Latest / Jess Ask / From Activism to Podcasting | FT Cookie Brown | EP78

Transcript

From Activism to Podcasting | FT Cookie Brown | EP78 · Jess Ask

• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Yo, it's your girl Jessica and Smith and you already
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: know that you've entered the safe space for influencers to decompress,
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: have fun and just ask God for do you already
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: know what it is?
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: And then you know it's about to get real, So
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: be sure to show.
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: Your girl the love and like, come in subscribe God
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: for another day.
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: Hey, hey, I know we could be another way, y'all.
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: Guests, what guess what today is?
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: It is Thursday, and you have entered the safe space
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: for influencers to decompress, have fun, and just ask your
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: girl Jessica as Smith and baby, you know I'm excited
• 0:52
  Speaker 1: to have you in this space. Look, we have it awesome, awesome, awesome, awesome,
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: awesome and I mean awesome interview today with someone special.
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: But before y'all already know how we do it. That's
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: all right, that's all right?
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: Does all right?
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: Does?
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: Does rays stop hopping me up like that?
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: You gotta put that on the one, and too, we
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: gotta put that on the one and too. We're gonna
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: have to go ahead and drop drop by my cousin Sherman. Yeah,
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: we're gonna we're gonna record. Well, we gotta have a verse. Oh,
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: we gotta have some words. Yeah, so you have to
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: write a little bit. I just was gonna be the
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: hype person. No, that's my job, like the desert rate. Okay,
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: well I supposed to be saying something in the midst
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: of the thing in the Okay.
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: Great, Hey, y'all, wellcome to the space.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: We're here for another episode, another episode, y'all.
• 1:48
  Speaker 4: Listen. I'm super excited about this episode.
• 1:51
  Speaker 1: But y'all you know that we have another sponsor for
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: this episode, and we're super excited.
• 1:57
  Speaker 4: I think I've had an epiphany.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I just I've had a lot of epiphanies later, and
• 2:02
  Speaker 1: it's just so happened that we're at Epiphany Hair Fashion
• 2:07
  Speaker 1: Bootique Baby right here in Trustville, Alabama. We are super
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: excited about our partnership.
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: Listen. Nedda is so sweet. She is she is. She
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: is a ball of joy.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: Listen, if you heard, if you watch her episode, then
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: you are you already know. Nedda is a ball of joy.
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: And I was shot with her any day because she is.
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: She is in the embodiment of a brand. She don't
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you know how, folks, you know how a hair stylists
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: don't have their hair done, but they claim their hairstylists.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: But is that because dese way you can speak to
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: that is that because they don't have time to do
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: that hair.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: That's what it is. It is.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Okay, well maybe that was a bad bad company, don't know,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: but kind of you know, like you say, you do
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: have a you know, you have little world.
• 2:48
  Speaker 4: But anyway, she is always on points every time I sink.
• 2:52
  Speaker 4: She don't get.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Everything. It's just a beautiful soul, you know. So we're
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: very grateful to be in this space, and we just
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: want to shout you all. Y'all y'all in Trustville, you know,
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: make sure y'all stop by and pick up your little
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: something something.
• 3:09
  Speaker 4: But not only not only if you're not even in Trustville.
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: Black She's online www dot Epiphany hair fashion dot com.
• 3:19
  Speaker 4: Okay, I'm gonna say that again for the people in.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: The back and the bike w w dot Epiphany hair
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: fashion dot com.
• 3:27
  Speaker 4: You can look at that.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: Okay, she's about to come out with a false Fog
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: collection soon. Y'all know, y'all like to be uh in
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: the usuals, cause you they like to be individuals desert
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: right yep.
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: Listen.
• 3:39
  Speaker 1: So I also had another epiphany about my guest today.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: I love this I love this girl. I love it.
• 3:46
  Speaker 4: I love her.
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: Because we connect on so many levels. She is I
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: almost say she is my alter ego. She is the
• 3:55
  Speaker 1: the extrovert that we probably all want to be.
• 3:58
  Speaker 4: Y'all. I've known this girl since twenty twenty three.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: We met at the podcast Summit, and when I met her,
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: never knew that she would be the person that I
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: would connect with. But she the reason why we connect
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: is because she took herself seriously. Like literally, both of
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: us had an epiphany, no pun intended. We had an
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: epiphany of regarding who we were, where did we want
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: to take our brand?
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: What do we want to look like? And we've been
• 4:23
  Speaker 4: rocking ever since.
• 4:23
  Speaker 1: I respect her highly because her hustle is not like
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: none other.
• 4:28
  Speaker 4: She is also a podcaster.
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: Her podcast is entitled The Dirty Bad Podcast, which is
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: not only a podcast, it's an award winning podcast. Baby
• 4:38
  Speaker 1: like she out here winning awards and everything. Now now
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: this I'm about to tell y'all her name. Now, this
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: young lady is. One thing I like about her is
• 4:46
  Speaker 1: she speaks her mind. But not only she speaks her mind.
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: She is very vocal about things that's going on in
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: our world. In our atmosphere that we need to pay attention.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: And she puts a spin and give you a different perspective.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: Some of y'all that are uncomfortable are just stuck in
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: your ways. And baby, she she is gonna give it
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: to you.
• 5:06
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 5:06
  Speaker 1: She is an activist, she is a mother. Okay, she's
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: a growl woman.
• 5:14
  Speaker 4: She does whatever she wants.
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: I have the honor in bringing my sister, my friend,
• 5:20
  Speaker 1: my colleague. I would say none other than the the one,
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: the only cookie bride.
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: You can't nobody ever do my intro again. You don't
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: come with that. Baby, I'm logging out. I'm going the
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: hell home, because what are we doing? You will not have?
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: Did I do?
• 5:42
  Speaker 4: Good cookie introduction you?
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: It's the oil the Holy Spirit guy to that the
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: Holy Spirit guy, and that guy put his hands on
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: that mike and said, do this well, my child, and
• 5:54
  Speaker 2: you did. You delivered like little Caesar, and I'm not
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: mad about it. Thank you.
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: I forgot to add that she's a comedian, so brace
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: yourself for this show. Cookie Cookie cooky, Hey girl, how
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: you doing.
• 6:17
  Speaker 4: I'm excited for you to be here too.
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: I think that it's probably overdue, but God's timing is
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: the best timing.
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: It is.
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: I'm excited for them, for my people to get to
• 6:27
  Speaker 1: know you. I really am. I really meant every word
• 6:31
  Speaker 1: and an introduction like I really look up to you.
• 6:33
  Speaker 1: I really When I met you at the podcast summit,
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: I never imagined that you would be a point of
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: interest for me. Not because I wouldn't be interested in you,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: but I didn't think that you would be.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: Interested in me.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: But it just goes to show that you never know
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: who you're gonna cross paths with, and to give everybody
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: a chance and be open minded. You have been a
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: beast in these streets girl, Like you've been moving like
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: you are very intentional about out every move, and you're
• 7:01
  Speaker 1: not scared to make a move, like you just go,
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: you just go.
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: I was at first. What's funny is you said, like
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: a point of interest. I didn't think I would be
• 7:10
  Speaker 2: a point of interest for you because you just wasn't
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: outside like that like you. What I loved about you
• 7:14
  Speaker 2: at Podcasts Summing is that you did not compromise on
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: your values. While we was out drinking and stuff, he
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: was like, no, she had a little notebook and a
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: little stuff She was like, hey, I came here for
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: one reason or one reason only. When you were done
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: with that one thing, you took your butt back to
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: your room. I said, okay, all right, Pastor and the food,
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: I get it. I respect it. I was like, I
• 7:32
  Speaker 2: respect it. She ain't coming outside. She's not fooling with
• 7:35
  Speaker 2: us like that. There was a lot of foolery out there.
• 7:38
  Speaker 2: There was a lot of foolery.
• 7:41
  Speaker 4: Cookie, let me tell y'all, could you said to me
• 7:43
  Speaker 4: this year? So we met.
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: We were one of the original people that went to
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: the original podcast something and we met in Miami. Y'all
• 7:51
  Speaker 1: shout out today, Shout out today, shades for bringing people together. Yes,
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: and uh they have they're having different Everybody was doing
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: these little meet ups before and so Cookie went up
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: went to the meet up which was more into me.
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: I don't know where we went was like bowling, a
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: ping pong or golf or something like that. I don't
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: know what it was. But we went there and I
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: met her and some other people that I still watch,
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: but not like as on the level as Cookie. And Yeah,
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: I wasn't drinking. I had made up in my mind.
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: I was like, I'm not here for that, like I'm
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: here too, I'm nervous. I'm here by myself. I don't
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: know nobody. I'm not staying with nobody Like this was.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Everything was new. And when Cookie and I we would
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: see each other, we weren't even interacting heavily or whatever.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: But I followed her, she followed me, and I paid attention.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: We exchanged information, but I paid attention to how this
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: girl moved. And so coming back to twenty twenty four
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: podcast summit, we kind of reflected on it and Cookie
• 8:53
  Speaker 1: was like, I didn't even know you drink, And I said, no,
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: I have drug. But even this year, I'm you know,
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: I'm I what is it not clear?
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: Dry? That's why I said I'm dry?
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: And Cookie goes, well, you didn't drink last year even
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: I had forgotten about that.
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: You didn't do you? Literally I think you might have.
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: I don't feel like you. I'm like, did you come
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: out for a second and then dip? I feel like
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: you just had the only action interactions you had were
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: within the summit. That's you. Literally was like, this is
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: what I came from, this is what I'm doing.
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: And did Yeah.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: Indeed, yeah, she got more y'all if.
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: Y'all had question if I really like this outside, like
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: if I try to care aboutself cookie telling y'all.
• 9:36
  Speaker 2: But because trust me, everybody in Mama was trying to
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: be outside. People was definitely trying to be outside and
• 9:40
  Speaker 2: inside of something.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: And I found you the one who told me that
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: you do want to have told me that. But I
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: will say, even though you was outside, you was using
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: it for content.
• 9:50
  Speaker 2: I was using it for content because at first that
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: was my first vacation. The only vacations I've had in
• 9:55
  Speaker 2: the past two years was connected connected to podcasting, which
• 9:58
  Speaker 2: is crazy. I've done nothing of leisure like really for myself,
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: traveling wise. Everything has been podcasts in the past few years.
