Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #786 Parental Guidance Recap - Prayer, Parking & The Other P Word

Transcript

#786 Parental Guidance Recap - Prayer, Parking & The Other P Word · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families Podcast.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: It's the podcast for the.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Time poor parent who just wants answers.
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: Now, it's the Happy Families Podcast. I'm dot Justin Colson,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: the founder of Happy Families dot com dot AU. I'm
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: here with Kylie, my wife, mom to our six kids,
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: and our boy a boy. Have we got some stuff
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: to talk about. It's been a huge week on Parental Guidance.
• 0:21
  Speaker 2: We've talked about it for the last two episodes we've
• 0:23
  Speaker 2: played For those of you who are overseas and don't
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: get to see the show, we've played as much audio
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: as we possibly can. For those of you who haven't
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: seen it, hopefully you're catching up on the nine now app.
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: Parental Guidance returns again this Sunday night so that we
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: can find out more about Oh my goodness, there's some
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: big challenges coming up. What would you do if a
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: delivery driver knocked on the door and said, I've got
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: a package for you, but it's a bit heavy. Can
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: I bring it in and put on the kitchen bench? What
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: would you do if you're a nine year old answering
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: the door to that delivery driver. That's what we're going
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: to find out about.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: Who I was just about to say that chances are
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: they wouldn't have a chance to knock on the door
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: because most delivery guys leave it in the easiest place possible.
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: Do you know I caught the delivery guy dropping ten
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: boxes off to our house the other day and he
• 1:10
  Speaker 3: couldn't even ring the doorbell. He left it right in
• 1:13
  Speaker 3: front of the driveway, in front of our gate.
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: That sounds really flustering. It was, Yeah, I couldn't get
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: into my driveway. I can tell that was inconsiderate, wasn't it.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: So I think it's very highly unlikely that they wouldn't
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: even bother knocking.
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Today is not about your delivery driver woes. Today is
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: about the big stuff that we didn't get to talk
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: about over the last two episodes of the podcast because
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: there's been so much to talk about. Where do you
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: want to start?
• 1:39
  Speaker 3: This is really just a comment more than a conversation starter.
• 1:43
  Speaker 3: Deepak and Cardule.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the spiritual parents they had.
• 1:46
  Speaker 3: Just so beautiful.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Life is all about spiritual apparents, just taking a few
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable steps and expanding your circle of comfort.
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I love about this? Okay, it's
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: just so beautiful. We have got to talk about the
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: reverse park situation. Okay, our children are our greatest teachers.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: We've got to listen to our children. There's all of
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: this beautiful stuff that they're saying, but when the rubber
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: hits the road, literally they're in the car and there's
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: a reverse parking thing didn't work out quite so well.
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: We're going to come to that in a sec But
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: before we do that, can I just make a quick statement.
• 2:19
  Speaker 2: When it comes to spirituality in today's world, and specifically religiosity,
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: we've become deeply secularized. And while you and I have
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: a religious life, and this may sound self interested, I'm
• 2:31
  Speaker 2: speaking specifically as a scientist here. I love that these
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: people are on the show with their spirituality front and center,
• 2:40
  Speaker 2: like they've made a couple of really big areas. There's
• 2:42
  Speaker 2: a reason they didn't make it through to the final challenge.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: We saw the smoke lum mistakes, we saw the reverse
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: parking issue. They didn't know how to teach their children
• 2:50
  Speaker 2: about basic human anatomy and the reproductive system. There were
• 2:53
  Speaker 2: some really egregious errors that meant that, no matter how
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: beautiful they are, they didn't make it through to the
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: next challenge. But my goodness. I love the humility. I
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: love the humility they every time they make a mistake,
• 3:05
  Speaker 2: they say, I can see that I need to do better.
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's why we're here, that's why we need to
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: be we want to learn.
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: I love that. But I want to talk about the
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: secularization of our society and highlight specifically the morality that
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: comes with a spiritual life is absolutely, undeniably available to
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: people who are not religious and who are not spiritually oriented.
