Latest / The Pork Roll, Egg, And Cheese Podcast / Mythical Creatures
Transcript
- Shamus: Hello everybody and welcome back to another episode of the Pork, Roll, Egg and Cheese Podcast. My name is Seamus and we just want to thank you guys for tuning in and listening. What's going on Herb? How you been? Herbie: And I'm your Herbie. great man just work and just chilling out hanging out with my boy Lord Shamus again so we're getting ready to do another podcast. Shamus: Yes, sir. ⁓ Somebody it's a national pajama day. Are you excited about that? Herbie: Yes. Do you have any pajamas? Shamus: Now I sleep in my pox shorts most of the time. But when I was a kid, I had a favorite. You ever have a favorite size or do you wear a pajamas? Herbie: ⁓ yes, do. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. For like holidays and stuff, I'll find a themed because I wear costumes for like my job at the hospital to like boost up the patients. ⁓ yeah. Get them all going. Yeah. I might see like a turkey running around for Thanksgiving, leprechaun, you know, for St. Patty's Day, a pink bunny. Shamus: Now I'm around. I was gonna say you do have that onesie, right? I've seen that at the snowman board. Herbie: Yeah, they're all ones. It's definitely all ones. He's got a whole whole basement full of costumes. Well, Shamus: I'm pretty sure when we were all kids, we all had the same Spider-Man. Yep. What were they? The underoos and then you had the pajamas that went with it or you had Voltron or you just had like the soccer dude or the football guys. So Herbie: ⁓ yeah Yeah, nobody really had the, what is it, Aquaman under Ruse ⁓ Shamus: I think I might have had those. Yeah. Justice League of America was big. ⁓ yeah. And the Legion of Doom used to come out of the swamp. Yeah, I used to like that. I was a big Solomon Grundy fan. I love that dude. Yeah, so I did. I might have had all that. So I had Aquaman, Spider-Man. And of course, a lot of stuff with Tammy down for my brothers because he was three or four years older than me. So whatever he had, I had. So. Yeah, ⁓ I do. ⁓ Herbie: ⁓ yeah, well yeah. I like black man, he was cool. Shamus: Not all the time. In the winter time, I'll wear like a sweatshirt, but I do have like like them fleece kind of pants like I got. I got a pair of Superman ones that just has a Superman. And then I have Smurfs. I do have Smurf fleece pants. I rock every once in while. I go out to I go out there and get my newspaper in the neighborhood. Kids are like, what? Oh, this is. Herbie: fame. You think the man's like every it's like it's. Shamus: with a shirt that just says like Medicaid me on it. Herbie: This is basically the outfit you wear to Walmart late at night or the famous pajama, pants and t-shirt combo. ⁓ Shamus: You know it Because there's sometimes I wake up in the morning and I'm like man I've have heartburn so bad like I was out, you know Maybe had a couple beers the night before got really fucking wrecked. I'm like, I gotta go get some Harper medication. Yeah, it's six o'clock Nobody will fucking see me. I'll just sneak into the wall or sev and of course as soon as you walk in it's like the hottest chick in town is standing right there and you walk in smell like you just crawl out of an ashtray full beer and fucking dog shit. Herbie: and salami. Shamus: But she was like, hi, and you're just like, oh my God. Yeah, that happened. Herbie: Yeah. I get that stuff too. Go to Walmart or something like that. Wearing the pajama pants and just looking like one of the crazy people that like to hang out there. I want to talk to your manager and try to... Shamus: Look at like who done it. Yeah You feel like the Nick Nolte mugshot. Herbie: They're like yelling at everyone because I want to return a fan that I didn't buy from there seven years ago. It doesn't want store credit but wants cash. Those outfits. Shamus: Yes, I try to steer away from pajamas But I speaking of Nick Nolte and that mythical mugshot of his today We're going to talk about some mythical creatures and what we do just to give you guys we have some guidelines for this So don't get upset if as you're listening, you're like, ⁓ you talk about you know We're not going to cover any of the holiday people like the leprechauns ⁓ The reason why we're doing mythical is because Easter just passed in our last Herbie: So. Shamus: guest we talked about Dungeons and Dragons so we kind of thought hey why not talk about some you know magical or mythical figures you know coming up so we don't want to cover the holiday guys we don't want we're not gonna do leprechauns the Easter Bunny Santa Claus no Halloween stuff no Jason or Freddy because we do have specials coming up we'll talk about that stuff there Herbie: I do got a unicorn story though. Yeah. Well, you know, cause like a lot of people now are getting into the myth of creatures about, ⁓ unicorns. did date this one girl that used to like to dress like a unicorn. that was a definitely an experience, you know, with the horn and everything in them. Shamus: ⁓ yeah. No, is that? Is that, is she classified as a furry? Does she, does a horse? Herbie: There's a lot of crazy like people that are in this stuff and there's a lot of crazy things out there. And you know, the other thing we should talk about is like, you know, the Creek Angels. Those are crazy. Shamus: But we're not going to talk about them. Mermaid, Scooby Ducks, dragons. real unicorns, if they exist. Herbie: Right. Shamus: ⁓ yeah. So I mean, we do have guidelines. We just want to hit like on the, the, the well-known, the most famous ones. ⁓ you know, like the Loch Ness monster, the Jersey devil, the tubercabra, big foot, the boogie man, doosa, you know, stuff like that. because as I was thinking about this, I was just, holy shit. Like we have one of the most famous mythical quick right here in jerk, like the Jersey devil. Yeah. There's a NHL. Franchise named after the thing people have claimed to have seen it But they never have so ⁓ I don't even really know all that much about them I know more about Bigfoot or the Sasquatch and I do about the Jersey Devil. Do know anything about that? Herbie: Dude. Well, I noticed like, uh, it was like in leads or something like that. Uh, like the mother gave birth and I guess he was cursed and he had like hooves and wings and all this other crazy crap and just flew out and became a fricking monster. I don't really know that much either, but I remember back in the day, I was thinking about if I ever did like an independent little crappy movie. like to do like a New Jersey Devil movie. You know, I mean, it's like perfect location in South Jersey. I heard they did one. Shamus: Have ever done one? Go ahead, all IMDB, keep talking. Herbie: They should do more, it's just easy to do it because, for us, you know, South Jersey, you know, filming out in the Pine Barrens, you have plenty, plenty of people that would sign up for something like that, like a little independent movie venture and just write an easy story. Just got to design a cool looking creature. Cause like the, the illustrations I've seen before, like the Jersey devil are not really interesting. And and I seen like the one, it was like a black and white one where he looks like a, like a hairy devil with the hooves and the wings. He's wearing like a. like a tuxedo shirt or something like that. That one looked kind of okay, but the other ones are almost look like a moose and a whole bunch of other stuff that's all mixed together in amalgamation of crazy looking monsters. Shamus: That's what like some of the pictures I've seen it kind of looks like a minotaur or what was the other centauri whatever But it's all pretty much along the same lines of what this thing was supposed to look like there actually is a movie ⁓ It was in 2005. It's called the Jersey Devil ⁓ Basically a traders widow was exiled from shrouds point her starving children died She consumed their remains to survive since sending into madness and bloodlust pregnant again ⁓ Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: Women have it so easy. They can be totally out of their minds. Blood lust met and somebody knocked her up. She's still got it. Pregnant again. She cursed her unborn child to seek vengeance. That sounds like a great movie. Herbie: How the hell do they hook up though? Like the dude just sees this chick out in the woods and she's eating other people and he's like, you know what? I cracked that. That is true. A lot of moonshine and creek water hanging out by the cricks. Shamus: It is the pines. There's some crazy shit going on. That's why I was able to get through in Georgia and Alabama when I was stationed down there, because I was just like, holy, and they're like, dude, you're from like Jersey and Philly. Yeah. You know about this stuff? I'm like, we have a small section in Jersey called the Pines. Some of this stuff goes. Herbie: This pine's actually not that very small, man. It's pretty damn big. When I first moved out here, I didn't even realize, you know, what cedar water was. I looked, was