the hard bit, and the training what what's is what's um where you need the character, where you need the courage to go and do it.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, fear of success is well, what if I actually get this right and I become a runner?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: Then that comes with certain success.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sitting on the sofa doesn't bring with it any responsibilities at all, but running does because you've got to be consistent if you want to stay good at it and maintain a certain level, even if you don't want to go any faster or further, you still need to be consistent at the pace and distance that you do because otherwise you will lose those results.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: So the reason why people fear success is because that it brings with it certain responsibilities, and we don't want that.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Now, courage is a fantastic foundation to build from.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're looking to be successful and you're looking to run faster or run further or get anywhere, then that starts with courage, and sometimes every single time that that sorry that can be just one run.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: So you could just go out for one short run when you conquer that fear of people looking at you, or you feeling people looking at you, and that demonstrates a massive amount of courage for you, and that's all you need to start with.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to do anything grandiose, you don't need to go and run 10 miles or half mile, any of that.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: You just need to get over that barrier of the fear that you perceive and show some courage.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: And every time you show courage and do something brave, remember that and bank it in your resources, and your resources are your mental tools that you have and examples that you have of when you've overcome things.
• 10:10
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is normal.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some people say it's not normal, it is actually quite normal, but it's how you perceive it that's important, and it's you will you there's not going to be a point when you're not afraid, but there will be a point when you can say I can just master it and deal with it.
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: So there's that quote about the mastery of fear, you don't you don't get rid of it, you just master it.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I promise you, every time you overcome adversity, you build massive mental resources.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: You if you like go out in the sun when it's warm, when there's no one around, and blah blah, you have this lovely run, that's great, but you don't build any mental resources by doing that.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: You build some, of course, because you're still doing the activity, but you don't build that many because you're not doing it when you have to build that resilience, and that's how you overcome fear.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: But firstly, I want you to understand fear, I want you to understand fear of failure and fear of success because both count, and sometimes people think they've got a fear of failure when they've actually got a fear of success.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: But both those fears you have to overcome, and you have to show courage to say, Do you know what I can?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Those are two of the most powerful words you'll ever use.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_00: I can.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: You'll find a way to do it, you'll find a way to get through it, you'll find a way to make and allocate the time to train for the race, you'll find a way to push through when you're trying to hit a PB, you'll find a way to be disciplined and organized, you'll find a way to say no to people when they're trying to knock you off track, you'll find a way if it starts with I can, and that's where courage starts from.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: So, what I want you to get from this particular podcast today is I want you to understand fear first.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: So understand it first, fear of success, fear of failure, understand both, and then say what are the small things I can do to start overcoming my fears, so I build those mental resources.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because being afraid and not taking action, yeah, isn't going to move you forward with running.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: You can't you can unless you're injured, you can't not run and get results, and consistency is everything.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if you start to be consistent, even if you know, I always say the same thing: a consistent slow runner is better than an inconsistent fast runner.
• 12:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, or or you know, whatever, a you know, a short, a short, consistent run is better than a long and consistent run.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever however you want to badge it is up to you.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I promise you, if you do that, you'll be absolutely 100% successful once you understand what fear is, and then you build the mental resources by overcoming those fears, and it's those two words.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: I can.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: You will find a way, I promise you, if you're willing to do so.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: Fear is normal, understand the differences between fear of success and fear of failure.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_00: Start building the mental resources by overcoming them.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Not easy, simple.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not easy.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_00: This it's but it is simple.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: Understand fear, understand what it's like, the reasons behind it, and overcome it and find a way to do it.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: And you will.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely, you will.
• 12:56
  SPEAKER_00: And if that means running on a treadmill if you don't like running in the dark in the winter, 100%.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Because doing that consistently is better than doing nothing.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it's not the means, it's not the environment that's the problem here, it's the way you perceive and understand fear, and it's building the mental resources to overcome it.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: That's fear.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sure we'll revisit that at some point, but as you know, I like to keep these podcasts nice and punchy and short so you can just listen to them whenever you're doing whatever you're doing.
• 13:20
  SPEAKER_00: So I appreciate the support.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much for that.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_00: Please make sure to like this podcast and share this podcast and follow us as well wherever you get your podcast from.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: I'd appreciate that.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_00: It's very much appreciated.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_00: And if you could share it with any of your running friends or anyone you feel will benefit from it, that's really helpful as well.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to hop over to 12 Months to Marathon on Instagram and drop me a follow if you don't already for all your free daily content running tips.
• 13:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if you need to reach out at any point uh want to have a chat about running coaching, uh be more than happy to have a chat, you no problem at all.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_00: All you need to do head over to Instagram, 12 Months to Marathon, and we'll have a chat over there.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: So, fear, think about it, deal with it, and let's rock and roll.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you very much, and I'll see you soon.