Latest / Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud / S6 Ep4: Family Funnies: 16 Jokes to Make You LOL 🤣

Transcript

S6 Ep4: Family Funnies: 16 Jokes to Make You LOL 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_03: I'm from the South.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_03: My parents are cousins.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_03: And that actually is true.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_03: It took one of those tests.
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, Dad, why's why's mom's cousin on your side?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_03: And it's like, eat your meatloaf.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_03: This is true.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_03: Um, I did find that out.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_03: This is well, I was upset when I found out.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_03: I should tell you that.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_03: And this is I wasn't mad that it happened.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_03: I'm I do not blame my parents.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_03: They were very young when they met.
• 0:27
  SPEAKER_03: It was puppy love, same litter.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_03: I was just mad, I didn't find out until I was 26 years old.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, I was just like, yo, I could have used this when I was younger.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: You know, imagine the scholarships I could have gotten.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_03: I didn't know I was diverse, you know.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_03: I just wish I would have known for this one situation.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_03: Like this, it was always like, remember when you go, it was like elementary school and you go to your first day to class, and the teacher would be like, okay, guys, it's our first day, let's all get to know each other, right?
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_03: And she'd be like, go around, tell us your name and tell us an interesting fact.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_03: You know, and I've never, I didn't know I was special.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_03: I was like, oh no, we got two turbals, we can't find one.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: My dad is eczema, you know, and then anything cool.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_03: There was always those kids that couldn't wait to be called on.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_03: I remember one time this kid raised his hand and was like, uh, I'm bilingual, and we were in Kentucky, so we didn't know what that meant.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_03: But we knew he was a spy.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_03: I just wish I could have been like, oh yeah, well, my cousin is me!
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_08: My mom died a few years ago.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, it's alright.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_08: You ain't got all people, you know, we live, we die.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_08: That's how that's how that shit go.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_08: People always want you to be sad when you say somebody died.
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_08: I ain't got no more tears.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_08: I cried about my mom more when she was alive.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, she was my first bully.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, boy, Tasha was a mean one.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_08: She ain't never called me fat, but she knew all the synonyms.
• 2:09
  SPEAKER_08: She be like, Leonard.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_08: I'll be like, yes, ma'am, bring your chunky ass down here right now.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_08: My mom died from a rare neurological disease called Moya Moya.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_08: What Moya Moya does is it chokes off the arteries, supplying the blood to your brain.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_08: So the doctor told us when she died, her brain was only operating on like 23% of the blood it was supposed to have.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_08: And that fucked me up because I got an iPhone.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_08: I'm like 23%.
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_08: She was in the yellow.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_08: She got to close them apps and take a nap, nigga.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_08: I don't know what.
• 2:43
  SPEAKER_08: You want to scroll or you want to breathe, bitch.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_08: I don't know what.
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_08: We got my mama cremated.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_08: My daddy had money, but we ain't rich.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_08: Rich people do shit like bury$12,000 and don't dig it up later.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_08: They told us$12,000 for a casket.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, go on, cut that over on$350.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_08: Some bacon powder, onion powder.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_08: I started putting together a recipe.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_08: Bacon powder, onion powder.
• 3:19
  SPEAKER_08: She likes bay leaves, throw some bay leaves in there.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_08: Got my mama cream.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_08: Man, we ain't do nothing fancy with her ashes neither.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_08: We regular people, we ain't do nothing fancy.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_08: That's rich white folk.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_08: Yeah, rich white folk died, and they family members got to take a 72-day Mediterranean cruise and scatter their ashes on the third moonlight of every Tuesday.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_08: You seen the movies?
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_08: It'd be in their will.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_08: Once I die, scatter my ashes off the coast of Jordan.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_08: We got my mama cremated.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_08: We put our ass in the closet next to a pair of Jordans.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_08: Size 13, Binard.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_14: The last election cycle, we had a, my family had an interesting experience with my grandpa.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_14: In 2016, my grandpa was a huge Trump guy.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_14: He was a lifelong Republican, huge Trump guy in 2016.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_14: By 2020, a few of my sisters had come out of the closet as gay and pansexual, and they were a little more open with my grandparents about why they don't identify with the Republican Party.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_14: And my 86-year-old grandpa, to his credit, he goes, fuck it.
