Latest / Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday / Success Without Burnout | Jennifer Keable, Speaker | Shed Talk with Kevin Halliday Ep. #120
Transcript
- Kevin: I'm sitting down with Jennifer Kevin: Keeble do I think I get that Guest: right? You got it. Kevin: a speaker a leadership coach and Kevin: someone that helps recognize Kevin: burnout and builds something that Kevin: can be sustainable for everybody Kevin: now we're going to ask some Kevin: questions that deserves an Kevin: honest answer what is success Kevin: actually costing you now Jennifer Kevin: when you look back at your own Kevin: experiences what was the warning Kevin: signs and how do you explain it Guest: or Guest: yeah yeah so I remember coming home Kevin: away. Guest: from work so at the time I was a Guest: project manager for a general Guest: contractor and I've always been an Guest: ambitious high achiever got to do Guest: the best Guest: that I can possibly do and really Guest: impress everybody um and I remember Guest: giving it all work coming home at Guest: the time I had two young boys two Guest: under three years of age and so Guest: when I was on Guest: I needed to be on. They needed me Guest: in a very real way. And I just Guest: remember I would come home. I would Guest: sit on the stairs. That's always Guest: where I took my shoes off, put my Guest: slippers on. And I would always Guest: have this little voice saying, Guest: Jennifer, you just got to slow Guest: down. Just slow down. It was almost Guest: like the devil and angel scenario. Guest: And then all of a sudden, you know, Guest: the devil would show up and be Guest: like, yeah, you don't got time for Guest: that. Like, just keep going. You Guest: don't got time. Just keep Guest: going. And it just kept that voice Guest: kept happening over and over. And Guest: it always seemed to show up on the Guest: stairs and I think it's because it Guest: was the moment I got home where it Guest: was just like a pause Guest: even if it was the pause of taking Guest: off my shoes but I just remember Guest: continually dismissing that idea Guest: telling myself that I didn't have Guest: time or you know another thing that Guest: I gave up was my workouts Guest: I've always loved being really Guest: active being physical and I hadn't Guest: done it for a really long long Guest: time. I blamed it on my boys. It Guest: wasn't my boys. It was me not Guest: so you Guest: prioritizing it. Kevin: would just mention right there and Kevin: you're going you heard this voice Kevin: okay in your head and you didn't Kevin: acknowledge Guest: it does Kevin: No, I know. Kevin: a lot of people get that voice in Kevin: their head Or is it just kind of a Kevin: – and I'm not talking imposter Kevin: syndrome because you talk a little Kevin: bit about imposter syndrome as well Kevin: Right. Kevin: in your talks Kevin: and everything that you do with Kevin: your public speaking. But the Kevin: question I wanted to know is with Kevin: that voice and people are hearing, Kevin: should we listen to it? Obviously, Kevin: we're going to say yes. But why Kevin: I Kevin: didn't you? Guest: truly believed I didn't have the Guest: time because for me success right Guest: in quotations here was always Guest: really important to me so if I Guest: slowed down would that somehow Guest: jeopardize the very success that I Guest: spent my entire career working so Guest: hard to build and I wasn't quite Guest: ready to jeopardize that because I Guest: thought that was the only way that Guest: I could. It was be jeopardizing it. Kevin: Now, was success money or what was Kevin: It success to you? Guest: was part of it, yeah. So success Guest: was money. It was the job title. It Guest: was how big were my bonuses, how Guest: big were the projects that I was Guest: working on, how many people were on Guest: the teams, how lofty was the client Guest: that I was working for. Guest: It was very much the egotistical Guest: way of looking at success Guest: or how society might even define Guest: What Guest: success. Kevin: What job did you do? Kevin: job were you doing at the time? Guest: I was a project manager for a Guest: general contractor. doctor. For Kevin: And that's high stress. Guest: sure. Yeah. and Kevin: then so here you are project Kevin: manager you're coming home and you Kevin: have kids Kevin: and you're taking off your shoes Kevin: you're getting there and you're Kevin: saying okay you can't slow down you Kevin: can't so you should slow down but Kevin: you you can't slow down what Kevin: was the toll that it took on Guest: you my Guest: heavy. It was really heavy. Um, the Guest: voice got louder and louder that I Guest: solution Guest: needed to take, take care of Guest: myself. And so it was one of those, Guest: okay, fine. I'll listen. Guest: right I'll my my solution was I'll Guest: go to aerial yoga once every two Guest: weeks and you know this seemed so Guest: grand wow 90 minutes just for me Guest: every two weeks like that's amazing Guest: because keep in mind Guest: I wasn't getting anything at the Guest: time so this seemed very grand and Guest: I was actually at an aerial yoga Guest: class so aerial yoga is this piece Guest: of fabric that hangs in a u from Guest: the ceiling and you can do Guest: stretches flips tricks inversions Guest: but I had made it to the end of Guest: class and I'm lying there in Guest: Shavasana on my back and there's Guest: this gentle sway to the fabric and Guest: all of a sudden there were Guest: tears streaming down my face before Guest: I even realized that there was Guest: tears to stream down my face and I Guest: quickly thought holy crap Jennifer Guest: get it together you're in a room Guest: filled with strangers Guest: like just get it together there's Guest: only a few more moments till the Guest: end of class you can get to car you Guest: can break you know break down in Guest: your car but just get it together Guest: brought Guest: and so I did I got it Guest: it together I was thankful that I Guest: was you know encased within this Guest: in case of fabric. I remember Guest: fabric and nobody could Guest: actually see me and I got to my car Guest: and Kevin it came out I yelled and Guest: I screamed and I remember Guest: banging the steering wheel like Guest: I've never hit anything in my life Guest: I remember pulling at my hair Guest: and I didn't know why I didn't know Guest: why and you know I honestly don't Guest: even remember the drive home home Guest: that night. I don't know how I made Guest: it home safely. Thank God that I Guest: did. Um, but that Guest: continued. And it was, it was scary Guest: for me because I didn't know how to Guest: explain it. I didn't know how to Guest: talk about it. I didn't know what Guest: was going on. And my husband saw it Guest: because it was a safe place Guest: in our home to be able to share Guest: that. Um, but I didn't share it Guest: with anybody else. Guest: Uh, it didn't stop that day. Right. Guest: So I didn't tell, I didn't tell my Guest: manager. I didn't tell my best Guest: friend, my sister my mom the doctor Guest: because for me it was like well Guest: again in quotation successful Guest: people Guest: don't behave this way they got it Guest: together all of the time and I felt Guest: the exact opposite of ever having Guest: it together and so it was a bit of Guest: a I Guest: don't know everything just kind of Guest: meshed up into one after that I Guest: don't know how long the time frame Guest: was after that but I just remember Guest: that That was the lowest of my lows Guest: for quite some time. Kevin: So you're in this and you're Kevin: pounding on your steering wheel, Kevin: Yeah. Kevin: okay? Kevin: You're in the car, you're pulling Kevin: your hair, you're emotional. Kevin: emotional, when you're in there, Guest: Yeah. Kevin: You mentioned Kevin: and I want to kind of get into Kevin: that, that feeling, because Kevin: you mentioned about, you weren't Kevin: allowed, like, you had to have Kevin: success, this is what it, what did Kevin: you recognize it as, like, you, you Kevin: saw this, you're going, am I going Kevin: crazy here, why all of a sudden to Kevin: this, what did I just do, you Kevin: finally had time for yourself, and Kevin: we listened Kevin: to, the listeners are listening to Kevin: this, and going, okay, I had that Kevin: breakdown, what was going through Kevin: your head, like, is there something Kevin: wrong with you, because you, you Kevin: weren't able to share it it with Kevin: anybody else you shared it with Kevin: your husband Guest: thank god okay Kevin: and go on. Guest: Yeah. Kevin: to to start that process Kevin: but when did you realize that it Kevin: was actually or is it a problem i Kevin: and i don't know that that's why Kevin: i'm asking you to do a little bit Kevin: more about it because i'm curious i Kevin: Yeah. Guest: I didn't recognize it at the time. Guest: I didn't understand what it was. I Guest: didn't understand what was