Latest / Live From Your Heart / Episode 6 - How To Hear Your Heart Again

Transcript

Episode 6 - How To Hear Your Heart Again · Live From Your Heart

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Foreign.
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Welcome to Live from your heart. I'm your host,
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Les Paul Klein. For three
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decades of my life, I've lived trying
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to get others approval,
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not the truth. I lived to be accepted.
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But I wasn't real, authentic. And what did it
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cost me? Pieces of myself, over and over.
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I didn't realize I was even losing those pieces.
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This podcast, it's for anyone who knows deep down
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that they've been living someone else's version of
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their life. And they're
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ready, you're ready to come home to your own
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heart and be real and be authentic.
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Doesn't matter how old you are, doesn't matter how long
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you've been doing this, it's possible to reclaim
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your own heart. So every week we're going to talk about
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reclaiming that identity and healing old patterns and finding courage
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again. And finally living from the truest and most grounded
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place inside of you, your heart. This isn't
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therapy. It's not self help. It's just a real huge invitation for
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you to come and learn how to live a
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real life from your own heart.
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So let's jump in.
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If you've ever said, I don't even know
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what I feel anymore,
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this episode's for you. Yeah,
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I don't want to. I don't know what I feel anymore.
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I remember a time,
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Some several years later,
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after I made my decision
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to live from my own heart.
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And I had gone
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through a divorce. That's a whole story in and of itself.
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There was a time and a place where I'm
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single again and I'm
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in a new city trying
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to find myself.
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I'm trying to find my heart.
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And I.
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I found myself in a place where I
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didn't know what to feel.
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I knew, looking back,
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I should have felt something,
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but I didn't know what to feel. I was so
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lost in this.
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It was a process that I was going through.
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And honestly, this is really kind of what took place.
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I was moving
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from a false self to
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find my real self and live from
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my own heart. And not a life that
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was mapped out and dictated by my
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parents. And so I'd
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always trusted them. So now I don't anymore. I'm not
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trusting that feeling anymore. And I was
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confronted with this guilt and this shame over
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some choices that I had made around my family,
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my wife, and going through divorce.
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And I found myself in a city in the middle
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of the country where.
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There was a church and a pastor who
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was familiar with my father.
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Oh, yeah. So you know exactly what I did.
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You could almost write the story. So I went to see this pastor
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and I gave him the bulk of my story.
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And I guess the
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reason I went, I was looking for answers in
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the places that I'd always sought answers.
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And for me, that always been God
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and the church that I grew up in. But here's the problem
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that I, I didn't calculate
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was I had moved away from trusting
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that church. And as I said in
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a previous podcast, you know, my father really represented God
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to me because he was not only my dad, but he was also
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the figurehead of who God was to me.
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And that's much like what many people experience.
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It's not unusual. So I went to
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see this guy and oh
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my gosh, when he got done with me and
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I walked out of that building and I got into my car,
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I can tell you I was more lost than
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when I had walked in. I had been beat
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up, I had been judged, and I
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was required to confess
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my wrongdoings and beg God
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to forgive me.
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Now, for a lot of people, you, you may be confronting what I
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just said and say, well, that's Paul. You know,
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that's kind of what the Bible says.
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I don't disagree with that statement.
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I disagree with the methodology.
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Because when Jesus in
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the Word reached
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out to the adulterous woman at the well,
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you know, what did he offer her in
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life? He didn't offer her judgment.
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He already knew.
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He already knew her and he offered
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her freedom. Well, I'm going to tell you, that day, I didn't
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get offered freedom, Okay? I was offered
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what I would call a form of control legalism.
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I was judged harshly by this man.
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And to be truthful, I was more confused
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about now what I'm feeling than ever before.
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Totally confused.
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And so I'm in this. I'm in this flux
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of, okay, I gotta find some answers. I gotta find some answers.
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I. I've gotta find somebody somewhere that
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will listen to me. And I
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met this lady at a employment
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agency in. I was actually
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doing. They hired me to do temp work. You know,
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they'd send you out on temp job. And I did a bunch of temp jobs
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for them. I learned it's a great way to fill your days and
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make money while you try to figure out what it is you're going to become
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when you grow up. But I found
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immediately somebody that I
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had a heart connection to. I mean, and the day I
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was in there, this lady, she was a salesperson for this
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company. She came out into the lobby, she sat down with me and
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her Empathy and her care.