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_14: If they're against you, I'm against them.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_14: And he switched.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_14: Yeah, it was this beautiful thing.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_14: And he gave us this big speech.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_14: He was like, in 2016, I would have died voting for Donald Trump.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_14: In 2020, I'll die voting for Joe Biden.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_14: We were all like, hey man, you don't have to die.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_14: Chill out.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_14: Relax, dude.
• 4:46
  SPEAKER_14: And if you do die, we'll make sure you vote anyways.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_14: You know?
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_14: A couple times, maybe a couple different states.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_14: But uh the anniversary of his death was uh a couple months ago, and I was on the phone with my mom, and I was like, man, do you remember Pop's speech?
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_14: How cool that was.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_14: What a beautiful gift to give us.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_14: And she was like, Yeah, that was that was cool.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_14: I should tell you, he voted for Trump again.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_14: I think he got all the way there and he was like, it's gonna make me gay.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_14: I can't do it.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_12: I hate when old people act like something's new that's been around forever, you know what I mean?
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_12: Like old people, my grandpa's always like, kids these days are eating ass.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_12: We're right ass when I was a kid.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_12: It's so funny.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_12: You think that they invented eating ass in a coffee shop in Bushwick in 2018?
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_12: It's like fucking boomer virgins like grow up.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_12: My grandpa's like, who would ever eat ass?
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_12: I'm like, I don't know, someone who loved grandma?
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_12: I don't know.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so we were sitting on the couch one night and the news came on.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: They were talking about Putin, and she leaned over to me and she went, Putin D's nuts in his mouth.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_02: I fucking lost it.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_02: The thing of it is, is I have a son, so I've already been through D's nuts.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_02: This is round two of D's nuts.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_02: Ugh.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_02: The first time he did it, he came home from school and he was like, hey Ma, have you seen this?
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_02: And I go, well, this what, Ted?
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like, this, the these nuts.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, you fucking loser.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_02: I go, that's not how you do that.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_02: Get the fuck in here.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_02: I go, Ted, that's not how you do that, man.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_02: I go, you go like this.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_02: You go, hey Ma, have you seen these?
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_02: And then I, unsuspecting, go, these what, Ted?
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_02: And then you go, these nuts.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_02: And he went, thanks, Ma.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_05: Goddamn, idiot.
• 6:46
  SPEAKER_02: We were sitting around the table one night, my husband and my two kids, and uh, somehow the word divorce like came into the atmosphere.
• 6:52
  SPEAKER_02: I don't even know how.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: We weren't talking about it.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_02: I was definitely thinking about it, but we were not talking about it.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_02: At the same exact time, both kids looked at each other and she a fucking panic and went, we're going with dad.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_02: And I was like, oh my god, that's oof, yikes.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: That hurt a little bit.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_02: Like, because the audacity of these kids to fucking ever think that I would file for custody.
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_02: Fuck out of here.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_02: You wanna be with me?
• 7:23
  SPEAKER_02: I want to see some fucking hunger game shit, okay?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: I want to fight to the death.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_02: I only want the strongest one.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: We get divorced, I'm on the first late out of here to LA.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna go live my fucking dreams.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_02: I'll see you for a fucking week in December and three in the summer.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_11: I've been real worried about it.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_11: It's his memory.
• 7:48
  SPEAKER_11: He'll tell you a story, pause, and then tell you the exact same story over again.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_11: Which is funny, but he's getting old.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_11: We're scared, it's the early stages of dementia.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_11: Thing is, my father is also a narcissist.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_11: Both of those diseases look the same from the outside.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_11: So this could be his mind slipping, but it could also be him sitting there like, God damn, I just crushed that story.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_11: You know what?
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_11: Let's run it back one more time.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_11: I think that's hereditary.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_11: What'd you think this was?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_11: Every one of these jokes is just a story I heard myself tell, and then said in my mind that was tight.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_11: You should do that over and over again.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_11: Just like my father in that respect.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_11: I've been worried about him lately.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_11: It's his memory.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_11: He'll tell you a story.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_11: Pause.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_11: Thank you for getting that, by the way.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_11: No, you don't understand.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_11: I just told that joke seven times last night.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_11: By the end of the show, I thought I had dementia.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_07: My dad's always been very accepting of me, and I think it's because I'm attracted to very feminine women, and he's a straight guy, so it's like he gets it.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_07: Every time I've introduced him to a girlfriend, he's been like, nice.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_07: Okay, you know what?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_07: Good job.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_07: Talk to your brother.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_07: He's dating a troll.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_07: This is this is good work.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_07: It just wouldn't be that smooth if I was attracted to something he couldn't understand.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_07: If I was attracted to like super butch women, just like dad, this is my girlfriend, Tank, or whatever.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_07: I don't know.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_07: She's coming in hot.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_07: What's up, Captain Tank?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_07: Reporting for duty.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_07: How you doing?
