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Reclaiming Your Inner Compass: How Women Access Their Natural Intuition · No Shrinking Violets Podcast for Women

0:05
Mary: Welcome to No Shrinking Violence.
0:07
Mary: I'm your host, Mary Rothwell, licensed therapist and certified integrative mental health practitioner.
0:13
Mary: I've created a space where we celebrate the intuition and power of women who want to break free from limiting narratives.
0:20
Mary: We'll explore all realms of wellness, what it means to take up space unapologetically, and how your essential nature is key to living life on your terms.
0:29
Mary: It's time to own your space, trust your nature and flourish.
0:34
Mary: Let's dive in.
0:35
Mary: Hey, violets, welcome to the show.
0:40
Mary: I think women in particular are born with intuition.
0:43
Mary: I think it's society's rules that make us doubt what we feel when it comes to intuition and our experience of other people.
0:51
Mary: First, like their presence or their energy, we're taught to be polite and not make anyone feel uncomfortable.
0:57
Mary: Yet we're also supposed to be aware of our surroundings and take action if we feel uncomfortable, sometimes because of our conditioning to stay small or not make others feel any type of way.
1:09
Mary: We may sense something is a bit off, but we ignore it.
1:13
Mary: In the past, there were times when I got a specific feeling about a person when I first met them, like an inner shiver.
1:19
Mary: I used to chalk it up to my own internal situation Was I just nervous meeting them?
1:24
Mary: Was I just having an off day, but later, when I either learned more about the person or I interacted with them more, my intuition turned out to have been correct.
1:35
Mary: They either weren't a great friend or a supportive co-worker or a well-matched dating partner.
1:40
Mary: Often, though, when this happens, I can't even pinpoint what it is about them.
1:46
Mary: That makes me inwardly cringe.
1:48
Mary: When it comes to situations, I think it can be more challenging to determine what is intuition like.
1:54
Mary: I would love to apply for that job, and what is fear?
1:58
Mary: There is no way I could do that job.
2:01
Mary: Notice that the second thought based on fear isn't that you don't want the job.
2:06
Mary: It's fear that you can't do the job.
2:10
Mary: Often, intuition feels like fear in the body.
2:13
Mary: It can make us feel like our heart is beating faster or our breath quickens.
2:17
Mary: When I get excited about a new venture, it's like a little heart shiver.
2:21
Mary: Isn't that how fear feels?
2:23
Mary: Like an internal shiver, but at times it's been a sign that I should go for it.
2:29
Mary: Anyway, I talk about this more in a mini episode episode 38, if you want to give it a listen, okay.
2:36
Mary: So my guest today helps people figure all this out how to live from a place of intuition and make their dreams into a reality, to live from a place of intuition and make their dreams into a reality.
2:47
Mary: Anna Quigley has been called the intuitive Yoda for her insights, experience and commitment to empowering individuals to find and live their unique purpose.
2:54
Mary: She uses sensory imagination and quantum mind-body techniques to assist people in manifesting their dreams and the life they're meant to live.
3:03
Mary: She's based in Southern California and she offers speaking engagements, workshops, courses and coaching services, sharing her expertise, experience and insights.
3:13
Mary: Welcome to no Shrinking Violets, anna.
3:17
Anna: Thank you so much, Mary.
3:18
Anna: I'm happy to be here.
3:20
Mary: Alrighty.
3:20
Mary: So I often start out with asking my guests to share a little bit about their own story, because often what we experience gets us to where we are.
3:30
Mary: So can you start with sharing a little about you and how you learned to trust your own intuition and how that impacted your journey?
3:39
Anna: Well, it's impacted pretty much every part of my life since I discovered it, if you will, when I was, I think, high school, early college, I was so fearful of making a wrong decision, kind of as you were speaking what if this doesn't really feel right, but yet I'm drawn to it, I'm attracted to it?
4:02
Anna: And what if I go this way and I don't like it?
4:06
Anna: I felt almost as if, well, that was it.
4:09
Anna: There was only one way.
4:10
Anna: There's no turning back.
4:11
Anna: And it's crazy because we're at any moment we can pivot and shift and switch.
4:19
Anna: And intuition, learning to listen to my intuition and that came from spiritual studies, mind body studies that I started doing in college and I tested it because I have it.
4:31
Anna: There's an inner skeptic and, like I know a lot of your listeners, it's like, yeah, but what is this?
4:36
Anna: Is this my emotion?
4:38
Anna: Is this really my intuition speaking?
4:40
Anna: I tested it in some silly ways and it was never wrong from my own experience, never wrong.
4:49
Anna: So I really started working with it and throughout my life it has gotten me out of relationships that were not ideal which difficult as it was, significant and into some amazing jobs and situations that, oh, that's not really what I want.
5:09
Anna: My rational mind is fighting on one side, going no.
5:12
Anna: No, this is your background, this is your experience, but I'm really drawn here.
5:16
Anna: Why am I going there?
