Latest / Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast / ONLY BOMBS! 28: Lindsey Campbell | Kill Tony Comedian on Dark Humor, Hospitals & Finding Comedy

Transcript

ONLY BOMBS! 28: Lindsey Campbell | Kill Tony Comedian on Dark Humor, Hospitals & Finding Comedy · Only Bombs! Comedy Podcast

1:04
Well, hello, Lindsay. How you doing? Hey, I'm
1:07
doing great. How are you Trey on stage? Trey
1:11
on stage? Off stage, Trey. Right, even off stage,
1:14
right? How's Mages going? Mages is awesome. Mages,
1:19
we're having a lot of fun. I've built a nice
1:21
little stage, so there's no longer just an area
1:24
where you stand and do comedy. I built a stage.
1:26
Oh, man. I got some stuff and... put a little
1:31
space together for us and the mic is growing
1:33
and the showcase was a lot of fun and the owner
1:36
is oh my god talk about a gem he is a delight
1:40
i love Javier who owns that place um but it's
1:44
going really well and we're expanding we're doing
1:46
more of these showcase things and he's like it's
1:49
not even just for me it's like he's opened up
1:51
his shop like really for the comedy community
1:53
as a whole Like so many people are doing things
1:56
out of there and they're just like cultivating
1:58
their own little like nerd Comedy community and
2:01
it's so cool to be a part of. Oh, yeah, that
2:03
that is really cool I I really enjoyed it when
2:06
I went there Last time I was there I bombed heavily
2:09
and that was my own fault, but there was no stage
2:13
Yeah, but now I want to I want to go see it with
2:16
the stage. That's really cool. I saw that something
2:19
with with y 'all With that you said there's a
2:23
showcase right and you said there was a bunch
2:25
of different comics on there Yeah, so we did
2:27
a showcase for June Munford Davis was the headliner.
2:31
Oh We had Jason Vest obviously Trey Campbell
2:35
Michael Scott Goodness who else was on that show
2:39
Michael Scott JP Hensdale did some time Alex
2:43
Tarshun was on there It was just a lot of fun.
2:46
Then we have another one coming up in July Yeah,
2:49
yeah. Oh wait. Can you say who's gonna be on
2:51
that one? Yeah, we have Aya is gonna be the headliner
2:54
this time. I love Aya. She is hilarious Yeah,
2:58
we have Joe Ellis who's gonna come by we have
3:00
Blazing Nana. Oh, yeah, Charlie G We have oh
3:08
goodness, I hope nobody pulls out cuz I'm forgetting
3:11
to say their name right now, but it's stacked
3:13
It's like a showcase. We're trying to fit in
3:14
as much as we can And the first one was great.
3:19
We had a bunch. We like brought beer and wine
3:21
and everybody was just having a great time. We're
3:24
going to do that again. We sold. Well, it's not
3:26
us. We have this like girl who like sells food
3:29
at the shop sometimes and she was slinging like
3:31
empanadas and like what? Yeah, it was like dirty,
3:34
like old school L .A. Secret show vibes. Oh,
3:38
yeah, man. That's cool. Yeah, that's cool. Yeah,
3:41
I loved it over there my girlfriend she brought
3:43
a friend of hers over there to get like cards
3:46
and and I was trying to tell him the story about
3:49
how I was Basically, like I didn't understand
3:52
like the nerds and nerd like culture and stuff
3:55
But then I get there and I'm like, oh these guys
3:58
are actually really badass and and I'm a fucking
4:01
moron like cuz I don't just don't understand
4:03
it, you know, but But what I mean by that is
4:07
that I didn't really get, for example, the game
4:10
Magic the Gathering. I don't know anything about
4:15
that game. I don't know anything about that or
4:16
Dungeons and Dragons. So I remember going to
4:19
the mic and being like, I hope I know what to
4:21
talk about in this place. And then I get there
4:24
and I'm like, oh, yeah, they don't give a fuck
4:26
about that at all. Yeah, that's just all me If
4:30
they're playing magic, they might not care So
4:32
I always give special points like if you could
4:34
make the magic the gathering guys if you can
4:35
make their ears perk up Then you're doing a really
4:38
good job. Yeah, that's all it takes. It's just
4:40
different passions You know, they're very knowledgeable
4:42
and passionate about the game and it's about
4:44
stuff like that I know I still know nothing about
4:46
it But I did start playing poker on my phone
4:50
recently. So I guess I can kind of nice, you
4:53
know, like cards, right? Yeah, they're inspiring
4:55
me to be a better person Yeah, hell yeah. Are
4:58
you enjoying the poker? I've never played poker
5:00
before. It's really fun. It's really fun. I lost
5:03
like $4 yesterday though, oh man. Like four real
5:06
dollars? Four real dollars. No way. I was really
5:08
upset, yeah. Oh, I would've been upset too. Yeah,
5:11
but I'm gonna, my day will come. Yeah. It's coming.
5:14
You're gonna hit the jackpot. I will. Are you
5:17
gonna take your skills to the casino? Yeah, probably
5:22
when I get better at counting see what I'm doing
5:24
is I'm like asking chat GPT This is like a real
5:27
card house by the way, so you probably shouldn't
5:29
even like I'm not gonna have you cut this out
5:31
Like I'll show the hand of a great chat GPT.
5:34
What do I do? And then I'm just learning right
5:36
and then when I get better that's, you know,
5:39
bamboozling people on the card app, then I'll
5:41
go to the Indian casinos, because, you know,
5:44
they're doing, that community as a whole, they
5:46
can take them for the team, right? Yeah, they're
5:48
going to be like, how? Did you think you can
5:50
get away with this? That is good. So you could,
5:54
like, chat GPT, like, you could take a picture
5:56
of your hand, and then chat GPT would be like,
5:59
oh, this is what you want to do next? Yeah, I
6:01
just screen cap it really quick, and I'm like,
6:02
yo. No way. Yeah. Don't always do that. I'm gonna
6:06
pickle I do it Usually when I win, that's why
6:09
oh my gosh. I don't know. I'm sorry from rub
6:12
my eyes a lot I literally like I just woke up
6:14
like less than an hour ago. So I'm like like
6:16
I've been laying down on a therapist's office
6:20
all morning with pillows and this little pillow
6:23
shaped like a poop and then like a Paddington
6:25
bear from the 1970s so I'm right there with you.
6:27
I've been awake, but just barely. Yeah Yeah I
6:32
get like that too, where I'm just sitting there
6:34
for days up on end and all of a sudden I just
6:36
kind of crash out. Is that how you get it too?
6:40
Oh yeah, and then your body's like, oh no, moving
6:42
is too much, that's too hard. So then you just
6:45
kind of have to be parallel for a little while.
6:47
Yeah, for me it was heavily in cycles. It's a
6:54
pendulum. It is a pendulum. Yeah, and it sucks.
6:57
Yeah. How's comedy been for you? Comedy's been
7:00
good. I've been in a hot streak. I've been performing
7:04
really well. I've been writing some. I'm trying
7:08
to stay focused, focusing on the producing aspect
7:10
of this showcase now also. Oh, yeah. A cool thing
7:14
about my work schedule, like loosening up, is
7:16
that I can actually think about comedy more.
7:19
I don't have to, like last time I sat down with
7:21
you. I was like worried about like census building
7:24
and like occupancy and like words that I, if
7:27
I didn't, if they weren't paying me a lot of
7:29
money to know, I wouldn't have even known those
7:30
words. Wow. So now it's like I can focus, I can
7:33
hone in more on comedy and like really try to
7:35
be locked in as much as I can. Oh, nice. Have
7:38
you been kind of like learning anything, anything
7:40
new getting more locked in? Have you kind of
7:43
had any kind of revelations at all about comedy
7:46
that you were like, oh shit, I wish I would have
7:47
known this sooner. No, I think I've just gotten
7:50
better at writing down my thoughts Yeah, yeah,
7:53
because I would say something and I'd be like
7:55
oh I'm gonna write that down later, and then
7:56
I just never wrote it down So I'm doing a better
7:58
job at that and then also just being kind of
8:01
fearless at the mics like yeah Just I've been
8:04
doing this a long time. You know why am I? It's
8:06
like for you guys here, and I'm bigger than all
8:08
of you like if we put it all together like if
8:10
there's a trance There's a transformation segment
8:12
of this set. I'm still winning. You know sure
8:15
yeah, yeah, so you you kind of have Well, what
8:20
is your approach like when you're writing a joke?
8:23
Do you just sit down and write thought out and
8:27
then just kind of trim the fat? Or what's your
8:30
approach to joke writing? I'll just have a funny
8:32
thought and then I kind of make it into like
8:34
a dry paragraph, like I'm EE Cummings or something,
8:37
I don't know, because that's like my default.