going on Guest: with me and why this was showing up Guest: um it was you know in the weeks to Guest: follow it was actually quite a Guest: memorable moment for me I remember Guest: I was sitting on our Guest: basement floor and I'm leaned up Guest: against the wall and kind of Guest: crouched down and my back is Guest: against the wall and I remember Guest: asking myself well if you're so Guest: caught up in success at the time I Guest: had Guest: more success than I thought that I Guest: ever would there was opportunities Guest: on the table I never ever thought Guest: were going to come to me. And I Guest: remember asking myself, well, if Guest: you're truly a success, then why Guest: aren't you happy? Guest: And that question for me, Kevin, Guest: changed everything. Guest: Are you truly a success if you're Guest: not happy? To me, it was like a Guest: loud shouting no. Guest: Like, no, I'm not successful if I Guest: am not happy. And I had achieved Guest: more financial success, more Guest: success in other ways than I Guest: thought I ever would. And I was the Guest: least happy I'd ever been. Guest: And so for me, that was the Guest: defining moment and the realization Guest: of, oh, this is what this is all Guest: about. I've been just pushing Guest: myself. And it wasn't all about the Guest: workload, right? Guest: So often people think that we burn Guest: out simply because of our workload. Guest: We can burn out because of what we Guest: put on our personal plates. For me, Guest: it was a combination. Guest: um Guest: but that was the defining moment Guest: where I really realized oh I'm Guest: burnt out and I've just been Guest: chasing this version of success Guest: that wasn't even mine I didn't even Guest: define it to begin with I just Guest: grabbed onto society's definition Guest: and went running with it Guest: i went right so Kevin: when you talk about burnout and so Kevin: here you are you're downstairs you Kevin: just have an epiphany it's it's Kevin: about work okay and this is Kevin: what it is about the success okay Kevin: now in your head you're thinking Kevin: it's about work and success Kevin: how does your husband play a role Kevin: in this because all of a sudden Kevin: you're there and you just put it Kevin: into success as my work and then Kevin: you're saying this what it is now Kevin: and i'm going to go in the marriage Kevin: side of it because with people with Kevin: relationships and they do that and Kevin: and you're Kevin: counting it as one side but what Kevin: about the other side because he Kevin: would have been going through some Kevin: same thing with you as well because Kevin: it can't be one -sided like here's Kevin: here's you're talking about success Kevin: and the burnout and well what does Kevin: success cost to me did you ever Kevin: have the question is why Kevin: am i married or maybe he's the Kevin: problem or or maybe it's this and Kevin: it's kind of like asking a Kevin: different different question Kevin: because for you to come up with the Kevin: success of saying my burnout is Kevin: because it's enough money it's Kevin: enough this but then all of a Kevin: sudden well maybe I'm not happy Kevin: with my Kevin: marriage maybe I'm not happy with Kevin: this maybe that is because we all Kevin: go through that and say okay Kevin: yeah it's success this well sure Kevin: I've got all the money in the world Kevin: but well maybe my relations met you Kevin: well maybe my right i'm not saying Kevin: know and not saying that was the Kevin: that right Kevin: case but I wanted to kind of Kevin: because they seem to correlate back Kevin: sure sure Kevin: and Kevin: forth. Guest: didn't Guest: relate a lot of it to my husband at Guest: the time or see like um challenges Guest: with us as necessarily contributing Guest: to that if i were to look look back Guest: at the reality that we were both Guest: living, and that was that we were Guest: both working full -time Guest: jobs, raising two boys under three Guest: years of age. Guest: Yeah, there was a lot going on. How Guest: our dynamics probably fed into that Guest: is it's taken me a lot of years, I Guest: would say, to be able to ask for Guest: help. Guest: I always saw asking for help, Guest: regardless of the type of help, as Guest: a sign of weakness. It was just, I Guest: can do it all. Of course I can do Guest: it all. I always have. I didn't ask Guest: for help then. Why Guest: would I ask for help now? It didn't Guest: even cross my mind that I should be Guest: asking for help for certain things, Guest: or maybe not even that I should, Guest: but that it would make my life Guest: easier if I asked Guest: for help in certain ways. And so Guest: there was a lot of things Guest: personally in our home life where I Guest: would just push myself to the Guest: limits trying to get it done Guest: without ever even thinking, hey, Guest: maybe you Guest: have a supportive partner that you Guest: could just ask to do this so I'm Guest: sure that that also contributed to Guest: the burnout as well for sure Guest: yeah Kevin: because it's interesting because Kevin: here you are and you brought the Kevin: conversation to them but you're Kevin: going through that whole emotional Kevin: roller coaster and it's it's kind Kevin: of like the past a lot of us say um Kevin: the grass is greener on the other Kevin: side okay well somebody had to mow Kevin: it okay Guest: so so Kevin: somebody has it doesn't matter how Kevin: you're doing and then when you get Kevin: into the burnout side and then all Kevin: of a sudden the first thing that we Kevin: react oh it must be my spouse oh Kevin: they're not doing the work they're Kevin: supposed to do they're supposed to Kevin: pick up they're supposed to do this Kevin: you're supposed to help me yes Kevin: we're both working and then to come Kevin: to the realization Kevin: actually no it is my job and i Kevin: don't mean job to pick up i mean my Kevin: job is i'm working hard and doing Kevin: that because coming to that Kevin: realization of understanding Kevin: burnout and not blaming the Kevin: significant other you're with Kevin: thinking that that's an easy escape Guest: right yeah for me that was never Guest: part of it it's um for the most Guest: part i mean i'm human so definitely Guest: far from perfect but i take a lot Guest: of accountability if i see that Guest: i've done something Guest: wrong I'm willing to do that and Guest: yeah Guest: I just I don't know I that wasn't Guest: part of my reality that I saw him Guest: yeah Guest: that's yeah Guest: as contributing to it Kevin: why i had to bring that up because Kevin: people talk talk about their Kevin: spouses, and then they're getting Kevin: in this, and then burnout, because Kevin: it's usually a couple, and then, Kevin: and they're getting into this, Kevin: sure Kevin: because that's where, all of a Kevin: sudden, the splits Kevin: happen, okay, and it's usually Kevin: because of money, the lack of Kevin: money, now you have money, you have Kevin: success, and now you're going into Kevin: it, so let's, let's continue this, Kevin: because I want to get it more Kevin: now, so here you have, you Kevin: recognize the burnout, okay, your Kevin: husband is a contributor to it, Kevin: meaning he's contributing to help Kevin: you through it, not against you, Kevin: sure yeah yeah no tension Kevin: like, all of a sudden, you, there's Kevin: no Guest: yeah Kevin: tension, but then all of a sudden Kevin: recognizing, okay, here's the Kevin: problem, now addressing it. Guest: so for me it started addressing it Guest: after I asked myself that question Guest: are you true to success if you're Guest: not happy the answer to me was no Guest: and then the next question that I Guest: had asked myself was Guest: well what did you do when you used Guest: to thrive what allowed you to Guest: thrive right and for me one of of Guest: those things was again working out Guest: and so I had made a commitment to Guest: myself okay every morning Guest: before work I'm going to start Guest: working out because for and Guest: choosing the time was part of the Guest: strategy when am I most likely to Guest: be the most successful and actually Guest: following through in this right if Guest: it's after I come home from work no Guest: chance I'm exhausted I've got Guest: probably like two hours with with Guest: my boys before they have to go down Guest: for bed and I got to make dinner. Guest: So it's not happening Guest: then, right? They're not going to Guest: be awake early in the morning Guest: beforehand. Therefore, this can be Guest: And so me time. So that was one of Guest: the first things was, oh, this Guest: realization of I thrive when I do Guest: that and I haven't done that for Guest: years. And so I started doing that. Guest: That was one of the biggest things Guest: that helped me move forward. But in Guest: addition to that, one of the videos Guest: that I was actually doing, I just Guest: work out at home in my own