Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber Path of the Just- Perishoot: Cultivating Leanness to Avoid Dependency and Achieve Higher Potential 7.15.25
Transcript
- 0:00191282 So he asked the question, emphasizing and stressing this
- 0:06idea of pity shoots, which maze in many ways holding back.
- 0:13So we showed so many examples, not being too busy with food,
- 0:17not being too obsessed with drink, not being overly obsessed
- 0:21with needing a perfect sleep or needing to to be a big talker.
- 0:27All these things he says can lead to problems.
- 0:29So instead of person has to basically be lean in all these
- 0:31areas to make themselves less prone to issues.
- 0:34This is pretty shoot, it's an obligation, no relief to a
- 0:38better life. So now he asks, so if this is
- 0:40true, why did the Torah make it part of the Torah itself?
- 0:45If this is a concept that a person should be not so busy
- 0:50with these different things because they're going to lead to
- 0:52problems, gateway problems make us become too obsessed with
- 0:56things, whatever it may be. So why did the turn on the
- 0:58beginning just writing to be entered right into that itself?
- 1:02Be a Polish. Don't be, you know, you have a
- 1:05limit of 100 words. You can say a day, you know, or
- 1:08you shouldn't overeat. Give us the rules, give us the
- 1:11restrictions so that we avoid all these problems.
- 1:15BIM tish al it's Omar. If you're going to ask and say
- 1:18in can, if this is the truth, Air Force, this is obviously a
- 1:23necessary concept of being punished.
- 1:29Maybe it's not itself wouldn't write it.
- 1:30Why the rabbi's make it clear very much across the board rule.
- 1:36Kamoshiga Zoo, they have so many other rules.
- 1:38I see a good issue with Takanochiga Zoo.
- 1:41They have rules like Muksi and all these different rules.
- 1:43Why did they give us a rule? You're not allowed to talk too
- 1:46much or you're not allowed to be too busy with food.
- 1:48I don't know. Here are the shivam avoided to
- 1:51pursue that. The answer is, this concept is
- 1:55not for everybody. The way he says it is as
- 1:57follows. Kilo gazu Hakim zerah ella M Ken
- 2:00rohatsibor yeholima. Moba is a rule myself, Abu
- 2:06Dazarah. They will not give you a decree.
- 2:09They will not give the broader Jewish community a decree unless
- 2:13it's able to be followed. Then Robert Zibu yekhlim leot
- 2:17hasidim and it shouldn't. The reality is majority of the
- 2:21Tibur cannot follow the rules. I just said about the lambs.
- 2:24You said the Kim. It's good enough that they're
- 2:26good people to go and apply this concept to become even a better
- 2:30person at Hakalimbai ah However has the Redeemer should be on
- 2:37the select few Hakaf. It seem this called the
- 2:40corvatoist para who want to get close to the sham, the people
- 2:43who want to avoid pitfalls, who want to become better people.
- 2:47But as well as I call to Biz Kutam and to have much merit to
- 2:51call a shot here on morning and be the ones who really are the
- 2:55people that the whole community depends on.
- 2:57The ones who want to become a little better, the ones who want
- 3:00to become the leader, the ones who want to be the finer people,
- 3:03Lahem and Maggia. Those are the people who require
- 3:07the Kayam Mishnat Hasidim to follow the rules.
- 3:11I just said to be a better person, to be on the top of the
- 3:16community, you need to be the ones who are appreciate the best
- 3:21of the people are those who are Polish.
- 3:23Now again, Polish in this definition does not mean that
- 3:27they live in a cave. It doesn't mean that you can
- 3:30notice anything different about that.
- 3:32It just means they're cognizant and thoughtful to avoid getting
- 3:37pulled into all the problems of life.
- 3:38They're basically very aware and they're very aware of all these
- 3:41concepts that say to themselves, I don't want to be a guy who
- 3:44hangs out for a long amount of time because that's going to
- 3:46lead to Shalom problems. I don't want to be a person who
- 3:49talks too much because that's going to lead to speech issues
- 3:52like a Sean and I etcetera or fights.
