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Transcript

From Setbacks to Comebacks: Building A Resilient Mindset – Transform Failure into Triumph · Motivational Podcast

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Well, the thing about it is funny, man, all these
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: catch phrases people always say, you know, failures are part
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: of life and failure is how you grow. I've said
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: all that stuff before, but it really is a bunch
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: of shit. It really is, man.
• 0:11
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna be honest with you.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm so tired of hearing all these.
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: Fucking cliche fuking you know, like goal setting, composters.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: And all that shit.
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: Half the people who write that shop aren't even doing
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: this shit you're talking about. Half the people talk about failure,
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: you know, they're millionaires sitting back in some nice house
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: talking about so it just it makes me fucking nuts.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: The reason why I believe I can talk of failures
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: because I'm still feeling today and I'm feeling in the
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: major way and im and I'm living when I'm talking.
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: So many people who talk about all this their there
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: has beens. There are people who used to do back
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: in the day. Night I talk about it, are you
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: living it today?
• 0:54
  Speaker 2: So for me, failure is it's something that you should
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: be afraid of. It should be afraid of.
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: But that's why you should go out there and challenge
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: yourself to fail, because if you're.
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Not feeling that something that means you've set.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Your goals to pass to succeed that everything you do,
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: which means you're not setting your goals high enough.
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: So for me, okay, I'm gonna go out and.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Break against but a rules record for pull ups lofty goal,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: which is why I failed it twice before I finally
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: got it. I knew, going into everything I've ever done
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: in my life maybe still training three times before I
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: got it. Everything I've ever done in my life took
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: me three times before I got it. I knew that
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: there was a huge possibility of failure. But what I
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: gain from failure is this. When you see a movie,
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: and you watch a movie by a person that keeps
• 1:47
  Speaker 1: failing and at the end they succeed, how do you
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: feel like you watch that movie? Amazing? Right, I become
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: the movie. I want to feel how I feel watching
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: someone else in the movie. When I watched Rocky get
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: his ass kicked, and I watched all these different things
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: of failure, I was able to put myself there and say, God, man,
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: how much do you feel now that you finally got there.
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: That's what failure has done to me. I've watched so
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: many things and watch someone succeed at.
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: The end of it. It's like, God, I want to
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: feel like that.
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: But failure causes that one feeling. Without that failure involves.
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: You don't have that feeling.
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: If you just pass and you succeed and you're great,
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: that feeling yeah, okay, I'm good. What takes you years months,
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: years to accomplish because you just can't get over the hump.
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: But you continue going back to the drawing board. You're
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: looking for those.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Few seconds after you finally figure out the equation, what
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: every equation may be.
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: To get you to finally pass, to succeed.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: I live for that feeling, but I can't get that
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: feeling without going through I felt this equation, I feel.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: This one, I feel this one, I feel this one. Oh,
• 3:10
  Speaker 2: I'm figuring it out.
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: So you start to feel it before you even pass,
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: before you even get to the success part. And then
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: once you succeed, the feeling is unbelievable. And you take
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: that feeling of success through failure and you put it
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: in your cookie jar and you say, I'll come back
• 3:27
  Speaker 1: and get you again. I'm gonna need you again down
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: the road in my life to call on you. It
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: becomes so addictive that you don't mind failing anymore because
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: you know now, Oh.
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: I just.
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I've been off on something real big, which means the
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: feeling is gonna be really big. So yeah, that's what
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: I mean. It takes failure to get the best feeling
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: in the world. I remember it as a kid. No
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: matter how up our life was, my mother always figured
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: out a way to stock our damn cookie jar. She
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: buy wafers and Oreos, Pepperidge Farm, Milanos and chick and
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: whenever she showed up with a new batch of cookies,
• 4:02
  Speaker 1: she dumped them into one jar. With her permission, we'd
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: get to pick one or two out at a time.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: It was like a mini treasure hunt.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I remember the joy of dropping my fist into that jar,
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: wondering what I'd find, and before I crammed the cookie
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: in my mouth, I always took the time to admire at.
• 4:21
  Speaker 3: First, especially when we were broken.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Brazil, I turn it around in my hand and say
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: my own little.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: Prayer of thanks.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: The feeling of being that kid locked in a moment
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: of gratitude for a simple gift like a cookie came
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: back to me. I felt it viscerally, and I used
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: that concept to stuff, a new kind of cookie jar.
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Inside it were all my past victories, like the time
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: when I had to study three times as hard as
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: anybody else during my senior year in high school just
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: to graduate. That was a cookie. Or when I passed
• 4:55
  Speaker 1: the as Baptist as a senior and then again to
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: get into books two more cookies. I remember dropping over
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: one hundred pounds in under three months, conquering my fear
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: of water, graduating bus at the top of my class,
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: and being named enlisted honor man in Army Ranger School.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: All those were cookies loaded with chocolate chunks. These weren't
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: mere flashbacks. I wasn't just floating through my memory files.
