Latest / Mental Health and the Mission of the Church / 8-Minute MindShift Wk 10
Transcript
- 0:02SPEAKER_00: Good morning, everybody.
- 0:03SPEAKER_00: Sorry, I'm just a little bit late this morning.
- 0:06SPEAKER_00: I'm uh I'm not at home.
- 0:08SPEAKER_00: If I look a little older and more tired than usual, it's because I'm uh on the road in a different time zone.
- 0:15SPEAKER_00: I'm actually in Austin, Texas.
- 0:17SPEAKER_00: Uh, if you remember the story I told about my daughter a couple weeks ago, the one that uh phone call, you know, and uh doing great last week, not so good this week.
- 0:28SPEAKER_00: That's where I am.
- 0:29SPEAKER_00: I'm at her home uh helping them move.
- 0:33SPEAKER_00: So uh I may not have made it to the gym this week, but I definitely got a workout.
- 0:37SPEAKER_00: So here's what I want you to do this morning.
- 0:39SPEAKER_00: I want you to think about what um, you know, you're planning a picnic, and you uh I remember when we were dating, my wife used to do that, and uh she'd pack a basket and all that and food and blanket and whatever.
- 0:55SPEAKER_00: It's pretty cool stuff.
- 0:56SPEAKER_00: But imagine going to a picnic and you lay out all your stuff and uh you know you kind of connect a little bit and then you get up and go for a walk, and uh you come back, you know, you go for a walk, 10, 15, 20, 30 minutes, whatever, and you come back, and lo and behold, somebody else is enjoying your picnic, and it's the ants, ANTS ants are enjoying your picnic.
- 1:22SPEAKER_00: So I want to talk a little bit about that today.
- 1:24SPEAKER_00: I want you to imagine that the picnic is your day, your week, whatever, your month, and you've planned it out and you've got it going a certain way, and then it uh it just goes bad, goes south, goes off track.
- 1:38SPEAKER_00: And um I want to talk to you today about how what ruined your picnic is the same thing that often ruins our days, our hours and our minutes, our relationships, our friendships, and it's the ants, A N T S, and we'll talk about that in a second, tell you exactly what that is.
- 1:56SPEAKER_00: But I want to tell you about last week I shared about a guy named Simon.
- 1:59SPEAKER_00: This week I want to talk to you about a young lady named Carmen.
- 2:03SPEAKER_00: Carmen sees herself as incompetent.
- 2:06SPEAKER_00: She says things like this to herself nothing I do works.
- 2:10SPEAKER_00: I make incredibly lousy decisions.
- 2:13SPEAKER_00: Even if I make the right decision, I screw it up so things fall apart.
- 2:18SPEAKER_00: And I'll be honest with you, I felt a little bit like this myself.
- 2:22SPEAKER_00: So Carmen has become passive.
- 2:25SPEAKER_00: She drifts, allowing events to carry her along.
- 2:28SPEAKER_00: She accepts the attention of uncaring, even brutal men.
- 2:34SPEAKER_00: She stays at a stressful, low-paying job because, in quotes, I'd probably end up someplace worse if I changed.
- 2:43SPEAKER_00: She lives with her abusive grandmother because I don't know if I could take care of myself.
- 2:48SPEAKER_00: So here's a person who has things going on inside of her that affect how she sees herself and it has a pretty strong effect on choices she makes and everything else she does.
- 3:02SPEAKER_00: As we said last week and about every week we've talked, these are heart beliefs, or they affect our heart beliefs.
- 3:10SPEAKER_00: They affect the decisions we make, and really important thought, they tend to operate outside of our awareness.
- 3:20SPEAKER_00: And um what they do is they form ants.
- 3:24SPEAKER_00: And here's what an ant is an ant is an automatic negative thought.
- 3:28SPEAKER_00: Automatic negative thought.
- 3:31SPEAKER_00: I uh I told you about my dad, you know, that he wasn't very good at expressing affection, and um he he you know wasn't very encouraging and that kind of thing.
- 3:42SPEAKER_00: And he um he would uh say to me, you're lazy and you never mount anything.
- 3:50SPEAKER_00: So what what happened was that that belief kind of spawned other beliefs, and it affected the way I see myself and the way I think and the way I go into different situations.
- 4:05SPEAKER_00: And um, I wanted to talk to you a little bit today about what you can do about starting to work on your ants, your automatic negative thoughts.
- 4:15SPEAKER_00: I would let that one file in there, by the way, because it's a really important thought.