- 3:55I don't want to be a person who's so obsessed with the food
- 3:58I eat because that's going to lead to different issues.
- 4:01Like I'm always going to need to have a good meal and I have
- 4:04challenges with cut shoot. I don't want to be a person that
- 4:07always need to have the most comfortable situation because
- 4:09that's going to lead me to become a spoiled person.
- 4:12So basically the person is cognizant of being a better
- 4:16person. He has that in his mind.
- 4:19He's aware of that and he's the one of the select few in the
- 4:22community or the Jewish people who was on top.
- 4:26All right, We're not talking about how much today he learns
- 4:28how much he prays. We're talking about a person.
- 4:32Of course he's strong in all other areas, but in this
- 4:34specific area he's working on himself to avoid problems, so.
- 4:38There's a big issue today if you look around, but we just said
- 4:43the moment sports everything became, oh, I I need to
- 4:47calculate this and be the best at it and it doesn't matter.
- 4:51Like, yeah, I know a guy that used to come to pray in the
- 4:56morning, then his tennis instructors only able to give
- 5:00him 7:00 AM lessons exactly. So the last three months he gave
- 5:04a. It's exactly.
- 5:05It's exactly the idea they have all these examples when a person
- 5:09becomes too connected. I don't think you call the word
- 5:12reliant, but too connected on any of these fronts.
- 5:16What happens is they make themselves now available to so
- 5:20many different challenges like that one, like scheduling
- 5:22challenge. A guy wants to learn, go to
- 5:23class, but he goes to the gym, it's out.
- 5:27You should go to the gym, Perfectly fine person should be
- 5:29fit. That's very much very clear
- 5:32idea, but not if it's going to take away or at least
- 5:35completely. Why?
- 5:36Boy, they're both to learn. Because after four or five
- 5:39years, you say, why does that guy not never go to class?
- 5:42Because he goes to the gym. Could you imagine what he's
- 5:45losing out on? Because he has a certain
- 5:47requirement that's guaranteed. He always plays tennis and it's
- 5:51a simple thing this time. In and of itself, none of these
- 5:53things are bad. That's the beauty of it.
- 5:55None of these things are bad, but what they pull you away from
- 5:58or what they lead you to can be, shouldn't be destructed.
- 6:01It's unbelievable to define it right.
- 6:04The gym is an example. If it force you to give up
- 6:07something, it force you to become too dependent, too
- 6:08connected and makes you therefore more available to
- 6:12problems. Take any of these examples that
- 6:14we have and a person is basically leaner in these
- 6:17examples. All right, take the talking
- 6:20example. He's not a big talker.
- 6:21He make sure not to hang out too long when these conversations go
- 6:26on. Say yourself, what's the big
- 6:28deal to be a talker? It'll be that he wants to
- 6:30schmooze. You're right, you can schmooze,
- 6:32but if you sit and talk for hours and then if you're that
- 6:35type of person, there's a far greater possibility and
- 6:38probability of fights breaking out when it comes to
- 6:41conversations you're having or disputes or saying something
- 6:45wrong. All right, I know people love to
- 6:47hang out. I'm not a hangout type of guy.
- 6:48It's not my thing. I know people love to hang out
- 6:51and they going in with the minds they want to have a good time or
- 6:54good. The reality is bottom line that
- 6:57you have to know who has more fights or is more the sweet.
- 7:01They're trying to have more fun. I'm not as interested in fun.
- 7:04And who has more fights? Those laying out are much more
- 7:08prone to fights than those who don't, right?
- 7:11It's basically simply if you stay away from things.
- 7:14Obviously that healthy approach, but if you leaner in life in
- 7:18general have less probability of leading to problems, less
- 7:24probability of having problems during those instances.
- 7:27That's how it works, right? And the leading includes
- 7:30dependability. The leading includes needing it,
- 7:33leading includes scheduling conflicts.
- 7:36All these things are LED become problems because you're so
- 7:39connected, dependent, reliant on all these different areas.
- 7:43If you're leaner, you have less things that you rely on,
- 7:47dependent and busy with less of her ability to create problems.