• 5:21
  Speaker 1: I actually tapped into the emotional state I felt during
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: those victories, and then so doing access my sympathetic nervous
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: system once again, my adrenaline took over. The pain started
• 5:31
  Speaker 1: to fade just enough, and my pace picked up. I
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: began swinging my arms and lengthening my stride. My fractured
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: feet were still a bloody mess full of blisters, the
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: toenails peeling off almost every toe, but I kept pounding,
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: and soon it was me who was slaloming runners with
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: pain expression as I raised the clock. From then on,
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: the cookie jar became a concept I've employed whenever I
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: need a reminder of who I am and.
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: What I'm capable of.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: We all have a cookie jar inside us because life,
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: being what it is, has.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: Always tested us.
• 6:07
  Speaker 1: Even if you're feeling low and beat down by life
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: right now, I guarantee you can think of a time
• 6:12
  Speaker 1: or two when you overcame odds and tasted success. It
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: doesn't have to be a big victory either. It can
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: be something small. I know we all want the whole
• 6:23
  Speaker 1: victory today, but when I was teaching myself to read,
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: I would be happy when I could understand every word
• 6:30
  Speaker 1: in a single paragraph.
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: I knew I still had a long way to go to.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Move from a third grade reading level to that of
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: a senior in high school, but even a small win
• 6:42
  Speaker 1: like that was enough to keep me interested in learning
• 6:45
  Speaker 1: and finding more within myself. You don't drop one hundred
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: pounds in less than three months without losing five pounds
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: in a week. First, those first five pounds I lost
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: were a small accomplishment, and it doesn't sound like a lot,
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: but at the time it was proof that I could
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: lose weight and that my goal. However, improbable was not impossible.
• 7:07
  Speaker 1: The engine in a rocket ship does.
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Not fire without a small spark. First.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: We all need small sparks, small accomplishments in our lives
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: to fuel the big ones. Think of your small accomplishments
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: as kindling. When you want a bonfire, you don't start
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: by lighting a big log. You collect some witch's hair,
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: a small pile of hay, or some dry dead grass.
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: You light that and then add small sticks and bigger
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: sticks before you feed your tree stump into the blaze.
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: Because it's the small sparks which start small fires that
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: eventually build enough heat to burn the whole forest down.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: If you don't have any big accomplishments to draw on yet,
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: so be it. Your small victories are your cookies to
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: save her, and make sure you do savor them.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah. I was hard on myself when.
• 7:56
  Speaker 3: I looked in the accountability mirror, but.
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: I also pray myself whenever I could claim a small victory,
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: because we all need that, and very few of us
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: take the time to celebrate our successes. Sure, in the moment,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: we might enjoy them, but do we ever look back
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: on them and feel that win again and again?
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: Maybe that sounds narcissistic to you.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: But I'm not talking about droning on and bullshitting about
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: the glory days here. I'm not suggesting you crawl up
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: your own ass and bore your friends with all your
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: stories about what a badass you used to be. Nobody
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: wants to hear that. I'm talking about utilizing past successes
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: to fuel you to new and bigger ones. Because in
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: the heat of battle, when she gets real, we need
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: to draw inspiration to push through our own exhaustion, depression,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: pain and misery. We need to spark a bunch of
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: small fires to become the mother inferno. But digging into
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: the cookie jar when things are going south takes focus
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: and determination, because at first, the brain doesn't want to
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: go there. It wants to mind you that you're suffering
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: and that your goal is impossible. It wants to stop
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: you so it can stop the pain that not. In
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: San Diego was the most difficult.
• 9:08
  Speaker 3: Night of my life.
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: Physically, I never felt so broken, and there were no
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: souls to take. I wasn't competing for a trophy, there
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: was no one standing in my way.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: All I had to draw on to keep myself going
• 9:22
  Speaker 3: was me.
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: Anybody, not just Navy says, But anybody that could accomplish
• 9:26
  Speaker 1: anything that is hard, the only separator is is that
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: they really want to be there. There's some people that
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: get inspired and that inspiration moves them to try to
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: do something. But the inspiration is very high right now
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: in this nice environment. We're in a nice environment. The
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: ocean's out there. I'm talking to you. If I want
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: to go to refrigerator and get something to drink, eat,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: I can I watch a movie bout some badasses. You're inspired,
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: but the second not in this environment and you're actually
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: doing what inspired you.
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: That suck factor is now real.
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: You can't just get off your couch and get a shake,
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: or get a box of donuts, or turn the TV.
