Latest / Suze Orman's Women & Money (And Everyone Smart Enough To Listen) / Friendship Isn't A Financial Plan
Transcript
- 0:08Suze: December 7th, 2025. Welcome everybody to the Women in Money podcast,
- 0:13Suze: as well as everybody smart enough to listen. And today
- 0:17Suze: is Suze School.
- 0:19Suze: So get out your Suze notebooks.
- 0:23Suze: And we're going to start Suze School with a story.
- 0:27Suze: And the lesson of the story is this friendship isn't
- 0:33Suze: a financial plan.
- 0:36Suze: Friendship isn't a financial plan, OK? That's the lesson of
- 0:43Suze: this story.
- 0:44Suze: Are you ready?
- 0:46Suze: So...
- 0:48Suze: I'm telling you this story truthfully because I really think
- 0:51Suze: every one of you needs to hear this, especially, you know, women,
- 0:56Suze: we tend to do things we don't want to do.
- 0:58Suze: We say yes when we want to say no. We
- 1:01Suze: think one thing, yet we say another, and I include
- 1:04Suze: myself in this, by the way. I've learned that lesson,
- 1:07Suze: trust me. My new lesson is don't say yes, Suze Orman,
- 1:10Suze: when you want to say no.
- 1:12Suze: So, if we're not careful, then this situation could possibly
- 1:17Suze: happen to you, and it can cost you a whole
- 1:21Suze: lot of money. There's this woman, and let's just call
- 1:24Suze: her Susan, OK.
- 1:27Suze: And she had about $2 million invested with a financial
- 1:32Suze: adviser who had been doing absolutely remarkable for her.
- 1:38Suze: And we're talking consistent 15, 20, even 28% returns over
- 1:44Suze: the past few years, which is spectacular.
- 1:48Suze: And he charged her a 1.5% advisory fee. Now, I know,
- 1:53Suze: I know, I told all of you I wouldn't be
- 1:55Suze: paying more than 1% in an investment advisory fee, but
- 2:00Suze: sometimes when an advisor is in incredible demand.
- 2:04Suze: And they are producing results like the ones I just
- 2:08Suze: told you about year after year after year that if
- 2:12Suze: they want to charge 1.5% and after that 1.5% fee
- 2:17Suze: they're still talking 15, 20, 28, 30% returns, I don't
- 2:22Suze: have a problem with that.
- 2:24Suze: So here we are.
- 2:27Suze: And one day, Susan is out to lunch with her really,
- 2:31Suze: really good friend. And what do good friends do? They
- 2:34Suze: always talk about their kids.
- 2:36Suze: And the good friend happens to say, Susan, my son
- 2:42Suze: just became a financial advisor.
- 2:46Suze: And is it possible that you could do me a favor?
- 2:51Suze: Do you think you would transfer your account to him
- 2:55Suze: so he can look like he has clients that have money?
- 3:00Suze: Think about what this good friend just asked Susan.
- 3:07Suze: To change her account to her son who just became
- 3:11Suze: a financial advisor.
- 3:14Suze: Just so he can look good.
- 3:16Suze: Now, besides the fact that I've told all of you.
- 3:19Suze: In general, I wouldn't pay more than 1% for an
- 3:23Suze: investment advisory fee unless the advisor is seriously worth it
- 3:27Suze: and the numbers tell the story.
- 3:30Suze: I've also said to you, I wouldn't dare invest with somebody,
- 3:36Suze: especially in these kinds of markets who hadn't been an
- 3:40Suze: advisor for at least five years, 10 years, 15 or
- 3:44Suze: 20 years, many, many years.
- 3:49Suze: I wouldn't touch it with a ten-foot pole.
- 3:54Suze: However, OK, but because Susan didn't want to upset her friend.
- 4:00Suze: Because even though she may have wanted to say no,
- 4:03Suze: she said, OK, yes, yes, I'll do it, and I
- 4:08Suze: find that most women say yes out of guilt.
- 4:12Suze: You know, I say this all the time.
- 4:14Suze: Women would rather say yes out of fear that somebody
- 4:18Suze: won't like them any more versus no out of love
- 4:23Suze: for herself.
- 4:25Suze: So what did she do? She actually called her financial
- 4:30Suze: advisor up.
- 4:33Suze: And told him, I'm moving my account.
- 4:37Suze: And when the adviser said, why in the world are
- 4:40Suze: you moving your account?
- 4:42Suze: And she said, well, number one, and the most important
- 4:47Suze: reason is because he's only charging me 1% instead of 1.5%.
- 4:56Suze: OK, now I just want you to think about this.
- 5:00Suze: And this is the Suze School lesson of the day
- 5:05Suze: and the one mistake I want you always to avoid.
