Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #374 Getting Back to School After COVID with Michael Parker

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#374 Getting Back to School After COVID with Michael Parker · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, even if a child would prefer to be in
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: their bedroom on their own for three months or for
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: ten years, it is very very rare that that would
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: actually be a good thing for their development.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And now here's the stars of our show, my mum
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  Speaker 1: and dad.
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  Speaker 3: This is doctor Justin Coulson. Hello, I'm the founder of
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: Happy Families dot com. Dot I you I'm here with Kylie.
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  Speaker 3: That's a bit where you say hello like I said hello,
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  Speaker 3: Hello mother.
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  Speaker 4: Do our six kids and my podcast co host.
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  Speaker 3: Last week, we had this really great conversation with an
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  Speaker 3: author and school principal.
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  Speaker 4: His name is Michael Parker.
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  Speaker 3: He wrote a book called Talk with Your Kids about
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  Speaker 3: Things that Matter, issues like friendship, respect, honesty, bulling, consent,
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  Speaker 3: and pandemic stuff like. Such a fun conversation, such an
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  Speaker 3: important conversation, and a book that we have been experimenting
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: with differing level of success over the last week with
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  Speaker 3: our children.
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  Speaker 5: Let's just say the conversations around the dinner table are
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  Speaker 5: getting quite interesting these days.
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  Speaker 4: It's been a lot of fun.
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  Speaker 3: But because Michael is not just the author of this
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  Speaker 3: wonderful book, but also the principal at Newington College, and
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  Speaker 3: because well everything keeps on changing everywhere, especially for New
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  Speaker 3: South Wales Act and Victoria, but we wanted to have
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  Speaker 3: another conversation with him and get his wisdom around kids
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  Speaker 3: going back to school as a result of the COVID
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  Speaker 3: nineteen panic panic pandemic.
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  Speaker 4: No I shouldn't, I shouldn't push them.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's right, and sort of ask a handful of
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  Speaker 3: questions around that because we've got Victoria trying to get
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  Speaker 3: kids back to school in New South Wales trying to
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  Speaker 3: get kids back to school, and children need to be
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  Speaker 3: at school like that daily rhythm that they get into
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  Speaker 3: where they get to say by mum, by dad, and
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  Speaker 3: then they catch up with their friends. They go to class.
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  Speaker 3: The learning that they do isn't just home learning with
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  Speaker 3: a sheet in front of zoom. They're interacting with their peers,
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  Speaker 3: they listen to their teachers, they're getting involved in conversations
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  Speaker 3: and all that sort of stuff. And then they go
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  Speaker 3: to recess and they have the social time, like it's
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  Speaker 3: so different to being at home. So with everything, the fears,
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  Speaker 3: the worries, the stresses, all that sort of stuff, all
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  Speaker 3: the dramas.
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  Speaker 4: That was far too long an intro. Michael Parker, thanks
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  Speaker 4: for joining us again.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you good to be able to talk to you again.
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  Speaker 4: That was just me.
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  Speaker 3: Getting so excited about kids going back to school. Where
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  Speaker 3: do you want to start? You must be yeah, absolutely,
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  Speaker 3: where should we start?
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  Speaker 5: Hunt, Michael, I'm just wondering what's important for parents to
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  Speaker 5: know right now? When I talk to you know, all
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  Speaker 5: of my friends, everybody is so concerned about their children
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  Speaker 5: falling behind. You know, the last two years have been
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  Speaker 5: ridiculously hard on families and especially our children as they
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  Speaker 5: kind of try to be educated in such a new
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  Speaker 5: and interesting format. What's important for parents to understand and
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  Speaker 5: know right now?
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  Speaker 2: I think some level of security and all while on
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  Speaker 2: the head of one school, I hope you know, I
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  Speaker 2: can I can speak to what many many of my
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  Speaker 2: college is in the teaching profession we'll be doing is saying, yeah, well,
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  Speaker 2: we'll recognize that that learning will will have been a
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  Speaker 2: little bit patchy for for some kids. There'll be some holes.