• 10:05
  Speaker 4: Why is that.
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: Well, first of all, I put my head down, you know,
• 10:09
  Speaker 2: and I and and that year I was working two
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: full time remote jobs, so I would take two laptops
• 10:18
  Speaker 2: to the studio. So what y'all saw was me recording episodes.
• 10:21
  Speaker 2: But it was two laptops and I was tapping in
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: like getting on one sales call, get on another one.
• 10:25
  Speaker 2: It wore me out. I had to drop that and
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: then I had a drop one. And then guy said, oh,
• 10:29
  Speaker 2: how about this, Let's see if you really about what
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: you said, yeah, or remove this one too. So when
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: you go for a fledge into this thing, like, you
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: gotta sacrifice some stuff. And I had a lot of
• 10:39
  Speaker 2: sacrifices going into twenty twenty four. Like I just had
• 10:42
  Speaker 2: to sit my butt down somewhere, which is not what
• 10:45
  Speaker 2: I'm used to at all. But you used to being
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: outside hustling doing what you need to do, because you're not.
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: It's not just you. You got you have two kids, right, Well.
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: Somebody gave me a phrase. I got two only childs.
• 10:57
  Speaker 2: So my daughter's shot, my son is grown. I got
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: a twenty two year old girl, so he's like, he's
• 11:01
  Speaker 2: out the house. But you know, twenty two when they're
• 11:03
  Speaker 2: trying to find their way, they come back home for
• 11:05
  Speaker 2: a little bit. Yeah, they still have to parent two
• 11:08
  Speaker 2: different ways.
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: So you got a twenty to your old son, and
• 11:13
  Speaker 1: then you have a two stars okay, and she's beautiful,
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: by the way, and she is gorgeous.
• 11:23
  Speaker 4: How how are you? How do you Nevi?
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: What's let's let me ask you this the difference of
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: the motherhood, right, because obviously you were much younger when
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: you had your twenty two old son.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: How do you How have you developed as a mom.
• 11:36
  Speaker 2: Well, I had almost two decades to figure out some stuff.
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: So my son, little crash test, here's my little guinea pig.
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: I got to mess up a lot with him. So
• 11:44
  Speaker 2: with her, when I got pregnant with her, that was
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: the That was the daughter I always wanted, and so
• 11:50
  Speaker 2: I had years to like work through my mess ups
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: with my son. So with her, I was just intentional, like, look,
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to raise a fleet a free black girl here,
• 11:57
  Speaker 2: so let's me change some things about me and the
• 12:00
  Speaker 2: way I view the world and the way I talked
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: to her. I was parenting my son the way I
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: was raised, like kept him on a tight leash because
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I grew up in North Saint Louis, even though that
• 12:08
  Speaker 2: ain't where he was born. I didn't want him to
• 12:11
  Speaker 2: get into trouble, so I didn't allow him very much freedom.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: And he was already introverted. So I was coming into
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: activism as he was coming into his preteen years, and
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: that's just the horrible combination. That's a young black man.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: You gotta be there during those years at twelve, thirteen, fourteen,
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: fifteen is pivotal. So I made mistakes in the name
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: of trying to be there for community with my daughter,
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: was like, I'm cutting off I'm cutting off negative energy.
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: I'm cutting off folks that ain't supportive. I'm gonna start
• 12:36
  Speaker 2: eating right. I'm not eating right right now. But during
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: that pregnancy, I was like vegan, like I really took
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: care of myself. But with her, I'll allow her to
• 12:44
  Speaker 2: have a voice as a little black girl. So when
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I'm being a little too harsh, so I'm not giving
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: enough affection, shit, baby, she she takes up space and
• 12:53
  Speaker 2: she lets you know, like that hurt my feelings, Like
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: don't can you not do that, mommy? Or I need
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: a hoog like that little girl, Like look, I'm here
• 13:00
  Speaker 2: in my fullness. I'm gonna take up space, and you're
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: gonna raise me right, and I'm gonna treat you. I'm
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: gonna train you on how I need to be raised.
• 13:07
  Speaker 2: So it's a completely different experience.
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: That's so good.
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: You brought up multiple points and even in you saying that,
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: so I'm curious to know. I know that one of
• 13:15
  Speaker 1: the things I brought up in your introduction is that
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: you're activist, and that has a lot of connections to
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: what you're doing.
• 13:21
  Speaker 2: Now.
• 13:22
  Speaker 4: You mentioned that.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: Your your activism started when your son was an adolescent.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: How did your activist what did your activism teach him?
• 13:33
  Speaker 4: And is he is he into that rem or what
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: is that?
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: Like he was like eleven, so well he was twelve,
• 13:42
  Speaker 2: So when Ferguson kicked off, I he saw the problem
• 13:47
  Speaker 2: in the community. Like he literally sat in a passenger
• 13:50
  Speaker 2: seat and watched Ferguson burn, you know what I'm saying.
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: So as a twelve year old boy, he saw it firsthand.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: But I think that him watching me be gone so
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: much and not be around, I wonder. I've never asked
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: him whether or not that put a bad taste in
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: his mouth, because something tells me some of it did.
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: Because he was going to a predominantly white school. So
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: mind you we dealing with all this stuff. This around
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: the time Trump getting ready to get in an office.
• 14:15
  Speaker 2: It was so much going on, so he knew, like
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: this community is messed up. But also like, look at
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: the time it took my mom away from me, Like
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: I would drive to Saint Louis and I would drop
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: him off with his grandmother. He would be with his
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: dad's family, And it happened so much that I was
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: missing the signs that he needed me there. He didn't
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: want to be He needed me to mother him instead
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: of me trying to go out in the streets and
• 14:40
  Speaker 2: mother other people. You know. So I left that well,
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: I walked away in twenty sixteen because I learned from
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: activism that you have to know balance. Yeah, community is important,
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: but so are you and your kids have one mother,
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: as one of the girls on my panel live show said, like,
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: you got one time with this parenting thing to get
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: it right. So yeah, you can do all these but
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: are your kids good? And sometimes of us that are
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: parents that try to be community involved, we lose sight
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: of that trying to take care of everybody else. No,
• 15:08
  Speaker 2: there has to be balance. And you got a parent,
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: you gotta take care of home before you take care
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: of everybody else.
• 15:14
  Speaker 1: You said something so powerful and and and I guess
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: I've never thought about the the the mirroring of a
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: parent can take a responsibility or assignment that's outside of
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: parenting to the point to the degree where it negates
• 15:33
  Speaker 1: them being a parent.
• 15:34
  Speaker 4: I remember growing up.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: You know, I don't know if you know this or not,
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: Cookie that I'm a PK, so I don't know if
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: this is Yeah, I'm a PK.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: No, I can never.
• 15:48
  Speaker 4: Wow girls up.
• 15:52
  Speaker 1: Amazing, But I am a PK and my experience with
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: being a PK is interested if I go back and
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: I and my dad talks about this. Now, even what
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: you said, that realization of I put the church before
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: my family. I made everything about the church, and I
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: even taught them to put the church before a family.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: So being an adult, I'm thinking that, I'm thinking that
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: it's more important to serve God in this way versus
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: doing what I need to do for myself. Like my
• 16:24
  Speaker 1: therapist asked me the other day, girl, she was like,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: when are you gonna choose you? That's why my therapist said,
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: And what you say, I shut up?
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: You paid for silence.
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: I didn't know what to say, cause it's like when.
• 16:46
  Speaker 1: You realize you have one of those revelations and it
• 16:49
  Speaker 1: just choked the living crap out of you. You're like, oh,
• 16:54
  Speaker 1: I ain't never thought of that, So I gotta go journal,
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: I gotta go be with myself with that, with that revelation.
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: But she came from my.
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: Didn't have anything to do with the fact that you'd
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: be trying to be at all these events.
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: No, it didn't have anything to do that she just
• 17:07
  Speaker 1: realized like different aspects of like, cause you know us
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: as women you talk about I love how you like
• 17:12
  Speaker 1: seem like to be a girl's girl like you, for you,
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: for our black women, baby you.
• 17:17
  Speaker 4: Us.
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: I'm I think I'm like a mean girl's girl, is
• 17:20
  Speaker 2: what I'm coming to terms with. Like people be thinking
• 17:22
  Speaker 2: I'm mean as hell. I'll be trying, like, but.
• 17:25
  Speaker 4: You're not mean. You're not mean, You're accurate, You're you're
• 17:28
  Speaker 4: very direct.
• 17:29
  Speaker 2: I'm not.
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: You know you're gonna use that for your tagline, I'm
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: not mean accurate.
• 17:35
  Speaker 2: Watch me, I'm doing a post. I'm I'm about to
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: remix some of your stuff as soon as I get
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: off here, and watch me shake a table to that.
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: Don't do that.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: You're so does a rays over here laughing.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: People in trouble with one quote and that's their blood
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: is on your hands. But what.
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I receive responsibility, But yeah, it makes it made me
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: think of that, and so I thank you for for one.
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I thank you for taking responsibility of you not hey girl,
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: taking responsibility of not being present in that moment it was.
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: It does not mean that you weren't a present mom.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: This is so good just because you weren't present in
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: a moment doesn't mean that you're not present period. Yeah,
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: and I think that I think you have a healthy
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: grip of that. Would you say that.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: I didn't at the time, because when I wasn't in
• 18:28
  Speaker 2: the streets, I was on the phone with people about
• 18:30
  Speaker 2: the streets. So that lifestyle just never leaves you. Which
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: I think a pastor would understand that as well. Is
• 18:35
  Speaker 2: that when I was home, because I was living in Kansas,
• 18:38
  Speaker 2: driving six and a half hours every weekend, the person
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: I were to the ground. So those were the only
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: relationships I had at that point were activists. I didn't
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: know how to talk to regular friends anymore. We just
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: didn't connect. So when you have friends and it's finna,
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: this can tie to a lot of things. When you
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: have friends that are not in that world and they're
• 18:54
  Speaker 2: not passionate, they don't care about it, they get tired
• 18:57
  Speaker 2: of hearing about it, they themselves because you ain't kicking
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: it no more. You're intentional about a thing, and when
• 19:03
  Speaker 2: people don't respect that thing, they're going to pull away
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: from you. They're gonna resent you. So now you're just
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: left being around these people. But these people got all
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: kinds of trauma. So you in this little bowl of
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: trauma with these people, and all y'all do is exchange
• 19:15
  Speaker 2: trauma every day all day. It gets lonely and weirdness
• 19:19
  Speaker 2: not healthy. So my son still got the scraps. When
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: we was at home, he heard me on the phone
• 19:23
  Speaker 2: talking about activism if I wasn't out there, so it
• 19:26
  Speaker 2: just I didn't have a grip on reality. I would
• 19:28
  Speaker 2: go to work, you know, for you know, however many
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: hours and then get right back on the phone about protests.