Guest: basement. I've never been a gym Guest: person. I like my own space. Guest: And one of the videos that I was Guest: doing, they had talked about Guest: meditation. Guest: And I was like, hmm. Guest: Because I also made a commitment to Guest: myself that day, Kevin, when I Guest: asked myself about success and Guest: happiness, was that I would never, Guest: ever allow myself to go through Guest: this again. Guest: And that has been the strongest Guest: commitment I have ever made to Guest: myself. myself. And so actually it Guest: was fast forward a little bit where Guest: I was listening to this video and Guest: they talked about meditation. And I Guest: was kind of like, Hmm, I don't know Guest: if I believe in Guest: meditation. But again, it was like, Guest: well, Jennifer, can you really Guest: knock something you haven't tried? Guest: And do you really know if you Guest: haven't tried? Of course, the Guest: answer for me to both of those was Guest: no, right? You can't know, you Guest: don't know. And so it was like, Guest: okay, well, I'm going to take this Guest: seriously. And I took a course on, Guest: you know, this particular style of Guest: meditation. And once I started Guest: thing. Guest: meditating, I actually noticed it. Guest: It was probably, I can't remember Guest: if it was three or six weeks after Guest: I started, somewhere in that line. Guest: Again, I was going up these same Guest: stairs that I talked about where Guest: that little devil and angel would Guest: show up for me at the beginning of Guest: this story. Guest: And I remember somebody asking Guest: something of me that prior to me Guest: meditating, I would have just first Guest: reacted, right? It would have been Guest: like a quick snap reaction. Guest: And I remember turning around and Guest: it was almost matrix style, like it Guest: sounds really silly, but it was Guest: almost like the options of how I Guest: could respond quickly showed up on Guest: this display for me. And then I was Guest: able to choose the one that was Guest: actually in alignment with how I Guest: wanted to be living my life. It Guest: felt like the Guest: first time in a really long time, I Guest: was able to choose my response Guest: versus reacting. Guest: And that was was an incredible Guest: realization of wow has Guest: this helped me and so I mean that Guest: was six years ago I still meditate Guest: so Guest: because I've seen how much of an Guest: impact it had in that moment and I Guest: knew how Guest: much more of an impact it could Guest: continue to have on my life so Kevin: was it more like all of a sudden Kevin: like you said you went into the Kevin: matrix it's like slowed down and it Kevin: was like at that particular time in Kevin: that moment in time it's the fork Kevin: in the road you can go this way and Kevin: get this result or you're going to Kevin: go this way Kevin: that's going to get this result so Kevin: it's kind of one of that defining Kevin: moments in time that changed your Kevin: life forever and you got to realize Kevin: it at that moment in time Guest: yeah yeah sorry what was the Guest: question there was or was Guest: no no Guest: it okay same yeah Kevin: no a statement because because what Kevin: i what i'm looking at is and i'm Kevin: thinking of this is for a second Kevin: because all all of a sudden we talk Kevin: about meditation a lot of people Kevin: like meditation don't like Kevin: meditation and stuff do it but it Kevin: became a fork in the road but you Kevin: talked about the meditation part of Kevin: it that Kevin: oh i went and just took this one Kevin: what was this Guest: yeah so actually it started Why? It Kevin: and why Guest: was purely because I didn't do a Guest: ton of research, to be quite Guest: honest. So I was doing this workout Guest: video. She had talked about and Guest: shared a little clip, I think, from Guest: this lady named Guest: Emily Fletcher. Emily Fletcher has Guest: a book called Stress Less, Guest: Accomplish More. Guest: I'm a person who very much likes to Guest: hear the science, the evidence Guest: behind something to convince me as Guest: to why I should actually do it. And Guest: she talked about how Emily actually Guest: has this at the beginning of her Guest: book. book. And I'm like, Guest: fantastic. So I started reading her Guest: book and that's exactly what she Guest: starts with. She talks about all Guest: the scientific data, the evidence, Guest: the studies that have been done Guest: that shows how meditation actually Guest: physically changes your brain and Guest: various components of your brain. Guest: Well, of course, once I read this, Guest: it was like, okay, I'm in. Like, Guest: this sounds great, Guest: right? Science proven that this is Guest: good for me and I should invest my Guest: time in it. Guest: So I did that book, fell in love Guest: with a book. It gives you kind of a Guest: little taste of what it it would be Guest: like to take her course so then I Guest: went on and did her um because I Guest: was impressed with a buck and I Guest: mean that was a small investment Guest: right 20 bucks a couple hours of my Guest: time and then Guest: I did her course online Kevin: were you doing your workouts at the Kevin: same time in the morning and then Kevin: doing the meditation at Kevin: no Kevin: the same time or did one replace Kevin: the Guest: other so Guest: I still did both Kevin: how much how much time of Kevin: meditation did you do Guest: um I used to do uh twice a day 10 Guest: to 15 minutes each time I I don't Guest: do it every day right now Guest: but i try and do um well i do Guest: guided meditations i would say Guest: actually five days a week but i try Guest: and do my own meditations at least Guest: a few times a week Kevin: right so now you got the Kevin: meditations down Guest: it's Kevin: changed the way you're doing you Kevin: had the fork working the road all Kevin: of a sudden you the direction Kevin: you're going to says okay here we Kevin: go why Guest: now Kevin: you're getting ready why get rid of Kevin: the job Guest: correct Guest: of the job and do what i'm doing Guest: now is that what Kevin: so because you're because you're Kevin: okay Kevin: you were in Kevin: management okay and then all of a Kevin: sudden construction and management Kevin: and then you're you're working on Kevin: that the operations so why the Kevin: So I was switching. Kevin: switch now because here you are now Kevin: you now you're Kevin: finding yourself okay you're making Kevin: money and then yes now you're now Kevin: you're back into okay okay, I'm Kevin: focused, all right, it's not Kevin: burnout now. Kevin: Did you blame it on the job? Guest: No. Kevin: Okay. Guest: Because this wasn't the second time Guest: that this has happened to me, Guest: Kevin. Kevin: Well, let's keep her going. Kevin: Because number one, you would have Kevin: noticed it, Guest: right well and when this when it Guest: Okay. Guest: happened the second time when I Guest: asked myself these questions Guest: and I was able to answer them in a Guest: very honest way and I wasn't Guest: pointing fingers it wasn't my Guest: manager it wasn't the industry it Guest: wasn't the job it wasn't my clients Guest: my colleagues because the Guest: reality is I was a high achiever I Guest: was a people pleaser I wanted to Guest: show what I was capable of and I Guest: always wanted to be that top Guest: employee Guest: working for the organization where Guest: it's like, yeah, Jennifer's the Guest: one, right? Guest: That wasn't on anybody else. That Guest: was on me. Kevin: But when did you realize that? Kevin: Because you don't just say, okay, I Kevin: want to be a people pleaser, I'm Kevin: going to be this. You don't just Kevin: say, okay, this is who I am. I'm Kevin: like, you're in tune with yourself Kevin: to say it. But when did you realize Kevin: that? Guest: It was that moment against my Guest: basement floor Guest: asking myself, and there was a lot Guest: of conversations and questions with Guest: myself that was very profound that Guest: day, And actually, I remember after Guest: that, if you're familiar with Guest: downtown Calgary and some of the Guest: buildings there, I used to do a lot Guest: of work in Bow Valley Square. So Guest: it's kind of four towers downtown. Guest: And those were my stomping grounds. Guest: I was in there all the time, did a Guest: lot of work Guest: with a landlord. And I remember, Guest: it's going to sound so cheesy, Guest: Kevin, but I remember the one one Guest: day walking through Bow Valley Guest: Square on my way to a meeting. I'm Guest: supposed to be meeting with Guest: the landlord, Guest: a landlord. I'm supposed to be Guest: meeting with a few engineers, Guest: the engineer, the client, he And it Guest: client. Guest: was like a thousand pound weight Guest: was lifted off of my shoulder. And Guest: I felt like I was like skipping Guest: along clouds as I'm Guest: all in clouds Guest: walking to