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  Speaker 2: And I'm speaking as a father as well, who can
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  Speaker 2: identify the holes and my my children's you know, where
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  Speaker 2: they are. So I think that the teachers, many of
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  Speaker 2: the teachers will be going and saying, okay, where where
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  Speaker 2: are they up to? What have what have they got to?
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  Speaker 2: And and let's let's go from there. So whether whether
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  Speaker 2: at the younger are at younger levels, that's you know what,
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  Speaker 2: what what reading level are they are? Let's test that.
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  Speaker 2: And when I say test, it doesn't mean a test
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  Speaker 2: test for the student's sake, it's test for the teachers
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  Speaker 2: say to know where they are and go right, let's
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  Speaker 2: let's go from that point and keep and keep keep
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  Speaker 2: the reading going from there. We'll keep the mathematical knowledge
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  Speaker 2: going from there. And for for older kids, whether it's
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  Speaker 2: the historical knowledge or geography or whatever it is. So
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  Speaker 2: so I think there'll be a lot of that taking
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  Speaker 2: stock and going from there rather than just moving ahead
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  Speaker 2: as if nothing had happened.
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  Speaker 4: Michael.
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  Speaker 3: A lot of parents that I've spoken to are really
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  Speaker 3: concerned about sending their children to school for health reasons.
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  Speaker 3: If they've got younger children, they're worried that the kids
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  Speaker 3: might catch the virus. If they've got older children, there's
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  Speaker 3: still some vaccine hesitancy, particularly for parents of kids in
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  Speaker 3: that sort of twelve plus age group where they're supposed
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  Speaker 3: to be getting vaccinated. But there's a lot of people
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  Speaker 3: who are saying, I just I don't know if I
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  Speaker 3: want my kids to have this vaccine. There's a lot
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  Speaker 3: of people who are saying it's still too new. What
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  Speaker 3: kind of feedback are you getting from parents and what
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  Speaker 3: are you saying to reassure them, because obviously that's going
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  Speaker 3: to be a central part of your role over the
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  Speaker 3: next little while.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so yes, we are getting both the let's get
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  Speaker 2: everybody back and you know, I'm worried about my child
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  Speaker 2: getting getting sick. A phrase that we've been using for
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  Speaker 2: the last two years is that we operate under the
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  Speaker 2: umbrella of health advice, and the health advice is that kids,
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  Speaker 2: although they catch COVID, they are much much, much less
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  Speaker 2: likely to get it. Seriously, it presents more as a
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  Speaker 2: as a cold or a flu, and they are significantly
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  Speaker 2: less likely to pass it on. So we are operating
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  Speaker 2: with that advice that it is for them, not hugely,
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  Speaker 2: particularly how the adults are vaccinated, it is. It is
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  Speaker 2: not a huge, huge issue for them. Now it will
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  Speaker 2: be for a tiny minority. But at the same time,
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  Speaker 2: the world needs to move on. The kids need to
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  Speaker 2: be educated. They can't they can't sit at home in
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  Speaker 2: perpetuity on zoo, and so schools will do what they can.
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  Speaker 2: But it is we're also sort of offering that comfort
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  Speaker 2: that the health advice is giving us.
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  Speaker 3: Let me ask another question that I think is a
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  Speaker 3: really challenging one. Many parents that I've spoken with are saying,
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  Speaker 3: my kids are much happier at home.
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  Speaker 4: I've got a child who's got anxiety, or I've.
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  Speaker 3: Got kids that are on the spectrum, or they've got
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  Speaker 3: ADHD or any other kind of additional need, or maybe
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  Speaker 3: they've just got quite kids, the ones who really like
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  Speaker 3: their own company and like their own space.
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  Speaker 4: What what's your.
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  Speaker 3: Response for families whose children are really not wanting to
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  Speaker 3: go back to school because they like the they like
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  Speaker 3: the lack of sociality, they like the fact that the
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  Speaker 3: pressure is often that things have changed. How do we
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  Speaker 3: how do we work with those kids and help them
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  Speaker 3: to be in a place where ultimately it's for their
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  Speaker 3: benefit to be at school.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, and and I would I would make that later point.