• 19:36
  Speaker 1: You you just said a mouthful. Okay, you just said
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: a mouthful. What I just heard you say is that
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: you were intentional about a decision that you made, and
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: those that were not intentional about the same decision were uninterested.
• 19:51
  Speaker 1: And it's and what I'm hearing is that that's where
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: some of the relationships died.
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: Is that correct?
• 19:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Or it died until they found a way to
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: benefit off of it. The flip side of protesting is
• 20:02
  Speaker 2: that because when y'all together all the time, y'all party together.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: So people wanted to come for the sunshine, but the
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: fun part of it, but the grit and the sacrifices
• 20:11
  Speaker 2: and things like that. I ended up losing relationships that
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: I had since like third sixth grade behind this, because
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: there's a thing called protest group is people don't know this,
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: but there are folks that like. It's the same thing
• 20:21
  Speaker 2: with podcasting. There are people that like to be attached
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: to folks doing a thing when it's exciting and it's
• 20:26
  Speaker 2: getting attention. And I had friends that didn't care about activism,
• 20:30
  Speaker 2: but they cared about coming to kick it. They cared
• 20:32
  Speaker 2: about trying to flirt with other protest It's just so
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: I literally lost relationships behind it that didn't see myself rekindling.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: So it was just And that was twenty sixteen. So
• 20:43
  Speaker 2: right now it's twenty twenty four and I'm still dealing
• 20:46
  Speaker 2: with the effects of that, like just the mental health side,
• 20:50
  Speaker 2: how some people lost their minds in that process and
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: mentally we can't talk anymore because they're just not there
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: and I don't know how to help them.
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: So you talking so good and so good right now,
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: I didn't even know. That's why I say, I let
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Holy Spirit tell me what we're gonna talk about, because
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: you're you're making me even though where I would imagine
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: Desray is over there, like she she'll sit there and
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: just digest the whole conversation. But one of the things
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: that I'm interested in knowing is how in the world
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: does Cookie Brown get into activism.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: It's because of how I grew up. I'm North Saint
• 21:24
  Speaker 2: Louis Is rough. We used to see the police and
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: me that's with people and all of that. So I
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: was mining my business when Mike Brown happened. I just
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: happened to take a nap, woke up, looked on Facebook,
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: and his cousin was a high school classmate of mine,
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: and she said, you shot my cousin like he had
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: his hands up. You know you ain't have to do that.
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh dag, that's messed up. Now I
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: start scrolling, I start seeing all these posts and people
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: standing at the yellow tank, which would later turn into protesters.
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: So I'm like, bruh, I grew up near this neighborhood,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: the cops always. It was just one of the moments
• 21:54
  Speaker 2: where it was like enough is enough. So I watched
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: everything happen for days straight, and I'm like, I'm going
• 21:58
  Speaker 2: home this weekend. So I got off of work, got
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: my son, drove out there and the first time you
• 22:03
  Speaker 2: come into that space and you see the media walking
• 22:06
  Speaker 2: around looking for stories. I remember a reporter from a
• 22:11
  Speaker 2: very small town called Levin in Missouri, a few hours
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: south of Saint Louis. She asked some black men to
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: pretend to loot so she could get photos because she
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: had to go back home with something. And when I
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: overheard this, I'm like, did she just tell y'all to
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: pretend to loot? So I got them to lure her
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: back over and so she could repeat it and I
• 22:28
  Speaker 2: can record it, and it's on my personal page, just
• 22:30
  Speaker 2: so far down. It's ridiculous. It's years old. But at
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: that moment, I was like, oh my god, they're literally
• 22:35
  Speaker 2: out here painting narratives about our black men that are
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: false for clickbait. And that was the moment I was
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: really like, all right, I'll see y'all next weekend. I
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: gotta go to work. I'll be back next weekend. And
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: for like ninety days straight, I spent at least twelve
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: hundred on rentalds. Thank god, I still have my enterprise
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: hook up from my enterprise days. I spent so much
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: money on gas and rentals to go back home to
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: get tear gassed. Just crazy. But if I knew then,
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: what I knew now I would have got therapy before
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: I stepped foot out that we all should.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: We're gonna shift to that in a second, because you're
• 23:05
  Speaker 1: bringing up a great idea, because now I'm getting to
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: your world. Now, I wouldn't consider myself an activist. I'm passionate,
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: but I don't think I'm passionate to the point of activism,
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: or if I am activist activists, I might act in
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: another way like I'm not outside doing that. So just
• 23:23
  Speaker 1: like you brought up how it's related almost to the
• 23:26
  Speaker 1: ideal podcast, and I think one of the things that
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: we we share in comment is that when we can
• 23:31
  Speaker 1: consider ourselves podcasters because we've made a decision to be
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: consistent no matter the outcome at times, right, sometimes.
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: You don't get you don't get what you want.
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: You don't get the views all the time, you don't
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: get the replays, you don't get the likes, to comments
• 23:45
  Speaker 1: or subscribe. And so now you're telling me that you
• 23:48
  Speaker 1: have this this sector or section of yourself where I
• 23:53
  Speaker 1: made a decision to do it. But what made you
• 23:56
  Speaker 1: stay in what ended up being your why you build community?
• 24:01
  Speaker 2: You have these people and y'all go through this experience
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: together and you see how it impacts the world, Like
• 24:06
  Speaker 2: when we saw the Tibetan monks out there and the
• 24:08
  Speaker 2: heat holding up signs. When you saw Palestinians getting online
• 24:13
  Speaker 2: tweeting telling us what to do if we got tear gas,
• 24:15
  Speaker 2: which is why we really be rocking with Palestine. They
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: taught us how to survive teargas. We didn't know what that.
• 24:20
  Speaker 2: We never had tanks in our neighborhood. That was normal
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: for them. So when you have things like this happen
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: and you see people from all over the world tweeting,
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: we staying with y'all, it was just like, what we're
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: doing is impact. Like we just we ain't even We
• 24:32
  Speaker 2: didn't call ourselves no activists. We just a bunch of
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: hood nugs that got tired and just said we got
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: to do something. We didn't know what we were doing.
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: We just were that and we needed accountability, we needed justice.
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: So it was very organic. Now what had turned in
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: two years later, we can get into that. That's something
• 24:49
  Speaker 2: totally different. It went from being something very genuine and
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: organic to this pop culture thing where everybody named Mama
• 24:55
  Speaker 2: trying to capitalize and trying to become famous and get
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: careers off of it, including celebrities something years later, very capitalistic,
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: and that's not what it started out as. And today
• 25:05
  Speaker 2: nine of us have died. So the thing is to
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: date all of us that the people that kick this
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: off ain't even here no more. So that's where the
• 25:11
  Speaker 2: podcast really also came from. Even though I didn't take
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: an activist approach, all I knew was from being a
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: part of that is you gotta tell your stories. You
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: gotta tell your story while you're here on borrow time
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: because you don't know what's gonna take you up out
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: of here, and you don't want somebody else telling your
• 25:26
  Speaker 2: narrative for you. So I'm not so much pro pro
• 25:30
  Speaker 2: pro podcast or as I am pro truth teller. If
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: you're gonna get on that mic, get on that mic
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: for a reason. This is your time to leave a mark,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: not just talk about stupid mess all the time, which
• 25:41
  Speaker 2: I love stupid mess, but maybe but we need to
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: know who you are. If I don't know who you
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: are behind the stupid mess, you've wasted an hour of
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: folks time consistently for however long you're here. Leave your
• 25:52
  Speaker 2: It's almost like I eulogize myself every solo episode a
• 25:55
  Speaker 2: little bit.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: I mean, I'm probably using the wrong word, but now
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: that's an interesting word.
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: Now that's not a wrong word. That is an interesting word.
• 26:03
  Speaker 2: Setting myself up to the day that I'm not here
• 26:05
  Speaker 2: and people want to know who I was. This is
• 26:08
  Speaker 2: This is from my daughter's daughters. See what I'm saying.
• 26:12
  Speaker 2: If you ever want to know who Grandma was, here's
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: a whole body of work. If anybody ever want to
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: know what cookie thoughts were on X y Z Baby,
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: there's a whole catalog. So it's more than just a podcast.
• 26:20
  Speaker 2: It's me making sure that I empty everything here and
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: leave it here because it can't come with These thoughts
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: can't come with me. My last can't come with me,
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: the stories can't come with me. I'm leaving it. So
• 26:32
  Speaker 2: it's beer than just an episode. It's y'all. Every day
• 26:35
  Speaker 2: I get another wrinkle, I get another crows for my
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: knees start hurting a little bit. My body's reminding me, hey,
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: you're gonna go home. You're getting one step closer to
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: going home since so what you're gonna do with the
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: time that you got here? And that's how I always
• 26:49
  Speaker 2: think about it. That's why I'm so big on solo.
• 26:51
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I love a good guest, but baby, I'm gonna
• 26:53
  Speaker 2: need this moment to talk to my people.
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's so amazing and it
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: makes sense. But you're in herst thing along. I just
• 27:00
  Speaker 1: want to cut it. You are interesting along, and I
• 27:04
  Speaker 1: love how like you you have a balance, Like if
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: people really pay attention and listen to you cookie like
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: your heart is, You're full of wisdom if people just
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: really listen, like to what you really saying. And when
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: I listen to you, I'm like, man, this is dropping gems. Okay,
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: so if you I'm gonna go ahead plug this, y'all
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: go subscribe to my sister h after you watch the
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: episode right now, prist pause if you want to the
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: Dirty Bag podcast. I mean, she is doing phenomenal. It's
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: not the numbers. It's not because of numbers, but she
• 27:34
  Speaker 1: tells the truth and people really like you.