like, this is like dirty ass water. Shamus: Well, we always I mean, when we went camping up in the Poconos, we always all the lakes were like Cedarwood. But ⁓ but yeah, like there's not all of them. That's like I said, I know. I do know some people that live in the Pines area and stuff like that. Actually, the school I work at and the township I work at is like their sign on the, you know, welcome to whatever. you know, the gateway to the pines. So like a lot of those people are considered pioneers and stuff, too. So they're not all crazy, but there is. There's some Jersey Rednecks out there. Herbie: Oh yeah, there's some hills of ice people out there. This is the thing about the, with the sand and stuff like that kind of it filters out the water. I mean, it's, it's, it's Cedar ish or Cedar, but there's still parts of it where you can actually see like it's clear and it's pretty, know, like a lot, a lot of people like, you know, especially around this time of year, you know, everyone's canoeing, kayaking and Doing all the little war events. can see some really nice scene. Yeah. Tubin man. That's a whole nother episode too of doing like kayak and tubing in, South Jersey. Shamus: Well, you know what else is pretty crazy? I was in the military, like stationed out in Georgia and stuff like that. Every once in a while I'd meet up with my buddy, Mike. He was stationed at Fort Stewart. We were best friends in high school and all that stuff. And he'd be like, yo, let's catch an ops or catch a hop. A hop is at Fort Stewart airfield. Like if a military plane was flying from, say, Fort Stewart to Fort Ord in California and they had room, you could just get on the fucking, you didn't have. like on the weekends, like if we had a holiday weekend and we're off, you could just get on the fucking plane if they had room, fly to Camp Ward. And then next thing know, you're in California. So we used to do that. And then or we'd go to it's in San Diego. It's where the CBs are. We'd fly to that Navy base and then we'd just rent a car and rock down the Baja and all that shit. So we go to Mexico. I never all the times I was in Mexico, like Baja, Tijuana, you know. Herbie: Yeah. Let's go. Shamus: Never ever heard of the tubercobber. It wasn't until I started working for the state that one of my, you know, fellow officers, it's just like, ⁓ the tuba. I look like that to my problem. I look at this. What are you talking about? And like he showed and it's almost like the Jersey Devil. There's nine thousand different variations, but it's all kind of the same base, kind of the same thing. But it's just we're looking. Herbie: What about? Shamus: What the hell? And to this day, I never got like a full explanation of what that thing is. Herbie: There's probably a goddamn, I'm sure there's movies about that thing too. Cause I know it's a goat blood sucker or something like that. You know, kind of like a guy, guess a big ass tick that's just runs around and just like, you Shamus: ⁓ he said it's probably like a fucking coyote with manges. just did. Yeah. Like some Mexicans all fucked up on tequila were like, true. ⁓ Herbie: I mean, seeing Breaking Bad stuff, I'm sure like probably somebody got skitzed out on freaking crystal meth and is just running around butt naked just like just sucking on on the teats of goats and stuff. You never know. People have done crazier stuff on crystal meth, I'm sure. ⁓ Shamus: No doubt. But yeah, I was just kind of like, what the hell is that? And of course, you know, we're sitting and we go back to the office. There is a movie. It's a video. Actually, it's a. It's funny if you IMDb to recover, Nick Kroll comes up first. It's called El Chubacabra. Herbie: Really? ⁓ Shamus: real terror is here. A new species has evolved. That's all it says. ⁓ don't know what the hell that is. Herbie: Sounds like another project maybe we ⁓ if ever get into making some movies. Because I do like horror movies. Shamus: Well, I mean, recently they started the Kong versus Godzilla and now their teammates or whatever. Why do you like to do? We should do a tournament, dude, like a bracket. Like the Jersey Devil versus Chubacabra to see who faces the Loch Ness Monster. Oh, you know that kind of dude, just like Brack. Maybe we'll do that next year for the March Madness Brackets. We'll do it. Mythical creatures like that. We'll have to dig up some guys. Herbie: Yes. we got some unicorns in there too man. Shamus: Yeah. We should have her on. Herbie: Yeah. Well, you know, like I said, some women like to dress in unicorns, Interesting. Very cool. Shamus: Yeah. another thing is like, like I just mentioned the Loch Ness monster. How big is that? God damn Lake. If that thing is it in like, where the hell is that thing at? I know it's over in England somewhere in the UK. Herbie: our Loch Ness Scotland Loch Loch Ness in the law. Shamus: I'm assuming it's a big dragon because it always looks like the shit at the playground that's half in the dirt. Yeah, like it just kind of you're like, dude, it's Herbie: And they keep looking for it, man, it's just... Shamus: Now see that might have a little bit of credibility to it because they say like 75 % of all the oceans in the world are still unexported. Like they have no idea what's going on in a lot of the water. Like once they get to a certain depth and shit when I wouldn't there's some there's fucking fish down there with headlights on their head. So ⁓ I wouldn't shut. I'm not saying it's real. I'm just saying it wouldn't shock me if there's some weird shit going on. Herbie: Yeah. You know after a while you would see like this goddamn thing poking its head out of the water and stuff. Shamus: In the 30s, have them black and white photos of like a big ass. Herbie: It's black and white pictures same thing with Bigfoot, you know, he's like sitting there with that half stripe thing looking like Harry and the Hendersons and stuff Just walking around Shamus: That's more famous than the Jordan post. Herbie: So they got with the beef jerky Bigfoot out there now. Shamus: I love those commercials. Yeah, because he just bitched. They mess with a first. Herbie: We're just like having a, you know, just a big ass Wookie. You know, it's like a matter of fact, if you. Shamus: You're a Star Wars guy. Is that where Chewbacca's image came from? Like the George Lucas or he's no Spielberg, right? Lucas just go, Hey man, we're just going to throw a squash. Watch him with Harrison Ford and call the fucking to give him a bandolier. Herbie: Yeah, it's not Bigfoot. It's a bookie with a bandolier. It's completely different. Now, I believe it's based on his pet, as he had a dog and man's best friend type deals that he just made the companion. Shamus: Yeah, but I mean, the character itself, like the way it looks and all. mean, like you said, what the half walking fucking chili, man. Herbie: This... Either you find him in the woods or he's fixing the hyperdrive with a Millennium Falcon. It's great. Shamus: I always thought like the first time somebody seen it, it was probably just a woodsman with a big ass bushy beard wearing animal. But probably like six foot eight, you know, full head of flowing hair because he had a haircut in years and just walking and somebody's like, holy smoke. Herbie: Yeah. But it could be or it could be one of those guys is just still in like some liquor out in the woods and he didn't want to get caught. He's wearing a ghillie suit. Yeah. Shamus: The moonshine or something. But people swear there's still a small contingent. I don't know how small it is or how big it is, but there's still people out in the Pacific Northwest, like up in that area, like Washington, Oregon, that still believe this thing exists. And but nobody ever has like a solid picture of this fucking. ⁓ Herbie: same thing when people do like the ghost hunting stuff. hear like, I think I heard like a, a small, you know, some, some, or like an EMP reading at a penitent. don't know, man. It would be cool if they finally say breaking news. Bigfoot does exist. That'd be great. Yeah. But they don't have that. There's so many people that research. I mean, they even put like the, water drones in a lock in the Loch Ness and try to look for, you know, the, creature. Shamus: All you do with technology nowadays when it comes to, well, first of all, the ghost hunter thing, I think people hear shit that they want to hear. But you mean to tell me on this night, like I traveled all the way here to what was that? What's that haunted prison? And you you show up and like, OK, this guy's going to talk to me tonight like, come on, there's nine thousand people that come through here a week and he's I'm going to hear this. Herbie: Nessie, I should say. Yeah. There's a bunch of them out there. Yeah. I'm gonna choose Billy from Southampton. Yeah. Shamus: Hey man, look at the head on that dude. Big headed motherfucker. We're going to fuck with this guy. Oh, and he's fucking. Oh my God. He said he has checked his. He's uglier than you are. I see what I did there. But but like when it