- 5:09Suze: You never base financial decisions on friendship. You never judge
- 5:15Suze: an adviser solely by their fee.
- 5:18Suze: It's not the fee that matters. It's the results. It's
- 5:23Suze: the track record. It is the performance. Would you rather
- 5:27Suze: pay someone 1.5% who has proven that they can make
- 5:32Suze: you real sizable returns year in and year out?
- 5:37Suze: Or 1% to someone who's absolutely brand new.
- 5:41Suze: Untested.
- 5:43Suze: And simply hoping to save that half a percent and
- 5:46Suze: to help them out.
- 5:49Suze: You have to know the answer to that. You just
- 5:52Suze: have to know.
- 5:54Suze: And the lesson here is what friendship is not a
- 5:58Suze: financial plan. Guilt is not a strategy. Do you get this, everybody?
- 6:04Suze: And loyalty does not grow your money. It does not.
- 6:10Suze: So I want you to write this one lesson down.
- 6:13Suze: You must protect your own financial security, even if that
- 6:19Suze: means saying no to someone you care about.
- 6:25Suze: All right, so now that we know that friendship isn't
- 6:27Suze: a financial plan, the next thing I want you to
- 6:31Suze: learn is about tax-loss, harvesting the correct way. And the
- 6:36Suze: reason that I say the correct way is because a
- 6:40Suze: few weeks ago I talked about this, and I told
- 6:42Suze: you some of the things that I was doing in
- 6:44Suze: my own account, and then you go to do it
- 6:47Suze: and you write me and I go, no, no, don't
- 6:51Suze: do that.
- 6:52Suze: So, let's try this again.
- 6:56Suze: Tax-loss harvesting is when you have gains in your investment
- 7:02Suze: account outside of a retirement account and possibly losses as well.
- 7:08Suze: And you want to offset your gains with your losses
- 7:12Suze: so you don't owe as much in income tax as
- 7:15Suze: you would if all you had was gains. So let's
- 7:19Suze: talk about this. You need to first know the difference
- 7:23Suze: between realized gains versus unrealized gains.
- 7:29Suze: So what is a realized gain? A realized gain. Think
- 7:33Suze: of the words that I'm using. A realized gain is
- 7:38Suze: obviously you realized your gain. You actually got it, which
- 7:42Suze: means you sold something. You took a profit, and you
- 7:47Suze: took a profit because you sold it for more than
- 7:50Suze: you paid, and
- 7:51Suze: that's a realized gain. The IRS sees it, and then
- 7:56Suze: the IRS taxes you on it. Just that simple. What
- 8:01Suze: is an unrealized gain? And this again is just a
- 8:05Suze: fancy word for you haven't realized them. You have a profit,
- 8:11Suze: but you haven't sold it yet, so the gain lives
- 8:15Suze: only on paper. You haven't realized it, so there's nothing
- 8:19Suze: taxable yet.
- 8:22Suze: So how does tax-loss harvesting work? All right, just listen.
- 8:26Suze: Let's say you have a stock you don't want anymore,
- 8:30Suze: and it's sitting at a loss. You can sell that stock,
- 8:35Suze: realize the loss, and use that loss to offset any
- 8:40Suze: realized gains that you already have.
- 8:44Suze: That's one way that you can do it now. Sometimes
- 8:47Suze: you actually have more of a loss than you do gains.
- 8:51Suze: So if you don't use up all of your loss,
- 8:54Suze: you can carry it forward to future years.
- 8:58Suze: If you don't have any gain at all, you can
- 9:01Suze: take $3,000 off and keep doing that every year.
- 9:07Suze: So why am I telling you all this? Because a
- 9:12Suze: lot of you heard me say you sell your losses
- 9:17Suze: against your gains so you don't owe income taxes. But
- 9:21Suze: here's the problem, you never ever sell a stock at
- 9:27Suze: a loss if you want to own that stock, and
- 9:31Suze: you best write that down.
- 9:35Suze: You never sell a stock just to take a tax
- 9:38Suze: loss if you believe in that stock.
- 9:42Suze: Because listen to me, when a stock you love goes down,
- 9:45Suze: that is not the time to run from it. That
- 9:49Suze: is the time to do what, everybody? Dollar cost average
- 9:52Suze: into it. That is the time to buy more. So
- 9:56Suze: let's say you love Apple.
- 9:59Suze: And it drops. It's down. You don't sell it to
- 10:02Suze: take a tax loss. You buy more shares at a
- 10:05Suze: lower price and bring down your average cost. So can
- 10:09Suze: we just get that one thing straight? If you still
- 10:13Suze: want the stock, you keep it. You only sell a
- 10:17Suze: losing stock if you wanna get rid of it and
- 10:21Suze: you don't wanna own it anymore. Got that?
