Latest / Man In Your Corner with Shaun Tucker / Ep. 54 | Founder Dad Burnout: Overcoming People-Pleasing to Lead with Presence and Mental Fitness
Transcript
- Shaun: Welcome back to the Reset Episode 54. How is it that you want to be remembered? Are you the dad, or the leader, or the founder, who wants to be remembered as, he got the job done, but he wasn't real nice about it? Or would you rather be remembered as, That guy inspired me. I remember him as being someone who went and got what he want, but did so in a way that made everyone feel valued. He never once told me to do something. He always showed me how to do it. He never made me feel like I was belittled, wasn't enough. He always made sure that I was okay. So how do you want to be remembered? For me the most important thing when it comes to this is not the specific stories about maybe you had all this money and then you lost it and then you got it all back. Because those are some great inspiring stories. I guess what I'm talking about is how you make people feel is the most important thing when it comes to leaving a legacy. Because if you're leaving material possessions, material objects, such as money, such as houses, such as assets, often times it's really hard to convey. what that actually took to get. And the thing that is remembered even more so is how you made someone feel. because if you're building a company right now, if you're even at home. And a part of you is still in that meeting that went sour earlier or still in that meeting that the deal didn't go through. But your kids who are growing up, who are only this age now, they're only this young today. They're looking at you and they're saying, hey dad, guess what? I had an amazing day today. And in your head, you see them. They see you, but you're not fully there. That is criminal. that's telling your child. that they're not worth your time. They're not worth your energy. And that to me is heartbreaking. and I share that with you because... so many times when We have our goals. We have the things we care about, the things that we're building in the world. Sometimes we forget why we're doing it. because there is this human condition that wants to be validated, wants to be seen, that wants to be approved. if you're playing the game just to be liked. by certain individuals or certain people. then you're gonna really have a hard time when it comes towards the end of your life or when you visit long past when you've finished this life and you see how your children are saying what kind of man you were. And if you're thinking, well I want to be remembered as a good man, a nice man, a kind man. This is all well and good as well. but the man who's nice, who's good, who is kind. often puts his needs last. Often he puts his needs last because he is too busy pleasing everyone else and there is something that silently eats him away. and that feeling of being eaten alive from inside. No one could see it. The only one who can really be with it is you. And if you are that person who's listening in right now, you're wondering if it's you. Well, I want you to sit with this. If you keep bending and letting everyone walk over you and letting everyone... Let you, make you do things that are coming at the cost of your own heart. You will be liked. But the question is, will you be loved? Will you be remembered? For the leader who did hard things. For the man who sacrificed. Not just for the sake of providing shelter and finances. But who sacrificed himself and gave himself to a life so that he could show everyone around him just how freaking awesome it is to be alive. Because one, one of those men, they do it for a lack of safety. They do it for a huge insecure based on insecurity. It's based on what society tells a man to do. What society tells man to be, how to be. One is afraid and one is courageous. One fears being vulnerable. The other one drops his shield to let others in. What kind of man do you want to be? Who do you want to be remembered as? What will your kids, what will the people who will remember you say about you? Cause those things, they matter. They matter more than what you leave behind. That's to me what a legacy is all about. It's how you are remembered. It's not them building a great statue about who you were and what you did. That might be part of it. But no, it's how you were actually allowing someone to feel around you. Do they feel safe? Do they feel? like you're taking them somewhere to experience life in more fulfillment, in more grace, in more ease. Or is it you're taking them to a place where you're starving them from their humanity? Starving them from the experience of... not being with yourself of trying to squeeze the orange as hard as you possibly can to get all of the juice out. Because what happens when you squeeze all the juice out of an orange is you'll move on to the next thing. And what if you saw the abundance of resource that that one orange had to offer? Because remember, if it's not a navel orange, it probably has seeds in it. And those seeds have the very information you can use to create your own orchard. So, if you want to be remembered for how you made people feel and your kids are talking about how great you are long after you've passed or even when you're still alive then I want you to book a Nicole with me that way we can get to know each other a little bit more because I have an exclusive retreat just for men like you. is coming up during May, it'll be in or around Melbourne. And this retreat is exactly for you. So we have an application and if you move successfully through the application process, we only have 10 places in this retreat. So go to www.shauntucker.com.au forward slash retreat. make sure you put your application in. This is for the man who's ready to drop all of his armor and be who he really is so that he can go home and show up for the people that he cares about and be remembered the way he wants to be remembered because he makes people feel around him. so much better for him being alive. So if you got value from this episode, make sure you share it with one person and thank you so much for tuning in. I look forward to seeing you in tomorrow's episode.