Latest / QUESTION EVERYTHING / Cultivating Gratitude + Grace: A Meditation with Kimberlee Soo

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Cultivating Gratitude + Grace: A Meditation with Kimberlee Soo · QUESTION EVERYTHING

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  Speaker 1: Big things happen when you're pretty, pretty bold, pretty clever,
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  Speaker 1: Happy mid November. Can you believe we're in mid November?
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  Speaker 1: I remember celebrating the new year last year.
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  Speaker 2: I can't believe we're mid November. But it means that.
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  Speaker 1: Thanksgiving is coming up next week and we're not going
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  Speaker 1: to have an episode. We're skipping next week, but we
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  Speaker 1: will be back the following week with an interview and
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  Speaker 1: conversation with Jada Pinkett Smith. So even though we're skipping
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  Speaker 1: next week, you won't want to miss the week after
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  Speaker 1: a promise. So in the spirit of Thanksgiving, today is
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  Speaker 1: all about gratitude. And over the last few years, we
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  Speaker 1: as a culture have been asking questions about the origin
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  Speaker 1: of holidays like Thanksgiving, like Fourth of July, and these
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  Speaker 1: are all questions that we should be asking. We should
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  Speaker 1: be learning about whose land we're on, learn the real history,
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  Speaker 1: learn to listen to indigenous voices, and also to celebrate
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  Speaker 1: with whoever feels like our family at that time and
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  Speaker 1: to enjoy a meal with them, and to think about gratitude,
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  Speaker 1: which is a huge element of Thanksgiving. I feel like
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  Speaker 1: thinking about gratitude via Thanksgiving, which is basically a vehicle,
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  Speaker 1: is just a chance to re energize, reconnect, and refocus
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  Speaker 1: on your goals and what matters most to us in life.
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  Speaker 1: We all know at this point the science behind gratitude.
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  Speaker 1: Here's one study I like to cite. Two psychologists, doctor
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  Speaker 1: Robert A. Emmons of UC Davis and doctor Michael E.
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  Speaker 1: McCullough of the University of Miami have done multiple research
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  Speaker 1: projects on gratitude. In one study, they asked all the
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  Speaker 1: participants to write a few sentences each week, focusing on
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  Speaker 1: particular topics. One group wrote about things they were grateful
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  Speaker 1: for that had occurred during the week, and a second
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  Speaker 1: group wrote about daily irritations. So basically, one group wrote
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  Speaker 1: about gratitude and the other group wrote about gripes. After
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  Speaker 1: ten weeks, those who wrote about gratitude were more optimistic
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  Speaker 1: felt better about their lives. They also exercised more and
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  Speaker 1: had fewer visits to physicians than those who focused on
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  Speaker 1: the gripes the aggravation. So how can we live a
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  Speaker 1: grateful life because it doesn't always come naturally.
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  Speaker 2: Well, let's start with this.
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  Speaker 1: The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia,
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  Speaker 1: which means grace or graciousness. In some ways, gratitude encompasses
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  Speaker 1: all of these meanings. I think about it like this,
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  Speaker 1: grace is an extension of gratitude, and the more grateful
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  Speaker 1: we are, the more grace we lead with.
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  Speaker 2: How do we cultivate this? Well, there's a ton of ways. Right.
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  Speaker 1: We can write a thank you note. I actually had
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  Speaker 1: a friend who suggested sending like an email chain of thankfulness,
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  Speaker 1: writing five emails each month, just sending a quick thank
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  Speaker 1: you note to people who've enhanced our lives. It felt
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  Speaker 1: like a chain reaction of gratitude. I loved that idea.
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  Speaker 1: Some people just thank people mentally, and it just helps
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  Speaker 1: to think about somebody who's done something nice for you.
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  Speaker 1: Some people keep a gratitude journal, some people count their blessings,
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  Speaker 1: some people pray, and some people meditate.
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  Speaker 2: So today I'm excited to.
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  Speaker 1: Share a gratitude meditation, and I'm even more excited to
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  Speaker 1: share it with you because the woman who recorded it.