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to make any kind of an argument
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: that you must be spiritual or religious to be a
• 3:30
  Speaker 2: moral person. That's a load of garbage. But from a
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: scientific point of view, there is so much, so much
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: evidence that people who live in spiritual and religious communities,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: I guess do tend to live their life differently and
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: experience a whole lot of well being benefits. They're more
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: likely to have stronger social circles because the religious or
• 3:53
  Speaker 2: cultural community that they're associated with boosts them up. They're
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: more likely to volunteer and serve and give, which is
• 3:59
  Speaker 2: fantastic stick for our well being. They tend to be
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: more optimistic and hopeful about the future. In fact, I
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: could just give this huge long list of what secularization
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: is removing from the lives of people on the planet
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: today who are moving in that direction rather than the
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: spiritual direction. This isn't an advertisement for everyone going and
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: joining a church or anything like that. That's not what
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: I'm saying.
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: There are plenty of people out there who are spiritual
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: without having a religious totally belief structure around that. I
• 4:27
  Speaker 3: think for me, one of the things that really stands
• 4:29
  Speaker 3: out is people who have a spiritual belief structure, they
• 4:35
  Speaker 3: also have the capacity to slow down through their meditative states, prayer,
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: whatever you want to call it. In a world that
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: is just so fast paced, you've got this opportunity to
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: become reflective, to sit and to ponder, and to really
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: just meditate on the important things to you.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: So secularization and there's plenty of arguments about what it's
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: doing to our youth as well, But I love the
• 5:06
  Speaker 2: way Deepak incardial spiritual parents front and center. This is
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: the life we're trying to live, and they really gave
• 5:12
  Speaker 2: us a front seat view of how they do that
• 5:14
  Speaker 2: in their home. And my goodness, those kids.
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: I mean, oh, you said we weren't going to talk
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: about this very long. Yes, I know. But the other
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: thing that came out of their conference was the fact
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: that they live with their parents.
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, how generous.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Well it wasn't even that. It was the line where
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: they said, we are learning to let go of our
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: parenting inverted commons ours theirs and recognize that there are
• 5:42
  Speaker 3: things that we can learn and our children can learn
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: from our parents.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: And we're going to see that our kids have actually
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: grown from this influence of grandparents in their lives. It's
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: also again, it's us letting go of our complete hundred
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: percent parenting.
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: And I think about all of the conversations we have
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: on here from you know, listeners sending in their emails.
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: How do we deal with our grandparents? How do we
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: deal with you know, they're not parenting the way we want,
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: but they have.
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: Some wisdom to share.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and I've been that person. My mother in law
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: drives me crazy. My mother drives me crazy. There are
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: so many times where I get frustrated because they don't
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: know what I know. And yet there is just this
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: beautiful sense of humility that there is something I can
• 6:30
  Speaker 3: learn from them. And I wonder how much better our
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: families would be if we all felt that way.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I just think they're a beautiful, beautiful couple, and I
• 6:39
  Speaker 2: love their humility, like you said, But we.
• 6:40
  Speaker 3: Have to talk about Deepak and his comments.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: The reverse parking.
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: During reverse parking, here's what happened.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: Last no no no, no, no, no opposite.
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: Reloan yourself as well as Mela, but relowan yourself more.
• 6:57
  Speaker 2: One of the children, the youngest modula seven years old,
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: is being asked to give mom directions as she reversed,
• 7:03
  Speaker 2: parks the car, parallel parks the car. It's a tight squeeze.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: She's not allowed to use the mirrors.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: No mirrors, no cameras. Camera. We actually put cardboard and
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: tape over it so that they couldn't use them.
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: This for any driver would be a scary situation. Not me,
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: of course not.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: I live it back next tip.
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: Give yeah, they're not just straight, just go to.
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Then I hit the car, not for read when I
• 7:34
  Speaker 2: hit the cary. Okay, our kids need a voice. Our
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: kids need a voice. And he was humble about it,
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: and he learned his lesson beautifully. But what a what
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: a profound conversation to be able to have Now.