8:38
And then I'll look at it and then I trim the
8:40
fat and then I punch it up if I need to. Sometimes
8:43
it just all comes together, but sometimes I play
8:46
around with the idea for a little while. Did
8:48
you ever have a hard time understanding what
8:51
a punchline was? No, I mean, maybe I do. I'm
8:56
not the arbiter of comedy. I try my best, but
8:58
I think that's when they're supposed to laugh
8:59
the loudest. That's what I shoot for. I think
9:02
you're absolutely correct. I had trouble for
9:06
the longest time with, like, what is a punchline?
9:11
You know, like, I just couldn't figure it out.
9:13
Like, I knew that it was supposed to be, like,
9:16
You know, like the reveal and the magic trick,
9:19
you know, the surprise. You know, I knew it was
9:22
supposed to be all that, but I had trouble grasping
9:25
that concept. Were there any kind of concepts
9:28
with you, with your comedy writing that you were
9:30
just like, hold on, this is kind of, I'm getting
9:32
stumped here, I don't know why. Like, did you
9:34
have any roadblocks like that? Yeah, well, all
9:36
the time. And I think that's where people's style
9:39
comes into play, right? Because different...
9:41
The punchline is like the meat of the joke. So
9:45
it's like which direction are you gonna go in?
9:47
Where where does your personality take it like?
9:50
misdirect silly like So I tried out a couple
9:54
different ways my stuff is always really dark
9:57
when I write it so that's why a lot of my stuff
9:59
ends up on the whimsical side because then I
10:01
have to go sprinkle in like Sanity after the
10:05
facts. Yeah. Yeah, is it is it dark because that's
10:08
like what you're choosing to be or is that just
10:10
like Where you're at like your head's facing
10:12
you're like I'm gonna put the dark shit out on
10:14
the page kind of thing Oh, no, I'm just really
10:16
big into dark humor like things that I don't
10:18
even know where dark people will be like, oh
10:20
good god And then I like oh, okay. I gotta touch
10:22
that one up Yeah, like I remember I did like
10:24
a type 5 about like my childhood one time and
10:26
I just like I got a lot of laughs But I also
10:28
made a lot of people sad and it's like back to
10:30
the drawing board I don't know. I love shit like
10:36
that though. Like I don't know it kind of reminds
10:39
me of you ever seen um Debbie Downer on SNL.
10:43
Yeah, you know, like yeah, it's just for some
10:45
reason that kind of like that kind of humor I
10:47
love it. I don't know. I just kind of do like
10:50
it's it kind of reminds me of like like Eeyore
10:52
she's a vibe. Yeah, there's something like that,
10:55
you know, do you So like what is your new stuff?
11:00
Like are you writing some like new stuff now?
11:02
Like is it different or is it is it kind of just
11:04
going along with the the same concept because
11:07
that works for you or It's kind of going along
11:09
with the same thing I'm doing this new thing
11:12
where I'm trying to be vulnerable with how I
11:13
write because I write it I write a lot about
11:16
my experiences and Obviously we all write about
11:19
ourselves, but like from an arm's length And
11:23
I'm really trying to find the proper nuance to
11:25
like do deep dives while still maintaining the
11:28
integrity of the actual jokes in and of itself
11:30
Being like because comedy is very much like look
11:33
at me, right? Yeah, but it's like look at me
11:37
As far as I want you to see but I'm trying to
11:40
step into this space where it's like look at
11:41
me exactly how I am Yeah, and deal with it or
11:45
don't deal with it or buy tickets or don't buy
11:47
tickets or whatever it is, you know Yeah. Yeah.
11:50
How are you feeling about opening up like that
11:52
a little bit more comedically? It's kind of weird
11:55
still It's I I'm trying to approach it From a
12:04
standoffish way even like even though I sit down
12:06
I'm like, okay, I'm gonna write about myself
12:08
and I was like, all right I'm gonna write a joke
12:10
about being in the hospital and then it turns
12:11
into a joke about how black nurses like to change
12:15
their wigs a lot and it's Like is that from personal
12:19
experience? Yeah Yeah Yeah, I thought this lady
12:25
hated me. I thought this this there was this
12:27
nurse. She was so mean to me the whole time I
12:28
was in the hospital for 11 days and then I checked
12:31
out and I was so I was like man fuck nurses you
12:33
said supposed to be nice people. Then turns out
12:35
it was just one black lady who had a big wig
12:37
collection and didn't realize until the very
12:40
last day. So I don't know if that's... Did you
12:43
ever make friends with her? No, she was kind
12:47
of the worst. She was kind of the worst? There
12:49
were a couple versions of her that were okay.
12:52
Played me a Kendrick Lamar song on a smoke break.
12:55
Oh, okay, that's cool. So I think the short,
12:59
the cropped version was the one I was friends
13:01
with. I'm like, wow, I'm having a hard time keeping
13:05
up. Yeah, me too, me too. No, that's good though.
13:11
So you being in the hospital, did you walk away
13:14
with any kind of material to add to it, or is
13:16
that an area of your life where you're like,
13:18
I'm not going to write about that? I always tell
13:22
myself I'm going to write about it. And then
13:24
when I'm in there, I try to write about it. But
13:26
it's really hard to write comedy with crayons
13:28
or like, felt tip markers, so that sucks. But
13:34
I don't know, I kinda keep those things separately.
13:38
I did become a Mormon in the hospital. You became
13:41
a Mormon in the hospital? I'm a Mormon now, yeah.
13:44
Wow, thank you Joseph Smith. Yeah. They have
13:47
some cool beliefs, man. I mean, we do. Well,
13:51
what are some cool things about the Mormon beliefs
13:54
that you like? So like, in regular Christianity,
13:58
like, regular old Christianity, there's like
14:00
God, right? It's like God the Father. But Mormons
14:03
have God the Father, and they have God the Mother.
14:05
God the Mother and God the Father, they be fucking,
14:08
and that's how they created everything. They
14:10
be fucking. They do. They do, and that's how
14:13
they created everything. So we're literally,
14:15
we're gods trapped in these like weird experiences
14:20
of life. And then when we die, we get to be our,
14:24
we get to just be, go ahead and be a God again,
14:26
because we're the Sons and daughters of mother
14:29
and father God. Oh, you can have your own planet.
14:32
You could do can you Matt? Could you imagine
14:34
if Hitler was a Mormon? With that planet with
14:37
that of the bottom of falling out of that eventually
14:39
can you imagine accidentally landing on that
14:41
planet, you know, I Think some people would have
14:44
a better time than others. You guys you know,
14:46
you could add a little color in here, huh? So
14:50
you hit there's like no Nine but anyway, yeah,
14:54
sorry, but don't even get me started on that
14:56
guy Yeah, yeah, he's a real fucking the firecracker.
15:01
He's a doozy man. He's a doozy His dog was an
15:06
Aryan either Really? Yeah Yeah, black lab or
15:11
he well might as well. He had a German Shepherd.
15:13
They're black and brown Why did I not see that
15:16
and he named her blondie? A German Shepherd?
15:19
Yeah, a German Shepherd black and brown hair
15:21
named Blondie. Feel like that's how he saw himself
15:24
a little bit imagine if that's what you called
15:26
that nurse like oh I do but behind closed so
15:30
we can cut things out of this right cuz I can't
15:33
I'm just kidding. I'm not gonna say it guys.
15:36
He gave me the out. I said no I have too much
15:38
integrity. We don't see that I just like zoom
15:41
in and make it louder Like I don't know if we
15:45
should say this but we will no no, I'm just kidding.
15:48
We have too much integrity. We will not go there
15:51
Think actually like wait. I did this I did this
15:54
last time um wait Yeah, so if you if you want
16:00
to say a curse word oh no Yeah, right. Yeah,
16:06
I just found that out wait uh wait Can you start
16:10
the bleep now wait? Let's see hold on okay? Wait
16:14
all right there. We go. Let's go. Are you ready?
16:20
Fruit that I pick on the market whenever I go
16:24
town because my grandmother and she doesn't like
16:27
black people I think I like missed everywhere
16:32
I Have horrible at that we were working against
16:38
each other actively. I think yeah The world needs
16:41
to know my grandmother did not like black people.
16:44
Oh wow, but this is about Hope that sound effect
16:47
actually picked up. Can you imagine if it didn't
16:49
pick up and like a bunch of like us just like
16:52
I Think it's picking up. I hope it is. Yeah,
16:55
it would be funny either way. I think Either
16:58
way, it'll just be funny. Yeah. Yeah, like what
17:02
are they supposed to be doing right there? I
17:04
stand by what I said I had two wolves inside
17:08
me the whole time thinking, uh, are we going
17:13
to take the out? I think I've literally heard
17:15
that before. Like I heard that and then the,
17:18
uh, the, uh, what do you call it? That I forgot.