- 7:52This is how it works. It's that simple.
- 7:54How many people have been pull their Achilles, for example?
- 7:57Not that many people pull about that many.
- 7:59How many people on the basketball court pull their
- 8:02Achilles a lot more. Why?
- 8:04Because they're on the court and they're jumping and they're
- 8:06running. So the more you're involved in
- 8:08the different areas, the more you have the capability to dump
- 8:11into problems in those areas, which is the way life is.
- 8:14That's his point. And he's saying if you want to
- 8:16become but the upper echelon of the Jewish people and you have
- 8:21to be cognizant and mindful of these concepts.
- 8:25Again, this is not an iron clear idea.
- 8:27No one says don't talk. No one says don't enjoy food.
- 8:30No one says don't go to a restaurant.
- 8:32But they do say don't be a guy who always needs to have a long
- 8:36conversation and sit around and just sit there and talk.
- 8:39That wasn't in cause problems will come out.
- 8:42Don't be a person who always needs to go out to eat all the
- 8:45time, because then there'll be a place where you can't go out to
- 8:48eat and you'll have trouble, or there'll be a time you can't go
- 8:51out to eat and then face an issue of kashut ever.
- 8:54Maybe. So don't be dependent or lied
- 8:57busy with these things. That's the problem.
- 8:59Stop. That's who's telling you.
- 9:00Again, this is in order to become the finer, better part of
- 9:05our community of the Jewish people.
- 9:06Well, that's and that's obvious what you meant this whole week
- 9:10with staying away from things that are mortar.
- 9:13Yeah, because it just like when you, when you, when you play it
- 9:17out in modern society, right 'cause it sounded very ancient.
- 9:23But today you see it in everything.
- 9:27Nothing. Nothing is good enough in the
- 9:30physical world that everyone is suffice with not growing in
- 9:34their spiritual world. What happens is anything that
- 9:37you become linked to physically, right automatically, if you're
- 9:42too linked to it, it pulls away. It has different methods of
- 9:45pulling away, either as a gate Reeves least or more or as a
- 9:51literally as a distraction because it takes you away from
- 9:54whatever you're doing. I think of learners, OK, it's
- 9:57heavy. It's always accurate.
- 9:59It's part of the heavy concept of of of of go ahead 100%.
- 10:03I think of learners, right? Guys in Kuwait, guys who spend
- 10:06the day learning anything, literally anything that comes up
- 10:10that has not involved in learning is unbelievable what it
- 10:14does to their growth. I was looking around yesterday
- 10:17when lake, when I'm looking around, I'm looking at certain
- 10:20people and I knew them from years ago, just random.
- 10:22It happened to be yesterday, one or two guys and I said to
- 10:25myself, and I remember their projection when they were
- 10:29younger, when they were 22 years old, 22 years old, and that
- 10:32projection what their their future was straight up.
- 10:36You follow their path, they can become unbelievable to
- 10:40unbelievable now, are they not? They're not on the level that
- 10:44they could have become. That's all I would say now.
- 10:47Why not? Why not?
- 10:48All they need is one small derailment, Any derailment and
- 10:53it's off. Derailment can be.
- 10:55They got busy with trying to figure out how to how to figure
- 10:58out their finances. OK, that's a real thing.
- 11:00There's no choice. Derailment can be.
- 11:02They really weren't so committed to sitting and learning the way
- 11:05they were at that age. Whatever it is they got busy
- 11:08with, you know, having a problem in her name, they got for this
- 11:11Army lights in the building. I look at myself the same
- 11:14derailment. Any person has a derailment,
- 11:16anything, and it takes away from where they're headed, right?
- 11:20So fine, They didn't go off. They didn't do anything crazy.
- 11:23There's not exactly where the natural projection would have
- 11:26been if they just follow that path as is.
