Latest / Son of a Boy Dad / Son of a Boy Dad: Ep. 21 - Happiness is for Good Boys
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Hey Son of a Boy Dad listeners. You can find
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- 1:54Speaker 1: that we're funny as fuck during this episode. Nay your
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- 2:07Speaker 3: I'm it alright ready, Yeah, what's up? Everybody?
- 2:11Speaker 4: Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today
- 2:14Speaker 4: is September twenty seventh. What is what is up? Everybody?
- 2:19Speaker 4: Welcome back to Son of a Boy Dad podcast. Today
- 2:21Speaker 4: is September twenty seventh.
- 2:23Speaker 1: Why should we give a fuck about that?
- 2:26Speaker 4: It's just ritual. You got to say the date. Today's
- 2:29Speaker 4: September twenty seventh. It is Monday. It's approximately three forty
- 2:36Speaker 4: three fifty six, so pm.
- 2:39Speaker 1: It's a little bit in the afternoon. You know, we've
- 2:41Speaker 1: had into the date. But uh, you know, we've had
- 2:45Speaker 1: some conversations today. But that doesn't mean that we're not
- 2:48Speaker 1: fucking ready to give a piping hot Son of a
- 2:50Speaker 1: Boy Dad going.
- 2:51Speaker 4: To be a piping hot episode. Sit tight, strap in,
- 2:54Speaker 4: and just get ready to last.
- 2:55Speaker 1: We have a lot of shit to talk about. Oh
- 2:57Speaker 1: and tell them what they're going to hear about today.
- 3:00Speaker 3: Oh and hit him with the recount segment.
- 3:03Speaker 1: Give us a rundown.
- 3:04Speaker 3: Oh in sas crush day stand up set in front
- 3:07Speaker 3: of a sold out crowd. Okay, sold out shows. Missed
- 3:12Speaker 3: a train home to see his mommy.
- 3:14Speaker 4: Oh I did, and I forgot about that. Oh fuck,
- 3:17Speaker 4: that was actually super frustrating.
- 3:18Speaker 3: But it's not. It's not a fun story. Watched a
- 3:20Speaker 3: bunch of movies in bed, true, I watched four movies
- 3:22Speaker 3: on Saturday.
- 3:23Speaker 1: Jesus Christ, bro I thought that you'd be happy after
- 3:25Speaker 1: doing well.
- 3:26Speaker 3: At I wouldn't. Very It was a very fun day.
- 3:29Speaker 5: That's how you deal with your your joy by just
- 3:31Speaker 5: staying in.
- 3:31Speaker 3: Bed all day after. I feel satisfied.
- 3:33Speaker 5: But the week, yeah, really, Yeah, you have no wander
- 3:36Speaker 5: lust to.
- 3:36Speaker 3: Grow when you're grinding all week.
- 3:38Speaker 4: Landing to bed on a Saturday feels a lot better
- 3:40Speaker 4: than you think. You don't get rest days like that
- 3:43Speaker 4: often unless you've been grinding.
- 3:44Speaker 1: No, you gotta you gotta soak them up. Your body
- 3:47Speaker 1: tells you. Your body chemistry will just tell you it's
- 3:49Speaker 1: time to zunk out, Time to sit back on the couch.
- 3:52Speaker 1: Time to watch them black Hawk Down or whatever the
- 3:54Speaker 1: fuck you watched.
- 3:55Speaker 3: I actually watched. You ever seen like Split?
- 3:58Speaker 1: Yeah?
- 3:58Speaker 3: You're seeing the other like the whole Triill.
- 4:00Speaker 5: No, I haven't watched the entire trilogy.
- 4:02Speaker 3: Unbreakable and Glass.
- 4:04Speaker 1: Oh I have watched Unbreakable. Yeah, Unbreakable is the o
- 4:07Speaker 1: G Yeah, Unbreakable. So I watched Philly Brother. He takes
- 4:10Speaker 1: place in Philly.
- 4:11Speaker 3: It's true.
- 4:12Speaker 1: What do you know about that?
- 4:13Speaker 3: Uh?
- 4:13Speaker 1: They're walking around the football field.
- 4:15Speaker 3: Yeah, so I watched them.
- 4:16Speaker 4: I watched Unbreakable first, I've already seen Split, and then
- 4:19Speaker 4: I watched uh Glass and everyone Glass gets bad ratings.
- 4:23Speaker 3: People don't like it. I loved it. What do you
- 4:24Speaker 3: like about it? It's awesome that.
- 4:26Speaker 1: There was finally a guy that was weaker than you
- 4:28Speaker 1: on screen.
- 4:29Speaker 3: No, it was great. It was great.
- 4:30Speaker 1: It's like all related to the main character.
- 4:32Speaker 3: I felt very satisfied with the ending. How does it end?
- 4:36Speaker 5: I'm never gonna watch it in my life.
- 4:38Speaker 4: So basically, they all they bring in mister Glass, uh,
- 4:44Speaker 4: the Split.
- 4:45Speaker 3: Dude, Miss the Beast, and they bring in the Unbreakable.
- 4:49Speaker 4: Dude, Holy shit, and they bring them all. They're all
- 4:51Speaker 4: in a prison and they're like telling them that they
- 4:54Speaker 4: don't actually have superpowers, blah blah blah, all this stuff,
- 4:58Speaker 4: and then it's like so basically they're trying to convince them,
- 5:01Speaker 4: and mister Glass is like the brains of the operation.
- 5:03Speaker 1: And it sounds like my third grade teacher when they
- 5:05Speaker 1: said I wouldn't amount to shit, I know, which I
- 5:07Speaker 1: eventually put in several rap songs.
- 5:09Speaker 3: Yeah exactly, and uh yeah.
- 5:12Speaker 4: Basically, like they're in prison, they're in these like high
- 5:15Speaker 4: like these high tech cells, like they can't get out,
- 5:17Speaker 4: has all of their like triggers in it, so if
- 5:19Speaker 4: they misbehave, they like can't get out, and uh like
- 5:24Speaker 4: they the mister Glass guy plans an escape and he
- 5:26Speaker 4: wants to prove to everyone that they actually have superpowers,
- 5:29Speaker 4: just like in the comic books. So they go to
- 5:30Speaker 4: They're gonna go to like the most public place they
- 5:32Speaker 4: can find, and they're going to.
- 5:35Speaker 3: The standard hotel.
- 5:36Speaker 1: No, it's like this new, like this new the windows
- 5:39Speaker 1: at a standard and it's gonna it's gonna be like
- 5:42Speaker 1: a showdown between the Unbreakable dude and mister Beasts are
- 5:45Speaker 1: not mister Beast, the Beast and it's gonna be mister
- 5:48Speaker 1: Glass against the YouTuber. Yeah, it's pretty hard. It's not
- 5:51Speaker 1: only that easy to explain, but it works out really well.
- 5:53Speaker 1: Is this a Shamalan?
- 5:55Speaker 3: I don't know, is it? I think it is a Shamalan.
- 5:59Speaker 3: I think the original Uh didn't you say Bruce willis
- 6:01Speaker 3: Is superpower was that he could bench three fifty. No,
- 6:05Speaker 3: so it is actually kind of weird.
- 6:07Speaker 4: In the first one, they're like in the first one,
- 6:10Speaker 4: he so he gets in the car, he gets in
- 6:11Speaker 4: the train, act the train, the train derails, right, no
- 6:15Speaker 4: one survives except for him.
- 6:16Speaker 5: And he was a bitch before this, Like he's like
- 6:18Speaker 5: I can't I can.
- 6:19Speaker 3: Barely lift the bar.
- 6:20Speaker 4: Yeah, So he and they like he's benching to like
- 6:23Speaker 4: test his strength, and his son is like putting the
- 6:26Speaker 4: weights on and he's like how much was that?
- 6:29Speaker 3: And he's like, oh, it was two twenty five and
- 6:30Speaker 3: he was like that's too heavy.
- 6:31Speaker 4: Take the weight off. And then he does like two
- 6:33Speaker 4: more reps and he's like how much was that? And
- 6:36Speaker 4: he's like, Dad, I lied, I put more weight on it,
- 6:38Speaker 4: and they like keep going and he hits like threat
- 6:40Speaker 4: and like he does like three fifty eventually, and his
- 6:42Speaker 4: son's like how.
- 6:44Speaker 3: Much was that, dad? And he's like that was three
- 6:47Speaker 3: hundred and fifty pounds.
- 6:50Speaker 4: And it's like it's just something people can do. Yeah,
- 6:52Speaker 4: people at my gym bench through it. Like it's obviously
- 6:54Speaker 4: an insane amount of weight, but like.
- 6:55Speaker 5: But like people who are on no steroids.
- 6:57Speaker 3: Yeah, I knew a.
- 6:58Speaker 4: Kid that was in call I was in college with
- 6:59Speaker 4: who benched like three fifteen. Oh my god, that was
- 7:02Speaker 4: three hundred and fifty fucking pounds.
- 7:05Speaker 1: How much was that, Papa?
- 7:06Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 7:07Speaker 1: How much weights was that Yeah, it's I mean, it
- 7:09Speaker 1: isn't It is a lot of weight, and especially to
- 7:12Speaker 1: go from like pussy to that.
- 7:14Speaker 5: Yeah, but at the same time, I mean, so.
- 7:16Speaker 1: Basically the yes, like what Spider Man did.
- 7:18Speaker 4: At the end, they like all die and the lady
- 7:21Speaker 4: comes up to mister Glass right before because he is
- 7:25Speaker 4: the mastermind behind everything, and she's like, you guys do
- 7:27Speaker 4: have superpowers. She's like, we convinced you guys that you
- 7:29Speaker 4: didn't because we think things have we think things are
- 7:33Speaker 4: good the way they are right now. We don't want
- 7:34Speaker 4: more people realizing that they also have superpowers. So it's
- 7:37Speaker 4: like a government like a government operation.
- 7:39Speaker 3: Yoh.
- 7:40Speaker 4: But then what the what they don't know is that
- 7:43Speaker 4: mister Glass, he's so smart. He knew they were all
- 7:46Speaker 4: gonna get caught and get killed. So he had the
- 7:48Speaker 4: whole thing on recording and it was live being live
- 7:51Speaker 4: streamed the entire time, and then the clips get out
- 7:53Speaker 4: and everyone knows when they're already dead.
- 7:54Speaker 3: It's so sick. It was a great ending.
- 7:56Speaker 1: It checks out sham alone. Yeah, that had to be
- 7:58Speaker 1: a Shamalan.
- 7:59Speaker 3: Yeah, it was Alla.
- 8:00Speaker 4: It's all based on the comics, So like he mister
- 8:03Speaker 4: Glass's theory is that the comics are written as like
- 8:09Speaker 4: more like fantasized versions of like reality, so like everything
- 8:14Speaker 4: is based on like old.
- 8:17Speaker 3: History. Everything's based on history.
- 8:19Speaker 4: So like these people that have super strength, they make
- 8:21Speaker 4: them like into like Superman and stuff, and it's like
- 8:23Speaker 4: they can't fly. But like the original spot the original
- 8:25Speaker 4: Superman couldn't fly either. He was just a normal dude.
- 8:27Speaker 4: It was strong as fuck.
- 8:28Speaker 1: Holy fuck, that fucking blows your mind.
- 8:31Speaker 3: And now it's really good. You gotta watch it. It's good.
- 8:33Speaker 5: Do you fuck with superhero movies as a rule?
- 8:35Speaker 4: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, I love them? Why well, I mean,
- 8:38Speaker 4: Batman's like The Dark knighte. Dar Kind Rises is like
- 8:40Speaker 4: two of the best movies out.
- 8:40Speaker 1: But Batman is a different like flavor of superhero. He
- 8:43Speaker 1: doesn't have superpowers. His Avengers are good as fuck. You
- 8:47Speaker 1: like to think that maybe you could have that someday.
- 8:50Speaker 3: Of course, now I love the Avengers movies too.
- 8:53Speaker 5: That if you just put enough time in the gym
- 8:55Speaker 5: sometime you might just be.
- 8:56Speaker 3: Able to fly in visible fifty.
- 9:00Speaker 1: If that's all it takes to be a superhero, it's
- 9:01Speaker 1: fucking it's pretty sweet. That's just what NFL football is.
- 9:05Speaker 1: What did you eat in bed all day? Were you
- 9:09Speaker 1: ordering food and just getting just crumbing up your bed?
- 9:12Speaker 3: Yeah? I think so. I got Shakeshack at one point. Gross.
- 9:15Speaker 3: I know it was gross.
- 9:16Speaker 5: Nothing makes me feel more sluggish in the middle of
- 9:18Speaker 5: the day than having.
- 9:19Speaker 3: Shakeshack glad for dinner.
- 9:21Speaker 1: So did you just fall asleep right afterwards?
- 9:23Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 9:23Speaker 1: I don't mind.
- 9:24Speaker 3: Up another movie? Really? Yeah? Bro, you love a flick?
- 9:28Speaker 3: What movies did I watch?
- 9:29Speaker 5: That's how you fucking treat yourself.
- 9:31Speaker 3: I watched Unbreakable Glass.
- 9:35Speaker 1: And this is speaking the Traveling Pants. I watched Taken,
- 9:39Speaker 1: and I watched Flight with Denzel shut up. Not a
- 9:43Speaker 1: great movie? Which one is that? The way he lands
- 9:46Speaker 1: a plane upside down? Here?
- 9:47Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 9:48Speaker 1: Not a great movie.
- 9:49Speaker 3: Well, that's the good part. What's not great about that?
- 9:52Speaker 1: That has one of the most exciting sequences of any
- 9:55Speaker 1: film of all time.
- 9:56Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't know, it's a good scene. But then
- 9:58Speaker 4: after that, it's just like he's like a drug addict.
- 10:01Speaker 5: Oh, that makes it way more. That makes it fire.
- 10:05Speaker 4: Actually did see something interesting yesterday. I saw that United
- 10:08Speaker 4: and like twenty twenty nine is coming out with this
- 10:10Speaker 4: plane called like the United Boom, and it's gonna be
- 10:13Speaker 4: like a super jet that sits like fifty people, and
- 10:16Speaker 4: it's gonna be like you're gonna able to get from
- 10:17Speaker 4: like Newark to London in like three hours.
- 10:20Speaker 5: Mad people are gonna die from that shit.
- 10:21Speaker 3: Oh yeah.
- 10:22Speaker 4: And also it's fine. I think it's I looked up
- 10:24Speaker 4: as like five thousand dollars a.
- 10:25Speaker 1: Seed, fifty people. Yeah, why not just make it bigger.
- 10:29Speaker 4: Cause it's a jet. I don't think they can go bigger.
- 10:31Speaker 4: They can go faster, like they have to go. Big
- 10:35Speaker 4: things can't go as fast as small things. Brother, Holy shit, Bro,
- 10:38Speaker 4: that's that physical about that? That is some fucking crazy
- 10:40Speaker 4: ass physics shit.