comes to Bigfoot, like any hunter will tell you they have these trail cameras now that are motion detected, like they're solar powered or the battery. You could put them all over the floor and like nobody has. Herbie: You You're dead! Get out! Shamus: They get pictures of wolves, deer, know, bears, all this. You mean to tell me this thing is like. Like walking through the woods and like, ⁓ here's a camera hole and like around it or. Herbie: It would really suck too, but like my, my lack of faith in humanity was if, if he does exist, that one guy, that one hunter finds Bigfoot and just shoots his ass right then and there. You don't get a chance to study it. Nothing. He's like, he's heading right for us. He's with Bigfoot's mounted on the wall. Oh my God, Jesus. Most likely that wouldn't probably be happening. So, you know, I'm glad so far, like the mythical creatures haven't been found yet. It just keeps like hope alive. Shamus: Yeah! Well, I'll tell you what those dudes after watching them Jackson X commercials when he's tossing people around. Whether they're a little off, you know, like the cheese isn't entirely on the cracker and they're out there looking for it. I give those guys a lot of credit. It takes balls to go out there. ⁓ yeah. Because if you do find it, then what? Because he's going to he's going to fuck you. Herbie: All right. Yeah. What do you do? Are you going to try to like open up dialogue? Yeah. Shamus: Oh, yeah. And you can't do the bear thing like you can't be like, but like, what if he's like, oh, and like now he thinks you want to mate with it or something like. Herbie: Yeah, or like Wookiee smacks you. Wookiee smacks you first and then mates with you over a big ass log. Shamus: Yeah, like I don't even know, man. God bless those people. Herbie: ⁓ Or you might be like some stoner dude just camping out there next to you know he's just burning a nice spliff and Bigfoot just sits next him like, what's up man, want to share that? Shamus: Well, see, that's the kind of shit I do want to see if there ever is proof like dudes like looking for them all day, but then they pass out and all of sudden, like on the trail camera, you see, like he slides back. So he's all like flexing. He's got a marker. He's drawing on their face. Herbie: Yeah, throwing dicks on their foreheads, taking all their weed and snacks. Shamus: or he ⁓ Herbie: Like T-Bag is the one one do before he leaves. We're gonna sweet man like Billy's like why do I taste like Maybe that's it. mean he's got like he's got like a big ass ghillie suit So he can just like hide in plain sight You know if you have no one seen him now. He's got to be that well at hiding so most likely there could have been some you know campers that have been accosted or worth stolen from Shamus: Spartan in their coolers. Herbie: You know, because there's always like that one dude, if you guys go on like a camping trip, there's always that one dude in your group that would that always brings all the weed and forgets where I have to where I put it. So it could be, you know, just like the whole thing to where the Bigfoot just actually takes like that other ounce and your buddy's running around like, did you take my ounce? Where's where's the rest of my weed at? Shamus: Sasquatch is smoking up his shit. Hell yeah! Herbie: You ever know Sasquatch might actually be like, like, you know, he's out in the woods, so he's probably got a nice big old farm of that all by himself, man. Just chillin. Sasquatch spliff. Shamus: He's got to be, would you say he's the most famous? Herbie: Yeah, for a Mar- American one, yeah. There's a lot, there's been a lot of movies out with, ⁓ Bigfoot, you know, and there's, you know, like the Abominable Snowman, you know, a couple of- Shamus: Now, he a different the Yeti is a different than the big. So it's like the Yeti is the, the. Herbie: Yet he's different. So like in Star Wars terms, Bigfoot would be Chewbacca the Wookie and the Yeti would be a Wampa from ⁓ Empire Strikes Back, the big snow creature that smacked the shit out of Luke Skywalker off that tauntaun. Shamus: Okay. I gotcha. I was just going to say the cartoon of Rudolph the red nose reindeer. You can Jack that the guy he's fighting is the Yeti. Herbie: That's another mythical creature man to the heat miser and Jack Frost man Shamus: The abominable snowman. I about him too. Herbie: Every time you see those, like you remember that movie is like, DERNIT! Everyone knows that damn song. Shamus: I'll tell you what, ⁓ you got Jack wasn't playing. Rolled up strap. ⁓ Herbie: Yeah, he was always, That dude was trying to rock, That's what I mean, too. Maybe a Bigfoot dig does get found. He's probably either gonna kill a bunch of people or some dude that's got an elephant shotgun and just blows him in half. Shamus: Well, I think he's probably the most famous overall. But when it comes to kids, I think the boogeyman's probably. Amongst amongst the little kid population, the boogeyman, you he reigns supreme there. Because when it comes to Bigfoot, like kids see like Harry and the Hendersons or they see Chewbacca like, ⁓ he's so cute. He's like, but when you mentioned the boogeyman, those kids. ⁓ That dude comes in many shapes. Herbie: Yeah. ⁓ fear wise, yes. boogie man. Yeah, they get you he's underneath the bed and everything man Yes, he does he's a dad I guess he's a what the hell is that from harry potter one of those? Bogan or something like that, that can actually shape shift into your like biggest fear. Either of them like boogeyman's can be either in your closet, underneath your bed or in the dark basement that you won't want to go into to get your clothes for school the next day. Shamus: Yeah, I was a kid. I never had like, certain kids will like draw me with the boogeyman or like you'll see a picture. And of course now, like when we were kids, they were just like, what is that? you're like, oh, it's the boogeyman. The teacher would be like, oh, nice drawing. Now when you do it, the counselor is like, we have to call his parents. There's something mentally stressed out about this four year old that we need to. Yeah, he has an imagination. Yeah, like everybody had the monster under the bed or in the closet. Yeah. Or like my nephews used to say at my mom's house, the big hairy spiders downstairs and I'm not going into base. So. ⁓ But yeah, it's I never really had. You know, like Mikey or the one eyeball dude or whatever from months, you know, like they were under like I never had like a vision of what my boogeyman look like. I just knew there's a motherfucker under this bed. Yeah. And I got to pee. Herbie: Yeah. It was, you would actually have to do the thing where like you would put the blankets all over your whole entire body except half like your mouth exposed. So you can actually snorkel breathe out of your blanket. Shamus: And I'm not getting up. So you just jump across to your brother's bed who's sleeping and you piss in his bed and then jump back. Herbie: Yeah, because you touched. Yeah, I do, because if you touch the floor, man, he's grabbing your ankle and pulling you under, man, it's over, you know, that all the door, the closet doors got to be closed. You know, did you have a nightlight or. Shamus: I'll show you mr. ⁓ I, I think I did, but to be honest, we, was one of those dudes that I've never had a problem sleep. Like I've never, even to this day, like there's times where, Like if I'm not that I'm stressed out because I very rarely like I'll get pissed off, but I never really stress because to me and I always tell people like some of my buddies back in the day would stress out over bills and I'm like, listen, dude, in 100 years when we're dead, nobody's going to remember us anyway. They're not going to remember if your mortgage is late or what your credit rating is or ⁓ nobody's going to give a shit besides, you know, maybe your grandkids who remember who you were as a person, not like. your status in life or where you lived or, know, so I never, I'm not one of those guys like, ⁓ well, like when I worked for the state, like the one time ⁓ they just like, Hey, the computer's now you guys aren't going to get paid this week. We don't know when we're going to get it back up. You know, there was some kind of leak and I was just kind of like, people are freaking out. And I understand it they have kids, they have to feed. I never, ⁓ I never I ⁓ never kids. I've never been married, but like I did have animals I had to take care of and stuff, but I always had money put aside for that. Herbie: state. Shamus: But like, was just kind of like, all right, well, and then my mortgage company calls, you know, hey, man, I was like, hey, you see that shit on the news about the state of New Jersey? He was like, yeah, so I'm a state employee. You guys know that. And how can I pay if I'm OK, don't worry about it. I never stress in it. So like, I've never had a problem sleeping. So like, I would just like as a little kid, like, oh, my God, the boogie man. But I just don't. Next morning, I would look under