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She sensed in my spirit the
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angst that I was in. And she
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met me where I was. Yeah, I was like this
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lost little puppy that she's rescuing from the cold.
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And honestly,
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she literally invited me into
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her world. And I
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found a safe place to
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verbalize all the things that I was going
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through and experiencing. And it was met with
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love and compassion, not with judgment
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and harshness. And at that moment,
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I realized there are other people in this world who are
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thinking and feeling what I've been thinking and feeling,
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and I'm finding common ground.
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And so she became a real anchor for
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me. And honestly,
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it hadn't been for her, I would have not gotten. I wouldn't have gotten through
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those days and weeks and months to come and
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discovering what
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my heart was really.
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So our hearts, they don't speak in
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words. They speak in alignment.
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And that's exactly what I began to find was
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alignment. Okay,
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I want to say some things about the heart and
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the mind right here, because these are some
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of the things that I experienced. My mind was
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afraid, but my
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heart knew what was true. My mind was afraid.
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I was fearful, I was panicked. I was running,
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I was searching. But my heart knew what was true.
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I just had to find a place where it was safe to
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open up my heart and to
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learn how to live from it. My mind has
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logic, okay? There's a logical process.
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I was born into a logical process.
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Didn't mean it was right, but it was the process. I was raised
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with 200,000 hours of parenting tapes,
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but my heart is going to give me direction.
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So the heart and the mind many times are in
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conflict, and.
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And we've got to spend enough time sitting
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with it until we
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hear our heart and find the direction
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that we're supposed to move into. So how do we do
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that? This is what I did. I learned this from my
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friend, and she used the word meditation.
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And I went, freak. That's weird.
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That's cultish. I mean, that's where I
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came from. But the reality was that
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she was saying, just stop the nonsense
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around you. This is before the
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Internet, folks. This is before the cell phones, as we
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know today. I had a brick in those days as a cell phone, and we're
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talking early on so
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there weren't the electronic distractions. But she's like,
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pause and listen. And she said, I want to show
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you what I do. Every day. She walked
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me through just pause in her life, and she would
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journal about what she was hearing.
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I was blown away, I gotta tell you. I was
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Absolutely blown away by
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what she was hearing and how that she spent
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enough time in silence just to hear her
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own thought. So she journaled.
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She. She shared with me days and weeks of
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journaling her journey and how she got
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here. And what I learned through this was she had been at the
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same place many years previous that I had been in
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this legalistic fundamentalist,
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Baptist theology of
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works orientation to lifestyle.
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The end, um, she had gone through a divorce
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and she found no place in
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that culture because that culture
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is extremely judgmental and shunning, quite frankly.
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And so she sought out somebody
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that would care about her and love her and accept her and help
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her heal. So that's. Her journey was
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the same as mine. I was just way down the road
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behind where she had gotten.
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What she showed me was the, the honest self
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reflection. Okay, so you're silent, you're journaling,
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and now you're writing. And what you're writing,
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it's not really what
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you write, but that you write that you pour out an
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honesty on a paper or a page and
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you reflect on what is hitting that page and
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you start paying attention to where the energy is.
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You start paying attention to what excites you,
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to what motivates you, to what moves you forward,
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and you start pushing away all the negativity.
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Because I can tell you that where I came from, there was nothing but negativity,
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nothing but judgment.
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I never forget there
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was a lady that worked in the company I was running,
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and she came into my office one day. This was before this situation
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happened. She looked at me and she said, you are so sad.
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She said, and I can see your brokenness. She said,
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all the girls from the office are going out to go bowling tonight
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at a place. Why don't you come with us?
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It's like, but it's like a girl's thing. She goes,
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I think you just need us.
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So, I mean, I went and
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you know, I was confronted with things that I've
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never been confronted with in my entire life,
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but I just sat in it.
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And I'll never forget the feeling that my heart had
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at that moment. This is one of the first times that I felt this was
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a feeling of acceptance and love.
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Not a judgment for where I was,
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but just compassion for where I was.
