Latest / The Big Cunty Couch / Holiday Raffle with The InQueery! | TBCC Ep. 18

Transcript

Holiday Raffle with The InQueery! | TBCC Ep. 18 · The Big Cunty Couch

0:00
SPEAKER_05: Fellas, is it gay to top a tree?
0:02
SPEAKER_05: You tell me.
0:04
SPEAKER_05: Happy holidays from the big county couch.
0:06
SPEAKER_05: It is I, Gina the Christmas Angel, here to kick off our holiday spectacular.
0:11
SPEAKER_05: Tonight it's charity auction vibes because this year, give her something that says, What is your problem?
0:17
SPEAKER_04: Now, in the sung words of Belle from the straight to DVD sequel to Beauty and the Beast, as long as there's Christmas, I truly believe.
0:29
SPEAKER_05: But do you?
0:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
0:43
SPEAKER_03: Holiday season.
0:44
SPEAKER_03: What are we doing?
0:46
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
0:47
SPEAKER_03: This is crazy.
0:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
0:49
SPEAKER_03: I finally, I think I finally know what it feels like to be Gina, because I'm like trying to balance this fucking thing on my head.
0:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, just a headpiece.
0:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
0:56
SPEAKER_03: This drag is valid.
0:58
SPEAKER_05: Um, welcome to hell.
1:01
SPEAKER_03: As Zina.
1:02
SPEAKER_03: This feels like hell.
1:03
SPEAKER_05: No, it gets worse.
1:03
SPEAKER_05: I'm talking, it's just many, many layers.
1:05
SPEAKER_05: You're in a suit.
1:06
SPEAKER_05: But uh yeah, that is, I have worn that before, and I had you hit a lot of things.
1:10
SPEAKER_05: I've hit everything.
1:12
SPEAKER_03: Everything in the studio has been destroyed today because of my giant hat.
1:15
SPEAKER_03: Happy holidays.
1:16
SPEAKER_03: Happy holidays to you.
1:18
SPEAKER_03: We are back.
1:19
SPEAKER_03: It's been a long time since we've done this.
1:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, forgive us, literally, all four listeners.
1:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, we are so rusty.
1:27
SPEAKER_03: We've been out of the studio uh prepping season two, and we decided to jump back in for the fourth time uh to do a holiday special.
1:35
SPEAKER_03: Totally.
1:35
SPEAKER_03: But you know what comments um Rust?
1:38
SPEAKER_03: What?
1:39
SPEAKER_03: Christmas.
1:40
SPEAKER_03: The holidays.
1:41
SPEAKER_03: Is this non-denominational?
1:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:44
SPEAKER_03: Somehow.
1:44
SPEAKER_03: Somehow, yeah.
1:45
SPEAKER_03: It is.
1:46
SPEAKER_03: I'm a Christmas angel.
1:48
SPEAKER_03: We have so much to talk about, I feel.
1:50
SPEAKER_03: Truly, so much to talk about.
1:52
SPEAKER_03: But uh for starters, I feel like I've never looked uglier.
1:57
SPEAKER_05: Which I don't know why.
1:59
SPEAKER_05: I mean, this was like a last minute thing that we, you know, pulled together for a very special reason, and which you'll soon find out.
2:06
SPEAKER_05: So this isn't the Christmas look of my dreams.
2:08
SPEAKER_05: Right.
2:09
SPEAKER_05: I've always wanted to do like, you know, Christmas all out with like cloak, that screen and fur line, that like really classic kind of Christmas.
2:18
SPEAKER_03: But it didn't happen.
2:19
SPEAKER_03: I tried to get it on Etsy, all this shit.
2:21
SPEAKER_03: Right.
2:21
SPEAKER_03: Ended up um dealing with a serial killer, essentially.
2:25
SPEAKER_03: And um, the result is this is the bee costume.
2:28
SPEAKER_03: This is the bee costume?
2:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like, whoa! This is you.
2:32
SPEAKER_05: She's a treetopper.
2:34
SPEAKER_03: She's a treetopper.
2:36
SPEAKER_03: I mean, I first of all, I don't think you look ugly.
2:38
SPEAKER_03: Second of all, I do, though.
2:39
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you're not wearing a wig.
2:40
SPEAKER_03: You're we're wearing a custom foiled, glittered, golden foam headpiece.
2:46
SPEAKER_03: It is.
2:46
SPEAKER_03: I've been doing costume stuff for Nordstrom, their holiday experience, and you've been helping me.
2:50
SPEAKER_05: And we glittered these, a bunch of foam hats that we got on Etsy.
2:54
SPEAKER_05: So I can't say I made this, but I did encrust it, and it's way cooler.
2:58
SPEAKER_05: No offense to the person who just did the foam.
3:00
SPEAKER_05: This really took it there.
3:01
SPEAKER_05: It's fully offense.
3:02
SPEAKER_05: This took it to a retail experience, you know?
3:05
SPEAKER_05: And so last night I actually went back into the store and stole them back for this.
3:09
SPEAKER_05: Right.
3:10
SPEAKER_05: I was like, this needs a repair.
3:12
SPEAKER_05: And then I just like left.
3:14
SPEAKER_05: It's like, Sally, I'm wearing this.
3:16
SPEAKER_05: Sorry, this is for darkness.
3:17
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, I'm wearing that.
3:18
SPEAKER_05: Because like the person who was wearing it wasn't appreciative enough.
3:21
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, you're the Grand Dame Diva out of the three that we did.
3:24
SPEAKER_05: Like, the gold is where it's at.
3:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there was gold, red, and like red.
3:28
SPEAKER_03: You'd be grateful.
3:29
SPEAKER_03: That's the holidays are all about being grateful for the customer.
3:32
SPEAKER_03: But now cut to me with it on, and I'm like, I look so ugly.
3:35
SPEAKER_03: Like, this is awful.
3:36
SPEAKER_03: I think it's because I'm tired and I have like, I don't know, small eyes.
3:39
SPEAKER_03: I I mean little sesame seeds.
3:41
SPEAKER_03: It's only only you can tell what that means.
3:44
SPEAKER_03: Admit that like something's a little different.
3:45
SPEAKER_03: I admit what?
3:47
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
3:48
SPEAKER_03: That might be swollen, tired, weird, something like massive.
3:51
SPEAKER_03: I think it's going on.
3:52
SPEAKER_03: It's the glitter brows.
3:53
SPEAKER_03: Really?
3:54
SPEAKER_03: I think so.
3:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
3:56
SPEAKER_03: Why?
3:56
SPEAKER_03: They're ugly.
3:57
SPEAKER_03: No, they're not ugly.
3:58
SPEAKER_03: They just they don't define your face in the way your drag makeup normally does because they're because they're super light.
4:02
SPEAKER_03: So you look like you look browless.
4:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and like buff something.
4:07
SPEAKER_03: It's like high up.
4:07
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
4:08
SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
4:08
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's like you get what you have giant bangs and yet somehow a big forehead, you've no brows, you're wearing a giant chest piece, but then no shoulder strap.
4:15
SPEAKER_03: So it's just like it's everything is wrong in the in the right.
4:17
SPEAKER_03: Super busted.
4:18
SPEAKER_03: But um, whatever.
4:20
SPEAKER_03: Today's not about me.
4:21
SPEAKER_03: It's about charity.
4:22
SPEAKER_03: No, it's about charity.
4:23
SPEAKER_03: It's about charity.
4:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we love charity.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: We do.
4:26
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, I keep fucking with my head.
4:28
SPEAKER_03: I said charity.
4:28
SPEAKER_03: With my headpiece because it's um a huge.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
4:31
SPEAKER_03: Uh how are you?
4:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm great.
4:33
SPEAKER_05: I was gonna say, Who you wearing and what is your problem?
4:35
SPEAKER_05: You've been kind of talking about me.
4:36
SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, but we can definitely, I mean, we weren't doing our segments for the summer season, but I think we have to do who you wearing and what is your problem and week and gay and all this stuff for uh for this one.
4:44
SPEAKER_03: We kind of talked about Maya.
4:45
SPEAKER_03: But what is your problem?
4:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that I look pregnant.
4:48
SPEAKER_03: Like, like, you know when like a woman is pregnant and um haggard for like the first.
4:53
SPEAKER_03: I mean, Italians say when it's a girl, the the baby sucks the beauty.
4:56
SPEAKER_03: Right, right, right.
4:57
SPEAKER_03: Gina's pregnant and she's having literally seven girls based on how my face looks.
5:02
SPEAKER_03: Like pounded focaccia with like two peppercorns for eyes.
5:06
SPEAKER_03: Well, speaking of Italian, and this is sort of a weekend guy, did you hear that the shooter who killed the uh healthcare CEO is he's Italian?
5:12
SPEAKER_03: His name is Luigi Manzioni or something.
5:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh god.
5:15
SPEAKER_03: Uh I'm gonna be honest, I'm a little behind on the shooting because I've been so swamped with these holiday jobs.
5:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I need it to go away and end so I can catch up on the shooter.
5:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's important because everyone loves the shooter.
5:27
SPEAKER_03: And uh not on and he's hot, he's really hot.
5:31
SPEAKER_03: Whatever, we can't talk about shootings on uh Christmas morning.
5:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's Christmas morning somewhere.
5:37
SPEAKER_05: Wait, you know what is my problem?
5:38
SPEAKER_05: Sorry.
5:39
SPEAKER_05: Go go off.
5:39
SPEAKER_05: This is still not within like the holiday tone, but um, I am a KTU listener, obviously.
5:45
SPEAKER_05: And uh the top dog radio spots for that law firm.
5:49
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, they're awful.
5:51
SPEAKER_03: New Yorkers.
5:51
SPEAKER_03: Have you guys heard them?
5:52
SPEAKER_03: The Top Dog?
5:53
SPEAKER_03: New Yorkers, if you're listening and listening to local radio, they are insane.
5:57
SPEAKER_03: I texted KTU the other day saying you should take them down.
5:59
SPEAKER_03: They're offensive and abrasive and really, really bad.
6:02
SPEAKER_03: We might need to like put in a clip of it because like if you haven't heard them, it's truly deranged.
6:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's some guy screaming and we've talked about this.
6:09
SPEAKER_03: They feel like they're like off the top of his head.
6:11
SPEAKER_03: Like, totally.
6:12
SPEAKER_03: They did there was no writing.
6:13
SPEAKER_03: No, no writing.
6:14
SPEAKER_03: Just got in the booth, they got what they got.
6:15
SPEAKER_03: It's really like abrasive, is the word.
6:17
SPEAKER_03: Truly.
6:18
SPEAKER_00: You know I'm paralyzed! You know I'm paralyzed from the left down from this accident.
6:22
SPEAKER_00: Oh, my dad was trying to go to the store.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: And y'all talking to me about the money.
6:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't give up about no money, man.
6:30
SPEAKER_00: Talking about a mil two mil.
6:32
SPEAKER_00: Man, I can't walk, man.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: I don't give up about that mill or two mil.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna walk again.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: Accidents are real.
6:40
SPEAKER_03: It's horrible, but um, I just wanted to tell you that I texted KTU.
6:43
SPEAKER_03: I'm glad.
6:44
SPEAKER_03: I hope you guys continue to have a a lifelong.
6:48
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
6:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
6:49
SPEAKER_03: Actually, that's to be my drag name, KT KTU.
6:53
SPEAKER_03: Very local.
6:54
SPEAKER_03: Very local.
6:55
SPEAKER_03: Well, what is your problem?
6:57
SPEAKER_03: Well, who are we?
6:58
SPEAKER_03: What is your problem?
6:58
SPEAKER_03: Well, um, so I put this this look on and I said, Oh, I'm the Joker.
7:02
SPEAKER_03: Uh, that was what I felt first and foremost.
7:05
SPEAKER_03: Um It's giving Bernard Core.
7:07
SPEAKER_03: What is Bernard?
7:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Bernard from the from the Santa Fox.
7:11
SPEAKER_03: I think it's funny if we don't say who Bernard is.
7:13
SPEAKER_05: Because if you don't know who Bernard is.
7:14
SPEAKER_03: Bernard Core.
7:15
SPEAKER_03: If you don't know who Bernard is, like you might need a you're in the wrong place.
7:18
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, ah for once, like, I'm not falling apart.
7:23
SPEAKER_03: I am a mess.
7:24
SPEAKER_03: I'm a mess.
7:25
SPEAKER_03: Okay, is he back?
7:26
SPEAKER_03: And also, Mike put on blush because he's like a horny elf, I guess.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
7:29
SPEAKER_03: Um, but it's throwing me off because you look embarrassed.
7:33
SPEAKER_03: Well, I am for one.
7:35
SPEAKER_03: And you should be.
7:36
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, you look embarrassed as I'm like fucking this.
7:40
SPEAKER_03: Is that you're okay?
7:42
SPEAKER_03: It's incredible.
7:43
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
7:43
SPEAKER_03: Uh no, I'm wearing a uh polyester red suit from a from a never um completed sketch from Sister's Weekend.
7:48
SPEAKER_03: So this is archival.
7:50
SPEAKER_03: Uh green iridescent Calvin shirt.
7:53
SPEAKER_03: So that's designer.
7:54
SPEAKER_03: Uh, and then a giant custom foam elf hat, courtesy of Yumi and Etsy.
7:59
SPEAKER_03: It's so cool.
8:00
SPEAKER_03: It was originally a Santa hat, but um, it was again for Nordstrom, so it needed to become an L for elf, so we painted a green stripe.
8:06
SPEAKER_05: And I gotta say, that was like we had to do it because it just had to be for elf, but we improved it so much better now.
8:11
SPEAKER_05: One Hundo P.
8:12
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
8:12
SPEAKER_05: I thought it was just mandatory, like I had to like add those things, but it got more gorgeous.
8:17
SPEAKER_05: It really did.
8:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:18
SPEAKER_03: Whoops.
8:18
SPEAKER_03: I feel uh I feel amazing.
8:20
SPEAKER_03: This is like the scale that I need for like hair pieces, heads.
8:23
SPEAKER_03: And we love um an elf ear.
8:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:25
SPEAKER_03: Especially when it's like natural, like a little these are being pushed down by the by the I actually kind of like that because they're getting bigger by the second.
8:33
SPEAKER_03: Nice.
8:33
SPEAKER_03: Um, but don't we always say like men with like a little slight elf ear is kind of horny?
8:39
SPEAKER_03: Do we always say that?
8:40
SPEAKER_03: Actually, he's just your husband, to be honest.
8:41
SPEAKER_03: No, he likes ears that he likes push elf ears.
8:43
SPEAKER_03: No, no, he doesn't want elf ears, he wants them to be pushed out.
8:45
SPEAKER_03: He wants like rounded, normal human ears, but just sticky outy.
8:48
SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
8:49
SPEAKER_03: And sticky outy ears are horny.
8:50
SPEAKER_03: They are to hear first.
8:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
8:52
SPEAKER_03: Um, so this is what I'm wearing.
8:53
SPEAKER_03: And my problem, okay, so my problem is you have to be fucking rich to look good in winter.
9:00
SPEAKER_03: It's winter now, in case you couldn't tell.
9:02
SPEAKER_03: In the summer, if you're wearing like a tank top and like the right length of short, you're like on the cover of Vogue.
9:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're you're incredible, you're a fashionista.
9:09
SPEAKER_03: In winter, unless you're wearing like six thousand dollars worth of anything, you look like a fucking slob mess, pile of trash.
9:17
SPEAKER_03: T.
9:17
SPEAKER_03: Except when I wear like just a t-shirt with that floor-length black.
9:20
SPEAKER_03: Well, yeah, that's you're wearing a fur length, a floor-length fur coat that's with just like a Haynes trip.
9:26
SPEAKER_03: T.
9:27
SPEAKER_03: It looks cool.
9:28
SPEAKER_03: It's gonna be my vibe all summer.
9:29
SPEAKER_03: I hope you're Summer?
9:31
SPEAKER_03: All winter.
9:33
SPEAKER_03: And summer.
9:34
SPEAKER_03: It's gonna be all four seasons.
9:36
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, I um yeah, I don't have enough money to look good in winter, at least to my standards.
9:40
SPEAKER_05: Well, I mean, the face creams alone will break your bank because you get so dry.
9:44
SPEAKER_03: You being universal you.
9:46
SPEAKER_03: Right.
9:46
SPEAKER_03: But also, but also basically it's above average, I would say.
9:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I'm dry.
9:49
SPEAKER_03: It's snowing from your face.
9:52
SPEAKER_03: It's snowing somewhere.
9:53
SPEAKER_03: Um what else?
9:54
SPEAKER_03: What have you been up to?
9:55
SPEAKER_03: Nothing.
9:56
SPEAKER_03: I've been up to nothing.
9:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm that's why I've been helping you with fucking work because I need I need the jobs.
10:00
SPEAKER_03: Daddy, Daddy's dead, okay?
10:01
SPEAKER_03: Daddy, uh Daddy's broken, it sucks.
10:04
SPEAKER_03: Daddy's broken, it sucks.
10:05
SPEAKER_03: Sucks for me and my wig collection.
10:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:07
SPEAKER_03: This is giving like a strange, yeah, rapid pregnancy.
10:11
SPEAKER_03: Um, there I bring up uh Twilight.
10:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, she got pregnant real fast.
10:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she did.
10:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:17
SPEAKER_05: We should watch that.
10:18
SPEAKER_03: Mary didn't get pregnant really fast.
10:19
SPEAKER_03: She just got pregnant.
10:20
SPEAKER_03: Who's Mary?
10:21
SPEAKER_03: Mary, mother of God.
10:22
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Immaculate Conception.
10:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but that wasn't immaculate and fast, it just was immaculate.
10:27
SPEAKER_03: She got pregnant from anal.
10:29
SPEAKER_03: That's what I heard.
10:30
SPEAKER_03: She was like, that's what I heard.
10:33
SPEAKER_03: Wait, weren't you saying that you're referencing my family's tree angel?
10:37
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
10:37
SPEAKER_03: Uh, because I couldn't be like Belle, like Winter Belle.
10:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
10:40
SPEAKER_03: I Mike has a tree angel that has like double-fist double is double fisting lights.
10:46
SPEAKER_03: She's double-fisting Christmas lights?
10:48
SPEAKER_03: Tiny little Christmas lights, yeah.
10:49
SPEAKER_05: Rock and roll! It's very like, she's blazed up.
10:52
SPEAKER_03: She's blitzed.
10:54
SPEAKER_03: I mean, truly not at all.
10:56
SPEAKER_03: She looks horrible.
10:57
SPEAKER_03: We were just talking about this off camera, too, about an ugly Christmas angel, which if they were made anything before probably 2000, they're all ugly.
11:02
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
11:03
SPEAKER_03: My mom has a brunette angel.
11:05
SPEAKER_03: I think mine has an Auburn tinge.
11:07
SPEAKER_03: Like that's sad.
11:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it is.
11:09
SPEAKER_03: You need to be a blonde angel.
11:10
SPEAKER_03: Me?
11:11
SPEAKER_03: No.
11:11
SPEAKER_05: Oh, you.
11:13
SPEAKER_05: Angel in general.
11:14
SPEAKER_05: But yeah, I I am a blonde angel.
11:17
SPEAKER_05: No, but there's nothing more sad than like a brunette tree angel.
11:20
SPEAKER_05: That's messed up.
11:21
SPEAKER_05: It's like, wow.
11:22
SPEAKER_03: Why would you do that?
11:23
SPEAKER_05: Get put some foil, like get a little balayage in there.
11:27
SPEAKER_03: It's you're an angel.
11:28
SPEAKER_03: You're the treetoper.
11:30
SPEAKER_03: Do you like my shoe?
11:31
SPEAKER_03: Love the shoe.
11:31
SPEAKER_03: Kind of psychotic.
11:32
SPEAKER_03: We were saying that it's like very not Gina, and that's why I'm.
11:35
SPEAKER_03: I actually think like a boot with a drop is like Hidiosa.
11:38
SPEAKER_05: But um, if it's holiday, sure.
11:40
SPEAKER_05: It's giving like a little like suggested Santa flap down, maybe.
11:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, sure.
11:45
SPEAKER_03: We've been very busy working on the pod and other stuff.
11:48
SPEAKER_03: I auditioned for drag race.
11:50
SPEAKER_03: You audition for drag race, tape in, casting closed.
11:52
SPEAKER_03: Fingies crossy.
11:53
SPEAKER_03: Fingies crossy.
11:54
SPEAKER_03: We'll see.
11:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
11:55
SPEAKER_03: I go away.
11:56
SPEAKER_03: You'll know why.
11:57
SPEAKER_03: I go away and come back in like two days.
11:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
12:00
SPEAKER_05: Like, oh yeah.
12:01
SPEAKER_03: They like let you go, even though they're not supposed to do that.
12:02
SPEAKER_05: I was studying abroad, but then uh I didn't like it there.
12:06
SPEAKER_03: So we'll see.
12:07
SPEAKER_03: We'll see what happens.
12:09
SPEAKER_05: But it feels really, really good to um have that done.
12:11
SPEAKER_03: Totally.
12:11
SPEAKER_03: It was it was uh and I will never audition again.
12:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's it, honey.
12:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, it was a great tape.
12:16
SPEAKER_03: It's next time he threatening casting.
12:18
SPEAKER_03: It's just you're being honest.
12:19
SPEAKER_03: Um, it was a great tape.
12:21
SPEAKER_03: Um, it was a fuck ton of work, but it was super fun, and we got to show off the pod, which was like kind of the whole point.
12:28
SPEAKER_03: Totally.
12:29
SPEAKER_03: It was great to like put it all.
12:31
SPEAKER_03: What else happened?
12:32
SPEAKER_03: Wicked came out.
12:33
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
12:34
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, I didn't talk to you about that first.
12:35
SPEAKER_03: You finally happened together.
12:37
SPEAKER_05: I saw it once, but like with my nieces and nephews, and it was like bothering me.
12:40
SPEAKER_05: It was like through the lens of like them being annoying.
12:42
SPEAKER_03: Um, so I need to see it with you alone, and I kind of want to see it with Sarah alone, and then like maybe alone alone.
12:47
SPEAKER_03: Uh that'd be freaky, huh?
12:49
SPEAKER_03: You're you that's freaky.
12:50
SPEAKER_03: You're freaky.
12:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
12:51
SPEAKER_03: You're like, I'm not even again, I'm not sure.
12:52
SPEAKER_03: You're fantasizing about going to see Wicked again.
12:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, all I want for Christmas is to see Wicked again and alone.
12:59
SPEAKER_03: But my theater didn't have the volume up and loud enough.
13:01
SPEAKER_03: I know.
13:02
SPEAKER_03: Once I saw that tweet, I was like, he's gonna say this is his theater.
13:05
SPEAKER_03: No, I swear to God, I know like you think that, but I wasn't I was it was low.
13:12
SPEAKER_03: The volume.
13:13
SPEAKER_03: The volume was shockingly low, and I did complain and they didn't do anything.
13:16
SPEAKER_03: I think they almost turned it down in spite.
13:17
SPEAKER_03: They're like, this faggot.
13:18
SPEAKER_03: Get in the theater.
13:20
SPEAKER_03: Um well, how do you feel after seeing it?
13:22
SPEAKER_03: I mean, you've been talking about it for the last year and a half.
13:24
SPEAKER_03: So I think it's a sleigh.
13:25
SPEAKER_05: I think they really, really killed it.
13:27
SPEAKER_05: I um really think it's an amazing um what's with the ominous like swing set sound?
13:33
SPEAKER_03: It's the role game.
13:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh, gotcha.
13:34
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
13:35
SPEAKER_03: Oh, by the way, we're not um losing our studio.
13:37
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, we're keeping the ranch.
13:38
SPEAKER_05: We get to keep the ranch for a second, the audience doesn't know this.
13:41
SPEAKER_03: No, we talked about it.
13:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
13:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
13:43
SPEAKER_03: During the summer.
13:44
SPEAKER_03: Well, we uh we get to stay, so that's cool.
13:46
SPEAKER_03: Sorry about it.
13:47
SPEAKER_03: You're stuck with us.
13:48
SPEAKER_05: You're gonna get uh more uh clunky episodes like this.
13:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
13:53
SPEAKER_03: Just kidding.
13:53
SPEAKER_03: I think we're killing it.
13:54
SPEAKER_03: I feel like I'm my neck is being broken by this hat.
13:56
SPEAKER_03: I like crazy.
13:58
SPEAKER_03: It's time for you to do drag, just so you know.
14:01
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
14:02
SPEAKER_03: How was uh your Thanksgiving?
14:03
SPEAKER_03: It was okay.
14:04
SPEAKER_05: I usually love Thanksgiving, but um this year it was at my family's beach house because my aunt usually hosts, and her house is under construction, so it was like there, which I thought would be fun, but then it was kind of it was just cash and like really nice, but I don't know, not legendary.
14:20
SPEAKER_05: Which is making me sad.