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  Speaker 2: Is named Kimberly Suit.
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  Speaker 1: She's a writer and private yoga instructor based in Los Angeles.
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  Speaker 1: She's dedicated to humans finding their authentic voice and collaborates
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  Speaker 1: as an editor and story developer, primarily with memoirs. Kimberly's
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  Speaker 1: practice yoga and meditation for over thirty years, and she
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  Speaker 1: began teaching just in twenty twenty one and taking on
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  Speaker 1: private clients shortly after. She's passionate about walking alongside those
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  Speaker 1: who wish to dynamically evolve and expand their knowledge and
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  Speaker 1: self through mindful modalities, and she really lives it. I'm
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  Speaker 1: one of Kimberly's yoga students. She teaches at Urban seven
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  Speaker 1: to eight in Los Angeles, which is a studio I
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  Speaker 1: found through Kat Sadler. Actually Kat put me on to
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  Speaker 1: this beautiful studio, and I totally had a love hate
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  Speaker 1: relationship with yoga for the last fifteen years. I've always
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  Speaker 1: dipped in and out because I love what it gives me,
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  Speaker 1: But it was so hard for me. It didn't come
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  Speaker 1: naturally the way other things other activities did. But through
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  Speaker 1: Kimberly's teachings, I realized it was hard because I wanted
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  Speaker 1: to be great at it, have perfect form.
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  Speaker 2: That's just not how yoga works for me.
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  Speaker 1: So now at the beginning of her class, I release
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  Speaker 1: any expectations I have for how the class is supposed
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  Speaker 1: to go, or how my body is supposed to look,
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  Speaker 1: or how it's supposed to work, and I breathe into
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  Speaker 1: whatever flows. I feel like the lessons I learned on
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  Speaker 1: the mat is really the lesson I needed to receive
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  Speaker 1: in life. And even in my interviews, for example, for
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  Speaker 1: years people have been telling me to relax. I've always
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  Speaker 1: felt like it was a double bind because that intense
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  Speaker 1: focus in work and always being prepared, that's what it
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  Speaker 1: took to get to this point.
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  Speaker 2: That's what's carried me.
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  Speaker 1: And now you want me to chill. But now I
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  Speaker 1: finally get it, and I can't believe yoga was the
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  Speaker 1: vehicle that got me here. And when I say yoga,
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  Speaker 1: what's behind that is Kimberly's teachings. And what she taught
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  Speaker 1: me was gratitude for what is, not gratitude for what
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  Speaker 1: you have or how you feel, even just gratitude for
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  Speaker 1: what you are, for what you are at that very moment.
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  Speaker 2: At the very present moment in time.
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  Speaker 1: So if her teachings and her voice and her meditation
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  Speaker 1: that she shared with us touches you as much as
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  Speaker 1: she's touched me, reach out to her.
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  Speaker 2: She's on Instagram at.
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  Speaker 1: KSU Yoga Ksoyoga, and she teaches at Urban seven to
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  Speaker 1: eight yoga, So feel free to download this episode onto
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  Speaker 1: your phone so that you can replay it throughout the
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  Speaker 1: year whenever you feel like you need a reset, or
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  Speaker 1: a breath or little extra grace.
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  Speaker 3: We begin by finding our seat. Just notice your body
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  Speaker 3: in your space. What might allow you to have the
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  Speaker 3: most ease. Maybe it's sitting with legs crossed, shoulders and
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  Speaker 3: head floating above hips, or sitting against a firm chair
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  Speaker 3: back feet planted on the floor. Maybe it's lying down
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  Speaker 3: with a rolled blanket under your knees. Give yourself permission
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  Speaker 3: to be comfortable. This is your time, and there's no
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  Speaker 3: right way to sit for meditation. You may close your
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  Speaker 3: eyes or soften your gaze, let your jaw relax, shoulders release,
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  Speaker 3: Take a full breath in through the nose.
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  Speaker 4: And out the mouth. Let it go.