5:17
Anna: And jobs that turned out to be phenomenal.
5:19
Anna: My best jobs were generally the ones that didn't, on the outside, look like that was the perfect fit, but somehow, not somehow through my intuition, through that inner knowing and that practice of getting familiar with it, like recognizing the voice of an old friend.
5:39
Anna: Oh OK, that's what it is.
5:42
Anna: Discerning the difference between that fearful and that, oh yeah, yeah, this is right.
5:50
Anna: May not make sense.
5:51
Anna: I don't necessarily understand it, but I'm going for it, and it has always led me to the next great adventure.
6:00
Mary: Yeah, well, I think we I mean I assume, when I say intuition, that people know what I mean.
6:07
Mary: Are you able to define it Like does it feel different for everybody, or do you feel like there are like common feelings or threads that we all experience with it?
6:25
Anna: And it can show up for each person, and it can show up daily in different ways.
6:27
Anna: There's a science behind it as well.
6:29
Anna: This is a real thing.
6:30
Anna: We are all born not just women, although I think we tend to be more in tune, more open to it but we're all born with it, so it's an innate gift that we're given, that we can with learn to recognize and follow more easily the science behind it.
6:51
Anna: If I can go a little geeky for just a second, we pick up 11 million bits of information every single second, and the piece that really surprised me the most when I was doing my research is that only 1% of that is picked up by our brain.
7:08
Anna: The rest of it's picked up by our senses, so by our gut and by you know, those little chills or auditory senses, and it makes total sense when you start looking at intuition, which speaks to us.
7:22
Anna: It makes itself known through our senses, that gut feeling that everybody knows.
7:28
Anna: Or when you get chills, the confirmation chills, right, we've all had that.
7:33
Anna: Or, and this one, I think too, is more related to women, but that I just know.
7:40
Anna: Well, how do you know?
7:41
Anna: I don't know, but I know, and there's unshakable confidence in something.
7:47
Anna: When that comes through, that's intuition, that is intuition speaking to us.
7:52
Anna: So it could be a repetitive sign that you see that you didn't notice before, but that's reassuring, something that you might be interested in.
8:03
Anna: Or even when we know, you know that little voice, that inner voice.
8:07
Anna: Sometimes it's audible, but it could also be people talking to you about a particular book or a situation or a trip you should take in a short period of time, repetitively.
8:19
Anna: That's kind of a way intuition gets our attention.
8:22
Anna: So it comes in different ways at different times and the more aware we become, the more familiar it's like.
8:30
Anna: Get to know your intuition and how it speaks to you uniquely, the easier it becomes, and in my own experience it has never been anything other than neutral, but so you don't always know what it's guided you to.
8:46
Anna: You know, turn left here.
8:48
Anna: I don't know why I'm turning left here.
8:49
Anna: You may have missed an accident or got stuck in traffic, like I did recently because I didn't listen.
8:56
Mary: Yeah, well, I've learned.
8:58
Mary: For me it's sort of a tiny beat of silence.
9:03
Mary: I know that sounds weird, but I think I'm noticing like a micro expression and every time I think back on it, like I think of situations when I've said something and I know somebody isn't agreeing, but they don't say it.
9:17
Mary: And it happened a couple times in job interviews and when I went back and thought about it I'm like if I had listened to that beat of silence, I should have followed up and looked at that person and addressed sort of that unasked question.
9:32
Mary: And I think it is very easy to ignore it or think it's woo-woo or it's you know.
9:40
Mary: Of course that's not the case.
9:42
Mary: So what do you think?
9:44
Mary: I mean, I talked about sort of society scripts where, let's say, you are walking down the street and you feel just like not settled.
9:53
Mary: I think sometimes, if we can think, all right, I don't want to cross the street because it's going to look rude or I don't want to be that person.
10:01
Mary: So I think sometimes those things get in the way of just listening.
10:07
Mary: What do you?
10:08
Mary: Do you agree with that?
10:09
Mary: Are there other things that can cloud that intuition for us?
10:13
Anna: I absolutely agree, and it's expectations you mentioned earlier.
10:18
Anna: You know, as women, oh, you need to be polite, you need to be, you know to behave in a certain way, not be too aggressive, and we tend to put ourselves second.
10:29
Anna: It's our nature.
10:30
Anna: We're caregivers.
10:31
Anna: We do that naturally, innately, but at our own expense, often Not hearing that or not recognizing and allowing that and having the courage, initially, I think it can take, to honor that, even over the societal expectations.
10:51
Anna: And then, of course, the rational mind is which I tease.
10:55
Anna: I tease my rational mind and stop being a bully, because it's critical, it wants to keep everything straight.
11:03
Anna: So a job, it's critical, it wants to keep everything straight.
11:07
Anna: So a job.
11:07
Anna: Well, you're not, you know, that's not really your background or that's not really what you said you wanted or you're really looking for, but yet there's a pull.