14:22
SPEAKER_03: Wait, the other day Mike asked me if I like Point Cetas, or did I ask you?
14:26
SPEAKER_03: You asked me.
14:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you asked me, and I was like, I don't know, we didn't really have them growing up.
14:28
SPEAKER_03: What about you?
14:29
SPEAKER_03: And you were like in abundance.
14:31
SPEAKER_03: You're like, I like them as long as there's 300 of them.
14:33
SPEAKER_03: That was like your that was your answer.
14:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, literally, I want like a full 30-foot tree made of them, of like plants.
14:40
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous.
14:40
SPEAKER_03: So make it happen.
14:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're on it.
14:42
SPEAKER_03: Uh speaking of um the holidays and uh poinsettas and stuff like that, we were we've been shopping and like something is up this year with the Christmas goods.
14:51
SPEAKER_03: Like, yeah, there's it's there's it's scarce.
14:53
SPEAKER_03: Something is wrong.
14:54
SPEAKER_03: Can't find a case.
14:55
SPEAKER_03: Something's up with everything.
14:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
14:57
SPEAKER_03: And it's like, is it because of the Trump one?
14:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
15:00
SPEAKER_03: I think so.
15:00
SPEAKER_03: I think so.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: In a weird way.
15:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
15:02
SPEAKER_05: Because I think people are like gonna go balls to the walls.
15:06
SPEAKER_04: Uh-huh.
15:06
SPEAKER_05: Something I don't typically say.
15:08
SPEAKER_05: Uh-huh.
15:09
SPEAKER_03: To the yeah, to the window.
15:11
SPEAKER_03: Um but then we know what happened, so that sucks.
15:15
SPEAKER_03: And maybe, maybe they stopped.
15:18
SPEAKER_03: Uh oh yeah, everyone's like, nah.
15:20
SPEAKER_03: And so they have like these pumped up holiday plans that they're still going through with, but just there's a weird energy.
15:26
SPEAKER_03: Definitely weird energy.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
15:27
SPEAKER_03: And also it's it's here.
15:29
SPEAKER_03: It's like Christmas play, like I get strung up, like, oh, oh, oh, oh.
15:35
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
15:36
SPEAKER_03: Like, definitely.
15:37
SPEAKER_03: Someone should really get me off this set.
15:40
SPEAKER_03: Have I ever told you my uh the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me?
15:43
SPEAKER_03: No.
15:44
SPEAKER_03: It's I was like, it's related to flying.
15:46
SPEAKER_03: I'm sure I must have told you, but I don't think I've ever told it on the pod.
15:48
SPEAKER_03: It's it's sort of Christmas adjacent.
15:50
SPEAKER_03: I was in a youth theater production of Peter Pan, and I was John Darling, the one with the top hat.
15:55
SPEAKER_03: John Darling.
15:56
SPEAKER_03: Nightgown, top hat, and we were flying, and it was so fucking fun.
15:59
SPEAKER_03: And my middle school came to the production.
16:01
SPEAKER_03: It was like a field trip for everyone.
16:03
SPEAKER_03: I was in the show, celeb status felt incredible.
16:05
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we get to, I'm flying, big number, I'm up in the air.
16:09
SPEAKER_03: Me and Wendy, we are holding my top hat, and our little baby brother Michael is supposed to fly up into the top hat.
16:14
SPEAKER_03: And instead of flying up into the top hat, he flies up my nightgown and exposes it.
16:20
SPEAKER_03: Truly, it was heavens.
16:21
SPEAKER_03: Exposes my harness and my bike shorts and my my little middle school body to my to my entire class.
16:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
16:28
SPEAKER_03: That's insane.
16:29
SPEAKER_03: Is that where some of the trauma comes from?
16:30
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, some of it.
16:32
SPEAKER_03: There's more, but yeah, yeah.
16:33
SPEAKER_03: But isn't that that is the most embarrassing that I remember?
16:35
SPEAKER_03: Um, huge question being like, why were you flying in middle school?
16:39
SPEAKER_03: That seems like a little, that seems like college.
16:41
SPEAKER_03: Honey, we were advanced.
16:43
SPEAKER_03: College cables.
16:44
SPEAKER_03: Like, that's crazy.
16:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
16:45
SPEAKER_03: It's crazy.
16:46
SPEAKER_03: I'm almost like, are you lying?
16:47
SPEAKER_05: No compulsively because I'm like, how have I not heard about you?
16:50
SPEAKER_05: Well, cable work.
16:51
SPEAKER_03: You don't listen.
16:51
SPEAKER_05: This whole time, like you had cable experience as like John Darling, which like no one knows that his name is Darling.
16:57
SPEAKER_03: If you if you're Peter Pan.
17:00
SPEAKER_03: Anyways, you're in trouble.
17:01
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm like, I didn't know this, and this is crazy.
17:03
SPEAKER_03: This is huge.
17:04
SPEAKER_03: I screwed up.
17:05
SPEAKER_03: I would love to have cable work.
17:06
SPEAKER_03: I I why do you think I have access to it?
17:09
SPEAKER_03: In middle school?
17:09
SPEAKER_03: That's insane.
17:10
SPEAKER_03: You're lucky.
17:11
SPEAKER_03: I didn't buy it.
17:12
SPEAKER_03: I I didn't I didn't he's lucky.
17:15
SPEAKER_03: A lot of time theater kids never get to that point.
17:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but why do you think I always say we deserve wire work?
17:20
SPEAKER_03: We do deserve wirework.
17:21
SPEAKER_03: Because I have wire work experience.
17:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:23
SPEAKER_04: And that's what was that.
17:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:25
SPEAKER_03: So and that was you years ago.
17:27
SPEAKER_03: Exactly.
17:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
17:28
SPEAKER_03: Well, it's a shame that uh your costume didn't rip off and you were you you flashed the audience because that could have been cool for your trauma too.
17:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
17:35
SPEAKER_03: Wouldn't have been.
17:36
SPEAKER_03: Uh-huh.
17:36
SPEAKER_03: Well, well, should we uh take a little breaky and then come back for the reason of the season?
17:42
SPEAKER_03: Yes! Uh let's do it.
17:43
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
17:44
SPEAKER_03: Bye, B GRB.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: And we're back.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: Hello.
17:53
SPEAKER_02: And we're back, and we're back with the one.
17:55
SPEAKER_04: Friend, family, lover of the pod.
17:57
SPEAKER_04: Mother of the pod.
17:58
SPEAKER_04: Mother of the pod for sure.
17:59
SPEAKER_04: Greg Kozatec.
18:00
SPEAKER_05: Greg Kozatec.
18:02
SPEAKER_04: Welcome back.
18:03
SPEAKER_03: Greg, you are the first repeat guest.
18:05
SPEAKER_06: Oh my god!
18:07
SPEAKER_03: Again, that's my confetti canon sound.
18:12
SPEAKER_03: If we could.
18:13
SPEAKER_03: Get him back.
18:14
SPEAKER_03: Get him on.
18:14
SPEAKER_05: And it would be low.
18:15
SPEAKER_03: Please.
18:16
SPEAKER_03: In your season two.
18:17
SPEAKER_03: I'm just now clocking the little subtle.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
18:20
SPEAKER_03: I actually wiped a lot off because I got right in the dark.
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: I saw myself in a few minutes.
18:26
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to keep near it.
18:27
SPEAKER_02: Oh, and it was talk about being ice, ice-faced.
18:31
SPEAKER_02: It was yeah.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: So I just think.
18:33
SPEAKER_02: But this is amazing.
18:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Greg, who are you wearing and what is your problem?
18:36
SPEAKER_03: Okay, literally.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: This is a brand called Born Famous.
18:40
SPEAKER_02: The pants?
18:41
SPEAKER_02: The pant thing.
18:42
SPEAKER_02: Oh my gosh.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: Um, and this was supposed to light up, but I can't find the battery pack.
18:46
SPEAKER_02: We've searched every inch and it's nowhere to be found.
18:49
SPEAKER_05: There's something really powerful about overriding like power.
18:52
SPEAKER_03: It just sort of powerful about overriding power.
18:56
SPEAKER_03: Quote me.
18:57
SPEAKER_03: Put that on my grave.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: Write that down.
18:59
SPEAKER_03: It's really important.
19:00
SPEAKER_05: There is.
19:01
SPEAKER_05: Sometimes if you're just like, you know what?
19:03
SPEAKER_05: I can't deal with the electricity.
19:04
unknown: Cut it.
19:05
SPEAKER_05: Override it.
19:06
SPEAKER_05: I actually cut.
19:07
SPEAKER_05: I was hanging Garland during the break.
19:09
SPEAKER_05: I was, you know, I'm on a million jobs, including um decorating a restaurant.
19:12
SPEAKER_05: Uh, there was fairy lights in Garland, and then I was like, no one's looking.
19:16
SPEAKER_05: Like, I just cut it.
19:17
SPEAKER_05: Cut the cord.
19:17
SPEAKER_02: Snip.
19:18
SPEAKER_05: Grays anatomy style.
19:20
SPEAKER_05: What is that?
19:20
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
19:21
SPEAKER_05: Override it.
19:22
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
19:23
SPEAKER_05: You ride the power.
19:24
SPEAKER_05: It's the power.
19:25
SPEAKER_03: It's overridden.
19:26
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, next year is about overriding.
19:29
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
19:29
SPEAKER_05: Less lights.
19:30
SPEAKER_03: Less lights.
19:31
SPEAKER_03: Less back to candles.
19:33
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, I love that.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
19:34
SPEAKER_03: Romance.
19:35
SPEAKER_03: No, I love this.
19:35
SPEAKER_02: Is this vintage?
19:37
SPEAKER_02: So this is from eBay.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: This was fished out of bag in Williamsburg.
19:40
SPEAKER_02: Love.
19:41
SPEAKER_02: Insane.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: First store I went into, there was a plastic bag, and I said, I want what's in there.
19:46
SPEAKER_02: And then, of course, they fished the battery pack out.
19:49
SPEAKER_02: You make such a great elf.
19:50
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
19:51
SPEAKER_03: I owe to you.
19:51
SPEAKER_03: It's like the two you are reading for the same thing.
19:53
SPEAKER_03: But also Mrs.
19:54
SPEAKER_03: Claus.
19:55
SPEAKER_03: You could you could really pull it.
19:56
SPEAKER_03: You could slay out Mrs.
19:57
SPEAKER_03: Claus.
19:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
19:58
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
19:58
SPEAKER_03: Very young Mrs.
19:59
SPEAKER_03: Claus.
20:00
SPEAKER_03: Yes, yes.
20:00
SPEAKER_03: Mrs.
20:00
SPEAKER_03: Cla Mrs.
20:01
SPEAKER_03: Claus coming into herself.
20:03
SPEAKER_03: This is my Mrs.
20:03
SPEAKER_03: Claus impression.
20:05
SPEAKER_05: There we go.
20:07
SPEAKER_03: Every year I try to tell Mike to go as Mother Goose for Halloween and he doesn't.
20:10
SPEAKER_03: And then again, this is this is half the costume.
20:12
SPEAKER_03: It's just putting it in the case.
20:14
SPEAKER_02: You don't do mother goose next to you.
20:15
SPEAKER_03: With like a big, big old bustle.
20:17
SPEAKER_03: Duct to it.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
20:18
SPEAKER_03: One in the back.
20:19
SPEAKER_03: Like the big, the kind that goes that back.
20:21
SPEAKER_03: Bustle, yeah, the bustles are in the front.
20:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:23
SPEAKER_03: Gina.
20:24
unknown: Oh, yeah.
20:25
SPEAKER_03: Did I introduce myself?
20:26
SPEAKER_05: No.
20:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, neither of us did.
20:27
SPEAKER_03: Whatever.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: On file.
20:28
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, Greg, uh, why the hell are you here?
20:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm here.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: Well, it feels good to be back on the couch.
20:33
SPEAKER_02: Um, but I'm here uh to kick off uh a little charity raffle that my queer satire magazine, The Inquiry, is doing, and you guys are so generous to be part of and pull the raffle tickets tonight here on the couch for Dallas Forney Center.
20:50
SPEAKER_02: Woo! Which is incredible.
20:53
SPEAKER_02: No, thank you, guys.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
20:54
SPEAKER_02: Spirit of the season, giving, generosity, kindness.
20:57
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for doing this.
20:59
SPEAKER_03: This is a a dream.
21:00
SPEAKER_03: I mean, if you had an asked us, there would be no holiday episode.
21:03
SPEAKER_03: Literally, great.
21:04
SPEAKER_05: Mike and I have been dying to get back to it, but we've been busy, like we've been saying.
21:07
SPEAKER_05: And so this is scratching an itch.
21:09
SPEAKER_05: Like this little one-off is really important.
21:11
SPEAKER_05: And it's for charity, so it's like a double win.
21:13
SPEAKER_05: Love it.
21:14
SPEAKER_05: So uh, do you want to explain a little bit about the Alifany Center?
21:17
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah.
21:18
SPEAKER_03: The Alif Center who are behind on shootings.
21:20
SPEAKER_03: On centers, yeah.
21:22
SPEAKER_02: The Aliforney Center is here in the city.
21:25
SPEAKER_02: Um, they're an organization that supports um all types of programming.
21:30
SPEAKER_02: They're a drop-in center for um LGBTQ homeless youth.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: Um, so they have all kinds of programs, um, like job training, they have hot meals, um, 24 hour services that help uh youth fight the harms of homelessness.
21:47
SPEAKER_02: Um, they're incredible.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: Um I've been following their work for a couple years, and they're just an organization that's really important to me.
21:53
SPEAKER_02: So thank you guys for helping out, and thank you to everyone who contributed to the raffle.
21:58
SPEAKER_02: We have forty one artists who made Ornant uh handmade ornaments that are across the spectrum of uh queer culture.
22:07
SPEAKER_03: They're so good.
22:08
SPEAKER_03: They're incredible.
22:08
SPEAKER_03: Y'all are not ready for what is coming.
22:10
SPEAKER_03: You're gonna see them here on the campaign.
22:12
SPEAKER_03: Now Greg is a camp queen.
22:13
SPEAKER_03: Like you do you did you do the prompts again this year?
22:15
SPEAKER_03: So this is the second time you're doing it.
22:17
SPEAKER_03: Yes, this is the second time.
22:18
SPEAKER_04: So we up the ante.
22:19
SPEAKER_04: We're on every year.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: That's right.
22:21
SPEAKER_03: I said this year we have to go big.
22:23
SPEAKER_03: We gotta go big.
22:24
SPEAKER_03: And you can't get any bigger than the big gun to couch.
22:26
SPEAKER_03: Or the hat.
22:28
SPEAKER_03: Or do you know stomach?
22:30
SPEAKER_03: Or the fupa.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: The foopa?
22:31
SPEAKER_02: The fupa?
22:32
SPEAKER_02: I was I'm I was zeroing in on the Fupa.
22:34
SPEAKER_02: Oh god.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, no, it's it's a gravitational pull.
22:38
SPEAKER_02: It's beautiful.
22:38
SPEAKER_03: I don't know what geometric.
22:41
SPEAKER_03: I've never been more snatchy, too.
22:43
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you mean underneath?
22:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
22:45
SPEAKER_03: Since like the last episode, I lost a million pounds.
22:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh, wait, we're talking about charity, and I'm like, wait, though.
22:52
SPEAKER_05: Some of us dropped a couple LBs.
22:55
SPEAKER_05: That's Gina for you.
22:57
SPEAKER_03: Gina loves charity.
22:58
SPEAKER_03: She does.
22:59
SPEAKER_03: She does.
22:59
SPEAKER_03: She really does.
23:00
SPEAKER_03: She really, really does.
23:01
SPEAKER_02: Core principle for Gina.
23:02
SPEAKER_03: Literally.
23:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
23:03
SPEAKER_03: Gina's nice.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: She's kind.
23:04
SPEAKER_03: She is.
23:05
SPEAKER_03: She runs on kindness.
23:10
SPEAKER_03: This girl runs on kindness.
23:11
SPEAKER_02: She really, really, really does.
23:13
SPEAKER_02: Continue, sorry.
23:14
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, we got 41 ornaments made by, so they're all handmade by artists.
23:20
SPEAKER_02: Um, some gay, some not, but they're all supporting a queer cause.
23:23
SPEAKER_02: We don't judge them for that.
23:24
SPEAKER_02: Um, and yeah, they're all the ornaments are based off of you know, niche, queer cultural jokes that you sort of properly.
23:32
SPEAKER_02: So we have a list at the beginning.
23:33
SPEAKER_02: We have like over a hundred uh ideas, a hundred jokes, and then people can either pick one of those or come up with their own.
23:40
SPEAKER_02: Um so yeah, you'll see there's some real niche shit I cannot wait.
23:45
SPEAKER_03: I cannot wait.
23:46
SPEAKER_03: And um And you made one last year.
23:48
SPEAKER_03: I did make one of the people that you made.
23:50
SPEAKER_03: You did.
23:50
SPEAKER_03: I did.
23:51
SPEAKER_03: I made fag caccia because again, I was really this is my busy season because I do decor in our direction and it's always a shit show.
23:58
SPEAKER_03: So I was just like, what can I pull off, you know, with the time I have?
24:01
SPEAKER_03: And I, you know, Italian.
24:03
SPEAKER_03: So I know I know Brad.
24:05
SPEAKER_03: She knows Brad.
24:05
SPEAKER_03: I I know Brad.
24:06
SPEAKER_03: Tell them what you did to the bread.
24:07
SPEAKER_03: I did.
24:08
SPEAKER_05: I just like blinged out real focaccia.
24:10
SPEAKER_05: I made like a giant round focaccia thing and then bedazzled it and how it's doing now.
24:16
SPEAKER_03: But it was like there, yeah.
24:19
SPEAKER_03: Don't worry, I shellack my bread if it it gets if it becomes decor.
24:24
SPEAKER_03: It was a thing of beauty.
24:25
SPEAKER_03: It was a thing of beauty.
24:26
SPEAKER_05: But my um roommate had only been living with me at the time for like two months when I was doing that.
24:32
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
24:32
SPEAKER_05: And I had never cooked until that moment, cooked.
24:35
SPEAKER_03: So I just bought like dough from a bakery and like jammed it into like a pan to make like a giant stone.
24:40
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you made it?
24:41
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
24:42
SPEAKER_05: Well, because I needed it to like big and round.
24:45
SPEAKER_05: I thought you I didn't phone it in that much.
24:47
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I made the photograph.
24:49
SPEAKER_04: Well, just dough.
24:49
SPEAKER_03: I just I just got pizza dough and like whatever.
24:52
SPEAKER_03: I'm looking at it completely different now.
24:54
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
24:54
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
24:54
SPEAKER_03: You're like, this is a food grade hazard, and I actually have to go back and collect it.
24:58
SPEAKER_05: Shellac bread.
24:59
SPEAKER_05: Shellac bread, and it lasts a long time.
25:01
SPEAKER_03: You uh swear by shellac.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: I do.
25:03
SPEAKER_03: More than any other artist on earth.
25:05
SPEAKER_03: Well, I'm the inventor's daughter, and by that I mean uh the contractor's daughter.
25:09
SPEAKER_03: And so I grow up, I I grew up with like drinking shellac.
25:12
SPEAKER_02: Is shellac is its own.
25:14
SPEAKER_02: It's not like a brand.
25:15
SPEAKER_02: No, no.
25:16
SPEAKER_02: Okay, okay.
25:16
SPEAKER_05: There are brands of shellac.
25:18
SPEAKER_05: Got it.
25:18
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
25:19
SPEAKER_02: That's what I'm asking.
25:20
SPEAKER_03: Keep up.
25:22
SPEAKER_03: For those of us behind on shellac.
25:24
SPEAKER_01: I'm behind behind on shellac.
25:27
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
25:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, but my roommate was like, ooh, she kind of like sauntered over and was like, what are you making?
25:33
SPEAKER_05: And then she like saw it and was like, oh, okay.
25:39
SPEAKER_05: Because she didn't know what it was for.
25:40
SPEAKER_05: So she thought, like, oh, he's finally cooking.
25:42
SPEAKER_05: It's smelling like bread.
25:43
SPEAKER_05: But then she saw it.
25:44
SPEAKER_03: It was like a hockey pock of like just squashed dope from the market.
25:50
SPEAKER_03: Now she would know.
25:50
SPEAKER_03: Now she would know that that ain't.
25:52
SPEAKER_03: She's clued up.
25:52
SPEAKER_03: Oh, she's seen she's seen some stuff.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
25:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she's seen a lot since then.
25:56
SPEAKER_03: So she would not blink an eye now.
25:58
SPEAKER_03: But then she was like, ooh, it smells so good.
26:06
SPEAKER_04: Curled lip.
26:07
SPEAKER_04: Her lip was curling because of the fag cotcha.
26:10
SPEAKER_03: Well, whatever.
26:11
SPEAKER_03: Well, Greg brought an incredible friggin' turkey.
26:14
SPEAKER_03: So yes.
26:14
SPEAKER_03: Which I want to talk to you about turkey.
26:16
SPEAKER_03: Let's talk turkey.
26:17
SPEAKER_03: Actually, because do you you like turkey at Christmas?
26:21
SPEAKER_03: I like the imagery of it.
26:23
SPEAKER_03: I like the imagery.
26:24
SPEAKER_03: Right, because on I feel like on the vintage postcards, they're always serving the turkey.
26:28
SPEAKER_02: It looks nice.
26:29
SPEAKER_03: It's definitely a thing.
26:30
SPEAKER_03: It's very American.
26:30
SPEAKER_03: But like turkeys for Thanksgiving.
26:32
SPEAKER_02: Turkey's for Thanksgiving.
26:33
SPEAKER_02: My house serves ham.
26:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
26:34
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
26:35
SPEAKER_03: Hot, hot glazed ham.
26:36
SPEAKER_03: I love a holiday ham, a butterball, not a spiral.
26:41
SPEAKER_03: A butterball ham.
26:42
SPEAKER_03: It's a brand.
26:43
SPEAKER_03: Like shellac.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: Butterball turkey.
26:46
SPEAKER_03: I didn't know butterball today.
26:47
SPEAKER_03: I actually didn't know butterball.
26:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
26:49
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
26:49
SPEAKER_03: Butterball makes ham.
26:50
SPEAKER_03: It's incredible.
26:51
SPEAKER_03: I'm demanding a butterball.
26:52
SPEAKER_03: Um my family does prime rib, but like, yeah, I can never understand, like, again, I like the imagery, but turkey isn't good enough to like repo.
26:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can't have turkey twice.
26:59
SPEAKER_03: It's so quick.
27:00
SPEAKER_03: In a month.
27:00
SPEAKER_03: But like it's like uh to eat it once a year.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: What about have you ever been or served?
27:08
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever been a Christmas goose?
27:09
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: The Christmas Carol, right?
27:11
SPEAKER_03: They start a Christmas goose.
27:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:13
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yes.
27:14
SPEAKER_02: Have you ever had a Christmas goose?
27:15
SPEAKER_03: No.
27:16
SPEAKER_03: Has anyone ever had a Christmas goose?
27:17
SPEAKER_03: Who eats goose?
27:18
SPEAKER_03: I shot a swan in the head with a handgun.
27:22
SPEAKER_03: And you made that outfit.
27:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:23
SPEAKER_03: Does that answer that?
27:24
SPEAKER_03: That's 100% organic.
27:25
SPEAKER_03: No further questions.
27:27
SPEAKER_03: Um what is a turducken, though?
27:29
SPEAKER_03: It's a it's a turkey with a uh chicken or duck and a chicken inside of it?
27:34
SPEAKER_03: Duck inside.
27:34
SPEAKER_03: Wait.
27:34
SPEAKER_03: Chicken inside of duck inside of turkey, right?
27:36
SPEAKER_03: Turducken.
27:37
SPEAKER_03: Turduck.
27:38
SPEAKER_05: And then engagement ring.
27:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
27:40
SPEAKER_03: That's what I'm gonna do.
27:41
SPEAKER_03: Inside the chicken.
27:42
SPEAKER_05: Anyways, I'll stop being a psychopath.
27:44
SPEAKER_05: And tell us about your turkey.
27:46
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so the turkey, we're gonna pull the winning raffle ticket from the cavity of the turkey.
27:51
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna reach your beautiful hand and then just say it, fist.
27:54
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna fist the fucking turkey.
27:55
SPEAKER_02: We're gonna fist the turkey.
27:56
SPEAKER_02: And uh you're gonna reveal the winner.
27:58
SPEAKER_02: Um and why did you make this turkey?
28:02
SPEAKER_03: It's so beautiful.
28:02
SPEAKER_03: It's a paper mache turkey, everyone.
28:04
SPEAKER_03: It's paper mache.
28:05
SPEAKER_03: It's glittered, it's incredible, it's gorgeous.
28:07
SPEAKER_03: It truly is beautiful.