17:22
I think it's like this Japanese thing that says
17:23
that we'd wear different like masks or whatever.
17:26
And that like, you know, like you have a mask
17:28
that you wear in front of your friends and family,
17:30
and then you have a mass that you wear like by
17:32
yourself. And then the one that you show the
17:33
rest of the world. And I think about that too,
17:36
because I'm like, that accurately depicts who
17:38
I am, because who I am by myself is not the same
17:44
as when my girlfriend's around, and I'm just
17:47
a lot different and everything like that. And
17:50
do you find that your onstage persona is vastly
17:56
different from your actual persona? Yeah, I think
18:01
so. I mean, nah. I'm just quiet a lot like if
18:06
you if people see me out in the wild out and
18:08
about They see me perform and they expect me
18:10
to just be like a little over -the -top sometimes,
18:12
but I'm kind of just like quiet yeah, and then
18:15
it takes me like a good like 12 to 18 months
18:18
to warm up to you and then I can be like my Rambunctious
18:21
stage self with you, you know, but I love the
18:24
specificity. Yeah I was just talking about with
18:27
my friend Mars Martian the other day. I was like
18:30
I've known you almost three years now And so
18:34
uh, oh bless you. I was like I've known you almost
18:37
three years now So I feel like we can finally
18:39
like be friends like I can just be chill I can
18:41
be myself so it is myself, but it's just turned
18:44
out It's a fearless Lindsay because I don't care
18:46
what you have to say in that moment, but when
18:48
you're in real -life interactions There's always
18:50
some level of concern about what comes next,
18:52
you know, it's like when I'm up there I know
18:53
exactly what comes next because it's my it's
18:56
my whole thing, you know Excuse me. Sorry This
19:07
nose right here is like it's such a terrible
19:09
fucking French nose. Will you bleep those out?
19:17
I Really hope this is like actually recording.
19:19
I don't even know if it is. Let's see. I have
19:21
no idea what Added in post right just added.
19:26
Oh my god. That would be terrible adding like
19:29
a 50 beeps. Yeah. Oh Shit, dude. We said it a
19:33
lot But um, no, yeah, that's that's that's really
19:39
interesting because you know that I'm kind of
19:41
the same way But it's do you find that you're
19:44
you're sort of like open and shut with like different
19:47
people? Yeah, yeah, I find that way too like
19:51
Some people I'm very open with and some people
19:53
I'm like, I don't like you. It just, yeah, it
19:56
just takes me time. I just, my default is like,
19:59
it's not that I dislike people, but my default
20:01
is that I don't really know you. So why should
20:03
I? Yeah. Why should I invest my energy? Yeah.
20:08
You know? Sure. I don't know. How does like,
20:11
how does like the open Lindsay differ from the
20:15
closed Lindsay? Like what would somebody like
20:17
who is very close to you see differently? I love
20:22
doing crowd work. I'd have a couple jokes that
20:25
I've crafted just so that I could open it up
20:27
with some awkward crowd work. I like talking
20:30
to people and getting to know like, hey, what's
20:32
your name? What do you do? And I'm just very
20:33
open and confident. And then face to face, it's
20:37
not really that much like that. It's like, oh,
20:39
OK, yeah, cool. Good to meet you. And then I
20:42
space out. It's kind of a spacer. I think I disassociate
20:46
a lot. I get nervous and I just disassociate.
20:48
So if you see me looking unpleasant and I'm out
20:50
in public, just imagine I'm in an art studio
20:53
in an imaginary house that my therapist built
20:56
from the ground up for me. Hey, that's a great
20:59
place to be, though. It smells good in there.
21:03
In my mind, I'm still looking for my house. In
21:07
my mind, I'm still building. So it's really awesome
21:10
that you kind of have some kind of... foundational
21:14
area, safe space in your head, right? Yeah, I
21:17
think it's necessary, especially because, like,
21:22
people, since Kill Tony, and I'm very grateful
21:24
whenever anybody knows who the heck I am, like,
21:26
it's a huge ego boost, but it can also get a
21:31
little overwhelming for me sometimes. Like, if
21:34
I'm in my own head and people... will come up
21:39
and talk to me like they know me and then I'll
21:41
be racking my head for three days about it because
21:43
I'm like, I know that I'm supposed to know that
21:44
person. And it turns out I didn't know that person
21:46
at all. They just knew me because they saw me
21:48
on Kill Tony. And the whole time I'm thinking
21:50
like, hey, pal, great to see you again. Is it
21:53
again? Like, so it's just hard to keep track
21:56
of. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's odd I find that
21:59
with a lot of comedians. At like, at my job,
22:03
basically, like I find that with a lot of comedians.
22:04
If I meet any comedians and they knew, if they
22:07
didn't know who I am, I'm like, who the fuck
22:09
are you? Yeah, I'm sorry. Do we do we meet? You
22:13
know, it's like it is a very confusing thing,
22:16
you know. So but but you're killed, Tony. It
22:18
was pretty like it was pretty infamous on like
22:21
it was really put out there a lot. So I can only
22:24
imagine like a ton of people coming up to you
22:28
randomly, especially if you're just in your head,
22:30
you know. Yeah, a couple of the nurses at the
22:32
hospital, they waited until the day I discharged
22:36
to tell me that they knew who I was. and thought
22:38
it was funny. And I was like, oh, some extra
22:41
cigarette breaks would have been nice in there,
22:43
but thanks. Right, hey, fucker. Yeah. Oh my gosh,
22:48
that's nuts. Yeah. So aside from the Mages showcase
22:54
and your comedy writing, do you have any more
22:59
stuff that you're like, any more goals that you
23:01
have set in mind as far as comedy goes? Yeah,
23:05
I mean. The goal is always the same. I want,
23:08
you know, I want all the exposure. I want to
23:10
be able to tour eventually. I want to be able
23:12
to make my living doing that and not, you know,
23:16
moving people's bags around at a hotel. I'd like
23:17
to completely quit that. It's happening in stages.
23:20
Yeah. Um, I love, I love being on the big, the
23:24
big stages. People get nervous, like, oh, is
23:27
kill Tony scary? There's like hundreds of people
23:29
there or whatever. And it's like, no, that feels
23:32
the best. Oh, I just disconnected my. Oh, you
23:36
did? I got it. We're back. Hell yeah. Welcome
23:38
back. See, I got nervous. We got it. We're handling
23:41
things. We're good. That's it. Yeah, so you'd
23:45
rather be on like a bigger stage. Yeah, that's
23:48
my goal. I just want opportunities for my bookings.
23:51
If I have to keep proving myself, I will. Because
23:55
that seems to be what it takes. I just... I'm
23:58
having some good luck when it comes, especially,
24:01
like you said, to Mages, having a platform there,
24:03
and then just getting out there a little bit
24:06
more and just trying to be undeniably funny.
24:11
All the politics and aesthetics and bullshit
24:15
aside, that's just what I want. I just want to
24:17
get bookings because I'm funny and I want to
24:19
make people laugh. Yeah. Do you have a favorite
24:22
topic or subject that you like to approach when
24:25
you write? I write too many race jokes, but I
24:34
don't know if that's, it's probably just my best
24:37
friend's black, so I use that. Like I got a pass
24:40
like 15 years ago and I've just been running
24:41
with it ever since. Topical, I'm trying to think
24:51
about topical stuff. Let's see, I'm exploring
24:58
the mental hospital stuff in my mind. Yeah, so
25:03
just like dark mix with whimsy, things that hurt
25:04
me. I like to write about things that hurt my
25:06
feelings, because then they don't hurt my feelings
25:08
anymore. Yeah, yeah, I get it. Taking it out
25:11
and putting it right there in front of you and
25:13
just being like, no, fuck you, dude. Yeah, yeah,
25:16
exactly. I totally get it. I try to do that too.
25:19
I'm kind of learning how like... I don't know,
25:22
I'm kind of learning how detached from everything
25:25
I actually am because of that comedy writing.
25:28
As far as therapy goes, I think that every therapist,
25:32
and I only really did this once, every therapist
25:35
is like, all right, you need to keep a journal,
25:38
and we need to go back and read that journal
25:40
to see where you're at in your head space. And
25:42
I was like, no. But the second I'm thinking to
25:45
myself, I'm like, you know what, I'm gonna write
25:47
jokes. Oh, I've got like 20 notebooks for those.