this meeting. And I've Guest: like, I feel like I've got a smile Guest: on my face. It was the first time, Guest: and I don't know how long, where it Guest: was like, I had given myself Guest: permission to not only Guest: start taking care of myself, but to Guest: start showing up like me. That I Guest: don't need to show up and live Guest: within somebody else's box in terms Guest: of, oh, Jennifer's supposed to Guest: behave this way, or she's Guest: supposed to show up this way, or Guest: talk this way. It was like, I Guest: finally gave myself permission to Guest: actually be me and allow people to Guest: see me, to hear me. And that was Guest: incredibly freeing. Kevin: you weren't really skipping were Guest: don't know we better look back to Guest: you all the way through Guest: the video footage Guest: I might Guest: have made a couple people smile Guest: that day maybe it's like oh she's Guest: got something up her Okay. Kevin: bonnet yeah Kevin: All right. Well, let's keep going Kevin: there. Oh my gosh. So, okay. So Kevin: here you are. Then, then you're Kevin: excited. You got, you got this Kevin: going. You're you're you're the 10 Kevin: ,000 pound weights removed. Then Kevin: what? Guest: Yeah. So Guest: it was it was COVID where um I Guest: started doing the meditations right Guest: so like like many other people, Guest: stress was going up there. But I Guest: remember checking in with myself, Guest: being like, Jennifer, you promised Guest: yourself you would never burn out Guest: again. Guest: What are you going to do Guest: differently to make sure that this Guest: doesn't go in the exact same place? Guest: And so that was actually when I Guest: started meditating. And Guest: okay, so you're bringing back the Guest: In other words, you quit your Guest: question as to, okay, Guest: why did I shift as well, Kevin: right? Well, job. Guest: so I actually started this, okay, Guest: while I was sitting there in a Guest: meditation. Thank you for bringing Guest: Yeah, yeah. Guest: me back. I've got so many thoughts. Guest: It's all Yeah, yeah. I was sitting Kevin: good. Guest: there in a meditation the one day, Guest: and the style of meditation that I Guest: learned talked about manifesting. Guest: At the time, I was like, yeah, Guest: right. Guest: Manifesting, I'm just supposed to Guest: think about what I might want, open Guest: my front door, and it's magically Guest: going to land there? I don't think Guest: so. I've always worked very hard Guest: for my success. I've got to work Guest: for this. But again, okay, Guest: Jennifer, Guest: far. You can't knock something you Guest: haven't tried, and you don't know Guest: if you don't try. Guest: So okay, I'm going to try to Guest: manifest at the end of my Guest: meditation for three weeks. If Guest: after three weeks I don't like it, Guest: I'm going to drop that part. This Guest: is my meditation. I get to decide Guest: how I'm showing up in it. So I'm Guest: going to do Guest: sitting there in my living room. Guest: I'm on my couch. My legs are Guest: crisscrossed. My eyes are closed. Guest: And I remember opening my eyes, Guest: shocking myself, because this Guest: This is what I do. Guest: idea had just landed. So this was Guest: while I was still a project manager Guest: for the general contractor. Guest: contractor. I had not started my Guest: business yet. And the idea landed. Guest: Jennifer, what if you helped to Guest: educate other people and teach them Guest: these same signs you didn't see? Guest: What if you helped other people Guest: achieve their most fulfilling Guest: version of success without the Guest: burnout? And it was the first time Guest: in my life where a business idea Guest: felt so incredibly amazing in my Guest: heart. Guest: When I was younger, I told myself I Guest: always wanted to be an entrepreneur Guest: because I saw my mom do that Guest: growing up but I also said it would Guest: only ever be for something I was Guest: incredibly passionate about I had Guest: given up on Guest: that idea probably five or ten Guest: years before this day had happened Guest: because there was nothing I was Guest: incredibly passionate about that I Guest: thought I could actually make money Guest: from as a business Guest: It was business. Guest: and so when this idea landed it was Guest: holy crap what was that but it was Guest: okay I need to look into this right Guest: the idea of coaching had landed Guest: that day and so anyway I took a Guest: three -day course let's just Guest: see I don't want to invest a whole Guest: bunch of time and money if you know Guest: I don't know I need to learn more Guest: about this so I did that that felt Guest: really good so okay then I signed Guest: up for a full intensive did that Guest: program while I was working full Guest: -time opened a corporation while I Guest: was doing that Guest: and let's see if I can get some Guest: clients again we're in COVID right Guest: so my clients are actually at the Guest: time, was all through Facebook. I Guest: got all of my clients through Guest: Facebook, and they were all either Guest: in the United States or the United Guest: Kingdom. Guest: Super interesting. But after a Guest: while, Guest: it's, so first I needed to prove to Guest: myself that I could make a living Guest: off of this. This isn't a passion Guest: project, right? Again, I had two Guest: young boys that were relying on me. Guest: This wasn't something that I Guest: I could just, let's just see if Guest: this works out or not. Guest: I was the breadwinner at the time. Guest: And so it was like, okay, I told Guest: well, I'm going to see if I could Guest: myself, Guest: actually make this into something Guest: that I could live off of. Guest: And it was a year and a half that I Guest: did it part -time. And then it was Guest: like, okay, now you've got a Guest: decision to make Guest: And Guest: because you can't keep doing this Guest: forever, right? You decided you're Guest: going to show up very intentionally Guest: in how you live both your Guest: professional life and your personal Guest: life. Guest: and um honestly Guest: it was Guest: it was like I went back and forth Guest: for so long because there was other Guest: things that were happening on the Guest: table I can't quite speak of but Guest: that were opportunities where it Guest: was like a platinum version of Guest: success being handed to me where I Guest: would never have to worry for the Guest: rest of Guest: my career and then it was like oh Guest: but this thing over here felt Guest: really good let's just go see if Guest: Let's just go see if we can fix the Guest: we could make a living doing that Guest: living doing that. Guest: and uh so my head and my heart had Guest: a tug of war for about six six Guest: months and then I woke up the one Guest: morning Kevin and it was completely Guest: obvious to me that Guest: I would never or I would forever Guest: regret not at least exploring what Guest: I do now but I would never regret Guest: the other opportunity and there it Guest: was I was like okay that's my Guest: decision that's my decision Guest: and so after a year and a half of Guest: part -time then I got into this and Guest: thought to myself, Guest: I've been in business now for Guest: for five years, so I guess it's Guest: working. Kevin: Well, it's interesting. You say you Kevin: guess it's working. Guest: Okay. Kevin: It's obviously working. But the Guest: Yeah. Kevin: question, so now, okay, when you Kevin: look at this, all of a sudden Kevin: you're making that assumption that Kevin: you're ready to make the change. Kevin: Okay. Kevin: Okay. You said, all right, I'm Kevin: going to take the next three days Kevin: or the next three courses. Kevin: And then you'd mentioned that all Kevin: of a sudden you did it and it Kevin: worked out. Okay. Oh, that felt Kevin: good. What was that? That felt Kevin: good. Because all of a sudden Kevin: you're saying, okay, can I be a Kevin: speaker? Okay. Can I talk about, Kevin: because here you are, okay. You Guest: and Kevin: want to talk about burnout because Kevin: you Kevin: lived it, you'd become that and how Kevin: you're going to, but you said you Kevin: had to try to do it first. and it Kevin: was the first thing that you did, Kevin: you did a three -day course, okay? Kevin: Before that three -day Kevin: course, why the course? Because Kevin: before you did the course, you had Kevin: to see if you liked it. What was Kevin: the thing that you did to make you Kevin: take the course? Because you had to Kevin: do something there. Kevin: And the something was there, was it Kevin: to talk to people and say, can I Kevin: talk in front of people? Can I do a Kevin: presentation? Because you don't Kevin: just become a speaker, okay? You Kevin: don't just become come this Kevin: everything works with intention so Kevin: how you plan it of course we plan Kevin: it we plan what we're going to do Kevin: because we have a a game plan to Kevin: get there