28:08
SPEAKER_03: It's so, so good.
28:10
SPEAKER_03: Um, this is for my Martha Stewart Halloween costume.
28:12
SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
28:13
SPEAKER_03: Photo here.
28:15
SPEAKER_03: Question Did you start with a balloon?
28:17
SPEAKER_03: As many paper.
28:19
SPEAKER_02: You start two balloons and a little bit.
28:21
SPEAKER_02: Two.
28:21
SPEAKER_02: Oh my god.
28:23
SPEAKER_02: And then masking tape, and then two big ones and a long balloon.
28:29
SPEAKER_02: A long one.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
28:30
SPEAKER_02: And then they're at it.
28:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then just like layers and layers.
28:35
SPEAKER_03: Took a week.
28:36
SPEAKER_03: Gina's been dying to paper balloon for I would want to say about a decade.
28:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:42
SPEAKER_03: 2025.
28:43
SPEAKER_03: That was my middle school.
28:44
SPEAKER_03: You were cables, but we did have balloons and Naj Paj.
28:47
SPEAKER_05: Well, when people like try to like get at me with technology and shit, I'm like, I majored in uh paper macheting a balloon.
28:52
SPEAKER_05: Like that's how analog I am.
28:54
SPEAKER_03: It's time to go back to your roots.
28:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
28:57
SPEAKER_03: Anyways, fisting the turkey.
28:58
SPEAKER_03: Um, we're gonna be pulling the names of the raffle winners right here, live, live from the turkey's ass.
29:05
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
29:05
SPEAKER_02: That's a balloon.
29:06
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, get ready.
29:07
SPEAKER_02: Thank you both so much for doing this.
29:09
SPEAKER_02: Thank you for coming.
29:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, dressing the par for being fabulous, for game, for coming back after we abused you the first time.
29:16
SPEAKER_02: No, listen, I will, I'm I'm going into the new year like this.
29:19
SPEAKER_02: And you're buff.
29:19
SPEAKER_02: Yes.
29:20
SPEAKER_02: You look guns out.
29:22
SPEAKER_05: Guns out, guns out.
29:23
SPEAKER_03: Um, yeah, winter.
29:25
SPEAKER_03: Winner winter, winter, winter chicken dinner.
29:27
SPEAKER_03: Winter, winter dinner.
29:29
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
29:29
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
29:30
SPEAKER_03: Let's do it.
29:30
SPEAKER_03: Let's get to it.
29:31
SPEAKER_03: All right, we'll we'll be right back with the raffle.
29:33
SPEAKER_05: And prizes.
29:35
SPEAKER_05: Like that's the raffle.
29:43
SPEAKER_03: And we're back, and it's time for the raffle.
29:46
SPEAKER_03: We have the first ornament.
29:49
SPEAKER_03: The first ornament, the first item for the raffle.
29:51
SPEAKER_03: We have Romeo and Michelle's High School Reunion Dresses by Haley Desjardin.
29:56
SPEAKER_03: This is amazing.
29:57
SPEAKER_03: Amazing.
29:57
SPEAKER_03: By what's the artist's name?
29:58
SPEAKER_03: Haley Desjardin.
29:59
SPEAKER_03: Rizdi alum.
30:00
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
30:01
SPEAKER_03: Um, Haley, you slayed these.
30:04
SPEAKER_03: This is incredible.
30:05
SPEAKER_03: I'm so sorry I don't have a QVC nail to properly display these.
30:10
SPEAKER_03: I love them because they are like dimensional.
30:12
SPEAKER_03: Like they have so beautiful.
30:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:14
SPEAKER_03: I love them.
30:15
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, my favorite part is almost the hangers.
30:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh my God, yeah.
30:18
SPEAKER_03: That's so fun.
30:19
SPEAKER_03: That hanger is beautiful because like that's what you would hang on.
30:22
SPEAKER_03: Like you'd use that to hang it on the tree.
30:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:24
SPEAKER_03: That is that's Haley, that's cunt.
30:26
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
30:26
SPEAKER_03: I can say gorge.
30:27
SPEAKER_03: Well, what is it what does it make you think and feel?
30:29
SPEAKER_03: Um, it makes me think I really need to watch the movie because it's one of my favorites.
30:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
30:32
SPEAKER_03: And uh it makes me want a Lady Fair cigarette because um I'm always late and holding people up, and I would love to just uh smoke on some nicotine.
30:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, quick.
30:42
SPEAKER_03: Um, shall we reach into the the asshole?
30:46
SPEAKER_03: The asshole and pull out the winner?
30:47
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
30:47
SPEAKER_03: Okay, here we go.
30:48
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna try and do it without hitting my head on the chandelier.
30:52
SPEAKER_03: I'm pulling.
30:54
SPEAKER_03: Okay, we have a ticket, we have a name, and the winner is DePauy G.
30:59
SPEAKER_03: You have won Romy Michelle's high school reunion dresses ornaments.
31:03
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
31:03
SPEAKER_03: This is uh That is amazing because like who wouldn't want these?
31:06
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have The Queering by Brian Brittagan.
31:09
SPEAKER_03: And we love a queering.
31:10
SPEAKER_03: I'm gonna do some hand modeling for it right now.
31:14
SPEAKER_03: Stunning.
31:14
SPEAKER_03: It's like, are you even queer if you don't go through a dangly earring phase?
31:19
SPEAKER_03: No.
31:20
SPEAKER_03: Which I've like never really done.
31:21
SPEAKER_03: And neither have I.
31:22
SPEAKER_03: Well, you kind of put like an earring in an earring.
31:24
SPEAKER_03: Oh, yeah, I have.
31:25
SPEAKER_03: I feel I've had queer you're not.
31:26
SPEAKER_03: I've had like a little um like a bigger hoop with a ball on it for the pod once in a while.
31:31
SPEAKER_03: But this is gorgeous.
31:32
SPEAKER_03: This is a that's amazing.
31:33
SPEAKER_03: I would describe this as Is that felt?
31:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's a felted, uh, I'm gonna say hand-stitched uh earring.
31:40
SPEAKER_03: It's got multiple tones, multiple piercings.
31:42
SPEAKER_03: I'm blown away with the level of detail in the air itself.
31:45
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
31:46
SPEAKER_03: It is beautiful for felt.
31:48
SPEAKER_03: Hello, gorgeous.
31:49
SPEAKER_03: Loves it.
31:50
SPEAKER_03: And the little uh rainbow.
31:53
SPEAKER_03: Rainbow inside of the uh full um gender spectrum symbol.
31:58
SPEAKER_03: Um does that have a name?
31:59
SPEAKER_03: We know, we know.
32:01
SPEAKER_03: Who knows?
32:02
SPEAKER_03: Uh loves it.
32:03
SPEAKER_03: All right, shall we pull?
32:04
SPEAKER_03: Yes, I am dying to get my hand in this thing.
32:06
SPEAKER_03: Get your hand in that turkey and we will reveal who the winner of the queering.
32:10
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
32:11
SPEAKER_03: The queering is.
32:12
SPEAKER_03: It's moist.
32:13
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
32:14
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations, Sarah P.
32:16
SPEAKER_05: Sarah P.
32:17
SPEAKER_05: You are the new owner of the queering.
32:19
SPEAKER_05: The queering.
32:20
SPEAKER_03: And we hope you have your own queering, but if you don't, anything can be a queering, including an ornament.
32:26
SPEAKER_03: So just shove that in your ear.
32:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't know if these are like medical grade, but these look like real piercings.
32:30
SPEAKER_03: So if you need some new uh hardware, uh, take this down and pop it in one of your holes.
32:38
SPEAKER_03: Thanks, Sara P.
32:39
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Sarah.
32:40
SPEAKER_03: You really deserve it.
32:42
SPEAKER_03: Okay, next ornament.
32:44
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty for our next ornament, we have Saint Jennifer Coolidge by Jose Rojas.
32:50
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
32:51
SPEAKER_03: Now I'm gonna put the mic down and expose my bare nails.
32:55
SPEAKER_03: Christmas tragedy to show this off.
32:57
SPEAKER_03: Hey, maybe Santa will bring you um some full acrylics for the holiday.
33:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that is it.
33:02
SPEAKER_03: It appears to be a hand-sculpted, painted and glazed fired ceramic uh or clay ornament uh of the one and only Jennifer Coolidge.
33:13
SPEAKER_03: Uh, resplendent tall hair, resplendent large boobs, and her signature pout.
33:19
SPEAKER_03: Um, it is incredible.
33:20
SPEAKER_03: Sleigh mama.
33:21
SPEAKER_03: Who doesn't want Jennifer Coolidge on their tree?
33:23
SPEAKER_03: Uh, whoever is about to have it on their tree will be very lucky.
33:26
SPEAKER_03: And that person is Drum leg roll Rhett M.
33:31
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations, Rhett M.
33:34
SPEAKER_03: Rhett M.
33:35
SPEAKER_03: You're the proud owner of St.
33:36
SPEAKER_03: Coolidge.
33:37
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have A Queer Portal by Christian Ort.
33:40
SPEAKER_03: Uh, I don't know about you, Gina, but I've fallen into many a queer portal in my life.
33:44
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
33:45
SPEAKER_03: Um that's stunning.
33:46
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
33:47
SPEAKER_03: I it's a teeny doorway into a um rainbow vortex of um gorgeousness.
33:55
SPEAKER_03: And there's I I need to escape into that spiral hole fast.
34:00
SPEAKER_05: Incredible detail on the wooden doors, too.
34:02
SPEAKER_05: Very much.
34:03
SPEAKER_03: And is that like hand?
34:04
SPEAKER_03: It feels hand-carved.
34:06
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, like scraped.
34:07
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
34:07
SPEAKER_03: The wood grain is it's all individually added, it's stunning.
34:11
SPEAKER_03: And we all need a queer escape.
34:13
SPEAKER_03: So dive in.
34:14
SPEAKER_03: Dive in and get me out of here.
34:16
SPEAKER_03: Get me through that little doorway.
34:18
SPEAKER_03: There's another doorway you're gonna have to go into.
34:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and I can't wait.
34:21
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
34:22
SPEAKER_03: Trama.
34:24
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, dig around in there.
34:25
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, oh my god.
34:27
SPEAKER_05: Jesus Christ.
34:27
SPEAKER_03: Gina! This is my Alice in Wonderland moment.
34:30
SPEAKER_03: Like I fall down the turkey.
34:32
SPEAKER_03: I wish.
34:33
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
34:35
SPEAKER_05: And the winner is Emily C.
34:40
SPEAKER_03: Emily C, you're the proud owner of a queer portal.
34:42
SPEAKER_03: Lucky for you.
34:43
SPEAKER_03: We know you love escapism and queerness.
34:45
SPEAKER_03: So go off with this ornament.
34:47
SPEAKER_03: These doors will never close.
34:48
SPEAKER_03: They won't.
34:49
SPEAKER_03: And neither will your join.
34:51
SPEAKER_05: I'm just kidding.
34:52
SPEAKER_03: We will cut that.
34:56
SPEAKER_03: Well, congrats, Emily.
34:57
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
34:58
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
34:58
SPEAKER_03: Next ornament.
34:59
SPEAKER_03: Ah, my year.
35:00
SPEAKER_03: I'm excited.
35:02
SPEAKER_03: It's so good that he's falling apart, not me for once.
35:05
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
35:06
SPEAKER_03: Uh, next up we have Beyonce's Renaissance Horse by Todd Oldham.
35:09
SPEAKER_03: Hello.
35:10
SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
35:11
SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
35:12
SPEAKER_05: Celebrity artist and maker.
35:13
SPEAKER_05: And appears designer.
35:15
SPEAKER_05: A legend.
35:16
SPEAKER_03: A fully rhinestoned uh with an A B shift crystal horse.
35:21
SPEAKER_03: We love an A B shift.
35:22
SPEAKER_03: Spring.
35:22
SPEAKER_03: I believe this is intended to be a topper.
35:24
SPEAKER_03: I love that, Todd.
35:26
SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
35:27
SPEAKER_03: Because that will go right on a branch.
35:28
SPEAKER_05: A lot of times the toppers, you know, you don't you get nervous because it's like, how am I going to rig this?
35:33
SPEAKER_05: But that is really well thought out and stunning.
35:37
SPEAKER_05: It's so beautiful.
35:38
SPEAKER_05: It's disco vibes.
35:39
SPEAKER_05: It makes me want cocaine.
35:40
SPEAKER_05: It makes me want to listen to Renaissance.
35:43
SPEAKER_05: Renaissance got me through my breakup.
35:45
SPEAKER_05: That's amazing.
35:45
SPEAKER_05: It really, really did.
35:46
SPEAKER_03: It's an incredible album.
35:47
SPEAKER_03: It's great.
35:48
SPEAKER_03: I miss it.
35:48
SPEAKER_05: So shall we see who is the lucky recipient?
35:51
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
35:51
SPEAKER_03: Dive in again.
35:52
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
35:53
SPEAKER_03: Who we got?
35:54
SPEAKER_03: Congrat Greg.
35:57
SPEAKER_03: Greg.
35:58
SPEAKER_03: We need a translation.
35:59
SPEAKER_03: Is it Rhett M?
36:00
SPEAKER_03: Rhett M?
36:01
SPEAKER_03: Rhett?
36:01
SPEAKER_03: It's Rh.
36:02
SPEAKER_03: Okay, Rhett! Rhett M again?
36:03
SPEAKER_03: No.
36:04
SPEAKER_03: Rhett.
36:04
SPEAKER_03: Rhett bid twice and he won twice.
36:06
SPEAKER_03: Rhett, you amazing.
36:07
SPEAKER_03: Rhett, you're looking to capitalism.
36:09
SPEAKER_03: Thank you for supporting the Ali Forney Center.
36:12
SPEAKER_03: And go off with this amazing feet topper by the one and only top.
36:16
SPEAKER_03: Jealous.
36:16
SPEAKER_03: All right.
36:17
SPEAKER_03: Next one.
36:17
SPEAKER_03: We'll see if Rhett wins again.
36:19
SPEAKER_03: Okay, next up, we have a T-Mobile Juicy Couture Sidekick 2 by the artist Aaron Fernandez.
36:25
SPEAKER_03: Now that, Mama.
36:27
SPEAKER_03: Is everything.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: Is everything.
36:28
SPEAKER_03: We have a beautiful, is it what materials are we dealing with?
36:31
SPEAKER_03: I want to say it's clay that's been carved out.
36:35
SPEAKER_03: Carved out?
36:36
SPEAKER_03: Like it's wood.
36:37
SPEAKER_03: Wood?
36:38
SPEAKER_03: Oh wow.
36:39
SPEAKER_03: Ladies and gentlemen and everyone else.
36:42
SPEAKER_03: We have just received word that the ornament is wood.
36:45
SPEAKER_03: Because I'm seeing all the carvings, and that's so great.
36:47
SPEAKER_03: But the only thing that threw me off was like whatever they coated this with has like a I don't know, a softness to it.
36:53
SPEAKER_03: So it's not giving wood, it's giving clay almost, but it's just it's everything.
36:58
SPEAKER_03: It's giving everything.
36:59
SPEAKER_03: And you all know Gina runs on Juicy Couture.
37:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:03
SPEAKER_03: So I'm gagging.
37:05
SPEAKER_03: And gorgeous.
37:06
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, there's a little friendship bracelet.
37:08
SPEAKER_03: T T Y L T Y L.
37:10
SPEAKER_03: It looks like we have hand painted uh applicates to the effect of stickers.
37:14
SPEAKER_03: Um I've seen stars, I'm seeing planets.
37:16
SPEAKER_05: I'm seeing Yeah, this is like the generation of like bedazzling all your electronics.
37:22
SPEAKER_03: Like smack that bumper sticker on your laptop, on your phone.
37:26
SPEAKER_03: On your ass.
37:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
37:27
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
37:28
SPEAKER_03: And should we find out who is soon to be the owner of this uh gorgeous piece?
37:32
SPEAKER_03: Well, first, let me call the CIA.
37:36
SPEAKER_03: Hello?
37:38
SPEAKER_03: Okay, you want me to pull the raffle?
37:40
SPEAKER_03: Okay, hold on.
37:41
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'm in there.
37:43
SPEAKER_03: Isn't it so fun to be on speaker?
37:45
SPEAKER_03: Something get permanently sucked into a turkey.
37:49
SPEAKER_03: And then I'll make a lifetime movie about it.
37:51
SPEAKER_03: My friend in the turkey.
37:52
SPEAKER_03: Okay, here we go.
37:53
SPEAKER_03: The CIA is on hold.
37:54
SPEAKER_03: Okay, and uh the winner is Mary M.
37:59
SPEAKER_03: Woo! Mary, I'm calling her.
38:03
SPEAKER_03: Mayor.
38:05
SPEAKER_03: We got it.
38:09
SPEAKER_02: We did it, Mayor.
38:11
SPEAKER_02: We did it, Mayor Mayor.
38:12
SPEAKER_03: I've always said there's something very sexual about the way she delivers that line, Kamala.
38:17
SPEAKER_03: She's like, mmm, Joe.
38:20
SPEAKER_03: What are you doing in the woods?
38:21
SPEAKER_03: She was getting railed all night.
38:22
SPEAKER_03: That's like the that's the only conclusion I can come to.
38:27
SPEAKER_03: She was tapping trees.
38:29
SPEAKER_03: Okay, everyone.
38:30
SPEAKER_03: Our next ornament is the empty gay by Lucas Oakley.
38:35
SPEAKER_03: Now this is so beautiful.
38:37
SPEAKER_03: It says fag.
38:38
SPEAKER_03: Uh referencing the F, the A, and the G uh New York subway lines.
38:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, this is which are the gayest lines.
38:46
SPEAKER_03: One could say.
38:47
SPEAKER_03: Um this is gorgeous.
38:49
SPEAKER_03: It really is.
38:50
SPEAKER_03: Truly, the uh the craftsmanship on this is like that is that is fucking I've been glittering shit for days in it.
38:56
SPEAKER_03: Laser cut.
38:57
SPEAKER_05: This is amazing.
38:58
SPEAKER_03: Call me on that fake wooden phone we just sold because You're hired.
39:02
SPEAKER_03: Wow, I need to know your technique.
39:04
SPEAKER_03: Dear God, this is beautiful.
39:05
SPEAKER_03: When's the first time you were called a fag?
39:07
SPEAKER_03: A fag?
39:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, maybe never.
39:09
SPEAKER_03: You kind of like get like passing privilege?
39:11
SPEAKER_03: You're passing.
39:11
SPEAKER_03: No, I remember I was at a swim meet one time and somebody asked me point blank, a kid from another school was like, Are you gay?
39:17
SPEAKER_03: And my answer was, no, I'm not even 10.
39:18
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, what could that mean?
39:20
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
39:21
SPEAKER_03: And he bought it.
39:22
SPEAKER_03: He was like, okay.
39:23
SPEAKER_03: He was like, Yeah, you know what?
39:24
SPEAKER_03: He's like T.
39:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
39:26
SPEAKER_05: Um, for me, it was the second I stepped full into middle school, public middle school.
39:30
SPEAKER_03: Didn't even know the word, but I was barely in the door and I was called a fag.
39:34
SPEAKER_03: And now I uh wear it with pride.
39:35
SPEAKER_03: And you wear this ornament with pride on your own tree.
39:38
SPEAKER_03: If you win the round.
39:40
SPEAKER_03: Shall we pull?
39:41
SPEAKER_03: We will pull.
39:41
SPEAKER_03: I think you pull.
39:42
SPEAKER_03: I was holding it.
39:42
SPEAKER_03: You just got disturbed.
39:44
SPEAKER_03: I saw glitter and I pulled for it.
39:46
SPEAKER_03: It's amazing.
39:47
SPEAKER_03: And um, I love anything that's faggy.
39:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're reclaiming it.
39:50
SPEAKER_03: And the person claiming this ornament is uh Jean P.
39:55
SPEAKER_03: Jean P G?
39:57
SPEAKER_03: Wait, hold on.
39:59
SPEAKER_03: Jean G?
39:59
SPEAKER_03: Jean G, you've won.
40:01
SPEAKER_03: Hey, if you're French, you've won twice.
40:03
SPEAKER_03: I used to live near the F and the G and and the A, so uh you now know that.
40:10
SPEAKER_03: And uh Gina is being doxxed in three, two, and one.
40:14
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
40:15
SPEAKER_03: We uh this is we're we are blown away by the crispness.
40:18
SPEAKER_03: Love it.
40:19
SPEAKER_03: Next! Congrats, Jean P.
40:20
SPEAKER_03: Next up we have The Mothman of Cryptid Fame by Devin Forst.
40:26
SPEAKER_03: Now, this is a blind spot for Gina, so I'm gonna rely on you to sort of fill me in.
40:31
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the Mothman.
40:32
SPEAKER_03: I like what I see, but I don't know it.
40:34
SPEAKER_03: He's uh he's a um like a urban legend of a monster in the woods.
40:40
SPEAKER_03: There was a movie about him.
40:41
SPEAKER_03: I thought Mia Jovovich was in it.
40:43
SPEAKER_03: Greg is saying Greg is saying Deborah Messinger.
40:45
SPEAKER_03: Deborah Messinger Richard Gere.
40:47
SPEAKER_03: We're gonna have to um IMDB this, but this does he have a uh huge shelf ass like in the movie?
40:52
SPEAKER_03: No, but this uh this Mothman is fucking uh caked up.
40:55
SPEAKER_03: It's giving every day as leg day.
40:57
SPEAKER_03: It's so, so good.
40:58
SPEAKER_03: And we love a buff Mothman.
41:00
SPEAKER_03: Let's not forget about that eight-pack mama.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: Wowie.
41:02
SPEAKER_03: And it and it goes right down into a very tasteful large bush.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Bush.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Which we all we're pro-bush here.
41:08
SPEAKER_03: It's bush era uh at all times.
41:10
SPEAKER_03: I will say it's got some heft, so hopefully your tree is strong.
41:14
SPEAKER_03: A blue spruce.
41:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
41:17
SPEAKER_03: Keeps it up.
41:17
SPEAKER_03: All right, shall we pull?
41:18
SPEAKER_03: Come gutters and all.
41:19
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
41:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:20
SPEAKER_03: Stunning job.
41:21
SPEAKER_03: Gina needs a moment.
41:22
SPEAKER_03: I know.
41:22
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, can I have a little alone time with that tiny figure?
41:26
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
41:27
SPEAKER_03: Tons of giblets, I will say.
41:29
SPEAKER_03: We added more.
41:30
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
41:30
SPEAKER_05: Uh alrighty.
41:31
SPEAKER_05: Congratulations, Lauren H.
41:33
SPEAKER_03: You can go off with this tiny man.
41:37
SPEAKER_03: Um, do what you want with your body and his body.
41:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
41:40
SPEAKER_03: Hopefully, you're um, this is the body type you're into because this is you can have hours and hours of fun with this guy.
41:45
SPEAKER_03: Well, she's clearly into it.
41:47
SPEAKER_03: She spent all her money on to try to get this, and and and it happened.
41:51
SPEAKER_03: She that's called manifestation.
41:52
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
41:53
SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Lauren.
41:54
SPEAKER_03: Next! Alrighty.
41:56
SPEAKER_03: Up next, we have hot gay coffee.
42:00
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's spinning on its own.
42:01
SPEAKER_03: By Carlos Miranda.
42:02
SPEAKER_05: Carlos Miranda.
42:03
SPEAKER_05: This is incredible.
42:04
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, and Greg was just sort of saying, like, iced coffee is gay, gay, gay, but also so is hot coffee, which I'm offended by.
42:11
SPEAKER_05: I guess I'm the biggest flamer on earth because I drink hot coffee all the time.
42:15
SPEAKER_05: I'm the guy with uh hot coffee at the gym.
42:18
SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm the girl with uh hot coffee in August.
42:21
SPEAKER_03: I'm so I'm gay.
42:22
SPEAKER_03: And I'm the girl with the ice cream with the iced coffee in February.
42:26
SPEAKER_03: That's that's my uh frigid gender journey.
42:29
SPEAKER_03: Carlos, this is so beautiful.
42:30
SPEAKER_03: I love the little rainbow surprise in the back.
42:32
SPEAKER_03: Now, what materials are we working with here?
42:34
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
42:35
SPEAKER_03: I'm getting like air clay glazed, maybe?
42:38
SPEAKER_03: Air clay?
42:39
SPEAKER_03: Like a magic magic magic.
42:42
SPEAKER_03: Do you know what this is made of?
42:43
SPEAKER_03: Paper mache.
42:44
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you just you would know, mama.
42:47
SPEAKER_03: No, not when Carlos does it.
42:49
SPEAKER_03: He his technique is uncockable.
42:52
SPEAKER_03: This is amazing.
42:52
SPEAKER_03: I had no clue what this is made of.
42:54
SPEAKER_03: It has like an enamel finish.