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: Don't vote for me. I just got another nomination.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Please go vote, Go vote for the what is it?
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: Dallas Pot?
• 27:44
  Speaker 2: This came out of nowhere. This is cod Sign. This
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: is the co Sign Award for Podcasts of the Year.
• 27:49
  Speaker 2: I just found out about this. This weekend, I said,
• 27:51
  Speaker 2: hoo do y'all. I don't even think y'all fool with.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: Me, but yeah, go vote, yeah, go go vote. Like cookie,
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Cookie is something special. So one of the things that
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: I wanted to you're tapping into into so much. Let's
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: go back to the mental the mental health part of
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: you being an activist. What do you mean by that,
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: because that's not something in my mind now that you're
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: putting it in terms of I got tear gas, I
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: got this, I got that. Now, being a student of
• 28:21
  Speaker 1: the mental health field, I know I can understand why
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: you're saying this, but just to the natural eyes, like, oh,
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: these people are so strong, they're so brave, why would
• 28:33
  Speaker 1: they need this.
• 28:33
  Speaker 4: They don't need to talk to anybody. They're doing this
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: on the behalf.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: But it's almost like talking to World War two veteran,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: like that's what That's.
• 28:43
  Speaker 4: What I'm saying. Let's let's talk about that.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: You're gonna break me. She ooh she good job, she's good.
• 28:50
  Speaker 2: This girl good. I'm gonna go ahead and let you
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: have it. You good. As many podcasts as I've been on,
• 28:55
  Speaker 2: the folks that tried to demand my vulnerability, which is
• 28:57
  Speaker 2: very weird, you crack it. What people don't understand is
• 29:01
  Speaker 2: when you take the when you decide to stand up
• 29:04
  Speaker 2: for something, a lot of times it comes from a
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: place of trauma. So that happened to you, whether you
• 29:08
  Speaker 2: got harassed by cops, or you felt neglected, or you
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: have abandonment issues. When you come into a community of activism,
• 29:15
  Speaker 2: you now have a group of people that all want
• 29:16
  Speaker 2: to do the same thing you do, make the world
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: a better place. But you still have your demons coming in.
• 29:22
  Speaker 2: So when you deal with being harassed by cops, people
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: are on Twitter calling for your throat, saying they hope
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: you catch a bullet. You getting random calls to your job,
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: to your supervisor saying that you got to do something
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: about her, she's racist. If you don't do something, I
• 29:35
  Speaker 2: will to unmarked police cars following you around, to you
• 29:39
  Speaker 2: figuring out what phone what your phone calls being tapped
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: sounds like like Ferguson was real, We went through it.
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: So when you're dealing with these things all the time
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: and you don't have the support really of your family
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: because they don't get the world you in because some
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: of them are like, I wish y'all would stop doing that.
• 29:54
  Speaker 2: Why are you blocking the highway? Why are you? It
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: gets very lonely, and whatever advices you had before coming
• 29:59
  Speaker 2: into activism or whatever, it's gonna magnify. So if you
• 30:03
  Speaker 2: had a drinking problem, but you stopped drinking for a
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: while because you were just so amped about this movement,
• 30:09
  Speaker 2: when them dark moments come, guess what you're gonna do.
• 30:11
  Speaker 2: You're gonna drink. Yeah, bugs was your thing before, but
• 30:14
  Speaker 2: you you were clean because you was out here on
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: the streets and you were fighting. When you start getting
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: depressed or you lose your job behind activism, what you're
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: finna do, You're gonna turn back to those things. So
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: we all, in our own way, whatever form, we turned
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: back to those things.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Girl, I could I if I had, if you were
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: next to me, I would throw something at you.
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: Listen, I remember one of us, the what pulled me
• 30:38
  Speaker 2: away from activism was one of us got murdered. And
• 30:41
  Speaker 2: it just so happened that he was my cousin's boyfriend.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: So now I was torn between the activism world and
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: my family. The activism world, we naturally we turned everything major,
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: even when it's not what we think. It is a
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: certain thing, and it wasn't that is.
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: That is that how they trained y'all to see things though,
• 31:01
  Speaker 1: Like let's say, you know, I'm like we talked about racism, right,
• 31:05
  Speaker 1: and if you grew up in a racist family, you're
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: trained to see the opposite race as a certain way.
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Would you suggest that was what happened or it was
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: because you were just in the fire and you was
• 31:17
  Speaker 1: looking for something to just blow up so you can
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: have a reason to be an activist about it.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: We knew that in that situation the cops couldn't stand
• 31:25
  Speaker 2: this particular activist. He was the one that made the
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: most noise. He was the one that called out the
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: original Black Lives Matter organization, because most folks don't don't
• 31:33
  Speaker 2: If you wasn't involved back then, you don't know that
• 31:35
  Speaker 2: Ferguson and Black Lives Matter were two different people. But
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: Black Lives Matter these organizers came to Saint Louis when
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: everything was heating up, got in front of the camera
• 31:44
  Speaker 2: and the media and name the movement. We didn't do that.
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: The champ was hands up, don't shoot. We thought we
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: were just saying a chant. We thought we started hearing
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: Black Lives Matter one day and a sign. We thought
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: we were just saying a chat. We had no idea.
• 31:56
  Speaker 2: It was a whole initiative slash organization. So there was
• 31:58
  Speaker 2: a whole lot of infight going on that the public
• 32:01
  Speaker 2: didn't know about back in twenty fourteen, twenty fifteen. This
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: particular active is his name is Darren Seals. He called
• 32:06
  Speaker 2: it out early before the rest of the world caught on.
• 32:09
  Speaker 2: He called them out early, so he made a lot
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: of enemies with his mouth. So after his murder, the
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: first thought was it was a set up. The police
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: got him. No, he just had a certain life before
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: activism that came back like certain beefs that came back.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: But we didn't know how to differentiate that because everything
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: was set up from the cops not saying I mean
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: the cops were definitely happy, Let's be clear, they weren't.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: But for me, that was the moment where I had
• 32:34
  Speaker 2: to pull back because I didn't have the support to
• 32:36
  Speaker 2: tell them y'all it ain't I'm sorry, y'all, it ain't
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: what we think it is. So I'm trying to be
• 32:42
  Speaker 2: here from my cousin that had suffered a major loss,
• 32:44
  Speaker 2: but this movement that's like, no, it's the cops. It
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: was just a lot and I remember driving around with
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: an open bottle of vodka and I was so stressed out.
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: My anxiety was through the roof. I couldn't grieve because
• 32:55
  Speaker 2: I had to be there for her. But I'm driving
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: around my neighborhood just drinking open bottle. Didn't care. And
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: that was when I moved away from the movie. And
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: it's like, this is destroying me. I don't know how
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: to grieve anymore. I don't know what's what. We don't
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: trust anybody, like it messes with your mental healthy because
• 33:11
  Speaker 2: you walk around with a huge dose of paranoia about everything.
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: Trust nobody. You don't know who the cointeil pro is
• 33:19
  Speaker 2: within the group that was hired by the car or
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: who was paid to cause disruption, but feed them information
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: that life didn't even feel real. And when you try
• 33:29
  Speaker 2: to tell it to the average person, they think you crazy.
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: And it's like you sound crazy, Like what do you
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: mean in your phone lines being tapped, you being followed
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: by cars, folks calling your job. That sounds like a movie. No,
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: it was.
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: I was just about to say, like, what you're telling
• 33:42
  Speaker 1: me sounds like a movie. It sounds like a biopic
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: about Martin Luther King, Like the things I hear about
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: what happened to him sounds just like that.
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: Because they put us in the room with civil rights legends.
• 33:55
  Speaker 2: Like I said at the brunch with Angela Davis, like
• 33:58
  Speaker 2: after we have to sit at that woman's feet and
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: ask for questions. So when you're in their life, you
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: get exposed to you get to meet your some of
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: your legends and your faves, and they talk to you
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: about things. You see how real it is because we
• 34:09
  Speaker 2: went through the same a lot of the same stuff
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: they did, but we won't have conversations until we did
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: and go it'll be like twenty twenty fifty before the
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: conversations of what happened between twenty fourteen and twenty twenty
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: really goes down in the books and folks start telling
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: these stories. But it just it messes you up mentally.
• 34:26
  Speaker 2: It's definitely like a soldier coming home from war and
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: you need years. You need years, And we didn't all
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: make it out, and not all of us are in
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: not necessarily right mind without mes. I thank god that
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: I'm not on meds. That's a blessing to say that
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: I'm not on meds today because of any of that.
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: Man, Cookie, you're You're opening me up to a space
• 34:47
  Speaker 1: that I never thought that I needed to hear. It
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: puts me in the space of thinking beyond what I see.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: That's why I hear you say, like the what's really
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: good going on? And we all have this concept of
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: the media does not tell the full story, right, And
• 35:06
  Speaker 1: that's another reason why the podcasts are so important, even
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: our conversation right now, like people in my mind and
• 35:11
  Speaker 1: I'm just gonna tell you the truth because I'm a realist.
• 35:14
  Speaker 4: At this point.
• 35:15
  Speaker 1: When people hear Cookie Brown name, like, we'll be in
• 35:18
  Speaker 1: spaces even in the podcast community where they say, oh yeah,
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: she'll she'll give she'll give a good laugh, she'll give
• 35:24
  Speaker 1: a good entertainment. But you gotta understand that Cookie knows
• 35:28
  Speaker 1: the place of pain. Like it's almost it's almost like,
• 35:33
  Speaker 1: what's his name that's laughing my pain? Kevin Hart.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: That's literally what it is like. People. When I have
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: trolls in my comments, I'm like, bro, you think you're
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: talking about my wig doing something to me. I gotta
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: chick on an alley back. Cops before I've tasted tear gas,
• 35:45
  Speaker 2: come with something harder than my wig. I knew the
• 35:47
  Speaker 2: thing was raggedy. When I put it on, I didn't care,
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: but you gotta I'm gonna get you to give me
• 35:51
  Speaker 2: a real insult. I chose the damn wig. I know
• 35:55
  Speaker 2: that it was fifteen bucks. I just threw it on.