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  Speaker 3: Feel the chest rise and fall naturally. There's nothing to control,
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  Speaker 3: nothing to force. The body has been breathing since the
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  Speaker 3: day you were born, just for you, your life force,
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  Speaker 3: supporting you with ease and authenticity. Feel your breath in
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  Speaker 3: your body, notice any urge to affect its pattern. Be
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  Speaker 3: with the impulse without judging it, and allow it to
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  Speaker 3: keep its natural rhythm. Thank yourself for showing up just
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  Speaker 3: as you are. Whether you sit daily or this is
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  Speaker 3: your first time exploring meditation, you have already shown yourself
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  Speaker 3: to be powerful by saying yes to the un known,
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  Speaker 3: by pressing play, by choosing to be with yourself in
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  Speaker 3: this moment, open to this or any practice. You are
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  Speaker 3: an explorer, a curious seeker. Thank yourself for being adventurous.
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  Speaker 3: Now to recognize your freedom, your ability to prioritize well being,
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  Speaker 3: to share this ethereal online space, and take time for yourself.
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  Speaker 3: You are allowed to step away from the external world
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  Speaker 3: for a time, to disengage from doing, producing, from processing,
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  Speaker 3: and executing. You exist aside from responsibility, tragedy, urgency. It's
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  Speaker 3: okay to be unburdened. It's okay to let go. This
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  Speaker 3: is not a denial of the realities of our world
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  Speaker 3: or an escape into purposeful ignorance, but a renewal of
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  Speaker 3: your connection to your personal power, a conscious cutting through
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  Speaker 3: continual noise and activity to allow your spirit space to refresh, recharge,
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  Speaker 3: and renew.
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  Speaker 5: Take a full breath in, breath out. By doing this,
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  Speaker 5: you strengthen.
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  Speaker 3: Your ability to be in the world, to give and receive,
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  Speaker 3: to engage and be present By doing this, you become
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  Speaker 3: aware of your default settings, your way of relating to
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  Speaker 3: your experiences, and with renewed consciousness, you make better informed
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  Speaker 3: decisions about how to participate in your own life as
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  Speaker 3: well as the lives of others. We look at our
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  Speaker 3: default settings to see if they still serve us?
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  Speaker 4: Are they kind?
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  Speaker 3: Are they helpful? Breathing, breathe out default settings. Here we
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  Speaker 3: are in November, the remainder of this year before us,
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  Speaker 3: the calendar dotted with familiar holidays up next Thanksgiving.
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  Speaker 4: What's your default around Thanksgiving? Growing up?
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  Speaker 3: For me, it was family gatherings, sitting at the kids' table,
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  Speaker 3: who's bringing a hot dish, hopefully yellow salad, borrowing folding
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  Speaker 3: chairs from the church, and so many doors. After moving
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  Speaker 3: across the country a few times, my default shifted to
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  Speaker 3: gatherings with chosen family, learning to make vegan gravy, and
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  Speaker 3: reevaluating my comforts celebrating the holiday at all. Yet along
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  Speaker 3: the way, Thanksgiving dinner always included the tradition of gratitude,
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  Speaker 3: reflecting on the things that we are thankful for, naming
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  Speaker 3: those things specifically. I always found it fascinating, whether I
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  Speaker 3: was fifteen or fifty one, how it would be my
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  Speaker 3: turn to share, and with the first words not even
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  Speaker 3: on my tongue, I'd be near tears, emotion rising in
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  Speaker 3: my chest, a full body sensation of humbling gratitude. When
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  Speaker 3: I think of myself sitting at a dozen different tables,
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  Speaker 3: my turn coming, I can feel the sensations rise right now,
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  Speaker 3: deep breath in software release. Phil Stats writes about this
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  Speaker 3: in his book The Tools How. There is a higher
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  Speaker 3: force available to us at all times, called the grateful flow.
