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Why do narcissists spread so many Rumors? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people?
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  Today we're answering the question, why do narcissists
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  spread so many rumors? Some narcissists.
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  A lot of narcissists. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of the
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  Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Whoa. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back, folks.
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  My voice is getting a little better.
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  I'm almost back 100%. Yeah, yeah yeah.
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  Narcissists and those pesky rumours.
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  The rumour mill that is toxic, narcissistic, abusive people.
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  Y'all. Why the hell do narcissists love
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  spreading so many rumours? Like why?
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  Why can't narcissistic people just be?
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  Why can't they just talk normal? Why can't they just fit in?
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  Why can't they? Why?
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  Why? Why?
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  Y'all y'all. Narcissists have to be special.
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  We have to feel like we are special in some way, shape or
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  form. A lot of narcissistic people
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  feel that way right there. But why do narcissists spread so
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  many rumors? The narrative, Y'all it's it's
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  all about control. When I say spreading rumors,
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  typically I'm referring to a smear campaign.
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  You know, smear campaigns are with narcissistic people create
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  a lot of vicious rumors and conjecture and lies and to try
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  to control the narrative. Narcissistic people tend to be
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  the biggest gossip girls gossip, boys gossip people around.
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  You know what I mean? Just gossiping.
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  They toxic asses off just because they want to control the
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  narrative. They want to protect their
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  reputation if at all possible. If I can protect my reputation,
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  if I can guard my reputation, how do I do that?
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  You know, how do I protect my reputation?
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  So sometimes a narcissist will start.
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  I know a lot of people start and think narcissist start like if
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  they're in a relationship with you, right?
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  And y'all break up. A lot of people think that that
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  narcissistic person will start spreading rumors after the
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  relationship ends. We'll start planting the seeds
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  of a smear campaign after the relationship ends because rumors
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  are just part of the smear campaign.
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  Yeah, the smear campaign is rumors, lies, conjecture, just
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  falsity, just a lot of different stuff.
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  But rumors are part of it, right?
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  So a lot of people think that they start this after the
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  relationship ends. Is it?
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  It could be your parent. This is it.
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  Like. So when I say relationship, I
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  mean relationship dynamic. It doesn't have to be an
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  intimate partnership. It could be your parents.
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  It could be your friends, your family members.
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  It could be somebody close to you, your Co workers, your boss,
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  right before they like right after they fire you, they spread
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  rumors about why they fired you, how you are terrible employee or
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  whatever. You know what I mean?
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  But this is what happens. Like some a lot of times they
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  start spreading the rumors and the and the stuff like that.
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  The lies, this American man. Why y'all are still together.
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  Like, why are you still? Why you still involved in the
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  relationship dynamic? Why you're still working at the
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  company. Why you're still living with
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  your parents or in communication with your parents.
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  Why you're still married. Why you're still in this
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  intimate relationship. Why you're still in this long
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  distance relationship. You know why you're still in
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  this class, why you still, why you still BFFS making friendship
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  bracelets and stuff and things like that.
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  You know, a lot of times they'll start spreading these rumors
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  before because they know what's happening, they know what comes
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  next. It's a it's a lot of times y'all
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  it's pre planned what comes next, they planned it out.
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  It's intentional what comes down.
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  I'm not saying every single time, I'm not saying all the
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  time. I'm saying I'm saying a lot of
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  the time it's intentional. What they say and what they do,
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  It's intentional the lies that they make up, the rumors that
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  they create. It's intentional.
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  That's what I'm saying right there, that a lot of it tends to
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  be intentional. They are making a egg that just
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  in case, you know, not the relationship, doesn't have to be
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  on the way out. This is just in case.
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  I'm spreading rumors about you, just in case we break up or we
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  get divorced. Just in case my name pops up in
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  an unsavory moment. Just in case something happens
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  or something goes on in those circumstances, just in case it
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  provides A narcissist a like blanket of protection.
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  You mean like a cloak? You don't have Harry Potter,
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  Harry Potter, Harry Potter. They used to have, like the
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  little invisibility, invisibility cloak.
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  That's what the rumors in the smear campaign are.
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  It allows me to control the narrative.
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  You can see me, but I can't see you.
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  No, no, you can't see me. You can't see me for who I
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  really am, but I can see you. You know, when my Snape reached
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  out and tried to grab it like that.
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  That's what happens sometimes in these toxic relationship spaces.
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  Y'all. So that's what I'm just telling
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  you. You have to be ready to be
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  guided in the right direction to where you go, to where you're
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  going and what comes next. You have to be you know, That's
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  what I'm just telling you. Like the narcissist, they're
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  going to start the rumors before y'all even break up before you.
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  Why are you still living with them Like they started this
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  before? So just in case it's a backup
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  plan, just in case, does something horrible happens.
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  Oh my mom. My mom's a narcissist and she
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  kicked me out. Your mom then already told
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  everybody that you were freeloaded, your butt stink, and
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  you never showered. You were ungrateful.
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  You didn't pay any. Your mom already told that your
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  mom is a narcissist, and she already started telling people
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  that. She already started spreading
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  the rumors, even if they're not true.
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  You mean you bathe everyday You got a fresh, fresh buns.
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  Fresh you know firstly shower let's not.
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  But that happens right there. You know that's part of the
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  dynamic, that's part of the the case.
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  You know what I mean? If I tell people like this is
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  how it goes like they are already just in case they kick
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  you out. They don't already told people,
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  you know what I mean? They didn't already told me you
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  didn't quote your mom cheating on your dad, right?