• 35:58
  Speaker 2: I ain't bald headed, like you gotta something real. I've
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: been threatened by people all I've told people that. People
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: have told me I should catch a bullet like, You've
• 36:07
  Speaker 2: gotta come harder than that. So yeah, it's I. I've
• 36:10
  Speaker 2: learned that humor helps the pay go down a little
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: bit easier.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: What I finna say is you know how you talked
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: about it being uh you like that you've been eulogizing yourself, right, Yeah,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know if that's right, but I just I'm
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: because I want to go to the Google.
• 36:25
  Speaker 4: I went to Google, and a eulogy is just that.
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: It's a speech or a writing that honors and praises someone,
• 36:31
  Speaker 1: typically someone that has died. Right, So I think the
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: beauty of what you're doing is a lot of times,
• 36:36
  Speaker 1: if we're honest, people get up there and lie girl
• 36:39
  Speaker 1: at funerals about the people that's in the casket.
• 36:42
  Speaker 4: But what's beautiful is.
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: You You're giving you're you are leaving your legacy. You
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: are being able to tell your story, your way and
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: people us, we get to learn. Because I'm sitting here now,
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: I'm like, dang, it does sound like something off a movie.
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: I ain't never known nobody out there on the streets
• 37:00
  Speaker 1: like that, didn't talk about it for real. But I'm like,
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: that's this stuff because we in I'm in Alabama, right,
• 37:04
  Speaker 1: and that's just stuff I just see on the TV.
• 37:06
  Speaker 1: But I do think it's so beautiful that you are
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: giving yourself the space and the opportunity to tell your
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: own story because.
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: It's it's been, because history has been rewritten already. It's
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: it's been. We just celebrated the ten year. It was
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: a ten year anniversary of the uprising. Was August ninth.
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: It was a ten year anniversary of Mike Brown's death.
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, in ten years, I've turned into three
• 37:28
  Speaker 2: different versions of myself. I'm activists to like Harlot phase.
• 37:35
  Speaker 2: To deal with the trauma of activism, I went into
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: a version of myself that wasn't healthy to heal from it.
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: That didn't work, but I knew I needed to talk
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: about some things, so I went through So I mean,
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: being in Dallas's interesting because this is very like a
• 37:51
  Speaker 2: kind of a socialite space, and I'll come to brunch
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: and get cute, but then when people will open their
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: mouth to speak, I just be like, Oh, it's empty
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: up there. So all we got in common is we
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: just cute right now, That's it. I can't have a
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: deep conversation about things that matter. Don't let these selfies
• 38:07
  Speaker 2: and the makeup fool you. I care about what goes
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: on in our community this. I'm just in a space
• 38:13
  Speaker 2: now where I'm trying to chase my happy because for
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: a long time, that trauma was normal, Like it was
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: normal to wake up mad every day, it was normal
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: to get online and fight with trolls and racist You
• 38:23
  Speaker 2: do that for like three years straight. Man, your br
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: you are. You don't even know how to have real
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: relationships with folks anymore because you're just always in a
• 38:30
  Speaker 2: state of rage. So even in year three of this podcast,
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: I'm still learning how to find what happiness and what
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: my new normal looks like. It takes a long time
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: to transition from that cookie.
• 38:44
  Speaker 4: You have me stirred right now.
• 38:46
  Speaker 1: You're talking too well for me, woman to God, you
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: are talking to well one of the things I want
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: to know is I'm gonna ask a two part question.
• 38:55
  Speaker 1: I know, but I know I'm asking you like this
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: because I know you can handle a two part question.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: Got it.
• 39:00
  Speaker 4: The first part is how in the world did you
• 39:02
  Speaker 4: get from Saint Louis to Dallas? And the second part
• 39:05
  Speaker 4: of that you brought up the multi multiple versions of
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: you in the past ten years. How did you navigate
• 39:13
  Speaker 4: through those versions? When did you what did it look
• 39:15
  Speaker 4: like giving yourself permission to be what you needed to
• 39:18
  Speaker 4: be at that time?
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: Okay, So I came here by way. Women's basketball, so
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: the final four in twenty seventeen. One of my friends,
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: Deanna Jackson, as a childhood friend. She was assistant women's
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: basketball coach of Mississippi State. So back in twenty seventeen,
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: they was dominating, like they were the conversation. So everywhere
• 39:37
  Speaker 2: they went I chased them up the highway. They played
• 39:39
  Speaker 2: in Oklahoma, but the final four was here in Dallas.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: So me and my son came here for that Final Four,
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: and I was like, Okay, Dallas. I didn't realize it
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: was five hours up the highway from where I lived.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: I just liked it. Actually, my son like Dallas more
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: than I did. And I had a friend from college,
• 39:53
  Speaker 2: one of my college beastietes that lived here, so I
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: was like, Dallas is kind of cool. I came and
• 39:58
  Speaker 2: visited a few more times when the pandemic hit. So
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: I was a market development manager for Coca Cola, So
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: my job was to be in bars, restaurants, and hospitals
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: all day getting business. Now, when the pandemic hit three places,
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: you couldn't be a bar, a restaurant, hospital, or a school.
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: So I was at home, like making calls to these
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: these business owners trying to get money out of them
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: and the world shut down. They're like, girl, I ain't
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: got no money out. Business is closed. We don't even
• 40:26
  Speaker 2: know if we're gonna be able to open again. So
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: I made the decision, and I had like a situation
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: with a guy, Jesus, I was going through the postpartum.
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: A very messy situation happened. And I remember one day
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: we had a couple's therapy call crazy. It was lord
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: situation girl, But I remember hanging up and I said there.
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: Late that night, I had a glass of wine and
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: I was just walking my living room and I said,
• 40:49
  Speaker 2: I'm moving to Dallas. I'm quitting my job and I'm
• 40:51
  Speaker 2: moving to Dallas. Didn't have a plan in place, no nothing.
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: I said, I'm moving to Dallas and I most finally
• 40:59
  Speaker 2: get this podcast going, and I'm gonna start doing sales consulting.
• 41:01
  Speaker 2: I've been in sales forever. I'm tired of the break.
• 41:03
  Speaker 2: I'm tired of corporate I was. I was sold. All
• 41:05
  Speaker 2: I've known is corporate sales, all I've ever done. So
• 41:08
  Speaker 2: I literally started driving back and forth to Dallas for
• 41:11
  Speaker 2: like three weekends straight looking for a place. Put in
• 41:13
  Speaker 2: my two week notice. I had like ten thousand dollars,
• 41:17
  Speaker 2: and I moved and my daughter was like right before
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: her first birthday. So I was starting to put things
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: in place for the podcast as I'm getting ready to
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: move here. And I moved here November first, had everything
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: still packed up. November twentieth, twenty first launched. The podcast
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: wasn't even unpacked in my new place. Hit. It literally
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: was just like a I took a risk. I took
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: it with no real plan. Craziest thing I ever did.
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: But it's also the thing that changed my life for real.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: So there's that's so that's how it came to Dallas.
• 41:48
  Speaker 2: I just wonderful and the world was still a lockdown.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: So I didn't have a creative community. I didn't know
• 41:52
  Speaker 2: no creative yet. So that's how that happened. Now, the
• 41:56
  Speaker 2: ten year change, I went through such a messy version
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: of such an unhealthy version. Like I said, everybody had
• 42:03
  Speaker 2: their advices and activism. Mine was liquor. But then it
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: became sex. It was just like maybe I just I
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: just got I'm somebody that has bragged about the number
• 42:12
  Speaker 2: of sexual partners I have for up until while, I
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: bragged about the fact that I could count on one
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: hand the number of men I slept with. That was
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: a flex for me because I did. I mean, there
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: was four years of celibacy in there, you know, so
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: I bragged about it. So I went from somebody that
• 42:26
  Speaker 2: bragged about not letting anybody have access to me to like, bruh,
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: if I need this itch, scratch is gonna get scratched. Really,
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: I just was trying to get past the pain of
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: me walking away from my activist family and being sad
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: about how that situation ended up and how it was
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: just no longer a safe and healthy space for me.
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: It was just not to the point where it was
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: just like, girl, you've given your body to people like
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: this is not helping you, and these negroes are raggedy,
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: So we gotta figure this out. You're gonna have to
• 42:55
  Speaker 2: shut it down again. You gon'a. So what I ended
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: up doing. I think I took a trip to Cuba
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: January twenty nineteen, a solo trip. This is not my
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: second trip, and I just remember being by myself and
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: just feeling like I want to create. I want to
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: change my life. I want to do something meaningful and impactful.
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: I'm tired of just being stuck in the same space.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: I hate this job. I'm miserable. I feel like I'm
• 43:18
  Speaker 2: stopped up. I'm not in an activism world anymore. So
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: what's next for me?
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: And it's just it kind of started from there. But
• 43:27
  Speaker 2: I think my daughter is really what gave me nuts.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Once I got pregnant with her, I was like, we're
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: gonna start taking some risks. It's so crazy it took
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: for me to be pregnant to take the risk that
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: I didn't take when she wasn't in the picture, Like
• 43:38
  Speaker 2: that little girl was the enforcer with her. I was like,
• 43:40
  Speaker 2: I'm drinking more water if I don't like this job,
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave. If I want to do this, I'm
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: gonna do it. So I that girl. I know people
• 43:48
  Speaker 2: hate when Mama save this, but she literally saved my life.
• 43:50
  Speaker 2: That she helped me walk into a new version of myself,
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: which is the one that knows she wants to create
• 43:56
  Speaker 2: and that she wants to leave her mark here. She
• 43:58
  Speaker 2: got to quit talking about it and just do it,
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: and I did.
• 44:02
  Speaker 1: So that's the version that we're seeing today. That was
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: actually my next question, is that the version that we
• 44:07
  Speaker 1: see today, it's the.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Creative that realizes you got to get uncomfortable with the
• 44:11
  Speaker 2: life that you were used to for the life you want.