25:50
You know, well, I started like kind of journaling
25:54
to write better jokes. That's a cool idea. Yeah.
25:59
And it's it's actually kind of working. It's
26:02
kind of weird. You know what I mean? And so I
26:04
kind of found that that's starting to like open
26:07
up, like where I'm starting to put myself out,
26:10
like on the page. And then I'm starting to realize
26:12
I'm like, oh, I'm really boring. No. I think
26:17
anybody can be boring when they're written about
26:19
in a boring way. Yeah. Yeah. I'm a terrible writer.
26:24
But do you have any areas of your writing that
26:28
you're like, man, I really want to improve upon
26:31
this if I can. I want longer bits. I'm not a
26:34
one -liner comic. Yeah. But I'm not a storyteller
26:38
by any means. I'd like to be able to have have
26:41
some longer bits. I'm good at making it cohesive
26:43
and smooth one into the next, but I know what
26:46
the jokes are start to finish. So I've been trying
26:49
to just write longer, just longer bits overall.
26:53
Oh, okay, cool. So more along the lines of story
26:57
kind of jokes and everything, huh? Yeah, just
26:59
leaning in that direction a little bit. Yeah,
27:01
do you have do you have like a 30 to 45 minute
27:03
like kind of Set that you're wanting to like
27:06
work towards or is it more just like I just want
27:08
a solid like five to ten right now Oh, no, I'm
27:11
working towards 30 now. Nice. I can I can do
27:15
it Like I told Tony Angecliffe like I can give
27:17
him and this was six months ago It's like I can
27:20
give you a really really phenomenal 20 or I can
27:23
give you a pretty good 30 35 Yeah, so you're
27:27
working on that phenomenal 30. Yeah. That dirty
27:29
30. Exactly. Hell yeah. That's pretty cool. That's
27:32
pretty cool. Do you have like an, like sort of
27:34
an outline kind of frame of mind? Like when you
27:38
approach like kind of longer sets like that or?
27:41
The longest set I've ever done was 20. And then
27:44
I just kind of felt out the crowd and just flowed
27:46
with it. Like I know what my bits are and then
27:48
I was just. If I try to get too structured, if
27:51
I sit down and, like, write everything I want
27:53
to do and try to order it, then it makes me go
27:55
in my own head and I fuck it up. But if I'm just
27:59
like, all right, here's what I've been working
28:01
on lately, and that's in the back of my mind,
28:02
then I kind of just flow with it because that
28:04
helps me gauge the room a little bit better,
28:06
too, I think, instead of going up there with
28:08
such a rigid idea of what I want to do. It's
28:10
like, now, what do you fucks want to hear? Try
28:13
to be prepared for that. Yeah, I love it when...
28:17
when you can get a good idea about who you're
28:22
performing in front of. You know what I mean?
28:25
Do you have a pretty good turnout at Mages when
28:29
a lot of comics come? It seemed like you did
28:31
when I was there. Yeah, we're getting a lot of
28:33
comics for the open mic. We're still working
28:35
on our crowd for that. We got a couple people
28:36
every week. But the crowd turnout for the showcase
28:39
was pretty good. I think we had about 20 people
28:42
show up. It's not a very huge space, so that
28:44
was pretty good. And intimate feeling. But we
28:48
can pack 120 chairs in there, so that's my goal,
28:50
eventually, is to just word -of -mouth marketing
28:53
and just keep going on the street and marketing.
28:57
I went to a strip club for the first time, marketing
28:59
that show, that showcase. Oh, really? Which one?
29:02
The Yellow Rose. I tried to see if they'd let
29:05
me put up a flyer. They didn't. But I got to
29:07
see some titties, so... I feel like you do things
29:12
to, like, that just create humor. Yeah, I mean
29:17
yeah think outside the box, right? Yeah, that's
29:20
I love that You're like, yeah, I need to go you
29:24
go pass out flyers. Oh, there's a strip club.
29:27
Yeah, I love that. You know loves comedy lonely
29:30
men Possibly women with titties who want to be
29:33
around where the lonely men go it seemed like
29:35
a win -win They didn't they want they were really
29:37
nice. They're very sweet. Yeah No. Really nice,
29:41
really sweet, but absolutely not that kind of
29:43
thing. No flyers. No flyers. I might try again
29:46
this time because Aya is headlining and she's
29:48
a woman. So it's like, well, there's a woman
29:49
on the flyer. It's not like Munford, like this
29:51
big burly dude. So maybe. But she's dressed honestly,
29:55
so I don't know how, it might be a hard no again,
29:58
but I'll try. I mean, she's hilarious, you know?
30:01
Yeah, but they don't know that at the Titty Bar.
30:02
They don't know that at the Titty Bar. I apologize.
30:06
I told them not to cut anything out of this.
30:08
I'm not making any insinuations. They might be
30:12
a little bit more inclusive when it comes to
30:15
a differently gendered show. Aya and myself...
30:20
had a very short conversation at the creek because
30:26
she was asking me about being positive, because
30:30
I'm just a kooky positive kind of feller. And
30:35
so, I kind of forgot how the conversation went,
30:39
but basically she was asking me about that. And
30:42
essentially she was saying that she felt as if
30:44
she was more of like a realist in some ways.
30:47
And me, I'm more I don't know. I kind of live
30:53
in a fantasy world. Yeah, same. You know what
30:56
I mean? Same. I'm just kind of like, everything's
30:58
good. Everything's great all the time. I don't
31:02
like hearing about the bad shit. I don't want
31:05
to even be... I don't want that entering my life,
31:07
because I know that I fully, fully absorb that
31:10
kind of thing. I think it's a trauma response.
31:13
Interesting. What's your blood type? Oh negative,
31:16
I think haha. There you go. See I'm be positive
31:19
Very misanthropic It's got to be something to
31:24
that I Love that so much That's what it is Be
31:36
positive. Yeah, see I love that. Is it please
31:40
is that one of your bits? No, but should it be?
31:44
Talking oh great. I love that minds be positive.
31:49
So that's what you should do I love that play
31:52
around with it now Yeah, that's so good. That's
31:56
so good. Yeah, and that's exactly on the realm
31:59
of what we're talking about. I'm like tearing
32:01
up. I love that. That is so funny. Thank you.
32:05
I'm here as long as you'll have me. Yeah. I love
32:09
that kind of stuff. I love it when people do
32:11
that kind of thing, like when they like have
32:12
play on words or like whether they play with
32:14
themselves. Wait. His room's a little small.
32:21
I meant like, you know, a self -deprecating kind
32:23
of humor. You know what I mean? Like, that's
32:25
kind of, that's totally what I meant. You know,
32:27
but I love it when people are able to, like,
32:30
to do those kind of things, you know? Like, do
32:32
you have a kind of, like, a favorite sort of,
32:34
like, humor that you just thoroughly enjoy? Self
32:37
-deprecation. Yeah. I love it. I'm always going
32:40
to beat you to the punch, you know? So I think
32:42
it'd be really good in a roast battle because
32:44
you can't hurt it. It's physically impossible
32:46
to hurt my feelings. Or like how bad it would
32:48
be in the roast battle if they roasted you and
32:50
then you roasted you. Whoa, that's good. That's
32:55
really good. You're just like agreed with them.
32:56
You're like, you're right. Yeah. I called somebody
32:59
out for a roast battle. I don't think he wants
33:02
to roast battle me probably because like obviously
33:05
he's really good. So he'll probably win. But
33:07
there's a good chance that I will win also because
33:09
I'm insane. I asked Frank Caesar if he wanted
33:13
to roast battle me. Oh, yeah. At the at the major
33:16
show. And so Michael Ridley, if you're watching
33:19
this, I put the line in the water and, I don't
33:24
know, there's some chum or something. Yeah, take
33:26
them down. It's chumming up. I don't know. Somebody's,
33:29
I think that'd just be really fun. Just get them.
33:31
Yeah. Just be like, fuck them off. I want a creative,
33:34
I want a creative roast immersive experience.
33:37
Yeah. Have you ever done a roast before? I've
33:40
done three roasts, three roast battles, one flirt
33:43
battle, and I've won all of them, but I haven't
33:45
done the roast battle Austin yet. A flirt battle?
33:48
Yeah. I've never even heard of that. What is
33:50
that? Celia Contreras put that together. It was
33:52
a Valentine show. Yeah. And essentially it was
33:55
just like sexual harassment with a bow on top.
34:00
Oh, man. Just like, I won. Wow. You got him,
34:04
huh? Yeah. You should mix up the two, like a
34:07
flirt and a roast and just like, just fucking
34:09
hit them. Yeah. Make it real weird for everyone.