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  Speaker 2: Even if a child would prefer to be in their
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  Speaker 2: bedroom on their own for three months or for teen years,
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  Speaker 2: it is very very rare that that would actually be
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  Speaker 2: a good thing for their development. So the difficulties at school,
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  Speaker 2: the learning, the social interactions and the spiky social and
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  Speaker 2: I don't believe or anything like that, because just that
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  Speaker 2: daily budding up against other human beings who've got other
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  Speaker 2: needs and other things that happened to them, whatever that is,
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  Speaker 2: that is important and it's preferable to do that. So
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  Speaker 2: so unless there's something very very particular about the child
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  Speaker 2: or the child situation of the family, school being with
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  Speaker 2: other people is better.
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  Speaker 3: For probably worth also throwing in that most schools have
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  Speaker 3: wonderful supports in terms of guidance officers, psychologists, counselors and
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  Speaker 3: the like who are going to be able to support
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  Speaker 3: kids who are feeling that little bit anxious as well.
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  Speaker 2: And absolutely the counselors, I think that, you know, all
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  Speaker 2: the counseling stuff are are ready to help the kids
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  Speaker 2: have that trouble adjusting back to what it is to
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  Speaker 2: be in a school environment. So and many many schools
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  Speaker 2: will be will be preparing for that, and it's something
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  Speaker 2: for parents as well to be able to be able
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  Speaker 2: to have those conversations with their kids. So yeah, I
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  Speaker 2: think that, yeah, there'll be steps on the way, and
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  Speaker 2: there'll be extra things that society has to do, but
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  Speaker 2: it's an important place to get to. And I mean
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  Speaker 2: there's always been home schooling for parents and for families
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  Speaker 2: who make that in principal decision that schooling is not
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  Speaker 2: for them, and so that was there before, it will
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  Speaker 2: be there after.
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  Speaker 5: Well, we're having an intriguing conversation with Michael Parker, principal
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  Speaker 5: at Newington College and author of Talk with Your Kids
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  Speaker 5: About Things that Matter. After the break, we're going to
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  Speaker 5: delve into our seniors Year twelve students and find out
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  Speaker 5: how we can help them.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 8:52
  Speaker 6: Imagine a home where discipline got results without anyone having
• 8:56
  Speaker 6: to feel bad or in trouble. The do's and don'ts
• 8:58
  Speaker 6: of discipline as a webinar to help parents set limits
• 9:01
  Speaker 6: with love, compassion and humanity. Find it now at happy
• 9:04
  Speaker 6: families dot com, dot au slash shop.
• 9:08
  Speaker 5: It's the Happy Families Podcast, the podcast for the time
• 9:10
  Speaker 5: poor parent who just wants answers now, And today we
• 9:13
  Speaker 5: are talking with Michael Parker.
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  Speaker 3: He's the author of Talk with Your Kids About Things
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  Speaker 3: that Matter and the principal at Newington College. Michael, thanks
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  Speaker 3: again for taking time to have a chat with us
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  Speaker 3: about this year twelve, students are really under the pump
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  Speaker 3: at the moment. There's all kinds of pressures. Parents are
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  Speaker 3: worried about how their lives are going to be affected
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  Speaker 3: because they're not going to potentially have had the ideal
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  Speaker 3: preparation leading into their ATAR and their HSC studies or
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  Speaker 3: their vcees or whatever it might be.
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  Speaker 4: And whichever stated is, what are you.
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  Speaker 3: Seeing in terms of stress levels for parents and students
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  Speaker 3: in that senior year year twelve, and what advice are
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  Speaker 3: you giving to those families.
