Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #184: Choosing Self-Love Over Cosmetic Changes

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Episode #184: Choosing Self-Love Over Cosmetic Changes · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

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Buttons. Hi, Welcome to tea time with Amy and Beth. A good
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day, good day, sister. Our things Oh good, so good.
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I have to say my pants, my pants. That that you know,
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how you wear clothes on a regular basis and you think they fit quote unquote
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fit, but they're actually a little snug. Well, most of my pants
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are not snug anymore. So I'm not sure are they actually fitting properly or
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are they too less? It just depends on preference. Really, I feel
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like, so that's just a fun thing in my life right now. I'm
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like, oh, that's awesome. He's actually supposed to fit like this because
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this feels really good. Well, and so to me, that's I talked
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to people about. You don't have to go out and lose weight, but
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when you find yourself in your and you're happy, when you're not losing weight,
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you're holding on this stuff and you're not happy, that's just really what
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it boils down to. It boils down to not being happy, not being
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in harmony, not being in balance. That's what it boils down to.
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It's simple, It's that simple. Get we get so caught up in a
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three D and think we got to go out on this, try this diet.
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We got to start doing this exercise, We got to start doing all
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these things. And those are all things outside of us, because that's just
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us avoiding dealing with the emotional feelings that we have with inside of ourselves.
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And I want to just say, I am so excited that you just said
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that because of what I wanted to talk about, which I hadn't discussed with
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you. Yeah, ah is being happy with yourself, feeling that love for
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yourself. But I'm gonna go in a little different direction with it in the
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sense of the topic. Last week I did a class and there was a
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lady there. Never met her before. She was a guest to somebody who
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who had been around for a little bit, and she came. She's visiting
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from out of town and she came and it the topic of past lives came
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up and reincarnation, and so we're having this conversation and I said, you
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know, this to me has a lot to do with people who are wanting
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to change their gender to be something else that it resonates with them in the
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sense of the gender, but their physical body isn't a representation of that.
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Meaning if I'm female, but I am attracted to women, then I feel
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like maybe I need to change my gender to male. That makes sense because
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a lot of that's happening, right, and vice versa. So what I
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explained to them, because we were talking about reincarnation, was listen, if
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you have several a few lifetimes, or maybe just the previous life where you're
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in that male energy and you're in a male body, and now maybe you
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had a very strong presence in that male body in the past life, or
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maybe you had several past lives in a road where you were in a male
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body, and now you come into this life and a female body, and
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there's that confusion about, so to speak, that you're attracted to women instead
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of men, and so now it does it brings up confusion within yourself because
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of what society teaches us that if you're female, you should be attracted to
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male, vice versa. And I said, if you had that strong presence.
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And really, some people that I've heard talk about reincarnation, they're like,
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I love my life as a man, and now I'm in a female
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body and I don't like it. Right, it's that adjustment, that that
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adjustment from a male body to a female body, and learning to to live
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in that space. But because of society programming or wanting to fit in or
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be accepted and loved, it's not okay to like women. Now. I
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know it's more acceptable now, but you know, when we were growing up
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it was not. So it's just thinking about or bringing that piece in and
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learning about yourself and learning about past lives and reincarnation and all that stuff,
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and go, Okay, now I understand why I'm feeling this way. But
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that's not a conversation yet. That's not I'm like, we don't have these
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conversations in the grocery store, right, And so I feel like there's there's
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the piece of loving yourself enough to be curious about yourself and to have some
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sort of understanding before it's before it's a decision that I need to go change
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my gender. Does that make sense what I just said? I hope I
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was clear in that. Yeah, I understand where you're coming from with all
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that. Yeah. And it's also when I when you're saying that stuff,
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it's also where you identify so much with the body, and it's not about
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the body. I'm even having a realization last night, which is interesting,
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of course. Oh it just kind of is part of the topic. Right,
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it's all timing, it's divine timing. But having the process of recognizing
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I'm not feminine or masculine, I'm I just am. And we get to
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the point where we identify so much, like even with the labels, identifying
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with my name and my story, and there's so much more to us than
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that, because that's very restrictive when we look at it that way, and
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it's recognizing that we're we're all right, it's back to that whole thing.
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We're all but we're nothing. So it's not being identifying, it's not self
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identifying with what you're being is it's finding that happiness because now you're you're closer,
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Like you're like I can hear green light. You're getting closer, right,
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it's getting greener, it's getting hotter when you're identifying with your body,
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but a little step further, you're going within yourself and now you're getting hot.
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Now you're recognizing why do I feel these emotions, why do I feel
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this lack? Why do I feel the need to change my gender? And
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and it's to each his own and and there's such a big lesson to be
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heard on the other side of that, it's it's not it's not our business,
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right, If that's what they want to do, it's not our business.
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And if if someone's trying to force it down your throat, then recognize
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what am I forcing down someone else's throat? You know what am I trying
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to push onto someone else? So it's it's so much bigger than we give
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credit to. So it's I find it interesting that you had brought that up.