- 10:41Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 10:42Speaker 1: Well, I mean I think that we are we're seriously
- 10:44Speaker 1: overdue for all transportation to be ramping up.
- 10:48Speaker 3: Oh yeah, big.
- 10:48Speaker 5: We need shit to be going faster.
- 10:50Speaker 3: We need we need super we need those supertrains, super trains.
- 10:53Speaker 1: We definitely that go from like La to to.
- 10:57Speaker 3: Boston in like an hour. That's that's really super. Yeah,
- 11:02Speaker 3: there's all these like blueprints for it.
- 11:04Speaker 1: But it's not. I think it's like it's like an
- 11:06Speaker 1: hour a knuckle or something like that, and it's like
- 11:08Speaker 1: two knuckles to Chicago.
- 11:09Speaker 5: It's like not, it's it's.
- 11:10Speaker 4: Like still like if you could get to Chicago from
- 11:12Speaker 4: it to la in like an hour, maybe even two
- 11:15Speaker 4: hours on a train, that would be awesome.
- 11:17Speaker 1: And Matt like, when I was in Hawaii, they were like,
- 11:19Speaker 1: we didn't no one could even fly to Hawaii in
- 11:21Speaker 1: the nineteen fifties, Like you had to take a fucking
- 11:24Speaker 1: ship to Hawaii or something like that. The fact that
- 11:26Speaker 1: those were the steps that were they were making back then,
- 11:30Speaker 1: and I feel like nobody's made like.
- 11:31Speaker 3: Massive Johnny progress.
- 11:33Speaker 4: We need we need to have a fuck like the
- 11:34Speaker 4: bullet trains in like Japan, but.
- 11:37Speaker 1: Yeah, but barely, yeah, like we need those.
- 11:40Speaker 3: Are you taking a helicopter fornight?
- 11:41Speaker 1: I am going to take a helicopter. But that's not
- 11:44Speaker 1: like helicopters are as fast as helicopters have been. It's
- 11:47Speaker 1: not like helicopters are getting faster, but I.
- 11:49Speaker 3: Can exciting, and I am excited.
- 11:51Speaker 1: I've been on a helicopter twice in my life. One
- 11:54Speaker 1: time over Dubai. It was fucking awesome, absolutely beautiful, damn.
- 11:58Speaker 1: And then the other time was at a Clemson game
- 12:00Speaker 1: and the guy was like retired, uh, like navy pilot
- 12:05Speaker 1: or some shit like that, and he was just dropping
- 12:07Speaker 1: the helicopter out of the sky to fuck with us.
- 12:09Speaker 1: There were like cameras on our faces, and he would
- 12:11Speaker 1: just like pull lever and we just like fucking dropped
- 12:14Speaker 1: like fucking an elevator and it was terrify. I told
- 12:17Speaker 1: him not to put out the footage because I was
- 12:19Speaker 1: so scared. Yeah, and you could like see it on
- 12:21Speaker 1: my face. How fucking terrified the footage if you tried.
- 12:24Speaker 1: I mean, there's someone here who filmed it. Who I
- 12:27Speaker 1: was just like, Nah, we're not actually gonna put that out.
- 12:29Speaker 3: That would be awesome.
- 12:30Speaker 1: I look like as big of a pussy as I
- 12:32Speaker 1: feel like I.
- 12:33Speaker 3: Would love to see that.
- 12:34Speaker 1: It was fucking terrifying. I mean, he dropped the fucking
- 12:38Speaker 1: helicopter out of the air over a lake, and he
- 12:40Speaker 1: was just like, ah, wait, do you see this one?
- 12:41Speaker 1: Boys just yanked.
- 12:44Speaker 3: He probably lost his license after that.
- 12:46Speaker 1: No, He's like that was what he was like supposed
- 12:49Speaker 1: to be doing. Yeah, like he was supposed to be
- 12:51Speaker 1: like fucking with us. He was like trying to give us.
- 12:53Speaker 1: They asked him if we wanted to jump out of
- 12:55Speaker 1: the plane. No, I don't want to do that. Yeah,
- 12:58Speaker 1: we saw the Navy Seals the former Navy that we
- 13:00Speaker 1: were going to jump with. And the guy looked like
- 13:01Speaker 1: the big Lebowski. He was in a chair like fucking sleeping.
- 13:04Speaker 1: I jumping with that guy. He's seventy years old. Yeah,
- 13:08Speaker 1: but they said that he was like the most badass
- 13:10Speaker 1: guy to ever jump. He would like jump into like
- 13:12Speaker 1: these he would land on like a five foot by
- 13:14Speaker 1: five foot thing in like South America and like kill
- 13:17Speaker 1: a fucking venezuela and drug lord or some shit like that.
- 13:20Speaker 5: They said the dudes were super bad ass.
- 13:21Speaker 1: But no, not for me.
- 13:23Speaker 4: No, jumping out of plans is not something I would
- 13:25Speaker 4: ever want to do, yeah at all?
- 13:27Speaker 5: Now what what even possesses people to be?
- 13:30Speaker 3: Like?
- 13:30Speaker 1: I wonder if I could fucking do that? Like flying
- 13:32Speaker 1: is a necessity. I want to get from point A
- 13:34Speaker 1: to point B. Yeah, Like I'm not just trying to
- 13:36Speaker 1: like scare my body into thinking that it's over just
- 13:39Speaker 1: so I could fucking feel something.
- 13:41Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't. I don't think I would enjoy even
- 13:43Speaker 4: like the dropping part. I would think I would only
- 13:45Speaker 4: enjoy like.
- 13:46Speaker 3: At all landing.
- 13:47Speaker 1: I don't like roller coaster now. I don't like going
- 13:49Speaker 1: over a hill too fast in a car. It makes
- 13:51Speaker 1: my penis feel weird.
- 13:52Speaker 4: Yeah, it makes mine feel weird too. I don't like
- 13:55Speaker 4: uh yeah, I don't like any of that.
- 13:58Speaker 1: Your phoenis feel weird too, Yeah it does, dude. I
- 14:01Speaker 1: remember saying that when I was like six years old,
- 14:04Speaker 1: Like I was being driven home with like my older
- 14:06Speaker 1: sister and one of my older sister's friends, and like
- 14:08Speaker 1: I don't even know if I realized they didn't have penises,
- 14:11Speaker 1: but I was like, wow, that that just made my
- 14:12Speaker 1: penis feel weird thrown over a bump and they just
- 14:16Speaker 1: like looked at each other uncomfortable, like what it did.
- 14:19Speaker 1: Like before you hear about your stomach dropping, your penis
- 14:22Speaker 1: feels weird, And I think it's your balls, right, I
- 14:24Speaker 1: think it's in your balls.
- 14:25Speaker 4: I mean it kind of feels like you're like it
- 14:27Speaker 4: feels like you have to like pee almost yeah, but
- 14:29Speaker 4: you don't.
- 14:30Speaker 1: And is it like a rush? Is it like adrenaline?
- 14:32Speaker 1: Is it like testosterone? Like what is rushing through your
- 14:35Speaker 1: balls that it makes you feel but your balls feel weird,
- 14:38Speaker 1: like your genital area feels weird when you're going over
- 14:41Speaker 1: a hump? Yeah, or like even watching I was watching
- 14:44Speaker 1: a video of someone throwing an airplane out their window,
- 14:47Speaker 1: like a paper airplane in New York and like my
- 14:50Speaker 1: penis felt weird. I don't get that, but like the
- 14:54Speaker 1: same thing, or like you when you're watching a Russian
- 14:58Speaker 1: like teenager hang from a fucking like a real high
- 15:01Speaker 1: building walking along scaffolding, like, yeah, I saw that paper
- 15:07Speaker 1: airplane too.
- 15:07Speaker 3: It was just a couple of folds, right, yeah.
- 15:09Speaker 1: It was barely any folds. It was just whipping around just.
- 15:12Speaker 4: To I mean, yeah, those videos of people like doing
- 15:16Speaker 4: parkour and stuff on top of skyscrapers pissed me off.
- 15:20Speaker 3: Because it's like, what if they fall and.
- 15:22Speaker 4: Then they die and then like everyone else has to
- 15:24Speaker 4: watch them fall from like a thousand.
- 15:25Speaker 3: Feet Well they did. There was one on Twitter like
- 15:28Speaker 3: a year or two ago, and it was just a
- 15:30Speaker 3: tweet from the top of like a skyscraper. But he died.
- 15:35Speaker 1: Yeah, motherfuckers die one day still. Or how about that,
- 15:40Speaker 1: uh that man on a wire guy? Yeah, fucking the
- 15:43Speaker 1: French guy who they who like tries to romanticize the
- 15:46Speaker 1: fact that he's just like a public nuisance and almost
- 15:49Speaker 1: gave people nine to eleven before nine eleven. He was
- 15:52Speaker 1: like he like gathered a crowd, he was like a
- 15:55Speaker 1: gathering a crowd before nine to eleven, be like, watch
- 15:57Speaker 1: what I'm about to do?
- 15:58Speaker 3: Yeah, he die?
- 16:00Speaker 1: No, he was fine.
- 16:01Speaker 3: There's a documentary about him, right, yeah.
- 16:02Speaker 1: I think it's called Man on Wire. I think there's
- 16:04Speaker 1: a couple of documentaries. It's a very good movie.
- 16:06Speaker 4: But at the same time, one documentary it's like supposed
- 16:08Speaker 4: to be one of the best documentaries ever.
- 16:09Speaker 1: Yes, that's the one.
- 16:10Speaker 3: Yeah, I felt so free.
- 16:12Speaker 5: It wasn't I've.
- 16:14Speaker 4: Never watched like, bro, you're doesn't his son do like
- 16:16Speaker 4: the same thing too. Yeah, son just wants to be accepted,
- 16:19Speaker 4: fulfilling the prophecy. No, his dad probably like you, you're
- 16:22Speaker 4: a pussy. Yeah, you don't fucking get I was on
- 16:26Speaker 4: twin Towers.
- 16:27Speaker 3: Yeah, Jesus Christ.
- 16:29Speaker 5: Yeah, that shit is terrifying.
- 16:30Speaker 1: And I don't understand what kind of lizard brain people
- 16:34Speaker 1: like that have. That's like, I need to feel something.
- 16:37Speaker 3: Yeah, I have no idea.
- 16:38Speaker 1: Just try stand up for a Yeah exactly, that's what.
- 16:42Speaker 1: That's what non funny people do. You didn't have jokes,
- 16:46Speaker 1: you'd be fucking dangling off fucking Patrona's towers. Fucking how
- 16:52Speaker 1: did how.
- 16:53Speaker 3: Did your stand up go?
- 16:54Speaker 1: Oh?
- 16:54Speaker 3: It was good.
- 16:55Speaker 1: It looked awesome.
- 16:56Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a good time.
- 16:57Speaker 1: It's on the YouTube right now, people can go watch it.
- 17:00Speaker 1: What played into your decision to put it out right away?
- 17:02Speaker 1: Because I feel like that's like a very generous thing
- 17:05Speaker 1: to do for your fans. But it also like if
- 17:08Speaker 1: you worked on any of that material, like do you
- 17:09Speaker 1: plan on using any of that again? Or is that
- 17:11Speaker 1: just all?
- 17:12Speaker 3: Like I think I'm gonna scratch scratch it all?
- 17:14Speaker 1: Why are you gonna scratch it.
- 17:15Speaker 3: Start from new? Because I mean I've been doing those
- 17:18Speaker 3: jokes since I started, so it's.
- 17:19Speaker 1: Like, yeah, but that was last week.
- 17:23Speaker 3: I've been doing them for a few months, and it's
- 17:24Speaker 3: like they get boring. Yeah, and we're pretty topical too, Yeah,
- 17:28Speaker 3: but they're not boring for fucking everybody. Like I'll probably
- 17:31Speaker 3: keep doing them at open mics and stuff.
- 17:33Speaker 5: Yeah, but now they now everybody has seen them.
- 17:36Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't really give a fuck.
- 17:37Speaker 1: Yeah, you just don't care. I people hear the jokes again.
- 17:39Speaker 1: I'm a content I'm a content guy, your content machine.
- 17:42Speaker 1: All I think is views. How can I get some
- 17:44Speaker 1: fucking views on this shit? And it did yet a
- 17:46Speaker 1: lot of views did really well, And that's why we're
- 17:48Speaker 1: gonna switch to talking about politics more often. Yeah, you
- 17:50Speaker 1: just want to fire people up on one side or another. Yeah,
- 17:54Speaker 1: fire the women. Women are indoctrinated to fucking to love politics.
- 18:00Speaker 1: That's facts. Everybody knows that about the females.
- 18:03Speaker 4: We need to start talking about true crime more to
- 18:06Speaker 4: win over the women.
- 18:08Speaker 1: Do women Like I was in I was on a
- 18:10Speaker 1: little true crime kick last night before bed, I had
- 18:12Speaker 1: the Sunday Scaries, And for whatever reason, sometimes watching like
- 18:16Speaker 1: videos of people like confessing to murders makes me feel
- 18:19Speaker 1: better about my Sunday Scaries.
- 18:21Speaker 4: Because you're like, oh, I don't feel as alone anymore.
- 18:25Speaker 4: You killed someone's.
- 18:26Speaker 1: Libs or just like us. Yeah, they're not that much
- 18:30Speaker 1: different from you and me.
- 18:31Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 18:31Speaker 4: I actually I watch a lot of true crime. I
- 18:33Speaker 4: don't listen Tony true true crime podcasts though.
- 18:36Speaker 5: I want to hear it from the horse's mouth.
- 18:38Speaker 1: I don't like anybody like telling the story or reenacting it.
- 18:42Speaker 1: I want to hear like the psychopathic grandmother talking about
- 18:46Speaker 1: fucking murdering her son in law or some shit like that.
- 18:48Speaker 4: The thing that's what's interesting that's weird to me is
- 18:50Speaker 4: like at a certain point, it's like we're all just
- 18:52Speaker 4: like people are just exploiting these people getting like really murdered.
- 18:56Speaker 4: So it's like the Gabby Patito thing happened right right,
- 18:59Speaker 4: Like the top like ten episodes were all about Gabby
- 19:02Speaker 4: Batito on the podcast charts.
- 19:04Speaker 3: Cause it does numbies. Bro.
- 19:05Speaker 4: Yeah, but like, don't you feel like, don't they they
- 19:07Speaker 4: have to feel some sort of like guilt about that?
- 19:10Speaker 1: I don't think so. I think that's all true crime
- 19:12Speaker 1: is is just sociopaths who have no fucking shred of
- 19:15Speaker 1: guilt for the victims. They're fucking they. Like imagine the
- 19:19Speaker 1: true crime podcast if there was no murders like they,
- 19:22Speaker 1: we would turn them into murderers.
- 19:24Speaker 3: I was looking at the podcast charts.
- 19:25Speaker 4: There's like the top ten, like six of them are
- 19:27Speaker 4: true crime, and one of them is called My Favorite Murder.