• 44:15
  Speaker 2: I've been such a I've relied on the stability of
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: things that are really not stable. If we're being honest.
• 44:21
  Speaker 2: Oh long that God had to shake me up a
• 44:23
  Speaker 2: little bit, like, all right, let me snatch some things
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: from you. We're gonna see if you're really about this thing. Yeah,
• 44:29
  Speaker 2: go through the shock of wait. But but everything has
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: always fell into place. I got laid off for the
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: first time last year. I've never been laid off from
• 44:39
  Speaker 2: a thing in my life. I've always either got promoted
• 44:41
  Speaker 2: or chose new opportunities. But it needed to happen because
• 44:43
  Speaker 2: if it didn't, I would have still use it as
• 44:45
  Speaker 2: a crush to not take risk and really sink my
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: teeth into this. Yeah, we get comfortable with stuff. Listen,
• 44:51
  Speaker 2: comfort will have you sacrifice and plan small. You gotta
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: have some stuff snatch from up under you sometime to
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: be like, all right, sinkle swimm, remember what you're gonna do.
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: You either gonna do what you said you want to do,
• 45:02
  Speaker 2: or you gonna abandon it and prove yourself to be
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: full cap and just go back to what makes sense.
• 45:09
  Speaker 1: That's so good because I was wondering Cookie, you kind
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: of answered some of the questions that I'm even curious
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: about just for my own personal understanding of you, is
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: that when did Cookie become so bold? And what I'm
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: hearing is that that, and you can correct me or
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: elaborate on this, is that your daughter brought another level
• 45:26
  Speaker 1: of boldness and from in you because she mattered. It
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: mattered to you what she not only thought of you,
• 45:35
  Speaker 1: but what you could build for her so she could
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: stand upon.
• 45:39
  Speaker 2: I want her to not be scared to go after
• 45:41
  Speaker 2: you know. The way I was brought up is you
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: get just go get you a good job, or just
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: get you a good career, just do a good, stable
• 45:46
  Speaker 2: paying job, and then you're and that success in life.
• 45:49
  Speaker 2: No the hell it ain't. No, it's not. We don't
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: talk about the flip side of that. Your mental health
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: was not. You're happy, and at the time, the money
• 45:56
  Speaker 2: still ain't my hand, it's still not doing what they
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: need to do, and you miss so with her, it
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: was just like, I'm ready to live a life I
• 46:03
  Speaker 2: won't and not the life that I've settled for. And
• 46:06
  Speaker 2: it's gonna come with some bumps. It's gonna come with
• 46:08
  Speaker 2: a lot of bumps. Dallas have gave me opportunities I've
• 46:11
  Speaker 2: never had, but I've actually I've experienced some loaths too.
• 46:14
  Speaker 2: But it's the price of if you want it, it's
• 46:16
  Speaker 2: gonna cost you some things. He's not gonna have to
• 46:19
  Speaker 2: get comfortable with being uncomfortable for a while. But now
• 46:21
  Speaker 2: that little girl, I want her to see somebody that
• 46:23
  Speaker 2: does what they want to do, not what people tell
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: them to do. And I've always done with folks. You know,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: I've always been like the first black girl in a
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: lot of the positions I'm in, or one of the few.
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: So you know, you get trained on feeling like you're
• 46:37
  Speaker 2: special because you're one of the few. Baby, you are
• 46:40
  Speaker 2: not special. You can be replaced tomorrow and you code
• 46:42
  Speaker 2: switching and you're not happy, and these people don't even
• 46:45
  Speaker 2: value your humanity. This is what you're breaking your neck
• 46:47
  Speaker 2: and getting stressed about. This is what you're getting more
• 46:49
  Speaker 2: wrinkles in your fae head for all, right, says go off,
• 46:52
  Speaker 2: tell me how it's freaking out for you.
• 46:56
  Speaker 1: See, I wish you could see this customer right now.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: She listened it to you and she laughing, but she
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: shake her head like yo, over what We don't do that.
• 47:08
  Speaker 2: So it's just like go after this. But I mean,
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: the creative world comes with it's all. Now what you're
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: getting the creative where it's a whole new set of Uh, it's.
• 47:16
  Speaker 4: A it's a whole.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna let you talk about that because that's
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: one of been one of the conversations that me and you,
• 47:21
  Speaker 1: you and I have agreed upon. I I and I've
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: appreciate let me tell you thank you publicly. I've appreciated
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: our conversations because sometimes our conversation will come up and
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: you're You're one person I don't want to disappoint like
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: I know I was.
• 47:34
  Speaker 4: I was nervous about our.
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: I was nervous about our time together today because I
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: do value what you say. I know you study this
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: just as much as I do. You've invested in this
• 47:50
  Speaker 1: like I have. And so it's almost like journal journey Lord,
• 47:54
  Speaker 1: Jesus journeying, thank you Lord, through this with somebody that
• 47:59
  Speaker 1: wants it as bad as you, and I don't know
• 48:03
  Speaker 1: I think in this rem I don't want someone. I
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: don't have anybody that I think about that I want
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: to win in this surram of podcasting as much as
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: I want you to win, like I really think highly
• 48:17
  Speaker 1: of you, Cookie.
• 48:19
  Speaker 4: And so she played.
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: She played too much, y'all. She played too much. She
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: had a plan, she had a plan coming into this car.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: She played too damn much too much.
• 48:32
  Speaker 1: I'm being honest, Cookie, I just haven't had an opportunity
• 48:35
  Speaker 1: to tell you that. And now you can go listen
• 48:38
  Speaker 1: to it and your children's children and go listen to
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: the impact. You're still an activist. You just activist, you act,
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: You're a different activists. You you're you pick up on
• 48:47
  Speaker 1: people and you root for people. And like everybody loves Cookie, Cookie,
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: gonna get what you want.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: People.
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: Some people wish that they were cookie, and that's why
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: you make people uncomfortable, because you're geez.
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: To see you about to damn it, damn it. Okay,
• 49:05
  Speaker 2: I know, Pump, I know, I ain't no punk a b.
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: I ain't no punk a b not. But this world
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: is equally as hard. Jesus, how you get on my nerves.
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: This world is equally as hard because we're all we're
• 49:21
  Speaker 2: all trying to get to a certain space. And you
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: are right, everybody does not root. I think that in
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: this world people want you to do well, but they
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: want you to do well to a certain point as
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: long as it doesn't exceed their comfort level for you
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: and as long as they can still attach themselves to you.
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: And who good, God, this girl is good. Ohhi, good
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: for me. I've worked too hard to sacrifice what it
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: is I do for half assed people. Know that I've
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: offended people because I'm one of them people I work with.
• 49:58
  Speaker 2: My mind works quicker than logic sometimes, like I'll say,
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: you know what, I want to work with them before
• 50:03
  Speaker 2: I really weed people out and vet them. And sometimes
• 50:06
  Speaker 2: I bet a little too lately, and I bet when
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: I gave somebody access to things they shouldn't have access to.
• 50:16
  Speaker 2: You know, it's been alone three years with this platform,
• 50:19
  Speaker 2: but I didn't bump my head. And because people haven't
• 50:22
  Speaker 2: necessarily gotten what they felt entitled to from me out
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: of coming into this space, it's created a very weird
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: space with us. It's very hard to put everything into
• 50:34
  Speaker 2: something and knowing that there are people around you or
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: that want access to you, that do not have your
• 50:38
  Speaker 2: best interest at heart. It's selfish motives. And I struggled
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: with it because the whole thing about me being need.
• 50:44
  Speaker 2: I do care about folks perception of me to a
• 50:47
  Speaker 2: point where I don't want to come off mean. But
• 50:49
  Speaker 2: sometimes I just be knowing what I know. Sis, I'm sorry.
• 50:53
  Speaker 2: Sometimes I know what I know and it's hard for
• 50:56
  Speaker 2: me to unsee it. So it's like, now I've pulled
• 50:59
  Speaker 2: you in saying let's do this thing, or hey says
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: and that it's like whoa, this ain't that? Yeah? Back
• 51:05
  Speaker 2: up without looking flaky, Like that's something that you know,
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: I struggle with everybody. Everybody don't need to eat. Sometimes
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: you got to get your butt in the kitchen and
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: cut some ions. Yeah, come in here and boil some water.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: You just can't come with a to go play. And
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: that's been the hardest thing for me is after this podcasting,
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: it made me be more intentional about who I collaborate
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: with because this is such an intimate space. Your space,
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: this is your space is very intimate and everybody don't
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: need to be up in here and letting the wrong
• 51:37
  Speaker 2: people in here, they can destroy you.
• 51:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah, it's almost like letting somebody in your house.
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: It's like letting somebody in your house. I've let people
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: in my house and it got weird afterwards because they
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: ain't had no business in there. The hardest thing I
• 51:53
  Speaker 2: did this year was creating the live show, and I
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: was stressed for three months. Baby, I was mad almost
• 51:58
  Speaker 2: every week because I made them stake early on. I
• 52:01
  Speaker 2: tried to send out a whole lot of invites in
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: the house. Yeah, in twenty four forty eight hours, it
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: was like girl. So I said to myself, you know what,
• 52:09
  Speaker 2: almost split up the house. I'll just have two different cookouts.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: Let's just do that. And even making that decision, I
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: watched how some of the attendees of what would have
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: been the second cookout responded to it, and I said,
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: oh no, oh, this ain't insists. Pay attention to the energy,
• 52:26
  Speaker 2: pay attention to how people respond when they don't get
• 52:29
  Speaker 2: what they want from you, or it's not no, but
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: just not now. Yeah, Like it's a lot. So when
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: me and you be having some conversations about like who's
• 52:37
  Speaker 2: serious and who ain't, you'll learn real quick. Everybody wants
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: to do this, but everybody don't want to do this.
• 52:43
  Speaker 2: They want to do it because of the perception of
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: what comes with it, not the grit, not the dedication,
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: not the sacrifices, And sometimes they will come attach themselves
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: to you to help them get there quicker. And no, ma'am,
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: I had long nights in the studio, tears in the studio,
• 52:59
  Speaker 2: things going wrong, episodes disappearing, like not helping me when
• 53:04
  Speaker 2: things malfunction, guess, people being flaky, so many things. And
• 53:11
  Speaker 2: it's just like I work too hard to put entirely
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: too much of my blood, sweat and tears in this
• 53:16
  Speaker 2: to be playing with any of y'all that ain't work
• 53:18
  Speaker 2: as hard as I am, but wanting to come me.