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You know what when you started off conversation. It's us us letting go
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of like this identity of ourselves and clearing out the it's clearing out the cobboy,
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it's clearing out the stuff. Last week, I it was like a
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streak of events, right, it's always divine. Thursday night, I watched
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the Or. Friday night, I watched a cartoon with Freeman O. Gosh,
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Wonderland is what it was called, and it was about it was there
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was a message in there and it's a good mood. It's a good show
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to watch. So we watched that and afterwards, I'm like, I want
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to focus on my inner child, because my focus is being happy. I
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want to be happy, and I know that my inner child can be happy
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without judging, because children don't judge, they just are they're happy. Or
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if you irritate them, there might be pissed off for five seconds and throw
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a temper tantrum. I'm good with that. I can throw my temper tantrum,
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so it's recognized that. So I was like wanting to go find this
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particular picture that reminds me of my inner child, that this picture reminds me
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of a child that's very illuminated and everything's possible and they're happy and jovial,
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and it's like that was like the perfect picture. So I go looking for
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these pictures and then I find pictures of my mom when she was like seven
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years old and twelve years old, and I'm seeing pictures of my biological father
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with my mom and the time frames and it's like having curiosity. And next
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morning, I'm listening to the seatbelt Psychic and you know, these are all
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the thoughts that I've seen, you know, all these emotions I've had the
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night before. And then I'm listening to the psychic or seat belt psychic,
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seat belt psychic. I'm getting all my worth of crumbled up here. And
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he said he's giving a message to someone he says, your mom says from
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the other side that you need to get a hold of a hold of your
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dad. And I thought, how freaking amazing is this that the night before
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I'm having these these thoughts and then I'm like, holy shit, Framan like,
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listen, spirit's talking to me and this is what they're telling me.
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I know this is for me because it's a knowing withinside. And how do
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I know It's because I've taken the time to get to know that. I've
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taken the time to have an understanding. I'm not perfect at it by any
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stretch of the memes, but I do have more of a connection with myself
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because I'm not identifying just with the body, right, we were going to
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identify with the body in a lot of ways because we're in a human experience,
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but I'm going deeper than that. So I'm recognizing these things. So
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the next morning, I'm going to go to work because I had a few
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missaga that day, and Freeman is like, well, we're going to go
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buy that address that you have because I had he had tried to get a
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hold of me like a couple of years ago from this address and it had
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been transferred to me, and I never sent a letter, never did anything
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because I felt like I wanted to, but it wasn't time. And that's
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where we have to not beat ourselves up so much for we think that we've
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got to do things right now, and sometimes it's just not time. So
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it was like a seed being planted, like oh, I need to do
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this right. It's not that I needed to do it, but it was
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something that was coming to me to let me know, planning a seed.
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At some point this is this will happen because it's a benefit. It's not
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just a benefit to myself. It's a benefit to all right, because I'm
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not going to carry these cobwebs withinside of me anymore. So you know,
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throw in these old boxes that are stuffed away and I buried them and stuff.
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Because I haven't talked to my biological father for thirty two years. It's
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a long freaking time, hadn't seen him. So anyways, that morning,
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I'm like, I am not going to drive by someone's house out in this
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area and get shot. So that's like if I drive by it, I'll
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stop right Well then I get off work and he's like, well, are
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you gonna go buy it? And I'm like, no, I'm not.
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I don't know. I don't know. I don't know because I don't even
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know. I said, I'll just ride by and if there's someone standing outside.
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Right, this is the first address I had. And he starts looking
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online and he finds him by his first name, which he always has gone
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by his middle name and last name. So he looks him up and finds
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him on Facebook. I'm like, you have got to be kidding me.
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I have been looking for him. Right again, I remind myself it wasn't
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time. But the seed's planted, the seeds planned, the urge, the
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need, the desire has been planted within me. And it might not just
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be my desire. It might be spirit. It might be their desires,
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you know, my biological father and is the family and stuff. So going
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through this process and now that I'm through all of it, so I'm like,
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you know, talking to him afterwards, I'm like, well, I'm
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going to go buy it, and he's like, well, I just found
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this, found him on Facebook. So I sent him a message and then
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I'm like, immediately I get like a message, how long has he had
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that? When's the last time he posted anything? Twenty fifteen, right,
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So I'm like, okay, so that's not going to work, but my
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desire is getting bigger and bigger and bigger. Well, and I was like,
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I was really hoping. I was really hoping I was going to reach
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out to him at that time. And so he Freeman goes on to a
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page and he looks up and he says, oh, it shows him up
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on this street. And I'm like, but there's lots of addresses on that
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street. You know, I'm not going to drive up and down the street,
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and what is that gonna do for me? And then he goes out
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of it and goes back into the screen, and now it shows the full
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address. Oddly enough, he didn't pay for anything, but spirit again letting
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him know. I'm like, okay, I'll go check it out. So
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I drive by this address and they just happen to be having a freaking yard
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sell outside and there's a lady sitting in the front yard. So what did
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I say earlier? If someone's sitting outside, I'll stop. And I drive
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to the end the street and he's like, we are you gonna stop?
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I'm like, well, god damn it, I'll go ahead and turn around
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and go back then, so I turned her. So I got to turn
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around. So I turn around because I know, yes, is that the
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right thing to do? Yes, I've already set myself up. I've already
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spirit already let me know, like what was going to be my incentive?
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Really, it's this person standing outside. So I'm like, walk up and
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I say his full name, and I asked if he's here, and she's
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like, well, no, but he's my brother. And I said,
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well, I'm his oldest daughter. So from there, it's like she contacts
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him and he's there within matter of minutes. And it's been We've been getting
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to know each other because I don't know him. You know, you think
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you know your parents and stuff like that. Even my mom before she transitioned,
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I knew a lot about her, but I didn't know her. So
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now I'm getting to know my biological father, but from a standpoint, not
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from a victim. And it's like I told him. He apologized to me
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yesterday for being the father that he was, and I said, you know,
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sometimes our fathers aren't our parents aren't supposed to be there in our experience
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for whatever reason until now, And I said, I was in no space
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to accept you at any given moment, even if you would have apologized,
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I said, because I was being an asshole, And I said, I
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told, and I apologize to him from the way I had shown up a
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couple of times that he had shown up in my experience. So it's like,
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I say, get back, getting back to clearing out the cobwebs.
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It's not holding onto his stuff anymore. But I was ready to do that.