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  Speaker 2: So for most kids, the stress levels are significantly up,
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  Speaker 2: and I think that is because two reasons. One that
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  Speaker 2: changed nature of how they learned the last part of
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  Speaker 2: the HC and also the uncertainty and that the number
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  Speaker 2: of changes that they've been so it's totally understandable that
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  Speaker 2: the stress levels up. And also that most of them
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  Speaker 2: haven't been se any of their friends and they've missed
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: out on the richual that I can keep cutting them off.
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  Speaker 2: There's there's a whole series of reasons why kids can
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  Speaker 2: can easily be be feeling more stressed. Two factors I
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  Speaker 2: think that it's important to remember is that it's still
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  Speaker 2: a level playing for I mean, everybody has experienced home learning,
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  Speaker 2: and there's been there's been different not everywhere, but there's
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  Speaker 2: there's been different types of home learning, but there there
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  Speaker 2: has been. It is something that hasn't just happened to them,
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  Speaker 2: It's happened to tens and tens and tens of thousands
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  Speaker 2: of kids. There is there is also a pretty elaborate
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  Speaker 2: misadventure procedure or an equity procedure for the whole schools
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  Speaker 2: who haven't been able to get to school and do
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  Speaker 2: their artwork and so on. I mean, in a funny way,
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  Speaker 2: there's so many people are leap robbing using that equity
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  Speaker 2: access and there's almost no one left to leap frog over.
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  Speaker 2: So the and the other point is that a tars
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  Speaker 2: particularly where where the number really matters, that's for kids
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  Speaker 2: going to university, and the universities, as it turns out,
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  Speaker 2: really need domestic students next year.
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  Speaker 3: So of course, of course, because there's no one coming
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  Speaker 3: in front overseas, so they're not going to reach their
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  Speaker 3: quotas they need more students in the classrooms, you'd expect
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  Speaker 3: that the ATAR requirements would drop.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think that a lot of these kids,
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  Speaker 2: despite the Royal experience they have will end up in
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  Speaker 2: the thing that as many the thing that they wanted
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  Speaker 2: to do that for that reason.
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  Speaker 4: Just before, Yeah, I mean the level.
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  Speaker 2: Of precision that the atar's got. You know, there's what
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  Speaker 2: is it? Yeah, you go from thirty to ninety nine,
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  Speaker 2: ninety nine and then there's twenty marks within each other.
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  Speaker 2: That level of precision is is so minute that I
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  Speaker 2: think you can say, look, if I get between you know,
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  Speaker 2: eighty seven or eighty nine, that's great. Or if I
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  Speaker 2: get between sort of you know, seventy six and eighty two,
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  Speaker 2: that's where I was looking at. I think if you don't,
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  Speaker 2: if you if you had a zone rather than obsessed
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  Speaker 2: on a number, then I think that would that would
• 12:26
  Speaker 2: help help you out.
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  Speaker 4: As well, Michael.
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  Speaker 3: Just before we dive into our last question, which Kylie
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  Speaker 3: is looking for, I guess with a bit of reassurance,
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  Speaker 3: something that I also think is worth highlighting is that
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  Speaker 3: from time immemorial, Year twelve students have been experiencing all
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  Speaker 3: kinds of hiccups, dramas, and even self sabotage for their.
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  Speaker 4: Final year of school.
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  Speaker 3: I'm I'm the walking, talking poster child of the child
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  Speaker 3: who's year twelve was just awful. It was a complete disaster,
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  Speaker 3: and I had no desire to go to university. But
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  Speaker 3: a few years later, once I've grown up a little
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  Speaker 3: bit matured, I was ready to be at UNI. And
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: that's when that that's when my education actually really really started.
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  Speaker 3: My suspicion is that for children who have had a
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: disrupted senior year of high school, they'll recover pretty quickly.
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: They'll get on with it.
• 13:17
  Speaker 2: I was the year that the HC got stolen, and
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: my how did you.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: Get the stolen?
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  Speaker 2: What was that They the people broke broke into where
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: where all the paper exams were kept, and you could
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: in the ear I won't mentioned the area, but you
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: could go to the local McDonald's and get a burger
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: of friars and a chemistry exam and it was it
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: was crazy. And then he cut a long story short.