• 7:52
  Speaker 3: How many of us actually get a bird's eye view
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: of the way that we interact with others. We have
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: this ethos, we have this belief sister, you know, and
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: we espouse to being a parent who blah blah blah blah. Yeah,
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: how many of us actually get to see in real
• 8:09
  Speaker 3: time how that plays out on a day to day based.
• 8:12
  Speaker 2: With you, because this isn't really about Deepak, this is
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: about all of us. And I know there have been
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: a couple of times where the children have because kids
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: have always got their phones going, it's been a couple
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: of times where the kids have had the phone going
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: and they've been videoing whatever's going on in the kitchen
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: or the dining room of the living room. And then
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: an hour or two later, I walk past them as
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: they're playing it back, and I hear my voice and
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: I hear the way I'm speaking to one of the
• 8:33
  Speaker 2: kids about picking something up or helping out in the
• 8:35
  Speaker 2: kitchen or closing the fridge or turning off the light,
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: and I think to myself, Oh, my goodness, do I
• 8:39
  Speaker 2: sound like that?
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: Is?
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: Is that what I'm really like? Next time you're interacting
• 8:43
  Speaker 2: with your children about a discipline issue, record it, open
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: up your voice notes on your telephone and record it.
• 8:49
  Speaker 2: And have listened to yourself back when when you have
• 8:52
  Speaker 2: the chance and hear how you really sound, and also
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: ask yourself, if I wasn't recording it, would I sound
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: like this? Or am I sounding as good as I can?
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Because I'm it?
• 9:00
  Speaker 3: That's actually pretty cool.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: It's amazing you.
• 9:03
  Speaker 3: Would actually change the way you do things, even if
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: it was just because you pushed record.
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: This is why this TV show is so great, though,
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: because you get to see yourself in a way that
• 9:11
  Speaker 2: you don't normally see yourself. You get the objective.
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: View well, even with the stage parents. There was that
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: line where she said.
• 9:19
  Speaker 4: River is probably best known for his role of Jai
• 9:23
  Speaker 4: and Home and Away. He absolutely loves it. Sometimes I
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: force him to get photos with people because I don't
• 9:28
  Speaker 4: want to.
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: Be rude, And then as she was being questioned about
• 9:32
  Speaker 3: that in the room, she acknowledged that it was just
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: an off the cuff comment that she made and it
• 9:39
  Speaker 3: clearly didn't come across the way that it actually is.
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: We did this all the time.
• 9:45
  Speaker 3: This is just a powerful way for us to actually
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: hold the mirror up to ourselves and recognize that we're
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: all kind of in the same boat, right we have,
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: which is.
• 9:53
  Speaker 2: Why I don't want people to say that this is
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: a judge show, because it's not. I think these families
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: are just so brave and they've all done such a
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: great job. Kylie, we need to talk about a second
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: big thing that happened this week. I mean, there are
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: about eight more things we could talk about, but I
• 10:10
  Speaker 2: have to talk about the teen parents and their oldest son, Matthew,
• 10:15
  Speaker 2: and the way that he responded. And also wasn't just Matthew,
• 10:17
  Speaker 2: it was also Zion, the stage parents son. Two boys
• 10:22
  Speaker 2: in front of a computer screen and the prompts come up,
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: you need to be eighteen or over, you need to
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: be an adult to continue.
• 10:29
  Speaker 3: In some ways, this challenge feels a little bit unfair,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: right because I've got two boys, and you've got a
• 10:36
  Speaker 3: seventeen year old plus a thirteen year old, and then
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: you've got what was it, two eleven year old girls
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: or a seven year old? Yeah, yeah, yeah, a seven
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: year old girl and an eleven year old girl. And
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: before you even watch the footage, you can almost be
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: certain you know where this is going to go and
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: how each of those children are going to respond. But
• 10:56
  Speaker 3: I think what came out of it was the dialogue
• 10:59
  Speaker 3: that followed those challenges. And the absolute double standard we
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: have as a society about what is appropriate behavior for
• 11:10
  Speaker 3: girls and boys.
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: I mean, I'm actually fine, he's a boy. We discussed pornography,
• 11:17
  Speaker 4: all that kind of stuff. I know that he's seen it.