- 4:20SPEAKER_00: Ants, automatic negative thoughts.
- 4:23SPEAKER_00: Because that's frequently what sabotages our days, what makes us get off track and uh end up in places emotionally and behaviorally that uh we just kind of like, how in the world did I get here?
- 4:38SPEAKER_00: So I want to give you just a couple of things to think about, and then we'll develop them more fully as we keep going in this vein of talking about what's stopping us, what's keeping us from uh having and enjoying what life wants us to have, God wants us to have, what we want to have.
- 4:57SPEAKER_00: So let me give you four things real quick just to think about, and like I said, we'll be developing these as we go forward.
- 5:04SPEAKER_00: Number one, own OW and own your emotions.
- 5:08SPEAKER_00: They're in your circle, I like to say, because I teach on boundaries and I tell everybody to imagine that you live inside a hula hoop, and everything inside that hula hoop is your responsibility.
- 5:19SPEAKER_00: And uh, we'll talk a whole session one time about some of the chemical and other things that can affect our emotions.
- 5:26SPEAKER_00: So I don't mean that if you suffer from a chemical, physiological depression, anxiety, etc.
- 5:33SPEAKER_00: But in general, the bulge of the bell curve, of as I call most of us, we need to own our emotions.
- 5:40SPEAKER_00: They're in our circle, and uh we need to be responsible for them.
- 5:44SPEAKER_00: The second thing is don't let the ants ruin your picnic.
- 5:48SPEAKER_00: Don't let your automatic negative thoughts, remember Proverbs 23, 7.
- 5:53SPEAKER_00: Um, for as he thinks within himself, so is he.
- 5:58SPEAKER_00: Um how you think, remember last week or last couple weeks, we've talked about B T F A equals R.
- 6:05SPEAKER_00: What you believe drives what you think.
- 6:08SPEAKER_00: Thinking is really talking to yourself.
- 6:10SPEAKER_00: What you believe drives what you think, what you think drives what you feel, what you feel drives how you act, and that creates the result that you get.
- 6:19SPEAKER_00: So it's really important that we learn how to monitor what we're thinking.
- 6:25SPEAKER_00: In other words, how do we talk to ourselves, which will kind of reveal our beliefs that are driving anything.
- 6:35SPEAKER_00: So, number three, I said own your emotions, don't let the ants ruin your picnic.
- 6:39SPEAKER_00: Number three, slow down, slow down regularly, and quiet yourself on the inside and the outside.
- 6:50SPEAKER_00: Every once in a while, you just gotta slow down.
- 6:52SPEAKER_00: Why?
- 6:52SPEAKER_00: So that you can hear what's going on up here.
- 6:55SPEAKER_00: Normally we're on autopilot and we're just reacting to life.
- 6:59SPEAKER_00: Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.
- 7:01SPEAKER_00: And we're living out of a script that was written maybe decades ago, and we and we we need to learn how to pull that up and look at it and say, you know, I don't think I want to live by this script anymore.
- 7:14SPEAKER_00: So slow down regularly and quiet yourself on the inside and the outside.
- 7:20SPEAKER_00: And then the last one for today is build a loving support system and get the help you need.
- 7:27SPEAKER_00: Oh well, you mean if I need it?
- 7:29SPEAKER_00: No, dude, ma'am, you need it.
- 7:32SPEAKER_00: Everybody needs help.
- 7:33SPEAKER_00: I need help.
- 7:34SPEAKER_00: We all need help.
- 7:35SPEAKER_00: And uh, I just encourage you to build a system around you.
- 7:39SPEAKER_00: People that love you right the way you are right now.
- 7:43SPEAKER_00: They know you're not perfect, but they're not either, and they love you.
- 7:47SPEAKER_00: But you need two or three that love you just the way you are, but will speak the truth to you.
- 7:53SPEAKER_00: Because what they'll do is they'll they'll love you with grace, but they'll help you change with truth.
- 8:02SPEAKER_00: And there's power in a community of healing.
- 8:07SPEAKER_00: So uh find someone to talk to, a friend, if you think you need to, uh go even further than that and talk to a professional.
- 8:15SPEAKER_00: But um build a system around you that'll help you deal with this stuff.
- 8:20SPEAKER_00: All right, we're gonna talk more about this as we keep going forward, learning how to figure out how and why we are allowing ourselves to be stopped, blocked, inhibited from entering into all that life has for us, that God has for us.
- 8:37SPEAKER_00: Love you guys.
- 8:38SPEAKER_00: See you next week.