but that first initial Kevin: step that first part to say okay Kevin: that wasn't so bad what was that Kevin: right you Guest: know it's actually funny because so Guest: initially I wasn't planning on Guest: becoming a speaker Guest: the planet i was just so Guest: I was just planning on becoming a Guest: coach so that was the beginning of Guest: my journey and then And I Kevin: why a coach Guest: that that was part of the idea that Guest: had landed for me, right? It was Guest: like, what if I could help coach Guest: other people to achieve their most Guest: meaningful version of success, a Guest: version of where they don't have to Guest: give up themselves, their well Guest: -being Guest: in order to achieve their version. Guest: so Guest: So that was what had landed for me Guest: at first. Guest: And it was actually fast forward a Guest: couple of years into my business. Guest: So you talk about like we plan Guest: everything. It's part of the plan. Guest: I never planned on speaking, Kevin. Guest: that was actually one of my Guest: greatest fears was public speaking. Guest: I was at an event and, you know, we Guest: all had an opportunity to share Guest: what we're doing and, you know, who Guest: we serve. And I did that. Guest: And towards the end of it, this Guest: lady comes up to me and she was Guest: like, Jennifer, I loved what you Guest: had to say. You know what? I've got Guest: an event coming up and I can't Guest: remember how far out it was. Would Guest: you consider come speaking at it? Guest: And I kind of laughed inside Guest: because I was thinking me speak Guest: like you gotta be kidding me right Guest: like this is one of my greatest Guest: fears Guest: but I'm also one of those people to Guest: be like you know what let's just Guest: push ourselves let's just grow what Guest: our comfort zone and see what we're Guest: capable of right and so with a Guest: smile on my face Guest: yeah of course I will and then Guest: behind the scenes was holy crap I Guest: gotta figure this out and Guest: And I remember standing on stage Guest: that evening and presenting and Guest: sharing some of my own story on Guest: burnout and some of the identifying Guest: markers and perhaps what we could Guest: do to maybe prevent it or break Guest: free from that cycle moving Guest: forward. But the feeling when I Guest: finished that evening was something Guest: different than what I had Guest: experienced before. Guest: and I had this realization of while Guest: I absolutely love being one -on Guest: -one on people's journeys because Guest: of the profound experiences and Guest: changes that they experience in Guest: their life I get a lot of Guest: fulfillment from that too being Guest: able to educate a larger group of Guest: people and help them become aware Guest: of something that they maybe didn't Guest: know they needed to become aware of Guest: is also incredibly Guest: incredibly fulfilling. So that was Guest: actually the night that it all Guest: began. It was because I was invited Guest: to speak on a stage that I never Guest: would have thought I wanted to Guest: speak on. Guest: And then it became a little Guest: addictive after that. It was like, Guest: okay, let's do this, right? So I Guest: was seeking out opportunities and Guest: calling conferences. Okay, I see Guest: that you're doing this. This is Guest: what I speak on. Guest: you need me right just showing up Guest: with that like utter confidence and Guest: passion um you know and one thing Guest: leads to a next and someone here Guest: hears me speak at this stage and Guest: it's holy crap Jennifer Guest: that was incredible like what would Guest: it look like to bring you over here Guest: and um that brings me so much joy Guest: and the conversations afterwards Guest: right like I uh this I wouldn't do Guest: before right when Guest: I told you I didn't tell anybody Guest: what I was going through in that Guest: moment I didn't know how to be Guest: vulnerable and that has been a lot Guest: of my journey is sharing my Guest: vulnerability to show others that Guest: it's okay and that yes successful Guest: people in quotations they go Guest: through it all in fact they're Guest: probably going through it even more Guest: because we hold such high standards Guest: to ourselves Guest: and the conversations that often Guest: ensue after I give a presentation Guest: it's it's just incredibly Guest: going Guest: incredibly rewarding and fulfilling Guest: for those people that are asking me Guest: the questions or sharing their Guest: stories, as it is for me to be a Guest: part of that. Kevin: to get into that, too, because I Kevin: really want to get into the Kevin: storytelling where that comes in Kevin: because we get to talk more about Kevin: the burnout out and and what's Kevin: affecting what do you recognize in Kevin: people when you're coaching them Kevin: individually Kevin: and then as a speaker now i want to Kevin: go back there was a question there Kevin: was a thing that you had mentioned Kevin: there about serving Guest: you Kevin: you made a comment as when you Kevin: first started and you're going to Kevin: the first one you had to serve okay Kevin: what did that mean by serve who Kevin: were you serving Guest: You know what, when it when I first Guest: started, and I was first doing my Guest: coaching training, Guest: I was working with people that I Guest: knew. So I asked people that I Guest: knew, if any of them would want to Guest: experience coaching, because before Guest: I was going to go charge other Guest: people money to do this, I needed Guest: to have some experience under my Guest: belt, I need to make sure that I Guest: could actually do this. And people Guest: People are actually going to get Guest: results from working from me. It's Guest: not just a nice to. Guest: So it really started there. I just Guest: started with my community and let Guest: people know what I was doing. And, Guest: you know, I wouldn't charge Guest: anything. This is pro bono. Let's, Guest: who wants to give it a shot? Guest: And I had a few friends. I had Guest: somebody who I played soccer with Guest: years and years ago reach out to Guest: me. Guest: And that's where it really began. Kevin: and so that's why i wanted to Kevin: really dig deep or not dig deep on Kevin: it but just to talk because you Kevin: said serving Guest: so Kevin: serving helping the people they Kevin: helped you but was it serving more Kevin: in a higher power being like i'm Kevin: not saying religion and stuff like Kevin: that because we get people that Kevin: talk about i'm here to serve Guest: serve the Kevin: people here to listen to the Kevin: audience but what does that mean to Kevin: you Guest: and Kevin: and people have different Kevin: definitions of serving so like you Kevin: just used you had people help you Kevin: but you used the word serve and i Kevin: kind of wanted Kevin: to dig down what does that mean to Kevin: you Guest: which is also hilarious because i Guest: oh Guest: don't even remember saying it Kevin: okay yeah okay yeah Guest: because But for me, serve can show Guest: up in a few different ways, right? Guest: So if I look back to my own story Guest: or my own experience, I Guest: didn't have somebody in my life to Guest: recognize what I was going through Guest: and perhaps to be able to serve me, Guest: right, in terms of help me, allow Guest: me to see Guest: my blind spots so that I didn't Guest: have to go through the pain. And Guest: maybe that's what my definition of Guest: serve then is, is helping others to Guest: see their blind spots before it Guest: causes them deep and significant Guest: pain. Guest: And being able to do that on a Guest: coaching level, at a speaking Guest: level, I would say that they're Guest: both serving. Guest: There's a lot of people in the Guest: audiences that I speak to where Guest: they keep doing that. They push Guest: through like I was pushing through. Guest: um but it's that moment where they Guest: hear a very real share or where Guest: they hear maybe um some common Guest: symptoms of burnout where it's the Guest: holy crap Kevin: it's Guest: the hard truth that i believe can Guest: no Guest: truly be serving Guest: somebody no Kevin: that's great because now let's go Kevin: into the burnout because here you Kevin: did you've been on Kevin: i had Kevin: facebook you hit the facebook and Kevin: you got them out of the state's Kevin: majority probably not too many out Kevin: of calgary Guest: how did Guest: zero canadians for the first like Guest: year or year and a half of Kevin: you plug that like like here you're Kevin: my business Kevin: in covid Kevin: and then and then you're Kevin: I didn't pay Kevin: there and you're going to start Kevin: this off in a part -time basis and Kevin: then okay what was your first ad Kevin: like did you pay ads on that Guest: ads it was me outreaching in groups Guest: on Facebook creating real Guest: conversations Guest: so it would like