34:13
Just make it like, what the fuck is this? Awkward
34:16
laughter still laughter. Yeah. Oh, I love it.
34:19
I really do any kind of anything that makes you
34:22
like also like like that, you know, that feeling
34:24
of just being like, huh? Yeah, all the time.
34:28
Oh, my God. That's why I love the office. Yeah.
34:31
Is it because there's just so much of that? Oh,
34:34
God. Yeah. I don't know what it is. That's how
34:36
I feel in my head all the time. Every time I
34:38
say something in public that's not on stage,
34:40
that's how I'm going in my head. Yeah, do you
34:46
have like a thing like that people do publicly
34:49
that make you feel like more awkward? You know,
34:52
like, OK, so for example, for me, like, I really
34:55
I will run out of a line. if anybody is, like,
35:00
behind me in line and they just look like they're
35:03
impatiently waiting. Oh, yeah. You know what
35:06
I mean? Like, I have, like, weird things like
35:07
that. Like, I also, like, if I'm all... I just
35:10
don't like people being behind me for any reason
35:12
whatsoever. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's
35:14
like, even if I am in a line, I'm just uneasy,
35:16
you know? Yeah. That's like a back to the wall.
35:18
That's like a mafia and military thing, right?
35:21
I think so. Yeah. Always needing your egress.
35:24
Yeah. You know? Yeah. It's like, you know, you
35:26
just always got to know your way out. You know,
35:29
yeah, I don't like when people get too close
35:30
to me Like if I don't know them like and it kind
35:34
of makes me look like an a -hole sometimes even
35:35
though I don't mean to be like I was talking
35:37
again and I'll circle back a little call back
35:39
I was talking to Mars at on Monday night and
35:41
some guy comes up behind us like so close to
35:43
us and it's like Crouched down behind us on the
35:45
stage and he's just talking talking talking and
35:48
talking to Trey I look over at Mars. I'm like,
35:50
who the fuck is this guy? It's like do we know
35:52
him? And I was like, no, I'm sorry. I didn't
35:55
mean it like that. It's been like you're really
35:56
close to me I know I know comics. Holy fuck.
36:01
They love to get like right the fuck here I know
36:06
like whenever I see him at the creek or something
36:08
like that. They will just get right here. What's
36:10
up, dude? How's it going? I was like, bro, like
36:13
I smell you deodorant or lack thereof if the
36:16
me too movement hadn't died man, I'd be What
36:21
is that me is that you oh That's weird I'm sorry.
36:27
No, no, it's OK. Let's see. That's strange. Did
36:30
I do something? Wait. Hello? Tess, it's off now.
36:34
It's good? No, it's off. It's completely off.
36:36
But I don't need it. Yeah, OK. Yeah, we can just
36:39
roll without it if you want. Yeah, I'll just
36:40
pretend. That's so weird. I'll have to get more
36:45
different headphones. Oh, wait. Here, let me
36:47
turn this on. There we go. So you have the me
36:52
to movement the me to movement was still a thing
36:55
I would be in my bread and butter right now because
36:58
Everybody especially comics for some reason a
37:01
lot of comics are really short, right? Yeah,
37:03
everybody's like tit level with me So they get
37:05
really close to talk to me and they're like practically
37:08
motorboating me. I would be so much further ahead
37:11
in life if I could be like Yeah, me too Hey!
37:20
Your eye level. I've never once thought about
37:23
karate chopping you. Yeah, yeah. There are a
37:26
lot of short people. Lots of short people. Yeah,
37:29
a lot of short people. Is your family, they're
37:32
all tall or is it like you're just, you happen
37:34
to be a tall one? Where Machote's at. My mom
37:38
is five three. I have two sisters. They're both
37:42
in the mid fives, they're very small. My great
37:44
grandfather was six foot eight. So it kind of
37:47
just trickled down a couple generations right
37:50
into me. And then, yeah, or I got switched at
37:52
birth, which is if it wasn't for like the illness,
37:56
I think that would be possible. Right. Right.
38:00
Oh, man, I was just in the wrong basket. Well,
38:03
good news is you get high. Bad news is you're
38:05
probably going to die of cancer. What a day Well,
38:11
I am off my meds so you can never really tell
38:13
I usually tell people I'm usually funnier when
38:15
I'm off my meds. Yeah I'm like in small doses
38:19
in small doses. That is a thing Yeah, so do you
38:24
do you like find that you quickly pull yourself
38:26
out of like like lives pretty much like I do
38:31
that sometimes like when I feel like people like
38:35
I feel like maybe I'm being a bit much for people
38:39
so then I will be like Let me take a break and
38:42
I'll pull out. I wish I had that skill Yeah,
38:45
if it's one of those days, it's one of those
38:46
days. I just buckle up I go for the ride. Yeah.
38:49
Yeah, you just like fucking I'm giving everything
38:52
I got yeah Yeah, I mean I try I try not to be
38:55
too weird, but it happens. Yeah Some people like
38:59
it some people don't but I think I'm doing alright.
39:01
Yeah, I get it though I get it because I'm I've
39:03
always been like the same the same way. Like,
39:06
you know, like I've always been like, like we
39:08
even as a kid, like I was taking like Ritalin,
39:11
you know, and shit like that. Like, so I've always
39:13
been like hyperactive, crazy, like outgoing,
39:16
you know, and like, and a lot of people can only
39:20
take that in small doses. Yeah, I'm not very
39:22
hyper. I think I'm pretty I have pretty chill
39:24
energy for I have chill, chaotic energy for the
39:27
most part. Yeah, yeah. I wish I could be chill.
39:31
So but oh, yeah, I think we're talking about
39:34
Being tall Hmm. Yeah, right and then and then
39:39
I said tends to come up. Yeah, but Yeah, exactly.
39:45
Yeah. No, I uh Yeah, my family and my family.
39:47
I'm like one of the the tall ones too It's like
39:50
me and my brother and then everybody else is
39:52
small. Yeah, you know, and I don't know why I
39:54
don't know why You know, it's weird how that
39:56
works out. Yeah, every family just needs somebody
39:59
to get stuff from the top shelves That's true.
40:02
Yeah Maybe that's a reason to believe in God.
40:06
My poor mother would have broken her neck on
40:09
a chair if it wasn't for me. I got it, mother.
40:13
There you go. It's like, why was the mayonnaise
40:14
all the way up there? I don't know. Well, because
40:16
I put it there because I like to feel needed.
40:19
Yeah. I just, I just, inconvenient to your life,
40:22
so you would need me. I just want you to want
40:24
me, mom. Will you look at me now? She's like,
40:26
that's a cheap trick. Yeah. Yeah, so are you.
40:30
That's why I was born. Wait, wait, wait, do I
40:35
have that? I think I do have that, actually.
40:38
Wait, let me see. No, no, that's a, wait. Wait,
40:43
wait, I don't know. I'm really glad my mom doesn't
40:46
know how to use the internet. Yeah, yeah, she
40:51
doesn't know how to use the internet. No, I think
40:52
she'd like to think she is, but she's not going
40:54
to find this podcast. I'm not going to send that
40:56
clip to her or anything. So I can literally say
40:59
whatever I want. This is your world. You could
41:02
say whatever you want. Yeah. So speaking of which,
41:07
mom, if you're watching what you're not, because
41:10
I'm not going to send you this. Yeah. Yeah. We
41:12
don't want your mom to see that. No. Yeah. Does
41:15
she watch any of your comedy stuff? Sometimes
41:19
I think so. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. She she uh My mom
41:25
doesn't think I'm very funny. Oh, no. No, she
41:28
thinks I should talk about pleasant things more
41:31
Like what would be what would be like her style
41:34
of humor? Oh, I don't know one time she like
41:37
One time she like cut a hole out of a wall We
41:41
were living in Palm Springs a wall in the living
41:43
room and she was crawling around inside the wall
41:45
because she thought that there were bugs there
41:46
From the government listening to us And I think
41:49
she loves telling that story. She thinks that's
41:51
hilarious. So I think if I just start taking
41:53
meth, then we'll probably be more on the same
41:57
page. Oh, yeah. OK. Yeah, well, yeah, it does.
42:01
It does work like that, I guess, every now and
42:04
again. Sometimes sometimes they are. Yeah. You
42:06
know, I was a kid. How am I? But they could have.
42:10
Yeah, I mean, that's yeah, that sounds that sounds
42:13
pretty intense. I've had I've had like, you know,
42:15
crazy things like growing up like that. But luckily,
42:17
my mom You know, she just worked a lot. That
42:20
was her thing. You know what I mean? Workaholic.