11:13
Anna: And that happened to me with the job.
11:15
Anna: It's like why am I?
11:15
Anna: No, but I keep kept seeing the ad and I'm like, just just go talk to them and it turned out to be one of my, one of my best dads, even though it didn't fit the picture.
11:26
Anna: It didn't fit the picture.
11:28
Anna: So, yeah, you've got those influences and and you know the rational mind and the emotions.
11:34
Anna: Well, here's what I should do, rather than listening to where we're really being guided to for our betterment.
11:40
Anna: For our betterment and I mean betterment in every way, not just careers and relationships, but on, my intuition, streamlines my errands.
11:51
Anna: Most of the time it's oops, don't forget.
11:54
Anna: You know that little voice.
11:55
Anna: It's like, oh, did you forget your, your keys?
11:58
Anna: Or you're walking out the door.
11:59
Anna: It's like, oh, you forgot, whatever it was, the thing you need to take to the bank.
12:03
Anna: Where does that come from?
12:05
Mary: Yeah.
12:06
Anna: Where does that come from?
12:08
Mary: Well, now I think especially our world is so loud and so fast and we are not often mindful.
12:15
Mary: So you know we've talked already about kind of what it feels like for us.
12:21
Mary: But how do you help women learn to recognize their intuition?
12:27
Anna: You talked about that moment of silence, that beat of silence.
12:30
Anna: The core is starting to be respectful of your own space, your own space, quietness.
12:43
Anna: And that's hard.
12:44
Anna: When you're running around and taking care of everyone else and busy with work and family and everything else, it's difficult to find that time.
12:51
Anna: But it's essential to start learning to listen, to listen to those.
12:58
Anna: Give ourselves the opportunity to take.
13:03
Anna: It could be sit in your car for two minutes before you go in the house to take care of the kids and feed you know, get dinner ready and whatnot.
13:10
Anna: Sit for two minutes in the car and just be still.
13:13
Anna: Not the radio, not the phone, not checking text messages, but just and take a breath and relax a little bit and see what comes up.
13:25
Anna: Meditation, yes, it's not something everyone loves to do, it's not just sitting, you know, oming on a mountaintop.
13:32
Anna: Take a walk out in nature, walk through the park, be still Something I call the power of the shower, and it's not just me.
13:43
Anna: There have been all kinds of amazing inventions that have come about with people relaxing in the shower.
13:50
Anna: Because you're tuning out that rational mind, you're turning the dial down on that chaos, that noise that's constantly surrounding us.
14:01
Anna: So the more.
14:02
Anna: You can get to moments it's again doesn't have to be any major like sit for an hour and just find pockets of time to be still and before you're running out the door to run errands, take a minute and just be still and oh, yeah, I need to grab that.
14:25
Anna: Oops, where's my phone?
14:26
Anna: No-transcript.
14:48
Anna: Well, I walked in that room and that person there's just I don't know what it is.
14:52
Anna: Or yeah, I'm walking across the street.
14:55
Anna: Something here doesn't feel safe.
14:57
Anna: Make a little note.
14:59
Anna: Oh, what was that?
15:01
Anna: Did anything happen?
15:02
Anna: Or did I just feel something?
15:05
Anna: Or did I just know I needed to go into that store?
15:09
Anna: And then you run into an old friend, or just you know paying attention, because in you know two hours you're going to have forgotten about it and what happened.
15:18
Anna: So the more you see that repetitive pattern, it's another tool to start recognizing and allowing that tool to start recognizing and allowing that.
15:30
Mary: So, yeah, and I think the word meditation feels big and heavy, but mindfulness is exactly what you're saying, it's that moment to moment.
15:34
Mary: So being in the shower like experience the lather of the shampoo, you know what, what is the conditioner?
15:42
Mary: Feel like trying, instead of thinking about all the things to do that day, just give yourself that time to experience.
15:50
Mary: Or even when I wake up, I try not to reach for my phone for 10 minutes.
15:55
Mary: I mean, some people can't, you know, lounge in bed for even 10 minutes but trying to just let yourself wake up, be aware, take stock, like what does my body feel like today?
16:07
Mary: Do I feel rested?
16:09
Mary: Do I have any aches and pains?
16:11
Mary: Did I sleep wrong?
16:13
Mary: You know, looking at the light coming through the window, that's part of also helping us sleep better.
16:19
Mary: But being in our life and trying to just take that second to, maybe it's one breath, you know, sometimes one breath.
16:29
Mary: Just being in that moment and recognizing, like what do I feel like right now?
16:34
Mary: Is my jaw clenched?
16:35
Mary: Am I like my stomach clenched?
16:37
Mary: Like letting all of that go makes you more aware of what's happening intuition wise and also what's happening around you.
16:45
Anna: And important point is the senses.
16:48
Anna: So feel like what are the sheets?
16:51
Anna: Feel like this morning is, feel the weight of the blankets or the cool air coming from the window.