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I was ready for it. Now I know spirits been up to even
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writing letters to my stepdad or whatever because me trying to control it, because
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not wanting to have open communication on the phone, but being okay with sending
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a letter and you know, that's you know, that's it. But then
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I also would know my mind would start getting into the process of writing that
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letter, and older ferts would come back up again and recognizing it's not a
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bad thing. I don't have to beat my ass for this. I don't
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have to be upset because it's showing up, but being acknowledging that it is
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showing with showing up within me and it's okay, and it's okay. This
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it's okay because it lets me know where I'm at right now. So like
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all the spirit is amazing and and all these things how they happen are amazing.
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And I'm learning a lot, but I'm learning a lot about myself.
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And it's and I felt neutral during the this, during this whole process,
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I still feel neutral. We're still communicating and he brings me pictures and we're
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talking about stuff all the way back to you know, stuff I didn't remember.
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I didn't. I don't because I don't have that memory, but he's
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got the memory of it. So and also realizing that he was in he
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was in the arm he got out of the army. He was over and
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nom but he got out in seventy two when I was two years old.
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So it's like not knowing what was his experiences and not let alone because this
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is also on this side of the family, is where I received the sexual
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abuse was from his family or from his father. But it's like also recognizing
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not only did he have those experiences for whatever he had seen, right to
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see this person as a much bigger person or or give them credit for how
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they were even able to even capable of showing up. They're doing the best
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they can, right, are the best? Is it's so to rate it
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is, so that's so personal. You can't because it's on a personal level.
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So and then for him to have been over fighting and doing other stuff
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and being the military, it's like that's a lot. I had no clue
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that he even been married to my mom for eight years, no clue none.
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I thought it was like a blip, you know, because because I
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don't remember, I don't have a recollection of any of this stuff. So
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this all of the stuff kind of it kind of ties together. It's like
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all this growth part and it's it's and it's looking at the stuff within sight
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and then recognizing this wasn't just for my healing, this was for his healing.
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This was for his healing because he didn't feel like he had shown up
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the way that he probably would like to now, you know, being around
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grandchildren. And I asked if he had any other children besides my sister and
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I and he said no, that was it. He never had any other
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children. So that was a long time ago. Yeah, so that's crazy
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to have other relationships. But it's like it's just learning because as I'm getting
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to know him, I'm getting to know me. So's there's such a big
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picture with everything that we're talking about today. Yeah, that's awesome. And
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to be healing because you know, just like you said, not only are
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you healing for yourself, you're healing for him. And had that happened,
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what what kind of energy would have been taken forward and even into the next
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incarnation of the experience. Yeah, and our punishing, like we want to
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punish them, right, I mean not always, but I would say a
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lot of times when we receive trauma from whatever individual we want to, we
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feel like we want to punish them because we learned learned to be punished when
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we were children, So we've learned that. And it's to be beyond all
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that stuff because we're punishing, like you said, we're bringing we're creating karma,
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and we're bringing forward stuff maybe into our next lifetime because we're creating our
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next lifetime right now. And I and i'd rather create a lifetime where it
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looks completely different than how it has been in this lifetime. Yeah. And
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that's what I just keep thinking over and over is like the better I am
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this time, the bet you know, the better it is going to be
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next time, you know. And I don't know that for sure. I
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don't know what I'm going to choose to do next time or my spirit what
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my spirit's going to choose to want to experience and learn and grow from.
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And but if if karma is a piece of that, and I'm saying,
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if if karma is a piece of that, and I'm clearing up a bunch
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of that energy now from past to nat, like, how amazing for the
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next one, And even by me just thinking that the next life is going
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to be even more amazing, I'm already projecting that out there. So I
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know my spirit's hearing that and taking notes. But I I love it you
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shared that, and so many people are going to hear that and you know,
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hopefully take some steps in their own lives, in their own life of
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maybe clearing up some energy around relationships. And you know, it doesn't always
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mean you need to go contact the person and take the steps that Bev took.
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It could be just writing a letter and burning it just to move the
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energy out of the body. And I was going to say that to you
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too. It's like, maybe you're not ready to send the letter to your
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stepdad, but maybe you're ready to write the letter just to move the energy
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and get rid of that until you can clear some of that up to to
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be able to send him a message. So so hopefully that will help other
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people as well. Yeah, because that's a confirmation for me when you said
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that, because I was just discussing this with one of my other friends and
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she said the same thing, and I said, yeah, I was already
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think this is what I advised people, and I was already thinking about that.
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But to get rid of that's the stuff that I am holding on to
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you, right, the victim mentality like you did this to me, That
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defensiveness. Yeah, the pain, that's right, it's the pain of the
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little girl that's still there. That's that's wanting to be heard, but it's
18:37
through through the adult version. It's not coming out that way. It's still
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coming from the painful little girl. And so yeah, just wanting to punish,
18:52
wanting to punish back, right, blame and all this stuff. Yeah,
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yeah, So that the ideal time, like you're saying, to interrupt
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you, I mean when we were talking about that, but that is the
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ideal time to write the letters. That means that there's stuff inside of me
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that would be well heard on a piece of paper and destroy it and let
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go from the body instead of holding on to it. Yeah, one hundred
19:15
percent. So then if I do feel the need still to write that letter.
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So the letter right now at this point is just to write the letter
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I'm never going to send, yes, but it's still clearing up energy because
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it's clearing up the energy within yourself, and whatever you do within our body
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is projecting outward anyway. So it's still beneficial even though it's not being sent
19:37
through the mail to the person to read it, because even when that person
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receives it, it's going to be how they perceive the words. Wow,
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interpret what you're trying to convey, right, So we don't have any control
19:52
over that. And I'm just I'm going over this. I know you know
19:56
this information. I'm just going over it for the listeners to understand that we
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don't have any control on how people receive the way we're feeling or the words
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that we're expressing and how they react to them. We just we just don't.