42:55
SPEAKER_03: It's stunning.
42:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's high gloss.
42:57
SPEAKER_03: Beautiful.
42:58
SPEAKER_03: Um Do you ever drink hot coffee?
43:00
SPEAKER_03: Uh if if I'm forced to, like literally, like a on like you know, crafty onset kind of vibes.
43:05
SPEAKER_03: Like I'll take a hot.
43:06
SPEAKER_03: Do you want to know my current order?
43:07
SPEAKER_03: No.
43:08
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
43:09
SPEAKER_03: Well.
43:10
SPEAKER_03: No, please.
43:11
SPEAKER_03: Tell the listeners at home.
43:12
SPEAKER_05: No, I think maybe I've said it before.
43:14
SPEAKER_05: It's medium hot, two creams, two French vanilla swirl.
43:18
SPEAKER_05: You gotta say swirl, because if you don't, they give you the little cow one, and some of us want the cows there, and a shot of espresso, just to like make it adult.
43:25
SPEAKER_03: And how did that change from what it was before?
43:27
SPEAKER_03: It didn't.
43:28
SPEAKER_03: I just needed to remind uh the audience in case they want to send me something, because although this is about charity, we do accept presents at all times.
43:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, so at all times.
43:39
SPEAKER_03: Um Carlos, this is beautiful.
43:41
SPEAKER_03: Shall we dive into the turkey hole?
43:43
SPEAKER_03: Diving in, hole open.
43:44
SPEAKER_03: The precision on the rainbow.
43:46
SPEAKER_03: I know it's really very well painted.
43:48
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I've got one.
43:50
SPEAKER_03: And the winner is Ross B.
43:53
SPEAKER_03: You've won.
43:54
SPEAKER_03: Ross, you're gonna be hanging that on your tree.
43:57
SPEAKER_03: Yes, Ross, and you also have a huge coffee problem based on.
44:00
SPEAKER_03: How many tickets you put in there for this?
44:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's over for that.
44:02
SPEAKER_03: That's another day.
44:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
44:03
SPEAKER_03: But uh go off, have fun, and have coffee and be gay.
44:07
SPEAKER_03: Ross?
44:11
SPEAKER_03: We both just gasped.
44:13
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
44:14
SPEAKER_03: Uh listeners, viewers, this is this is a special one.
44:19
SPEAKER_03: So this is a shooting star to wish upon by the artist Connor Klein.
44:24
SPEAKER_03: It is crafted from earrings found on the street of New York.
44:28
SPEAKER_03: Now So cool.
44:30
SPEAKER_03: If you're not watching, pause the the feed and switch to a visual version of this because this Go buy a laptop and get on YouTube.
44:40
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous.
44:40
SPEAKER_03: Because this needs to be seen, not heard.
44:42
SPEAKER_03: It's it is stunning.
44:44
SPEAKER_03: It's dimensional, uh delicate.
44:47
SPEAKER_03: It's per it's playing with perspective.
44:49
SPEAKER_03: It's uh brass and gold and and it looks like it really is capturing the energy of a shooting star.
44:56
SPEAKER_03: You really, really nailed that because it just is like in motion.
45:00
SPEAKER_03: It's getting like N64 in a way that I can't really explain.
45:02
SPEAKER_03: Maybe because it's like the the per like the perspective is like have you ever wished upon a star?
45:07
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
45:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
45:09
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah.
45:09
SPEAKER_05: I haven't seen too many, but um my first crush was Alexia Wheaton from the Disney movie Wish Upon a Star.
45:16
SPEAKER_03: Female.
45:17
SPEAKER_03: Can you believe it?
45:18
SPEAKER_03: Well, you're famously bisexual.
45:19
SPEAKER_03: I mean, we had a 50-50 chance of figuring that one out.
45:22
SPEAKER_04: This is bisexual.
45:23
SPEAKER_05: For sure.
45:25
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
45:25
SPEAKER_03: That is so beautiful.
45:27
SPEAKER_03: Truly.
45:27
SPEAKER_03: Here I put my hand into the turkey.
45:29
SPEAKER_03: Do you want to hold it for a second?
45:30
SPEAKER_03: I do.
45:31
SPEAKER_03: I want to put it, I want to wear it.
45:32
SPEAKER_03: I mean, that is gorgeous.
45:33
SPEAKER_03: That is a too late to bid.
45:35
SPEAKER_03: My God, that actually is so pretty.
45:38
SPEAKER_03: Ornate, baroki, Baroka.
45:41
SPEAKER_03: That would be like wow.
45:42
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
45:43
SPEAKER_03: Special, special, special.
45:44
SPEAKER_03: Not surprising.
45:45
SPEAKER_03: I know.
45:46
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
45:46
SPEAKER_03: Like all that crap.
45:47
SPEAKER_03: But we love found jewelry in New York.
45:49
SPEAKER_03: Because wow.
45:50
SPEAKER_03: Make something out of shit, please.
45:52
SPEAKER_03: We could stare at that for literally 17 hours.
45:54
SPEAKER_03: But we've got uh sequoro with my hair.
45:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
45:57
SPEAKER_03: All right.
45:58
SPEAKER_03: Um, I'll pull because you're holding.
45:59
SPEAKER_03: Um, did you watch Wish Upon a Star?
46:01
SPEAKER_03: Um Alexia Wheaton.
46:03
SPEAKER_03: No, because I didn't have cable growing up.
46:04
SPEAKER_03: So but that's small portions, please.
46:06
SPEAKER_03: Mm-hmm.
46:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:07
SPEAKER_03: I've learned.
46:08
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
46:09
SPEAKER_03: Uh, the winner of this gorgeous one-of-a-kind piece is Tod C.
46:13
SPEAKER_03: Totsy.
46:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Todd C.
46:15
SPEAKER_03: Tod C.
46:15
SPEAKER_03: Not Tatsy.
46:16
SPEAKER_03: I thought you were like Totsy.
46:17
SPEAKER_03: Totsy.
46:17
SPEAKER_03: I was like, Totsy, I love ya.
46:19
SPEAKER_03: Go off with your star, Tatsy.
46:21
SPEAKER_03: Two C.
46:22
SPEAKER_03: Tod C.
46:23
SPEAKER_03: Todd you won.
46:24
SPEAKER_03: Todd C.
46:24
SPEAKER_03: And this is a special one.
46:25
SPEAKER_03: Make a wish, honey, because this shooting star is yours.
46:29
SPEAKER_05: Congrats.
46:30
SPEAKER_05: Okay, everyone.
46:31
SPEAKER_05: Next up, we have Dolly Parton's 1978 Playboy Wig by Michelle Perez.
46:38
SPEAKER_03: You really kill this, Michelle.
46:39
SPEAKER_03: Now it's beautiful.
46:39
SPEAKER_03: It looks like it's made out of clay.
46:41
SPEAKER_03: It's hand painted.
46:42
SPEAKER_03: We have some felted ears and bow details.
46:45
SPEAKER_03: It is a beautiful rendition of Julian.
46:52
SPEAKER_03: You know what this is.
46:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
46:53
SPEAKER_03: Everyone knows that Playboy cover.
46:55
SPEAKER_03: Definitely.
46:56
SPEAKER_03: That's beautiful.
46:56
SPEAKER_03: I love all the little swirlies in the colour.
46:58
SPEAKER_03: The swirlies are amazing.
46:59
SPEAKER_03: The symmetry is gorgeous.
47:01
SPEAKER_03: The line work is incredible.
47:02
SPEAKER_03: And I love that it's like a peach color.
47:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
47:05
SPEAKER_03: Because that's, I mean, the I guess it was like an apricot mist.
47:08
SPEAKER_05: The wig maybe was kind of like in that zone.
47:10
SPEAKER_05: So even, yeah, the colors are working.
47:13
SPEAKER_05: It's making sense.
47:14
SPEAKER_05: What's the weight like?
47:15
SPEAKER_05: It's a million pounds.
47:16
SPEAKER_05: No, no, it's so, so light.
47:18
SPEAKER_05: And it looks, it's looking like a double stack wig.
47:20
SPEAKER_05: It's giving tonal fantasy.
47:22
SPEAKER_05: Tone on matches the pink in the hair.
47:25
SPEAKER_05: The contrast.
47:26
SPEAKER_05: It's the black.
47:27
SPEAKER_03: Now let me hold it and I'll have you pull this time.
47:29
SPEAKER_03: I'm swirling.
47:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm giving you the giblets a swirl.
47:32
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, they smell good.
47:33
SPEAKER_03: Because, like, you know, you gotta keep the that smells like Christmas.
47:37
SPEAKER_03: You gotta keep the tickets in motion.
47:39
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
47:40
SPEAKER_03: The winner is Lauren W.
47:42
SPEAKER_03: Lauren W, congrats.
47:44
SPEAKER_03: Yay! You are the proud owner of Dolly Parton's Playboy 1978 wig from our home to yours.
47:51
SPEAKER_03: Next ornament! Next up, we have a squirrel friend crocheted ornament by the artist Justin Ross.
47:57
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, Justin, that is beautiful.
47:58
SPEAKER_03: I can't believe you crocheted that by hand.
48:00
SPEAKER_05: And I love the choice of going purple with the friggintail and fur belly.
48:06
SPEAKER_03: Do they have the fur in the front?
48:07
SPEAKER_03: It don't matter because this is a few.
48:08
SPEAKER_03: Again, we're pro bush here.
48:09
SPEAKER_03: That's giving belly bush matching on everything.
48:12
SPEAKER_03: What I'm uh drawn to are these beautiful glossy black eyes.
48:16
SPEAKER_03: Um it's giving squirrel, it's giving nature, it's giving cutesy.
48:19
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, I can't say demutesy.
48:21
SPEAKER_05: We can't um leave for legal reasons.
48:22
SPEAKER_03: That trend is over.
48:23
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
48:24
SPEAKER_05: Uh so good.
48:25
SPEAKER_05: It's giving Sandy from SpongeBob.
48:27
SPEAKER_05: Oh, yeah, Sandy Cheese.
48:29
SPEAKER_03: She's getting.
48:29
SPEAKER_03: You're kind of giving SpongeBob in a weird way.
48:31
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
48:32
SPEAKER_03: You're welcome.
48:33
SPEAKER_03: Give me that.
48:33
SPEAKER_03: It looks like a handbag.
48:34
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
48:34
SPEAKER_03: This would be a great handbag after the season ends.
48:38
SPEAKER_03: Think about it.
48:39
SPEAKER_03: I want to say it's maybe the biggest ornament we've had so far.
48:41
SPEAKER_03: It's uh weighty, it's hefty, it's large.
48:43
SPEAKER_03: And it might be filled with cash.
48:46
SPEAKER_03: As many stuffed animals are.
48:48
SPEAKER_03: And we're about to find out.
48:49
SPEAKER_03: So you gotta cut them and see what's inside.
48:51
SPEAKER_03: But don't ruin this ornament.
48:52
SPEAKER_03: This is Apple Pay.
48:53
SPEAKER_03: You don't need to cut it open.
48:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, there's a QR code on the back.
48:56
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
48:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
48:57
SPEAKER_03: And I've pulled the winner friend.
48:59
SPEAKER_03: Of the squirrel friend is Melanie C.
49:02
SPEAKER_03: Mel C.
49:02
SPEAKER_03: Mel C Who knew Mel C was in the raffle.
49:05
SPEAKER_05: When the weather was darker, I could undo small.
49:09
SPEAKER_05: I turn to you.
49:10
SPEAKER_05: I turn to you, Mel C, and you're gonna turn to this squirrel tonight and say J.
49:14
SPEAKER_05: God damn! You're gonna have your first kiss tonight, Michelle.
49:17
SPEAKER_05: I just know it.
49:18
SPEAKER_05: Mel, Michelle.
49:21
SPEAKER_05: Whatever the fuck your name is.
49:22
SPEAKER_05: Congrats! You deserve this more than anyone.
49:24
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have your teenage iPod inspired by the queer practice of pirating uh music and creating playlists as a teen by the artist Jennifer Zhao.
49:35
SPEAKER_03: I love that.
49:35
SPEAKER_03: I need to get a close look.
49:36
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
49:37
SPEAKER_03: It's a little diorama.
49:38
SPEAKER_03: It is a little diorama.
49:41
SPEAKER_03: An iPod with It's hard to say that because you, you know, they've become obsolete.
49:46
SPEAKER_03: Unfortunately, for my mom.
49:47
SPEAKER_03: An interior scene of a beautiful Siamese cat on a gorgeous bed with posters of Lorde, Marina and the Diamonds.
49:58
SPEAKER_05: Oh, wow.
49:58
SPEAKER_03: Uh Phoenix and others on the wall.
50:01
SPEAKER_03: It's a little contemporary, but a little um vintage also.
50:05
SPEAKER_03: Vintage and contemporary.
50:06
SPEAKER_03: You know, this matchup.
50:07
SPEAKER_03: Some some very you know temporal based questions where it's like, are you even old enough to know what an iPad was when you were?
50:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh yeah, of course.
50:15
SPEAKER_03: A mini reggae.
50:16
SPEAKER_03: I had a I had a mini.
50:19
SPEAKER_03: No, a nano.
50:20
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, okay.
50:21
SPEAKER_03: I had a nano baby.
50:22
SPEAKER_03: That's the time I got you though.
50:23
SPEAKER_03: Um I had a nasty ass teal one.
50:26
SPEAKER_03: Now that was gay.
50:27
SPEAKER_03: No, it wasn't cool.
50:27
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
50:28
SPEAKER_03: You know when the blue is wrong?
50:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
50:30
SPEAKER_03: I thought I was being B for boy, like blue.
50:32
SPEAKER_03: No.
50:33
SPEAKER_03: Got made fun of.
50:34
SPEAKER_03: Uh added to the list.
50:35
SPEAKER_03: Um Yeah, this is gorgeous.
50:37
SPEAKER_03: It was good.
50:37
SPEAKER_03: How did you pirate your music?
50:38
SPEAKER_03: Lime wire?
50:39
SPEAKER_03: I didn't pirate music.
50:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
50:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you're bad for being good.
50:44
SPEAKER_03: Jesus Christ.
50:45
SPEAKER_03: I loved lime wire and the icon was really cool.
50:47
SPEAKER_03: Did you crash your computer with it a hundred thousand times?
50:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
50:50
SPEAKER_03: I did.
50:51
SPEAKER_03: This is so cute.
50:52
SPEAKER_03: Shall we pull a winner?
50:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, go for it.
50:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
50:54
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
50:55
SPEAKER_03: Uh paper mache again, I want to say.
50:57
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
50:57
SPEAKER_03: But more of like a matte finish than satisfying the like size of it.
51:02
SPEAKER_03: I I I wish a phone was this big.
51:03
SPEAKER_03: If phones are getting bigger, I wish they were they would get this big.
51:06
SPEAKER_03: Now, this must be an iPod mini, I have to say.
51:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
51:09
SPEAKER_03: Because of the second or third generation.
51:11
SPEAKER_03: Proportions of it.
51:12
SPEAKER_03: When it went square.
51:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
51:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, square, which is genius.
51:15
SPEAKER_03: That's what we call nuance.
51:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
51:17
SPEAKER_03: Because you know, you think iPod, you're gonna go classique.
51:19
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no.
51:20
SPEAKER_03: Not when you're Jennifer Shao.
51:21
SPEAKER_03: Not when you're Jennifer Shao.
51:25
SPEAKER_03: Now let me get my hand in this turkey before I offend someone else.
51:29
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
51:30
SPEAKER_03: Don't lose a bracelet in there.
51:32
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty, and the winner is Charlie A.
51:37
SPEAKER_03: Charlie A, you're making our voices crack.
51:38
SPEAKER_03: It's kind of look uh it looks a little bit like Charlie's.
51:41
SPEAKER_03: Uh not a Charlie's T, a Charlie A.
51:44
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Charlie A.
51:45
SPEAKER_03: You are the proud owner of a beautiful ornament just in time for the holidays.
51:50
SPEAKER_03: And on that note, we're gonna take a quick break and come back with more of this goddamn raffle.
51:55
SPEAKER_05: And Charlie, you're under arrest for how much music you did pirate back in the day.
51:58
SPEAKER_05: Yes, I they're here.
52:01
SPEAKER_05: So take that to prison.
52:09
SPEAKER_03: And we're back with Miley Cyrus's vagina dentata outfit from the mother's daughter music video by the artist Weston Way.
52:18
SPEAKER_06: Woo! Describe it.
52:19
SPEAKER_06: What is it?
52:19
SPEAKER_03: A vagina what?
52:20
SPEAKER_03: Vagina dentata.
52:21
SPEAKER_03: Meaning.
52:21
SPEAKER_03: What is a dentata uh dentals?
52:24
SPEAKER_03: Um teeth.
52:25
SPEAKER_03: A vagina with teeth.
52:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh, wow, that's crazy.
52:28
SPEAKER_03: Playing to the um classic psychological fear of being uh having your dick bitten off when you enter uh uh a vagina.
52:35
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
52:35
SPEAKER_03: Something you would know very well.
52:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
52:38
SPEAKER_03: This is this vagina is packed with teeth.
52:42
SPEAKER_03: It's giving great white, multi-layers of tons and tons of teeth.
52:47
SPEAKER_03: What's the material?
52:48
SPEAKER_03: Uh what are we clay?
52:50
SPEAKER_03: I think it's clay.
52:51
SPEAKER_03: It's glazed clay.
52:52
SPEAKER_03: Glazed.
52:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's red.
52:54
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's glazed.
52:55
SPEAKER_03: It's got some uh bedazzling.
52:57
SPEAKER_03: The crack is bedazzled.
52:59
SPEAKER_03: The crack is blasted with red glitter, yeah, which we love.
53:02
SPEAKER_03: We have some hand pressed.
53:03
SPEAKER_03: That's what my ass looks like.
53:04
SPEAKER_03: It's getting kind of like discount units.
53:06
SPEAKER_03: But with this sort of vibes.
53:06
SPEAKER_03: I wonder what the actual.
53:07
SPEAKER_03: It's not my hairy taco ass, but make it glitter, make it say, and make it Miley Cyrus.
53:11
SPEAKER_03: And bright red.
53:11
SPEAKER_03: Um I love it.
53:13
SPEAKER_03: This got some booty in the back, something for everyone here, really.
53:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
53:17
SPEAKER_03: Teeth, full set of veneers, these this she wore this.
53:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she did.
53:22
SPEAKER_03: I actually I I love that song.
53:23
SPEAKER_03: It comes on my like Apple.
53:24
SPEAKER_03: I don't even know the song.
53:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, it was like a single, like a one-off.
53:27
SPEAKER_03: Can't be tamed.
53:28
SPEAKER_03: Like, uh yeah, it was can't be tamed.
53:29
SPEAKER_03: Uh, she was in the birdcage again.
53:31
SPEAKER_03: Um what is going on with Miley?
53:32
SPEAKER_03: She's like pussy can't be tamed.
53:34
SPEAKER_03: Divorced her dad.
53:34
SPEAKER_03: Yes, she did.
53:35
SPEAKER_03: You can divorce your dad if you're Miley.
53:37
SPEAKER_03: Wait, what's the song?
53:38
SPEAKER_03: Mother's daughter.
53:39
SPEAKER_03: Not a huge hit, but a niche one.
53:41
SPEAKER_03: Um, if you're into niche ornaments, uh, we're about to find out if you are the winner.
53:46
SPEAKER_03: So there is no end to this uh cavity.
53:49
SPEAKER_03: Oh, but actually we found a winner, and that winner is Kitty A.
53:54
SPEAKER_03: Kitty A.
53:55
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
53:56
SPEAKER_03: Enjoy this kitty V.
53:57
SPEAKER_03: This uh vagina D.
53:59
SPEAKER_03: Vagina D dentata.
54:01
SPEAKER_03: It's gonna spice up your yeah, it's gonna bite you, and uh, we won't be legally responsible for any injuries um that you may incur in the future from this ornament.
54:10
SPEAKER_03: Uh, but enjoy.
54:12
SPEAKER_03: Enjoy it so beautiful.
54:14
SPEAKER_03: Next.
54:15
SPEAKER_03: I know her.
54:16
SPEAKER_03: I know this girl.
54:17
SPEAKER_03: Yes, we do.
54:18
SPEAKER_03: Uh and if if you're a a good God-fearing faggot, you know this girl too.
54:22
SPEAKER_03: We have a gorgeous, what appears to be paper mache, hand-painted, little Edie ornament in her beautiful 4th of July regalia, uh, headscarf flowing in the breeze.
54:34
SPEAKER_03: It's Bouviazing.
54:35
SPEAKER_03: And the artist is Kate Palermo.
54:38
SPEAKER_03: Kate Palermo.
54:40
SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
54:41
SPEAKER_03: I don't know if anyone heard, but I said it's B for Bouvillaising.
54:46
SPEAKER_03: It's Bouvillasing.
54:47
SPEAKER_03: Um, what's uh a beautiful choice um on this ornament is the the red in the stripes and in her head scarf is actually like a neon orange, which is a beautiful again, nuance.
55:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
55:02
SPEAKER_03: Love nuance.
55:04
SPEAKER_03: Now I wonder if like she was thinking about like the newer HBO one with Drew or the original.
55:10
SPEAKER_03: This is giving original.
55:12
SPEAKER_03: I mean, yeah.
55:13
SPEAKER_03: But don't hate on Drew's performance.
55:15
SPEAKER_03: No, but it wasn't it, it was Drew was the daughter and uh Jessica Lang was the mom, right?
55:21
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
55:22
SPEAKER_03: Drew was a little young for that role, I would say.
55:25
SPEAKER_03: It was last year.
55:26
SPEAKER_03: No, it wasn't recent.
55:27
SPEAKER_03: No, it was not.
55:28
SPEAKER_03: It was like 10 years ago, like 15 years ago.
55:30
SPEAKER_03: She's 90.
55:31
SPEAKER_03: She's in makeup.
55:32
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
55:33
SPEAKER_03: Well, I love it.
55:34
SPEAKER_03: It looks perfect.
55:35
SPEAKER_03: It's in the switch up the colors.
55:37
SPEAKER_03: It has like a baked-in sort of like um wind effect.
55:41
SPEAKER_03: She's fly flying and lifting.
55:42
SPEAKER_03: She's doing her signature little E D flag dance.
55:46
SPEAKER_03: It's uh emotive and in motion.
55:49
SPEAKER_03: Um, this is one of a kind.
55:51
SPEAKER_03: And um And I'm selling it for$9 million.
55:53
SPEAKER_03: Um cats are dying and need to be fed.
55:55
SPEAKER_03: And the raccoons are eating a lot.
55:56
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
55:57
SPEAKER_03: All right, dive in.
55:58
SPEAKER_03: Okay, Kelly S.
56:00
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations.
56:02
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Kelly S.
56:03
SPEAKER_03: This is a beautiful uh ornament for anyone's home, but you're the one who's gonna have it, so you win.
56:08
SPEAKER_03: Love it.
56:08
SPEAKER_03: Go off.
56:09
SPEAKER_03: Next.
56:09
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have a queernivorous plant sapling by the artist Wendy Wood, the one and only Wendy Wood.
56:15
SPEAKER_05: Hi, Wendy.
56:16
SPEAKER_05: Hi Wendy.
56:17
SPEAKER_03: We know Wendy.
56:18
SPEAKER_03: She's our Alma Mata.
56:19
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Alma Mat from Alma Mata from Rizzy.
56:23
SPEAKER_03: What an incredible job.
56:24
SPEAKER_03: Uh, rumor has it that this is paper mache and crochet.
56:27
SPEAKER_03: And there are uh Shay Shay Shea.
56:29
SPEAKER_03: Sequin appliques gem appliques, uh, appliques of all sorts.
56:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, Wendy, where do you get these tiny little like applique things?
56:40
SPEAKER_03: Because like mommy needs to know.
56:41
SPEAKER_03: So page me.
56:42
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
56:43
SPEAKER_03: Um, we're it's giving uh neon green.
56:46
SPEAKER_03: We have some disco ball vibes meets little shop of harrow.
56:50
SPEAKER_03: Periwinkle, some purple, some teal, some lime yellow.
56:54
SPEAKER_03: We've got pink.
56:55
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's really cute.
56:56
SPEAKER_03: This would stand out on a tree.
56:58
SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
56:58
SPEAKER_03: It's a little vaginal in places, too.
57:00
SPEAKER_03: I'm I'm waiting for the vaginal.
57:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
57:02
SPEAKER_03: Wendy, you always do.
57:04
SPEAKER_03: And at its core.
57:05
SPEAKER_03: It's a it's a ball.
57:06
SPEAKER_03: It's an orb.
57:06
SPEAKER_03: It's a Christmas ball, you know?
57:07
SPEAKER_05: It's uh it's well what you're not seeing is these uh glass beads.
57:11
SPEAKER_05: That's sort of outline.
57:14
SPEAKER_03: The detail in here is exquisite, Wendy.