16:57
Anna: Give yourself that moment in the morning and that's.
17:00
Anna: That's really an insightful time too, because we've shut off that rational mind, is quieted with the sleep.
17:06
Anna: So how many times have we had those aha moments when we wake up with a solution to something we've been trying to figure out for a while, because we've quieted that down.
17:16
Anna: But bringing in all of the senses and starting the morning with that and whether that's oh, I can smell the coffee that's that's brewing downstairs, and really welcome to that.
17:26
Anna: And try through all your senses, what am I seeing?
17:29
Anna: Oh, this wonderful shadow on the ceiling from the light coming in from the window and, like you said, the smell of coffee, or maybe the sound of the dogs or, in my neighborhood, the roosters crowing, you know, next door.
17:42
Anna: And awaken all your senses because they're going to be your guide throughout the day for so many things.
17:52
Mary: Yeah, and you talked about nature.
17:53
Mary: I'm a big nature girl and I weave that into my work a lot.
17:56
Mary: And I you know we are really powerful as a species because of our brain, but it's also the thing that often defeats us, because we think ourselves out of something, or you know, fear comes from our conditioning.
18:12
Mary: Our amygdala learns what to be afraid of and then it extrapolates that to nearly everything so that it's to our detriment.
18:21
Mary: Nature, and you talked about going for a walk.
18:24
Mary: There is nothing that gets you more in touch with your person than to put your phone in your back pocket, put it on, do not disturb and even if you are outside, even if you don't want to walk through the woods because you don't want the bugs or whatever, sit outside for 10 minutes, look at the sky, observe the clouds, find a favorite tree, Even if you are living in the city.
18:45
Mary: When you walk through the city, find a favorite tree, Even if you are living in the city.
18:47
Mary: When you walk through the city, find your favorite tree, name it, Like all of those things where we're connecting to what we actually are, which is nature, and we forget because we're so evolved.
18:59
Mary: But part of that is not being evolved because when animals sense, they sense things.
19:05
Mary: They're not thinking.
19:06
Mary: I better not go to this watering hole because this is where you know the whatever attacked me the last time.
19:14
Anna: I think it's they sense when there's danger and we've become so disconnected from that and yet we have all of that in us, those senses, all of that is there but we have shut them down and we've got so much noise and busyness around.
19:30
Anna: I heard a speech from a recently awarded Nobel Prize winning scientist recently and one of his students was like oh yeah, it obviously takes a lot of work.
19:41
Anna: It's really hard work to do, and he goes.
19:44
Anna: Yeah, but he says honestly, I get my best ideas when I'm running around Torrey Pines State Park, letting all of that go.
19:52
Anna: He goes.
19:53
Anna: That's where the juices start flowing.
19:55
Anna: The creativity, I mean the rational mind and the organized it keeps us organized.
20:00
Anna: But those senses, that time in nature look at that beautiful leaf on the ground and the dew on the flowers hugging your favorite tree I love that.
20:10
Anna: Finding your own tree and naming your own tree.
20:12
Anna: I'm going to do that in my neighborhood.
20:14
Anna: So I love that, that connection.
20:19
Anna: It just.
20:19
Anna: It takes a split second to do that, but it awakens and stimulates that activity and allows our intuitive thoughts and energy and feelings to be seen and recognized more easily.
20:35
Mary: Well, and I think when we're young, we do it instinctively.
20:38
Mary: We know what we like instinctively, we know what books we like, or we know what sports, or we know if we don't like sports, or we want to play the violin, or you know, I think about that before all the social scripts happen that girls aren't supposed to do this thing, or I think that we just naturally know those things, but then we lose it as we get older.
21:02
Anna: Or we're conditioned out of it.
21:04
Anna: Well, no, that's not.
21:06
Anna: Oh, I love poetry.
21:08
Anna: Well, yeah, you're not going to be a poetry major in college, what are you going to do with that?
21:13
Anna: Or an artist or some of the other things?
21:15
Anna: It's like, no, it has to be practical.
21:17
Anna: But those yearnings, those urges, stay with us, they don't go anywhere.
21:24
Anna: And it comes a point in our lives and quite often it's midlife and beyond and beyond when those start coming up again, because maybe the kids are out of the house, or you've done your career and you're ready for change, but they start percolating and start bubbling because they don't go away, those desires and those things that we love.
21:47
Anna: They get suppressed perhaps, but you know they're always there waiting.
21:52
Anna: It's like okay, are you ready for me?
21:54
Anna: Are you ready for it now?
21:56
Anna: And oftentimes it's even a better time because we have, you know, wisdom and a little more courage and faith in our own abilities.
22:07
Mary: Yeah, and we don't.
22:12
Mary: Often, I think, as women, when we think about something like menopause, I think we're like, oh, I don't want to go through it, or these.
22:15
Mary: We focus on the changes and I feel like it's.
22:18
Mary: You know, these things are going to happen and I know, as someone who's certified in functional nutrition and having gone through it myself, there are things to make it way better.
