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5-MINUTE FRIDAY: A Nice Inconvenience · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Hello, Emily, A baddie here, coming to you from the
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: AG studio. You are listening to five minute Friday from Hurdle.
• 0:26
  Speaker 2: It's a beautiful day.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: At least it is on Thursday as I'm recording this
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: here in New York. I am, my spirits are high,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the temperatures are high.
• 0:35
  Speaker 2: I think it's like seventy degrees out there today.
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: I'm in a good mood, and I'm in a good
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: mood despite the fact that the elevator in my building
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: has basically been out on and off for I mean
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: this week, for sure, one elevator is completely out of service.
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: There's two for the building, and it is and how
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: has been so interesting to see how people react to
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: this fact. So I go into this story also wanting
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: to state that in the episode that I posted from Wednesday,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: where I chatted with my friend Nick Dio about staving
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: off burnout and managing burnout and the concept of quote
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: unquote breaking the metrix, he said that something that he
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: loves to do when he's feeling a little bit stuck
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: is to do something nice for somebody else.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: And so, like I said, beautiful day.
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: Gotta notice that I had a package downstairs which typically.
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: Wouldn't be would be something very exciting. Right.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: We love mail, but we don't love mail when you
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: have to walk down a bunch of flights of stairs,
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: many flights of stairs to get it, and then walk
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: back up all of the flights of stairs, it becomes
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  Speaker 1: something instead of taking, you know, a couple of minutes
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: down and up, it's more of an activity. I decided
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: that I was going to go down, and so I
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: went down. I was gonna grab my package. And I
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: thought to myself, it is too nice just to go
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: down and go right back up.
• 2:07
  Speaker 2: So I walked over to my doorman and I said
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: to him, I said, I'm gonna go for a walk.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: Do you want anything? He's like, no, no, I'm good.
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like, if I happen to go into a bodega,
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: would you want something from the bodega?
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: He goes, are you serious? And I was like yep.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: And then he was like, I'll take a black coffee.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: So I did that. I took a walk around the block.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I put Dio's advice into practice. I grabbed myself there
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: a fountain soda, a fountain Dike coke on a nice
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: day is something that is a joy in my life.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: I got a fountain Dike coke. I got him a
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: black coffee. I walked back in, I gave him the coffee,
• 2:48
  Speaker 1: I grabbed my package, and I very happily walked back
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: up the stairs. My quads are definitely feeling it after
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: this week, but it makes me laugh a little bit
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: because on my journey up the stairs, I'm carrying a package,
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: I've got my diet coke. There are just so many
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: people that are complaining about the fact that the elevator
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: isn't working, and everyone is frustrated and how could we
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: live here? And I'm still kind of thinking, like, how
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: lucky am I to live here? Like how lucky am
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I to live in a place where I don't know
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: the elevator goes out. And I know that sounds kind
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: of silly and like you might be rolling your eyes
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: at me, But it's all in perspective, right, It's all
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: in the power of perspective. And my perspective on what
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: could be considered an inconvenience is that perhaps it's an opportunity.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: Perhaps this thing is happening for me, because really, if
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: the elevator was working, I wouldn't have taken the break
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: that I actually really wanted and arguably needed. If the
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: elevator was working, I would have just gone straight back
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: upstairs and gotten back into the groove, or maybe procrastinated
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: getting back into the So I am choosing to find
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: the silver lining of something that may be less than stellar.
• 4:10
  Speaker 2: Let's put it that way. My prompt for you this week,
• 4:12
  Speaker 2: what's one little thing you can do for someone in
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: your life over the weekend.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: Doesn't need to be big, does it need to involve
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: spending money, and it can be even as simple as
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: sending a nice text message. Again, what is one small
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: thing that you can do for somebody else this weekend?
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: And now a listener question.
• 4:33
  Speaker 3: Hi, Emily, I've heard you mentioned on the podcast a
• 4:36
  Speaker 3: couple times that you're working with a life coach, and
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: I was wondering if you would be willing to talk
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: a little bit more about it. How did you decide
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: that you wanted to work with a life coach, how
• 4:45
  Speaker 3: did you find a life coach, what qualifications did you
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: look for, and just what your overall experience of life
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: coaching has been like. I know you've seen a therapist
• 4:54
  Speaker 3: in the past, so I'm curious to know how it
• 4:56
  Speaker 3: compares to therapy and what advice you'd give to someone
• 4:59
  Speaker 3: if they're wondering whatther they should find a therapist or
• 5:01
  Speaker 3: find a life coach. Anything you'd be willing to share
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  Speaker 3: about the experience would be really appreciated. Thanks so much.