him. I guess he didn't stick around. Herbie: Yeah. Well, now you can ask like an adult like what's like what do you think the boogeyman looks like and then probably like the adults like you're talking about is like a stack of bills and the junk. ⁓ yeah. The stack of bills that says late and goddamn junk mail. Shamus: Yeah. Fucking Steve. Yeah, that's ⁓ that's like I said, I never had any problems sleeping or anything like that. But I do remember as a kid thinking to myself, I think that was a movie to the boogie man movies or you know, it actually got rekindled like when that first John Wick came out and he was like, bye bye. He's still. Yeah, he's the man you send to kill the boogie man. I was like, ⁓ I forgot about the boogie man. I guess he's not around anymore because John Wick killed him. That's the man you send. Herbie: ⁓ yeah, Bobby. We go! ⁓ Shamus: Little kids all over the world were like get Wicks number. How we got to call it, dude. Herbie: Heheheheh! That like when you were a kid like for boogie man like where where was he it was underneath your bed and where else Shamus: Well, me and my brother shared it like when we lived in fill we live in the row homes to me and my brother split a room on the weekends He was he's my half brother. So he would go with his dad ⁓ When his dad was still taking him and I had to ruin myself Most of the time he like under our like my brother was that he's under your bed not mine and I was like, whatever I just had tacos that ball fuckers Herbie: Yeah. So well, you're lucky because I didn't have anybody as well. I was just like, you know, only child. So like the boogeyman, it was. Oh, yeah. I used to have set up my toys and stuff like that, like, you know, especially all the robots with their guns and stuff like face the closet and, know, they protect me while I'm sleeping. Like my one cousin, actually, he called his boogeyman the boogie woogie scary monster. Shamus: You and I could be a little. Herbie: And the most intelligent thing, because you know when you're a kid, sometimes if you didn't really like dark rooms or the basement was dark and you didn't like going down there. Yeah, because you always thought maybe some hand's going to come Shamus: I hate a staircase is there. Not like not like in a house, but like I think my one aunt lived in an apartment building and it would be like steps, landing steps and then two doors. There was like no windows in there. There was no light. Like it was just there was nothing in it. It was just a staircase going. And I remember I was downstairs doing something and my mom was. Oh, that's what we pulled up. And my mom's like, hey, do me a favor, run back. It was like six. Hey, run back to the car and grab that and meet me home. Dude, I open that door and it shut behind me and like I'm halfway up and then I realize, holy shit. First of all, I don't know what apartment it is. I don't know what floor I'm getting off. And second of all, why is it so dark in here? And third, Herbie: Yeah. That's always like the horror movies like the. Shamus: Then all of sudden you hear that. coming up the steps and you're like, who the fuck's that? I don't know. I like now you're. You're just running. Herbie: Yeah. And dude, you learn how to fly, dude. You don't even hit the steps. You just fly right over all the whole stairs, man. That's the, why I didn't like about like, you know, especially in the horror movies, the staircase would actually have like the gaps in there. So it was like the hand would and the arm or something would come out and grab you and all that. That used to drive me nuts. But you know, when I was a kid, they'd be like, you know, I had to either get my clothes or something in the basement and be completely dark. And I would just like just lightning. Fast, just like run down there, grab what the hell I had to do and just run out. And then my cousin that was, that was, ⁓ called the boogeyman, the boogie boogie scary monster. He would actually have a conversation with, and he played the part of both. He'd be, you know, him. And then he'd also play the part of the boogie boogie scary monster. So if he's looking at the basement and it's all dark down there, he would just be like, Hey, boogie, woogie, scary monster. I'm going down to the basement. Don't get me. Okay. And then he'd go, it was like, know, we're like, Okay, I won't get you. And then he's like, just kind of like, you know, like, built up his confidence. Shamus: Make a joke out of it. My buddy's older brother used to call him he was younger, call him the Oonga Boonga Man. And when I was in the military, a buddy of mine, and if he's listening, next time he sees he's gonna rip my face off. He said his boogie man was called Rubber Butt Spook. Herbie: Poke, Pokeman. Yeah, really. When it first came out, thought like where people were talking about it, cause I didn't really know what people were talking about. When I first came to Jersey about what the boogeyman is, I thought at first they said the booger man and I was not a great. The old Genesis game. Yeah. But when they said the booger man, at first I wasn't like too, like, you know, too scared about it. But then when they mentioned it was like, it's, it's the one that's underneath the bed. Shamus: game. Remember that game booger man? Yes. Herbie: And that's how I was like, ⁓ yeah, the monster underneath the bed and the one, was a movie. Shamus: Well, you're from the Bronx, right? live in an apartment? Yeah. So was nobody under your bed besides the tenants underneath. yeah. la cucaracha. Herbie: Yeah, and cockroaches. I actually lived in the same neighborhood as the son of Sam. I didn't realize that until years later. ⁓ okay. Yeah, the guy that actually talked to his dog and ran around killing people. Yeah, that guy. I was like around there in the... Shamus: Summer of 77. was the year of summer I was born. Herbie: Yeah, was an amazing time back then, But, Shamus: Well, I never understood like when I lived in Philadelphia, you know, it was the boogie man When we moved over here, then we started hearing about the Jersey Devil. And I was like, how the hell is the state big enough for both of them dudes? Yeah, like is there any room for human being? Like we got the Jersey Devil, we the boogie man. Jesus Christ. And this Mexican guy is telling me about this Cobra Copper thing. What hell? Herbie: Like who's gonna win in a fight? There's monsters everywhere you got it. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, Shamus: ⁓ he tore his ass up. meant like the character itself at the end of the book to go. ⁓ yeah. Herbie: ⁓ yeah, but like, you know the whole because we used to read books all the time and you just see like that character The one specific book I forget which one it is because you know, they made like a nine billion of those Shamus: Absolutely. I don't think they make them too much anymore because of violence at the end of it. Herbie: ⁓ really? Yeah. That's a shame. Shamus: Because I mentioned it in elementary school, like I work at it and stuff. I'm like, Herbie: And they were great tale books. ⁓ man, that sucks. Shamus: I mean, you really don't see too much of a Was it the I mean they know the story of three pill little pigs but they don't they don't really because you know, he's wrecking houses and all that stuff and it's like violent and that one and what was the other one? There was another one that they don't know You know Little Red Riding Hood the boy. Yeah check or Wow, like our whole childhood. I guess we were just raised to be yeah like violent Herbie: I was like wow Yeah. Read it. It's just reading all that stuff. ⁓ my God. Yeah, I didn't even realize that. Shamus: They don't really grow crump because at the end that last goat rolls up, I guess like the dad and like pokes his eye, gourds his eyes out yeah, they just don't. There's like a lot of stuff they don't really mess with. ⁓ Either that or they or rewrite the whole thing. Herbie: Yeah. Yeah, I even think back in the day, the like the original versions of the fairy tales were just like violent, even like the Wizard of Oz, the original original before like the. Shamus: ⁓ yeah. What was it? ⁓ It was that wasn't the ending. Right. It was like, well, that and like the monkeys are actually like, yeah, like that movie Oz that came out years later with What's His Face? Oz, not Oz. Yes. And they said parents were so upset, like kids were crying because the monkeys were just so violent and just like aggressive. And I'm like, that's how it was in the. Herbie: I know you thought the guy was in pineapple express I say that that that one was, would say it was more accurate towards the Wizard of Oz, to be honest, like the Wizard of the Writings. But I think like the other mythical creatures I used to get was like when I was little kid watching the movie Clash of the Titans. So of course, know, Medusa and the Kraken. Shamus: Well, here's another one. ⁓ Well, this has always been the snake haired girl that turned me into stone and I might have dated that broad. But the crack is