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_07: Wouldn't be as smooth.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_09: I love my parents, I do, but I used to want them to get divorced growing up.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_09: Right?
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_09: Because like all my friends who had divorced parents told me that they got two Christmases.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_09: That sounds so awesome as a Muslim kid to go from zero to two.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_09: That sounded so great.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_09: That's so many more Christmases.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_09: It's like 200%.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_09: I don't know the math, but it's a lot.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_09: Now what happened though?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_09: Uh they did get divorced, and I ended up getting two Ramadans.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_09: I'm very hungry.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_09: I'm very hungry.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_09: It's been months, I'm starving.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_09: A few of you don't know what Ramadan is, apparently.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_09: I'll explain it.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_09: A lot of confused faces.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_09: Uh it's not the one with the candles, that's a different one.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_09: I've never seen so many confused whites in my life.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_09: Well, a few of you are looking at me like Ramadan.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_09: That's the hotel.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_09: This guy doesn't know he's talking about.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_10: I do have a weird relationship with my parents because, like, uh, I mean, they're immigrants.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_10: Which, to be clear, that's not the only reason that I don't like them.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_10: Um there's more to it.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_10: Well, what's particularly strange about our relationship is that for a lot of my life, my parents were illegal immigrants and they were strict at the same time, and I don't know how I let them get away with that.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_10: Yeah, because they'd be like, Wilford, you're in trouble because you didn't make your bed.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_10: And I should have been like, No, you're in trouble.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_10: I'm an American, okay?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_10: Like, I'm supposed to be here.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_10: Like, I get it, your house has rules, but so does my country.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_06: We actually uh we found out that my dad had another kid, which is crazy, right?
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_06: You always hear about that happening.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_06: You're like, mmm, we're not that trashy.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_06: Uh it happens and you're like, God damn it, dude.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_06: We found out my dad had another kid on the same day that I had to write his obituary.
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_06: Yes.
• 12:08
  SPEAKER_06: It's a mess-up day to begin with, okay?
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_06: And my mom, she throws us a little curveball and she just goes, Well, Mayor, are you gonna include the guy in the obituary?
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_06: I think he has a right to be in there.
• 12:20
  SPEAKER_06: Like, mom.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_06: This is supposed to be like a loving heart.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_06: What would I would I just be like, Anthony Santor Sr.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_06: was survived in life by his children?
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_06: Anthony Jr., Mary Lynn, and Carl?
• 12:38
  SPEAKER_06: He seems nice, we just met him.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_06: And it's funny because they say hindsight's 2020.
• 12:45
  SPEAKER_06: So now looking back on that situation from childhood, it makes so much more sense.
• 12:50
  SPEAKER_06: Because I thought we were watching shows like Maury and Jerry Springer just because we were poor and didn't have cable.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_06: Turns out dad was just showing us game tape.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_13: It's weird though, because I'm from Seattle, but I married into a very conservative family.
• 13:10
  SPEAKER_13: So I'm very liberal.
• 13:11
  SPEAKER_13: My mom's a Subaru Outback and Eddie Bauer edition.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_13: And uh But I'll say this: the conservative family is so much more fun.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_13: They're so much more fun.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_13: Because I'll go home to like a Seattle event and they'll be like, we're having a vegan macrobiotic spread.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_13: I've put out a piece of parchment for everybody to write their gratitude lists on.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_13: And for dessert, we're gonna thank the moon.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_13: And then I go to my conservative family's house and they're like, we're having beer, we got ribs, and after dinner we're gonna shoot hogs from a helicopter.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_13: Like that does sound more fun.
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_13: That sounds like a lot more fun.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_13: I'm vegan and that sounds fun.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_05: I know I'm not like a dude, you know what I mean?
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_05: That's not I'm not a dude.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_05: You know how I know is because I don't want to be an uncle.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_05: It's just, it's like a weird group of people that I'm not gonna sign up to be part of.
• 14:16
  SPEAKER_05: I don't like uncles.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_05: Nothing happened, it's just uh like they're just weird.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_05: I'm like, um, and it's weird that we all have that thing, you know?