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And so if it's if it feels more comfortable to you to write out
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like you're writing a letter to somebody, So, dear Bev, this is
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what you did to me, This is how it made me feel. This
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is how it's made me show up in life, and my life has sucked
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because of it, and all the stuff, write all that blaming stuff.
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Just do that and get it out of your body and move that energy,
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and then burn burn it, shred it, throw it away, get rid
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of it, don't hang on to it, don't reread it a hundred times.
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Just get rid of it. That's one of the things I do.
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And I write something like that, and I just write until I feel like
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i've I'm done. I don't. I don't go back and read them.
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I don't. I write, and then at the end I express some appreciation
21:07
or a gratitude for the experience in a way that I can proceie it because
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I know it was for my own growth and learning and healing and all that.
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And I'll thank the universe, God, angels, whoever. And I
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sign it, just like I was going to send the letter. I sign
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it, and then I'll go take it outside and burn it as fast as
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I can. So now I've never signed it. I've never done that before,
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but I have done the rest of it. And I'm glad that we're
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having this conversation again because it just reiterates what we've been talking about. But
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it also lets people know that we can go through these things too, and
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it's sometimes you can get lost in it, but we find ourselves out of
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it so quick. We don't stay in this space as long. It's like
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so fast that we recognize all the signs, right, And that's where the
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practice of looking at the angel numbers and paying attention to the license plates and
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just building the signs. You know what someone says, it's paying attention to
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all that because it really does align us within ourselves to be able to receive
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all this information. And we receive it so much quickly by because we're paying
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attention to how we feel. Yeah, and it goes back to I want
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to come back to what I was bringing up earlier, is you know,
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going and changing your body medically, changing your body to be something else.
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And it's it's similar to addiction. It's like you have this inner conflict or
22:30
chaos going on emotionally mentally, and you haven't been given the tools to deal
22:38
with it in the healthy manner. So you haven't been given the tools to
22:44
accept yourself that you're a female, but you're attracted to other females or your
22:48
male and you're attracted to males, and there's this inner conflict, and so
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if we change the external, then that's going to be a resolve. And
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it's going and picking up a bottle of liquor and thinking that's going to solve
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my problems. But yet when I wake up tomorrow, I'm still looking at
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me. I'm still I still have this container of all the stuff that I
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don't understand because I'm not taking the time to understand it. I'm still just
23:18
as confused. And the liquor didn't help it. Neither is the sex change.
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To me. That's my perception. And if that's harsh, I apologize
23:30
that that you're receiving it in a way that of harshness. But the idea
23:34
is investigate, be curious about ask questions to yourself about yourself. I mean,
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the more the more you give your time, energy, intention to yourself
23:47
and learning about yourself, the more fascinating you'll find that you and life is
23:52
because we energy, energy can be created or destroyed, and our spirits energy
23:56
and our spirit takes takes a body to have a physical experience over many lifetimes.
24:06
And when we understand that there have been people that have had past life
24:11
regressions who have recognized, oh my past. That's why I'm you know,
24:15
say past lives is that they've had either several past lives or the immediate past
24:21
life where they were male. Now they're in a female body. They had
24:25
a regression to go back and see, oh man, I really liked being
24:29
a male, I really liked I really liked women, and now I'm in
24:33
a woman's body. And they could because they had that understanding or got to
24:40
have that experience of a regression. It's like their whole world changes and now
24:45
they're embracing the female body, and then they have heterosexual relationships. And it
24:53
doesn't mean that that's going to happen to you. I mean, if you're
24:56
female and you're still attracted to females, then run with it. It don't
25:00
matter to me. What you do is as long as you're you're being a
25:03
good person. So be curious of an understanding of yourself. I just that's
25:12
all I ask of people, you know, is learn about yourself. I've
25:19
been I've been in that masculine energy for a very long time, and this
25:23
is why it resonates with me so much. I have for survival reasons in
25:30
the sense of you know, growing up an abusive household and molestation and all
25:38
the stuff, just for survival reasons. I've been in the masculine energy for
25:42
most of my life, but I also went through a period of time where
25:45
I was attracted to women. I just was, and I'm like, why
25:49
is that. Well, part of it, I knew was because the female
25:53
is nurturing, the feminine energy is nurturing, and I wanted some nurturing because
25:57
I wasn't getting it from the man masculine ever. And and then I was
26:03
like, oh, there's got to be more to that. And then when
26:04
I started learning about having male past lives, their past lives in a male
26:11
body, then that even made more sense to me. I'm like, wow,
26:15
it's and the more I learned about that, the less the desire of
26:21
a female relationship came up. It was just it just became, it just
26:26
disintegrated. Actually, I'm just like, oh, okay, now I understand.
26:29
Now I get it. That's that's interesting. You know, it was
26:32
really interesting and fascinating to me. And I'm just like, Okay, now
26:34
I understand. So it wasn't something outside of you, with something mirrored you
26:40
to embrace your feminine feminine side, right. It was just to draw you
26:44
into that space. And that makes a lot of sense to me. Well,
26:47
the more too, the more too that I leaned because of being in
26:49
the masculine energy for so long, the more I embraced my feminine energy,
26:56
nurturing myself and loving myself, then I was receiving what I was desiring,
27:02
which was I was desiring from another female. And yeah, in a intimate
27:07
relationship type of thing. Yeah, I was like, I have that for
27:12
me now. So I hear what you're saying, but it's to me,
27:17
it's having it's having that intimate relationship with your feminine withinside of yourself. It's
27:21
all. It was all mirroring to you exactly what you already had withinside of
27:25
yourself. And that was one thing I learned from you a long time ago.
27:27
Everybody's a mirror outside of you. If you're looking at somebody and you're
27:32
admiring them versus whether you're looking at them and finding fault in them, they're
27:36
a mirror. They're a mirror image of you. It might be exaggerated,
27:40
We've talked about that before. How can they how can feel so exaggerated?