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: Triple J got the or the I think the Double
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: J O the time, but anyway, Triple J got the
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: got the exam. And then they read the ancient history
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: exam out over the radio while I was studying and listening.
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: I was studying something, but I was listening to a
• 13:58
  Speaker 2: Triple J. And they they read one of my exams
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: out over the radio, and I remember thinking this has
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: to be a dream because you know, your exam doesn't
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: get right out over the radio. But anyway, we I
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: mean that exam got put back three weeks. You know,
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: my schools went down the brain and everything, and you
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: know I'm still here.
• 14:17
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I think that that's a really really
• 14:19
  Speaker 3: reassuring message the kids. They'll get what they get, but
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: if they really want to do something, they'll figure out
• 14:24
  Speaker 3: a way to get in. Even if this years been disrupted.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: They might get in next year or the year after
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: or when they're twenty six, but they'll be able to
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: do what they want if university is where they want
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: to go.
• 14:32
  Speaker 4: And for those that aren't worried about UNI, it's that's
• 14:35
  Speaker 4: probably not even that big of a deal. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: I think when you when you're getting if you're not
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: looking for unique you and you're trying to push yourself
• 14:43
  Speaker 2: a bit, you're trying to learn that stuff because I mean,
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: you know, there's stuff in your togs worth learning for itself,
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: not just to get a number. And you know you'll
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: you'll still have all that and you'll you'll have the
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: HSC and employers will take them yeah, so.
• 14:58
  Speaker 4: I think they still need to hire a p people,
• 15:00
  Speaker 4: So that's right.
• 15:02
  Speaker 5: So, Michael, I'm wondering what would be your take home
• 15:05
  Speaker 5: message for parents, for parents.
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: Of of all all the different kids. And I say
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: this as a parent myself of a year twelve and
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: yet tensitive two to try to yeah, for the rest
• 15:23
  Speaker 2: of this year, Yeah, take a deep breath, because I
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: think we'll I think we'll get there, and I think
• 15:29
  Speaker 2: we'll get back to normal. It's going to be some
• 15:32
  Speaker 2: chopping water on the on the way through, but the
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: steps are in the right direction, and the steps are
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: about getting kids back and getting them with each other
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: and having the joy of them seeing each other and learning,
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: and will it is it is very very very likely
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: that where we'll get there by the end of the year,
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: all beginning of next year.
• 15:53
  Speaker 5: And I'm wondering if you have a take home message
• 15:55
  Speaker 5: for the students, especially are your twelve's coming to the
• 15:58
  Speaker 5: final final stretch.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're really looking forward to seeing you again. The
• 16:06
  Speaker 2: schools that empty. I'm at the school every day and
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: it's just it's just it's bizarre, tumbleweed's going down. I
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: know your teachers are both bably naggy. If you're homework
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: and they're telling you to pull your stocks up and stuff.
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: But they like you and they want to see you
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: again and they're looking forward to having you back. So
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: you know, come back with us bringing you step because
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: we're looking forward to having you.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: I love that message. I think that might be one
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: of the nicest things that you could have said. And
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: it's totally not what I was expecting. But Michael Parker,
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: principle of Newington College, author of Talk with Your Kids
• 16:39
  Speaker 3: About Things That Matter, thank you so much for sharing
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: your ideas about kids in the lockdown States preparing to
• 16:45
  Speaker 3: head back to school and get things going again.
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: It's been a pleasure to chat with you.
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: Pleasure talking with you too. Thank you.
• 16:51
  Speaker 3: The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin Ruland from
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: Bridge Media.
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
• 16:56
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• 16:57
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  Speaker 3: it shows up in their feed. They get to listen
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: to it make their families happier.
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: Who could ask for more?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Please jump on and spend sixty seconds leaving a rating
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: and review. Five stars Please, we really like the five
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: star ones, the other ones not quote so important and
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: if you'd like more, ifoil about making your family happier
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: other than here on the podcast, please check out Happy
• 17:18
  Speaker 3: Families dot com, dot a