- 10:26Suze: So you really need to understand that. Because some of
- 10:30Suze: you are doing this because you're writing me.
- 10:33Suze: You have some losses in stocks that you actually like,
- 10:39Suze: stocks like Oracle.
- 10:41Suze: Stocks like PayPal, great stocks.
- 10:46Suze: And you wanna sell those stocks to take a loss,
- 10:50Suze: to offset some realized gains that you have in your portfolio,
- 10:55Suze: obviously outside of a retirement account.
- 10:59Suze: And I'm like, please don't do that. And people are
- 11:04Suze: asking me, well, why shouldn't I do that? And the
- 11:08Suze: reason you shouldn't do that is when you take a
- 11:11Suze: loss in a stock, you cannot buy that stock back
- 11:16Suze: for at least 30 days. Now, 30 days may seem
- 11:20Suze: like a really short period of time.
- 11:24Suze: But not in these markets. I have seen stocks go
- 11:28Suze: down 40 points and all of a sudden in two
- 11:32Suze: weeks they're up 60 points. So you think you're gonna
- 11:35Suze: outsmart these markets and all of a sudden you sold
- 11:38Suze: for a little loss and now 30 days hasn't passed
- 11:42Suze: and now you sold it at let's just say $50
- 11:46Suze: a share.
- 11:47Suze: You bought it at 60.
- 11:49Suze: And now it's at 80, but you weren't able to
- 11:51Suze: still be in it because you sold it at a
- 11:54Suze: loss simply to take a loss? No.
- 11:58Suze: Again, you only sell a loss when you no longer
- 12:04Suze: want to own that stock, and you can use that
- 12:07Suze: loss to help yourself for tax purposes. Anything else? I
- 12:12Suze: don't think so.
- 12:15Suze: So you're confused about that. If you have, however, a
- 12:19Suze: stock that you no longer want, which was true in
- 12:23Suze: my case, there were two stocks that I had a
- 12:26Suze: loss on, and I no longer wanted to own those stocks.
- 12:31Suze: I made a mistake. Fine, I'm going to take the loss.
- 12:36Suze: But at the time when I did that, I didn't
- 12:38Suze: have any realized gains to offset that loss.
- 12:44Suze: I didn't realize any gains yet. I had a lot
- 12:47Suze: of unrealized gains, lots of unrealized gains, but no realized gains,
- 12:53Suze: cause I still like all the stocks that I own,
- 12:57Suze: except for those two. OK.
- 13:00Suze: So what did I do? And this was just an example.
- 13:04Suze: I sold the number of shares of stock that I
- 13:08Suze: had a big gain in that was equivalent to the
- 13:12Suze: loss that I was taking, so they offset each other directly.
- 13:19Suze: So what did I do then? I immediately bought the
- 13:23Suze: stock that I had to gain in back, the exact
- 13:26Suze: same numbers of shares. Now, what did I gain by
- 13:29Suze: doing that?
- 13:31Suze: Let's just say I bought that stock at seven.
- 13:35Suze: And now that stock is 160 or 70.
- 13:41Suze: Which is true in this one particular stock, Palantir.
- 13:45Suze: So even if I just sold 10 shares of Palantir
- 13:50Suze: to offset my loss, let's say that was true.
- 13:53Suze: And I bought those 10 shares back immediately. Now my
- 13:57Suze: cost basis on those 10 shares
- 14:01Suze: is $170 a share. If Palantir continues up, and I
- 14:07Suze: now sell it at, let's just say $300 a share.
- 14:12Suze: I'm only going to have a gain of 130 points
- 14:17Suze: versus $7 to $300. Do you understand what I did?
- 14:24Suze: So don't think it's just so simple where you sell
- 14:28Suze: stocks to offset gains.
- 14:31Suze: You only sell stocks that have a loss in it
- 14:34Suze: to offset gains if you don't wanna own those stocks
- 14:39Suze: ever again.
- 14:42Suze: Am I clear on that now?
- 14:45Suze: So, I have one more Suze school for you today.
- 14:49Suze: And this lesson is about we live in a day
- 14:52Suze: and age where scamming is rampant.
- 14:57Suze: And you cannot be somebody who just sticks your head
- 15:01Suze: in the sand, and you don't check your statements, you
- 15:03Suze: don't check your accounts, you don't check your credit reports,
- 15:06Suze: you don't look at your credit score. You cannot do
- 15:10Suze: that in a day and age like this. You have
- 15:13Suze: to freeze your credit reports. You have to do things
- 15:16Suze: that protect you.