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: I mean, look, at the end of the day, boys
• 11:22
  Speaker 4: are curiously going through that sort of stage in their life.
• 11:26
  Speaker 5: So if your daughter was doing it, do you think
• 11:27
  Speaker 5: she would have clicked jess or no?
• 11:30
  Speaker 4: Do you think now she's not interest She's not that
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: type of person. Can I ask do we have different
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: standards and for girls and boys?
• 11:38
  Speaker 5: Maybe it's just a bit of a cultural norm that, well,
• 11:40
  Speaker 5: it's okay for boys to do that, but would be
• 11:42
  Speaker 5: surprised if the girls did.
• 11:44
  Speaker 4: Well, I think girls get tarnished for being explicit and
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: for being sexual.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: Yeah, for sure, that was really uncomfortable that it was fine,
• 11:53
  Speaker 5: it's you know, this is what teenage boys do.
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: That's fine.
• 11:55
  Speaker 5: Well, but my girls would never do that. And that's
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: like total double standard that it's okay your sons to
• 12:01
  Speaker 5: objectify someone else's daughter. Like, that's what it comes down to,
• 12:05
  Speaker 5: she's someone's daughter.
• 12:06
  Speaker 2: I'm just going to say it. Pornography is a blight
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: on our society, not just for children, for adults as well.
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: But I'm not going to get caught up in the
• 12:14
  Speaker 2: conversation about whether adults should shouldn't be consuming about it.
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: What I am going to get caught up in is this.
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: There is not a shred, not a little bit, not
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: the slightest, scantest a little bit of evidence out there
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: that supports the idea that consuming explicit content for children
• 12:30
  Speaker 2: can possibly have any benefits for them. It only has
• 12:33
  Speaker 2: negative outcomes. And yet we're in a world that is
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: absolutely flooded with it. I said it in the show
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: and I'll say it again. The research evidence that we
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: do have suggests that a fourteen to seven year old
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: boys the number one consumer of explicit content in the world.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: And they proved that, and we saw that happen in
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: the show with no hesitation. And I love Mark and
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: Lean the teen parents, but the attitude that they've brought
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: to it, the oh, well, I know they're going to
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: be looking at it once the door is closed, late
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: at night, they're in their bedroom, I've got their phones.
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: Who knows what they're really looking at? We do know
• 13:03
  Speaker 2: what they're really looking at, and it's a problem because
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: it changes their beliefs, and it changes their behaviors. It
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: affects the way that they interact with the girls that
• 13:10
  Speaker 2: they date, or the boys for that matter, depending on
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: how they're oriented in the world. It affects every single
• 13:16
  Speaker 2: thing that happens in terms of those expectations when they
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: have those interactions, and what happens in those interactions can does,
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: and will cast a long shadow into the lives, particularly
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: of the girls who are affected by their behavior in
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: that situation.
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: I would also suggest that it would actually increase the
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: likelihood of earlier activity.
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: As far as I'm aware, we don't have any evidence
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: for that. That is, if you start viewing explicit content earlier,
• 13:44
  Speaker 2: we don't necessarily have evidence that you're going to end
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: up engaging in physically intimate sexual activity earlier. But what
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: we do know is when you do engage in it,
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: your expectations have been affected by what you've seen. And
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be really explicit about this, so please parents,
• 14:01
  Speaker 2: If your little kids are listening, you probably want to
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: just press pause and come back to this in a
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: mineral or two. If your big kids are listening, I'm
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: not going to be going too far or anything like that.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: I've had so many parents come up to me at
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: school nights when I've given a talk about this kind
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: of topic, and there's usually dads and they've taken Mark's approach.
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: So again, this isn't about Mark and Leanne. Now, this
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: is about how parents are viewing this situation.
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: And I guess that's my comment from the beginning. It's
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: a conversation about a different standard that we hold for
• 14:27
  Speaker 3: our boys as opposed to our girls. The conversation around
• 14:32
  Speaker 3: our boys are curious doesn't hold up for me because curiosity.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: If I have a curious child, where do I want
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: them to go to find the answers?