- 19:30Speaker 1: Yes, dude, people love that shit. Yeah, No one's committed
- 19:32Speaker 1: to murder recently. Can't the murderers get the fucking work
- 19:36Speaker 1: out here? We got to talk like an easy way
- 19:39Speaker 1: to make a podcast. Yeah, I mean, murderer is Google murderer.
- 19:43Speaker 1: Do you think that you would ever be friends with
- 19:45Speaker 1: the murderer?
- 19:46Speaker 3: No? You draw the line there.
- 19:50Speaker 1: Yeah, get off your fucking high horse, dude, Yeah, one time,
- 19:53Speaker 1: get off your high horse.
- 19:55Speaker 5: Be friend and murderer, just like fucking Jesus would bro
- 19:58Speaker 5: I fucking.
- 19:58Speaker 3: Kicked back with the murderers, would be friend of murderer.
- 20:01Speaker 5: I would be friends with OJ. Is that whack?
- 20:04Speaker 3: No, I don't think so.
- 20:05Speaker 1: Do you think it's whack?
- 20:06Speaker 3: Or no?
- 20:07Speaker 1: No, do you think it's whack that I'd be friends
- 20:09Speaker 1: with OJ right now? If he was sitting here, I
- 20:11Speaker 1: would try to make him like me.
- 20:12Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know, Like it's different if someone
- 20:14Speaker 4: like goes to court and everything and they're proven innocent.
- 20:17Speaker 3: JOJ was. Of course, gloves didn't fit. We had to acquit. Look,
- 20:22Speaker 3: if the gloves don't fit, consider me a friend. Like
- 20:28Speaker 3: you know. OJ would do great numbies for.
- 20:30Speaker 1: The podcast, That's what I mean. Yeah, we can't just
- 20:33Speaker 1: have him on the talk.
- 20:34Speaker 4: Yeah, let's get Kelly. Can we get Kelly Martin here
- 20:36Speaker 4: and we can ask her if he can get OJ.
- 20:38Speaker 1: Yeah, let's see if she she can build a relationship
- 20:40Speaker 1: with OJ O J.
- 20:41Speaker 5: Simpson or like Casey Anthony.
- 20:43Speaker 3: Casey Anthony, for sure, I would.
- 20:46Speaker 1: I would be like, I would treat her just like anybody.
- 20:48Speaker 4: The crazy thing about Casey Anthony is that her daughter
- 20:50Speaker 4: was killed and everyone just assumed it was her.
- 20:53Speaker 3: I have empathy for her. I felt bad for her.
- 20:56Speaker 1: Yeah, she's going through double bad thing.
- 20:57Speaker 4: Do you ever when she got out of prison, there
- 20:59Speaker 4: were people like a side like holding posters up being
- 21:01Speaker 4: like marry me Kasey Anthony. People are proposing to her.
- 21:04Speaker 1: Honestly, that shows that sexism is just about dead in
- 21:06Speaker 1: America because it used to be women standing fucking Charles
- 21:10Speaker 1: Manson or whatever.
- 21:11Speaker 5: Yeah, just going crazy about male murderers.
- 21:13Speaker 1: The fact that men can now go gaga over a
- 21:15Speaker 1: fucking female murderer, that's that's a little bit of.
- 21:18Speaker 4: Balance, true, that's uh, we're being we're progressing as a society.
- 21:22Speaker 5: Finally a little bit of equality here.
- 21:23Speaker 1: Yeah, I definitely Yeah, damn times about time we can
- 21:27Speaker 1: stand a female serial killer.
- 21:30Speaker 3: But the problem is it wasn't She wasn't a serial killer.
- 21:33Speaker 4: Yeah, she killed her baby, a little bit of a
- 21:36Speaker 4: slip up at home.
- 21:40Speaker 1: She drowned her kid in the punch bowl of of
- 21:44Speaker 1: of cheerios.
- 21:45Speaker 3: Cheerios. We were talking the other day, would you rather
- 21:48Speaker 3: be friends with a murderer or a rapist? And credits
- 21:52Speaker 3: us We all said murderer. Yeah, definitely did Definitely murderer.
- 21:56Speaker 3: I mean sexual crime is be on the pale.
- 21:58Speaker 1: Yeah, but a crime of the flesh. Who am I
- 22:05Speaker 1: to do? Oh my god, the heat of passion. Manslaughter
- 22:11Speaker 1: would be easy to be friends.
- 22:13Speaker 3: Oh yeah, if.
- 22:13Speaker 5: Someone's just like, oh I ran somebody over.
- 22:15Speaker 4: I'm sure manslaughter. Actually a lot of good friendships are
- 22:18Speaker 4: formed through that. Support groups. Yeah, like and everyone's like, hey, man,
- 22:24Speaker 4: it wasn't your fault. Yeah, so you know your friends,
- 22:26Speaker 4: you just drove drunk one night.
- 22:27Speaker 3: Yeah, don't blame yourself. We've all been there.
- 22:30Speaker 6: Man.
- 22:31Speaker 3: They weren't act out behind the wheel.
- 22:33Speaker 1: They were they were lower class anyway, don't worry. They
- 22:35Speaker 1: were immigrants, so it doesn't matter they didn't.
- 22:38Speaker 4: I got to ask me. The best part about drinking
- 22:40Speaker 4: is driving. That's between us.
- 22:43Speaker 1: I think there was an NFL player who I think
- 22:46Speaker 1: Dante Stalwarts, was like driving drunk, killed a dude and
- 22:49Speaker 1: he got like maybe thirty days, not even, and it
- 22:52Speaker 1: was like, oh yeah, Like the guy was like a
- 22:54Speaker 1: migrant worker and he was crossing the street where he
- 22:56Speaker 1: wasn't supposed to be crossing the street. It was probably
- 22:58Speaker 1: his fault. It wasn't even all on you. Jesus, don't
- 23:01Speaker 1: even blame yourself. Brother, He shouldn't have been there. There
- 23:03Speaker 1: was a kid from my we'll get you back out
- 23:06Speaker 1: there for my buddy went to don't even sit him
- 23:10Speaker 1: in fantasy.
- 23:10Speaker 4: One of my best friends moved to Maine when we
- 23:12Speaker 4: were in high school, and he was friends with this
- 23:15Speaker 4: kid who killed someone driving and then just like nothing happened,
- 23:18Speaker 4: didn't even have to like I think he went to court.
- 23:20Speaker 4: He might have not even gone to court. He just
- 23:22Speaker 4: like drove home after he didn't get any charges or anything.
- 23:26Speaker 4: He fell asleep at the wheel.
- 23:28Speaker 3: And was he drunk? Now?
- 23:31Speaker 4: I mean it was the day after fourth of July though,
- 23:33Speaker 4: so I think he was a little bit run down.
- 23:36Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's I don't know.
- 23:37Speaker 3: I guess it's just fucking bad luck.
- 23:39Speaker 4: I mean he stopped and also he stopped being friends
- 23:41Speaker 4: with him after that, he broke up with him. I
- 23:44Speaker 4: think the I think his lack of empathy for the situation.
- 23:48Speaker 1: I like to separate the artists from the art What
- 23:52Speaker 1: am I going to stop listening to Dark Kelly?
- 23:54Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 23:55Speaker 1: What am I gonna stop being friends with this buddy
- 23:57Speaker 1: just because he ruined someone else's life more than ever. True,
- 24:01Speaker 1: he needs friendship now more than ever.
- 24:03Speaker 3: We do need to start befriending. Uh, murderers and manslaughter,
- 24:09Speaker 3: just manslaughterers.
- 24:11Speaker 1: The only people you can't be friend is rape and
- 24:14Speaker 1: child porn. Those are the people who you have to
- 24:16Speaker 1: you have to cut off.
- 24:17Speaker 3: Unfortunately. I like picture in a group of dudes who
- 24:19Speaker 3: all just slayed their adulterers, but just talk and drink
- 24:24Speaker 3: about it. What do you mean, slate They all walked
- 24:26Speaker 3: in on their wife getting fucked.
- 24:27Speaker 1: And they killed the woman both. Yeah, I mean sometimes
- 24:32Speaker 1: like crimes of passion.
- 24:34Speaker 3: Have you ever seen shash and redemption? Brother?
- 24:37Speaker 1: Oh?
- 24:37Speaker 3: Is that what?
- 24:37Speaker 1: That's what he did right through shrain?
- 24:39Speaker 3: Now he didn't kill him though he's innocent. Well, he
- 24:42Speaker 3: doesn't exist.
- 24:45Speaker 1: He's a character. I briefly touched on the word numbies.
- 24:51Speaker 4: Yeah you did so. Numbies is were we're copywriting it.
- 24:55Speaker 1: We're in a legal battle right now.
- 24:57Speaker 3: Yeah, we let's just say we're date. We're taking Dave
- 24:59Speaker 3: Portnat to the fucking grave.
- 25:01Speaker 5: Oh yeah, we're gonna take him to court with.
- 25:02Speaker 3: His own lawyers. How does that sound? Yeah?
- 25:05Speaker 5: Fucking cannibalize the entire situation because.
- 25:08Speaker 4: Nobody currently talking to Alex Cooper, just trying to figure
- 25:11Speaker 4: out what her lawyer situation was, and just uh, scandal.
- 25:16Speaker 1: Fall in and worse comes to worse. We're just gonna
- 25:18Speaker 1: start selling Saturday's or for the boy dads. Saturdays are
- 25:23Speaker 1: for the for the boy dad's flags. Merch all of
- 25:26Speaker 1: that ship if you because two can play that game. Yeah, okay,
- 25:30Speaker 1: Positive Vibes only is going to be our next fucking
- 25:32Speaker 1: venture after.
- 25:33Speaker 3: Figure it out, let's just say the bag's coming sooner
- 25:36Speaker 3: than later.
- 25:36Speaker 1: No, we're go we gotta. We're not saying numbies anymore.
- 25:39Speaker 3: We're just talking about set it once.
- 25:41Speaker 1: We're talking about birds. When it gets real cold, and
- 25:46Speaker 1: you know it's getting cold in here, you feel a draft.
- 25:50Speaker 1: We're about to do some birds.
- 25:52Speaker 3: When did you come up with that?
- 25:53Speaker 1: With birds?
- 25:54Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 25:55Speaker 1: As soon as Dave starts using numbers.
- 25:56Speaker 3: I don't know if that's going to catch on as well.
- 26:00Speaker 1: I don't know why it sounds like a horse when
- 26:01Speaker 1: I do it.
- 26:04Speaker 3: That'll be good. I think that'll catch on quick.
- 26:06Speaker 5: And it just we're selling park Us.
- 26:08Speaker 1: We're selling fucking big ass white jackets, goos down fucking Canada,
- 26:13Speaker 1: goose jackets for like eight hundred dollars that just say.
- 26:18Speaker 4: I don't know what, like even if we put out
- 26:20Speaker 4: if we wanted to put out a Numbies march at
- 26:22Speaker 4: this point, are we even allowed to.
- 26:24Speaker 1: I'm gonna talk to the boss. You know what, Why
- 26:26Speaker 1: don't we have him on the podcast?
- 26:27Speaker 3: Yeah, let's get him in here right now. Now he's
- 26:30Speaker 3: not in, but uh, you'll be. You'll be with him soon.
- 26:32Speaker 1: I'll talk to him on the helipad about it. Yeah. Actually,
- 26:35Speaker 1: I better talk to him after we take off, because
- 26:37Speaker 1: if it gets too contentious, I might not even get
- 26:39Speaker 1: I might not be able to sit with it. Yeah,
- 26:40Speaker 1: so they better lock us into that helicopter.
- 26:43Speaker 4: Because that's a good way to get him to talk
- 26:45Speaker 4: to him his mid flight. Hold his head over out
- 26:48Speaker 4: over the over this helicopter.
- 26:50Speaker 5: Yeah, like in Scarface, just dangle him out.
- 26:53Speaker 3: Stop using numbies.
- 26:56Speaker 1: You've gone on far enough.
- 26:57Speaker 3: Yeah, haven't you done enough?
- 27:00Speaker 1: But uh, it's probably going to be a helicopter situation
- 27:02Speaker 1: where we're all on like headphones. I'll start talking to
- 27:04Speaker 1: him and he'll just like turn my volume down. I'll
- 27:08Speaker 1: be screaming at it. Yeah, I'll have no idea what
- 27:12Speaker 1: the fuck I'm saying.
- 27:14Speaker 3: Yeah, you should talk to him about Roman a little bit.
- 27:18Speaker 3: Oh this early, brother, we.
- 27:22Speaker 5: Should talk to him about Roman.
- 27:24Speaker 1: Roman Roman swipe, roll mountains wip, cock don't work?
- 27:35Speaker 3: Wait what was the original? What was it about the
- 27:37Speaker 3: boner boner?
- 27:38Speaker 1: Then?
- 27:39Speaker 3: What was it?
- 27:40Speaker 1: It's like if your cock doesn't work, if you're cock.
- 27:43Speaker 1: But it's not about cock working or not working. It's
- 27:46Speaker 1: just sometimes you need a little bit of help in
- 27:47Speaker 1: your life in romance.
- 27:48Speaker 3: Come too fast and your cock don't work. Roman swipes.
- 27:54Speaker 3: Now that wasn't it?
- 27:56Speaker 1: Fuck?
- 27:57Speaker 3: Was it POMPEII by the Steel I don't remember what
- 27:59Speaker 3: it was?
- 28:00Speaker 1: A huge Urusalem bill.
- 28:05Speaker 3: Roman swape.
- 28:08Speaker 1: Most guys have tried different ways to last longer, listing
- 28:13Speaker 1: off the Nate, listing off baseball teams and baseball players,
- 28:18Speaker 1: or names of baseball guys who you know.
- 28:21Speaker 5: Sometimes that shit doesn't work.
- 28:23Speaker 3: You're doing the id Reid right now.
- 28:25Speaker 5: Brother, I was gonna say something that was inappropriate.
- 28:28Speaker 3: What I did?
- 28:29Speaker 5: I put it back inside my body.
- 28:31Speaker 3: All right, I'll take this one out and.
- 28:32Speaker 1: Say the day the folks at Roman and Online Men's
- 28:35Speaker 1: Health Company are changing the game with Roman swipes. The
- 28:39Speaker 1: secret to lasting longer while you're sex and.
- 28:44Speaker 3: They're easy to use. Is just take the swipes out
- 28:46Speaker 3: of the packet, swipe it on, let it draw, and
- 28:48Speaker 3: you're good to go. That's it.
- 28:50Speaker 4: Get Roman dot com slash sun. You can get your
- 28:54Speaker 4: first swipes for just five dollars when you choose a
- 28:58Speaker 4: monthly plan. That's get Rome dot com slash son.
- 29:02Speaker 1: What you're gonna want to do is you get a
- 29:03Speaker 1: Roman swipe and you're gonna swaddle your penis like the
- 29:07Speaker 1: newborn babe Jesus Christ at at the uh the inn
- 29:12Speaker 1: where he was born, and you're gonna wrap it up
- 29:14Speaker 1: in a Roman swipe. You're gonna rub it down, and
- 29:16Speaker 1: suddenly you're gonna be lasting so long in bed that
- 29:19Speaker 1: your significant other is gonna say, ooh la la, that
- 29:23Speaker 1: shit feels good.