22:28
Mary: But I think, once we get through those things and we've done a lot of what are prescribed as life tasks we've, you know, completed an education, maybe we've had a career, maybe we've raised children we're moving through that and I think we then have that ability to start to look inside a little more, like what is my next thing that I want to achieve?
22:51
Mary: I think we have that gift and we often focus on what we look like, because we're aging and we know our skin is different and we gain weight and we can't do certain things, and those are the things that we can't change.
23:05
Anna: But there's certain things, and those are the things that we can't change, but there's, I think, a huge gift that we get, when we get to that part of life, agreed, we've got wisdom, we've gotten more clarity, we have a better sense of what's really important to us.
23:16
Anna: What makes me sad, when I hear it, is when women will say, oh, I think I'm too old, it's too late to change, and they're 50, or they're 60 even, or 70 even.
23:31
Anna: It's like no, if you're being called to do something, we're all here for specific purposes and we all have innate gifts and as women, we tend not to pay attention to the things that come easily, the things that are just oh yeah, I mean, I've had my own.
23:52
Anna: You know.
23:53
Anna: Friends say to me oh, you're so good at this.
23:55
Anna: I mean, thank you, thank you for the compliment, but tell me something I can use.
24:00
Anna: It's like, actually, I found a whole new career when I was just actually going through menopause and it had to do with these things that my friends kept saying oh, you're so good at that, and I dismissed and dismissed and then, until it came right up in my face, I go oh, that fits with this and that's how this works.
24:20
Anna: And it proved to really be a marker sending me in the right direction on a new career.
24:27
Anna: But if I hadn't asked.
24:29
Anna: You know, I just was like, oh, it's just something I do, it's just something I do, it's not important.
24:34
Anna: What I really work hard at is what I'm going to focus on and it's and we're missing.
24:39
Anna: We're missing these amazing gifts that we have, that are ours to share.
24:44
Anna: Not everybody has them, so we do them in our own unique way.
24:48
Anna: I mean, there may be a lot of people that have, you know, artistic ability, but nobody's going to express it the way you would, or I would, or anyone else would.
24:57
Anna: So it's interesting that these openings, these open periods in our lives, it's like those quiet times.
25:06
Anna: They pop up and it's almost like here's a little window, okay, are you ready to move through it?
25:11
Anna: And if you don't, you know, maybe a few years before you feel that again.
25:16
Anna: So you know it's there waiting when you're ready for it.
25:22
Mary: Yeah, and people, I think, do observe for us things about us and we may dismiss it because it's so much a part of us.
25:29
Mary: I have had people tell me for years you need to talk more about plants.
25:34
Mary: People will randomly text me questions about plants and it lights me up and I think sometimes too, we believe that, oh, if I love it, then it's just a hobby or it's not something.
25:50
Mary: And I think that, listening to people that we have to hear it so many times, or if we're teachers, we can think, oh, we have that idea of imposter syndrome, which is such an overused term, but we only have to know 10% more than somebody else.
26:08
Mary: You know, we don't have to know 100%, every single thing and say we're an expert to be able to offer that knowledge to other people.
26:16
Anna: And we have unique experiences.
26:18
Anna: I know in my own coaching business, a lot of what I'm sharing is based on the lessons that I've learned and the multiple times that I've done this and how I've used intuition and how I've not used it and those lessons that have come with that.
26:31
Anna: Yes, I have, you know, studied and done some research and I love the science behind it because it diffuses the woo-woo, mm-hmm, but a lot of it comes from the fact that I've gone through these experiences and I've learned them and we learn from each other and sharing each other's stories, which is why I love conversations like this and interviewing people who have had experiences with intuition.
26:57
Anna: So it's like reading a biography.
27:00
Anna: Now, how did you do that?
27:01
Anna: Okay, I'm going to apply that to my own life so powerful.
27:06
Mary: Yeah, power, powerful, yeah, powerful, yeah.
27:08
Mary: So here's what I want to explore a little bit, because fear is real and it serves a purpose.
27:13
Mary: So I did a little mini episode on this, like I mentioned I did.
27:21
Mary: My minis are under 10 minutes, so it was just a really quick snapshot.
27:23
Mary: But how do you help people when they really have trouble teasing apart?
27:27
Mary: Is this a legitimate fear?
27:29
Mary: For instance, I want to change careers.
27:31
Mary: Here's what I feel drawn to.
27:33
Mary: But what about health insurance?
27:35
Mary: These very practical things?
27:37
Mary: How do you help people tease that apart and get through that and really move into their intuition?
27:45
Anna: And that can be a challenge because, again, that's the rational mind.
27:48
Anna: Well, but nobody has to be safe, and that's what its job is.
27:53
Anna: It keeps us safe, it keeps us going.
27:55
Anna: So we have to start by splitting everything apart.
27:59
Anna: Okay, what are the concerns?