27:42
Because it's like I'm not that bad, But who gets to grade you?
27:45
I mean, who gets to grade that scale? And that's all perspective as
27:48
someone else's perspective, right, and your own perspective. So it's like it's
27:52
an awesome thing, and it's even for me. So even filling the lacking
27:56
eye, I went in and got breast implants. I felt that lacking that
28:00
I and no matter nobody could have told me otherwise. Honestly, at the
28:06
stage of life where I was at then, no one could have told me
28:08
otherwise. And what was I looking for? More feminine? It had nothing
28:12
to do with the physical body. It had everything to do that mirroring for
28:15
inside of me because I was always the tomboy. I was always the masculine.
28:18
Anything he can do, I can do better. Like it was always
28:22
that way. I was competitive, I was in my ego a lot.
28:25
They're all that stuff, and it's it doesn't have to be that way.
28:30
Now, it's like, I just take my ego along. We just go
28:32
hang out together, enjoy life. I'm like, look, isn't this so
28:36
much more fun than that? Like what you were thinking in a second ago?
28:40
This is more fun, right, Let's have a blast. Yeah,
28:44
it is. But also at the same point, I understand where you're coming
28:47
from because that I was doing the same thing, needing that nurturing or all
28:51
the other things and then looking outside of self. But it was never to
28:53
be looked outside of self. It was never for me to do to change
28:56
my body. And for me at this point in my life, I don't
29:00
need them, like right, I'm with the currency that I want to have
29:06
coming in for me to go do something like that to remove them, I'm
29:08
good with that, to go through that process, But to be in that
29:11
process, I'm good because it was from a different part of my life.
29:15
It was from a part of my life that I needed something that was outside
29:18
of me to make me whole. And it was nothing outside of me that
29:21
was going to make me whole. It was me going within myself to find
29:25
that wholeness. That's where I'm at now, That's where the wholeness is at.
29:29
If you're if you're not accepting of yourself and you're really beating yourself up
29:33
and judging yourself for all the things you've done in your life, it doesn't
29:37
matter how much cosmetic surgery you have done, you present have your inner self
29:41
to your mental and emotional stuff to look at. And it's no different than
29:48
while I'm leading that I'm leaving Arizona. I'm going to go somewhere else to
29:52
pay things are going to be better, And it's like, well, wait
29:55
shit, there, I am a American. Hey, I still have my
29:57
back exactly. So it's the same. It's all the same, and it's
30:02
just from a different perspective for everybody to kind of take a look at it
30:07
and see how we can change things. Because it's never running away from a
30:10
situation. It's why is this showing up for me? Or how is this
30:12
showing up for me? Or what can I learn from this? And isn't
30:17
that interesting? I'm having these emotions inside? What do I do with these
30:19
emotions? Like, it's just asking those questions from within yourself, because within
30:23
yourself you have all the answers that you need. It will guide you on
30:26
the right path. It's not going to lead you astray. But you got
30:30
to listen. Yeah, yeah, yes, so you know, I just
30:42
say, you know, it doesn't matter where you go, there you are
30:45
and and and you attract the same people because you're still in the same energetic
30:51
space with yourself. And so how many times has a person who has a
30:59
drug addiction and they go to rehab and they're like, okay, well,
31:03
you know, maybe let's just say their parents are involved in parents are like,
31:07
okay, well we got to get you out of the environment that you
31:10
were in that created this problem. So now you're going to go You're going
31:12
to go live with Aunt Mary in another state. And what happened ow to
31:19
rehab? They go to another state, They still attract they still find a
31:26
group of people who are doing drugs and then get right back into it.
31:30
Because we're creators, we're master creators. So good this stuff is so good
31:37
it is, but it's like, what are you creating? What I mean,
31:41
what are you really wanting to create? And then haven't the experience of
31:45
things that you really don't want in your experience? And I'm looking at it
31:48
and immediately knowing it's a gauge to let you know, what do I want
31:51
out of this experience? What would I like to see? And it's like
31:53
immediately you're creating something else if you can get into that pattern, And that's
31:59
what I that's my process. This is like it's not just one thing,
32:02
it's many things. For myself, Like when someone comes in to me for
32:05
massage and they're complaining about their shoulder. Well, it's never just one thing,
32:08
there's several things, because it's because we've created it. We've created a
32:14
problem where we've ignored the problem so much that has to show up in our
32:16
body to let us know there's a problem. Hello, there's a problem,
32:21
something that's not right here. And it's not a bad thing. It's not
32:23
like you're being punished, because you're not being punished. It's something. The
32:28
latter it gets, the easier it is to see, the easier it is
32:32
to hear. I get to hear from people who are involved in a it's
32:42
called a re entry program, which I think personally they need to change the
32:46
name of that, but it's re entry back into life after being in prison
32:52
or in prison, and so trying to help people to I'm going to use
32:58
the terms better themselves so they can come back into society and live a good
33:01
life. Blah blah blah. Anyway, the crimes that have been committed are
33:09
the crimes that were committed because of where they were with themselves, with the
33:14
information and knowledge and wisdom they have at that time. And to me,
33:17
just like with all of us. I don't care what level you're on.