- 29:25Speaker 4: Look look, I'm gonna say. You're gonna want to get
- 29:30Speaker 4: a Roman swipe and just dows you're dicking it. Oh yeah,
- 29:34Speaker 4: just rub it all over your dick.
- 29:36Speaker 1: Like you're trying to uh disinfect your arm before you
- 29:39Speaker 1: take a shot of penicillin or something like that.
- 29:42Speaker 3: Oh yeah, you're gonna really wanna know.
- 29:44Speaker 1: You're gonna wrap it up like a grape leaf. You
- 29:47Speaker 1: wanna fucking double wrap that ship. Yeah, swater your cock
- 29:50Speaker 1: with a Roman swipe and your your significant other will
- 29:54Speaker 1: well thank you. Whether you're fucking a man.
- 29:56Speaker 3: Or a woman.
- 29:57Speaker 1: Oh yeah, it doesn't matter because your penis is gone
- 30:00Speaker 1: it in somewhere and you're not gonna want to feel.
- 30:02Speaker 3: It, so you can last long.
- 30:03Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I said what about room and swipes?
- 30:10Speaker 3: And I said, what about Roman swipes on you?
- 30:15Speaker 5: Now that you've mastered stand up comedy, what do you
- 30:18Speaker 5: what's your next snacks?
- 30:20Speaker 3: Yeah? Like, what's your next.
- 30:21Speaker 5: Like passion project? Going to be painting me?
- 30:23Speaker 4: Rap battling, believe it or not. No, I want to
- 30:27Speaker 4: wrap battle you bro, yo. First it went roan phone
- 30:31Speaker 4: home scone.
- 30:35Speaker 1: Don't break break out, eat a scone.
- 30:38Speaker 3: I'll kill a ron.
- 30:45Speaker 1: Don't go there. Not the fucking breakfast snacks. Don't rhy
- 30:51Speaker 1: me with breakfast snacks. No, I want to rap against
- 30:54Speaker 1: Adrian Forrester. I want to rap against the guy from Macrodosin.
- 30:57Speaker 1: That's who I really want to wrap battle. But if
- 31:00Speaker 1: you want to fucking if you want to sharpen up
- 31:02Speaker 1: the sword me and you, we could do that, you
- 31:04Speaker 1: know what I mean?
- 31:05Speaker 3: Yeah, for sure, for sure would love to hop in
- 31:07Speaker 3: the booth with you again, brother.
- 31:09Speaker 1: Yeah, man, it's about time we put out our track.
- 31:12Speaker 1: People keep on asking me when are you gonna get
- 31:14Speaker 1: back in the ring? When are you gonna get back
- 31:15Speaker 1: in the ring? Big Gruin's always trying to book me
- 31:17Speaker 1: for matches. I'm like, Grwin fucking just give me a
- 31:20Speaker 1: break right now.
- 31:20Speaker 3: What was Grewing hitting us up about? Yesterday?
- 31:22Speaker 1: He was like, do you want me to introduce you
- 31:24Speaker 1: to Jadakiss? He kept them being like, would you like
- 31:27Speaker 1: to meet Lil Wayne?
- 31:28Speaker 3: I was like, grew Yeah, he was like what do
- 31:33Speaker 3: he always say? He was like Sas. He's like, He's like, Sas,
- 31:37Speaker 3: how would you like to meet Tim Dillon? Like? Actually
- 31:41Speaker 3: this actually happened. Yeah. He was like, what would you
- 31:45Speaker 3: do if I could told you I could make a
- 31:47Speaker 3: dream come true? You could meet Tim Dillon.
- 31:51Speaker 1: I know, I know some people over at the Make
- 31:52Speaker 1: a Wish Foundation. We can tell him you have cancer
- 31:55Speaker 1: and we flied you right in there with Tim.
- 31:56Speaker 3: Dalen's that sound.
- 31:57Speaker 1: Just put on that skull cap that you had in
- 31:59Speaker 1: some Twitter pictures and we'll pretend that you have melanoma.
- 32:02Speaker 1: We'll get you in there with Tim Dillon. What do
- 32:04Speaker 1: you say champ. Does that sound nice to you?
- 32:07Speaker 4: I was like, look, bro, I was like, look, buddy,
- 32:11Speaker 4: been there, done that. Actually, just got a DM from
- 32:15Speaker 4: the stand really saying you around tonight, Tim Dillon is hanging.
- 32:22Speaker 1: What did he kill himself?
- 32:26Speaker 3: I don't really want to go to I don't really
- 32:27Speaker 3: want to just show up at the stand and be like, hey, Tim.
- 32:30Speaker 5: Hey, we need someone to identify as told me.
- 32:32Speaker 3: You were going to be here. I'm keeping tabs on
- 32:36Speaker 3: you with the DM. You uh Twitter? Gotcha? What if
- 32:40Speaker 3: you two met in the middle and did a roast
- 32:42Speaker 3: battle who you and sass each other each other? That
- 32:46Speaker 3: doesn't sound sweet?
- 32:50Speaker 4: Kill by the comtown boys did that? You would kill me.
- 32:52Speaker 4: I don't think I'd be good at writing roasts.
- 32:54Speaker 1: Why what would you say?
- 32:55Speaker 3: I'd just be like stupid ass.
- 33:00Speaker 1: And it is.
- 33:00Speaker 3: It's like a comedy.
- 33:01Speaker 1: Bellf you brought you, if you brought your crowd from
- 33:03Speaker 1: Monday Night, Oh, I'd smoke you. That would destroy See.
- 33:06Speaker 4: That's the thing that was the thing about Monday and Night.
- 33:10Speaker 4: Anything I said they would have laughed at except for
- 33:13Speaker 4: my opening. The biggest reaction of the night was when
- 33:14Speaker 4: you said I'm depressed. Yeah, people were cheering.
- 33:18Speaker 1: Yeah, let's go. The three biggest reactions were one, I'm depressed.
- 33:22Speaker 1: People fucking stood up and apply.
- 33:27Speaker 3: Uh.
- 33:28Speaker 1: Two when you said I don't like New York, people
- 33:30Speaker 1: fucking were like saluting you like you were a fucking
- 33:33Speaker 1: soldier coming home. And three was when you said fuck
- 33:36Speaker 1: homeless people here like yes.
- 33:39Speaker 3: They love that.
- 33:40Speaker 4: Someone was like, did you hear the guy in the
- 33:41Speaker 4: background going seriously seriously?
- 33:43Speaker 3: Did you hear that? I was sitting next to Yeah, seriously.
- 33:47Speaker 4: I was like, we should take all the homeless people
- 33:49Speaker 4: and put them in prison, and you're just like seriously seriously, Oh.
- 33:55Speaker 1: Man, Yeah, yeah, I don't know. I mean, is it
- 34:00Speaker 1: punching down to make fun of homeless people?
- 34:02Speaker 3: I don't think so. It was a joke. I just said.
- 34:05Speaker 3: I said I'm kidding directly after yeah, And I don't
- 34:08Speaker 3: even think you should have had to say I'm kidding. Well,
- 34:10Speaker 3: of course, I knew the cancel culture is gonna try
- 34:12Speaker 3: and come out and get me.
- 34:13Speaker 1: I'm kidding, I'm kidding. Okay, It's like, Jesus, guys, what
- 34:18Speaker 1: is this? This is a comedy show. That's what I
- 34:21Speaker 1: can't riff. Luis k used to say that after he
- 34:23Speaker 1: would like finish on a girl's unsuspecting feet.
- 34:26Speaker 3: I'm kidding, don't cancel this, I'm actually kidding. I was like, guys, guys, guys. God.
- 34:32Speaker 3: I was like, this is why I hate doing comedy
- 34:34Speaker 3: in New York.
- 34:34Speaker 5: You can't say anything anymore.
- 34:36Speaker 4: Every single stand up comedian comes on stage and they're
- 34:39Speaker 4: like these New York crowds, these New York crowds, and
- 34:43Speaker 4: it's like it won't even be like they said anything offensive.
- 34:45Speaker 4: It'll be like they just said something that wasn't funny.
- 34:47Speaker 4: And then they'll be like, I can't say anything here,
- 34:49Speaker 4: can you.
- 34:50Speaker 1: I think that the problem with any type of like
- 34:53Speaker 1: open mic or new comic situation is everybody thinks that
- 34:57Speaker 1: they're on their journey to be the funniest person in
- 35:00Speaker 1: the world.
- 35:01Speaker 4: I think they also think that they like because they
- 35:02Speaker 4: watched like Luis c k and Tim Dillon and Bill Burr,
- 35:05Speaker 4: and they're like, I have to be as offensive as
- 35:06Speaker 4: I possibly can.
- 35:08Speaker 3: But then when they say it's just like uncomfortable and
- 35:10Speaker 3: not funny.
- 35:10Speaker 1: Well, I think one of the best things about your
- 35:12Speaker 1: your stand up from like an analytics perspective, was like.
- 35:15Speaker 5: You had a clear perspective.
- 35:17Speaker 1: It's like I think it is a lot about having
- 35:19Speaker 1: like a perspective, and like I don't like New York
- 35:21Speaker 1: is like a clear, like direct perspective that like can
- 35:24Speaker 1: be funny. Like I like New York, but like that's
- 35:27Speaker 1: not necessarily like that's clear perspective, but it's not like
- 35:30Speaker 1: a funny perspective. And I think like maintaining the perspective.
- 35:33Speaker 1: I don't know if I'm breaking it down too much,
- 35:34Speaker 1: but I feel like having a strong perspective is something
- 35:37Speaker 1: that like can't carry you far. Hit about uh, only
- 35:41Speaker 1: only good boys get to be happy?
- 35:43Speaker 3: Was was really funny too, Thank you appreciate it.
- 35:46Speaker 1: And that's it's also the gayest thing ever when you're like, hey,
- 35:49Speaker 1: that was like a really funny joke that you said.
- 35:52Speaker 1: I always have that problem when I'm talking to comedians,
- 35:54Speaker 1: I know, and I'm like, hey, like your set was
- 35:56Speaker 1: really funny. I just feel like such a fucking idiot.
- 35:59Speaker 1: But of course they fucking of course they thought it
- 36:01Speaker 1: was funny, or like, are they supposed to add a
- 36:03Speaker 1: joke onto that or just like say thank you? Giving
- 36:06Speaker 1: and like receiving praise is something that I think that, uh,
- 36:09Speaker 1: we're not even great at as as a society, like
- 36:12Speaker 1: nobody knows how to take a compliment.
- 36:13Speaker 4: Well, yeah, Roan doesn't like compliments. His buddies told me
- 36:17Speaker 4: what you're that you're humble?
- 36:19Speaker 3: Did they say that?
- 36:20Speaker 4: Yeah, fuck, you were talking about it when you first
- 36:23Speaker 4: started rap battling or something. They're like, you won't even
- 36:24Speaker 4: talk about it, it's too humble.
- 36:27Speaker 1: I mean I think that there is.
- 36:28Speaker 3: Uh.
- 36:29Speaker 1: I just think it's like incredibly corny when people like
- 36:32Speaker 1: list their accomplishments or like when people have like a
- 36:35Speaker 1: look at me perspective, and I probably need to get
- 36:38Speaker 1: better at that. But like when people are just like, yeah,
- 36:40Speaker 1: I did this fucking, super sick, fucking thing, Like I
- 36:43Speaker 1: just think that, Like, uh, I don't know.
- 36:46Speaker 3: I just think it's I think it's corny. Yeah, I agree, when.
- 36:49Speaker 1: People are just tooting their own horn, it's just, uh,
- 36:52Speaker 1: it's tough. But then like then people can wind up
- 36:54Speaker 1: taking advantage of you and saying that they created numbies.
- 36:57Speaker 5: If you're not always saying.
- 36:58Speaker 1: Like, hey, I fucking create this, yo, I fucking made
- 37:01Speaker 1: this thing. You got to pound the table for yourself,
- 37:03Speaker 1: I guess sometimes yeah.
- 37:04Speaker 3: That's true.
- 37:05Speaker 1: And the worst part is that Dave was like talking
- 37:07Speaker 1: about he's like his girlfriend. He's like, yeah, well she
- 37:09Speaker 1: told me about it. She showed it to me. He's like,
- 37:11Speaker 1: I love it. I love saying numbies. It's my new thing.
- 37:15Speaker 3: Talk directly to her because I guess she listens or
- 37:18Speaker 3: she doesn't. I don't know.
- 37:20Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean we did the we did like the
- 37:22Speaker 1: research on the Yaka Dak Shepherd has said numbies before.
- 37:25Speaker 1: We said numbies, but you also said numbies without knowing.
- 37:29Speaker 1: I started saying numbies because you started saying numbies. And
- 37:32Speaker 1: probably like the first or second podcast, and here we're
- 37:34Speaker 1: on recorded words saying.
- 37:37Speaker 5: Numbies and you've also typed it. In twenty nineteen.
- 37:39Speaker 3: That was the first person at barstool to say it
- 37:42Speaker 3: historically historically ever. So take that.
- 37:44Speaker 1: Jenna Marbles bitch. Yeah, you're gonna have to fucking live
- 37:48Speaker 1: with that forever. I forgot about Jen. I should check
- 37:51Speaker 1: in with her sometime soon. Yeah, mental health is she
- 37:54Speaker 1: quit YouTube, she's taken a medal. Talked about this before
- 37:57Speaker 1: we did. We talked about it, we clipped it, we did.
- 38:00Speaker 1: We called her Harriet Tubman.
- 38:01Speaker 3: Our landlord just wanted for murder. Well, it was like
- 38:05Speaker 3: a whole thing.
- 38:06Speaker 4: We went downstairs and there's a letter and it was like,
- 38:08Speaker 4: if you see management or the landlord his name, please
- 38:12Speaker 4: call the police. He's wanted for sex trafficking or trafficking
- 38:16Speaker 4: or human trafficking. Sorry, it wasn't all sex related.
- 38:20Speaker 1: Wait, so he's just trafficking humans that he's like a
- 38:22Speaker 1: coyote out of the apartment. Is he just like smuggling
- 38:26Speaker 1: people out of town? I tell you about when he
- 38:28Speaker 1: walked into our apartment, just walked in. I feel like
- 38:32Speaker 1: landlords love to do that shit.
- 38:34Speaker 4: Dude, he walked He couldn't get in through the front door,
- 38:36Speaker 4: so he walked up and like went in through like
- 38:37Speaker 4: this upstairs door that was unlocked, and he was like hello,
- 38:42Speaker 4: and I was like hot, hi, and he's like, oh,
- 38:44Speaker 4: I couldn't get in because the door's locked.
- 38:48Speaker 1: We didn't watch you in here.
- 38:50Speaker 3: Fucking that's our apartment.