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: No.
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: I'm not gonna feel guilty about saying no when I
• 53:26
  Speaker 2: know people ain't got that work ethic and that's the
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: part that I've struggled with. I can watch you and
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: see if you about it. It don't take much. And
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying we're the best thing on earth, but Mabby,
• 53:36
  Speaker 2: you know when somebody want something and when they want
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: the idea of it. And now you got to make
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: a decision.
• 53:42
  Speaker 4: I was gonna ask you, Cookie, you're leading me into
• 53:45
  Speaker 4: the questions that I'm thinking about asking you. So as
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: well as.
• 53:48
  Speaker 1: You're enjoying this interview, you're luring me into asking you question.
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah, so what does it look like?
• 53:55
  Speaker 1: What do you look for when you're now that we're
• 53:59
  Speaker 1: gonna switch to part And how do you know somebody's
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: ready to be tald or ready for this this level
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: of commitment, Because one thing people don't understand is your
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: years gotta be years and your no gotta be no.
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: And if your years fully years is not going to
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: be easy like it's it's a consistency that's required to
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: really do this thing. So what would you suggest how
• 54:22
  Speaker 1: would you speak to those people that think they desire
• 54:24
  Speaker 1: this lifestyle?
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: Me and you have this conversation a while back, and
• 54:28
  Speaker 2: it was about that whole pick your brain to get
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: into it all have folks hit me up somebody like
• 54:34
  Speaker 2: can you mentor me? Which I learned you don't really
• 54:36
  Speaker 2: pick your mentor your mentor pitch you. It's kind of
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: difference between mentoring and coaching. But I've had folks like
• 54:41
  Speaker 2: I want to pick your brain? Can you do this?
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: That?
• 54:43
  Speaker 2: And the third and my first, my first go twist.
• 54:45
  Speaker 2: Look at your page and see what efforts you're already
• 54:47
  Speaker 2: putting into what you have. It ain't about bothering, it
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: ain't about having a fancy setup. It's about your effort
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: to show up for your audience. If you are not
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: showing up for your audience with what you have. I
• 54:58
  Speaker 2: started this with a thirty dollars mic, a broken down laptop.
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: It was just audio. I didn't have a team. The
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: girl that was gonna edit for me drop me a
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: week before it was time to launch. It was the
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: best thing she ever did for herself because she wholeheartedly
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: chased her dreams and she had time to whole mind too.
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: But I look at what you do with what you have.
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: If you are not showing up, even if it's ten
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: twenty people, if you ain't showing up for them ten
• 55:19
  Speaker 2: twenty people, what you want me to do for you. You
• 55:20
  Speaker 2: don't even care enough about them to give them what
• 55:23
  Speaker 2: you got, but you want to come pull on me.
• 55:24
  Speaker 2: That's crazy. So I look at your consistency with your audience.
• 55:29
  Speaker 2: Also look at the fact if you if you want
• 55:31
  Speaker 2: to invest, because, like you said, we made some investments.
• 55:33
  Speaker 2: I made that investment a couple of weeks before I
• 55:35
  Speaker 2: got laid off. Please let's talk about how my bills
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: was late. So when I say cool, we can do
• 55:42
  Speaker 2: a session. Because you and I know when somebody pick
• 55:44
  Speaker 2: our brain, it's gonna be long. So when I throw
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: a price on it, do you value me enough to
• 55:49
  Speaker 2: pay what my rate is to take my time? Oh
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: it's quiet now, got it? So you're okay with me
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: giving you everything I've paid for, everything I've worked hard
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: for for free. But I'm not worthy enough for you
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: to compensate. I bet got it. I'll get right on that. Yes,
• 56:05
  Speaker 2: let's hop on a call. Please please take my time up.
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: So I look at whether or not you're willing to invest. Now,
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: if we're working together, we bouncing off each other, it's
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: a different conversation. Baby, It's equal parts work and pouring.
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: But you shouldn't be going around trying to pull on
• 56:19
  Speaker 2: what somebody worked so hard for and invested in, and
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: you not make an investment showing you serious. So it's
• 56:25
  Speaker 2: my first thing. I told somebody the other day. I
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: told them what David Shance told me told us two
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: years ago with his podcast boot Camp. I'm challenging y'all
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: to go live every day before you even start a podcast,
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: go live? Why not? Why would you not want to
• 56:38
  Speaker 2: go live? There's literally an audience there, you get real
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: time feedback. If you're not willing to start talking to
• 56:44
  Speaker 2: people where you are with the apps that you spend
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: all day on what we doing? You want the setup?
• 56:52
  Speaker 2: You won't what looks like baby starting out. This is rough,
• 56:56
  Speaker 2: this is rough. Your friends have said they was gonna
• 56:58
  Speaker 2: be there. Some of them won't like a post, won't
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: share a post, no nothing. You will post things one
• 57:03
  Speaker 2: day and it will go two hours when out getting alike?
• 57:05
  Speaker 2: Are you cool with that? Are you cool with posting
• 57:09
  Speaker 2: something that's not going to get alike? Because that's going
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: to happen. And if you're not good with that, what
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: you're doing is fun. So my question to anybody is,
• 57:18
  Speaker 2: because y'all know, I say all the time podcasts get
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: on my nerves. I'm never gonna stop you guys. Absolutely
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: so wh people say I want to start a podcast,
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: My question is why, because we got a lot of
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: folks on the mic just just you're just vowming at
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: the mouth, yea of the mouth. Your mouth is just
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: flapping in the wind, and you ain't saying nothing. So
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: my first question is why you do it to make money?
• 57:41
  Speaker 2: Oh dear, oh oh baby, girl baby, how about you
• 57:48
  Speaker 2: just get good at talking. Let's just start at point a.
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: How about you just talk just right now, talk, you talk,
• 57:54
  Speaker 2: let me hear what's coming out of your mouth, and
• 57:56
  Speaker 2: we'll go from there.
• 57:56
  Speaker 4: We got a lot.
• 58:00
  Speaker 2: There are a lot of mediocre podcasts and they don't
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: have real friends because their friends ain't telling them. Yo,
• 58:03
  Speaker 2: you're kind of boring, sis, damn you kind of the
• 58:06
  Speaker 2: same for you tell your friends they whack. I'll put
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: out a lot of whack stuff. How was an episode?
• 58:17
  Speaker 2: Like somebody should have texted me and said, since this
• 58:18
  Speaker 2: ain't it so I could say that about myself as
• 58:20
  Speaker 2: good as I know I am. Some of y'all are
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: just whack and your friends don't like you because they
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: won't tell you that you're whack. Go live and let
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: the people that know you get in there and give
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: you some let them critics come in first, then we
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: can talk about coaching.
• 58:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm just saying, girl, You see, you have said
• 58:39
  Speaker 1: a lot in the time that we've been together.
• 58:42
  Speaker 4: Desiree whack.
• 58:46
  Speaker 2: Whack you.
• 58:49
  Speaker 4: I wish you could see her face right now.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: Cookie with me. There are people that are whack and
• 58:55
  Speaker 2: your friends don't like you because they won't tell you no.
• 58:58
  Speaker 1: But I think it's very popular nowadays to say, hey,
• 59:02
  Speaker 1: I want to start a podcast. Case in point, I
• 59:03
  Speaker 1: had a young, young gentleman that I went to record
• 59:06
  Speaker 1: for and it was his first time.
• 59:08
  Speaker 4: He said, oh, yeah, this is something I've always wanted
• 59:10
  Speaker 4: to do. You know. He interviewed. I want to say
• 59:12
  Speaker 4: it was like a judge in the area, and the
• 59:14
  Speaker 4: jug did good because that's what he did. He show up,
• 59:16
  Speaker 4: he talked blah blah blah.
• 59:17
  Speaker 1: But it was, uh, it was like watching it was
• 59:22
  Speaker 1: like watching paint dry. And you know, I just try
• 59:25
  Speaker 1: to you know, hey, maybe next time, if this is
• 59:29
  Speaker 1: something that you're that you really feel like you're called
• 59:31
  Speaker 1: to do, you might need to work on like conversation,
• 59:34
  Speaker 1: like having conversation. Because it was just a real like
• 59:38
  Speaker 1: answer question and answer kind of thing.
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 59:40
  Speaker 4: So I'm like, if you're gonna be in this space,
• 59:41
  Speaker 4: you're gonna have to work on the craft.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: Like it was a pope's biscuit interview. It was dry.
• 59:50
  Speaker 1: M hmm.
• 59:52
  Speaker 4: It was you told him.
• 59:55
  Speaker 1: I just you know, I just told him that he
• 59:57
  Speaker 1: may need to work on his interview on skills a
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: little bit. And has he So it was so bad.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 1: He didn't like he didn't like him. I'm saying it
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: one bad okay. So he did not like himself in
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 1: the interview so much so that he had me to
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: just chop up clips of the other man, a man talking,
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: So this whole almost thirty minute episode, he was like, hey,
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: can you can you find this part? Can you find
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: this part? Can you find this part? And none of
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 1: them was him?
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 4: It was all the work.
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: He's okay, But so he knew he.
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 4: Was whack, Yes he did, and he ain't called back.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 4: All right, there we go, Oh, okay, so you trim
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 4: the fat.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: Okay, So because you were honest and that wasn't even
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: your friend, right, No, So why don't you start going
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: up under these podcasters posts and start saying stuff like that?
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: Won't you start dming folks and be like, hey, if
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: you're gonna do this, it was a little dry. If
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 2: you did that, people would go towards their purpose. And
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 2: sometimes your purpose ain't a mic.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: Sometimes that and sometimes I think podcasts are good for
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: What podcasts are good for, I really, I really do,
• 1:00:58
  Speaker 1: And it's staying your lane, like you can make it
• 1:01:01
  Speaker 1: work for you, but when you're trying to be somebody else.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: And that's something I had to address myself about Cookie,
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 1: like you know, both of us look up today, CJ,
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: Carl or whatever.