- 15:18Suze: And by the way, I'm just going to say, and
- 15:19Suze: to that end, come March next year, I will have
- 15:23Suze: something that will seriously protect you and would have protected
- 15:28Suze: you in this particular situation, but you're going to have
- 15:31Suze: to wait for March to see that, OK.
- 15:35Suze: And here's how it goes from Cheryl.
- 15:38Suze: I've been a fan of yours and always have been
- 15:40Suze: grateful for your advice and wisdom. In 2022, I purchased
- 15:46Suze: two I bonds.
- 15:48Suze: With all the financial fraud, I check all my investments
- 15:52Suze: at the beginning of every month.
- 15:54Suze: On July 4th I was unable to access my Treasury
- 15:59Suze: Direct account.
- 16:00Suze: As I never received an OTP and an OTP is,
- 16:05Suze: once you go to sign in, they send you a
- 16:08Suze: one-time password, and that's the password that you use.
- 16:13Suze: Again, Treasury Direct is a governmental institution.
- 16:19Suze: And most people who wanna buy Series I bonds, inflation bonds,
- 16:24Suze: you have to buy them through Treasury Direct and have
- 16:28Suze: a Treasury Direct account, OK? So you would imagine, wouldn't you,
- 16:34Suze: that they were safe and sound. Please listen to this story.
- 16:39Suze: To make a long story short, someone changed the bank
- 16:44Suze: linked to my account and requested a distribution which was
- 16:49Suze: completed on July 8th. No one from Treasury Direct verified
- 16:54Suze: that it was me, and my account of just $11,000
- 17:00Suze: was emptied.
- 17:03Suze: Even worse, my account was still locked. I called repeatedly
- 17:08Suze: with no adequate response and did not find out about
- 17:12Suze: this fraud until TD sent an email to my secondary
- 17:17Suze: email in October. This was July. Now it's October. Because
- 17:24Suze: I don't always check that email. Oh, I will do
- 17:28Suze: it daily now.
- 17:29Suze: I only found out about it at that time.
- 17:33Suze: I called at 8 o'clock in the morning asking to
- 17:36Suze: speak with a fraud specialist.
- 17:39Suze: And I was told that the only communication available to
- 17:44Suze: me was to respond to the email when I continued
- 17:48Suze: to argue with the person that I was talking to.
- 17:52Suze: Her name was Rose, by the way, she hung up
- 17:54Suze: on me.
- 17:56Suze: I did respond to the email, but I Googled, Treasury
- 18:00Suze: Direct complaints and found many similar stories. Every person posting
- 18:07Suze: about these problems had their money sent to a checking
- 18:11Suze: account at Pathword National Association.
- 18:16Suze: And it goes on and on. Now I obviously wrote
- 18:20Suze: Cheryl back a variety of things that she should do
- 18:22Suze: and she should try, but the first thing I wanna
- 18:25Suze: say to all of you, if any of you are
- 18:28Suze: connected with Pathword National Association or if you have any
- 18:35Suze: account that does business with them.
- 18:38Suze: I am warning you right here and right now, I
- 18:41Suze: would change that account. If you look them up, if
- 18:46Suze: you Google them and everything, you can see all the
- 18:49Suze: complaints that they have against them.
- 18:52Suze: But the reason that I'm telling you this story is
- 18:56Suze: that you would think that the money that you have
- 18:58Suze: in your Treasury Direct account is the safest of them all.
- 19:05Suze: Obviously it may be, but it may not be.
- 19:10Suze: So it wouldn't kill you to check it all the time,
- 19:14Suze: meaning at least once a month, twice a month, and
- 19:18Suze: pay attention to your secondary email addresses just in case
- 19:24Suze: Treasury Direct happens to contact you.
- 19:28Suze: All right. Do I think that's enough for Suze School today?
- 19:33Suze: I think I do. So what did we learn? We
- 19:36Suze: learned that friendship is not a financial plan. We learned
- 19:40Suze: that you only sell stocks at a loss to offset
- 19:45Suze: gains when you no longer want to own those stocks,
- 19:50Suze: and we learned that we have to be on top
- 19:53Suze: of all of our accounts.
- 19:56Suze: Everywhere we have an account and continuously check our credit reports,
- 20:01Suze: our credit scores, our statements, and make sure that everything
- 20:06Suze: is as it should be. So until Thursday when Miss
- 20:11Suze: Travis joins us again.
- 20:13Suze: For another Ask KT and Suze and me thing, there's
- 20:17Suze: only one thing that I want you to know when
- 20:18Suze: it comes to your money, and it's this: people first,
- 20:22Suze: then money, then things. Now you stay safe.