33:22
In order for anything to change in your life, there are things within yourself
33:25
that has to change. So beliefs, habits, patterns, programming, all
33:32
the stuff that you got from your significant adults in your life from zero to
33:37
seven years old, that you downloaded, all their stuff that you're operating from
33:43
as an adult. All that's a package. And it's not to say that
33:49
to overwhelm people, to say, okay, until your life can't change until
33:52
all of this stuff is cleared up. That's not the point. The point
33:57
is pick one thing, one thing to implement, and start working on it
34:01
because the universe, like BEV talked about earlier, the universe is going to
34:07
guide us. So my guidance was somebody gave me a book. I read
34:14
the book. It fascinated with me, It resonated with me. I was
34:17
like, there was so much information in it that I just like, I
34:20
need to know more about this. Then it was a psychic medium telling me
34:23
everything that happened to me in my life from conception until that point I was
34:28
sitting in front of her, which was in my early thirties, even things
34:31
I had never told anybody about and from there, she's telling me, I'm
34:35
a healer, I need to do energy work. So I started doing that
34:38
after three years of her pushing me about it and me denying it. And
34:43
from there it started into coaching and classes and then just six blossomed. And
34:47
so universe is going to guide us. But you got to start. You
34:52
just got to start doing your process of your healing, or your desire to
34:59
make changes within yourself, or your desire to have a more joyful life,
35:07
just even a glimpse of joy. Some people don't even a joy and you
35:10
just get that glimpse of joy. But you have to do something different.
35:15
And once you take that step, then you will be guided along the way
35:20
if you are open to receiving those signs like BEV, we'll shoot. Somebody's
35:23
sitting outside and I said, if they're sitting outside, I gotta stop.
35:28
So the universe gonna guide you. We just gotta listen and follow and and
35:34
and take the steps, take the action steps on our part before what we
35:38
were asking for. Yeah, it's pretty awesome. It is divine. Yeah,
35:46
so good it is. And it's just it's that makes it fun,
35:53
that makes us journey fun. And then to recognize where I'm at, and
35:57
then that's I went to. I had a I went to a sweat lodge
36:00
on Sunday, so that was on Saturday, and of course we were around
36:02
the full moon, and like all this stuff was happening, but it was
36:06
just like divine and even driving along, I'm not driving and my friends driving,
36:10
and it's like in the past I would have been like freaked out about
36:14
someone else driving and then some of the things that was going on, but
36:16
I just pulled myself back in. I knew that I was protected. It
36:20
didn't matter, and it's like I'm going to live the experience and have the
36:24
experience. We don't live when we're in fear. And I have not lived
36:28
most of my life because I was in fear. Because I had children,
36:30
I had something that could be taken away from me, and like all that
36:35
stuff that I I recognize now that nothing can really be taken away from you.
36:38
And it's like they were not mine. We're all connected. It's my
36:43
perspective on things that's so different. But feeling the neutrality that I have in
36:45
myself, even feeling neutral when I'm even approaching certain you know, the whole
36:50
experience with my biological Dad. You know, father, it's like even having
36:53
that full experience, having the conversation and stuff, and now I have conversations.
36:58
I just asked them straight up question and it's like because I'm curious,
37:01
I'm curious, and I'm which also leads them to know that I'm open too.
37:06
I'm open to hear what you've got to say. I'm open to hear
37:08
what your information is. I'm open for your questions, whatever questions you have
37:13
for me. So it's it's just a it's just all divine and like I
37:17
said it to me, it makes the journey, It makes the journey worth
37:21
living, It makes the experience here. Gosh, it feels so much better
37:25
to resolve a lot of these things instead of holding someone in darkness, like
37:30
condemning them. It's instead of being in that space where you're doing that stuff,
37:32
because when the only person you're holding in darkness and condemning is yourself,
37:37
and I can I can give you examples on so many different levels for that,
37:42
but it doesn't need to be done. It's just we all have our
37:44
own ways that we're doing stuff and when we're when we're doing that someone else
37:46
to punish somebody else. Gosh, for the longest time. Even for like
37:51
Jim, I was trying to punish him. I was trying to punish him
37:53
for his drinking because he wasn't listening to me, he wasn't obeying me and
37:58
stopping stopping doing what I didn't what I perceived is a bad thing to be
38:01
doing. And it wasn't my thing to perceive that was wrong. That was
38:06
his experience. It's for us to embrace them and love them anyways. It
38:09
doesn't mean you have to We've talked about this million times and they don't have
38:12
to be around you all the time. But at that time I had I've
38:16
committed to a marriage and we were committed to each other and stuff. So
38:21
it's like it's being in that awareness of a lot of that stuff and then
38:23
recognizing even letting go of a lot of that stuff. Those titles and those
38:28
labels again, because it doesn't define who we are. We're trying to define
38:32
who we are from a story standpoint. We're not defined by our story.
38:37
Our story doesn't follow us everywhere we go after we leave these physical bodies.
38:40
I don't believe ye are the things that we've done that the people that we've
38:45
touched, the hearts that we've healed or grown or nurtured, including our own.
38:52
That's what goes with us. The love that we shared and the love
38:55
that we felt for others, and just how we can just so love help
39:00
another person without expectation, just being in those places. Those are the things
39:05
that make the difference. We're looking for these big huge signs of these big
39:08
huge examples of how we're supposed to live our lives and everything else and what
39:15
our purposes, and it's like it, there's so much more to that than
39:19
that. And then I remember hearing someone say, well, what's our purpose
39:22
to love each other? Is like, what the hell am I going to
39:23
do with that? How do I? How do I earn an income?
39:27
Doing that? That's not the purpose because you're looking at it from how do
39:30
I earn an income? Is looking at from a third three D, that's
39:34
looking from a planet based, an earth based relationship, and it's not like
39:37
that. It's it's filing, following your path and listening to the guidance and
39:43
receiving the love and giving the love, and the next thing, you know,
39:45
everything's working out great. Just like we've talked about in the very beginning,
39:49
when you're happy, your weight finds its balance. It just will.