57:16
SPEAKER_03: You truly snapped.
57:18
SPEAKER_03: You really snap draggoned over this.
57:21
SPEAKER_03: That sucks.
57:22
SPEAKER_03: Plant pun.
57:23
SPEAKER_03: Plant pun, we love them.
57:25
SPEAKER_03: Diving in.
57:25
SPEAKER_03: We'll see who can take on this beautiful Wendy Wood original is.
57:29
SPEAKER_03: Your tree's gonna want to wear this vibes, Wendy.
57:32
SPEAKER_03: Recipient is uh uh oh my god, uh, it's Sarah.
57:38
SPEAKER_03: Nick Dell.
57:38
SPEAKER_03: Nick Dell!
57:39
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god! Right in the pod, uh Sarah.
57:43
SPEAKER_05: Nancy, my ex-wifey girlfriend, friendy, lovey, bestie.
57:46
SPEAKER_03: And my current new wife and girlfriend.
57:48
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, we didn't get a chance to tell you.
57:49
SPEAKER_03: Um God, we always talk about Sarah.
57:51
SPEAKER_03: No, we love you, Sarah.
57:52
SPEAKER_03: She's addicted to crochet plants, balls, um glass beads.
57:57
SPEAKER_03: Glass beads.
57:59
SPEAKER_05: She's queer for glass beads.
58:00
SPEAKER_05: She's queer, she's queer ally.
58:01
SPEAKER_05: She's an ally.
58:01
SPEAKER_05: Congrats.
58:02
SPEAKER_03: She's gonna literally shark her diaper.
58:06
SPEAKER_03: She is going to pop a catheter tonight over this because I know she put her an ostomy bag is gonna be a blasting on.
58:14
SPEAKER_03: She had into this and it paid off.
58:16
SPEAKER_03: So And Sarah and Wendy are friends.
58:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
58:18
SPEAKER_03: So it's an inside job.
58:20
SPEAKER_03: Inside job.
58:21
SPEAKER_03: I'm smelling an inside job.
58:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
58:23
SPEAKER_03: This is null it.
58:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
58:24
SPEAKER_03: No, we're pulling again.
58:25
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
58:26
SPEAKER_03: Going back in the turkey, Sarah.
58:27
SPEAKER_03: Just kidding.
58:27
SPEAKER_03: Enjoy it.
58:28
SPEAKER_03: Enjoy your ball.
58:29
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
58:30
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have uh a beautiful hand beaded uh ornament that is looking through opera glasses, but maybe in reverse.
58:43
SPEAKER_03: It's a little bit um So it's like from the performer's point of view, if he could zoom in, yeah.
58:49
SPEAKER_03: Like if you're on stage performing uh opera and you look up into the crowd and see someone looking at you, this is what you're seeing.
58:55
SPEAKER_03: This is what you're seeing in their glasses by Reese Bice.
58:58
SPEAKER_03: Reese Bice by the artist Reese Bice.
59:00
SPEAKER_03: Not affiliated with Bo Bice.
59:02
SPEAKER_03: The Bice family is uh they they uh roll deep and they're very creative, so maybe you are.
59:07
SPEAKER_05: I don't know.
59:08
SPEAKER_05: Uh but I like the uh kind of twist on this prompt.
59:12
SPEAKER_05: I mean, I think no one was expecting you to go performer point of view, yeah.
59:17
SPEAKER_03: It was like opera uh viewer through the looking glass kind of eye, and here we are from the stage.
59:23
SPEAKER_03: It's a thinker, it's a thinker in a good way.
59:25
SPEAKER_03: Um, and it's also gorgeous.
59:27
SPEAKER_03: It's yeah, the beating on this is exquisite.
59:29
SPEAKER_03: There's like a dripping uh tendril of beads.
59:32
SPEAKER_03: They're crying, yeah.
59:34
SPEAKER_05: So it's like whatever you're doing and singing, you're you're killing it because you're making them cry.
59:39
SPEAKER_03: The audience is reacting stunningly glass bead tear.
59:42
SPEAKER_03: That's gorgeous.
59:43
SPEAKER_03: That is actually gorgeous.
59:44
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
59:45
SPEAKER_03: I could even hang that on a wall, you know?
59:47
SPEAKER_03: It could be like a nice little moment in your um in your foyer.
59:50
SPEAKER_03: We're always looking for beaters.
59:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
59:52
SPEAKER_03: So around here.
59:54
SPEAKER_03: Literally.
59:55
SPEAKER_03: I'm like, all these people can crochet and bead like glass bead.
59:58
SPEAKER_03: You're hired.
59:58
SPEAKER_03: Hi, call me.
1:00:00
SPEAKER_03: I need a couple corsets done.
1:00:02
SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much, Reese Bice.
1:00:04
SPEAKER_03: Reese Bice.
1:00:05
SPEAKER_03: You're a genius.
1:00:06
SPEAKER_03: Uh, shall I pull to see who will be taking home this incredible uh one of a kind one?
1:00:10
SPEAKER_03: I love how abstract it is because it's kind of it has a little surreal.
1:00:12
SPEAKER_03: You can apply.
1:00:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, surreal.
1:00:14
SPEAKER_03: There's some Dali in there, and it's moody.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_03: And it's moody.
1:00:17
SPEAKER_03: It's packed with mood.
1:00:18
SPEAKER_03: And the winner taking home this uh one of a kind mood is Dapoli G.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_03: Again.
1:00:23
SPEAKER_03: Dipoli G.
1:00:24
SPEAKER_03: Dipoli G, you're tearing it up and you're winning, babe.
1:00:27
SPEAKER_03: You love presents for yourself, apparently.
1:00:31
SPEAKER_03: No, you love charity, and we love you for that.
1:00:33
SPEAKER_03: And I want you to have a good time with this alone.
1:00:37
SPEAKER_03: And and you probably will.
1:00:39
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:00:40
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:00:40
SPEAKER_03: All right.
1:00:41
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:00:41
SPEAKER_03: This, okay.
1:00:42
SPEAKER_03: Listeners, viewers, tune in, perk up.
1:00:44
SPEAKER_03: Listen, this is a special one.
1:00:46
SPEAKER_03: All right, we have a one-of-a-kind Greg Kozatec original.
1:00:50
SPEAKER_03: This is the cake that Julianne Moore makes John C.
1:00:54
SPEAKER_03: Riley in the hours.
1:00:56
SPEAKER_03: And not only that, it's not one, not two, but three versions.
1:01:01
SPEAKER_03: So three winners.
1:01:02
SPEAKER_03: Three winners, three poles from the turkey.
1:01:03
SPEAKER_03: That's incredible.
1:01:04
SPEAKER_03: Because wow, Greg, like I'm gagging.
1:01:06
SPEAKER_05: Like, how did you get that chocolate frosting so real?
1:01:09
SPEAKER_05: It's so shiny, viewers, listeners.
1:01:12
SPEAKER_05: It is it looks so, so edible.
1:01:14
SPEAKER_03: Like, I'm actually blown away at the spoilness of the chocolate.
1:01:19
SPEAKER_03: It's giving Greg's cake.
1:01:20
SPEAKER_05: Uh, Greg Kozatecks from Rhode Island, and Greg's the restaurant is a diner chain that's legendary, and they're known for their cakes.
1:01:28
SPEAKER_03: And I'm seeing the inspo.
1:01:30
SPEAKER_03: I know it's not what it's about.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm staring.
1:01:32
SPEAKER_03: I'm you've had some Greg's cake.
1:01:34
SPEAKER_03: Did you use like a micro piping bag?
1:01:36
SPEAKER_03: Like multiple.
1:01:37
SPEAKER_03: This is the detail in this is insane.
1:01:40
SPEAKER_03: Here, I love this.
1:01:41
SPEAKER_03: Look at the actually haven't seen the hour.
1:01:43
SPEAKER_03: The hour.
1:01:44
SPEAKER_03: The hour.
1:01:44
SPEAKER_03: That's the prequel.
1:01:46
SPEAKER_03: The hours is the sequel.
1:01:47
SPEAKER_03: The hour.
1:01:47
SPEAKER_03: The hour.
1:01:48
SPEAKER_03: Single.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_03: Singular.
1:01:49
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:01:50
SPEAKER_03: I have not seen the hours.
1:01:51
SPEAKER_03: The hours.
1:01:52
SPEAKER_03: Have you?
1:01:52
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:01:54
SPEAKER_03: Would I like it?
1:01:54
SPEAKER_03: Uh I think you would.
1:01:55
SPEAKER_03: It's it's amazing.
1:01:57
SPEAKER_03: I it's Julianne Moore, um, Nicole Kidman, and Meryl Streep.
1:02:00
SPEAKER_03: It's Nicole Kidman with a nose.
1:02:02
SPEAKER_03: Um she's Virginia Wolf.
1:02:03
SPEAKER_03: So cool.
1:02:04
SPEAKER_03: Okay, you're making a high layer for all of us.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_05: I love cake.
1:02:08
SPEAKER_05: I love, yeah, that's it's fascinating vibes for sure.
1:02:11
SPEAKER_05: And um, I love frosting blue, yeah, which is uh I painted my bedroom frosting blue.
1:02:18
SPEAKER_03: Usually frosting blue is a little bit more like baby blue, a little lighter, cool blue, but that is one to two clicks like that's this is more nuanced and beautiful.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1:02:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
1:02:29
SPEAKER_03: Truly, yeah.
1:02:29
SPEAKER_03: Thank God there's three.
1:02:31
SPEAKER_03: And just another round of applause for Greg in general for putting all this together.
1:02:34
SPEAKER_03: It's actually I don't know if y'all like can get it when we edit it all together, but this is like so much work.
1:02:40
SPEAKER_03: It's incredible.
1:02:41
SPEAKER_03: Um, true mega props.
1:02:43
SPEAKER_03: Okay, we're pulling three times.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_03: All right.
1:02:45
SPEAKER_03: And I want one that's not ours themed, just cake.
1:02:48
SPEAKER_03: Okay, first pull.
1:02:50
SPEAKER_03: We have Zachary C.
1:02:52
SPEAKER_03: Woo! Uh congrats.
1:02:54
SPEAKER_03: Um, all right.
1:02:55
SPEAKER_03: Second poll, we have Allison D.
1:02:58
SPEAKER_03: And for the third and final hours themed cake made entirely of spackle.
1:03:03
SPEAKER_03: Uh, Rhett M.
1:03:04
SPEAKER_03: Rhett M.
1:03:05
SPEAKER_03: Woo! Rhett.
1:03:07
SPEAKER_03: You love cake, don't you?
1:03:09
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
1:03:10
SPEAKER_05: Wow.
1:03:10
SPEAKER_05: Congrats to those three winners.
1:03:12
SPEAKER_05: I don't want shit, Greg, but this is almost making me want to watch the hours.
1:03:16
SPEAKER_05: And that's a huge compliment.
1:03:17
SPEAKER_05: Okay.
1:03:18
SPEAKER_05: All right.
1:03:18
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_03: I want cake.
1:03:19
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have My Little Pink Pony Club by the artist Mary Jane Begin, uh Rizzy Professor uh in the illustration department.
1:03:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, this is gorgeous.
1:03:29
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, we were just talking about how this is OG, uh vintage My Little Pony, because they came out with like a new generation and they're dumb and simplified and stupid and not glam and cool.
1:03:39
SPEAKER_05: So I'm glad it's the OG.
1:03:41
SPEAKER_05: And I was also recently told that that little mark on the ass is called a cutie mark, not a cutie mark.
1:03:48
SPEAKER_03: Like beauty mark, yeah.
1:03:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, an OG franchise.
1:03:51
SPEAKER_03: She's got some, she's got pearls, she's got metallic butterfly details, she's got a watermelon weave, uh burdays, rhinestone drip, um, a beautiful purple ribbon.
1:04:03
SPEAKER_03: Would you call that watermelon the hair?
1:04:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, totally.
1:04:06
SPEAKER_03: Because it's it's not only it's a sort of um uh pinky red, but there's also actual pink highlights in there.
1:04:10
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, there's low lights, highlights, there's something for everyone here.
1:04:13
SPEAKER_03: She's balayage to the gods.
1:04:14
SPEAKER_05: Chapel Rowan.
1:04:15
SPEAKER_05: We were just talking about this.
1:04:16
SPEAKER_05: We were just talking about it?
1:04:17
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, because remember, like I started playing it because like the lyric is like mommy, please.
1:04:22
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, yeah.
1:04:23
SPEAKER_03: You need to talk about this because I don't I don't know if this is like specific to your family or is Well, she refers to She's talking about her mama.
1:04:30
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but I'm I pretend that it's her mom saying mom mommy to chapel because Italians uh refer to whoever they're talking to as like their title.
1:04:41
SPEAKER_03: So like I call my nieces and nephews uncle and like my mom I grew up with her calling me mommy, or like Nana calls me nanny Nana.
1:04:50
SPEAKER_03: Or like my dad would be like daddy, like what are you doing?
1:04:53
SPEAKER_03: And it's really really comforting, but strange.
1:04:55
SPEAKER_02: Your Nana would call you Nana.
1:04:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:04:58
SPEAKER_02: You say Nana.
1:04:59
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:05:00
SPEAKER_02: This is shocking.
1:05:01
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, he had the same reaction.
1:05:03
SPEAKER_02: Uncle.
1:05:06
SPEAKER_03: Wait, you're not gonna be like, like my auntie, like she'd be like, Auntie, well, like no, what are you doing?
1:05:11
SPEAKER_03: And it's really comforting.
1:05:13
SPEAKER_05: I can't explain it.
1:05:14
SPEAKER_03: But can you like I we need a better example, I think.
1:05:16
SPEAKER_03: It's like so it's like you'd be running around and your and your nana would say, Do you want something to eat, Nana?
1:05:22
SPEAKER_03: It's weird.
1:05:22
SPEAKER_03: And when I hear it out loud, it's really, really weird.
1:05:25
SPEAKER_03: But I don't know, people need to respond, maybe Italians customer.
1:05:30
SPEAKER_03: Italian listeners call in um And say, like, Am I alone here?
1:05:33
SPEAKER_03: Well, why why don't you pull and see who's gonna take this this uh bad girl home?
1:05:36
SPEAKER_03: I love a horse with eyeshadow.
1:05:38
SPEAKER_03: Now, whoever wins this will also uh be exempt from any persecution they experience at the hands of Chapel Roan.
1:05:45
SPEAKER_03: So feel free to comment about anything she does.
1:05:48
SPEAKER_03: That also has happened.
1:05:49
SPEAKER_03: Her like weird interaction with like the pop the paps.
1:05:52
SPEAKER_03: She's cringe.
1:05:53
SPEAKER_03: I love her, but that was cringe.
1:05:54
SPEAKER_03: But she's like, You were mean to me.
1:05:56
SPEAKER_03: You were mean to me the other day.
1:05:58
SPEAKER_05: Girl, what would have been cooler?
1:06:00
SPEAKER_03: She just was like high road, high road vibes.
1:06:03
SPEAKER_03: But what do I know?
1:06:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, the one, the only Wendy W.
1:06:07
SPEAKER_03: Wendy Wood! Wendy Wood! Congrats! We can't say last names, but we know you.
1:06:10
SPEAKER_03: We already talked about it.
1:06:11
SPEAKER_03: We know you know, yeah.
1:06:12
SPEAKER_05: And we know where you live.
1:06:13
SPEAKER_05: Miss Wood, if you're nasty, congrats on this horse.
1:06:16
SPEAKER_05: I know you too love horses in eyeshadow and um cutie marks, booty marks, whatever you want.
1:06:22
SPEAKER_03: It's yours.
1:06:23
SPEAKER_03: Have uh a great time with this little horse.
1:06:25
SPEAKER_03: We know you will.
1:06:26
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
1:06:27
SPEAKER_03: Next, I've been given the tour of Italy.
1:06:31
SPEAKER_03: You sure have, which is apparently an entree at the Olive Garden by artist Stephen Hamill.
1:06:38
SPEAKER_03: It's lasagna, fettuccine, and chicken parmesan.
1:06:41
SPEAKER_03: Chicken Parm.
1:06:42
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:06:43
SPEAKER_03: This is beautiful.
1:06:44
SPEAKER_03: If you love Olive Garden as like uh in an ironic way, uh-huh.
1:06:49
SPEAKER_03: I'm Italian, so I can't like actually I can't like compliment Olive Garden, but I do like it.
1:06:55
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've been to Olive Garden once.
1:06:58
SPEAKER_03: Once?
1:06:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:06:59
SPEAKER_03: Even I've been more than once.
1:07:00
SPEAKER_03: Well, we didn't really have it in my uh area growing up.
1:07:03
SPEAKER_03: And why is that?
1:07:04
SPEAKER_03: Huge anti-Itali sentiment in my in Rockland County.
1:07:08
SPEAKER_03: I'm here for this.
1:07:10
SPEAKER_03: I it's making me want to go to Olive Garden.
1:07:12
SPEAKER_03: It's beautifully glittered.
1:07:16
SPEAKER_03: Is adorned with Olive Garden leaves, little olive leaves.
1:07:20
SPEAKER_03: It's giving their um their brand.
1:07:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's gorgeous.
1:07:23
SPEAKER_03: That attention to detail is just incredible.
1:07:25
SPEAKER_03: The glittering um And the plating is spot on.
1:07:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:07:29
SPEAKER_03: Even though I've never been.
1:07:31
SPEAKER_03: That's what you're gonna do.
1:07:32
SPEAKER_03: Oh, I have, I have, I have.
1:07:33
SPEAKER_03: I've endless bread sticked.
1:07:35
SPEAKER_03: Is it um don't you worry?
1:07:36
SPEAKER_03: Is it uh clay?
1:07:38
SPEAKER_03: Um, it looks to be clay.
1:07:40
SPEAKER_03: And the back paper mache.
1:07:42
SPEAKER_05: Another paper mache.
1:07:43
SPEAKER_05: Why is paper mache back this year?
1:07:45
SPEAKER_03: It's insane.
1:07:46
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we got it.
1:07:47
SPEAKER_03: It's insanely good.
1:07:48
SPEAKER_03: On the back, there is a um there's a landscape detail of the Olive Garden uh establishment itself with the artist's name.
1:07:57
SPEAKER_03: Uh beautifully hand painted, hand crafted, hand glittered.
1:08:00
SPEAKER_03: We need to get this entree.
1:08:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that looks I the food is actually really, really good.
1:08:05
SPEAKER_03: The only problem is it's overseasoned.
1:08:06
SPEAKER_03: So it's like garlic burps for days.
1:08:09
SPEAKER_03: Like garlic granules, like that yellow garlic salsa.
1:08:12
SPEAKER_03: There's so much seasoning in those.
1:08:13
SPEAKER_03: It's like carabas.
1:08:14
SPEAKER_03: I wonder how carabas in um Olive Garden if they get along.
1:08:17
SPEAKER_03: Oh no, there's bad blood.
1:08:19
SPEAKER_03: It's like Romeo and Juliet.
1:08:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:08:21
SPEAKER_03: There must be.
1:08:22
SPEAKER_03: We should get endless breadsticks and we should find out who the winner is for this fucking ornament.
1:08:27
SPEAKER_03: The tea, Mama.
1:08:28
SPEAKER_03: Um, all right, diving in.
1:08:29
SPEAKER_03: Uh, the winner is Catherine Yu.
1:08:32
SPEAKER_03: Catherine Yu.
1:08:34
SPEAKER_03: You've won.
1:08:35
SPEAKER_03: And you ate, Mama.
1:08:37
SPEAKER_03: You will eat.
1:08:37
SPEAKER_03: You will eat when you get this retreat.
1:08:40
SPEAKER_03: Endless breadsticks and soup and salad.
1:08:42
SPEAKER_03: Salad.
1:08:43
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:08:44
SPEAKER_03: Is the soup endless?
1:08:45
SPEAKER_03: No.
1:08:45
SPEAKER_03: It's endless soup, salad, and breadsticks?
1:08:47
SPEAKER_03: No, no, it's just endless saless breadsticks.
1:08:49
SPEAKER_03: I'm looking at look at Ducky and two.
1:08:52
SPEAKER_03: Any two?
1:08:53
SPEAKER_03: Can someone please get the Alfred?
1:08:56
unknown: It's just unlimited breadsticks.
1:08:58
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
1:09:00
SPEAKER_03: That sounds like uh stagflation to me.
1:09:03
SPEAKER_03: Anyway, moving on.
1:09:04
SPEAKER_03: Endless breadsticks.
1:09:05
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:09:05
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have the uh Magic Mirror from Snow White by the artist Phantom Limb Company, Jessica Grinstaff and Eric Senko.
1:09:15
SPEAKER_03: And it's spot on, you know.
1:09:17
SPEAKER_05: It's just making me realize that the choice of like the design for this character is strange because it's a floating mask.
1:09:23
SPEAKER_03: It's a floating mask.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_03: In a mirror.
1:09:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:09:25
SPEAKER_03: You know what I mean?
1:09:25
SPEAKER_05: Like what a choice.
1:09:26
SPEAKER_05: What a good choice.
1:09:27
SPEAKER_03: And like what a gay choice at the end of the day.
1:09:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:09:29
SPEAKER_05: Well, Snow White is so, so gay.
1:09:31
SPEAKER_05: Like the evil queen comes from that.
1:09:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, but you know what's not going to be gay is the new Snow White movie that's coming out.
1:09:35
SPEAKER_03: I know.
1:09:36
SPEAKER_03: Because unfortunately, Gal Godot is um It's not Gal Godot.
1:09:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she's the evil queen.
1:09:41
SPEAKER_03: Oh God.
1:09:43
SPEAKER_03: She is one of.
1:09:44
SPEAKER_03: It just gets worse.
1:09:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:09:46
SPEAKER_03: My goodness.
1:09:47
SPEAKER_03: She's the worst actor on on earth.
1:09:49
SPEAKER_03: Um Gal Godon.
1:09:50
SPEAKER_03: And she's bad for other reasons.
1:09:51
SPEAKER_03: Um, really Gal Godon't.
1:09:53
SPEAKER_03: Uh and she's gorgeous, but I don't know if it's like the mug gorgeous.
1:09:57
SPEAKER_03: Like, you need to have like the mug to be the evil queen.
1:10:01
SPEAKER_03: The evil queen raised all us gays.
1:10:04
SPEAKER_03: She really, really did.
1:10:05
SPEAKER_03: Like to look that fierce in a uh in a head cap, yeah, sleeve turtleneck zentai suit.
1:10:12
SPEAKER_03: Cunt.
1:10:13
SPEAKER_03: She invented Zentai suits.
1:10:15
SPEAKER_03: You know what's a great current mood when she gets ugly, like that like old, like little closing the trapdoor.
1:10:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
1:10:23
SPEAKER_03: That's that great current mood.
1:10:25
SPEAKER_03: She's uh riddled with warts, and I will soon be too.
1:10:29
SPEAKER_03: And who won't be riddled with warts is the winner of this ornament, so why don't you pull and find out?
1:10:33
SPEAKER_03: Yes, who is the fairest of them all?
1:10:35
SPEAKER_03: Let's find out.
1:10:36
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations, Paul D.
1:10:38
SPEAKER_03: Paul D.
1:10:39
SPEAKER_03: You are the fairest one of all.
1:10:41
SPEAKER_03: Well, TBD.
1:10:42
SPEAKER_03: We'll see what he says.
1:10:43
SPEAKER_03: We'll see what your treat looks like.
1:10:44
SPEAKER_03: He might be like, mmm, get back to me.
1:10:47
SPEAKER_03: Oh, you think the mirror is a guy?
1:10:48
SPEAKER_03: The mirror is a guy.
1:10:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:10:50
SPEAKER_03: But he has a very feminine face.
1:10:51
SPEAKER_03: He's surged up.
1:10:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:10:53
SPEAKER_03: He's like an old gay.
1:10:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:10:55
SPEAKER_03: He's like a Palm Springs gay who's like, hi, girl.
1:10:57
SPEAKER_03: We don't know what he's gonna say to Paul.
1:10:59
SPEAKER_03: We don't know.
1:11:00
SPEAKER_03: Well, Paul sounds fair.
1:11:01
SPEAKER_03: You bitted on it, so I think you're confident in your looks.
1:11:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:11:04
SPEAKER_03: All right.
1:11:04
SPEAKER_03: Good luck.
1:11:05
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:11:05
SPEAKER_03: Okay, next up, we have this gorgeous brat tea, brat merch tea, by the one and only John Key.
1:11:13
SPEAKER_03: Dear friend, old Risdi alum.
1:11:15
SPEAKER_03: Twin?
1:11:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, John and Jarrett.
1:11:17
SPEAKER_03: The Keys.
1:11:18
SPEAKER_03: So fun.
1:11:19
SPEAKER_03: Thank you, John, for participating.
1:11:20
SPEAKER_03: John.