- 38:52Speaker 1: And I think landlords like live in Like. I think
- 38:55Speaker 1: landlords are the biggest loopholeists people of all time, and
- 38:59Speaker 1: uh love to just like I think girls probably have
- 39:02Speaker 1: it way worse than dudes. Like a landlord will like
- 39:05Speaker 1: figure out a woman's like shower schedule by looking at
- 39:08Speaker 1: the water bills or some shit and like walk in
- 39:10Speaker 1: exactly as they think that they're about to find a
- 39:12Speaker 1: woman in a towel. Yeah, like without fail. I mean,
- 39:15Speaker 1: our landlords are perverts.
- 39:17Speaker 4: Our landlord like found out that we worked at barstool
- 39:19Speaker 4: through our emails, and then like he started like artist
- 39:22Speaker 4: super and he was like inviting us out to dinner,
- 39:24Speaker 4: like or inviting us to get beers like every day.
- 39:26Speaker 1: Yeah, what kind of beers? What kind of beers you
- 39:29Speaker 1: boys drink? Would love to crush them, would love to
- 39:33Speaker 1: crush some beers, Sophia. He said he was friends with
- 39:35Speaker 1: Alex Cooper. Shut up, yeah, like he used too, we'll
- 39:38Speaker 1: have to compare notes.
- 39:39Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, we have to do it.
- 39:42Speaker 4: And I hit her up and I was like you
- 39:43Speaker 4: know this dude, and she was like, don't waste your
- 39:45Speaker 4: time with that freak. He's like he was like oh that.
- 39:50Speaker 4: I was like, yeah, Josh and she was like that's
- 39:51Speaker 4: the name I haven't heard in years. And then she's
- 39:54Speaker 4: like she was like, Harry, stay away from him. He
- 39:57Speaker 4: is dangerous. Stay away from him.
- 40:00Speaker 5: Does she explain what she meant? What kind of dangerous
- 40:02Speaker 5: she was?
- 40:02Speaker 4: She's like, we'd have to meet up in person. Yeah,
- 40:06Speaker 4: I can't tell you over the phone. It's too it's
- 40:08Speaker 4: too dangerous.
- 40:09Speaker 1: Oh is that why you guys got cocktails at Lila
- 40:11Speaker 1: in Brooklyn?
- 40:12Speaker 3: No, we were actually when I went out to l A,
- 40:13Speaker 3: we we met up.
- 40:15Speaker 1: Oh shit, where do you what? Uh?
- 40:17Speaker 3: You do not want to say.
- 40:18Speaker 4: It was like a whole thing, like we had to
- 40:20Speaker 4: like sit at opposite tables at like a like a Starbucks.
- 40:23Speaker 1: Oh really like glasses? Well, because she gets followed by
- 40:25Speaker 1: the fucking paparazzi.
- 40:26Speaker 4: Now, she was like, are you sure you don't have
- 40:28Speaker 4: a tail? And I was like what's going on? I
- 40:31Speaker 4: was like, what's so bad about Josh? And she was like,
- 40:33Speaker 4: you don't even want to know? And then I like
- 40:36Speaker 4: she showed me a folder of just pictures of him
- 40:37Speaker 4: and Jeffrey Jeffrey Epstein.
- 40:39Speaker 1: Shut up, yeah, Josh, Yeah, Oh no, I know. Oh
- 40:44Speaker 1: fucking no, I know. Is that why everyone's been I've
- 40:47Speaker 1: been reading in like the New York Post that like
- 40:49Speaker 1: you and her got plastic surgery together or something like that.
- 40:52Speaker 1: It's just a smear campaign.
- 40:53Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, I mean she did.
- 40:55Speaker 4: I didn't though, Oh really, I was thinking about getting
- 40:58Speaker 4: like a butt lift, but I was like, no, I'm good.
- 41:01Speaker 3: I'm too young.
- 41:02Speaker 1: Just get your stomach fat pushed around to your ass. Yeah,
- 41:06Speaker 1: I mean Kanye West does it?
- 41:08Speaker 3: True?
- 41:09Speaker 1: He said he just doesn't have He said he doesn't
- 41:11Speaker 1: have time to work out, so he just gets liposuction,
- 41:14Speaker 1: which is like.
- 41:15Speaker 3: I'd imagine Kanye has a good amount of free time.
- 41:18Speaker 1: He said he doesn't. He said he doesn't have time
- 41:20Speaker 1: to work out, do like interviews or anything. But that
- 41:22Speaker 1: doesn't mean he has free time. He's probably just over
- 41:24Speaker 1: like an NPC machine, like fucking making beats, like fucking
- 41:27Speaker 1: pounding some shit out.
- 41:28Speaker 4: I guess he does the Yeasy stuff. I guess he
- 41:30Speaker 4: does that cute little Yeasy brand.
- 41:32Speaker 3: Yeah, I was good luck with that? Is that going
- 41:35Speaker 3: for him? Keep trying.
- 41:36Speaker 5: I'm sure he'll get somewhere with it someday.
- 41:38Speaker 4: I always say when my friends come to me and
- 41:39Speaker 4: they're like, I want to start a clothing bread, I'm like.
- 41:40Speaker 5: It's hard, not just anybody can do it.
- 41:43Speaker 3: Trust us.
- 41:44Speaker 5: We've made boy Dad sweatshirts.
- 41:46Speaker 1: That are good, that are really good, and still enough
- 41:49Speaker 1: people haven't bought them. And maybe that's time you look
- 41:51Speaker 1: at yourself in the mirror and say, why am I
- 41:53Speaker 1: not wearing two boy Dad sweatshirts winter is coming up,
- 41:58Speaker 1: the hoodie one on the inside so you can put
- 41:59Speaker 1: the hoodie over, yeah, and then the crew neck one
- 42:01Speaker 1: on the outside.
- 42:02Speaker 4: Yeah, when winter is coming up and you're gonna want
- 42:04Speaker 4: to be warm and no one wears winter jackets these days.
- 42:08Speaker 3: It's all about layers. Oh, definitely not.
- 42:10Speaker 1: And if you're gonna wear a winter jacket, you want
- 42:12Speaker 1: to have at least a hoodie and a crew neck.
- 42:13Speaker 3: On under it under. Yeah, it's all layers.
- 42:16Speaker 1: Trust this. We learned from the best, Okay, Virgil Ablow,
- 42:20Speaker 1: Alex Cooper and Chicken Fry and us the mount rushmore
- 42:24Speaker 1: of being able to push merch. Yeah, we fucking move units.
- 42:29Speaker 1: We're like the new Supreme, except for more supreme than that.
- 42:32Speaker 3: We Uh.
- 42:33Speaker 4: What actually happened with the landlord was we got a
- 42:37Speaker 4: we had like a note saying that there was a
- 42:39Speaker 4: that they're wanted for burglary. Like the whole They were like,
- 42:42Speaker 4: if the note says if you're it's on the someone's door,
- 42:46Speaker 4: and it says if you see management or the landlord,
- 42:50Speaker 4: call the police, they're wanted for burglary.
- 42:53Speaker 3: Some in massive letters.
- 42:55Speaker 5: What, uh, what do you think they broke into someone's apartment.
- 42:58Speaker 4: I don't know. I can't even I have no idea.
- 43:01Speaker 4: I'm excited. I haven't think we have to pay anymore.
- 43:03Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, if they're wanted, I would say you
- 43:06Speaker 1: should do a true crime about it yourselves and just
- 43:09Speaker 1: kind of like take the case into your own hands.
- 43:12Speaker 1: I but like, if no one got murdered, no one's
- 43:14Speaker 1: going to give a fuck.
- 43:15Speaker 4: I met the dude the landlord once. He's killed before,
- 43:20Speaker 4: and he will again, so I'm not really sure if
- 43:22Speaker 4: I'm trying to cross paths. He found like a befriend
- 43:26Speaker 4: him found like a wet beer box on the on
- 43:28Speaker 4: our roof, and he came down.
- 43:30Speaker 3: He put a knife against my.
- 43:31Speaker 4: Throat and he's like, if I ever ever find this
- 43:35Speaker 4: on the roof again, on my roof.
- 43:39Speaker 1: And then he just threw the knife behind him and
- 43:41Speaker 1: it landed fucking dead in the middle of a picture
- 43:43Speaker 1: on the refrigerator of me.
- 43:46Speaker 3: Yeah. I haven't met him. He is like dude European
- 43:51Speaker 3: guy in a suit smoking a cigarette.
- 43:52Speaker 1: Does he have a nice car?
- 43:53Speaker 4: Very much like that, but he's very much well, he's older.
- 43:55Speaker 4: He's like he looks like he's been in like the mob.
- 43:58Speaker 1: Does he drive like a red convertible that like is
- 44:00Speaker 1: like a Mazda or something like that.
- 44:02Speaker 3: I don't know what car he drives.
- 44:03Speaker 4: I just one morning I woke up to people up
- 44:05Speaker 4: on our roof and then I heard screaming outside and
- 44:07Speaker 4: I went and opened the door and I was like
- 44:09Speaker 4: in my underwear and he was like, there's beer bottle.
- 44:11Speaker 3: He was like drinking on the roof. And I was
- 44:15Speaker 3: like what, He's like, you're drinking on the roof.
- 44:17Speaker 4: And then he told me that he's gonna call the
- 44:18Speaker 4: police if we ever drink on the roof again.
- 44:20Speaker 5: He trying to like get fucked up with you.
- 44:21Speaker 1: Like, right, you guys were drinking on the roof without me,
- 44:29Speaker 1: you're under all the police.
- 44:30Speaker 4: And then I got an email from our super and
- 44:32Speaker 4: he was like, hey, guys, just make sure you're not
- 44:34Speaker 4: like leaving empties on the roof.
- 44:36Speaker 1: First off, they're never gonna call the police because they're
- 44:38Speaker 1: probably operating some fucking Ponzi scheme at a loss where
- 44:41Speaker 1: there's never been an inspection on the property ever or whatever.
- 44:45Speaker 1: Like our landlord in college was like a definitely a pervert.
- 44:50Speaker 1: Like it was like Central Pennsylvania, which is like ground
- 44:53Speaker 1: zero for perverts in the entire United States. But he
- 44:56Speaker 1: was also like he never did an inspection on any
- 44:58Speaker 1: of his houses, like single fire would have taken down
- 45:01Speaker 1: five houses at once. He's just a general scumbag type
- 45:04Speaker 1: of person that would walk in on any time, but
- 45:06Speaker 1: on anybody at any time, but also just be tweaking
- 45:09Speaker 1: out on meth. Also the meth capital. There's a pedophiles
- 45:12Speaker 1: and fucking meth heads always run in the same circle.
- 45:16Speaker 1: There's always a big no way, bro, You've got a
- 45:19Speaker 1: lot of fucking life experiencing to do. You've never been
- 45:23Speaker 1: in a circle with a pedophile and a methad because.
- 45:26Speaker 4: It's I mean, so, do you mean just like a
- 45:28Speaker 4: traditional pedophile or like a Jeffrey Epstein type pedophile?
- 45:31Speaker 1: Oh?
- 45:31Speaker 3: Traditional, because I was thinking low low pills for that.
- 45:35Speaker 5: Oh well, those are the fucking master Those are the goats.
- 45:41Speaker 1: Pile just like sit around passing around a meth pipe,
- 45:45Speaker 1: arguing over who the goat was.
- 45:46Speaker 3: Probably, yeah, dude, it was.
- 45:49Speaker 1: It's like MJ versus Lebron but it's like Michael Jackson
- 45:52Speaker 1: versus Epstein.
- 45:53Speaker 3: Well it was a much more physical game. Clinton's underrated
- 45:58Speaker 3: for sure up there, but couldn't, couldn't have played it today.
- 46:04Speaker 4: Clinton says, sneaky top three, sneaky top three.
- 46:10Speaker 1: Not today's game. Not the way that the authorities will
- 46:14Speaker 1: chase you down.
- 46:15Speaker 3: Dan Schneider is like the great greatest college athlete of
- 46:18Speaker 3: all time.
- 46:18Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, we couldn't translate to the pros though. He
- 46:21Speaker 1: just he was like Reggie Bush is about to get
- 46:23Speaker 1: stripped of his of his goat status.
- 46:25Speaker 4: We're about is all our sponsors talking about about the
- 46:28Speaker 4: Clintons like that. Keep the fucking Clinton stams out of
- 46:32Speaker 4: your mouth. Not for you, not Vincaro, that's for sure.
- 46:37Speaker 6: I'm not going back to college to be your friend.
- 46:40Speaker 6: I'm going so I can get Uber one for students.
- 46:42Speaker 6: It saves you on Uber and Uber eats. I'm there
- 46:45Speaker 6: for zero dollar delivery fe on cheeseburgers, up to ten
- 46:48Speaker 6: percent off smoothies, and six percent Uber credits back on rides.
- 46:52Speaker 6: Just to be clear, I'm there for savings, not whatever
- 46:55Speaker 6: you think college is.
- 46:56Speaker 1: For Get Uber one for students, a membership to save
- 46:59Speaker 1: on Uber Uber eats.
- 47:00Speaker 3: What deals this good? Everyone wants to be a student
- 47:03Speaker 3: joined for just four ninety nine a month savings me
- 47:05Speaker 3: very eligibility and member terms apply. Drake's the fucking best,
- 47:12Speaker 3: Drake's the geek. Is that unpopular? I like how we
- 47:15Speaker 3: have so much barstool here? Where do you boys work? Yeah?
- 47:19Speaker 1: Take that down seriously until Dave apologizes for the whole
- 47:24Speaker 1: Numbees fiasco. I think that we're going to be putting
- 47:26Speaker 1: up some new el.
- 47:30Speaker 3: I ordered boards three months ago.
- 47:33Speaker 1: We just got to make it. I mean, one thing
- 47:35Speaker 1: I learned around here. If you want to you want
- 47:36Speaker 1: to do something, you gotta do it yourself. You want
- 47:39Speaker 1: to do something right, you gotta do it yourself. And
- 47:40Speaker 1: I think that that's time for us to go by
- 47:42Speaker 1: a fucking paint by Numbers class or one of those
- 47:45Speaker 1: wine you know the classes where you like drink wine
- 47:49Speaker 1: and like paint something or did.
- 47:51Speaker 3: All those die out right on till those died out?
- 47:54Speaker 1: What were what were those called?
- 47:56Speaker 3: It's like a it's like a wine.
- 47:58Speaker 1: And they had some They had some sweet, rhyming, girly
- 48:01Speaker 1: ass name no idea, something that the women would love.
- 48:05Speaker 1: Some of the women would go crazy for bro I'm
- 48:08Speaker 1: trying to get I'm trying to get a yoga class.
- 48:10Speaker 1: I'm trying to get some fucking yoga in my life.
- 48:12Speaker 1: I feel like I've been at once.
- 48:14Speaker 3: It's hard paint and sip paintings.
- 48:16Speaker 1: No, no, keep looking wine and painting Lowne, painting poor
- 48:23Speaker 1: Pino's palette, Pino's penis.