28:01
Anna: And breaking it apart I'm a big list maker, so I love that Pros and cons, but in a more detailed way.
28:09
Anna: It's like if you took this job or went down this path what are the perks?
28:14
Anna: What are you not having?
28:17
Anna: And if it's insurance, okay, that's a very real concern.
28:22
Anna: So how can you supplement that?
28:24
Anna: How can you find another way to make sure that you're able to have self-care from inside and outside?
28:32
Anna: You know, taking care of yourself, but also making sure that you have the support externally to do that?
28:37
Anna: So it's pulling the threads apart.
28:40
Anna: You know, like a knotted ball or a necklace that gets tied up.
28:45
Anna: You start with where, in the center of the knot, and you start pulling the little pieces and then you get those openings, you get insights and oh yeah, is this really important?
28:55
Anna: How important is that to you?
28:57
Anna: If health insurance or something else is like nine out of 10, okay, well, let's address that and start diffusing that you find.
29:06
Anna: So there's always a solution, that's.
29:08
Anna: I believe there's always a solution or an opportunity to find a way to make something work.
29:14
Anna: But it's pulling it apart, and then the fear dissipates when it's when everything's knotted up and clumped up like that.
29:22
Anna: You's no breathing space, there's no opportunity to see how it can unwind.
29:30
Anna: But as you start pulling up these threads, if you will, and addressing each one and again, it's starting to pay attention and with every moment of that, okay.
29:40
Anna: So how do you feel?
29:40
Anna: Check in with your body.
29:42
Anna: Where is that resonating?
29:43
Anna: Is that?
29:44
Anna: Is that just?
29:45
Anna: Is that up here in your chest?
29:46
Anna: Is it a gut feeling?
29:47
Anna: Are you just?
29:48
Anna: Is there anxiety and how?
29:51
Anna: What?
29:52
Anna: Where's that coming from?
29:53
Anna: We start looking at that.
29:55
Mary: So yeah, and I think too, the idea of let it, let it be easy, like what are you, what it doesn't, if it's something that feels hard, that I really like.
30:08
Mary: I know I started to follow a certain path because I felt like I should do this because I can probably make money sooner, and I didn't hate it.
30:15
Mary: But it wasn't my passion.
30:20
Mary: Follow what I really felt, even though that other route that I felt drawn to in my mind was like, well, I don't know if I can really make money, but I feel like when you have to make a living, if you follow your passion, then it's first of all, it's easier, and it's it's.
30:38
Mary: It's not only easier for you, but I think it's easier to find success because you believe in it.
30:43
Anna: It's easier to find success because you believe in it.
30:45
Anna: You believe in it and you know our words have energy, our thoughts are so powerful and when you're focused on something you love, your energy shifts, it just opportunities present themselves.
30:58
Anna: You start seeing opportunities that were there but you weren't necessarily paying attention to because it didn't look like it was going to fit in this little box.
31:10
Anna: So it's kind of breaking down those barriers too, like I'm nodding, but letting that space in to that challenge, that concern, and there are opportunities in all of that, in moments, and that where something else will pop up.
31:24
Anna: Oh, I never, I never, oh, I didn't think of it that way.
31:26
Anna: Oh, I never realized that was even an option.
31:28
Anna: It's shifting focus but, you know, tying in with how you're feeling and where it's where, where it's stuck, and then it's like, okay, we can address that.
31:38
Anna: That's just a gut fear.
31:39
Anna: Where does that come from?
31:40
Anna: I'm I'm not a psychologist, although I have studied some psychology, but basic human nature, you know this is could be something from.
31:53
Anna: You know, a long time ago that was an unpleasant experience.
31:54
Anna: It's still kind of hanging around.
31:55
Anna: It's not valid anymore.
31:55
Anna: But we're just looking at things.
31:56
Anna: We're not analyzing and I'm not.
31:58
Anna: You know, as I said, I'm not doing therapy or hypnosis, but it's.
32:01
Anna: Let's just take a look at it.
32:03
Anna: What is that?
32:04
Anna: What is that and how can we resolve that?
32:07
Mary: And when we feel unhappy, I think we have urgency, like I have to figure this out, and that doesn't help, and I think as just let it sit and, like you're saying, like, make some notes, observe some things, and when you feel that urgency, just think, okay, I'm just gathering information, I'll figure it out.
32:27
Mary: And as we allow that to happen, I think it becomes easier to recognize oh, this is doable.
32:35
Mary: And here are the things, as you're saying, here are the things that I missed, and I think this can actually make sense for me.
32:42
Anna: Yep, I mean, just when you talk about stress, even just saying stress, this is your body just kind of automatically tighten up.
32:50
Anna: And when you stop for a minute and give it that open space, things open up and loosen up and, yeah, you start seeing things differently, in a different light and opportunities.
33:01
Anna: They don't they were there all along, but we start seeing them.
33:05
Anna: It's not that we're missing them and we become more open to oh, oh, oh, I could try that let the fear dissipates and that's so powerful to to move that aside and and do that.