- 11:28That's the way life is. But any person that you and I
- 11:31both know, any people we know who are, you know, good people
- 11:36at heart who would dedicate people, they can become
- 11:39unbelievable. What happens is life things at
- 11:43the fine. If things come up, they have to
- 11:45deal with them, but they themselves on their own will got
- 11:48involved in things, got busy with something and you save
- 11:51yourself one second. This guy had unbelievable
- 11:53potential, but he was too busy. Yes, with tennis, he likes
- 11:57tennis, that's great. But people obsessed with tennis,
- 12:00how much they're taking away because of that, always too
- 12:02overly driven to make money beyond the normal amount.
- 12:06Or he cares too much what people think.
- 12:09Or his entire person that loves to schmooze all the time and
- 12:12it's like a bad thing. But you know what?
- 12:14All these things derail a person is how it works.
- 12:18And all it tells you is if you're a leaner in these areas,
- 12:22if you stick to who you are, he has such a greater capability of
- 12:25becoming unbelievable. Every person you and I both know
- 12:29has great potential. The problem is how they take
- 12:32themselves out. And this is voluntarily because
- 12:35of enjoyment. You have a guy who was a great
- 12:37guy. He's a sports fan.
- 12:38OK, I like sports. Sportsman is great.
- 12:41Yeah, but. You don't over here.
- 12:41He's not saying moderation, he's saying absences.
- 12:44Like you stay away from it. So it's the ability to stay away
- 12:47from, you're right, by the way, really moderation is really the
- 12:50modern day version of this. Stay away, stay away is the way
- 12:53to say, OK, keep it away to never get close.
- 12:56But the goal is to have limitations.
- 12:59The challenge is it's hard to limit yourself, especially if
- 13:02you have our community or the modern Jewish person.
- 13:06Everything we get involved in, we get obsessed.
- 13:08That's the way we are. All right.
- 13:10The guy is a tennis guy to the ABS example.
- 13:13If he's a good tennis guy, he's good at it.
- 13:15Or he's a golfer. OK?
- 13:16Some people like golf. I can hear you.
- 13:18Any other people who golf every single day?
- 13:21OK, Every day, or they're not working that much?
- 13:23They golf every single day. Golf every single day.
- 13:25Are you serious? I'm sure by Day 4 of the week,
- 13:29by Wednesday, right? The Gulf is not really because
- 13:32they enjoy the Gulf. It's not possible.
- 13:34Rather, it's just that this became a routine.
- 13:37So then that's that's right there.
- 13:38That's literally life being taken away.
- 13:41I mean, I guess productivity being taken away unless they
- 13:44have a method to be productive through that.
- 13:46I don't want to disparage anybody unless that way to be
- 13:48productive through that. That's the way to have a free
- 13:51clear mind. OK, They make money that way or
- 13:53they produce it that way. Feel far between.
- 13:56But if a guy becomes depending too much on golfing every single
- 13:59day, you got to say the hours that are being taken away,
- 14:03there's productivity being ruined.
- 14:05That's the same mindset. A guy with a tennis guy now he
- 14:08needs to be with the instructor all the time is constantly.
- 14:11OK, relax. You know, you're not going,
- 14:13you're not going to Wimbledon tomorrow.
- 14:14So, so relax, you know what I mean?
- 14:16There's degrees on levels that we get connected and busy and
- 14:20involved, and all this are all distractions from the genuine
- 14:25you and I and the capability we can become.
- 14:27That's what it is. That's how it works, all right?
- 14:30And we have a knack for being obsessed.
- 14:33We all have knacks for being obsessed.
- 14:35I don't know if it's the Syrian mentality, Jewish mythology,
- 14:38whatever it is, we like to get involved.
- 14:40Great, but watch where it goes. That's the challenge, all right?
- 14:44It's the idea. People want to dip in the pool
- 14:46once a day. Fine, that's good.
- 14:49The rainy day, you're in a bad mood because they didn't get
- 14:52their pool dipped. OK, That you've ruined it.
- 14:55You just ruined the purpose of your little habit.
- 14:58The purpose is to give you a little pleasure, not to make you
- 15:02sad. And saying it's literally the
- 15:03same idea as addiction, same idea as everything.
- 15:05That's how he's telling he knew the Pahot.
- 15:09He says, yes, baam, mother got, mother got.