- 48:27Speaker 3: Now that's funny. Now that's fucking funny. That's cool.
- 48:30Speaker 5: Add that to the fucking sketch.
- 48:32Speaker 3: He was surprised that we weren't zipping paint.
- 48:35Speaker 4: Were you surprised that we weren't offered the SNL position
- 48:37Speaker 4: after the Amazon video?
- 48:40Speaker 1: Well, I think that there's something clear that's going on there,
- 48:42Speaker 1: and that Louren Michaels is in Jeff Bezos's pocket.
- 48:46Speaker 5: Yeah, And he was like, I so don't listen to all.
- 48:50Speaker 1: Your best advisors who are telling you to hire them
- 48:52Speaker 1: because of that.
- 48:53Speaker 3: I mean it.
- 48:54Speaker 4: I was shocked when I saw those three new hires.
- 48:57Speaker 4: I was like, where is Roan and where am I?
- 49:00Speaker 5: We're the true edge lords, We're the true edge masters.
- 49:04Speaker 4: Were obsessed with pushing the boundaries in comedy, which I
- 49:07Speaker 4: guess SNL doesn't like.
- 49:09Speaker 1: Yeah, like now they're just gonna have like a gen
- 49:11Speaker 1: Z like musical number in every fucking skit.
- 49:14Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 49:14Speaker 4: Like, when I think of three people who could have
- 49:16Speaker 4: changed SNEL forever I think of me, you and Shan Gillis.
- 49:19Speaker 5: And Vince Vincero from Vincero Watches.
- 49:24Speaker 1: If he was in there, he would have fucking changed
- 49:27Speaker 1: everything in his pinstripe fucking four piece suit.
- 49:30Speaker 3: Did you get that email from Lorn?
- 49:32Speaker 5: No, he hit me up, but uh he called me.
- 49:34Speaker 1: Yeah, we still talks.
- 49:37Speaker 3: He's been dodging my calls. Yeah.
- 49:39Speaker 1: I mean that that shows more than anything that there's
- 49:43Speaker 1: like a global elites type of thing going on and
- 49:45Speaker 1: that you're kind of being I.
- 49:46Speaker 4: Mean, yeah, how do you think they stole the elecuse
- 49:48Speaker 4: apparently he knows my landlord too.
- 49:51Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, maybe that's what got stolen the fucking
- 49:54Speaker 1: SNL gig from you.
- 49:55Speaker 3: I know, the mail was probably assume it was a
- 49:56Speaker 3: letter in the now and he.
- 49:58Speaker 1: Just fucking burned it up. What an absolute piece of shit. Man.
- 50:02Speaker 1: Maybe we should uh enact some some civilian justice on
- 50:06Speaker 1: your landlord. Does that sound?
- 50:07Speaker 6: Oh?
- 50:07Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe we should beat his ad, break his fucking skull. Yeah,
- 50:11Speaker 3: we should. That is a threat, and that is a threat.
- 50:13Speaker 5: Okay, how's that sound? Drown you in your own fucking tub.
- 50:19Speaker 4: We should call the super right now, Hey, buddy, Uh,
- 50:22Speaker 4: some there's some there's some rumors working their way around
- 50:26Speaker 4: the complex.
- 50:27Speaker 1: Call them.
- 50:27Speaker 3: I'll call him. No, let's have Roan call him. Yeah,
- 50:31Speaker 3: thing all right. Also, there's a Henny in paint in Brooklyn.
- 50:34Speaker 1: Henny and Paint. Yeah, shut up that, you know, I
- 50:37Speaker 1: mean Evan. He loves to talk about Henny.
- 50:40Speaker 3: We'll shout him out. Ninety six eleven glen Wood Road,
- 50:43Speaker 3: Henny and Paint. Do you think they only serve up Henny?
- 50:46Speaker 3: And what kind of shit are you painting? If I'm
- 50:48Speaker 3: off the Henny, I'm liable to paint some titties. You
- 50:53Speaker 3: know I'm paying titties.
- 50:55Speaker 1: All right?
- 50:55Speaker 4: You actually want to call this dude? Yeah, I'm scared.
- 50:58Speaker 4: Just tell me after he's not going to answer. Just
- 51:00Speaker 4: tell me what the script is?
- 51:01Speaker 1: All right?
- 51:02Speaker 5: Am I saying I'm you No?
- 51:04Speaker 1: So I'm just saying that.
- 51:06Speaker 3: Maybe we should just threaten him severely. Where is it?
- 51:11Speaker 3: I just sent you his contact?
- 51:13Speaker 4: Don't call yet. Don't call yet. When you think about
- 51:15Speaker 4: what we're gonna say, say.
- 51:17Speaker 3: I saw a sign. Hey, I'm new in the apartment.
- 51:21Speaker 3: Uh I live up in three B. It's not where
- 51:25Speaker 3: we live. Don't worry and uh.
- 51:29Speaker 5: So that just made it way easier for other people.
- 51:31Speaker 3: Or just be like you're my dad. Say you're my dad.
- 51:33Speaker 3: Yeah that work?
- 51:35Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, okay, Say you're a son of a boy.
- 51:38Speaker 4: Or no, I'm a dad. I'm a dad of a boy.
- 51:40Speaker 3: I'm a boy dad.
- 51:42Speaker 4: Say fuck because I don't want it to come back
- 51:46Speaker 4: to us, Well it will.
- 51:49Speaker 1: Hey, will my son lives in the apartment buildings?
- 51:52Speaker 5: About somebody stealing something?
- 51:54Speaker 4: Say say we heard there was a sign saying that
- 51:57Speaker 4: there was a that to call the police if we
- 51:59Speaker 4: see you because there's a bird glurry.
- 52:00Speaker 3: Yeah, I'll send you a picture of the son if
- 52:02Speaker 3: you want to look at it quick before the call.
- 52:04Speaker 3: Just no, no, no, don't say anything about me. Say
- 52:09Speaker 3: your Duke's Say you're Evan. Say your Evan's dad. No,
- 52:14Speaker 3: say Duke's dad, No Evan. What's Duke's first name? Kevin? Kevin? Pussy?
- 52:24Speaker 3: Better not answer? Leave a message, Yeah, yep, I hopefie.
- 52:32Speaker 3: Will we put out it's fine number. I'll return your
- 52:35Speaker 3: call as soon as possible. Thanks at the tone, Please
- 52:39Speaker 3: record your message.
- 52:41Speaker 6: When you have finished recording, you may hang up or
- 52:43Speaker 6: press one for more options.
- 52:46Speaker 1: Hey, Josh, uh, you don't know me, but I'm Kevin's dad.
- 52:51Speaker 1: Kevin is a tenant of yours, and I've received some
- 52:56Speaker 1: troubling news from him the other day. It said that
- 52:58Speaker 1: there was a basically what was tantamount to an Old
- 53:02Speaker 1: West wanted poster, and all that was short of it
- 53:05Speaker 1: was about ten thousand dollars in prizes.
- 53:08Speaker 3: For finding you.
- 53:10Speaker 1: And I wanted to know, are you putting my children
- 53:13Speaker 1: in a dangerous situation or are maybe I just want
- 53:18Speaker 1: to know what's going on and why someone would accuse
- 53:20Speaker 1: you of stealing anything. So I'm sure it's just all
- 53:24Speaker 1: a big misunderstanding, But why don't you give me a
- 53:26Speaker 1: call back? You know the number?
- 53:32Speaker 3: Okay, I did it? Cats out of the bag. You
- 53:37Speaker 3: guys are fucked. They're probably playing. That's their lawyer right now. Yeah,
- 53:40Speaker 3: you guys fucked.
- 53:41Speaker 1: You guys are big time fucked because that wasn't even
- 53:44Speaker 1: a good prank call. That was just like a fact fighting.
- 53:47Speaker 4: I mean, in the best case scenario, he calls and
- 53:49Speaker 4: he tells us what's going on, I'd love that.
- 53:51Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly, like we're doing nothing wrong here.
- 53:55Speaker 3: Between me you and Kevin. I killed a guy a
- 53:58Speaker 3: couple actually, I'd love to get the runt down from
- 54:00Speaker 3: like eighty four to sixty four, maybe eighty four. It
- 54:04Speaker 3: is eighty four.
- 54:05Speaker 1: How much you guys pay, you pay Jesus Christ, your
- 54:10Speaker 1: apartment is a shithole. You're paying fucking eighty four hundred.
- 54:13Speaker 3: I want to handles all my finances. I didn't even
- 54:15Speaker 3: know we're paying that one.
- 54:16Speaker 1: That's how much you guys are fucking you know we
- 54:18Speaker 1: were paying.
- 54:19Speaker 3: No, I thought it was free. I thought barstool put
- 54:22Speaker 3: us in that apartment.
- 54:24Speaker 1: Like it's like a European basketball club where they just
- 54:27Speaker 1: put you up to fucking live there. Once you get there,
- 54:29Speaker 1: you calling back. Yeah, this is him right now, you know,
- 54:34Speaker 1: big man.
- 54:36Speaker 3: No, that's not him.
- 54:37Speaker 1: Fuck you you had a motherfucker Yeah, you sick mofo.
- 54:43Speaker 1: I'm back in the prank game.
- 54:44Speaker 3: All right. So did this just become a prank podcast? Yes?
- 54:47Speaker 3: It did. Floridin, we be pranking, Yes, bro, let's get
- 54:53Speaker 3: to prankin. Who else should we call her?
- 54:55Speaker 5: Ruthless Blake Griffin?
- 54:58Speaker 3: Hey Blake, it's Harry, you suck.
- 55:03Speaker 1: We tried to. I had, uh, my friends always with
- 55:07Speaker 1: like it's our favorite activity to do is prank call people.
- 55:09Speaker 1: We just would do it for like way too deep
- 55:11Speaker 1: into our lives and like.
- 55:12Speaker 3: Uh oh that doesn't spress me at all. You guys
- 55:14Speaker 3: probably still do.
- 55:15Speaker 1: That, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, And we have people that
- 55:19Speaker 1: we've been prank calling for like fifteen years.
- 55:22Speaker 4: When we were at Penn State, we were like going
- 55:24Speaker 4: to a Walmart that night and Ronan his friends are
- 55:26Speaker 4: running around like it was like stuff advice to you.
- 55:29Speaker 3: With my friends. We get like kicked out of target
- 55:30Speaker 3: when we were in like.
- 55:31Speaker 4: Sixth grade, except Roan and his buddies are all fully
- 55:34Speaker 4: grown adults and they're riding the bikes around Walmart and
- 55:38Speaker 4: kicking balls into the ceiling.
- 55:40Speaker 5: You were you were participating loosely.
- 55:42Speaker 3: I was lifting weights manly.
- 55:44Speaker 1: Yeah, you were having a fuck it and you were
- 55:45Speaker 1: getting like the guns off the wall and like fucking
- 55:47Speaker 1: pretending to shoot people and shit.
- 55:49Speaker 3: Like there's a lot of happiness and youthfulness at a
- 55:52Speaker 3: Walmart just in general. Yeah, very that's a very good
- 55:57Speaker 3: thing too. That's a very good thought. Owen. There are
- 56:00Speaker 3: happiness and youthful just there just is. You just gotta
- 56:04Speaker 3: go find it. True. I didn't think about that.
- 56:06Speaker 1: You just gotta go seek it out and find it. Yeah, dude,
- 56:09Speaker 1: we fucking we try to get routy. We just like
- 56:12Speaker 1: to have a funny ass time.
- 56:13Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 56:13Speaker 4: When me and Roan and his buddies were in Penn State,
- 56:16Speaker 4: we all agree. We were like, dude, we're never growing up.
- 56:19Speaker 4: I want to be I want to be young forever.
- 56:21Speaker 4: I would look at this, look around.
- 56:23Speaker 1: That was right before we graduated, and we haven't seen
- 56:26Speaker 1: each other since right before we got our diplomas.
- 56:29Speaker 3: This isn't it for us boys?
- 56:31Speaker 1: Wait? Who uh, there's a story about Ben Simmons doing that.
- 56:35Speaker 1: There's like I don't even know if that's a real meme,
- 56:37Speaker 1: but like, uh, they said, when Ben Simmons was graduating
- 56:39Speaker 1: in high school, he like gathered up all his friends
- 56:42Speaker 1: and said that like like we're going to be close
- 56:44Speaker 1: for like the rest of our lives, and it's a
- 56:45Speaker 1: fucking promise, Like we're going to make a pack to ourselves.
- 56:48Speaker 1: It's a guarantee. And then the next day after we graduated,
- 56:50Speaker 1: he unfollowed them all.
- 56:54Speaker 4: That sounds like one of those like billionaire posts. Yeah,
- 56:57Speaker 4: those billionaire Instagram posts.
- 56:58Speaker 1: When it's like I just want to get rich enough
- 57:00Speaker 1: to cut off everybody.
- 57:01Speaker 3: Yeah, if your inner circle isn't talking about entrepreneurs hip,
- 57:06Speaker 3: the vast one was. I readsweeted this one the other day.
- 57:08Speaker 3: It was it was of.
- 57:10Speaker 4: H Jennifer Aniston, and it was just so clearly saying
- 57:14Speaker 4: that Jennifer Aniston never.
- 57:15Speaker 1: Said salute to the goat. Jennifer Aniston.
- 57:20Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she's so goaded.
- 57:21Speaker 1: She has like transitioned over several I mean, you didn't
- 57:25Speaker 1: see Kudro or fucking Courtney Cox goating like that. You
- 57:28Speaker 1: didn't see anyone else from friends goading like the way
- 57:30Speaker 1: she goes.
- 57:30Speaker 4: Oh no, she went girl boss mode. So there's this
- 57:33Speaker 4: picture of Jennifer Aniston, and then I'll read it. Before sex,
- 57:38Speaker 4: you help each other to get naked, and then after
- 57:41Speaker 4: sex you only dress yourself.
- 57:44Speaker 1: More.
- 57:44Speaker 4: It's supposed to say moral of the story. I'm assuming,
- 57:46Speaker 4: but it says mortal of the story, mortal of the story.
- 57:49Speaker 4: In life, no one helps you when you're fucked. And
- 57:53Speaker 4: then it's like, so Jennifer Aniston said that. I wonder
- 57:58Speaker 4: when she said that one. Yeah, Jonnifer Tucker, Max, Jennifer,
- 58:03Speaker 4: what are you thinking about the reunion of friends? Look,
- 58:06Speaker 4: before sex, you help each other to get naked, and
- 58:09Speaker 4: then after sex you only It's like the grammar, and
- 58:11Speaker 4: this is so bad too.
- 58:13Speaker 5: It just doesn't make any fucking sense.
- 58:15Speaker 4: Before sex, you help each other to get naked, and
- 58:17Speaker 4: after sex you only dress yourself.
- 58:19Speaker 1: They're also like talking about something that happens like in
- 58:22Speaker 1: a pretty specific scenario, as if it happens to everybody. Yeah,
- 58:26Speaker 1: it's not like every time someone has sex they fucking
- 58:29Speaker 1: are undressed in the other person. I fucking who whip
- 58:33Speaker 1: off the drawers? Like, uh, I don't.