1:11:21
SPEAKER_03: Great work.
1:11:21
SPEAKER_03: Love you, Missy.
1:11:22
SPEAKER_03: This is gorgeous.
1:11:22
SPEAKER_03: Again, another you had a brat summer.
1:11:24
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:11:25
SPEAKER_03: Another garment on a beautiful hanger.
1:11:28
SPEAKER_03: A lot of wire hangers this season.
1:11:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, we're saying yes more wire hangers.
1:11:32
SPEAKER_05: Yes, we are.
1:11:33
SPEAKER_03: To this uh beautiful felted handwritten brat uh t-shirt.
1:11:39
SPEAKER_03: Now, what's what's I what I find materially interesting about this piece is the um the texture of the felt creates that same sort of low res, distorted text effect that the brat uh album art itself has.
1:11:52
SPEAKER_03: Not that you would know.
1:11:53
SPEAKER_03: Um that I would know.
1:11:54
SPEAKER_03: Because if you're a fan of the pod, you know I really miss the brat movement.
1:11:58
SPEAKER_03: Just like everything I miss.
1:12:00
SPEAKER_03: Well, you could have a brat winter.
1:12:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:12:02
SPEAKER_03: And so could whoever wins this ornament.
1:12:04
SPEAKER_03: So let's find out.
1:12:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:12:06
SPEAKER_03: Shall we?
1:12:06
SPEAKER_03: Dive in.
1:12:07
SPEAKER_03: I'm like because Gina doesn't have a lot to say.
1:12:09
SPEAKER_03: Gina Gina doesn't know Charlie, Brat, Apple.
1:12:12
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty.
1:12:13
SPEAKER_03: Sean R.
1:12:14
SPEAKER_03: Sean R, congrats.
1:12:16
SPEAKER_03: Girl Winter.
1:12:17
SPEAKER_03: You've won.
1:12:18
SPEAKER_03: It's you.
1:12:18
SPEAKER_03: And it's you.
1:12:20
SPEAKER_03: Don't go wicked.
1:12:21
SPEAKER_03: It's the wrong shade of green.
1:12:23
SPEAKER_03: Um, okay, next.
1:12:25
SPEAKER_03: No way.
1:12:27
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:12:28
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:12:29
SPEAKER_03: I am currently holding the Louis Vuitton bag that Sarah Jessica as Carrie Bradshaw gifts.
1:12:36
SPEAKER_03: Jessica Hudson.
1:12:37
SPEAKER_03: Jessica Hudson.
1:12:38
SPEAKER_03: Jessica, Jennifer Hudson.
1:12:39
SPEAKER_03: Jennifer Hudson.
1:12:41
SPEAKER_03: Who's known as Louise in the Sex and City one, the first movie.
1:12:46
SPEAKER_03: Why are they bringing her back?
1:12:47
SPEAKER_03: And just like.
1:12:48
SPEAKER_03: You know?
1:12:49
SPEAKER_03: It's because of that.
1:12:50
SPEAKER_03: Because no one likes Louise.
1:12:52
SPEAKER_03: Louise sucked.
1:12:54
SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry.
1:12:54
SPEAKER_03: I love Sex and City 1.
1:12:56
SPEAKER_03: It's a full season packed into one movie, including like some B episodes, which is when Louise shows up, but she does get a handbag.
1:13:05
SPEAKER_03: Um, and she's because she's looking for love or labels.
1:13:09
SPEAKER_03: Labels are love.
1:13:10
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:13:11
SPEAKER_03: Uh, and it's this precise bag, not nothing, no hate against J Hud.
1:13:15
SPEAKER_03: I love her, but just Louise.
1:13:17
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:13:18
SPEAKER_03: No one needs her.
1:13:19
SPEAKER_03: You don't need Louise.
1:13:20
SPEAKER_03: Get Louise out.
1:13:23
SPEAKER_03: A waste of time ultimately in the movie.
1:13:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:13:25
SPEAKER_03: The movie is so, so long.
1:13:27
SPEAKER_03: People don't know about Louise, and she has a lot of camera time.
1:13:31
SPEAKER_03: What's what's she doing?
1:13:31
SPEAKER_03: She's like cataloging Carrie's stuff.
1:13:33
SPEAKER_03: Like she's your intern.
1:13:34
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
1:13:35
SPEAKER_03: Carrie's a brunette for like one hour, and that's when Louise is around.
1:13:39
SPEAKER_03: As if any fucking employer would give you a Louis.
1:13:42
SPEAKER_03: Geez.
1:13:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:13:43
SPEAKER_03: Jeez, Louise.
1:13:43
SPEAKER_03: But if they're gonna give you a lucky girl.
1:13:47
SPEAKER_03: But if they're gonna give you one.
1:13:48
SPEAKER_03: Did you really deserve it?
1:13:49
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
1:13:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:13:50
SPEAKER_03: And that bag is gorgeously hand painted.
1:13:54
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing pink LVs.
1:13:56
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing dots.
1:13:57
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing clasps.
1:13:58
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing hardware.
1:13:59
SPEAKER_03: It's spot on because of course the one in the movie was kooky.
1:14:02
SPEAKER_03: It was like a kooky Louis V.
1:14:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's like Carrie, like we know why you gave it to Louise.
1:14:06
SPEAKER_03: No offense.
1:14:07
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:14:07
SPEAKER_03: She was like, this here, uh, this seems like your style.
1:14:11
SPEAKER_03: But this is iconic to recreate and to hang on your tree.
1:14:14
SPEAKER_03: Again, now that's can be a beautiful um uh you know hanging apparatus.
1:14:18
SPEAKER_03: It's just the handbag handle, and that's gonna go through your tree.
1:14:21
SPEAKER_05: Which some people love those kind of ornaments and some people don't.
1:14:23
SPEAKER_03: So it's like on the tree behind you, why not?
1:14:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, why not?
1:14:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can literally just sort of hang it on.
1:14:32
SPEAKER_03: Why haven't we been putting them all on the trees this whole time?
1:14:34
SPEAKER_03: That would have been amazing.
1:14:36
SPEAKER_05: So if you like ornaments that, you know, are have a built-in handle.
1:14:40
SPEAKER_05: Stick through, yeah.
1:14:41
SPEAKER_05: Stick through, the stick through type, this is for you.
1:14:43
SPEAKER_05: This is for you.
1:14:44
SPEAKER_03: If you don't, this is not for you.
1:14:46
SPEAKER_05: And you'll never be Louise.
1:14:48
SPEAKER_03: But you will win this bag.
1:14:50
SPEAKER_03: And the winner is Louise.
1:14:54
SPEAKER_03: Cynthia N?
1:14:55
SPEAKER_05: Cynthia N! You got the Louise bag.
1:14:59
SPEAKER_03: No, Kitty A again.
1:15:00
SPEAKER_03: Kitty A! Congrats, Kitty.
1:15:02
SPEAKER_03: Kitty A, you got the Louise bag.
1:15:04
SPEAKER_03: And that's a good one.
1:15:04
SPEAKER_03: It's Louise Vuitton around here somewhere.
1:15:08
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:15:09
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have uh a beautiful ornament by the name Slim Chain.
1:15:14
SPEAKER_03: Uh it's part of a series, but you're only getting the one uh by the artist Becca Barnett.
1:15:18
SPEAKER_03: And it's a play on gay chain.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:15:20
SPEAKER_03: It's a play on the gay chain.
1:15:22
SPEAKER_03: Now, this is it's giving locket, it's giving religious uh windows.
1:15:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm getting breasts.
1:15:29
SPEAKER_03: It's giving mannequin bucks.
1:15:30
SPEAKER_03: It's giving little succulent titties that we love.
1:15:33
SPEAKER_03: We live for that.
1:15:34
SPEAKER_03: Little savage breasts.
1:15:35
SPEAKER_03: Amazing.
1:15:36
SPEAKER_03: Uh no arms, uh little kind of cum gutters and a belly button.
1:15:40
SPEAKER_03: Um it's a beautiful stained glass like window.
1:15:43
SPEAKER_03: And I feel like it could open if if we wanted to, but maybe we we won't on camera.
1:15:47
SPEAKER_03: But it's it's a it's there's hardware, there's chains, there's hand-painted gold.
1:15:52
SPEAKER_03: Gays love chains.
1:15:53
SPEAKER_03: Gays love chains.
1:15:54
SPEAKER_03: They do.
1:15:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's true.
1:15:55
SPEAKER_03: Did you chain when you were straight?
1:15:57
SPEAKER_03: No.
1:15:57
SPEAKER_03: In middle school when everyone was doing it?
1:15:59
SPEAKER_03: No.
1:15:59
SPEAKER_03: Really?
1:16:00
SPEAKER_03: I did.
1:16:01
SPEAKER_03: Then I went away for years and years, and now it's back in a huge way.
1:16:03
SPEAKER_03: And now I double chain.
1:16:04
SPEAKER_03: It's actually sounding nice.
1:16:05
SPEAKER_03: It's large.
1:16:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:16:06
SPEAKER_03: It's uh it's got some heft, it's transparent.
1:16:09
SPEAKER_03: My mom would like this.
1:16:11
SPEAKER_03: Your mom?
1:16:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she hates gays, but she loves dangers.
1:16:14
SPEAKER_03: Breasts.
1:16:15
SPEAKER_03: She loves breasts.
1:16:16
SPEAKER_03: But we're let's find out who's gonna love these breasts in their own home or their own tree.
1:16:20
SPEAKER_03: Uh, the winner for Skinny Chain is This is really chic.
1:16:24
SPEAKER_03: I'm not gonna lie.
1:16:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it there's something really special about that.
1:16:27
SPEAKER_03: Um, we've got uh Rita D.
1:16:30
SPEAKER_03: Rita D.
1:16:30
SPEAKER_03: Rita D.
1:16:31
SPEAKER_03: You're the winner of Skinny Chain, my dear.
1:16:33
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:16:34
SPEAKER_03: Like compliments to the artist because yes, it's funny and you know, tongue in cheek and within the prompt, but it's also just stunning.
1:16:41
SPEAKER_03: It's yeah, beautiful.
1:16:42
SPEAKER_03: Okay, next up we've got chunky chain on a chunky torso.
1:16:46
SPEAKER_03: On a chunky torso with some beautiful body hair.
1:16:49
SPEAKER_03: Uh, again, no limbs, no head, but this bust is uh busting out all over.
1:16:55
SPEAKER_03: My type, you know, I'm all torso.
1:16:57
SPEAKER_03: It's um gold leafed, uh, same hardware, same clasps, same hinges.
1:17:03
SPEAKER_03: Again, very, very classy.
1:17:04
SPEAKER_03: This is a work of art.
1:17:05
SPEAKER_03: I think, again, you could hang in the home after the holidays.
1:17:08
SPEAKER_04: For sure.
1:17:09
SPEAKER_04: And four.
1:17:09
SPEAKER_03: I mean, they really want to be a set, so I hope you know you bit on both.
1:17:13
SPEAKER_03: Bid on both in hopes of uh double win.
1:17:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:17:17
SPEAKER_03: Or maybe this is a set.
1:17:18
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:17:19
SPEAKER_03: This is high elegance.
1:17:20
SPEAKER_03: Maybe you and your lover are in a competition and you're competing to see who wins one or both.
1:17:25
SPEAKER_05: I love a chunky chain, but it does, you know, you do need the girth to kind of pull off the the chunkier you are, the chunkier the chain, right?
1:17:32
SPEAKER_03: I mean it's hard to pull off.
1:17:34
SPEAKER_03: There's only one to find out, and you're gonna have to just put your hand in the turkey's hole.
1:17:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:17:38
SPEAKER_03: Isn't it?
1:17:38
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say you could gain a ton and and pop a chain on and see how it how it looks.
1:17:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, don't twist my arm.
1:17:44
SPEAKER_03: The winner of Chunky China is Lauren W.
1:17:50
SPEAKER_03: Lauren W.
1:17:51
SPEAKER_03: Was that the same winner?
1:17:53
SPEAKER_03: Really?
1:17:54
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god! You gotta say your plan worked.
1:17:58
SPEAKER_05: Your conniving schemey plan.
1:17:59
SPEAKER_05: You're a genius.
1:18:01
SPEAKER_03: And I I want to see.
1:18:02
SPEAKER_03: Oh no, she didn't.
1:18:04
SPEAKER_03: Oh, okay.
1:18:06
SPEAKER_03: Uh sorry.
1:18:07
SPEAKER_03: Uh we demand a recount.
1:18:08
SPEAKER_03: Um sorry, girl.
1:18:10
SPEAKER_03: We uh maybe you guys should put ornaments together.
1:18:14
SPEAKER_03: Okay, gorgeous.
1:18:15
SPEAKER_03: Can congrats, Lauren, and congrats, Chunky Chine.
1:18:18
SPEAKER_03: And uh moving on to the next.
1:18:20
SPEAKER_03: Listeners, viewers, just some behind-the-scenes tea.
1:18:23
SPEAKER_03: Uh, Greg Kozetek is feeding us all of the names uh for the artists and the and the ornaments, and you have memorized all of them.
1:18:30
SPEAKER_03: Very impressive.
1:18:31
SPEAKER_03: So impressive.
1:18:31
SPEAKER_03: I can't even I could quiz ya.
1:18:33
SPEAKER_03: I literally can't even retain one word.
1:18:36
SPEAKER_03: Same.
1:18:36
SPEAKER_03: Uh but thank God for Greg.
1:18:38
SPEAKER_03: This ornament is by the artist Theo Quest, and it is Dakota Johnson's bowl of limes from her house tour.
1:18:45
SPEAKER_04: Architectural digest.
1:18:46
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:18:47
SPEAKER_03: On one side of this bowl of limes, there was a medallion that says I love limes, and then on the other side it says, actually, I'm allergic to limes.
1:18:53
SPEAKER_03: It actually says I love limes, laughs, I love them.
1:18:57
SPEAKER_05: Because like apparently she didn't know that there was a staged bowl of limes in her kitchen during this shoot.
1:19:04
SPEAKER_05: So she just said, I love limes.
1:19:06
SPEAKER_03: I love them.
1:19:08
SPEAKER_03: But she's allergic, isn't she?
1:19:10
SPEAKER_03: Aren't you, Dakota?
1:19:11
SPEAKER_03: She is the reason why everyone's kitchen is green now.
1:19:14
SPEAKER_03: That is, it's literally her fault, is from that video.
1:19:16
SPEAKER_03: And who doesn't love the girl who took down Ellen?
1:19:18
SPEAKER_03: And we are thankful for her for taking down Ellen.
1:19:20
SPEAKER_03: That's actually great.
1:19:21
SPEAKER_03: Because she did it in a cool way that wasn't cancelledly.
1:19:24
SPEAKER_03: It was just like she kept it real.
1:19:25
SPEAKER_03: She was like, I'm gonna call you on on shit.
1:19:27
SPEAKER_03: And she's like, actually, no.
1:19:28
SPEAKER_05: Actually, you're full of shit.
1:19:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:19:30
SPEAKER_05: And then everyone, you know, it opened the floodgates.
1:19:32
SPEAKER_03: A bowl of limes is like insane for dressing.
1:19:35
SPEAKER_03: At least apples, you can like eat an apple.
1:19:38
SPEAKER_03: Uh and the winner is Shira B.
1:19:41
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Shira B.
1:19:42
SPEAKER_03: You won these limes, hon.
1:19:44
SPEAKER_03: I hope you enjoy them, and then I hope you hate them.
1:19:46
SPEAKER_03: Just like Dakota.
1:19:48
SPEAKER_03: Next! Next! Uh, we have another gorgeous ornament.
1:19:52
SPEAKER_03: Uh, this is Mermaid Spa Day by Eliza Reisfeld, another RISD alum.
1:19:57
SPEAKER_03: Um, now I love this because like I need to be a mermaid and be in a spa.
1:20:02
SPEAKER_03: I am mermaid.
1:20:03
SPEAKER_03: This is beautiful.
1:20:03
SPEAKER_03: We've got um a terry cloth like towel head wrap.
1:20:07
SPEAKER_03: We have a tiny cocktail in hand.
1:20:10
SPEAKER_03: We've got some fluffy bubbles in the tub itself.
1:20:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, beautiful tail.
1:20:15
SPEAKER_05: Like a little bit of like tugged polyfill.
1:20:16
SPEAKER_05: That's giving you.
1:20:17
SPEAKER_05: There's a little bit of polyfill.
1:20:18
SPEAKER_03: It's great.
1:20:19
SPEAKER_03: It's really rendered as steam.
1:20:21
SPEAKER_03: It's gorgeous.
1:20:22
SPEAKER_03: She I see some shell um bra cups.
1:20:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh.
1:20:26
SPEAKER_03: And they're they're kind of hidden in there, so you do have to look, which is nice.
1:20:30
SPEAKER_03: It's a nice little hidden detail.
1:20:31
SPEAKER_05: And I love that rustic style hot tub.
1:20:33
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
1:20:33
SPEAKER_05: Very outback.
1:20:35
SPEAKER_05: What's the bathroom that you have to go out?
1:20:37
SPEAKER_05: It's like a an outhouse?
1:20:38
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, it's outhouse-y.
1:20:39
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this it's giving out house.
1:20:42
SPEAKER_03: Um, but Eliza, this is beautiful.
1:20:44
SPEAKER_03: Um, love the metallic.
1:20:45
SPEAKER_03: We literally love mermaids here.
1:20:47
SPEAKER_03: Liter tail on the country couch.
1:20:48
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:20:48
SPEAKER_03: We're pro mermaid and we're pro-bath.
1:20:51
SPEAKER_03: And she has instead of cucumbers on her eyes, she has starfish.
1:20:55
SPEAKER_03: That's funny.
1:20:56
SPEAKER_03: That's that's that's cute.
1:20:56
SPEAKER_03: That's kind of you killed it.
1:20:58
SPEAKER_03: What's on the bottom?
1:20:58
SPEAKER_03: Uh, it is her sticker and the date and her name.
1:21:02
SPEAKER_03: And her Venmo code.
1:21:04
SPEAKER_03: Just kidding.
1:21:05
SPEAKER_03: Of course it's for charity.
1:21:06
SPEAKER_05: Shall I put my hand in the turkey?
1:21:08
SPEAKER_03: Put that hand in there.
1:21:08
SPEAKER_03: Go as deep as you can, girl.
1:21:10
SPEAKER_05: And the winner is Nancy W.
1:21:12
SPEAKER_05: Nancy W.
1:21:13
SPEAKER_05: Congratulations.
1:21:14
SPEAKER_05: Congrats.
1:21:15
SPEAKER_03: You don't get a spot eye for yourself, but you get to look at one.
1:21:18
SPEAKER_03: On your tree.
1:21:19
SPEAKER_03: As a teeny statue.
1:21:20
SPEAKER_03: You know, this is designed to be hung, but it could be a topper.
1:21:24
SPEAKER_03: You know, this is this is beautiful.
1:21:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, no, I think it could be.
1:21:26
SPEAKER_03: I mean, like, if just angled the right way, there you go.
1:21:28
SPEAKER_03: That's that's the the piste de resistance.
1:21:30
SPEAKER_03: That's beautiful.
1:21:31
SPEAKER_03: What is she holding?
1:21:32
SPEAKER_03: A little cocktail, a little blue cocktail.
1:21:34
SPEAKER_03: Oh, is that hypnotic or blue curacao?
1:21:36
SPEAKER_03: It could be, but why not both?
1:21:38
SPEAKER_03: It's spa day.
1:21:39
SPEAKER_03: Double the blue, double the mermaid.
1:21:40
SPEAKER_03: Thank you very much.
1:21:41
SPEAKER_03: And on to the next.
1:21:42
SPEAKER_03: Okay, next up, we have We have Tony Sopranos Pool Duck by the artist Rachel Byland.
1:21:49
SPEAKER_03: Rachel Byland.
1:21:51
SPEAKER_03: I love the Sopranos.
1:21:52
SPEAKER_03: I think it's one of the best television series to this day.
1:21:56
SPEAKER_03: You haven't seen every single episode of Single Frame.
1:21:58
SPEAKER_05: What is wrong with you?
1:22:00
SPEAKER_03: Lots and lots of stuff.
1:22:01
SPEAKER_05: It's seriously so, so good.
1:22:02
SPEAKER_05: I know.
1:22:03
SPEAKER_05: It's a slow burner.
1:22:04
SPEAKER_05: I want to watch.
1:22:05
SPEAKER_05: I want to watch.
1:22:05
SPEAKER_03: You gotta buckle up and just.
1:22:07
SPEAKER_03: Do you want to hear what's wrong with me?
1:22:08
SPEAKER_03: I watched every episode of Breaking Bad up until the very last one.
1:22:13
SPEAKER_03: And then I didn't watch it.
1:22:14
SPEAKER_03: That's but I understand it a word.
1:22:16
SPEAKER_03: I was like, yeah.
1:22:17
SPEAKER_03: Sometimes it's a no.
1:22:18
SPEAKER_03: I don't know why, but it's like, yeah.
1:22:19
SPEAKER_03: No, I'm Sopranos on my list.
1:22:21
SPEAKER_03: It's seriously so, so good.
1:22:23
SPEAKER_03: And we're gonna find out who's taking this home to their own tree now.
1:22:27
SPEAKER_03: Girls, girls, and gays, we have another winner, our dear, dear friend, Sarah Nickdell.
1:22:32
SPEAKER_03: Ah, Sarah! Wow.
1:22:35
SPEAKER_03: What a great win.
1:22:36
SPEAKER_03: What a great win.
1:22:36
SPEAKER_03: What a great win.
1:22:37
SPEAKER_03: Should we take a quick break and come back with more uh of beautiful uh ornaments and winners?
1:22:42
SPEAKER_03: Bye.
1:22:49
SPEAKER_03: I am holding a Tamagotchi by artist Jack Joe.
1:22:53
SPEAKER_03: That's gorgeous.
1:22:54
SPEAKER_03: Is it paper mache again?
1:22:56
SPEAKER_03: No, this feels like clay.
1:22:57
SPEAKER_03: And it's meaty.
1:22:59
SPEAKER_03: You know?
1:22:59
SPEAKER_03: That's like a good hand feel as they.
1:23:01
SPEAKER_03: You ever need to like take an ornament and hurt someone?
1:23:03
SPEAKER_03: Your mother?
1:23:04
SPEAKER_03: This is the ornament you're gonna want to grab off the tree.
1:23:06
SPEAKER_05: It's giving this will take someone down.
1:23:08
SPEAKER_03: This will take a mom down.
1:23:09
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's giving millennial.
1:23:11
SPEAKER_03: Meaty and heavy and a flower.
1:23:13
SPEAKER_05: You know, you can pick what the what you're raising.
1:23:17
SPEAKER_05: And and Jack is raising plants.
1:23:20
SPEAKER_03: Now, see, I had a nano, I had a nano baby.
1:23:22
SPEAKER_03: I didn't have a tamagauchi.
1:23:24
SPEAKER_03: Well, gay.
1:23:24
SPEAKER_03: I had a I had a second hand.
1:23:26
SPEAKER_03: If you had like children, like you're you're gay.
1:23:29
SPEAKER_03: I was like, what?
1:23:30
SPEAKER_03: I'm just a mom.
1:23:31
SPEAKER_03: I'm just some busy mom.
1:23:33
SPEAKER_03: But I love tamagachis.
1:23:34
SPEAKER_03: Tamagachis are the OG.
1:23:35
SPEAKER_03: Nano, that's a spin off.
1:23:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:23:36
SPEAKER_03: No, no, no, no.
1:23:37
SPEAKER_03: You want a tamagauchi.
1:23:38
SPEAKER_03: You want a tamagauchi, but you're too poor to have one.
1:23:40
SPEAKER_03: Purple Tamagotchi.
1:23:41
SPEAKER_03: Now that's something else.
1:23:42
SPEAKER_03: And the Tamagotchi is supposed to be an egg.
1:23:44
SPEAKER_03: But there's like some pearlescent uh pinks going on.
1:23:47
SPEAKER_03: There's some glitter, pink, there's greens and blues.
1:23:49
SPEAKER_05: It's the signature Tamagotchi egg crack border.
1:23:54
SPEAKER_05: I have a Tamagotchi necklace.
1:23:55
SPEAKER_03: And there's some detail on the back too.
1:23:57
SPEAKER_03: There's some uh um It's really good.
1:23:59
SPEAKER_03: Branding.
1:24:00
SPEAKER_03: It's really good.
1:24:00
SPEAKER_03: And um, I appreciate the choice to like choose a plant to raise.
1:24:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, the flower is it's it's uh plant salated, those little doggies.
1:24:08
SPEAKER_03: The plant shit there's gotta be something that does.
1:24:11
SPEAKER_03: They must do something, yeah.
1:24:11
SPEAKER_03: It makes sense.
1:24:13
SPEAKER_03: Something like that.
1:24:13
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:24:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, blast seeds out.