39:52
It's not something you have to practice at you don't have to go freaking run
39:54
on the on the treadmill for three hours or watch every single meal. I've
40:00
done all that stuff. But I also know that just being happy reflects on
40:05
the body. It reflects from inside out. So no matter what you're doing,
40:08
then then you're like eating cake and ice cream and everyone's looking at you
40:12
and like, God, she doesn't put on anyway. Well, guess what,
40:14
I'm loving that cake and ice cream as I'm having it. I ate
40:16
a pop tart last night and I loved it. I was in full bliss
40:21
of that pop tart. I'm just saying good before I got before it got
40:24
t depically engineered. But but yeah, I was appreciing. I wasn't in
40:30
that space like, oh God, I shouldn't have this candid that. You
40:32
know, I could find a million reasons from a three D perspective why I
40:36
shouldn't have it, But no, I was enjoying it. I was reveling
40:38
in the flavor of it, the taste of it. I was enjoying every
40:42
bite. So it's like just being happy because those things don't affect us when
40:46
we don't have all the everything tied to it, like everything tied to it,
40:52
Like every commercial we hear, oh gosh, you gotta quit eating this,
40:54
and you got to quit doing this, you better start taking these pills,
40:57
and you gotta do this, all these things, and it gets kind
40:59
of confusing in these systems, these bodies that we're in right now, because
41:02
we've got everybody's ideals of what they think that you should do. Whether it's
41:07
propaganda, whether it's someone else trying to make money off of you, whether
41:09
it's someone else trying to make sure that we don't live to be one hundred
41:13
and fifty or whatever, it doesn't matter, Like all that stuff doesn't matter.
41:15
That's placing blame. And we're connecting all these things to is like pin
41:20
the tail on the donkey. We don't have to accept it. We don't
41:22
have that's not it's our beliefs. And it's like I was thinking about even
41:27
recently too, it's not I used to always think I want to go back
41:29
to the age twenty eight body wise, parents wise, why, I don't
41:31
know that was a number that stuck out. But on the other side of
41:35
that, it's not an age. It's not a number, it's what does
41:38
bliss look like? To me? What is joy and health? And when
41:42
I start rising higher and higher and I start asking myself these questions and I'm
41:45
within myself, then I'm being shown a different version of myself that I haven't
41:50
already been in this lifetime. So it's like it's we limit ourselves, like,
41:54
Okay, I want to go back to twenty eight. Well, I
41:55
don't want to go back to twenty eight. I don't want to be that
41:58
twenty eight year older again. But what does what does my life look like
42:02
from the energy standpoint that I am right now, not from an age standpoint,
42:07
but from the energy standpoint. Yeah, And that's that's what you're doing,
42:13
Like hypnosis and reprogramming, is you think about a time. So every
42:19
everybody's had a glimpse of joy or happiness in their life, even if it
42:22
was just a moment of petting a super happy dog or watching a dog be
42:28
playful, We've experienced some kind of piece, little glimpse of joy, and
42:36
you, in your visualization, you bring that up, that that memory,
42:42
bring that up, you feel into it, fully embracing that moment and then
42:49
embody that and then imagine what your life would be like from that space as
42:54
you're moving forward. So similar to what you're talking about, it's like we
43:00
we we're focused on our reality. We're focused on what's in our face,
43:06
and we don't we get into the heaviness of it, and we forget about
43:12
those glimmers of joy and so just set just take two three rounds of breathing
43:17
and just bring up a joyful moment and embody that and then that's the way
43:24
the rest of my day is going to be. Is this feeling, this
43:29
sensation that I have right now, and open your eyes and then see what
43:35
happens. It's magical, it's so cool, it's it's makes a scion spot.
43:40
It's the feeling. It's getting like you said, it's getting into the
43:44
feelings, it's getting into the feel good spot. Because we're always creating,
43:47
so we want to be creating it from the feel good spot, like you're
43:50
saying, which is important. If anybody has the opportunity to go listen to
43:54
Alex Ferrari Next Level Soul interview they GIS did with Athena and Truth and it
44:00
does talk about some of this stuff as well, and that she talks about
44:02
some other stuff, but it's a very good interview. So I'm just sharing
44:05
that out there. It feels like it's a good thing to share, but
44:08
it is. It's different perspectives on all this stuff, and it just because
44:13
sometimes we got to hear it from another person. Yeah, so sometimes it's
44:16
that third party person that we hear it from, you know, once we've
44:20
already heard it from Ami and Bev, now we're going to go hear it
44:22
from somebody else, right, But it's a lot of the same stuff,
44:24
right, But it's creating and also thinking the day thing in the day as
44:30
if it already happened, like thank you for this beautiful day, Like I
44:34
am so thankful for this whole magnificent day that I've got to experience. And
44:37
it's like being appreciated because we're creating right now. But of course, again
44:42
you don't want to be creating from the space because we're always creating. But
44:45
are you creating from a space of black? I don't feel good, I'm
44:49
not happy right now? Or are you creating? And if you're not happy
44:52
right now, then maybe now it's not time to go. And there I
44:53
started having that meditation. Maybe now it's not the time to go and then
44:55
get to that space until you can get yourself a little bit higher into a
44:59
high or vibrational frequency. Find something that you know that makes you laugh.
45:02
Find something that you know that like soothes your soul. If it's watching kittens
45:07
and puppies, babies laughing, if it's listen to your favorite comedian, it's
45:10
like it's find the ways to uplift you. It's just good reminders if you
45:15
can't, I mean, if you're in a space where you can't bring yourself
45:22
to laugh or feeling any joy, you're just really in your own heaviness of
45:27
emotion. Go punch a pillow and yell and scream. Go write that letter
45:32
of emotional heaviness and move the energy. Go go punch the air. I
45:38
don't know, just do something. Maybe you have a you're taking a jiu
45:43
jitsu class, and you can go throw somebody on the ground in a safe
45:47
and healthy environment where you're learning those moves. But do something to move the
45:53
heavy emotion and then then go watch those puppies and kittens and babies laughing and
46:00
all that. But yeah, sometimes you're just sometimes we're just in a space
46:06
where you're just like I'm gonna be fucking miserable and that's the way it is.