- 58:35Speaker 4: Understand, Like Jim Carrey, I don't understand what this means
- 58:38Speaker 4: at all.
- 58:41Speaker 1: Once you're you're on your own.
- 58:42Speaker 4: Once you get fucked, what is the whole thing could
- 58:46Speaker 4: have just been in life? No one helps you when
- 58:47Speaker 4: you're fucked. The whole sex thing before makes no sense,
- 58:50Speaker 4: doesn't even relate at all.
- 58:52Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a premise.
- 58:54Speaker 1: When you're alone, you're cleaning up your own jizz, but
- 58:56Speaker 1: when you jizz on somebody they have to clean it
- 58:59Speaker 1: up for you. Yeah, premises nobody helps you. Nobody will
- 59:05Speaker 1: squeeze you the jis off you once you're fucked.
- 59:08Speaker 4: When you go to the store and you forget to
- 59:09Speaker 4: tip the bartender or the bartender might not be happy
- 59:12Speaker 4: about that. The moral of the story is that only
- 59:15Speaker 4: you can get yourself dressed after sex.
- 59:22Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't make any sense.
- 59:24Speaker 4: That would be like if someone posted that exactly with
- 59:27Speaker 4: like Jeff Bezos behind it, they would get like a
- 59:30Speaker 4: million likes on on Instagram, and then all the replies
- 59:33Speaker 4: would just be like the fire emoji in the hands
- 59:35Speaker 4: praying emoji.
- 59:36Speaker 3: Or Gary Vee.
- 59:37Speaker 1: I mean what Like there's also like the implicit suggestion
- 59:41Speaker 1: there that like people should be helping you get dressed,
- 59:44Speaker 1: which is like, no one should be helping you get dressed.
- 59:46Speaker 4: Anyone need help getting dressed. It doesn't make zipping up
- 59:49Speaker 4: your fly for you or like it'd be the like
- 59:52Speaker 4: helpful thing to do.
- 59:53Speaker 1: Like, it's not helpful for someone to help you get dressed,
- 59:55Speaker 1: Like unless you're a fucking child, it'll be.
- 59:56Speaker 3: Much more a pain in the ass.
- 59:58Speaker 1: Yeah, was probably helping his fucking probably tie that tie
- 1:00:04Speaker 1: that out together.
- 1:00:04Speaker 3: Yeah, call back yet a little bit of a callback, Joe,
- 1:00:06Speaker 3: I was a good callback.
- 1:00:07Speaker 1: I noticed you didn't use any callbacks while you were
- 1:00:09Speaker 1: doing your stand up set.
- 1:00:11Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean I got a lot of recommendations, but
- 1:00:13Speaker 4: like the recommendations I read through the comments.
- 1:00:16Speaker 1: Some of them weren't bad, but some of them were
- 1:00:17Speaker 1: the most obnoxious thing ever, Like, hey, I used to
- 1:00:20Speaker 1: be an open micro before life caught up to me.
- 1:00:22Speaker 1: Maybe cut down on the pacing. It's just because you're nervous, Yeah, dude,
- 1:00:26Speaker 1: suck a dick. Dude, like nobody wants to hear the
- 1:00:28Speaker 1: fucking your input on like what he should be doing better.
- 1:00:32Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean most people were like, you.
- 1:00:34Speaker 1: Had steak Twitter on your fucking comedy thing. It's like, oh,
- 1:00:37Speaker 1: it looks pretty good, just let it sit for a
- 1:00:39Speaker 1: couple more minutes and then it'll be fine.
- 1:00:41Speaker 4: I think it's just because comedy stand up comedy is
- 1:00:43Speaker 4: such like a popular thing that people like watching and
- 1:00:45Speaker 4: they love to like critique it because they've seen a
- 1:00:47Speaker 4: lot of stand up comedy.
- 1:00:48Speaker 1: But it's just like uh, with anything, people critique things
- 1:00:52Speaker 1: just having no idea what goes into it, or just
- 1:00:55Speaker 1: like they want to feel like the expert of the scenario,
- 1:00:57Speaker 1: so they're like, you know, what would actually help because
- 1:01:00Speaker 1: if you hold the mic a little bit farther and
- 1:01:03Speaker 1: like you don't touch the wall when you're leaning on
- 1:01:05Speaker 1: the mic stand, that's actually projecting insecurity.
- 1:01:10Speaker 3: Yeah, there was a lot of feedback a ton.
- 1:01:12Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I saw the one guy said that he
- 1:01:15Speaker 1: was surprised that he didn't fall through the floor. You
- 1:01:16Speaker 1: were pacing back and forth so hard.
- 1:01:18Speaker 3: I didn't see that one.
- 1:01:19Speaker 1: I just hit it up.
- 1:01:21Speaker 4: Glad I got it now though. Oh yeah, I was
- 1:01:24Speaker 4: pacing very hard. Oh yeah, and I didn't notice until after.
- 1:01:28Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:01:29Speaker 1: It's tough to it's tough to look back on your ship.
- 1:01:31Speaker 1: It's tough to uh watch your stuff with a critical eye.
- 1:01:35Speaker 5: Yeah, there's like a handful of battle wraps.
- 1:01:38Speaker 1: I did that, like I've never never watched in my life,
- 1:01:42Speaker 1: just because I don't want to look at it and
- 1:01:43Speaker 1: just be like, should have done that differently? Yeah, I
- 1:01:46Speaker 1: just want the praise.
- 1:01:49Speaker 3: Oh that's why you got the throne.
- 1:01:51Speaker 1: I just edit out the negative comments, just like somebody
- 1:01:54Speaker 1: sift through it. Maybe it maybe get the itch a
- 1:01:56Speaker 1: little bit.
- 1:01:58Speaker 4: I had up until like four m last night just
- 1:02:00Speaker 4: deleting all the mean comments for me. I bought him,
- 1:02:05Speaker 4: like at I bought him a large coffee.
- 1:02:06Speaker 3: From Dunks, from Donkeys Donkeys. I bought him a lot
- 1:02:11Speaker 3: from Dunks.
- 1:02:14Speaker 5: There's a new coffee place in New York that you
- 1:02:16Speaker 5: have to try.
- 1:02:16Speaker 3: You know what place looks like it sucks? Dick? Is that?
- 1:02:19Speaker 6: Like?
- 1:02:19Speaker 3: What is it? Like Jeffrey's or some shit like that. Yeah, yes, Gregory's.
- 1:02:23Speaker 1: It's pretty good, is it.
- 1:02:25Speaker 3: Yeah?
- 1:02:25Speaker 1: Now A Variety is the only place I go to
- 1:02:27Speaker 1: in New York. Shout a variety, Yes, shout have variety?
- 1:02:31Speaker 3: Can you do more? Vip list? What it was the
- 1:02:36Speaker 3: impression you were just doing.
- 1:02:38Speaker 1: I thought, oh oh yeah, yeah, yeah, wait that bitch
- 1:02:40Speaker 1: on TikTok. You guys have to go to McDonald's. They
- 1:02:46Speaker 1: have this new meal called a happy Meal, and.
- 1:02:48Speaker 5: It's for kids, but only if you're a kid on
- 1:02:50Speaker 5: the inside.
- 1:02:51Speaker 3: She's the fucking always that that girl. Didn't we see
- 1:02:54Speaker 3: her in public?
- 1:02:54Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the way that she was like, uh, people
- 1:02:58Speaker 1: were making fun of her online and she's like, well,
- 1:03:00Speaker 1: my account's actually a parody, so you can't make fun
- 1:03:03Speaker 1: of it. It's like, bitch, no, it's not a parody.
- 1:03:05Speaker 1: You can't just say shit, it's a parody. Once you
- 1:03:08Speaker 1: start getting made fun of for being called great, like.
- 1:03:10Speaker 4: That's kind of sad because like doing something for so
- 1:03:13Speaker 4: long and like you build a following and people start
- 1:03:14Speaker 4: making fun of it and you're like, well, actually I
- 1:03:15Speaker 4: was joking this entire time.
- 1:03:17Speaker 3: You weren't, Yeah, you weren't joking. At all. Just people
- 1:03:20Speaker 3: enjoy her videos, people scauld she just lean into them even.
- 1:03:22Speaker 1: More, and I think she started to she started doing
- 1:03:24Speaker 1: like the impression of herself as the video.
- 1:03:26Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:03:26Speaker 1: But at the same time though, like I would fall
- 1:03:29Speaker 1: into the class of I hate New York if I
- 1:03:32Speaker 1: was in those circles or like that was the stuff
- 1:03:35Speaker 1: that was coming onto my algorithm, Like if I was
- 1:03:37Speaker 1: getting fed that shit all the time, that's like you
- 1:03:39Speaker 1: gotta try carbone, Like if you don't have like a
- 1:03:42Speaker 1: fucking barata, it's.
- 1:03:44Speaker 5: Like I don't give a fuck.
- 1:03:46Speaker 3: Yeah, there was one of they don't give a fun
- 1:03:48Speaker 3: making fun of her that called a crispy Artochoka Sicily's
- 1:03:52Speaker 3: take on a bloomin onion.
- 1:03:55Speaker 1: Pretty fucking funny. That truly is the geek And uh yeah,
- 1:04:00Speaker 1: it's just a tough it's a tough position to be in.
- 1:04:02Speaker 1: But come come Sunday, like my entire TikTok gets flooded
- 1:04:06Speaker 1: with either people making fun and shit like that or
- 1:04:08Speaker 1: just being like the dude from New Zealand, who's like,
- 1:04:12Speaker 1: here the parties that I'm gone to this weekend. Nobody asked,
- 1:04:16Speaker 1: but here's the parties that I'm going to this weekend.
- 1:04:19Speaker 3: I like you.
- 1:04:20Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I should have.
- 1:04:22Speaker 3: I'm out of the loop. Bro, I'm out of the loop.
- 1:04:25Speaker 3: You're not on NYC Talk.
- 1:04:26Speaker 4: Yeah, you're not not on TikTok period. Really, I haven't
- 1:04:30Speaker 4: been on. I got suspended, gone. Really, we're suspended from
- 1:04:34Speaker 4: like every platform where do you platforms they're trying to
- 1:04:36Speaker 4: they're trying to silence us.
- 1:04:37Speaker 1: Well, they can't take edginess. Well it's okay, actually the
- 1:04:42Speaker 1: liberal media. I clicked on the notifications and I hadn't
- 1:04:45Speaker 1: even seen this in a like I hadn't seen older
- 1:04:48Speaker 1: videos of mine that have they've deplatformed. But like there's
- 1:04:52Speaker 1: been like a half dozen battle rap videos taken down
- 1:04:55Speaker 1: for bullying, so weird.
- 1:04:57Speaker 3: It's like, dude, they're trying to make it an app
- 1:04:59Speaker 3: where we.
- 1:05:00Speaker 1: Agreed that we could bully each other. We both signed
- 1:05:02Speaker 1: the contract. We're going to get paid to bully each other.
- 1:05:05Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:05:05Speaker 4: I think it's just like they're trying to make it
- 1:05:07Speaker 4: like a perfect Like only hot dancers are on the app,
- 1:05:11Speaker 4: that's their goal for TikTok.
- 1:05:12Speaker 1: It's only sixteen year old dancers, So like the fucking uh,
- 1:05:17Speaker 1: the demeilios or whatever, Chinese pedophiles are fucking running it. Yeah, no, no,
- 1:05:24Speaker 1: I think China still owns it Okay or a Chinese
- 1:05:26Speaker 1: company obviously not China, but probably China. But if realistic,
- 1:05:31Speaker 1: speaking China, we're gonna call a SPADAS base probably China,
- 1:05:36Speaker 1: which is just a shell corporation for North Korea. We
- 1:05:39Speaker 1: all know that though, So what do you going to
- 1:05:40Speaker 1: Philly for? There's a VIP gambling gambling type of situation.
- 1:05:46Speaker 1: What kind of have toy schmooz the VIPs wine and
- 1:05:48Speaker 1: dine them.
- 1:05:49Speaker 3: You're going to hear a little inside info. The uh
- 1:05:53Speaker 3: penguy has said Run's the best schmoozer at the company.
- 1:05:55Speaker 3: Now I heard, is that true? They love you over
- 1:05:59Speaker 3: at Penn I am the best schmooser at the company.
- 1:06:01Speaker 4: We went over to we went and we went and
- 1:06:02Speaker 4: had dinner with Westy and he was like, Ron is
- 1:06:05Speaker 4: just the best.
- 1:06:06Speaker 3: He's He's like, God, I fucking love Ron. I believe it.
- 1:06:10Speaker 1: It was a masterclass of vesper I. I mean vesper
- 1:06:13Speaker 1: I put on a masterclass. And then at the upfronts,
- 1:06:16Speaker 1: I was talking to a dude. He didn't even know
- 1:06:17Speaker 1: what barstool was. He was like, the guy said, and
- 1:06:20Speaker 1: I quote, your aura is incredible, and I had to
- 1:06:23Speaker 1: back it off. I was like, dude, I'm being way
- 1:06:25Speaker 1: too charming. If some fucking he was a bitcoin guy
- 1:06:27Speaker 1: and he's just like, your aura is fucking incredible. I
- 1:06:30Speaker 1: was like, this guy's gonna this guy's gonna suck me off.
- 1:06:32Speaker 1: And that's the last thing I wanted.
- 1:06:34Speaker 3: Your aura is mesmeraz.
- 1:06:38Speaker 1: It's just the uncomfortable thing to say to somebody that
- 1:06:41Speaker 1: they that they have an aura.
- 1:06:42Speaker 4: You should have been like, yo, check yourself, bro, I'm
- 1:06:46Speaker 4: not like that Roan. You should have started wrap out
- 1:06:50Speaker 4: on him right there.
- 1:06:51Speaker 1: I should have busted out your sculling bar.
- 1:06:53Speaker 3: Yeah, Aura, Flora, Paura Ra, Dora the explorer, Dora the
- 1:07:01Speaker 3: explore rough.
- 1:07:04Speaker 4: They don't know, just ended it there, and he would
- 1:07:06Speaker 4: have been like, your aurna repulses me.
- 1:07:10Speaker 3: Now. He would have gone fucking nuts for it.
- 1:07:11Speaker 4: He's like your aura, and now I hate it now.
- 1:07:15Speaker 4: It sucks a great way to ruin an aura in
- 1:07:18Speaker 4: ten seconds.
- 1:07:19Speaker 3: That sucks. But when things suck, check out better help? Maybe,
- 1:07:24Speaker 3: oh bro, I better help. Just hammering these on us?
- 1:07:27Speaker 5: Huh, I got it out of time. I got better help.
- 1:07:30Speaker 4: Luckily, better help is one that I love and they're
- 1:07:32Speaker 4: friends of the podcast.
- 1:07:34Speaker 1: I got in better Help, and uh they're very helpful.