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: That's the podcast.
• 5:09
  Speaker 2: Great question.
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: So, yes, I have worked with a therapist in the past,
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: and I have been working with my current life coach
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: for goodness, maybe four months at least.
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: I want to say.
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: We started working together in February, so about four months,
• 5:26
  Speaker 1: and there have been some big differences between the two,
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: although I will say that, yes, there can be a
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: lot of similarities between working with a life coach and
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: working with a therapist. And sometimes when I reference something
• 5:40
  Speaker 1: that I've learned speaking to my life coach, I just
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: go to reference her as a therapist because it seems
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: a little less like froofy, if that makes sense.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: I digress. So, there are a lot.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: Of different certifications that someone can go through to become
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: a certified life coach, and the training to become a
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: life coach is let's say it's extensive, but it's not
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: the same or nearly as lengthy as becoming a therapist.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: So typically speaking, you can become a sharedified life coach
• 6:13
  Speaker 1: within a year, and you want to look for a
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: life coaching program that is ICF accredited. ICF stands for
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: the International Coaching Federation, and essentially you want an ICF
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: accredited education opportunity. Because these have gone through a rigorous
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: review process. They've demonstrated that the curriculum aligns with the
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: ICF definition of coaching and core competencies and quote of ethics.
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: And these are really the best of the best.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: These aren't the kind of programs that you log onto
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  Speaker 1: a website and within a month you're somehow a certified
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: life coach. I work with a woman who does core
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: energy coaching, and essentially the goal of this methodology is
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: getting to the root or as it's called, the core,
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: of someone's challenges by identifying and shifting their inner thoughts.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: And when I started working with her, I took like
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: this lengthy survey so that she could get to know
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: a lot about me, my energy and where I spend
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of it. Now, without going into extensive detail,
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I will say that the difference, the biggest difference between
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: working with this life coach now and working with a
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: therapist previously is I was doing cognitive behavioral therapy before,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: and I never really felt like I was getting much
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: from my time there, Like it was nice to have
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: someone to speak to about what was going on in
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: my life outside of a close friend, someone that I
• 7:39
  Speaker 1: could speak to without judgment, but that really was what
• 7:42
  Speaker 1: it was for me. I didn't walk out of there
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: with a lot of different revelations on what was going
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: on in my life.
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: She may have asked me questions.
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: Every once in a while, but I wasn't really prompted
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: to take different courses of action, and after a while,
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: I felt like that experience got really stagnant for me.
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: Within these four months of working with this new life coach,
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: I feel like she challenges me and says things to
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: me in a way that really make me think, that
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: really make me understand my behaviors, and I can get
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: a sense of why I might be acting a certain way,
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: and if I want to change the way that I'm acting,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: then I now really understand and own that that changes
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: completely within my power. And that the word power, it's
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: really empowering. Whether you are seeking a life coach or
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: a therapist. The best piece of advice that I can
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: give you, and this is what I did is get
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: a referral from someone who may be working with a
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: practitioner that you think could be really good for you,
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: and also date a round. I regret not doing more
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: of that when I started working with my first therapist,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: and I felt a little bit guilty about the idea
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: that it might not be the right fit and stuck
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: it out for perhaps longer than I should have. I'm
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: still grateful for your experience, nonetheless, and it taught me
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: what to do differently going forward.
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  Speaker 2: So date a round.
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  Speaker 1: Remember that this individual is providing you a service, so
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: if you're not completely satisfied with how the service is going,
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  Speaker 1: you have the opportunity to seek business somewhere else. Huh Okay,
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: I think that was a mouthful, but I also feel
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: like I addressed all the parts of this question.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: Thanks for listening. I would love more questions.
• 9:24
  Speaker 1: The link to leave me a voice message and have
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: your question answered on an upcoming episode of Five Minute
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: Friday is in the show notes. Another hurdle conquered. Catch
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: you guys next time.