another one that kind of takes on different shapes, too, because in the movie Clash of the Titans, he's like that big gargoyle looking monster dude. But in Pirates of the Caribbean, he's that giant squid. Yeah. And then on the rum bottle, he's the squid thing. Herbie: ⁓ yeah. Trust me. had minor interventions with that. That that squirt on the rum bottle, man. Shamus: And what cracks me up is he's a monster. He's a mythical monster. Everybody knows about you over these to cracking and stuff like that. But Johnny Depp somehow gave that. You know how, like they said, don't ever give like a gift. Don't ever give a pet a name, because if you don't want to get attached to it and stuff like that, like when he goes to attack the Black Pearl and Johnny Depp's character, you know, Sparrow is always like the beast, he calls him the beastie and they have like this relationship and he's like, hello, beast. And when he's, know, but then like. Herbie: Yeah. Get ready to dive. Shamus: If you haven't seen the movie by now, it's your own fault. But like when they kill the crack, like the beastie and he's on the beat and you see Johnny Depp like kind of upset about it. And I was like, holy shit, man. That's like trying to take in the boogeyman and I had feelings for that. was like, man, that sucks, dude. That was his boy. And I was like, this fucking thing is wrecked millions of ships and killed thousands of sailors. Herbie: Like it could have been like, took a thing of like Moby Dick, you know, like he's just like, Ahab was like infatuated by killing this whale, man. Yeah. But I think like the, the cracking one, I always thought was cool. Cause like when I watched the clash of the Titans, the original one, I always thought he was a cool looking like creature, you know, like Ray Harry house. I think the guy that you should do like the stop motion thing did like the original King Kong and all those other things. I think I believe that was his last. Shamus: It's his fault. Find another fish, That's when you actually had to work at special effects. Herbie: Yeah, and of course, Medusa was a cool-looking character. Shamus: She was out to Like like we said the special effects back then weren't I mean they were up to snuff for its time But that kind of still holds up like that whole scene where she's going through and like so I was like man That's kind of impressive for what they did back there Herbie: They said it took like three months for them to film just that because like when they're doing the stop motion, of course, they got it like every snake. So it's just painstaking. Shamus: She was absolutely amazing. My dad loved all that, like the sci-fi, like the Greek mythology stuff. And I remember watching that as a kid in that part. I was just like, what the hell is that? Herbie: She was cool, she was scary too, ⁓ yeah, then her blood was acidic and stuff too. Yeah. And like even when she got her head cut off by Perseus, her claws like grinded, like scratched against the columns and everything, Jesus Christ. And she could still kill you decapitated. Shamus: Yeah, like, cause that's how he beats a kid. Herbie: I was like, bitch is bad. That's a bad bitch, man. Shamus: Okay, man, I think we might have had a run in at one point. Another one is the Cyclops guy and every kind of, what was it? and the, no, I don't think that was just a giant movie. Like the original Crowl. He was good. He's another one. He's kind of like Frankenstein in some movies like Van Helsing, which I thought was great with Hugh Jackman. Yeah, like Frankenstein's kind of a. Herbie: I used to like to watch it like when I was a kid. Oh, yeah, that dude was dope though Shamus: He's a good guy in it. You feel bad about him. But then certain Frankenstein movies are just like this guy's a jerk. It's almost like that. Well, Kroll, he was awesome. But then there was like I think it was like Alibaba in the 40s. It was like one of them Saturday morning things. My dad was watching afternoon thing and I did one Cyclops on there was just like eating dudes like he was bigger than everybody else. And so like he's another one that could go either way. Herbie: That's a like a lot. I think I know what you're talking about. Like that that that Cyclops is like he's really big. He's got he's got a horn. Yeah, it's a lot of the old Sinbad Sinbad movies. Those are great movies. Shamus: Yeah. And then, like in He-Man, he was a bad guy with Skeletor. He had the Cyclops guy. ⁓ I wonder if they're gonna, because that's coming out what, next month? I think he's in it. They got everybody else in it. but yeah, those guys kind of, and then of course you had Peg, like in Clash of the Titans. We're not gonna talk about your girlfriend, the unicorn. But the most famous unicorn is Pegasus. And it's also in the Marvel movies, because the one chick in the Thor movies. Herbie: Yeah. Yeah Valkyries, yeah. Shamus: Yeah, she also played in Creed. I forget her name. She's gorgeous. ⁓ know, Pegasus. I think it's right? Is that the name? ⁓ Herbie: Yeah. the Pegasus for Greek mythology the Valkyries I forget the name of the horses for the Valkyries. The comic books basically just had one character named Valkyrie which is know comic book accurate but the Valkyries were actually just a squad of the battle maidens that came to bring it to Asgard. Shamus: Well, her name's Valkyrie, right? Or is the horse name Valkyrie? Okay. Holla. Have ever seen Max Payne with Mark Wahlberg? Really? No, that's one of those movies. It's actually pretty good for a video game movie. Yeah, check it out. We won't get into that too much then since you haven't seen it, but that's another. That's a whole other thing we totally didn't talk about, like Thor, mythical God of thunder, Zeus, all them great dudes. What's the Mercury's the God of messenger? Yeah. Oh, and all those. Herbie: Nah, seen the video games Yeah. Yeah. Especially like, cause they're all similar. The mythology is similar. He's Greek. got like Zeus and then. Odin. All those cool guys. Great movies. I used to like reading those books about Greek mythology and mythology itself is actually has like a lot of great stories, but also a moral to the story too. You know, like Icarus that flew too close to the sun. Stuff like that. Shamus: ⁓ yeah, I'm just saying in general. ⁓ yeah, absolutely. Yeah, I just never understood how you can. I'm like, so Zeus is the god of everything like he's that dude. And what the fuck do I got to pray to the god of the water when I can just pray to Zeus and just will tell Neptune, hey, don't fuck with that dude. Herbie: One of us. Yeah, that doesn't make sense because basically at first, Zeus was the son of the Titan Kronos and like the Olympians actually threw, you know, over through the Titans and then became the gods, the new gods. Yeah, that kind of makes I don't know. guess like it. Shamus: ⁓ I never understood that. Yeah. Like if I'm getting ready to set sail and I'm just like, you know what? I'm just going to go right up the chain of command here. Like I'm not even going to fucking Poseidon or Neptune or whatever. I'm just going to ask Zeus for a safe trip. Herbie: Well, maybe Zeus got a lot of stuff. He's like, you know, because if you think about it, like the rest of his boys, like Poseidon and Athena and all those people like, you know, went on his side to like defeat the Titans. So maybe he's like, all right, being that you helped me and I became king now, I'm going to you. You just give me like, I don't feel like dealing with that shit anyways, like I'm not really big in a boat. So you like Poseidon, you got the boats. All right. You it. got the. Shamus: think he was delegating power. think about it. And I know we're we never talk politics or religion. So it's in this case, we kind of can. It's kind of like how the US government set up President Zeus. And then like you said, you delegate power Poseidon's the Navy. Yeah, you know, Athena's you know. Oh, yeah, we got. Yeah, I mean, so you got like your public relations department like he had. Zeus had all that going on. Herbie: wisdom for Didi's love. And plus it's like, if you're the king, dude, you just want to sit on a crown drinking wine and, eating grapes and stuff with a bunch of hot chicks. mean, the dude would actually, you know, transform into like a bird or something, go down to earth and start like, you know, cracking hot chicks. Like God bless him. Good for him. Good for Zeus. ⁓ yeah. Yeah. A lot of stories go with that, know, know, the God's going down to earth and just, ⁓ you know, tasting the sweet nectar of humanity. Shamus: Not me, man. I'd roll up and like what? And especially nowadays. Yeah. What the hell is? Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: I guess we can wrap it up because there's not too much left. mean, like I said, we're going to do the holiday stuff. We'll cover leprechauns and Easter bunny and Santa Claus. Oh, that's another thing. Like real quick before we get to that. Like we were talking about the Billy Goat Gruff. This is one guy that actually did make a comeback and I'm just going to touch on it. We're not going to talk about it because of, you know, how society was and you're like, oh, everything's too violent or too scary. We don't want to. That dude Krampus has made a cut in the last 15 years. That dude just... because I never even heard of that dude when I was a kid. You're right. I never heard about him until just recently. And then when he showed up in that movie, Red One, I was like, Herbie: Yeah, dude, there's a couple of Krampus movies and the red one. And now even they're starting, not just like mythical creatures, but like they're starting to do like horror movies with like Winnie the Pooh, frickin Popeye. Dude, they're just getting into like crazy. Shamus: You mentioned that before on one of these podcasts that they're doing stuff like that. Herbie: Actually, you know, you're right. There is a myth that we, got some time. can still like discuss like some mythical. Shamus: Yeah, like Krampus had his own movie, but like I was just kind of like, what the hell is Krampus? I'm like, you don't know. I'm like, no, they're like, you know, if you were a bad kid, I was like, I was always told that if I was bad, I would just get coal, you know, where I wouldn't get anything for Christmas. I never heard about this dude coming to take bad kids away. I thought that was like, you know, the police department or something. But but. Herbie: Yeah. off a minute. you Shamus: Next thing I know, I'm like, what the hell is this Krampus movie? And everybody looked at me like I had a third act. They were just like, what do mean? You don't know Krampus is. And I'm like, I have no idea. then I find out it's like Santa's stepbrother or his brother or something like that. I read one. Have you ever seen read one? It's good, dude. I was shocked. Yeah, because I was like, oh, here's another great. It's rock versus, you know, rocks going to save Christmas. Baba baba. But it's actually really good. Yeah. That guy, J.K. Simmons plays Santa Claus. Yeah. Herbie: to be honest, like before. Yeah. Shamus: That's good. Herbie: I think no one really knew about Krampus until the movie came out, so don't feel bad, because I believe... Shamus: Yeah, but he was just miscl- I mean, he's been around as long as Santa Claus. He doesn't get no- I'll tell you what, his street cred's going through the roof. He's got his numbers up. Herbie: Yeah? ⁓ yeah. There are a lot of good kids out there now. I think who else is a listener's tool? If you guys have an idea like a mythical creature we really didn't mention, if you like chime in on it. Trying to think who the hell else? Shamus: Yeah. know. It's like I said, there's lot. It's like I said, there's mermaids. People say mermaids, ⁓ know, dragons, unicorns, stuff like that. But it's like I said, those are all just kind of like general, like a species kind of deal. ⁓ Herbie: Some, some people say I need, I need about, I need about three 50 from like South park. When, ⁓ the dude, like, ⁓ I think chef's parents were talking about like the Loch Ness monster would come up and ask him for money. Like I need about three 50. Shamus: You ever see that episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force? Oh, yeah. And when the leprechauns were rolling people at the park like David, they were sending out the rainbow and like that neighbor with the wife. Yeah, he was like, Oh, there's gotta be gold down there. He went down there and a leprechaun like, yeah, get over there. Like, come to the park. They robbed them every time they needed money. They put the rainbow up and somebody would show up and they'd get out. Herbie: It just roll them for cash. Yeah, they don't tell you how to go for a crock of gold, man. Shamus: ⁓ well, it's like I said, we can mention her because she's not so much in St. Patrick's Day, Laura, as she's Irish. Herbie: ⁓ the banshee! Shamus: I never heard of that. Herbie: Darby, you'll hear Darby, you'll to little people. Yeah, you got to watch that damn movie, man. It's like around St. Patty's Day. Watch Darby, you'll go in the little people. It's Disney movie. an old like 1950 six movie. Shamus: I'm like, the hell is a DaVinci? Well, apparently that's a huge part of Irish folklore is like, ⁓ they basically, it's like a spirit that comes in Wales and yells and stuff at like people's funerals or their viewings ⁓ me being Irish, my, my dad's side being Irish, he, definitely wasn't at my dad's ceremony. So I don't know if maybe it's just an Irish thing, not so much an American thing, but, I do remember our friends saying that when he was real little, He went to a funeral and the family or the church had paid two or three women to sit in the first row and just crying whale. Yeah, the criers and the whalers and I was just. Herbie: I think they were called the Criers. Wow. Shamus: That's got to be. I mean, they did a lot of crazy shit back then. You know, bodies on ice and all that stuff. But yeah, apparently, if you're if you're wondering what we're talking about, a buddy of ours, he's an older guy. said when he was younger, he went to an Irish funeral and it was like at an Irish funeral home or a church or something like that. And when he walked in, there was these three women ridiculously, like overdramatic about it and And he, you know, come to find out years later that the family or the church provided them or paid them to be there. And they were kind of like paid actors that just wailed and yelled and cried. you know, like they were hurt. And come to find out they never knew the guy who was in the coffin. Like they were just, and I was like, man, that's pretty crazy. I'd imagine. Herbie: Maybe that's how it started, like the original Criers and Wailers or whatever. Maybe like that one guy in that village was a complete asshole, had no friends, you know, being everyone else that goes to church and trying to be nice. No one else wanted to show up to his funeral. They were just happy that he was dead. Shamus: That's awesome. I guess I'll tell you what though. It's My father was the opposite way. He um, I he kind of knew he was gonna go like he told my mom like We won't get into it, but he knew that day and he was and like he walked into the hospital never walked back out Like I think he was just done. He just gave up But um, he told us he was just like listen Have it don't have it at a church have it at a you know He's like if you want just burn me up and put me on the bookshelf He was like you guys don't have to have a service, but if you're gonna do it He's like, don't have like a priest come in and talk. He was just like, just have everybody stand up and say something good about me. And I was like, dude, that's going to be like 45 seconds. You and your mother, ha ha ha, same sense of humor. So, but, uh, you know, he left and that's exactly what we did. And it was one of the funniest guys because he was a clown. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: As much as I talk about my mother having a sense of humor, my father, there's a picture of him up on that. I don't know if you turn around and see it. It's on the far right, but you can check it out before you leave. The dude never gave you like for family pictures he would give you that. But like if you put a camera in front of him, he would, you know, he would just make like this funny face or da da da. Or he always had a joke or he was always the life of the party. And when we did that, it was like it was supposed to be like we were doing shots like, you know, Irish. Oh, yeah. And. When people started going around, like everybody was laughing, And I was just kind of like, this is exactly what he wanted. And I thought that was great. And if anybody's still around when I go, ⁓ that's how I of want mine to be. Like, ⁓ I don't need grease. I don't need some stranger coming up saying, you know, God is great. And this guy was, he served, you it ⁓ was like, you like upset at Ryan's. Herbie: financing on Shamus: ⁓ funeral when that guy was just like, ⁓ just like Pearl Jam said, like, you don't even know right? Like, how the hell? Somebody told you they like Pearl Jam and you just kind of like, don't want that. just like have you get up and go, hey, man, start with you. But he just go around the room and give one good, you know, memory of. Herbie: Yeah. ⁓ Yeah. This way becoming a mythical creature yourself, man. Shamus: But that's the band. She shows up. We're Bob so around. He'll play the whale. Herbie: the banshee. ⁓ yeah, man. ⁓ Give a couple of beers and a guitar, man. It's it maybe we have like a junk mail. Steve come around to. Shamus: Yeah, we'll have all the guests from the show there. Herbie: You're making half a special appearance by No Onion Joe showing up too. Shamus: ⁓ on your joke. Now that's a mythical creature right there. Herbie: brother. All I got is I only got to see him. See, that's another thing about mythological mythical creatures like. Shamus: He in one day he evolved from Joe to no one to no onion. Joe. was no cheese? Joe. That was no onion. Yep. And a matter of five