1:24:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:24:15
SPEAKER_03: Uh because those dogs be dropping those 8-bit turds all day long.
1:24:20
SPEAKER_03: They gotta do something because they they're forcing you to clean up poop no matter what you do.
1:24:24
SPEAKER_03: It's like I had to get home from school because then like my daughter was like shitting everywhere.
1:24:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she was fucking shitting everywhere.
1:24:30
SPEAKER_03: And I was like, I'm such a bad mom.
1:24:33
SPEAKER_04: She's been home alone all day with the sitter.
1:24:37
SPEAKER_03: But um, Jack, I love it.
1:24:38
SPEAKER_03: That's so good.
1:24:39
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous and beautiful.
1:24:40
SPEAKER_03: And I I feel like it would click if you press the buttons.
1:24:43
SPEAKER_03: It feels real.
1:24:44
SPEAKER_03: Um and that's gonna be something that you really love in your own home.
1:24:47
SPEAKER_03: And hey, if there's too many turds, just hit reset.
1:24:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you can always have to be able to do that.
1:24:53
SPEAKER_03: And start over.
1:24:54
SPEAKER_03: And that's the benefit of having fake kids.
1:24:57
SPEAKER_03: You can kill them.
1:24:57
SPEAKER_03: Um the winner of this Tamagotchi is Ben L.
1:25:00
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Ben L.
1:25:01
SPEAKER_03: Ben, congrats.
1:25:02
SPEAKER_03: I wanna I'm gonna hold it.
1:25:04
SPEAKER_03: Whoa, hold on.
1:25:05
SPEAKER_03: We weren't talking about the heft.
1:25:07
SPEAKER_03: What'd I say?
1:25:08
SPEAKER_03: It was meaty.
1:25:09
SPEAKER_03: This is the size and like hand-filling um like quality that like I would have so much imaginary power with this as a kid.
1:25:17
SPEAKER_03: I'd be like, Yeah, the size.
1:25:18
SPEAKER_03: I'm going on adventures with this.
1:25:20
SPEAKER_03: This is like, this is giving me my entire uh like I could dig evolve with this.
1:25:24
SPEAKER_03: This is great.
1:25:25
SPEAKER_03: Okay, anyway, moving on.
1:25:26
SPEAKER_03: Next up, we have Lesbian Thrift Store Erotica by the artist Sophie Birkin.
1:25:32
SPEAKER_03: Um, these are beautiful, almost so cute, like um medieval kind of uh cameo quality miniature paintings, uh, beautiful felted backs, hand painted uh gold uh borders.
1:25:49
SPEAKER_03: And I don't know the reference.
1:25:50
SPEAKER_03: I just when I think I know lesbians, I don't they they're always uh throwing you for a loop.
1:25:55
SPEAKER_03: And and also they're gonna throw you a silk bag.
1:25:57
SPEAKER_03: The artist is named Birkin.
1:25:59
SPEAKER_05: That silk bag.
1:26:00
SPEAKER_03: This bag is a honey bag.
1:26:02
SPEAKER_03: It's a Birkin, honey.
1:26:02
SPEAKER_03: It's a Birkin honey.
1:26:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, those are beautiful.
1:26:05
SPEAKER_03: I love how small and like just ornate they are, and like the detail is so cool.
1:26:09
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, they're gorgeous.
1:26:10
SPEAKER_03: I mean, like this feels like are these like like shrinky dinks?
1:26:13
SPEAKER_03: Like were they like made smaller?
1:26:15
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, wow.
1:26:16
SPEAKER_03: Wow, beautiful.
1:26:17
SPEAKER_03: If you don't pull, I might steal them.
1:26:19
SPEAKER_03: So you better get in there.
1:26:20
SPEAKER_03: You gotta get in that bird.
1:26:22
SPEAKER_03: I eat a Thanksgiving bird a day.
1:26:24
SPEAKER_05: Wowie! Sophia M.
1:26:27
SPEAKER_05: Congrats on your first Birkenbag and teeny set of ornaments.
1:26:30
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:26:31
SPEAKER_03: These are beautiful, dude.
1:26:32
SPEAKER_03: They're so beautiful.
1:26:32
SPEAKER_03: Did you have like I'm jealous in your family's I'd bet on this.
1:26:35
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:26:35
SPEAKER_03: If you had in your family's ornament setup, did you have like little ones like this?
1:26:39
SPEAKER_03: Like a little like No, but there is a tiny frame of like just my nana's head.
1:26:44
SPEAKER_03: That's beautiful.
1:26:45
SPEAKER_03: It's like we all want it.
1:26:46
SPEAKER_03: Because it's like, who printed and framed that?
1:26:49
SPEAKER_03: It's really crazy.
1:26:50
SPEAKER_03: No one knows.
1:26:50
SPEAKER_03: It's decapitation, but make it our you need when you're making your own tree.
1:26:55
SPEAKER_03: You need to have um, you need to play play with scale like this.
1:26:57
SPEAKER_03: You need small ornaments, you need big ones.
1:26:59
SPEAKER_03: You want to know what's funny?
1:27:00
SPEAKER_03: I hate decorating a tree.
1:27:01
SPEAKER_03: Really?
1:27:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:27:02
SPEAKER_03: It to me it feels very meditative.
1:27:04
SPEAKER_03: It's so boring.
1:27:05
SPEAKER_03: It's so there's nothing more boring.
1:27:08
SPEAKER_03: I love ornaments.
1:27:09
SPEAKER_03: I love designing a tree, but like wrap it up.
1:27:12
SPEAKER_03: Someone, I need a staff to do that shit.
1:27:14
SPEAKER_03: All right, L to the nizzle.
1:27:16
SPEAKER_03: Let's move on to the next.
1:27:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:27:18
SPEAKER_03: Thank you very much.
1:27:18
SPEAKER_03: Bring out the next ornament.
1:27:20
SPEAKER_03: This is stunning.
1:27:21
SPEAKER_03: That is gorgeous.
1:27:22
SPEAKER_03: Okay, we have another we have a new one.
1:27:24
SPEAKER_03: Uh, we have Ursula's Lipstick by the artist Carter Harrington.
1:27:28
SPEAKER_03: Now, this is this is like uh cosplay levels of gorgeous nerd fantasy tentacle faggotry.
1:27:38
SPEAKER_03: It's also a little bit like stylized in that it's like it's been commercialized in that it's kind of giving a bit of a MAC sort of component.
1:27:46
SPEAKER_05: It's giving Maca I think Ursula Pinch is like an urchin or something.
1:27:50
SPEAKER_03: It's like a yeah kind of thing.
1:27:52
SPEAKER_03: It's very C C like creature.
1:27:54
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:27:54
SPEAKER_03: But this is giving MAC and I'm not sure.
1:27:56
SPEAKER_03: Now that's a lot of product from uh one single component.
1:27:59
SPEAKER_03: If you If you were buying that lipstick, that would be a lot of bang for your buck.
1:28:02
SPEAKER_05: It's giving poor unfortunate soul.
1:28:04
SPEAKER_05: It's giving everything.
1:28:06
SPEAKER_05: I'm addicted.
1:28:07
SPEAKER_05: I love Ursula.
1:28:07
SPEAKER_05: I love The Little Mermaid.
1:28:09
SPEAKER_03: It's my second favorite Disney movie.
1:28:10
SPEAKER_03: Don't even get me started on the live action makeup for on Melissa McCarthy.
1:28:14
SPEAKER_03: I was gonna say really offensive.
1:28:16
SPEAKER_03: If that lipstick was ever ever touched Melissa's lips, it feels like that might be a little bit more uh draggy and incredible than it was really offensive because Ursula, hello, she's a drag icon and she's known for her the stamped mug.
1:28:32
SPEAKER_03: Truly.
1:28:32
SPEAKER_03: So to have some straight guy sort of stencil on eyebrows that still ended up being uneven um really offended some people, like myself.
1:28:40
SPEAKER_03: But um luckily this exists, which is making me forget about that Travis.
1:28:46
SPEAKER_03: That it it almost makes up for it.
1:28:47
SPEAKER_03: It's bringing me back to the animation, and that's what I need in a post-live action uh Little Mermaid World.
1:28:53
SPEAKER_03: And the winner of this incredible one-of-a-kind ornament is again, Paul D.
1:28:58
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:28:59
SPEAKER_03: Another double win.
1:29:05
SPEAKER_03: Sorry, that's my Ursula laugh.
1:29:06
SPEAKER_03: I had to.
1:29:07
SPEAKER_03: That's jumbo Ursula.
1:29:08
SPEAKER_03: Thank you.
1:29:08
SPEAKER_03: That's what she gets big.
1:29:10
SPEAKER_03: Which uh, you know, if you if you made this and you bit on it, you know she gets big.
1:29:14
SPEAKER_03: You know she grows.
1:29:14
SPEAKER_03: My poor little poopsie.
1:29:16
SPEAKER_03: Who doesn't want a triton in the stomach?
1:29:18
SPEAKER_03: It wasn't a triton, it was the ship.
1:29:19
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it was the ship.
1:29:20
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, you're canceled, you're you're done.
1:29:22
SPEAKER_03: You're canceled.
1:29:23
SPEAKER_03: Wait, I could talk about Ursula's lipstick for 10 hours.
1:29:26
SPEAKER_03: As you should.
1:29:27
SPEAKER_03: Is a prompt.
1:29:29
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:29:31
SPEAKER_03: Oh, Jesus Christ.
1:29:34
SPEAKER_03: It's carved.
1:29:35
SPEAKER_03: Truly, truly, truly insane.
1:29:37
SPEAKER_03: This is an ornament by artist Annalise Capucella.
1:29:40
SPEAKER_03: This is carved wood.
1:29:42
SPEAKER_03: This is an overhead projector and screen and transparency.
1:29:46
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:29:47
SPEAKER_04: Is that a teeny dry erase marker?
1:29:48
SPEAKER_03: Teeny dry erase marker.
1:29:50
SPEAKER_03: My God.
1:29:50
SPEAKER_03: That should be its own ornament.
1:29:52
SPEAKER_03: It's giving time test.
1:29:53
SPEAKER_03: It's giving time tests.
1:29:54
SPEAKER_03: It's giving uh uh earth science class, it's giving social studies, it's giving cool S.
1:29:59
SPEAKER_03: It's giving rainbow.
1:30:00
SPEAKER_03: This is truly gorgeous.
1:30:02
SPEAKER_05: Rumor has it.
1:30:02
SPEAKER_05: It's hand carved.
1:30:03
SPEAKER_05: Hand carved, Mama.
1:30:05
SPEAKER_03: Again, if you know what this is, you would understand that the transparency has the same drawing that you're seeing on the projector screen.
1:30:12
SPEAKER_03: It's the cool S, it's the smiley face, it's the clouds, it's the stars, it's the hearts.
1:30:15
SPEAKER_03: We love a two-piece too.
1:30:17
SPEAKER_03: They speak to one another.
1:30:18
SPEAKER_03: Think of your treescape.
1:30:19
SPEAKER_03: When you see this, think of the treescape that you're gonna make with this.
1:30:21
SPEAKER_03: This is storytelling.
1:30:22
SPEAKER_03: If I've ever This is incredible.
1:30:23
SPEAKER_03: Anyways.
1:30:24
SPEAKER_03: Anyways, pull on Matt L.
1:30:27
SPEAKER_03: Matt of the Teeny Projector.
1:30:29
SPEAKER_03: Hit up Annalise if you want more.
1:30:31
SPEAKER_03: All right, we have a new ornament, forbidding, by the artist Tura Oliveira.
1:30:35
SPEAKER_03: This is Frocchagine.
1:30:37
SPEAKER_03: This is uh inspired by the Pope saying uh faggot.
1:30:40
SPEAKER_03: Fagotry in the Vatican.
1:30:41
SPEAKER_03: Yes, there's an air of fagotry in the Vatican, yeah.
1:30:47
SPEAKER_03: Inspired by Jean Paul Gautier.
1:30:48
SPEAKER_03: This is a goatier bottle of protein.
1:30:50
SPEAKER_03: We've got ass, we've got titties, we've got abs, we've got pope papal uh uh crown.
1:30:55
SPEAKER_03: La popa.
1:30:56
SPEAKER_03: We got I don't know what it's jutting out here.
1:30:59
SPEAKER_04: Maybe a little pregnant, maybe a little Gina pregnant.
1:31:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:31:02
SPEAKER_03: We have that in common.
1:31:04
SPEAKER_03: I love it.
1:31:04
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:31:05
SPEAKER_04: It's beautiful.
1:31:05
SPEAKER_03: It's glad there's an air of fagotry in the Vatican.
1:31:08
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:31:08
SPEAKER_05: Uh there's I'm like, where is it coming from?
1:31:10
SPEAKER_05: Like, what made him say it?
1:31:11
SPEAKER_03: It's coming from the top down, Mama.
1:31:13
SPEAKER_03: The Pope is like, he's like, hmm.
1:31:15
SPEAKER_03: Was it was he mad about it or he was liking it?
1:31:18
SPEAKER_03: I mean, maybe a little bit of both.
1:31:20
SPEAKER_05: There is an air of fagotry, isn't there?
1:31:22
SPEAKER_03: In the air, if you s if you spray it.
1:31:24
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, literally.
1:31:25
SPEAKER_03: Was that the joke?
1:31:25
SPEAKER_03: Oh, that's brilliant.
1:31:26
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god, an air of fagotry in your face, Mama.
1:31:30
SPEAKER_03: Atomize that.
1:31:31
SPEAKER_03: The Pope is like, um I think the Pope is like, he's kind of like spray spray walk.
1:31:34
SPEAKER_03: And then like under the the he like lifts his skirt and he's like, and then he does a signature up blend where it rains down, and then he's like, the swig won't hurt, yeah.
1:31:43
SPEAKER_03: And we'll see who's gonna swig this.
1:31:45
SPEAKER_03: Uh the winner is sometimes I go by Gina Faguti.
1:31:48
SPEAKER_03: Doug A! Doug A?
1:31:50
SPEAKER_03: Doug A?
1:31:51
SPEAKER_03: It's Doug.
1:31:52
SPEAKER_03: Doug?
1:31:53
SPEAKER_03: Doug A?
1:31:54
SPEAKER_03: Did you just read classic DO?
1:31:56
SPEAKER_03: It looked like it looks like Doug.
1:31:57
SPEAKER_03: Oh, oh yeah.
1:31:58
SPEAKER_03: It does.
1:31:59
SPEAKER_03: Doug, Greg.
1:32:01
SPEAKER_03: Doug.
1:32:02
SPEAKER_03: Doug?
1:32:03
SPEAKER_03: Doug A.
1:32:04
SPEAKER_03: Doug A.
1:32:05
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:32:06
SPEAKER_03: You can spritz spritz and walk all the way home.
1:32:08
SPEAKER_03: Beautiful.
1:32:09
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:32:10
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:32:11
SPEAKER_03: Mike is holding Plant Parenthood, which is a series of miniature ornaments by Stephanie Rudig.
1:32:17
SPEAKER_05: What kind of clay is this?
1:32:18
SPEAKER_03: It feels like maybe Sculpi, uh, that that like uh was air cured.
1:32:23
SPEAKER_03: Groyed sculpted for sure.
1:32:25
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing fingerprints in a good way.
1:32:27
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:32:27
SPEAKER_03: I'm seeing notes of whispers of glitter here and there.
1:32:32
SPEAKER_03: We love the light beautifully.
1:32:33
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:32:33
SPEAKER_03: Again, you gotta think of your treescape because like you could pepper these up from like the bottom to the top, and like the eye will travel and you'll catch one, two, three, four.
1:32:40
SPEAKER_03: And it's like that's a series, you know?
1:32:42
SPEAKER_03: It's gonna you know it's it's all about rhythm, it's about color, it's about it's about composition and pattern.
1:32:46
SPEAKER_03: It's beautiful.
1:32:46
SPEAKER_03: And Stephanie Eastlade, it's amazing.
1:32:49
SPEAKER_03: Okay, I'll put my hand in the turkey.
1:32:50
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, thank you.
1:32:51
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty.
1:32:54
SPEAKER_03: Melissa G.
1:32:55
SPEAKER_03: Melissa G, Melissa Gorga?
1:32:57
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:32:58
SPEAKER_03: From Real Housework New Jersey.
1:33:01
SPEAKER_03: Amazing, plant parents.
1:33:02
SPEAKER_03: Melissa, I don't know what's going on with your season, but hopefully um you come back next time.
1:33:06
SPEAKER_05: Melissa G.
1:33:07
SPEAKER_05: Uh, I'm happy you won these because I I know how much you wanted them.
1:33:11
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I can tell, just based on like the energy in this ticket, I can tell you have been eyeing these for a while.
1:33:17
SPEAKER_03: These are going to a good home.
1:33:18
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
1:33:19
SPEAKER_03: And I'm guessing White Tree.
1:33:21
SPEAKER_03: On to the next.
1:33:22
SPEAKER_03: All right.
1:33:22
SPEAKER_03: Uh, next up, we have a piece from the artist Joshua David McKinney.
1:33:29
SPEAKER_03: This is the petite pink poodle pigeon doll from his pigeon doll line of custom dolls.
1:33:35
SPEAKER_03: I mean, they are looking 100% customized.
1:33:38
SPEAKER_03: This is an incredible piece.
1:33:41
SPEAKER_03: This is a hot item.
1:33:42
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:33:42
SPEAKER_03: This turkey is packed with thickets.
1:33:44
SPEAKER_03: She's wanted.
1:33:45
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that is a gorgeous, gorgeous doll.
1:33:48
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous ornament, gorgeous work of art.
1:33:51
SPEAKER_05: She is pussy.
1:33:52
SPEAKER_03: Hold her to the to the camera.
1:33:53
SPEAKER_03: We've got a face is yanked for the gods.
1:33:56
SPEAKER_03: This booty, she's padded down.
1:33:58
SPEAKER_03: This hair, everything.
1:33:59
SPEAKER_03: She's got a, I'm gonna say thigh high, but the the pant drops below the thigh high.
1:34:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:34:05
SPEAKER_03: That's not a knee boot, that's a thigh high.
1:34:06
SPEAKER_03: Sure.
1:34:07
SPEAKER_03: She's just pulling it down.
1:34:08
SPEAKER_03: The most petite little foot.
1:34:09
SPEAKER_03: Um my god.
1:34:11
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous size zero six and a half.
1:34:13
SPEAKER_03: Negative zero.
1:34:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:34:14
SPEAKER_03: Woman's six and a half.
1:34:16
SPEAKER_03: It must be nice.
1:34:16
SPEAKER_03: Look at the hanging hardware.
1:34:18
SPEAKER_03: That coal.
1:34:19
SPEAKER_03: Now, this is where it gets really fucking that's twisted.
1:34:23
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, yeah.
1:34:24
SPEAKER_03: That's a twist in time.
1:34:25
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:34:25
SPEAKER_03: If I've ever dealt with one.
1:34:27
SPEAKER_03: And wow, that's cunt.
1:34:28
SPEAKER_03: That little coil back there, that is pervy.
1:34:31
SPEAKER_03: This is both pervy and demure, and that's really hard to hit.
1:34:34
SPEAKER_03: It's incredibly difficult needle to thread.
1:34:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:34:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, it's really hard to land there, and you did, and she is giving everything.
1:34:42
SPEAKER_03: She is leggy, she's long.
1:34:44
SPEAKER_03: Shh, I I want to say she's a 5'11 poodle.
1:34:47
SPEAKER_03: That, you know, if this was life size, she's 5'11.
1:34:51
SPEAKER_03: That's an amazing.
1:34:52
SPEAKER_03: She's a fashion croakie.
1:34:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:34:54
SPEAKER_03: It's a beautiful garment, it's a beautiful wig, it's a beautiful mug.
1:34:57
SPEAKER_03: When your dog comes to life and slays.
1:34:59
SPEAKER_03: That Molly wishes.
1:35:01
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, she does.
1:35:02
SPEAKER_03: This is like girl on the ghosies.
1:35:05
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:35:05
SPEAKER_03: No, she's she's Molly.
1:35:07
SPEAKER_03: Dog becomes humanoid, model, and and books all the ghosies.
1:35:11
SPEAKER_03: You know?
1:35:12
SPEAKER_03: And leaves home and doesn't acknowledge you.
1:35:14
SPEAKER_03: And says, don't wait up.
1:35:16
SPEAKER_03: You bitch.
1:35:17
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:35:17
SPEAKER_03: The cat eye, the snatchy fucking nose.
1:35:21
SPEAKER_03: Dear God.
1:35:22
SPEAKER_03: I see why this turkey is packed.
1:35:24
SPEAKER_03: It's special.
1:35:24
SPEAKER_03: That's special.
1:35:25
SPEAKER_03: It's a gorgeous, gorgeous.
1:35:27
SPEAKER_03: Can I hold it?
1:35:27
SPEAKER_03: Who knew?
1:35:28
SPEAKER_03: No.
1:35:29
SPEAKER_03: You can't.
1:35:30
SPEAKER_05: Only a queen can.
1:35:32
SPEAKER_03: You can touch it.
1:35:36
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:35:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:35:37
SPEAKER_03: It's everything you want in a humanoid poodle.
1:35:39
SPEAKER_03: It's everything you want in your 5'11 dog that's been shrunken down.
1:35:43
SPEAKER_03: Now walk.
1:35:44
SPEAKER_03: You better work, bitch.
1:35:45
SPEAKER_03: Now, do you think she does a catwalk or a horse walk?
1:35:48
SPEAKER_03: No, I think it's like very like um like uh fetish, fetish pinuppy, like little, like tiny steps.
1:35:54
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:35:54
SPEAKER_03: Oh, why don't you pull?
1:35:55
SPEAKER_03: Queen's pull.
1:35:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:35:56
SPEAKER_03: This is a hot commodity.
1:35:58
SPEAKER_03: And this is a hot bird.
1:36:00
SPEAKER_03: My God.
1:36:01
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:36:02
SPEAKER_03: Packed with gravy.
1:36:04
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:36:04
SPEAKER_03: All right.
1:36:05
SPEAKER_05: I'm scared because like I know they all want it.
1:36:06
SPEAKER_05: Congratulations, Jeremy R.
1:36:09
SPEAKER_03: Jeremy R.
1:36:10
SPEAKER_03: You are the owner.
1:36:11
SPEAKER_03: We can't say your last name because you're you're um a target.
1:36:15
SPEAKER_03: About to be in trouble.
1:36:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:36:16
SPEAKER_03: This is really, really wanted.
1:36:18
SPEAKER_03: So congratulations.
1:36:20
SPEAKER_03: Your tree just got cunt.
1:36:21
SPEAKER_03: Slay.
1:36:22
SPEAKER_03: Uh next up we have Shania Twain's favorite treat by the artist Daria Alton.
1:36:28
SPEAKER_03: Uh, this is a bit of a play on concepts.
1:36:32
SPEAKER_03: It's referencing one of her songs where she says, fix me my favorite treat.
1:36:36
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:36:37
SPEAKER_03: Well, there's room for interpretation.
1:36:38
SPEAKER_03: She never says what it is.
1:36:39
SPEAKER_03: But Daria said, uh, it's cheese curls.
1:36:42
SPEAKER_03: And uh, as you can see on the ornament, it says, Let's go curls.
1:36:46
SPEAKER_03: Each one of these curls, these beautiful handmade glittered curls.
1:36:51
SPEAKER_03: Shania doesn't not love cheese curls.
1:36:53
SPEAKER_03: Who could say?
1:36:54
SPEAKER_03: She has they each have a tiny uh glittered cowboy hat.
1:36:57
SPEAKER_03: Uh Daria, I remember this is giving like a jax cheese curl, you know, which is really, really good.
1:37:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:37:03
SPEAKER_03: And it's crispy and good and not like a Cheeto.
1:37:07
SPEAKER_03: It's a Jax to me.
1:37:09
SPEAKER_03: And I don't know I don't know.
1:37:10
SPEAKER_03: And I want to say it's like the tallest ornament we've had so far.
1:37:12
SPEAKER_03: So it's giving you a lot of vertical height on your tree.
1:37:15
SPEAKER_03: Um, I also truly appreciate it's a it's an orange cheese curl with uh something of a yellowy green glitter.
1:37:22
SPEAKER_03: So you're getting that contrast in the reflex.
1:37:26
SPEAKER_03: Truly, yeah.
1:37:26
SPEAKER_03: The texture is spot on.
1:37:28
SPEAKER_05: I knew they all had a green shift.
1:37:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and that's going in your belly, uh, isn't it?
1:37:32
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:37:33
SPEAKER_03: Custom letter printing on the sashes.
1:37:35
SPEAKER_03: It's it's uh the this detail.
1:37:37
SPEAKER_03: It's a showstopper.
1:37:38
SPEAKER_03: It's an OMG showstopper.