- 15:14There are many levels to our Jewish people, many degrees.
- 15:18We're talking about the best. At least let's have some people
- 15:29who prepare themselves properly. And it's interesting, these
- 15:38people lead the way for all our people.
- 15:41When you have such people like this who are not so dependent,
- 15:45such people that are, you know, keeping themselves out of harm's
- 15:49way, by the way, keeping themselves out of being involved
- 15:52in all these things. These people lead the way.
- 15:55The whole Jewish people, same ideas we have to love has four
- 16:04different meaning, right? That the set has four meaning.
- 16:07And the idea is each one has a special strength.
- 16:11The other one doesn't have one good one.
- 16:16Let's compare on the other one, which O karma tsuya was a whole
- 16:19a torch shamala Bishop and the V bin ma said to all the ula
- 16:23Barkoshev Shiva Shiva, the law mishnai of Wamala vahi mishna
- 16:28tracedimu. Or is this conversation, I don't
- 16:38know the instant inside city inside it was an example of
- 16:40where not all people have the same requirements.
- 16:43OK, this is the idea. Patient.
- 16:45OK, so just before we go to the next step, which probably we'll
- 16:47do tomorrow, let's absorb this concept.
- 16:50The concept clearly is, is that a person can be able to reach a
- 16:56far greater level. A person can become a much more
- 17:01productive person and a much more beautiful person by doing
- 17:04the following, by being less connected, dependent, busy,
- 17:09involved and things in this world, right?
- 17:13The less you are, the better off you are.
- 17:15Now again, the greedy is called pretty shoot, which means
- 17:18completely wiped away. Fine, that's a far level.
- 17:21But the concept we can observe for us today is, is that all
- 17:25these things we are busy with, anything we're involved in,
- 17:28realize and follow. What did it lead to?
- 17:31If it led to me having more relaxed life, OK, great.
- 17:35But if it led to me to being upset when I don't have it or
- 17:38LED to a problem where because it leads to a path to another
- 17:41issue, led to a dependency, led to an obsession with
- 17:46materialism, whatever it may be, will led to a inability to
- 17:51function without it. All these things are really all
- 17:56literally, if you think about America today, if you think
- 17:59about America today, there's so much that we have, I had,
- 18:03there's so much that we would tell ourselves.
- 18:05If I don't have that one thing, my idea is not the same.
- 18:08All right? So it's kind of backfiring if
- 18:11you without it to overtake you that kind of backfired.
- 18:14The purpose or purpose, the purpose of all these things that
- 18:16we have are meant to make life easier.
- 18:20Yet if you're missing one of them, life is impossible.
- 18:24That's overdoing these ideas is enjoyment and that's where
- 18:28petition comes in. Stick to the basics, be a leaner
- 18:32person in every area and never be feel better by yourself.
- 18:36Feel good, always feel the same. The more dependent you are, all
- 18:41the different things, the more your mood can swing, the more if
- 18:44you're depending on good weather, your mood swings on bad
- 18:47weather, that's 50% of your life.
- 18:48OK, right there. If you depend on good sleep,
- 18:52your days are fully dependent on good sleep.
- 18:55And again, not every day is a good sleep, right?
- 18:58I'm always sleeping right. Depending on if you dependent on
- 19:02that, everything has to feel good around you.
- 19:04You need then a lot of times we have things that are up in the
- 19:07air, all right. It's dependent on a perfect
- 19:10meal. A lot of times they don't enjoy
- 19:11your food. You go on and on and on and
- 19:14dependency really controls our mood.
- 19:20So again, an example, the more you're involved, the more you're
- 19:23busy, the more it leads to problems.
- 19:26Exactly. That's exactly what it is.
- 19:28We start thinking what the idea of it is.
- 19:31America is what's going on. America is, I share all these
- 19:35different concepts. They seem, you know, extreme.
- 19:40Oh wow, that's the person altruistic.
- 19:41No, that's the person extremely idealistic.
- 19:43They actually are the leaner, healthier, more genuine you as
- 19:49the one who's less dependent. That's idealist.
- 19:50Top of the global.