42:23
Yeah, workaholic kind of deal. So she just, she
42:26
worked a lot. You know, there were a bunch of
42:28
us. How many siblings do you have? I have two
42:30
sisters. Two sisters? Yeah. I actually have a
42:32
half brother who I don't even mention many more
42:35
though, because after the Kill Tony thing, after
42:38
he saw me shake Joe Rogan's hand, after that
42:40
last appearance, he called me and said that I
42:42
was no longer welcome in his life. Just for shaking
42:46
Joe Rogan's hand. Yeah for being a part of He's
42:50
like a Ultra his he has blue hair my brother.
42:53
Okay. Yeah, so wait. What are they? They call
42:57
it like liberal. He's very liberal He's super
42:59
duper duper liberal and he thinks I should just
43:02
be disgusted with everything that's happening
43:04
everywhere And it's like I'm just trying to make
43:07
my dreams happen Yeah, not you know never really
43:10
gave that much of a shit about a lot of stuff
43:13
mm -hmm Maybe not a good or a bad way, but yeah,
43:15
I have a half brother out there in the world.
43:19
Oh, okay. Oh, wow. Well, I'm sorry about that.
43:22
That sucks. It's funny. Yeah, that's crazy. We
43:27
do not have to get into it at all because, but
43:30
I'm just curious because I'm not very political
43:34
at all. I don't really know. Anything really
43:37
about politics? I really don't have an opinion.
43:39
Are you a political kind of person? I'm not very
43:42
political, but I'm also very lazy. So if Mumdani
43:45
could just take over the country and start giving
43:47
me a socialist allowance, that's whatever I want
43:50
to do. You see, I don't even know what the fuck
43:54
that means. I feel like I'm so far behind on
43:56
anything, you know, politically. I feel like
43:59
I've been off the earth for like a while. Yeah,
44:01
I just want some welfare and I'll be OK. Right.
44:04
And you can do what you want, say what you want,
44:06
I don't care. Welfare. Yeah, just give me some
44:09
money, you know? Yeah, just something. Yeah,
44:11
just something. Give me some kind of allowance.
44:14
Fuck, I'll even go on WIC. Yeah. Yeah, I will.
44:18
I think you can get like milk and stuff, crackers.
44:21
Milk and crackers? Yeah. For us crackers, you
44:24
know? Yep. They say it's bread and water, but
44:27
WIC is milk and crackers. Yeah, you know, I don't
44:31
even know. To be honest with you, this is why
44:34
I have a problem talking about myself, because
44:36
I'm like, what am I? Dear God, what am I? Why
44:42
am I? What is this about? Yeah, I don't know.
44:47
I don't align myself really with anything. I
44:52
like when things make me laugh, and that happens
44:55
on both sides. I also... I don't know. I like
45:00
when things are exciting. So yeah. Could there
45:02
be a civil war? Maybe while I fight in it? No,
45:05
definitely not. But I'll watch. Yeah. Like from
45:09
like you ever seen the Patriot, you know, like
45:13
from the porch, just like watching a war going
45:15
on like, wow, this is not very good now. I'll
45:19
have my my discharge paperwork from the hospital
45:21
with me. Like you see, I'm not qualified to hold
45:23
this musket. I can't be holding this damn musket.
45:28
Why do y 'all have muskets in the forest place?
45:31
Well, because we live in the south, so I imagine.
45:33
Come here, you son of a bitch! Get back here.
45:37
Just a bunch of people with muskets on lime scooters.
45:42
Yeah, on lime scooters. Pew, pew, pew! You know
45:46
when they fall off and shit? I remember watching
45:48
The Revenant, and Leonardo DiCaprio poured the
45:53
black powder in his mouth. And then he went like,
45:57
into the, like he dumped it into the musket.
46:00
And I was like, is that how they did that? It's
46:04
dedication. I'm like, why, why wouldn't you just
46:06
pour it in the thing? I don't know. Like, I don't
46:08
know. I'm not a musket guy. I'm not a big musket
46:11
guy. He just wanted to taste. He just wanted.
46:13
Could I? Could I? Is it getting better? You know,
46:16
technically I could do this. Halfway there you're
46:20
halfway there Jim. Yeah, it tastes like shit.
46:22
But yeah, that's good Is this the last thing
46:26
I want to taste? Yeah, he accidentally shoots
46:30
himself Yeah, he's like his eyeballs fly out,
46:33
you know, whoa. I hope it's a 3d movie Did you
46:37
imagine? It's like dude fucking and then he has
46:40
to like pack his eye again. Like oh damn it.
46:42
Okay Are we writing a movie right now? I feel
46:45
like this should be a treatment I don't even
46:47
know where we're going, but I'm just I'm just
46:49
going with the flow. It's great That's what we
46:51
write in a movie. Yeah. Yeah, I met this guy
46:54
named Andrew. He's the one who converted me to
46:56
Mormonism actually Yeah, and he writes horror
46:58
screenplays Really? Yeah for who like any kind
47:02
of studio or anything like independently and
47:04
then he sends him around like he has an agent
47:05
and stuff I'm gonna shop this idea with him later
47:08
do that. Yeah, Johnny musket eyes Johnny musket
47:11
eyes Just like dude, he's gonna pack his eyes
47:15
back in he's like, I just fucking fired my eyes
47:17
out I'll see if we're on to something. Yeah.
47:20
Yeah, let him tell you let him be like, well,
47:23
you know, this is concept It's already been explored
47:26
heavily watch he steals our idea and wins an
47:28
Oscar That's son of a bitch. He'd never Mormons
47:32
are too nice. He'd never do that. I'm like, all
47:34
right, that's it. I'm gonna fucking get this
47:36
Where's my musket at? All right. Where the fuck
47:38
is my musket, dude? You're filling up your mouth
47:41
already. Where's my musket in my busket, dude?
47:45
You about to busket son, and I'm gonna get you
47:48
bro God damn. Yeah, I could I could see that
47:51
shit not happening anytime soon But that would
47:54
be kind of cool to have a movie like that Yeah,
47:57
do you have a favorite comedian? Maria Bamford
47:59
oh Gosh, she's amazing since I was a kid. I was
48:03
itty -bitty when I saw her yeah on Comedy Central
48:06
on a Friday night, and I was like It was the
48:09
coolest thing I'd ever seen in my whole entire
48:11
life and to this day like that's somebody recently
48:14
asked me like if I could be anybody For a baseball
48:18
game in the afternoon and just pick their brains
48:20
like who would it be and she was my answer Absolutely.
48:23
Yeah, didn't she just come here or isn't she
48:26
coming here um? She was at, didn't do Moon Tower,
48:31
I think, she did Cap City. I still have not seen
48:35
her live. Really? Yeah, isn't that a travesty?
48:38
Yeah, no, I haven't either. You know, but I do,
48:42
I do love her. She's the first time, I think
48:46
Maria Bamford was like the first time that I
48:50
saw a comedian who like shape shifted in front
48:55
of my eyes. Yeah. Like I know you have your Jim
48:58
Carries, you know, like Robin Williams, you know,
49:02
like like Pablo Francisco or somebody who's just
49:04
like extremely goofy and just very animated like
49:07
Dane Cook, but they're always themselves. They're
49:11
just in that exaggerated animated version of
49:14
that. But Maria Bamford can turn into somebody
49:18
else entirely. Yeah, totally. Yeah, she's incredible.
49:22
Yeah, it's wonderful. I think it comes from having
49:24
like a fractured sense of self. You can like
49:26
tap into other stuff easily. Yeah. And I and
49:30
when I was like just starting out comedy, like
49:32
I would I experimented with my own version of
49:35
that, like my characters. There was a while where
49:38
I purposely sounded really nervous just to see
49:40
how it would work out. Yeah. And I kind of felt
49:42
derivative. So I didn't. So I'm just kind of
49:44
myself. But she she can do that while still maintaining
49:48
being her. like a true, authentic artist and...
49:52
Yeah, it's really wild. It's so cool, dude. Yeah,
49:55
my favorite character that she does is that,
49:57
just that corporate bitch persona. Yeah, right.
50:03
Just that, then, hi, how are you doing? You know,
50:06
that kind of thing with the way, you know, obviously
50:07
the way that she does it. And it's like magic
50:11
watching her do that. You know, there's a movie
50:14
coming out. There's a movie? She has a movie
50:17
coming out? Yeah, about her about what's it called?
50:21
And why don't I know about this? It's I think
50:23
it's done by Judd Apatow. I think let's see.
50:28
It is I forget the name of it, but it's like
50:31
I wish I had the the way to be like, pull it
50:36
up, Jamie, you know. See, my knowledge is so
50:40
dumb, like I don't know about this movie coming
50:43
out, but I know that she was never allowed to
50:45
use soap growing up because her dad's a dermatologist.