hours, I had three identities. The point where at the end of the night, he walked over to the band microphone and he was like, Hey, everybody, no, did Joe here. Just like, you know, we're getting ready to close down the grill. If you need a burger without an onion, you come see no onion, Joe. And I was just like, Herbie: His Lord. Lord. ⁓ Shamus: Did everybody call him? No, and somebody was just like, no, that's just my uncle Joe. You assholes start calling him no one. Herbie: Yeah, we get another legend, man. Another myth. Well, like I said before, mythical creatures, you get like that crappy picture and like, you know, no evidence, but you will see a myth of like a so-called mythical creature in the flesh. You got no one in Joe. got Creek angels. one. And do you buy the Wawa trash can, Yeah, magical myth, but actually. Shamus: A lot of trash, dude. Fuck yeah, man. Herbie: magical creatures. Shamus: Magical. One of a kind. Herbie: Friends like ask me like how you feel I'm like magical like ⁓ I like that. You know especially at work I'd everyone just says you know peachy or whatever to hell you know that crap I got a one-up and like hey magical I like that Shamus: Before we wrap this up I just want to let you know there was another turkey attack. Herbie: Are you serious? Yeah. I could do it! Shamus: The school I worked at the first two years I worked up in Hamilton. Yeah. My brother works there now. There's like a little courtyard area ⁓ and it's right next to the recess. Like you have to go around the cafeteria. Yeah. But it's like a little thing that where they used to eat outside you know, actually when kids were responsible and ⁓ there some turkeys out there and my brother who listens to the show but also knows the guy who used live next door to me, he's afraid to death of turkeys. ⁓ Herbie: there. Shamus: He's walking by and there's a teacher out there and he was just, and he sees these turkeys. So my brother opens the door, he goes, what the hell you doing? She goes, ⁓ I feel so bad. We need to feed these turkeys. ⁓ And my brother's like, are you out of your goddamn mind? she goes back in. So my brother closes the door and he's like, I just figured she was like, yeah, he's probably right. And goes, I walked away. He's like, I came back and the door was cracked. He's like, I looked out there and she's got, I guess she, ⁓ Sometimes there's ducks out front that they feed the ducks She had that same seed and she started throwing it. He said these turkeys turned they were like maybe a hundred yards away They saw her turn and started. Oh Yeah, and like he started and they started picking on the speed my brother's like a lady You got about 15 seconds or I'm closing this door and you're on your own. Yeah, like what do you mean? He was like these things are fucking Herbie: Yeah. Yeah, like the philosophy. Shamus: And that's when she looked at me. Like you said, they were full speed. Like, wow. And they were like, she was like, holy shit. So like she comes in the building to shut the door. Now these things eat all the seed. Now they're out the window pecking out the window. Herbie: Yeah. ⁓ she's dumb. Shamus: So, as their principal, and he was a cool dude, he started the last year I was there, but he's one of those, he's your typical New Jersey state wrestler. He's five foot four, maybe 135 pounds, but the guy can wrestle his ass off. He's got the cauliflower ears, he wrestled in college, Nice guy, great dude, He walks by the window goes, what's with all these turkeys? My brother's like, he goes. Herbie: Right. Shamus: Somebody feed him my brother and my brothers. Listen, we're no rats in our family. Cops are no cops. We're not fucking telling on anybody. So he was just like, are you seriously going to make me go look at the camera? My brother's like, yeah, I'm not telling you shit. He goes to look at the cat while the turkeys finally start to walk away as he's halfway down the hall, he turned around and goes, you know what? Fuck it, they're just turkeys. I'm just going to chase him. And my brother's like, ⁓ go ahead. Now, you I don't know when the last time you see my brother. Herbie: you Shamus: My brother's a decent sized dude. He's a spinning image. Howie Long is his doppelganger. They're a spinning image of each other, but Rob's in really good shape. The guy bench presses over 300 plus pounds, loves working out, that's what he does. That dude opened the door, he stepped out, and the door shut behind him. He said, as soon as they heard that click, them turkeys turned around and were like, and like, he turned around and like, hey, Rob! Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: brother had to run over grab the door open it pull me yeah dude maintenance went out to get rid of them they chased a maintenance guy they canceled recess that day because they couldn't get rid of them they called animal control and animal control like you're with those dudes yeah Herbie: ⁓ there'll be casualties. They're like, we could have like a whole. Shamus: You're just going to have to wait them out. They were just like, well, what if they're here until June? It was like, I guess you guys are stuck here. Herbie: Yes, you're inside, Like a whole pack of rabid coyotes. Yeah, we'll be there. There could be like a. Shamus: I said, I mean, right next door to Trenton. So they got a little bit of street cred. Herbie: ⁓ my god, it's like the goddamn, you know, the velociraptor scene when they're in like that tall grass and the velociraptors just like just fan out and like pick everyone off one with ⁓ Jesus Christ. Shamus: brother said he said those things turned around and one of them was like made something like that He said the rest of them turned around it was like that movie weapons. Yeah, just started running It's all like turned towards the door just started running towards it. He was like I was so creeped out Herbie: rushed him. Shamus: He was like, don't even think I had enough ammo to put him down like, because I mean, we're all armed now. My brother's just like, it was like a horror movie. They just kept coming. Herbie: Pecking through the doors and everything. Shamus: So I guess you could classify them as mythical creatures too. The wild turkeys in New Jersey. Herbie: Yeah, broke. Nope. Shamus: armed guards, police, animal control. They're about that smoke. They were pecking at the glass trying to get in there. Herbie: All about it, man. They even go after the kids, man. There's even like rules in prison. No women, no kids. Turkeys don't give a shit, They're like, we want the women and the kids. They can't run as fast and they taste sweeter. Shamus: Alright. Herbie: That's horrible. Shamus: fucking awesome. He told me that story yesterday. I was crying, I thought you guys were full of shit, man. He was like, I Mike was full of shit. was like, I listened to that episode. I was like. It was like, why would they just like wild turkeys walk around the hospital park? I because they can't get rid of them. And he was like, I know. I just found out the other day, he's like, them saw bitches. Yeah. Herbie: great is that? many people talk about like Exactly, they're They're MAUGHLY TURKEYS It's their territory, bro. I'm telling you, it's their territory. You can only, you hope that you leave a couple dollars on the ground. Shamus: Me and him had both been like, we were both served in the military and stuff before we came back in law enforcement and we both been to like that dude has been the hot like Haiti during the black walk down thing. Yeah. He's been to Somalia and bench presses 300 fuck plus pounds easily. He's ripped up and shit. He just like, man, fuck. Yeah, I want no parts. Herbie: I'm you dude, a cargo plane full of Mount Holly turkeys man would just take out that whole town. Clear it out. Shamus: And like I said, when he was in the mail, he was infantry. like he's seen some shit. Yeah. And he don't want no part. No. And he kind of wild turkey. Herbie: D-Rich! Shamus: So if you're listening and you think we're kidding, Yeah. I'll you what contact me through Facebook and I'll get you in touch with my brother and I'll let him let you know. Herbie: Do not. or like, you know, a funeral home or anything like that. Repeat, do not engage. I repeat, do not engage. Shamus: If we sent those things to Iran, that straight would be wide open bro. Herbie: It'd be over. Completely wide open. Everyone's cars be jacked up too, because they go after your cars too, people. don't they don't just go after the humans like, you know, they like to go after, you know, because they see the man. Shamus: They'll take whatever they can get. Yeah. Them dudes don't care. Like you said, they were harassing old people out in front of the hospital. They're chasing down middle school kids and stuff. Herbie: change for It's like you basically got to have like a small duffel bag of like, you know, loose change and small airplane bottles of liquor. Maybe just, just throw it on the ground and just go the other way, man. Shamus: Mythical creature bracket, Scooby Ducks