33:17
Anna: And you know, nature is, as we've mentioned, just a huge way to start opening that up too, which is why just going for a walk or floating in a pool or taking a hot bath and, you know, relaxing and not have your phone and just listening to music, any of those things that stimulate you and relax, you can open up that space.
33:39
Mary: And envision it.
33:40
Mary: You can envision what you want.
33:42
Mary: You can, even if you don't know exactly.
33:45
Mary: It might be saying it out loud Like I want to be doing work where I feel, you know, passionate, or I I'm helping others, and just then let that sit and sift through it and really be aware of something that you might.
34:01
Mary: Or like you talked about other people observing, I think if you have trusted people in your life when they say things, I mean I remember my husband said something and we've only been married it's been less than three years.
34:14
Mary: So he came into my life much later, at a time when I was making a big shift in my career, and he said at one point you know you can always retire early.
34:24
Mary: And I was immediately like no, I can't.
34:26
Mary: And what did I end up doing?
34:28
Mary: Ended up retiring early and everything fell into place because of that.
34:33
Mary: So I think it's one of those things sometimes where we don't always see the options, but somebody that is standing on the outside and can see us, that is something where, instead of quickly dismissing, just say I'm going to sit this over here on this shelf and I'm going to let it sit there and I'm going to revisit it in a little bit and see how it feels, maybe in a week or whatever.
35:00
Anna: Yeah, and it doesn't hurt.
35:02
Anna: Ask your friends, ask the people that really know you.
35:04
Anna: What am I good at?
35:05
Anna: What am I missing?
35:06
Anna: What is it that you see that I do well, that maybe I'm not paying attention to?
35:12
Anna: They'll tell you, and they're usually right.
35:17
Anna: They're usually right.
35:20
Anna: The imagining and the sensory imagination is one of the tools that I love and I use a lot in my work.
35:28
Anna: It's because we know intuition is speaking to us through our senses.
35:33
Anna: Everything's connected in our body, everything talks to it.
35:37
Anna: Everything else can you know chemically.
35:40
Anna: And that gut brain they actually call it the second brain that gut intestinal element.
35:47
Anna: So we can actually reverse engineer.
35:50
Anna: And you were talking about what is.
35:52
Anna: What does the new job look like If you can bring more senses into it?
35:56
Anna: Let's say you're looking for a new house.
35:58
Anna: Ok, what's the house look like?
36:01
Anna: And picture yourself in the kitchen, cooking and entertaining, fixing your first meal for your friends and family, having a party or walking in the backyard.
36:11
Anna: What's the grass feel like under your bare feet and the smell of the flowers that are in the yard.
36:18
Anna: The more you can bring full-fledged feelings and senses in're essentially reprogramming, you're re-engineering your brain and your mind goes oh, oh, that's what we're creating.
36:31
Anna: This is what you want.
36:32
Anna: Okay, here, come over here.
36:33
Anna: Here's another idea, but it's so powerful and our words, obviously, are very, very powerful.
36:41
Anna: So keep the words focused on what you want, not what you don't have.
36:46
Anna: That's huge.
36:47
Anna: That's a basic.
36:48
Anna: But yeah, on my new job, and these are the amazing people.
36:53
Anna: And is it in a warehouse or is it in a high rise building or is it, you know, your own business, and are you sitting in front of a microphone or what and what's that feel like, and picture your environment.
37:07
Anna: And well, and just just to reiterate it, our words have so much power to create.
37:15
Anna: It's critical that we make sure that we use language that affirms where we want to go, what we want.
37:23
Anna: Not.
37:24
Anna: I know I don't want a job like that, or I know I don't want to do this or live here or whatever that is, and all your brain hears is, oh, that place or that job or that situation.
37:37
Anna: And that ties in with the sensory imagination to the language supports it.
37:42
Anna: Write down what you want.
37:44
Anna: It.
37:45
Anna: That's using another sense.
37:46
Anna: Write the details, exactly what it looks like, what it feels like, uh, what, and and again, what?
37:53
Anna: Do you hear?
37:54
Anna: The birds singing in the yard or you've got airplanes going by.
37:58
Anna: You want to be by anything, any of that, the sound of the water, if you want to live on a houseboat, as much as you can.
38:05
Anna: But the words, keep your words affirmative and for where you want to go and what you want to experience, because your body's listening, your body's always listening and it's responding and going oh okay, good, you got, we got.
38:19
Anna: We got your back.
38:20
Mary: Yeah, you know yeah, and it's a simple I.
38:24
Mary: We say it's simple.
38:25
Mary: I think if you don't think this way, it can be not simple.
38:28
Mary: So it's something like instead of saying I don't ever want a job again where I'm not respected, you say I really want to feel respected in my career.
38:40
Anna: Or I am so happy to be in a situation where my actions, my work is respected and I'm treated with respect and admired, or, yeah, as if it already exists.