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  And she kicks you out and tells everybody that she kicks you out
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  because you stink, because you ungrate if you didn't pay bills
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  this preemptive. Now, if you tell your dad your
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  mom was cheating, your narcissistic mom was cheating,
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  they just like, Oh no, she ain't cheating you just mad 'cause she
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  kicked you out. You see how that happens, Take a
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  bath then come back and talk to me.
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  Sometimes it's pre planned just in case they might not have the
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  intent on kicking you out. But sometimes their hands get
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  forced and they kick you out because their hands is forced.
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  So because they they break up with you because their hands are
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  forced. Like I broke up with them
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  because they were cheating on me and then I said they they they
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  didn't told. They didn't spread the rumor
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  that you were cheating on them. So when they cheat on you, it's
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  justified. You see what I'm saying?
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  People catch them cheating out on you.
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  There's like, yeah, I told y'all that she was cheating on me.
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  So what? Y'all sweet me to do.
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  Can I get my lick back? Y'all don't have to tell
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  anybody. Y'all understand what I'm doing.
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  Gotcha. Gotcha.
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  Gone get you. Gone get you.
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  See how that works right there. There's a very interesting
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  dynamic, a very interesting space for people to be in right
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  there. So that's what I'm telling you.
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  When you're dealing with a narcissist, when you're dealing
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  with a toxic person, this is how it goes.
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  They might start these spreading these rumors to control the
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  narrative, to protect themselves, to shield or cloak
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  themselves. That's where these that's where
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  it comes from. Like that's why they're
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  spreading these rumors. That's why they're making these
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  lies, or that's why they're telling these half truths and
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  leaving things out. That's why they omitting a lot
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  of stuff. A lot of stuff.
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  Because that's the way things go.
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  Y'all they love it, they love it, love it, love it.
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  They love controlling the narrative.
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  They love doing stuff like this because it makes them feel
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  empowered. You know what I mean?
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  That's why I just tell people like, well, Lee, what do we do?
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  You told us. You told us that.
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  They spread rumors. What do we do?
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  Y'all document things that you're going through.
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  Document things that you're experiencing.
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  Because when they're spreading these rumors, things could
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  actually be going good in your relationship.
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  You could you like you. You could literally feel like
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  you're in a good place in your relationship.
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  And then they start spreading. You start hearing these rumors.
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  If you start hearing rumors, y'all address the rumor as soon
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  as you can. Don't let it fester.
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  Don't let it grow. Don't let it bubble like like,
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  put some, put some, put some ointment on the rash the rumor,
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  Put some, put some some truth ointment on the rumor rash to
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  heal it before it gets too big because you don't want it.
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  Like said, once it gets too big, it's kind of it's it.
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  It kind of just takes over, it takes over.
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  It has a mind of its own, you know.
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  And another reason a lot of narcissists will spread rumors
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  is because it's fun. It's fun to them to control the
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  narratives, to see a rumor they started spread into something
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  big. It's kind of like I got the
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  match. I had this little match right
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  here, right? This little match created like
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  this little match started this rumor, right.
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  I dropped the rumor and now it's turned into a damn forest fire
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  of lies, manipulation in smear campaign.
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  You see this one little rumor or these, these little rumors,
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  these little cluster of rumors have now turned into a forest
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  fire of manipulation and lies and things like that.
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  That's why they're telling people like it It it goes in
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  this direction a lot of the time.
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  You know, it's tough to deal with.
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  It's tough to process. And that's why just like I'm
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  trying to help wake as many people up as I can, you know,
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  because if you don't wake up this, like, yeah, be being
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  realistic, this is probably going to be your be your future.
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  Like if you, like I said, if you are experiencing this right now,
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  this is probably going to be in your very close future.
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  They just say it like that, give me a very close future, that a
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  narcissistic person starts spreading rumors about you.
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  And like, they love playing these games, 'cause it's fun to
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  watch this little rumor, turn it into something big and blow the
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  hell up. They love that.
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  It's like they, you know, seen the movie The 18 or the TV show
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  the 18. I love it when a plan comes
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  together. A narcissist loves, loves it.
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  When a toxic ass plan comes together and they and they and
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  they can celebrate. It's just like, yes, I did that,
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  they did. They y'all.
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  They get a little weirdly unique high from it.
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  I did that. I made that blow.
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  I blew that relationship up. That was me.
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  That did that. Me, mine.
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  My own. My precious, precious.
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  That's for Lord of the Rings. But that's how it happens.
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  Y'all, you know, I'm telling you, we in in order to heal and
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  grow, just you have to like you have to to stop the forest fire.
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  You have to stomp out the embers before they get too big, you
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  know. But a lot, a lot of times those
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  rumors, you know, they start these rumors and they have the
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  rumors have a little bit of truth in them, right?
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  The rumors always have a little like a little dabble of truth
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  with it within them, but so, so it it can be believable.
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  So that's what I'm telling y'all.
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  In these situations you have to protect yourself because if you
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  don't protect yourself you end up getting just taken advantage
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  of and the rumors spread and people started to believe the
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  rumors and the people started to believe the smear campaign.
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  The little rumor turns into a full-fledged smear campaign and
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  once they just started they like sometimes y'all.
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  This is like especially in the workplace, nobody even knows
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  where the hell the rumors started at.
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  The the person who started the rumor typically ends up being
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  the only person who knows how to rumor even got started.
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  Like y'all who even made this up.
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  I don't know where it came from whole time.
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  It's me whole time I made it up you mean.
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  Anyways y'all thank you all for tuning in to another episode.
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• 12:08
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• 12:22
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  Peace.