start on a like Guest: someone's thread and we would just Guest: I would be very real and how I Guest: responded to them and it oftentimes Guest: started to get personal so I said Guest: hey like I'm available in the DMs Guest: next one, Guest: if you want to chat in the DMs like Guest: I'm here for you and most of the Guest: time I was like Guest: like yeah because we had already Guest: it's a really Guest: built up this very vulnerable Guest: rapport um and you know from there Guest: if it felt like this person could Guest: really use some assistance and Guest: they're kind of asking then i would Guest: offer hey like this is what i do Guest: would it be supportive to you to Guest: jump on a call and that was a Guest: simplified version of the journey Kevin: So when you're looking at this, Kevin: right, and then so you're talking Kevin: to these people on private chats, Kevin: not private chats, but in rooms, Kevin: and then you're having that Kevin: conversation, what seemed to be the Kevin: underlining thread? Kevin: So there's somebody, so you're Kevin: talking about burnout, you're Kevin: talking to somebody, but they all Kevin: seem to have a common thread about Kevin: burnout. Kevin: You know, I'm working, you brought Kevin: up, I'm successful, okay, I'm Kevin: successful, I'm working hard, it's Kevin: I would Kevin: about money, it's about this, but Kevin: that's not success to me, I'm Kevin: say Kevin: feeling down. Kevin: what was the common that other Kevin: people that from your experience Kevin: talking to people Kevin: have that same question what's one Kevin: of the ones questions that they Kevin: seem to all have the same problem Kevin: with as a burnout um and it's not i Kevin: work too hard is there a common Kevin: thread there Guest: it's really the fear. year, well, Guest: first of all, it's oftentimes turns Guest: into resentment. Guest: So this I'm sick and tired of Guest: always having to give up my own Guest: needs or seeing somebody else being Guest: able to like take their lunch break Guest: or like have the evening off or, Guest: you know, go on the holiday or feel Guest: relaxed or bubbly or whatever it Guest: might be. There's often resentment Guest: that shows up. Guest: So that was part of it. But it's Guest: also that fear, that fear of, oh, Guest: gosh, if I just pause and I start Guest: to take time to take care of me, Guest: does that mean that I'm going to, Guest: you know, not be as successful Guest: anymore? Guest: And that is it's crippling. It Guest: prevents so many people from truly Guest: being able to do things for Guest: themselves and take care of their Guest: mental, their physical health Guest: because there's this thought of, Guest: but I've always shown up Guest: this way. and that's what got me Guest: success. Therefore, if I don't do Guest: it, it's somehow going to drop Guest: away. Kevin: So, on that same thread, okay, Kevin: because I'm going to pull it Kevin: through there, then all of a Kevin: them. Guest: Yeah. Kevin: sudden, Kevin: back and i go back then it's Kevin: to the 1 Kevin: because we're like a thousand fifty Kevin: ,000, Kevin: days in ai or whatever that is it Kevin: was not very long ago so when you Kevin: look at it that common thread now Kevin: all of a sudden we're burnout we Kevin: talked about during the intros Kevin: about the ai okay where people are Kevin: in ai okay and it's so fast in Kevin: our workplace now that people are Kevin: working harder and not believing Kevin: that they can go further because Kevin: Because if they're not on their Kevin: game, AI is going to take them Kevin: over. Right. Kevin: So how has that changed in the last Kevin: six months of conversations you've Kevin: had with people on the AI side Kevin: versus when you first started and Kevin: you just mentioned about Kevin: their vulnerability, where they're Kevin: at, and then are they good enough? Kevin: This is how good I was before, Guest: okay, Kevin: back in the day. This is how good, Kevin: accept me for what I am now. I'm Kevin: working hard. Now here we are. Kevin: Totally different story because Kevin: they compete in AI. Kevin: You Guest: know, I might not provide you the Guest: answer that you might think that Guest: you're getting here, because I Guest: would say it hasn't been a huge Guest: topic of conversation from a Guest: concern standpoint that has come up Guest: over these last six months or so. Guest: So if anything, I would say that Guest: I've almost supported people to Guest: become more effective by using AI, Guest: because although it's prevalent in Guest: a lot of ways, there's still a lot Guest: of people Guest: that don't understand it to its Guest: full capacity. I don't understand Guest: it to its full capacity. I am not Guest: an expert in it by any means. Guest: However, I perhaps have some more Guest: experience or knowledge in it than Guest: some people might. Guest: And so I've actually helped to walk Guest: some people through that so that Guest: they could become more effective to Guest: free up more time and perhaps feel Guest: No, Guest: better about themselves so Guest: maybe a little bit opposite of what Guest: your actual question was Kevin: but it's actually not because it's Kevin: actually what it's doing. it's Kevin: opening up that Pandora box because Kevin: we may think that oh no you're Kevin: gonna lose jobs because of this Kevin: okay here's AI your workforce and Kevin: we're gonna lose jobs so they think Kevin: if they left behind because I asked Kevin: that question Guest: but Kevin: here we are we're asking the Kevin: question you're going well wait a Kevin: second let's ask ourselves a better Kevin: question and how do we use it to Kevin: free up time and from your Kevin: experience what have you told Kevin: people how to use it to free up Kevin: their time Kevin: from an and experience sharing. Guest: okay so here's an example um one Guest: thing that i am quite passionate Guest: about is quarterly planning not Guest: only quarterly planning for our Guest: businesses but also for our Guest: personal lives and that's the Guest: part that i would say often doesn't Guest: get isn't paid attention to is Guest: planning for personal lives on a Guest: quarterly basis especially and i Guest: use ai to help me after i've Guest: created my own goals Guest: to then break that out and, okay, Guest: well, what does that then mean I Guest: need to do on a monthly basis? What Guest: does that mean I need to do on a Guest: weekly basis? How do I actually Guest: measure and track my Guest: own progress to make sure that I'm Guest: on target? And so I share this same Guest: experience and opportunity with Guest: people that I have conversations Guest: with, with my clients. Guest: For example, another way that I've Guest: used it, that I've also supported Guest: and I don't want to put it where my Guest: some of my people in my world with, Guest: role is, Guest: is from a speaking Guest: speaker's point of Guest: speaking standpoint, right? It's Guest: like, okay, constantly going out Guest: there looking for the speaking Guest: opportunities, applying for Guest: different ones. Like, wait a Guest: second, how can I make this Guest: easier? Okay, chat, how about you Guest: just send me a list every Monday of Guest: the top five speaking opportunities Guest: that meet these three criteria, Guest: right? Now, all of a sudden, it's Guest: in my inbox. Guest: And so it's not always speaking Guest: opportunities, but sometimes it's Guest: it's other things, or reminding my Guest: other things like that, Guest: or remind me my why behind why I Guest: wife Guest: want to actually meditate every day Guest: or work out every day. Guest: And that will then be sent to my Guest: clients' inboxes every week. And Guest: it's not why I say they should. Guest: It's why they say they should. And Guest: when they get this reminder every Guest: week, it's the, oh, yeah, there's Guest: my why. Guest: And it just makes it a little bit Guest: easier to continue to follow Guest: through on the things that we say Guest: we're going to do but sometimes Guest: feels like we don't have the time Guest: to do. so whether it be researching Guest: for things or like having the Guest: reminders being sent to us or Guest: helping Guest: us plan out our actual life um yeah Guest: those are i would say are a couple Guest: of the examples Guest: Well, Kevin: let's get more into that because Kevin: you just mentioned about it's easy Kevin: as an entrepreneur or a business Kevin: owner or you're in business to Kevin: client but Kevin: plan, Guest: okay? Kevin: That's what we all do. We plan. Kevin: But all of a sudden, it becomes Kevin: personal in your personal life and Kevin: looking after yourself wholly, like Kevin: the meditation, the working out. Kevin: And you just mentioned about Kevin: planning. So we're talking about Kevin: planning, and then you put that and Kevin: said, okay, how do people plan? Kevin: How do you plan? Kevin: So let's take a day that, and I'm Kevin: not talking AI, because we just Kevin: I know. Kevin: added AI that can help you Kevin: with this. but you're a lot of Kevin: people don't plan their their their Kevin: actual physical health of their day Guest: and Kevin: i'm not talking about meal planning Kevin: i'm just talking about the Kevin: quarterly talk more about that Kevin: quarterly goal on a personal level Guest: versus Kevin: people talk quarterly on their Kevin: business but we don't go into a Kevin: personal quarterly I know. Guest: And isn't that so interesting? It's Guest: like, why is it that we plan for Guest: our business? Is our life not just Guest: ask, Guest: as, if not more important than our Guest: business? Guest: And yet we don't plan for it. We Guest: like whatever time we have left Guest: over is what goes into it. Guest: It's an interesting concept. Guest: So it's something that I had Guest: started doing for myself. And Guest: actually one of my best friends, Guest: she's also a business owner. It's Guest: something that her and I now do Guest: together. So I brought my process Guest: to both her and I. Guest: Every quarter, her and I go away Guest: for three days in the mountains, Guest: somewhere new every single time. Guest: And we spread out the life and work Guest: quarterly planning over Guest: those three days, also immersed Guest: it's more Guest: with hiking. So her and I both love Guest: to hike. Guest: We love spending time in nature. Guest: That's where some of our best Guest: business ideas come through, some Guest: of our best, most meaningful Guest: conversations about our personal Guest: lives, whether it be about Guest: relationships, Guest: kids, things like that. And so we Guest: do that every three days. And it Guest: starts with reflecting on, okay how Guest: have the last 90 days felt not Guest: what did you do how have they felt Guest: right what felt incredibly Guest: fulfilling what felt incredibly Guest: less than fulfilling and I've got a Guest: number of metrics Guest: well we're actually rate ourselves Guest: on one so relationships physical Guest: health mental health a few other Guest: things so it's in Kevin: No, what's the, what's the few Kevin: each of those what's Kevin: other Guest: things? Guest: the few other Guest: Yeah. Guest: things okay physical health mental Guest: health. It was like because I was Guest: blanking there. You caught me on Guest: Yeah. Guest: it. Guest: For me, one is adventure. Adventure Guest: What's play? Guest: is an important part of me of Guest: living a fulfilling life. Guest: Adventure, play. Play is another Guest: one. Play, it depends on you as an Guest: individual. But for me, that can Guest: mean just being Guest: silly with my kids. It can mean Guest: going for a hike that can feel Guest: playful for me. And so Kevin: for Guest: for each of these categories, I'll Guest: actually write what went well and Guest: what felt less than satisfying. And Guest: then I'll rate each one from one to Guest: 10 over the last 90 days, how has Guest: it felt? Guest: And, you know, it's really Guest: interesting because when I first Guest: started, sometimes I may have Guest: thought that something was just Guest: those 90 days. Play was one of Guest: them, actually. It was like play Guest: was actually my Guest: lowest score. And I was like, oh, Guest: yeah, okay, it was just that. And Guest: then the next quarter, I went Guest: through this same process. Oh, Guest: guess what? Guest: Play was my lowest score again. Guest: This wasn't just the last 90 days. Guest: This was a trend in terms of how I Guest: was showing up in my life. Guest: feeling Guest: And while play may may seem Guest: insignificant play brings us joy Guest: and so what I was craving was more Guest: joy therefore I needed Guest: to play more but it was my lowest Guest: score this was a habit this was how Guest: I was showing up and so that Guest: provided me a lot of insight in Guest: terms of doing this on a quarterly Guest: basis instead of just once Guest: a year or one off because I don't Guest: think I would see the trend as Guest: clearly or as quickly as doing it Guest: on a quarterly basis so we start Guest: off with the reflection piece and Guest: then it's okay what do you Guest: want to feel what do you want to Guest: experience and what do you want to Guest: accomplish in the next 90 days Guest: personally and then creating you Guest: know depending on um what's going Guest: on but about three goals Guest: and then each goal should have very Guest: specific action items right so um Guest: you know so for one of of the Guest: goals. It was like, okay, I want to Guest: go do, um, an overnight Alpine hut, Guest: like hike up to it Guest: and stay there. Okay. So what's got Guest: to happen? Hey, I need to get a Guest: group of four. These are the people Guest: I need to reach out to buy this Guest: date. Okay. I need to, I need to Guest: get rental gear. I need to do that. Guest: So it's, it's not leaving the Guest: weekend and being like, okay, well, Guest: I know what Guest: my goals are, but what the heck do Guest: I need to do? I've put them into my Guest: calendar. Guest: Now I have very specific dates Guest: actually blocked out into my Guest: calendar. So I've got no excuse Guest: that I forgot about it or whatever Guest: it might be. And honestly, it's Guest: been life -changing. It's been life Guest: -changing Guest: doing these quarterly planning Guest: sessions personally and also for my Guest: business as well. Kevin: so now i'm going to get back into Kevin: because now we fast forward we talk Kevin: about this the life side that the Kevin: quarter Guest: now Kevin: you had brought in also too because Kevin: you when you were doing your Kevin: meditation okay which is going to Kevin: tie this all back is that you Kevin: started doing the visualization Kevin: okay now doing Kevin: your goals okay and manifesting Kevin: because you use that word was this Kevin: part of that as well because you've Kevin: done you've done your yoga you're Kevin: doing your yoga now you had to try Kevin: and you were talking Kevin: about i have to try to manifest Kevin: manifest visualization where i'm Kevin: going and then now you just didn't Kevin: just visualize it you put it to Kevin: paper Guest: and Kevin: now it becomes the goal do you see Kevin: the con the the two values together Kevin: oh Kevin: and putting that Kevin: did they did they come together Guest: for Guest: yeah i would say it's i mean that's Guest: how i show up in life now right so Guest: you talk about visualization and Guest: but you did yeah Guest: actually Kevin: visualization but you didn't do did Kevin: you do your quarterly planning Kevin: before the visualization or Guest: no after the visual uh the Guest: that? Guest: quarterly planning has been the Guest: last year actually yeah so it's Guest: been the last year consistently Guest: And Guest: that i've been doing my own um Guest: personal planning um Kevin: what do you Kevin: how big a change is that? Guest: mean Kevin: Like, so your personal planning Kevin: from before. So you talk about Kevin: burnout. You did burnout. You had Kevin: all this. You went through this. Kevin: Your life has changed to now. And Kevin: then all of a sudden in the last Kevin: year, okay, yes, you're a speaker. Kevin: You're doing that. Now the personal Kevin: planning. Kevin: Which part of everything that Kevin: you've done has been the biggest Kevin: game changer for you? Kevin: Is it the personal planning? Guest: oh Guest: because Kevin: the way you're sounding Guest: i know okay i don't i don't know if Guest: i can really fairly answer that Guest: question yeah yeah i'll say why Kevin: but keep going Guest: honestly when i think about that Guest: it's really the three that Guest: comes back to it it's the working Guest: out it's the um meditation it's the Guest: quarterly planning um is Guest: one better than the other i don't Guest: or they do they definitely build Guest: know Guest: off of each other and And I would Guest: say together, they make life that Guest: much better, right? Guest: That's the best answer. Together, Guest: they make life that much better. Kevin: so significant others listeners out Guest: the students Kevin: there listening to do your Kevin: quarterly planning do you recommend Kevin: doing it with with your spouse your Kevin: partner or with someone that's not Kevin: your spouse or partner but a friend Guest: Yeah, you know what? That's a Guest: really interesting question that Guest: I'm still exploring. I do it with Guest: my friend. I love doing it with my Guest: friend because she's also a very Guest: cognizant, mindful individual. Guest: She happens to be a psychologist, Guest: so that probably helps. but we Guest: really are comfortable in Guest: challenging each other being able Guest: to ask the questions and it's Guest: just like okay but why why is that Guest: a goal or what about this or you Guest: know and so we get way more out of Guest: it together in a certain sense than Guest: way Guest: I think I would if I was with my Guest: partner doing it in saying Guest: that him and I have had that Guest: conversation where it's like okay Guest: what about we start doing this as Guest: as well. And maybe it's not Guest: quarterly because I'm not sure he Guest: would love the quarterly part, Guest: but maybe it's twice a month or Guest: twice a year. Guest: And still being able to be on the Guest: same page in terms of, okay, Guest: because my husband's priorities are Guest: very different than my priorities, Guest: right? I'm like, I want to travel. Guest: I want to have experiences. To me, Guest: that is what life is full of. And Guest: he's like, Guest: yeah, but we got to have this money Guest: for the car. We got to get this Guest: money for this upgrade and we got Guest: to do these and these are his Guest: priorities. And so it's like, okay, Guest: mine aren't right and and yours Guest: aren't right. Maybe they're both Guest: right, and we get to figure out, Guest: okay, how do we do some of yours Guest: and do some of mine? Guest: Now let's sit down together and Guest: figure out how we can make that Guest: work so that neither one of us Guest: feels like we're completely having Guest: to give up our own desires. Kevin: and you're allowed and not allowed Kevin: a bad word to say so you actually Kevin: do trips on your own then Guest: Yeah, yeah, so me, yeah, well, are Guest: you talking about with the Guest: quarterly planning? Kevin: no no no just just all of a sudden Kevin: you want to go you want to do this Kevin: hike you're going to go Kevin: going to do a hike, you're going to Kevin: the hike you get your four people Kevin: pull people together, Kevin: together here's you already doing Kevin: well guess what your husband Kevin: doesn't want to go so he's okay and Kevin: everybody's like okay great here Kevin: you go and you're living your life Kevin: with the best life that you Kevin: possibly can have and it's okay as Kevin: being with couples or Kevin: having a couple or a marriage that Kevin: hey it's okay we don't have to Kevin: align we can be you can do this I Guest: totally Kevin: can do this we're still people Guest: have our own interests so long as Guest: we still come back together and Guest: have intentional time together he Guest: doesn't have to be interested in Guest: hiking in the same way i'm not Guest: interested in playing video games Guest: right so you go have fun play your Guest: video games and i'm also going to Guest: go have fun and I'm gonna go hike Kevin: let's Guest: out Kevin: of all your speaking tours which Kevin: has been the funnest place you've Kevin: ever had to talk oh Guest: say it's less about the place and Guest: more about the group Kevin: perfect okay Guest: yeah so I love when I can go into a Guest: room and a make sure that I have Guest: the space to be able to have a Guest: table Guest: after even if it's only for an hour Guest: after I speak because to me that is Guest: the most meaningful that is when Guest: people come up to me up to me after Guest: oh my gosh Jennifer can I share Guest: this story with you or Guest: what you said about this or what do Guest: you think about that the rooms Guest: where they're more vulnerable Guest: there are more it doesn't Guest: those are my favorite those are my Guest: absolute favorite because that's Guest: where real change happens it Guest: doesn't happen when we're Guest: pretending that life is grand and Guest: everything's okay been Guest: there done that that's why I broke Guest: down so it's about the room and the Guest: willingness to be open and honest Guest: you Kevin: get a room to open up. Guest: be open and open yourself you know Guest: again I do I go into my story and I Guest: talk about how you know I was Guest: pulling out my hair and I was Guest: banging on that steering wheel and Guest: I was crying Guest: and I was sobbing and everything in Guest: between and I'm not sometimes when Guest: I'm speaking I'll actually have Guest: those tears come to my face or I'll Guest: have that frustration and anger and Guest: it Guest: allows other people people to feel. Guest: And when they see that I'm being Guest: vulnerable, it inadvertently gives Guest: them permission to be vulnerable Guest: back. And, you know, it's Guest: interesting because so often, so Guest: often, Kevin, Guest: I hear, Jennifer, I don't know why Guest: I'm telling you this. Guest: I haven't told anybody this. I know Guest: why. Kevin: Because I created that safe space. Kevin: That's amazing. Kevin: Is there anything that you'd like Kevin: to say to the listeners out there Kevin: or anybody that's out there that we Kevin: haven't discussed or one item of Kevin: curiosity? Kevin: Yeah. Guest: You know, I think it would be Guest: valuable to talk about that um fear Guest: that people have that if they slow Guest: down that it's going to jeopardize Guest: their success Guest: their career whatever it is that Guest: they're going for maybe that next Guest: promotion um i see it all the time Guest: and one of my clients just said it Guest: so perfectly when her and i first Guest: started working together Guest: um she was one of the top sales rep Guest: in her industry across north Guest: america so she had always always Guest: fallen within the top three, but Guest: she was like, I'm so sick and Guest: tired. Guest: Like, I don't know, should I just Guest: quit? And I was like, well, let's Guest: talk this through, right? Like, Guest: what does that mean? Would you Guest: actually be happy with that? Is Guest: that the answer? But after some Guest: time of working together, she said Guest: to me, she's like, oh, I Guest: actually had a 37 % increase in Guest: sales in 2025, Guest: which is the highest I've ever Guest: made. I've now been bumped up to Guest: number one in my industry across Guest: the the country. She's like, Guest: Jennifer, I worked the least amount Guest: of hours I've ever worked. Guest: I finally can go to bed without Guest: anxiety, without my head spinning, Guest: and I actually get quality of Guest: sleep. She's like, I never would Guest: have thought a year ago when we Guest: started working together Guest: that that was possible. And so what Guest: I would love for listeners to hear Guest: is it's like, you don't need to Guest: give up your success in order to Guest: also take care of you, in order Guest: for it also to feel good in fact Guest: when you start doing those things Guest: that's when you show up with a more Guest: clear mind you're more creative Guest: you're more productive you're more Guest: effective you're Guest: better collaborator all the things Guest: and so I just want the listeners to Guest: And so I just feel like I'm just Guest: really truly know that and Guest: moving over that and just Guest: if it's hard to believe right now Guest: participating in Guest: that's okay but just consider it Guest: and just get curious about hmm, how Guest: might that actually help me? Kevin: So would you say that's more get Kevin: yourself plugged in? Kevin: Elaborate a little bit on plugged Kevin: in. Guest: To me, that really means being Guest: honest with yourself, giving Guest: yourself the permission to just Guest: pause for a moment. And like myself Guest: that day, ask yourself the hard Guest: questions that it might be scary to Guest: hear the answer. But I tell you, Guest: that is the most meaningful Guest: rewarding journey that you will go Guest: on and so being plugged in really Guest: means being in tune with what you Guest: truly need you truly need to thrive Guest: not just get by in this world Guest: how do we find you jenniferkeble Guest: .com so k -e -a -b -l -e Guest: jenniferkeble .com um find me there Guest: find some speaking videos of me Guest: there you'll be able to reach out Guest: to me i get back to everybody who Guest: reaches out to me regardless if Guest: it's a question or a thank you or Guest: can we just have you know 30 Guest: minutes together whatever it might Guest: be Guest: So Kevin: can I get you on Facebook and do Kevin: the one -on -one coaching and get Kevin: know Kevin: into my group Kevin: group sessions in there? Like when Kevin: you're back in the day, we're to Kevin: COVID. Guest: what I am like never on Facebook Guest: anymore um I'm on LinkedIn so Guest: yeah awesome Guest: people can find me on LinkedIn just Guest: Jennifer Keeble again um LinkedIn Guest: or my website I would say is the Guest: best place to find me Kevin: you know what thank you jennifer Kevin: for being on shed talk and you guys Kevin: like share subscribe give her a Kevin: call reach out if you have any Kevin: questions or anything Kevin: about this episode that hmm maybe i Kevin: didn't ask or maybe you want to Kevin: know more about just reach out to Kevin: jennifer and figure it out anyway Kevin: jennifer thank you very much for Kevin: being on shed talk thank you