- 1:07:36Speaker 3: My dad uses better help.
- 1:07:38Speaker 5: Actually, I just gotta I got a five o'clock tomorrow.
- 1:07:41Speaker 1: I got a five o'clock.
- 1:07:43Speaker 4: Better think about therapy is through a bunch of analogies?
- 1:07:46Speaker 3: Are we supposed to read? That doesn't seem like something
- 1:07:49Speaker 3: you're supposed to read.
- 1:07:52Speaker 7: Golf season is in full swing, and getting out there
- 1:07:54Speaker 7: to work on your game is bound to make any
- 1:07:56Speaker 7: day even better. I mean, if you're looking to improve
- 1:07:59Speaker 7: your drive, Chevy Equinox EV is the smartest choice you
- 1:08:03Speaker 7: can make. Bold athletics styling a commanding presence, award winning tech,
- 1:08:09Speaker 7: an impressive range, all with an affordable MSRP, Chevy Equinox
- 1:08:13Speaker 7: EV will put a smile on your face no matter
- 1:08:15Speaker 7: how your scorecard shakes out.
- 1:08:17Speaker 3: Help.
- 1:08:18Speaker 1: We're also going to Nashville. Nashville. Really we gotta take
- 1:08:22Speaker 1: start taking O on the trip.
- 1:08:23Speaker 3: The boys are going to Nashville and it's gonna get rowdy.
- 1:08:27Speaker 1: Yeah, we're gonna go.
- 1:08:28Speaker 3: Where are you going for the full weekend.
- 1:08:30Speaker 1: I'm gonna go, uh try and get some shit done
- 1:08:32Speaker 1: for the full weekend. You go, where you're going to Chicago.
- 1:08:35Speaker 3: Afterwards, I might, Yeah, what do you plan it? What
- 1:08:37Speaker 3: do you have planned for the weekend?
- 1:08:39Speaker 1: A little little content. Well, I'm down there. We're gonna
- 1:08:42Speaker 1: go and busting with the boys. Shout out to uh
- 1:08:45Speaker 1: will comp uh shout out?
- 1:08:47Speaker 3: Will you see?
- 1:08:47Speaker 1: I already went on the podcast on my own, and
- 1:08:50Speaker 1: I guess that wasn't enough. So now we have to
- 1:08:52Speaker 1: go back with SaaS there.
- 1:08:54Speaker 4: Well because Rone's my legal chaperone, and Babe, they can't
- 1:08:58Speaker 4: they can't have me down there low.
- 1:09:00Speaker 1: So we should have a Ghost of Christmas Past episode
- 1:09:04Speaker 1: where it's like you go on like a trip and
- 1:09:06Speaker 1: like get to see your life if you hadn't got
- 1:09:08Speaker 1: to go on all these road trips. And we're just
- 1:09:11Speaker 1: like standing outside of your apartment window and you're just
- 1:09:14Speaker 1: like lying in a pool of your own com on
- 1:09:16Speaker 1: your crusted up sheets, and you haven't left for.
- 1:09:19Speaker 3: My better help appointment isn't ten minutes, But you keep.
- 1:09:22Speaker 1: On skipping your better help appointments because you haven't. You
- 1:09:25Speaker 1: haven't taken care of yourself at all, because I haven't got.
- 1:09:27Speaker 3: You make an ad for better help, go to Christmas Past.
- 1:09:30Speaker 3: If they never.
- 1:09:31Speaker 4: Signed up for better help, that's fire it'd be pretty quick,
- 1:09:34Speaker 4: of course, because quick.
- 1:09:37Speaker 3: Quick as quick ays performed better. Do you two have
- 1:09:40Speaker 3: a few sketches in the works.
- 1:09:42Speaker 1: We had some sketch comp Yeah.
- 1:09:43Speaker 3: I don't know when we're gonna film those though, but.
- 1:09:44Speaker 1: We wrote some shit down. How would you say writing went?
- 1:09:47Speaker 1: How would you say that little writing session we did? Win?
- 1:09:50Speaker 3: Oh? It was good? Yeah, I thought it was fruitful.
- 1:09:53Speaker 3: It was fun better than you're one with Tim Dillon
- 1:09:56Speaker 3: wouldn't say better, so worse? Well, it was more successful.
- 1:10:01Speaker 4: Yeah, it was successful. But also me and Rome work
- 1:10:04Speaker 4: very well together. I think, thank me and my boys
- 1:10:06Speaker 4: Tammy do too.
- 1:10:08Speaker 1: I think you guys just need to work on getting
- 1:10:10Speaker 1: more reps in in the gym.
- 1:10:12Speaker 3: Yeah.
- 1:10:12Speaker 5: Also I have whenever I come to writing something I
- 1:10:16Speaker 5: wanted to.
- 1:10:16Speaker 3: Probably shouldn't sit like this, get blocked out of the
- 1:10:19Speaker 3: It looks dope.
- 1:10:20Speaker 4: The field of view. It was comfortable for a second,
- 1:10:22Speaker 4: but continue. I like to bring five ideas whenever I
- 1:10:25Speaker 4: go and writing something. Yeah, even if they're shitty ass ideas.
- 1:10:28Speaker 3: That's smart, that's smart. I just like to get the
- 1:10:30Speaker 3: ball rolling.
- 1:10:32Speaker 4: I think a lot of our listeners could benefit from that,
- 1:10:35Speaker 4: not just in comedy, but in life.
- 1:10:36Speaker 1: Just bringing five ideas and coming to them without judgment.
- 1:10:40Speaker 4: Bring five ideas into everything that you do in your
- 1:10:42Speaker 4: daily life. Yeah, dinner time, five ideas for discussion. I've
- 1:10:47Speaker 4: heard of people that do that. They like plan out
- 1:10:50Speaker 4: what they're going to say at a dinner party. Shit
- 1:10:52Speaker 4: they're going to talk about. This is becoming a very
- 1:10:54Speaker 4: motivational podcast.
- 1:10:55Speaker 1: I hope, So, I fucking hope we could whip somebody
- 1:10:58Speaker 1: into shape.
- 1:10:59Speaker 3: And I asked you this question. I leave you with this.
- 1:11:03Speaker 3: Why not you thank you a short ass ted talk. Yeah,
- 1:11:10Speaker 3: you should be like a Jimmy day like this podcast.
- 1:11:13Speaker 3: You should laugh, cry and yeah, exactly, we want to
- 1:11:17Speaker 3: work through all.
- 1:11:17Speaker 1: You should be moved to orgasm.
- 1:11:19Speaker 3: Oh yes, one time a day.
- 1:11:21Speaker 1: I pray to be moved to orgasm without and not
- 1:11:25Speaker 1: a sexual orgasm either.
- 1:11:27Speaker 4: Exactly. I ask you this, and now I ask you this.
- 1:11:29Speaker 4: Why does an orgasm strictly have to be sexual? Why
- 1:11:33Speaker 4: must we come with lust attached to it? An evil
- 1:11:36Speaker 4: emotion attached to something so pure is coming? Why can't
- 1:11:39Speaker 4: we leave lust aside? Why can't an orgasm be finishing
- 1:11:44Speaker 4: your chores for the day, opening the door for someone helping,
- 1:11:48Speaker 4: a stranger helping an or orgasm.
- 1:11:52Speaker 3: I ask you this. I ask you this.
- 1:11:55Speaker 5: Helping an old lady across the street.
- 1:11:57Speaker 1: Why can't that be our orgasm for the day?
- 1:12:00Speaker 3: I muffs and orguys and be so sexual.
- 1:12:02Speaker 1: Vigilante justice, catching our landlord who's been thieving.
- 1:12:06Speaker 5: Why can't that be a thing that makes us come
- 1:12:08Speaker 5: at the end of the day.
- 1:12:08Speaker 3: The Bible states thou shalt not steal from thy neighbor.
- 1:12:13Speaker 3: You went from Ted talk to Homily, but my landlord
- 1:12:17Speaker 3: steals from me. Explain this, I asked my landlord, why
- 1:12:21Speaker 3: why me? Bro?
- 1:12:22Speaker 1: I went to the movie about Tammy Fay Baker. Do
- 1:12:25Speaker 1: you know who Tammy Faye Baker is?
- 1:12:27Speaker 6: No?
- 1:12:27Speaker 1: She was an evangelist. She was like a televangelist who
- 1:12:30Speaker 1: like made a fucking nut in the nineties. She made
- 1:12:32Speaker 1: a fucking ton of money and there was just a
- 1:12:34Speaker 1: bunch of televangelists. She was one of the first people.
- 1:12:36Speaker 1: And she had twenty million listeners a day. And they
- 1:12:39Speaker 1: would have a full broadcasts of fucking twenty million people
- 1:12:43Speaker 1: that they would just be talking to on their network
- 1:12:45Speaker 1: about God. And they were just selling God and just
- 1:12:48Speaker 1: being like and I need you to double your double
- 1:12:51Speaker 1: your pledge. This month and just spend twice as night.
- 1:12:54Speaker 3: It happens at just normal church.
- 1:12:56Speaker 1: It's crazy.
- 1:12:57Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like it will be like a fifteen minute
- 1:12:59Speaker 3: advertising session.
- 1:13:01Speaker 1: I could be friends with a murderer before I could
- 1:13:04Speaker 1: be friends with like a priest who was asking it
- 1:13:06Speaker 1: for people to do that kind.
- 1:13:07Speaker 3: Of Actually, right now, I'm watching this show called Midnight Mass.
- 1:13:11Speaker 1: You ever seen like a Haunting of Hill House or
- 1:13:14Speaker 1: like a I think it's like a Haunting of Blind
- 1:13:16Speaker 1: Manner something like that.
- 1:13:17Speaker 4: There's two it's by the same people. It's a good show.
- 1:13:19Speaker 4: It's really good. I'm like halfway through.
- 1:13:21Speaker 5: It, dope, And what's it about mass?
- 1:13:24Speaker 3: It's about like a priest.
- 1:13:25Speaker 1: And are they just asking for cash the entire time?
- 1:13:27Speaker 3: No, it's like a horror type thing.
- 1:13:29Speaker 1: So it's just like a pedophile.
- 1:13:32Speaker 3: Not quite, but I'm not saying he isn't.
- 1:13:35Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't even have to make pretty scary, because
- 1:13:38Speaker 1: like they're inherently fucking terrifying.
- 1:13:42Speaker 3: That is facts. I see no cap there.
- 1:13:48Speaker 1: But part of me sometimes wishes that I had that
- 1:13:50Speaker 1: part of my brain turned off where I could just
- 1:13:53Speaker 1: like be like, yeah, I'm gonna pretend to be like
- 1:13:54Speaker 1: super into God. So I can ask people for money
- 1:13:56Speaker 1: because they'll be easily tricked by I think that they're
- 1:13:59Speaker 1: gonna go to heaven eventually if they just give.
- 1:14:00Speaker 3: Me anough cash.
- 1:14:02Speaker 1: I wish that I could just fucking uh, But I'm
- 1:14:04Speaker 1: just too good of a fucking god.
- 1:14:06Speaker 3: Yeah you are.
- 1:14:07Speaker 5: I'm just way too really a deacon of a human being.
- 1:14:10Speaker 4: It's hard working with someone that's so good and humble,
- 1:14:13Speaker 4: that's so talented and humbles, a genuinely good person and
- 1:14:16Speaker 4: also humble.
- 1:14:18Speaker 1: May may we may we all be as.
- 1:14:20Speaker 3: Humble as me someday?
- 1:14:21Speaker 4: It makes me question why, why me? Why does ron
- 1:14:27Speaker 4: choose to sit in the chair next to me? What
- 1:14:31Speaker 4: have I done to deserve this?
- 1:14:33Speaker 1: I'm filmed with overwhelming gratitude, but at the same time fear.
- 1:14:42Speaker 3: That it'll all end one day rapidly.
- 1:14:46Speaker 1: Well, let me teach you something. Fear is a more
- 1:14:49Speaker 1: more potent experience than love. And uh, it could all
- 1:14:52Speaker 1: end today. Damn, you're spitting If that bird, if that
- 1:14:55Speaker 1: bird goes down, if I hop on that helicopter with
- 1:14:58Speaker 1: uh the boss man and the other boss But bet
- 1:15:01Speaker 1: or not, Bro.
- 1:15:01Speaker 3: You're gonna get off a Ri Shaffir tweet if it does.
- 1:15:04Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'd be.
- 1:15:05Speaker 4: Like, Rome was kind of a piece of shit. Roan David,
- 1:15:11Speaker 4: big cat not good guys. So I'm not too upset
- 1:15:16Speaker 4: that this happened. Will I be going to the club tonight?
- 1:15:18Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I probably will.
- 1:15:21Speaker 1: Divs on his desk, divs on Dave's office. Yeah. I
- 1:15:26Speaker 1: wonder if Dave has any kind of will that you
- 1:15:27Speaker 1: could like slide into. I'll try to have him like, uh, prob,
- 1:15:31Speaker 1: what age do you have to be do when you
- 1:15:32Speaker 1: start writing a will? What time you have to be there?
- 1:15:34Speaker 3: By the way, six, I gotta be at the helipad
- 1:15:38Speaker 3: at six. Oh okay, so you're good.
- 1:15:40Speaker 1: Well helopad's not in the building, brother, Well we'll get
- 1:15:44Speaker 1: it here. That's what I was like, Do I am
- 1:15:45Speaker 1: I gonna leave from a fucking roof? I feel like
- 1:15:47Speaker 1: that that'll be the scariest part now, going up to
- 1:15:49Speaker 1: a roof and then just like taking off, I'd rather
- 1:15:51Speaker 1: take off from ground level. I don't want to take
- 1:15:54Speaker 1: off from a roof.
- 1:15:54Speaker 4: It's gonna be funny because doesn't Dave ride helicopters like
- 1:15:56Speaker 4: all the time.
- 1:15:58Speaker 3: Maybe he's gonna be shitting on you. Let me know
- 1:16:00Speaker 3: if he says anything about me by the.
- 1:16:01Speaker 1: Way, we're definitely gonna talk about I'm gonna bring up
- 1:16:04Speaker 1: numbies where I get there.
- 1:16:06Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd love to know facetiming if you.
- 1:16:08Speaker 1: Have to think we're gonna get fucking reception from inside the.
- 1:16:12Speaker 3: Bird, dude, birds have the best reception the chopper up
- 1:16:16Speaker 3: in the clouds. Yeah, I'll let you know how far
- 1:16:23Speaker 3: enery or twenty one. Oh, let's get the fuck out here.
- 1:16:28Speaker 3: I we were out like fifty minutes. Let's get the
- 1:16:31Speaker 3: fuck out he all right. Thank you for listening. And
- 1:16:33Speaker 3: before I leave, I ask you.
- 1:16:34Speaker 4: This, why do you choose to listen but not subscribe?
- 1:16:45Speaker 3: Thank you?
- 1:16:48Speaker 1: Be kind to yourself, and be kind to yourself and
- 1:16:51Speaker 1: each other and each other