50:48
Wow all the useless information. Thank you for
50:51
enlightening me on good stuff. Oh, you're actually
50:53
you're actually right I mean, I'm not saying
50:57
you wouldn't be but like but just to vindicate
50:59
what you're saying It's called paralyzed by hope
51:03
the Maria Bamford story and this is what pulled
51:05
up when I googled it This is paralyzed by hope
51:08
the mere man for story is a 26 documentary film
51:11
co -directed by Judd Apatow and then explores
51:14
Maria Bamford's life career and mental health
51:16
struggles, including OCD, anxiety, and suicidal
51:20
ideation, which she transforms into material
51:23
for her unique and honest comedy. So that's going
51:26
to be coming out, I don't know, sometime, I don't
51:31
know, sometime this year. But I'll send you the
51:35
thing, but Paralyzed by Hope. Well, I cannot
51:37
wait. Yeah, I'm very excited to see that. Yeah,
51:42
I hope it's not already out. Like the way that
51:44
I am is like movies will be out and I'm like,
51:46
oh dude, did you know Dune 2 is coming out? I
51:50
hope it is out. I want to watch it today. It
51:52
is. I think it's weird. You're reading that synopsis
51:56
and it's like, so I saw this person performing
51:58
when I was a little kid and it resonated with
52:00
me like deeply to where that's when I was like,
52:02
okay, this is what I want to do when I grow up.
52:04
And then I grow up to be a very similar, a person
52:07
who has experienced very similar struggles. And
52:10
it's like, that's so weird, right? Like, are
52:12
we out of the womb crazy? Or like, when does
52:14
it develop? Because it's very simpatico my whole
52:18
life apparently. Yeah, yeah. Humor for me has
52:22
always been a huge, like a huge like just letting
52:28
it out kind of thing. I feel bad because a lot
52:33
of times like I've joked during Seemingly inappropriate
52:36
times and things like that and it's like it's
52:38
not that I didn't mean any kind of disrespect
52:40
It's just that it's sort of like it's just where
52:43
my mind goes Yeah, you know, are you kind of
52:46
like that too? like is it a humor as a coping
52:48
mechanism or is it like more like humor as Like
52:52
sort of like ironing out the wrinkles kind of
52:54
deal. I don't ever purposely like try to be funny
53:01
I kind of just open my mouth and have very little
53:06
filter. And then most of the time it works and
53:09
sometimes it doesn't. But yeah, I think it's
53:12
coping. I think it's like a self -soothe kind
53:14
of deal. Self -soothe kind of thing. Yeah, sure.
53:19
I could see that too. Just getting that reaction,
53:22
you know? Right. Like whether it's intentional
53:25
or not like some people I know some great crafts
53:28
like some comics are on a different level crazy
53:31
Like they'll craft a conversation just to be
53:33
able to say what they want to say. That's not
53:35
me But boy do I sure feel vindicated when I can
53:37
get one in there, you know, sure they'll craft
53:40
a conversation. Mm -hmm What the hell you never
53:44
noticed that? Well, maybe what does that look
53:48
like like leading a conversation? For you to
53:51
get to a particular topic or so they can say
53:53
the funny thing that they wanted to say It's
53:56
like not active listening. Oh, I see Yeah, yeah,
54:01
I think I think so and I think you can like you
54:05
can kind of see that they're doing that Mm -hmm.
54:08
Sometimes yeah, and like yeah, I think so I just
54:13
yeah never put a word to that. Mm -hmm Yeah,
54:16
because you can kind of see it, especially around
54:19
a lot of comics. You're just like, OK, I know
54:22
what you're doing. It makes you not want to talk
54:24
anymore. It happens a lot. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah,
54:29
that does. That does happen quite a bit, doesn't
54:31
it? It has to be organic. It has to be organic.
54:35
Yeah. And then it's like, nobody wants to see
54:38
you do magic. Everybody else is just trying to
54:40
do magic, too. Yeah. You know what I mean? It's
54:43
like, it's one thing to like work on things,
54:45
but it's like, you know, let's understand that
54:47
we're working on things. We're all magical. And
54:50
then I'll say things. And then after the fact,
54:52
I'm like, wait, that should have been funny,
54:53
but they just cringed. What did I do? So then
54:55
I'll reassess after the fact. Oh, yeah, yeah.
54:57
I do that to you sometimes. If I say something
55:01
that I think is funny to like, I guess, like
55:04
a normal person, you know, and they don't laugh,
55:07
that's when I'm like, what the fuck did I do
55:09
wrong? Yeah, yeah. Like, where did I go wrong?
55:13
And then I implode. I'm one of those, like, are
55:15
they mad at me? Are they mad at me? Yeah. You
55:19
know, I'm one of those people. I default to everyone
55:21
is mad at me all the time, so. OK, so you do
55:25
that too. Oh, dude, yeah. Yeah, I do that very
55:28
heavily. Yeah. And I feel bad for my girlfriend,
55:31
because she's like the victim of it entirely.
55:33
You know, because I just, you know, she'll be
55:36
like, hey, babe, I made you some sandwiches for
55:38
work. And I'm like, oh, thank you, sweetie. Are
55:40
you mad at me? Well, at least you're saying it
55:43
like that. Yeah. Why are you mad at me? She's
55:46
like, I'm not fucking mad at you. Sometimes I'm
55:49
an asshole just because I assume that you're
55:51
mad at me. And you're not even mad at me, so
55:52
I'm just being a dick for no reason. Got like
55:57
split on people because they didn't answer my
55:59
call. And it turns out like their dog was dying.
56:01
And I'm like, so I guess you're just not. You're
56:03
not a figure in my life anymore. Oh my God. Yeah,
56:06
I've done that so much too. Like we're like,
56:08
they didn't talk to you for four hours. And next
56:11
thing you know, you're like completely imploding.
56:15
Yeah. Yeah. I've done that so many fucking times.
56:19
And then the second that they talk to you, you
56:21
forgive them. Yeah. Well, cause it's like, Oh
56:24
yeah. Oh, I'm crazy. I forgot. Yeah. Yeah. The
56:28
second you talk to them, you're like, Oh, I'm
56:31
so happy to hear from you. Don't read your texts.
56:35
Hey, what's up? You left me on read for 37 minutes,
56:38
but I'm not counting. Yeah, I'm not like emotionally
56:43
fucked right now because of that hiatus that
56:46
we just went on. I know, right? I thought you
56:48
were my best friend, but... Right, we were supposed
56:51
to be cool together. Hey listen, I thought we
56:53
got married. I thought that was a thing, but
56:55
like I guess... You know, you didn't call me.
56:57
It took you a couple hours. So what's her name,
57:00
right? Yeah. What is OK, so so I feel like I
57:06
feel like people have gotten to know you, like,
57:08
you know, and kind of how you are a little bit
57:10
more like in in this whole thing. But what is
57:13
something that like, you know, you're comfortable
57:15
with saying that you think that people would
57:17
be surprised to know about you? I used to live
57:22
a very, very parallel life to pro wrestling.
57:26
a parallel life to pro wrestling. Please go on.
57:31
So I loved wrestling and I was actually, I wanted
57:34
to be a wrestler and I was like learning moves
57:36
and I was like doing like a little bit of training
57:38
and stuff and I was dating this wrestler who
57:40
worked for Diamond Dallas Page. So all of a sudden,
57:43
and we dated for a few years, so then all of
57:45
a sudden I'm like in this world where like...
57:47
I like know all these like old WWF guys and like
57:53
WCW guys and like Diamond Dallas Page grabbed
57:56
my ass three times at a barbecue like right in
57:59
front of the guy I was dating Yeah, and used
58:01
to say things to me like oh if you just lost
58:02
70 more pounds, you know, you'd be so hot One
58:05
time I shaved Scott Hall's shoulders. He would
58:08
say that to you? Yeah, he said that to me. What
58:10
the fuck? Yeah, don't gloss over the fact that
58:12
I shaved Scott Hall's shoulders Excuse my razor
58:16
Ramon because he was my neighbor. What the hell?
58:19
Yeah, it's a So you were just straight up like
58:23
in the pro wrestling like circuit. Yeah, I wasn't
58:26
well I mean, I just knew a lot of those guys.