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I mean, it's like, okay, there are people out here
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that are just normal people that my
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peer group would judge for their lifestyle, but yet
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they're asking me to, to come and they're pouring
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their love and concern out in a compassionate way
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for me because I knew I was hurt from a divorce.
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So here's the signals of your.
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These are the signals that I got. It took
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time, folks, I'm going to tell you. It took some hard work and time.
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But the first signal that I really began to
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experience was peace, not turn was
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peace. I can tell you where the turbulent was. You've already heard
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me kind of speak about it where I came from in my
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peer group. But there was peace.
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I found peace. My heart found
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peace. And then my heart began
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to pull me in a direction of clarity.
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And as my heart pulled me into that place,
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it felt comfortable.
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It didn't feel like this angst.
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And I can tell you that the peer group that I came from,
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that was always angst because I could never live up.
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But now my heart is signaling peace
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because I discover that I do
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have a God who loves me.
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He's the God of the Bible. I discovered this.
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He is the one true God.
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He's the God that has always been,
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you know, he created us.
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And as I found truth,
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I began to see God in a completely different with
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a completely different heart. So that's that
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peace began to pull this forward. The clarity began
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to ease me into a place where I
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knew who to trust. And that voice, I began to live from that voice.
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Okay.
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And at this day it's like, okay, this is
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where I need to go. This is what I need to.
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It was drawn clarity and I had to
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make some decisions. I had to, I had to completely on down the road,
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never involve myself in that community of
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legalism again and always guard my
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life that I would never let
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it back in. I can tell you I was approached and opportunities came
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later on. Opportunities came to be in ministry again in
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not in that quote unquote titled group
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but in a titled non denominational. But the undertone
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of the non denomination was the same and
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I kept myself unencumbered.
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I kept myself rooted in my heart,
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anchored to who I
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trusted. God that I was learning to trust.
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And there was a guy in our our group
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some years later and I was in back in ministry working
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with Sickle Sickle again folks. And he approached
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me and he said have you read this book Wild at Heart? I said
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I've never heard of it. He said you need to read it because
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at the point this was presented to me, I was teaching on
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Sundays and Lee about 500 single
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kid people from a completely different heart, from a completely
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different place. Boy was he right.
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I trusted what he said and forgot the book.
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And that's more of the rest of the
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story as we go forward.
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Suffice it to say, right at this point in my story,
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I began to totally and completely understand from
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the author, John Eldridge, what I had been
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experiencing for Mike. My transition
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from living from the control of
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my parents to living for my heart,
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guided by my heavenly father.
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There was a complete difference. John Eldridge wrote
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that book Wild at Heart, and it literally
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was the story that I had just
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gone through.
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So when you live from that voice and you live from your heart,
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you know what to trust first and
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you know how to act before fear shuts
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it down, you know how to
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act. This fear is always going to be a driver if you've come from
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that world, in that place. I hope that
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something I've said today on this podcast has triggered
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thoughts about your own life and your own heart.
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Hopefully to motivate you to learn to
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go through the process of how to hear your heart again.
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And if you're ready and you
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want help, that's part
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of what I do beyond this podcast, is to
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help people walk a path that I've
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walked, that I have literally coached
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others to do the same.
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You know, I don't try to get formal about my coaching,
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really try to listen to you, because listening
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is 80% of learning.
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So if this is really stirred
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you or any of my other podcasts, I hope that
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I hear from you. If you click the link
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down at the bottom in the show notes,
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you'll be able to connect to me and I'll say more about that as we
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close the show. I hope I have
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spawned something because next episode we're going to talk about the mask
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that we wear and why we hide behind them.
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That's a tough one.
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All right. Yes. Have a great blessed day. Day.
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It's Bless Paul. I'll see you again soon.
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If today's episode stirred something in you.
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That'S your heart speaking. If you're ready to go
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deeper into this work, let me invite you to come
25:42
and join me in my live from your heart coaching experience.
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It's a six month journey. I can take you back
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to the. Truth, help you learn your
25:56
real identity and uncover that
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emotional freedom that's yours to have. If you'd
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like to know more about my coaching experience live
26:08
from your heart, you'll find the link down in
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the show notes. Until next time, folks.
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Live from your heart, it's the only life that's truly