• 10:14
  Speaker 4: You're now there, and only those people who have been
• 10:18
  Speaker 4: there a million times in their minds and have lived
• 10:23
  Speaker 4: in that water and have suffered a million times and
• 10:26
  Speaker 4: realized my legs.
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: May break, my knee may break, my bones will hurt,
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: I will be the coldest I've been in my life.
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: I will be miserable and accept that because what happens
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: is when you get in a horrible situation in life
• 10:43
  Speaker 1: your mind. I caught my one second decision when you
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: get a horrible situation in life, your mind and media says,
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: get them out of here. Everybody does, even if you
• 10:51
  Speaker 1: want to be there. But it starts to have all
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: these different questions in your mind that one second and
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: it says, Okay, why are you here?
• 11:00
  Speaker 4: You do this? Why this?
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: Why that? And then you start to sell yourself if
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: you don't want to be there that bad. I'm a
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: beautiful wife at home. Man, Why am I doing this?
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: Man like? This is stupid.
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: This is gonna get these guys injured, like they're going
• 11:11
  Speaker 1: to pay for this for the rest of their lives.
• 11:13
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna break my body up to do this.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Your mind starts to say, yeah, this is stupid.
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: But if you have if.
• 11:21
  Speaker 1: You are already knowing that this is gonna happen to you,
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: you have all the answers to these questions that your
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: mind starts to give you when you're in suffer mode.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Nothing in my life has ever happened for me on
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: the first drive. It took me three cracks to get
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: through Navy seal training. I had to take the ad
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: bat five times and fail twice before breaking againness world
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: record for most pull ups in twenty four hours. But
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: by then failure had long since been neutralized. When I
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: set an unreasonable goal and fall short, I don't even
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: look at it as failure anymore.
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: It is simply my first, second, third, or tenth attempt.
• 12:02
  Speaker 2: That is what belief does for you.
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: It takes failure.
• 12:05
  Speaker 1: Out of the equation completely, because you go in knowing
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: the process will be long and arduous, and that is
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: what we do. I wish I could more fully express
• 12:19
  Speaker 1: what it's like to defy the medical mind, to parachute
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: into wildfires. At forty seven years old, I find the
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: sensation almost impossible to describe.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: All I can say is that I.
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: Hope you and everyone else get to feel this one day,
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: because to overcome all obstacles and bump up against the
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: outer reaches of your capabilities is the pinnacle in those rare,
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: fleeting moments when you are washed and the sense of
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: infinite possibility and overwhelmed with glory. Everything they ever did
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: to you or put in front of you. All the knockdowns,
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: breakdowns and fuse, and every bit of the pain, doubt
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: and humiliation can worth it. But the only way to
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: get there is to continually seek greatness and always.
• 13:06
  Speaker 3: Be willing to try one more time. I never needed
• 13:10
  Speaker 3: to be the hardest motherfcker in the world.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: That became a goal because I knew it would bring
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: out my best self, which is what this world.
• 13:18
  Speaker 3: Needs from all of us to evolve into.
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: The very best versions of ourselves. That's a moving target,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: and it isn't a one time task. It is a
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: lifelong quest for more knowledge, more courage, more humility, and
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: more belief. Because when you summon the strength and discipline
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: to live like that, the only thing limiting your.
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: Horizons is you.
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: And that's why I talk about the warrior mentality, and
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: that's why so many people are lost when I start talking.
• 13:48
  Speaker 3: You have the right.
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: You're lucky that you don't have to think like warriors think.
• 13:56
  Speaker 3: You're very privileged.
• 13:58
  Speaker 1: I chose this world to be warrior, and I would
• 14:01
  Speaker 1: choose it again if I came back to this world.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: But the mentality of a warrior is very different than
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: the normal mentality.
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: You must be that person.
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: On that door, oh, getting ready to open it, thinking
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: to yourself, if I die.
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: So be it.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: The only way you can go in that door is
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: knowing there's a great chance you're gonna die.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Like being a seal, you trained.
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: With live ammo, you jump on an airplane, everything you
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: do you could die. So to be a warrior, why
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: people don't understand me? I'm glad you don't understand me.
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: Merry Christmas.
• 14:37
  Speaker 3: Good on you, because being a warrior takes a.
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: Whole different mindset, a whole different mindset to know that
• 14:43
  Speaker 1: there's a great chance I.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: May not being ino like I was in for twenty
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: one years.
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: I'm lucky.
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: I'm very lucky that I'm alive, able to talk to you,
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: able to still run. But when you sign up on
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: that dial line to be a set like a seal,
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: your mentality changes. I may not live.
• 14:59
  Speaker 3: You got accept that, and that's the mentality you have