1:37:39
SPEAKER_03: This humor and craft is is uh truly gonna catch someone's eye and be uh uh uh standout in someone's home.
1:37:46
SPEAKER_03: I wonder who likes the long ones.
1:37:48
SPEAKER_03: Let's see about this.
1:37:50
SPEAKER_03: Alrighty.
1:37:51
SPEAKER_03: Let's go, curl.
1:37:54
SPEAKER_03: Kitty A! Kitty A.
1:37:56
SPEAKER_03: I feel like that's a that's a maybe a third time.
1:37:57
SPEAKER_03: Wow, kitty.
1:37:58
SPEAKER_03: Wow, kitty.
1:37:59
SPEAKER_03: You're you are gonna be writing these off uh uh for tax deductions in 2024.
1:38:05
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, kitty, curl it up.
1:38:07
SPEAKER_04: Curl.
1:38:08
SPEAKER_03: Okay, wow.
1:38:08
SPEAKER_03: We have a special one.
1:38:09
SPEAKER_03: This is uh so beautiful the amount of detail in this.
1:38:13
SPEAKER_03: This is called Queer Quarters by our friend Jen Whitney.
1:38:16
SPEAKER_03: Actually, wow, like it's all made of paper and it's inspired by by the artist Jack Joe.
1:38:23
SPEAKER_03: This is in amazing.
1:38:24
SPEAKER_03: So crazy, Jen.
1:38:25
SPEAKER_03: You really snap.
1:38:27
SPEAKER_05: It's detailed, it's so pretty.
1:38:30
SPEAKER_05: Literally, I'm blown away, Jen.
1:38:32
SPEAKER_03: You should be locked up for your genius.
1:38:35
SPEAKER_03: But there's also there's there's three-dimensional space in this very small ornament.
1:38:40
SPEAKER_03: You we've got uh uh lava lamp in the foreground, then a curtain, then a bed, and then and then the background.
1:38:45
SPEAKER_03: The the level of of detail is just incredible.
1:38:48
SPEAKER_03: It's it looks like we have a one-eyed alien queer.
1:38:52
SPEAKER_03: Love that, love it, who's just naked, ass up.
1:38:55
SPEAKER_03: We love ass up, we love a lava lamp.
1:38:57
SPEAKER_03: Those quarters a drape.
1:39:00
SPEAKER_03: And then then also the frame that it's in, it's not rectangular, queer shape.
1:39:03
SPEAKER_03: It's it's beveled.
1:39:04
SPEAKER_03: It's a queer shape.
1:39:04
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, that's incredibly queer.
1:39:06
SPEAKER_03: That could go up someone's ass.
1:39:07
SPEAKER_03: Um it's great.
1:39:08
SPEAKER_03: And it should.
1:39:09
SPEAKER_03: And we're about to find out whose ass is going up right now.
1:39:12
SPEAKER_03: Bottom's up.
1:39:13
SPEAKER_03: We love ass up.
1:39:14
SPEAKER_03: The winner.
1:39:15
SPEAKER_03: Wow, I'm so impressed.
1:39:16
SPEAKER_03: Jen Whitney's incredibly gorgeous ornament.
1:39:18
SPEAKER_03: Immaculate craft.
1:39:19
SPEAKER_03: That's wild.
1:39:20
SPEAKER_03: This looks like laser cut.
1:39:22
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:39:22
SPEAKER_03: Perfection is just beyond.
1:39:24
SPEAKER_03: I think it's just it's just paper, colored paper.
1:39:26
SPEAKER_03: Stun.
1:39:27
SPEAKER_03: Stun.
1:39:27
SPEAKER_03: And the winner taking this home is Doug S.
1:39:30
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Doug S.
1:39:31
SPEAKER_03: This is this is uh this is again I see your bid, Doug.
1:39:34
SPEAKER_03: You got good taste.
1:39:35
SPEAKER_03: Again, this is another like um all-year-rounder, I would say.
1:39:38
SPEAKER_03: Put that on a curio shelf.
1:39:40
SPEAKER_03: Yes, this should be on display 247, because it's cool that it's not so Christmassy, you know, or holiday.
1:39:46
SPEAKER_03: But I would love to see that on my tree.
1:39:47
SPEAKER_03: That would be or any tree outdoors.
1:39:50
SPEAKER_03: I want this on uh my mantle when I have one.
1:39:52
SPEAKER_03: One day.
1:39:53
SPEAKER_03: Next, Alex McCargar, Mama, you slayed this.
1:39:57
SPEAKER_03: This is gay zebo.
1:39:58
SPEAKER_03: This is truly, I'm gonna say handcrafted basswood, balsa wood, miniature gazebo structure.
1:40:06
SPEAKER_03: We've got a flocked snow roof with uh ferns and palm trees and succulents, balls, big big, big balls, big, big balls of balls.
1:40:14
SPEAKER_03: And rainbow colors from the top.
1:40:16
SPEAKER_03: This is we love the tropics, you know?
1:40:18
SPEAKER_03: Like And tropics in winter, mama.
1:40:20
SPEAKER_03: That's exactly that's nuance.
1:40:22
SPEAKER_03: Who doesn't love a little mix up with the greenery that you're using?
1:40:27
SPEAKER_03: Wild.
1:40:28
SPEAKER_03: How did the like iron uh what is that made of?
1:40:31
SPEAKER_03: Is it paper?
1:40:32
SPEAKER_03: No, I think it might be a um uh it's even like antiqued.
1:40:37
SPEAKER_03: Like the metal, the ironwork has bits of like chipped paint in there to show that it's real iron that's been painted white and has aged over the years because this gazebo has been around.
1:40:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:40:49
SPEAKER_03: This has lived some life, some good blowjobs have been given in this chair.
1:40:53
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:40:54
SPEAKER_03: This this is so good.
1:40:56
SPEAKER_03: And uh, and we've been informed that you could put a miniature character who is to scale on the chair.
1:41:01
SPEAKER_03: So if you have your own collection, or if you're playing to make someone, exactly.
1:41:07
SPEAKER_03: Maybe it will inspire you to uh sculpt.
1:41:10
SPEAKER_03: Sculpt a miniature gina.
1:41:12
SPEAKER_05: Um miniature gina, yeah.
1:41:14
SPEAKER_05: Sit her on the I need to be in here, I need to be in the blowjob chair in the gayzebo.
1:41:18
SPEAKER_05: It's it's fucking awesome.
1:41:19
SPEAKER_03: The eye travels, you know, because it goes from the chair to ferns to snow to dots to everything.
1:41:23
SPEAKER_03: It's just like it's it's a entire world in and of itself.
1:41:26
SPEAKER_03: Jesus.
1:41:27
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:41:27
SPEAKER_03: We're drooling.
1:41:28
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:41:29
SPEAKER_03: And we're about to find out who's gonna be fucking drooling on this in their own home.
1:41:34
SPEAKER_03: This is up there on the tree.
1:41:35
SPEAKER_03: That could be a topper.
1:41:36
SPEAKER_03: It's high up high branch.
1:41:37
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:41:37
SPEAKER_03: It's on, you know, you don't put this on the bottom of your tree.
1:41:40
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:41:40
SPEAKER_03: We have Melissa G is the winner of this.
1:41:43
SPEAKER_03: Another, another double, another double winner.
1:41:45
SPEAKER_03: Good taste, Melissa.
1:41:45
SPEAKER_03: I'm liking what you're bidding on.
1:41:47
SPEAKER_03: I see you, and I am happy that you're winning tonight.
1:41:49
SPEAKER_03: It feels like maybe we're like not pulling correctly, but no, it's because you guys have bid so much on all of these that it's like, because that just speaks to the quality of the ornaments.
1:41:56
SPEAKER_03: It's an amazing, amazing pool of the city.
1:41:58
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations.
1:41:59
SPEAKER_03: You're gonna love it.
1:41:59
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Melissa.
1:42:01
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:42:01
SPEAKER_03: Okay, next ornament.
1:42:03
SPEAKER_03: I am currently holding the one, the only Lexi Featherston by artist Colin Verde.
1:42:09
SPEAKER_03: And if you don't know, you you need to get out of my life.
1:42:14
SPEAKER_03: This is get out of my life.
1:42:15
SPEAKER_03: She is one of the most iconic television characters of all time.
1:42:19
SPEAKER_05: It's from Sex in the City, it's um Christian Johnson, and she makes a cameo and in one episode plays a party girl and notoriously falls out.
1:42:28
SPEAKER_03: It's out of windows.
1:42:29
SPEAKER_04: Famous last words, New York is over.
1:42:32
SPEAKER_03: And this ornament says New York over as well.
1:42:35
SPEAKER_03: We see her ghost, and on the back we see uh the Russian and Petrovsky.
1:42:41
SPEAKER_03: Petrovsky, Petrovsky, and um and Carrie.
1:42:43
SPEAKER_05: Carrie, yeah.
1:42:44
SPEAKER_03: Carrying in fear.
1:42:45
SPEAKER_03: Sarah Jessica, she she's always so like believable in her choices.
1:42:49
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:42:49
SPEAKER_03: Even though it's like camp and corn, but like the fear that she experienced.
1:42:53
SPEAKER_03: That's real that she felt.
1:42:54
SPEAKER_03: I think maybe that's like how she'd react.
1:42:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:42:57
SPEAKER_03: But it's such an iconic scene.
1:43:00
SPEAKER_03: I literally um want them to write a twin for Lexi for and just like.
1:43:05
SPEAKER_03: She should bring her back on the show.
1:43:06
SPEAKER_03: They should, yeah.
1:43:07
SPEAKER_05: And just like that, bring Kristen Johnson back as like a weird twin.
1:43:09
SPEAKER_05: And have her.
1:43:10
SPEAKER_05: We've already ruined the fucking franchise.
1:43:12
SPEAKER_05: So, like, let's just have fun.
1:43:13
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, let's go.
1:43:13
SPEAKER_05: Bring Lexi back.
1:43:14
SPEAKER_05: It can be a totally different character.
1:43:15
SPEAKER_05: But she still dies a freak accident.
1:43:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:43:17
SPEAKER_03: You know, she's not a party girl.
1:43:18
SPEAKER_03: She's really like sort of a prude, but she does get severed in half.
1:43:21
SPEAKER_03: The winner.
1:43:22
SPEAKER_03: No one's in any fun anymore.
1:43:24
SPEAKER_03: I love Kristen Johnson.
1:43:25
SPEAKER_03: I read her by her for the the winner of this one of a kind.
1:43:30
SPEAKER_03: Incredible.
1:43:31
SPEAKER_03: Again, another this is a home piece.
1:43:32
SPEAKER_03: You could put this on your wall.
1:43:34
SPEAKER_03: It could be in a yeah, all you gotta do, guys.
1:43:36
SPEAKER_04: Look, uh, drop the ribbon.
1:43:38
SPEAKER_03: It's wall art.
1:43:39
SPEAKER_03: Hi.
1:43:40
SPEAKER_03: Hi.
1:43:40
SPEAKER_03: So good.
1:43:41
SPEAKER_03: Hello.
1:43:41
SPEAKER_03: Hi, wall art.
1:43:42
SPEAKER_03: Lexi, you're an icon.
1:43:44
SPEAKER_03: The winner is who the hell gets it?
1:43:45
SPEAKER_03: Holly R.
1:43:46
SPEAKER_05: Holly.
1:43:46
SPEAKER_05: Oh my god.
1:43:48
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:43:48
SPEAKER_03: It's a free bottles because I know this is huge for you.
1:43:52
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:43:53
SPEAKER_03: We have a beautiful piece by the artist Todd Carr.
1:43:56
SPEAKER_03: This is the bronze that is fished out of Lake Garda and call me by your name.
1:44:01
SPEAKER_03: We have the armholes.
1:44:02
SPEAKER_03: We have the head garland.
1:44:03
SPEAKER_03: We have the large cock.
1:44:04
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous.
1:44:05
SPEAKER_03: We love a large cock.
1:44:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:44:06
SPEAKER_03: We have abs.
1:44:07
SPEAKER_03: We have no feet.
1:44:08
SPEAKER_03: But we forgot about this plot point.
1:44:10
SPEAKER_03: It's what Timothy Chalamet's dad is like working on.
1:44:13
SPEAKER_03: He's excavating.
1:44:14
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he's excavating.
1:44:15
SPEAKER_03: It's what uh Army Hammer RIP uh is there helping him with.
1:44:19
SPEAKER_03: Famous cannibal.
1:44:21
SPEAKER_03: Uh he's um helping him fish uh hot, hunky male sculpture out of the out of the the water.
1:44:28
SPEAKER_03: And what could be more gay than water?
1:44:30
SPEAKER_03: This is great.
1:44:31
SPEAKER_03: It's heavy.
1:44:31
SPEAKER_03: This is a heavy one.
1:44:32
SPEAKER_03: So maybe you have a strong tree for this hanger.
1:44:36
SPEAKER_03: For this pattern.
1:44:37
SPEAKER_03: That's beautiful.
1:44:38
SPEAKER_03: It I would I I thought it was uh true metal, but I'm being informed it's all clay.
1:44:42
SPEAKER_03: Um so if you're an earthenware fan, hopefully you bid on this.
1:44:46
SPEAKER_03: You should be surprised.
1:44:47
SPEAKER_03: Hefty.
1:44:48
SPEAKER_03: Wow, yeah, this got some weight to it.
1:44:50
SPEAKER_03: And it's not just the gonna need a strong branch.
1:44:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I don't know.
1:44:53
SPEAKER_03: Again, that could be in a hallway, it could be um uh in a bathroom, it could be in a bedroom.
1:44:58
SPEAKER_03: And um, sure.
1:44:59
SPEAKER_03: Uh I'll I'll pull for uh on behalf of that dong.
1:45:01
SPEAKER_03: I'll pull.
1:45:02
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:45:02
SPEAKER_03: Pull that dong.
1:45:03
SPEAKER_03: Ooh, it's another full turkey.
1:45:05
SPEAKER_03: And the winner is Army H.
1:45:08
SPEAKER_03: What?
1:45:09
SPEAKER_03: Oh my gosh.
1:45:10
SPEAKER_03: Army H.
1:45:11
SPEAKER_03: Really?
1:45:11
SPEAKER_03: No.
1:45:12
SPEAKER_03: Well, like, I mean, like who knows where he is, you know?
1:45:15
SPEAKER_03: He might be bidding, you know.
1:45:16
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, now I'm no, it's Todd C.
1:45:18
SPEAKER_03: Congrats, Todd C.
1:45:19
SPEAKER_05: Todd.
1:45:20
SPEAKER_03: You are the winner of this beautiful, beautiful clay piece.
1:45:23
SPEAKER_03: Army H.
1:45:23
SPEAKER_03: Army H.
1:45:24
SPEAKER_05: Why am I so embarrassed?
1:45:25
SPEAKER_05: Where are they now?
1:45:26
SPEAKER_05: I'm like, really?
1:45:27
SPEAKER_03: Nah, he's a cannibal.
1:45:29
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, he's a fan of the pod.
1:45:30
SPEAKER_03: Oh, it's a different oh a quinky dink, guys.
1:45:33
SPEAKER_03: Uh it the the artist was a Todd C.
1:45:35
SPEAKER_03: The winner is a Todd C.
1:45:36
SPEAKER_03: It's not the same Todd C.
1:45:38
SPEAKER_03: Maybe you guys should, I don't know.
1:45:39
SPEAKER_03: Doc?
1:45:40
SPEAKER_03: Doc.
1:45:41
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:45:42
SPEAKER_03: Very Italian.
1:45:43
SPEAKER_03: All right.
1:45:45
SPEAKER_03: Final ornament.
1:45:46
SPEAKER_03: Woo! Oh my god.
1:45:48
SPEAKER_03: Wow, what a great um holiday special.
1:45:52
SPEAKER_03: Gorgeous, gorgeous looks, giant headpieces, painful, painful earrings, uh, elf ears that would not stay on.
1:46:00
SPEAKER_03: No, an ugly, ugly mug.
1:46:02
SPEAKER_03: And a beautiful turkey.
1:46:04
SPEAKER_03: The turkey's a showstopper.
1:46:06
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:46:06
SPEAKER_03: Fam.
1:46:07
SPEAKER_03: It's the last ornament and it's it's garnering a lot of attention.
1:46:11
SPEAKER_03: This is another Greg Kozatec original.
1:46:13
SPEAKER_03: Original.
1:46:14
SPEAKER_03: There's only it's this is one of one, not one of three, like the cakes.
1:46:18
SPEAKER_03: This is uh truly special.
1:46:21
SPEAKER_03: This is a shoebox full of playbills.
1:46:24
SPEAKER_03: Uh I'm gonna say this is one 20th scale, maybe, 12th scale, who knows?
1:46:30
SPEAKER_03: But it's a pink Nike shoebox stuffed full of I'm seeing Hamilton, I'm seeing Wicked, I'm seeing Phantom, I'm seeing Lay Miz, I'm seeing Mamma Mia, I'm seeing cats, I'm seeing Rent, I'm seeing Lion King.
1:46:42
SPEAKER_03: This is the last 30 years of the biggest hits of Broadway.
1:46:46
SPEAKER_03: And you want to see the most faggot detail of all?
1:46:49
SPEAKER_03: It's the tiny two-scale shoebox text on the side?
1:46:54
SPEAKER_03: That's a size?
1:46:55
SPEAKER_03: It says in like the shoe detail?
1:46:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, take a look.
1:46:57
SPEAKER_03: That is Oh my god, Greg.
1:46:58
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:47:00
SPEAKER_03: Greg.
1:47:00
SPEAKER_03: You're fired.
1:47:01
SPEAKER_03: You little bitch.
1:47:02
SPEAKER_03: And I bet there's text.
1:47:04
SPEAKER_03: And there's text inside the playbills, too.
1:47:06
SPEAKER_03: You fucking evil.
1:47:08
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:47:09
SPEAKER_05: This is out of control.
1:47:11
SPEAKER_03: I bet every page is ha is full of text.
1:47:14
SPEAKER_03: Oh my god.
1:47:16
SPEAKER_03: This is wait, I missed two.
1:47:18
SPEAKER_03: Hold on.
1:47:18
SPEAKER_03: Wait.
1:47:19
SPEAKER_03: We have we also have two on the sides.
1:47:20
SPEAKER_03: Oh the line came.
1:47:21
SPEAKER_03: That's line can put on the colour.
1:47:22
SPEAKER_03: But we have we have uh no, we have s sweet sweetie Todd, and then what's that one?
1:47:30
SPEAKER_03: Fiddler?
1:47:30
SPEAKER_03: Oh, of course.
1:47:32
SPEAKER_03: Um No O'Mary.
1:47:33
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:47:34
SPEAKER_03: Hmm.
1:47:36
SPEAKER_03: Sorry.
1:47:38
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:47:38
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:47:39
SPEAKER_03: This is um and the backs of the playables are printed.
1:47:42
SPEAKER_05: And like the again, the nuance in choosing like a pink Nike like girl shoebox.
1:47:47
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, and then just a beautiful, just like casual throwaway detail of like the hook.
1:47:51
SPEAKER_03: It's just like, you know, like this the hook even has some personality.
1:47:54
SPEAKER_03: It's like one of those.
1:47:56
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, this hangs as well.
1:47:57
SPEAKER_05: It just juts forward.
1:47:58
SPEAKER_05: It says, look at me.
1:47:59
SPEAKER_05: Wow, that is seriously so, so, so good.
1:48:02
SPEAKER_05: You're messed up.
1:48:03
SPEAKER_05: You're messed up.
1:48:03
SPEAKER_05: You're second twisted.
1:48:05
SPEAKER_03: Such a genius.
1:48:06
SPEAKER_03: But I want to say this looks beautiful in the couch.
1:48:07
SPEAKER_03: It really, yeah.
1:48:08
SPEAKER_03: It does.
1:48:11
SPEAKER_03: She's she can come anytime.
1:48:14
SPEAKER_03: Got it.
1:48:14
SPEAKER_03: Okay.
1:48:14
SPEAKER_03: Got the shot.
1:48:15
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:48:16
SPEAKER_03: I mean, someone is going to go home a lucky, lucky ornament owner.
1:48:20
SPEAKER_03: You could sell this for like$9 million.
1:48:23
SPEAKER_03: So much show.
1:48:24
SPEAKER_03: Pull, Gina.
1:48:25
SPEAKER_03: We'll see.
1:48:25
SPEAKER_03: Gina's touch is gonna make someone very happy.
1:48:28
SPEAKER_03: Who's the last?
1:48:30
SPEAKER_01: Who's the lucky last?
1:48:31
SPEAKER_03: Who's the lucky last?
1:48:32
SPEAKER_03: Who's the lucky last?
1:48:33
SPEAKER_03: Who's the lucky last?
1:48:34
SPEAKER_03: Jana E.
1:48:36
SPEAKER_03: Jana E.
1:48:37
SPEAKER_03: Jana E.
1:48:37
SPEAKER_03: Wow.
1:48:38
SPEAKER_03: Jana E.
1:48:38
SPEAKER_03: Congrats.
1:48:39
SPEAKER_03: Janet E.
1:48:40
SPEAKER_03: I hope you are a Broadway lover.
1:48:41
SPEAKER_03: I hope you are a crafty.
1:48:42
SPEAKER_03: You better be a huge nerd.
1:48:43
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:48:44
SPEAKER_03: Uh this is a generational hammy.
1:48:46
SPEAKER_03: Literally.
1:48:46
SPEAKER_05: That's something you really preserve.
1:48:48
SPEAKER_03: You give this to a gay nephew or a little box.
1:48:52
SPEAKER_03: This is incredible.
1:48:52
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:48:53
SPEAKER_03: That doesn't go in the bin with the other ornaments.
1:48:55
SPEAKER_03: This stays in the drawer.
1:48:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:48:57
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:48:57
SPEAKER_03: Kids don't touch it.
1:48:58
SPEAKER_03: And then this ain't a toy.
1:49:00
SPEAKER_03: Congratulations, Jana.
1:49:01
SPEAKER_05: Thank you for rounding out our auction.
1:49:04
SPEAKER_05: Oh my God.
1:49:05
SPEAKER_05: That's the last thing.
1:49:06
SPEAKER_05: Incredible.
1:49:06
SPEAKER_03: That's the final ornament of this incredible auction for charity.
1:49:11
SPEAKER_03: 42 ornaments.
1:49:13
SPEAKER_05: How cool.
1:49:14
SPEAKER_05: Like what?
1:49:15
SPEAKER_05: Props to the artists.
1:49:16
SPEAKER_05: Props to everyone who bid.
1:49:18
SPEAKER_05: Blown away.
1:49:18
SPEAKER_05: For a good cause.
1:49:19
SPEAKER_05: How cool that we've got to do is fun this.
1:49:21
SPEAKER_03: Get to talk about it.
1:49:22
SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's just a beautiful, beautiful thing.
1:49:24
SPEAKER_03: We love it.
1:49:25
SPEAKER_03: Any final cunty thoughts?
1:49:26
SPEAKER_06: Yeah.
1:49:27
SPEAKER_05: Um Christmas is cunt.
1:49:30
SPEAKER_03: Christmas is cunt.
1:49:31
SPEAKER_03: Holidays are cunt.
1:49:31
SPEAKER_03: Count down until the new year.
1:49:34
SPEAKER_03: Coming up.
1:49:34
SPEAKER_03: The new season.
1:49:36
SPEAKER_03: Season two coming 2025.
1:49:38
SPEAKER_03: It's coming.
1:49:38
SPEAKER_03: It's going to be bigger and better and cuntier than ever.
1:49:41
SPEAKER_03: And so fun that we got to do this beforehand and just have a little one-off, a little holiday fun.
1:49:46
SPEAKER_03: We love it.
1:49:47
SPEAKER_03: We're so lucky.
1:49:48
SPEAKER_05: For the Inquiry Media and the Ali Forney Center.
1:49:51
SPEAKER_03: Thank you so much for tuning in.
1:49:52
SPEAKER_03: Yes.
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1:49:53
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1:49:54
SPEAKER_03: Support Greg.
1:49:55
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SPEAKER_03: Yeah, support us if while you're at it.
1:49:58
SPEAKER_05: While you're clicking the surprise.
1:49:59
SPEAKER_03: If you're feeling charitable, yeah.
1:50:00
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1:50:01
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1:50:03
SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
1:50:03
SPEAKER_03: Love you all.
1:50:04
SPEAKER_03: Love you.
1:50:05
SPEAKER_03: Happy holidays.
1:50:06
SPEAKER_03: Happy holidays.
1:50:07
SPEAKER_03: Out to yours.
1:50:08
SPEAKER_03: See you next.
1:50:10
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:50:10
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:50:11
SPEAKER_03: Next.
1:50:12
SPEAKER_03: Next Tuesday.
1:50:13
SPEAKER_03: Maybe.
1:50:14
SPEAKER_03: God willing.
1:50:16
SPEAKER_04: Angel out.