• 1:01:10
  Speaker 4: And that was his.
• 1:01:12
  Speaker 1: Inspiration was Shay sheha Okay, all right.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: No, no, no stop. Here's the thing about Marlon Walliams even
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 2: got on sh Shay recently. He cracked on the fact
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 2: that he got better because when he came out he
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: was this big country bunking just plopping all over the couch.
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: He had to he we are watching the elevation of
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: him becoming an actual interviewer the first he is, and
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: he's worked very hard on this craft. So a club
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 2: is jo again. You want the lifestyle, you want that
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 2: Fortyer because that man is still learning. Yes, So you
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: want the lifestyle of a ballplayer turn. That's what I'm saying.
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: People don't want to like follow somebody that at least
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: cares about journalism a little.
• 1:01:50
  Speaker 4: Bit that part.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: And that's one of the things I appreciate about Dave.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: Like one thing I've learned about him is like he says,
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: if I'm gonna do something, I'm gonna study it. And
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: one of them I love this this phrase that my
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: daddy says at church before he reads the word. It says,
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: this is my Bible and it I will seek God's
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: guidance and it I will seek the purpose it has
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: for my life. I will trust its content because it
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 1: is the Word of God.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 4: In it.
• 1:02:17
  Speaker 1: I will study to show myself approved. And some of
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: us do not want to study to show ourselves approved.
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: We just want, like you say, the glitz and the glamour,
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: But when you get in it, you like, oh, I
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 1: didn't know. I had to be consistent and think, Oh
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: I didn't know. I couldn't just go be emotional. I'm
• 1:02:34
  Speaker 1: gonna tell you the truth. Early today is recordingday, and
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: I did not feel like it. Then when I woke
• 1:02:38
  Speaker 1: up this morning, I did not in my mind, I
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: did not feel like talking to anybody.
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 4: I didn't even want to talk to myself.
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 2: Mm and those are real days. It's worked the same point.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: If you just do it when you feel like it,
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 2: you ain't gonna never do it because life is gonna life,
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 2: and life life's even more when you decide to be
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: a creative man. Them bills here different, them, relationships hit different.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: People not showing up for you hits different, It feels different.
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 2: You gotta be able to motivate yourself because some days
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: you're the only person that's gonna do it.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 1: Exactly. Cookie, we could talk for like two hours, like
• 1:03:14
  Speaker 1: real talk. I love I love you. I love you girl.
• 1:03:17
  Speaker 1: If you didn't know it, you know it today. I
• 1:03:19
  Speaker 1: really love you. You have a special place in my heart.
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 1: And I'm, like I said earlier, I'm rooting for you.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: Does a ray you got something to say to Cook
• 1:03:27
  Speaker 1: because I know I know it was like this is
• 1:03:29
  Speaker 1: my first interaction.
• 1:03:30
  Speaker 2: And I love it. You know.
• 1:03:33
  Speaker 1: I love the the boldness, like because that's honestly, that's
• 1:03:37
  Speaker 1: like the inner I think, the inner girl that want
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: to come out that don't come out, you know what
• 1:03:41
  Speaker 1: I'm saying. So I love when somebody can just be
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: their authentic selves and like it really you showing up
• 1:03:48
  Speaker 1: as yourself and you doing what you're called to do
• 1:03:50
  Speaker 1: in your purpose will definitely help somebody. I myself do
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: the same in the space that I'm called to. So
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: I just want to think. And it was a pleasure.
• 1:03:59
  Speaker 1: They ain't gonna let it was a pleasure of meeting you.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I need to say some of the just real quick,
• 1:04:05
  Speaker 2: because when you be on these we used to be
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 2: on these calls, there was a theme with your questions
• 1:04:11
  Speaker 2: to like Dave and CJ. And it always seems like
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 2: every once in a while you seem like you stuck
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: or you be doubting yourself, And I just like, when
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 2: you do it, I'll be confused because I'd be like,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 2: for what I don't I don't get it. Like you
• 1:04:26
  Speaker 2: you work and we've seen the fruit of your labor
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 2: and the opportunities to come with it. So I'm always like,
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: I mean, first of all, I'll be like, man, she
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: capp and she I think she just wanted to talk
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 2: today because ain't no way this girl. Now, I just
• 1:04:37
  Speaker 2: be confused with it that sometimes I don't trust it,
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 2: Like how are you doubting yourself or are you watching
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 2: the elevation of what's going on, which you I'll really
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 2: be confused at how you be out here bossing up,
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 2: but you still be like letting stuff like that come
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 2: out of your mouth, and I just thinking that has
• 1:04:51
  Speaker 2: no business coming out of your mouth because you ain't
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: just serious about your platform, You're serious about your walk
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: with God, which because you have that foundation, you gonna
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: be good. It's a little racket mom out here that
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 2: just be trying to do whatever and then still expecting fruit.
• 1:05:05
  Speaker 2: So I'm just want to let you know, I really
• 1:05:07
  Speaker 2: be utterly confused when you be having no moments and
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 2: you be asking them questions because I just don't see
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 2: where it comes from. I just feel like it should
• 1:05:14
  Speaker 2: have no place. I don't. I'm just gonna say it.
• 1:05:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I don't know why you say that. I
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 2: don't know why you say things like that. I don't.
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like Desiree Finn ask. So I'm just
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: gonna be quiet because you're right, Thank you Cookie.
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: Oh.
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, I'm just they just told me this
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: this week. He told Ill, told all of us that
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: we had to trust ourselves. And then I went up
• 1:05:45
  Speaker 1: to him and I said, I like you, but you
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 1: made me feel so uncomfortable, meaning that every time I'm
• 1:05:54
  Speaker 1: talking to him, it's not like, oh, it's a bad idea,
• 1:05:57
  Speaker 1: because you know we CJ talked to UH tells us
• 1:06:00
  Speaker 1: about the idea. The part you trust the person, not
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 1: necessarily idea of the person is the credible thing. And
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: I think I just got to get to a point
• 1:06:07
  Speaker 1: where I truy like this is my reality, this is
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: what I do, and I can be confident about that
• 1:06:13
  Speaker 1: and you know what I'm saying, just walk in the boldness.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 1: And that's one thing that's why I like about you, Like,
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: thank you for that, poor, thank you, thank you for that.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: That means a lot coming from you, It really does.
• 1:06:24
  Speaker 4: No, I'm not capping.
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 1: I genuinely have moments like that to be a desiraate
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 1: argue all the time regarding that. That's something that I'm
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 1: continuously working on. So thank you for coming for my
• 1:06:34
  Speaker 1: nick on my podcast.
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: Genuinely be like, girl, if you want to talk, just
• 1:06:39
  Speaker 2: say that. Hell, that's literally happy. I just be like,
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 2: what do you? What do you mean? And I don't
• 1:06:46
  Speaker 2: get it, But but I don't walk your walk. I
• 1:06:49
  Speaker 2: don't I'm not in your body and I don't have
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: your brain. So I can't speak to what goes on
• 1:06:54
  Speaker 2: with you outside of this because we all got lines
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: outside of this.
• 1:06:56
  Speaker 4: So yeah, yeah, thank you Cookie.
• 1:07:00
  Speaker 1: One of the things that we do here on just
• 1:07:02
  Speaker 1: as the podcast Cookie is we give our guests the
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: final final word, the final thought for the opportunity for
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 1: this space. And so if no, if they didn't hear
• 1:07:13
  Speaker 1: anything out of the last hour that we spent together,
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 1: what is the thing that you want to leave with
• 1:07:19
  Speaker 1: the audience today?
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: Intentionality and everything you do? What are the when you
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: decide that you want to do a thing, when you
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: decide that you want to connect with people, when you
• 1:07:27
  Speaker 2: decide to do anything, and ask yourself, what are the
• 1:07:30
  Speaker 2: intentions behind this? What is the real goal? I think
• 1:07:33
  Speaker 2: that if we got real with ourselves about why we're
• 1:07:36
  Speaker 2: trying to do what we do, it would eliminate a
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: whole lot of mess. Just a question that only you
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: can truly answer yourself, not the one that looks good
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 2: on social media or on the mic. What's the intentions
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: behind this and why.
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 4: That's good?
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 1: I think that's solid deals Very like Cookie, you family,
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: welcome to the gist.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 4: As the podcast fell, we're.
• 1:07:56
  Speaker 1: Gonna have to have all man y'all, y'all show my
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: girls from love, not just by coming in and liking
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 1: this episode, but y'all go over to her platform. Of
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: course we'll have all her information and description, but please
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: go over to the Dirty Dirty Bag podcast and just
• 1:08:13
  Speaker 1: subscribe that. If you can do that, that helps us
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: so much. We can get a lot of things done
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 1: with numbers. I'll just keep it at that.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 4: We can do get a lot of things done with numbers.
• 1:08:25
  Speaker 4: Or are you about to say something? Cookie?
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 2: Vote? Go and go vote, but hit the link in
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 2: my bio and vote.
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, we'll put the link on this on the this podcast,
• 1:08:34
  Speaker 1: so make sure you put it in the description too. So, y'all,
• 1:08:39
  Speaker 1: I think I think it's been said all day. This
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: has been a great time with Cookie Brown. Thank you Cookie,
• 1:08:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you desiree as always, and thank you family until
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 1: next week. Until next time, remember life could be much
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 1: more simple if you just asked.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: Thank you for tuning in to this week's episode.
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 1: Since you've made it this far, you might as well
• 1:09:06
  Speaker 1: connect with us on all social media platforms at the
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: Jessica S.
• 1:09:10
  Speaker 2: Smith.
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 1: I know I won't see you back until next week,
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 1: but until then, remember to love always yourself and always thank.
• 1:09:21
  Speaker 2: Thank God for one another day.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: Hey, Hey, I know we could be another way. Hey,
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 3: pray thank God for another day. Hey Hey, I'm just
• 1:09:37
  Speaker 3: thankful for another day. Hey Hey another day? Oh, another
• 1:09:44
  Speaker 3: day wise, another day to get it right, another day
• 1:09:47
  Speaker 3: to rise up, another day living, another day. We loved ones.
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: I always remember hold it down for a ball one,
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: yuh