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  Speaker 3: Beyond the cerebral and intellectual understanding of gratitude, there is
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  Speaker 3: a physical sensation created when we ponder those things which
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  Speaker 3: we deeply appreciate. This sensation exists separate from the thought,
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  Speaker 3: and we have the potential to draw from it. Some
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  Speaker 3: call it connecting to source, some say holy spirit. Others
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  Speaker 3: consider it purely neurotransmission, the firing of electrical impulses. However
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  Speaker 3: you choose to define it. Take a moment now and
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  Speaker 3: bring to mind a loved one, someone who has allowed
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  Speaker 3: you to experience being known and understood, someone who is
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  Speaker 3: a safe space for you, who feels like home. Take
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  Speaker 3: your time and picture them with your mind's eye, their
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  Speaker 3: physical stance, their smile, hear the sound of their voice,
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  Speaker 3: their laughter. Imagine yourself and their presence. Imagine and embrace
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  Speaker 3: holding these images, sounds, and contact in your mind.
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  Speaker 4: Take your attention to the center of your chest.
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  Speaker 3: Notice any stimulus there above your heart and expanding, humming, vibrating,
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  Speaker 3: a softening, maybe a spaciousness. Breathe into any sensation and
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  Speaker 3: spread it across your sternum, your shoulders, up your neck,
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  Speaker 3: encircling the crown of your head. Feel any prickles on
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  Speaker 3: your scalp, any buzzing down your arms, any sensation in
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  Speaker 3: the tips of your fingers. It may help to visualize
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  Speaker 3: the sensation as a bright light, a warm color. Inhaling,
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  Speaker 3: the light brightens, the feeling intensifies. Exhale the warmth and
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  Speaker 3: glow remains. Breathe into sensation, let it land.
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  Speaker 6: Exhale.
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  Speaker 3: Now you have gratitude as a tangible sensation in the body,
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  Speaker 3: a focal point for your attention. A tingling on the crown,
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  Speaker 3: a butterfly beneath your ribs. These sensations of gratitude are
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  Speaker 3: always available, always an immediate pathway away from the spinning mind,
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  Speaker 3: external urgency, internal anxiety, towards this pocket of protected peace.
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  Speaker 3: Your grateful thoughts gave you access to a physical state
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  Speaker 3: that is now independent of thought, unperturbed by the thinking mind.
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  Speaker 3: Breathe into that peace and feel it expand. If the
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  Speaker 3: sensation passes, you may return to thoughts of your loved one,
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  Speaker 3: or move on to other things that bring you joy.
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  Speaker 3: A favorite song, book, poem, spot in nature, the smell
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  Speaker 3: of your favorite candle, feel of your favorite sweater. Place
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  Speaker 3: your attention on the rose, the river, the flame. Actively
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  Speaker 3: immerse yourself in their tangibility. Wrap those feelings around yourself,
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  Speaker 3: and then return to the center of your chest. Convert
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  Speaker 3: it to that bright, warm energy. Fill your body with breath.
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  Speaker 3: Breathe out. Fill your body with your life force.
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  Speaker 4: Breathe out.
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  Speaker 3: Practice tuning into the completeness already contained at your core.
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  Speaker 3: Regardless of external circumstance, responsibility, tragedy, urgency, no one can
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  Speaker 3: take your wholeness from you. Breathe into it, Breathe out fear.
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  Speaker 3: By sitting with ourselves, looking at our defaults, we choose
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  Speaker 3: our state of being, remindfully, evaluate our settings, and rewire
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  Speaker 3: as needed.
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  Speaker 4: In this way, we build trust with ourselves.
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  Speaker 3: We practice self regulation and are equipped to engage with
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  Speaker 3: every life experience from a fully embodied strength. Gratitude is
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  Speaker 3: a pathway, and our breath is our guide. Breathing in,
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  Speaker 3: breathing out. Take a hand of the chest, feel the
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  Speaker 3: rise and fall of your authentic breath, and thank yourself
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  Speaker 3: for showing up to knowing yourself more deeply.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, you know what time it is. Today's a
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  Speaker 1: good day. To have a good day. I'll see you
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  Speaker 1: next week.
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  Speaker 4: M