58:27
I have like lots of cool pictures Been to like
58:32
People's houses that it's like blows my mind
58:35
like Cody Rhodes was like the WW champion. I
58:38
don't watch anymore I don't know. Is he still
58:39
the champ? Oh, I don't know. Yeah. Anyway, like
58:42
I don't know Been to his house, like... I'm not
58:45
really a sports guy. It's weird to... You've
58:49
been at Cody Rhodes' house? Yeah. I think I know
58:51
who he is, because isn't he that guy that's playing
58:53
in the new Street Fighter movie, the dude with
58:55
the blonde hair? Yeah. Okay, yeah, that's how
58:57
I know who he is, because I was like, oh, dude,
58:59
I fucking love Street Fighter. But, oh, that
59:02
is fucking nuts. I could have been a great powerhouse
59:05
wrestler, but I herniated four discs in my back.
59:08
You herniated four discs in your back. How did
59:11
you do that? If you feel like getting into it,
59:15
I don't want to get in trouble for HIPAA. I really
59:17
wanted to learn how to roller skate. That was
59:18
like another childhood dream of mine is I wanted
59:20
to like be a roller skater because it's like
59:22
so graceful and cool and you just, ah, you know.
59:24
Absolutely. And I just fell a bunch. And so I
59:27
was trying to learn how to play roller derby.
59:28
But instead, I just fell on roller skates a bunch
59:30
until I herniated all my discs and I couldn't
59:33
wrestle or roller skate. And I was like, oh,
59:35
damn. I love it until I herniated all of my discs.
59:41
I love that. So I herniated every single disc,
59:45
every disc in my back. So two dreams died in
59:48
one. Kerplop You're like you're like in a hospital
59:53
bed like full body cast with the skates still
59:56
on I Would have been so good, dude, I would yeah
1:00:02
you herniated every disc that you have And so
1:00:05
there's no roller derby for you in a different
1:00:08
reality I am a graceful roller skater that just
1:00:11
like takes bitches out Not this one. Yeah, you're
1:00:15
like ballerina skate like into everybody like
1:00:17
fuck you That was my dream. To be a roller derby,
1:00:21
like, just fucking badass. Yeah. Hell yeah. Yeah.
1:00:25
Damn, that's awesome. I even had a team name.
1:00:27
Even though, like, I could barely stand up on
1:00:28
my skates, they gave me a team name. It's Thrill
1:00:30
House. You remember that? You remember that episode
1:00:33
of Simpsons where Milhouse was playing the game
1:00:36
and his high score name is Thrill House? No,
1:00:38
I don't. But that's fucking awesome. Yeah. I
1:00:41
have a tattoo. Milhouse throw house my role my
1:00:45
roller derby name your roller derby name. That
1:00:47
is awesome I think roller derby is like the only
1:00:50
sport that like women do that. I was just like
1:00:53
dude. I wish there was a men's league in that
1:00:55
Yeah, would they use inline skates or would they
1:00:58
use regular skates though? Cuz I always thought
1:00:59
it was kind of gay looking when the refs would
1:01:01
wear regular skates The two and two like they're
1:01:05
wearing the quads. Yeah Yeah, I don't know. I
1:01:08
used to rollerblade when I was younger You know,
1:01:10
like that was like my thing. Do you remember
1:01:12
that movie, the rollerblading movie? Yeah. On
1:01:15
Disney Channel. Brink. Brink. Let's blade. Let's
1:01:18
blade. They settle all their scores. Oh, that's
1:01:21
so cool. Yeah. On the ramp. Yeah. You know. Yeah.
1:01:25
I used to love that fucking movie like so bad.
1:01:28
I used to like want to be like the bad kid. But
1:01:31
I realized I was like, I'm not. I'm just not
1:01:34
a bad guy, you know? I'm way too fucking nice
1:01:38
all the time. You were the good kid all along.
1:01:40
It sucks. It sucks. Because when I was younger,
1:01:42
I thought I was the bad boy. It's all dark and
1:01:45
handsome kind of thing is what I was thinking.
1:01:47
I was like, oh no, I'm fucking weird. But I like
1:01:52
it though. I like it though. Because it's like,
1:01:53
I don't want to be just the generic, all right,
1:01:56
we got the next one. All right, send him out.
1:02:00
You know what I mean? Because like, where are
1:02:01
those guys now? I bet they can't even blade anymore.
1:02:03
They probably can't blade. Yeah. Yeah, probably
1:02:05
can't. But you could. Yeah, I could. And I could
1:02:08
probably rupture all of my discs. Easier than
1:02:12
you would think. Yeah, as soon as you put the
1:02:14
40 at the front, or as soon as you put the four
1:02:16
at the front of the edge, it's like, yeah, things
1:02:18
like that kind of go out the window. Yeah. I'm
1:02:21
like, I think my rollerblading days are probably
1:02:24
over. You know, man, be positive. Be positive.
1:02:28
Oh, you're being so negative right now. It was
1:02:32
a little callback. That's what in the industry
1:02:33
we like to call a callback. It's a comedy podcast
1:02:36
I'm doing. That is good. That is good. I love
1:02:39
that. Be positive. Oh, you're negative. Gosh.
1:02:42
That is good. I love that so much. Is there anything
1:02:46
else that you want to like, you know, put out
1:02:48
to anybody? This is this is your camera here,
1:02:50
if you'd like. Oh, yeah. So I got this cat and
1:02:56
somebody abandoned this cat and I got this cat
1:03:00
and I don't need this cat. So if anybody wants
1:03:03
a really pretty cat, let me know. She's sweet
1:03:05
as pie. But I can't keep I have six animals.
1:03:08
So if anybody wants a cat, you want a cat? Oh,
1:03:10
hell no. But but but I hope that you find a wonderful
1:03:14
home for your cat. If any listeners want a free
1:03:16
cat who's getting fat, let me know. But more
1:03:20
importantly, come to my show on July 24th at
1:03:24
8 p .m. at Mages Sanctum. That's on Woodbury
1:03:28
Drive. It's right next to the Wal -Mart on Ben
1:03:30
White. There's a Chick -fil -A right by there,
1:03:32
too. So you can get food. You can come and laugh
1:03:34
with us. I is going to be headlining. We're going
1:03:36
to have drinks and. BYOB, it's just a great time.
1:03:41
So tickets are 10 bucks on Eventbrite. So buy
1:03:44
your tickets and we'll pack the place out and
1:03:46
have just a gay old time with our quad skates.
1:03:51
Hell yeah. Oh my gosh, that would be amazing.
1:03:53
Can you imagine like roller skating comedy? Oh
1:03:56
my god. Dude, don't even. I'm going to be in
1:03:58
a wheelchair. They don't have a different kind
1:04:02
of four wheels. Yeah, right Everybody's gonna
1:04:06
have their own like Stephen Hawking chair, you
1:04:08
know, I'm just like we all broke our discs mine's
1:04:10
gonna be so bad I'm gonna have to blow, you know
1:04:12
the money to move To put the mic in my hand Right.
1:04:20
So anyway, yeah. Hey, you'll get a golden ticket.
1:04:23
Oh gosh I don't want a golden ticket. I want
1:04:27
to be a regular Right? Yeah. Yeah, just pass
1:04:30
that up. The whole golden ticket thing and just
1:04:32
go right to the regular. Come on. Yeah. Don't
1:04:35
let me look right into the camera. Come on. Make
1:04:39
it happen. Make it happen. Hell yeah. Yeah. Well,
1:04:42
oh my goodness, Lindsey, this has been so much
1:04:45
fun. Thank you so much for doing this. Thank
1:04:47
you for having me. Yeah. Yeah, no, I appreciate
1:04:49
it very much. And here's a little sticker that
1:04:53
I fucked up because I made the fonts different
1:04:56
colors. So the bottom font, you could read with
1:04:59
the top font. You can't, but here you go. Thank
1:05:02
you. Oh, it's lenticulated. Real comics talk
1:05:08
the talk. Yeah. I'm going to put this right on
1:05:11
my phone. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Bring one for Trey,
1:05:15
too, by the way, because he was on, obviously.
1:05:18
That was a while ago. There you go. Thank you.
1:05:21
Yeah. I'll put it on his car without him knowing.
1:05:25
Yeah, that'd be awesome. See how long it takes
1:05:26
him to notice. Yeah, that'd be great. Do you
1:05:29
think it's gonna be before or after this episode
1:05:31
comes out that he'll notice? I hope after. After?
1:05:35
I hope. Okay, I do too. I'll let you know. Yeah,
1:05:37
I hope after. Yeah, it's right in plain sight.
1:05:40
Hell yeah. Well, thank you so much, Lindsey.
1:05:42
I really appreciate you coming on. That was wonderful.
1:05:45
Thank you. Thanks for having me. Oh, yeah. Well,
1:05:47
that's it. That's a wrap. That's it. Show's over.
1:05:50
Hell yeah. Bye!