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_05: That it's like the creepy uncle, that that's a trope.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_05: It's like why?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_05: There's no reason though, you know?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_05: It's not like you have to do something to become an uncle.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_05: There's no common trait.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_05: It's just a dude sitting in a room, and then their sister has a kid, and all of us are like, fuck you, pedophile.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_05: Like, there's no reason to be like that to them.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_05: But I get it a little bit.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_05: It's like they're weird.
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_05: I think the reason they're weird is because an uncle is like halfway between a father and a stranger.
• 14:56
  SPEAKER_05: That's like deeply unnatural.
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_05: You know, because a dad is sweet.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_05: A dad's like, we are so proud of the young woman you're becoming.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_05: And then a stranger will like stop you in the subway and be like, hey, nice tits.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_05: But an uncle is right down the middle, just like, you're really growing into your body.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_05: And it's like, oh, oh, that's worse than the bad one somehow.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_05: That's upsetting that you're like that.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: But I do have a very crazy mom.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_00: Uh she's first of all, she was a nudist.
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if anyone has naked mommy at home.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have a naked mommy at home?
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: No titties at home?
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, titties raised me.
• 15:41
  SPEAKER_00: It was nice.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: When you have a nudist mom, uh, she does everything naked, which includes beat your ass.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if you've had to run away from a naked person.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: It's a character-building moment.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: It is very hard to dodge a punch and two titties.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: You slip that punch and then the titty just hooks you, you know?
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_00: My mom was a southpaw.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: I had no idea.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: My mom was one of those parents that loved to rule through fear.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just wanted to scare you as much as possible.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: When I was uh a younging, I walked in on my mom watching the movie The Accused.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't know if you guys have ever seen this movie, but there's a scene in it, a very, very horrific scene, where the lead actress Jody Foster is getting gang raped on a pinball machine in a bar.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And that was the scene I walked in on.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_00: And unlike most moms who would just send their children off, get out of here, kid.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: My mom was like, Come here, Nikki.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_00: And she sat me down and we walked through that movie like it was game tape.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, You see what happened to that woman on that pinball machine in that bar?
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: That's what happens if you grow up and go to bars and talk to men.
• 17:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then she just sent me out into the world completely traumatized.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: To this day, I cannot play pinball without getting wet.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_00: It's impossible.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_00: Oh no.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: Came over.
• 17:24
  SPEAKER_00: Who's got a corner?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Very first time I ever had sex, I knocked up a lesbian that wanted to try out me.
• 17:34
  SPEAKER_01: 10th grade.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Very first time.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: Not like the cheerleader lesbian either.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Like me and my baby mama both look handsome at prom.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: And now he's 20.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_01: He's 20.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: I was there the entire time.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: It was so like my son now makes more money than me because, like, he does crypto.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_01: He's one of those crypto people.
• 17:57
  SPEAKER_01: He fouls it when he goes up.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_01: He'll bang.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: Like during the pandemic, my son was making maybe like$250,000 a year doing crypto.
• 18:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, and I still got to pay child support on my son until he turns 21.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: I was borrowing money from my son to pay child support on him.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_04: My parents, they're divorced, but they got divorced for good reason.
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_04: Um, when I was in eighth grade, uh, my mom actually came out as a lesbian.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_04: It's a sin.
• 18:31
  SPEAKER_04: Um I didn't make the rules.
• 18:42
  SPEAKER_04: You know, she's going to hell.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_04: So am I.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_04: But we we already bore for the Jew thing, but now it's just double hell.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_04: Um but yeah, she's a big old lesbo.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_04: Um, but you know, um, me and my siblings, we reacted as like anybody would uh when she told us, you know, we were like, okay, sick, like, you know, do a kickflip.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_04: Like, you know, like you can skateboard now, it's pretty sick.
• 19:07
  SPEAKER_04: Um But uh eventually uh my uh my mom and dad sat down, me and my siblings on the couch, and they had like the big talk with us.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_04: You know.
• 19:20
  SPEAKER_04: And um it was it was the divorce talk, it wasn't like a strange sex talk, right?
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_04: My mom wasn't just like here's what scissoring is, you know, like it's rare, but you might need it.
• 19:34
  SPEAKER_04: I wish she did that, it would have been helpful.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_04: Um but no, they uh they sat us down, and uh I'll never forget in this moment my dad, he was like he was such a big ally, right?
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_04: Because my dad in this moment uh he made sure to say to us, uh, kids, uh I'm not divorcing your mother because she's a lesbian.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_04: Uh I'm divorcing your mother uh because I hate her.