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: You want them to go to you? Not to the Internet,
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: not to Google, not to pornhub.
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: That's basically just abdicating my responsibility as a parent. So
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: here's the point I got my kids. Here's the point
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: that I really want to make though. The content that
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: kids see on the Internet today when they're looking up
• 15:00
  Speaker 3: thing explicit, It's true that there's a whole lot of
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: content that's out there that's I guess in line with
• 15:05
  Speaker 3: what we think of from the nineteen eighties nineteen nineties,
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: the glossy magazines that quote unquote Dad used to hide
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: under the bed.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: Not the might out or your dad ever did that.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: But that's the standard line that's out there. The material
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: that's out there today is not like that. Today's most
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: popular explicit content. Today's most popular pornography, according to all
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: of the researchers that I've talked to or read from,
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: is violent. It's misogynistic. It includes apps including choking, hitting, slapping, spitting, punching.
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: It includes harm being done to women, and if not harm,
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: derogation and belittling. It includes things that most adult women
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: who have any level of confidence in their sexuality are
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: not going to be seeking in their intimate involvement with
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: somebody that they love and cherish and want to be with.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: The conversation about pornography is critically important, and we saw
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: why in parental guidance, because these kids were just happy
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: to click the button. There was no hesitation.
• 16:16
  Speaker 3: So there wasn't actually a lot of conversation on the
• 16:18
  Speaker 3: show about how we empower our kids and give them
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: the skills that they need to be able to navigate
• 16:27
  Speaker 3: this challenge. I mean, the reality is our kids are curious.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, So I've written for the federal government on the
• 16:32
  Speaker 2: e safety Commissioner's website, several articles. We've also got a
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: couple of podcasts where we've discussed this as well. Here
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: it is in like fifteen seconds or less. Number one,
• 16:42
  Speaker 2: teach your kids what pornography is and let them know
• 16:45
  Speaker 2: that it's bad for them. Research shows that are on average,
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: they're seeing it somewhere around the age of eleven or
• 16:49
  Speaker 2: twelve on average. Some kids are obviously therefore seeing a
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: lot younger, some are seeing it older. You know your kids,
• 16:54
  Speaker 2: but also you don't know everything, So somewhere between the
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: age of I'm going to say eight and twelve, want
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: to sit down and have a conversation about what pornography
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: is and ask them to avoid it. Ask them if
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: their friends have talked about it, ask them if they've
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: seen it, and then talk early and talk often. Talk
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: about issues around consent, talk about issues around explicit content.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Ask what's happening in the playground, and make these conversations normalized.
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: The kids can feel safe. If your kids have seen it,
• 17:19
  Speaker 2: you actually want to say to them, not necessarily what
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: did you see, but more how do it make you feel?
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: And you want to normalize the fact that if you
• 17:26
  Speaker 2: see something explicit, something mood or something sexual. It's probably
• 17:30
  Speaker 2: going to actually make you feel a little bit interested
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: and curious and maybe even aroused and excited, but it's
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: also probably going to make you feel a little bit iicky,
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: like you know that you're not supposed to be watching this.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: I think you've got to have the conversation with your
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: kids and be upfront and honest about it. The influencerp
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: pearances are all about that, right, Have the honest, upfront conversations,
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: do it early, do it often. That's where my sense
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: is we can have the biggest impact. For more. We
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: can link in the show notes too where you can
• 17:59
  Speaker 2: get better resources. But I think that's a quick summary, Kylie.
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: We've barely scratched the surface. Says so much more we
• 18:05
  Speaker 2: could talk about, but we have absolutely blasted through our
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: time limits for this podcast. I hope, folks that you're
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: enjoying the discussions. You're having fun. Yeah, and I love
• 18:14
  Speaker 2: how our kids are enjoying the show as well. The
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Happy Family Podcast returns with the Older Better tomorrow first
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: thing in the morning. We can't wait to share that
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: with you, and then Sunday night, episode five of Parental Guidance.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: We are introduced to four new sets of parents, a
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: whole lot of new challenges. It's going to be a cracker.
• 18:31
  Speaker 2: Can't wait.