38:55
Anna: Yeah, very powerful.
38:58
Mary: Yeah, and the same with relation.
39:00
Mary: I mean we're talking a lot about career but with relationships, if you have had a series of either friendships where it was very unequal, or you've had romantic relationships that you realize in hindsight were not like, I have a saying that I love.
39:14
Mary: That I saw in a meme one time after I just got out of a terrible relationship and it said I saw the red flags.
39:21
Mary: I just thought it was a carnival, and so I think you know those are the things where, again, pay attention.
39:28
Mary: But going forward, I mean we can tend to think why do?
39:31
Mary: I've had many clients say this to me why do I always attract X, y or Z?
39:36
Mary: And it's like, well, let's talk about what do you want?
39:40
Mary: Going forward, and so trying to think in that generative mindset that I have more control than I think, because we tend to think I don't have any control.
39:49
Mary: It's happening to me Well, life happens through you, not to you, and for us, yeah, so being able to think about going forward, what do I want to be part of my life?
40:02
Anna: And how do I want to live my life?
40:04
Anna: Who do I want in it?
40:05
Anna: What are the experiences I have?
40:08
Anna: And you have to have the courage to, to take action, intuition speaking to you, but if you don't take action and that's true with anything I want I want a new career.
40:21
Anna: Well, okay, you know, I used to joke because I, when I had my import business, I just worked crazy long hours and it was like, well, it's me and the UPS man, or nobody he's the only guy that ever came around because I was never out to do that.
40:37
Anna: So you have to put yourself in a situation and experience where you can, you know, have the opportunities for that too.
40:46
Anna: But, yeah, listening, listening to that and putting, being aware, yeah, yeah, so we've talked about a lot of things.
40:54
Mary: So if somebody's listening and they're like, okay, I think I can start to tune into this more, Do you have sort of some?
41:00
Mary: Where do they go from here?
41:01
Mary: What are some action steps that can get them more tuned in and sort of working with their intuition?
41:09
Anna: Find silence.
41:09
Anna: First of all, find moments in your day Again, even if it's sitting in your car, before you go into work or walk around the block.
41:17
Anna: Take a minute, take five minutes before you jump out of bed.
41:22
Anna: Give yourself that luxury.
41:24
Anna: Move your phone to the other side of the room so you're not tempted which I've started doing and it's amazingly helpful and give yourself those moments.
41:33
Anna: Pay attention to the senses and things that are around you and start tuning in and then track and I do offer a tracking sheet if someone wants a tool ready-made that talks about all of the senses and how intuition speaks through our senses, and just something they can start making note of.
41:53
Anna: So I have that available.
41:55
Anna: But that's first place.
41:56
Anna: Start listening and respecting when those things come, stop and go.
42:01
Anna: Okay, what's going on?
42:02
Anna: Is this fear?
42:04
Anna: Is this my you know my rational mind going yeah, but that's not doesn't feel safe, or am I being kind of directed by my intuition?
42:13
Anna: So it's a good first.
42:14
Anna: First couple of places to start.
42:16
Anna: Yeah.
42:17
Mary: Well, this has been a very fun conversation.
42:20
Mary: Can you tell, can you tell everyone a little more about, like, what you do and where they can find you?
42:27
Anna: Absolutely, thank you.
42:28
Anna: I am working as what I call a transformational coach, so this has been my passion for so many years and it's taken a while for me to get to the point where I have been able to create this, where this is what I can do for a living and spend my time helping others find their own passion and their path for the next stage of their lives.
42:52
Anna: I can be reached at journey to purpose T-O, spelled out, dot org.
42:59
Anna: If you type that in and forward slash contact to the number two, you can email me and I'll send you a tracking sheet and you're happy to do that.
43:12
Anna: I do jumpstart calls.
43:14
Anna: You can book a call on the website and let's just talk.
43:17
Anna: Sometimes, you know, it doesn't have to be a big deal, but it can take, you know, a short conversation to even just start moving in the right direction of the new trajectory.
43:28
Anna: So I happily often notice I offer workshops and I speak to your organization or your groups, if you like, zoom or in person.
43:37
Anna: But I and if you want to share your stories, if this is something you've had experiences with, I'm gathering stories for a book, so I'd love to have any of your listeners or viewers you know, share their stories and help other women and men as well, find their own path.
43:54
Mary: So that's great.
43:55
Mary: Well, you don't have to write everything down that she just said I will put.
43:59
Mary: I'll link it in the show notes and thank you.
44:02
Mary: Thank you so much, Anna, for being here.
44:04
Anna: This has been wonderful.
44:05
Anna: I could talk about this for days and it's been just a total joy talking with you.
44:11
Mary: And thank you everyone for listening.
44:12
Mary: If you'd like today's episode, please give me a quick rating, because it helps other people to find me.
44:18
Mary: And until next time, go out into the world and be the amazing, resilient, vibrant violet that you are.