versus wild turkeys. Herbie: scoby ducks versus scoby ducks versus wild turkey. I'm, I'm, Shamus: We'll save it. Well, because we're to put all these names in a hat and we'll draw brackets next year. Because that's what we'll be doing video by then. So we'll make the bracket board and we'll have like little figurines of like the Chupacabra felt like a leprechaun. We'll do a unicorn. We'll do the Loch Ness. We'll do all we'll get as many mythical creatures as we can and it will fucking just roll dice or whatever. Whoever gets ice roll moves on. Herbie: ⁓ man, this is, ⁓ man. People are like, what the hell is a scoby duck? It's actually a muscoby duck. Shamus: Yeah, I still don't know what that is. I've known you for years and you guys talk about that shit all the time. All I know is it looks like Howard to duck with like leprosy. Herbie: lot of war. ⁓ yeah, yeah. Just like a duck that's selling as leprosy and is on crystal meth and is a magical familiar for the Creek Angels. Shamus: Yeah, we'll have to write all this down. We'll start that bracket next year from where it's been. Herbie: I'll be still, like I said, you know, we were talking about before, like all these other guests that want to come on and. A huge list. Shamus: Yeah. Yeah. I was just going to address that. as we wrap this up, we want to thank everybody for your support and listening and all that stuff. The love that you guys have shown us has been absolutely amazing. Really? But one thing we do want to discuss is when me and Herbie sat down to talk about doing this podcast, be like, this is like two or three weeks before I even bought the first piece of equipment. You know, we kind of discussed on what the show was going to be and what we wanted to accomplish. So every Monday we wanted to put up an episode where we had a guest come on and talk about stuff that we either thought was cool or I didn't know anything about. The last episode with Dungeons and Dragons, I've never played Dungeons and Dragons. I've heard of it, I didn't know how to play it, I didn't know what it entailed, So we sat Tom and Christine down and we knew we were gonna call them in because we knew they played Dungeons and Dragons. So with that in mind, we have a list of. How many people on that list? Like 20? Yeah, 20, 25 people that we originally sat down and went, okay, we can call these people in to discuss stuff that what they do and what we need to know about it or what would our listeners need to know. So we do appreciate when people contact us and say, hey, I want to be on the show. if we can get to you guys, we're going to get to you. But we already have like a scheduled list of about 20 people. So if you do the math. Herbie: doing like Shamus: You know, there's 20 people on the list, so that's 20 weeks. So, and then we'll probably do like a break in between Christmas and know, holidays So we will, we do hear you. We would love to have you on. But like I said, we're already scheduling people So we'll get to you guys eventually. ⁓ But keep listening. We do appreciate you do want to be on the show. That's awesome. ⁓ Herbie: I got other people that keep on asking me to be on the show. Shamus: Yeah. Yeah. It's like I said, we'll get to you. It's just hang in there. Herbie: Basically when we're doing it, we're basically trying to get like, like a, need a topic, you know, either like an interesting job or anything like that. So it's, it's, it's like, there's certain specifications in order for us to be able to try to get a show together. Shamus: Well, here's a example. This weekend, we have two guys from. A scooper heroes guys who pick up dog poop. That's actually a business. So like I saw it. I was like, holy moly, I need to know about this. Herbie: Yeah, I can't wait to it. Shamus: These are all pre-planned things that I had when we sat down and talked about it. So it's like I said, most of these people have already been talked to their schedule and stuff. So if you feel that we're ignoring you or we don't, you want to show that's not the case at all. You just have to be patient. We'll get to you. It's just not like, Hey man, I want to be on the show. And then two days later on the show. So, so just stay patient. We hear you guys. ⁓ another thing we're going to do at the end of each though is people are starting to give us great feedback, but they also have questions. So we're going to do a mailbag. If you have any questions about anything or just a statement about one of the episodes that you heard Yeah, just hit me off on a private message or if you know her be text either one of us if you have the number or just hit us off on the pork roll egg and cheese podcast Facebook page Herbie: Yeah, better off just hitting us on the pork roll egg and cheese podcast Facebook Shamus: Yeah, well I've had a bunch of people just instant message me. So, and it actually works out. So here's a prime example. Herbie: history. Shamus: John S from the Jersey Shore area writes, just listened to the Chuck Norris episode and can't believe he didn't give Jason Statham his props. He is the modern day bad-ass. And for you not to mention that is absolute ass in hind. He's absolutely right. I cannot believe that we totally forgot. Herbie: like skimmed over it, like there's so much stuff to cover and, like a certain amount of time. Shamus: I think it's inexcusable. mean, cause we did mention John Wick and how we did not mention, cause Stallone actually said, you know, the Expendables movie, I'm eventually going to hand it over to Jason Statham because he is the only bad ass. Herbie: Actually, really, is and he does like his own stunts. He does all he. Yeah, and he's a badass. Shamus: And he's a funny dude too. I love them crank movies. That dude is hysterical in those movies. Herbie: So yeah, we, we, we retract that when Jason Statham is a bad ass, he's a modern day hero. Shamus: Yeah. So John has from the Jersey shore. hear you brother and we do apologize. Herbie: You're absolutely right. Shamus: Then another guy, Rob D from Delanco writes, great show guys and love them all episode, but cannot believe you didn't mention the sports store across from the food court into Burlington center. I can't remember the name of it. Neither can we. That's why we didn't mention it. Way to go, Robbie. but I used to buy all my hockey jerseys there and some of my hats. I can't believe that place is gone. That store was tits. Herbie: Hahaha! Shamus: I do remember that store, Robbie. can't remember the name of it, but I do. I think I mentioned in the mall episode, like the one day they had the sports card thing and they were doing autographs of Randall Cunningham and Fred Barnett. Randall was downstairs. Fred Barnett was actually in that store. And I got two autographs because Fred Barnett was my brother's favorite player. And I remember telling him like, hey, I need two. And he was like, really? I said, listen, I'm a huge Eagles fan. I was more of a defensive guy. said, but my brother loves him some Arkansas Fred. So he signed mine, you know, to shame as Fred Barnett. He signed Rob's, to Rob, my biggest fan, Arkansas Fred Barnett. So I do remember that store. I just don't remember the name of it either, Robbie. Thanks for bringing that to our attention. ⁓ And I've been getting a bunch of these, ⁓ but ⁓ A Boston sent me a picture. He sent me the same like, ⁓ It's all the same picture of junk mail. Like everybody's sending me all these pictures of junk mail. But his only had his was the only one that had a caption under it as a picture of junk mail and underneath it says, thanks, Steve, with a thumbs down. So, Steve, if you're listening, the people, I guess you guess you're still sending all that junk mail out to all the right people because they're not happy about it. So and that's pretty much it. So if you have any comments or questions or anything for the show, man. Feel free to write us and let us know. And as always, thanks for listening. And if you get a chance, give us a like, give us a rating, whether it's one star or five stars, bad publicity, still publicity. Yeah. And like Herbie always says, we hope you made you laugh. Like a good kind of getaway. Listen, this is bullshit about the chubacabra and mild turkey. Herbie: Yeah. Shamus: That's gonna be a running thing on this show. ⁓ yeah. Anytime. There's a turkey attack. We're gonna Herbie: Well, it's yes, it's right. Turkey attack update. Maybe we'll get like a big map and like put in the little pins and stuff like that. But not only that, we're saving lives, man, because them turkeys do not play. Yeah. And I'm sure people out there to listen and like, yes, they've unfortunately may have had like a turkey entanglement. So. Shamus: That's right. ⁓ We need to start tracking. So if you're up in the Hamilton area near cruiser road, get it. Herbie: ⁓ Also be advised in the Mount Holly area. Shamus: They are mile deep. All right, everybody, Thanks for listening, and as always, I'm Seamus. And Herbie. And we'll catch you on the next one. See y'all later. Herbie: Thanks, everybody.