46:09
And I nobody else is gonna tell me i'd live my life right,
46:13
Okay, But you're creating from that space. Even I still need to remember
46:17
that, Oh girl, you're you're creating from this space. You better be
46:21
mindful of what you're projecting, and just making a shift, making a mindset
46:27
shift, making an energetic shift, and doing something different and then filling it,
46:34
not trying to push it away or push it aside or ignore it.
46:37
And oh it doesn't matter, because all that does matter. It's also being
46:42
in that space of filling it and embracing it and grabbing holding your inner child
46:45
and taking them for a walk and taking your ego with you. You go
46:49
on one hand, inner child on the other hand, and you guys are
46:52
going out and having a celebration. Go for a walk, go for a
46:54
hike, go for something that kind of burns out your energy a little bit,
46:58
Go clean out your go do some of your work. That's very beneficial.
47:02
You can see that, Yeah it is, it's just being outside,
47:06
but all that the exertion and stuff makes you it can help your chemical levels
47:10
in your body too. And then you know, I just kind of a
47:16
side note. You know, BEV and I have been talking about Next Level
47:21
Soul podcast by Alex Ferrari, and he just did an interview with another interview
47:25
with Suzanne Geeseman, Yes, Suzanne Geman. It was a really good interview,
47:31
and she brought up that the titles of his podcasts of each episode,
47:40
and he he he comes from the movie industry and he understands how these drama
47:50
type titles attract viewers. But I'm telling you they might sound like, ooh,
47:58
that sounds negative. I've watched almost every episode that he has done in
48:04
the past year, and they're incredible. And BEV and I, if they
48:08
were negative type interviews, BEV and I would not be promoting them by now,
48:15
but he does. So the title is just to draw the people in,
48:21
which is funny. Yeah, incredible, And Susan's like, I understand,
48:24
she goes She said, even though I don't agree with the way you
48:27
title things, and and so they had this playful conversation about it, and
48:30
she was, I understand why you do it, but doesn't mean I have
48:34
to agree with it. So yeah, because if I hadn't been listening to
48:37
him already in the past some of them. And to be quite honest with
48:40
you, whenever I see any how they're advertising it, whether where he's advertising,
48:46
I have not watched some of those videos because I'm not drawn to that.
48:50
Now. I'm not I'm not the collective. You know, a lot
48:52
of people are drawn to that drama and all that stuff, and for me
48:54
it's like off putting. So for me sometimes I won't even watched those videos
48:59
but because of the advertisement, and then it'll show up in again and again.
49:02
In my experience, I'm like and I'll be like, Okay, I'll
49:04
watch it, and then I find out that I enjoy it. But but
49:07
I am not drawn to those things. But like you just said, it's
49:12
there. His video stuff are not like that. They're very good. There's
49:16
always something to gain from all of them. They're always positive it. All
49:21
that is is an advertisement to grab a hold of people's attention. Because,
49:24
like he said, there there was a video they had shared of Susanna.
49:28
I think it was their first video and he hardly had they had like a
49:31
certain number of people that had watched it, and then he changed what he
49:35
had advertised on it and yeah, same video, and then it was over
49:38
like a million or something like that. Don't remember what it was, but
49:40
it was a much higher number because people are looking for that drama, for
49:45
that energy, and it's like, so just just knowing that it's not a
49:50
bad thing at all, and that's things. And now that I have that
49:54
information, I mean, I understood that before even after that his videos for
49:59
a while and I I look at the title, I'm like, ooh,
50:00
it's probably gonna be a good one, right, So I see, I
50:05
have come to see beyond that title. But what I look at is the
50:12
title and how long it is, because what I've noticed is if they're right
50:15
about an hour or longer, they're good. Yes, good. So those
50:22
are the ones I look for now, Yeah, oh this one's this one
50:25
now hour longer, that's the ones I look for. I hear you because
50:32
I've done the same thing. But it's also comes down to what what resonates
50:36
with us really, and that's kind of what we're drawn to anyways. And
50:38
I'm listening to Athena this morning, and she's even talking about we go through
50:43
times in our lives that like we might be like diving completely into like all
50:47
the spirituality and everything, and there's gonna be days that we need a break
50:52
from it, honestly, and it's not because I, oh, gosh,
50:54
I gotta go meditator, I need to do these things. Maybe you don't
50:59
need to do any of the those things right now because you've got to be
51:00
able to digest and process what's going on with inside the body, and it's
51:05
all part of the process. It's not doing it all at one time,
51:07
even though we are geared certainly to have things done all at one time,
51:13
like let's get it done onto the next thing, because if we got everything
51:15
done all at one time, it's like, then what it won't be here?
51:19
Right? This makes it more fun. But I feel like we're getting
51:22
to those points where we haven't understanding it, where the then what is so
51:28
because the then what is to love even more? But because now we fill
51:30
it on such a different level that it's not only palpable for us, but
51:35
then others that are around us when we're having these experiences can fill it as
51:38
well. Yeah, and when we talk about loving other people, you are
51:45
the main person to love because whatever you do for yourself is easy to do
51:51
for others. So when you're in that space of loving yourself, so much
51:55
easier to express love towards others. So and something else that made sense too,
52:01
Like we've talked about before, like going out and helping others, you
52:07
know, helping and do other things. And one of the things that I
52:09
heard Athenis say recently from one of the videos, was she was talking about
52:15
we automatically get out of the way, Like if I'm sitting here and I'm
52:16
like, I really wish Amy the very best. I want her to have
52:21
the best health, the best abundance, And when we're feeling those ways about
52:23
someone else, we completely step out of all of our blocks and we start
52:29
receiving the same thing. So I'm not telling you to go out and do
52:30
that for everybody, but to really be in that feeling place where you're really
52:35
feeling that when someone wins a lottery, like I am, I'm actually thankful
52:38
that they won the lottery, I really am, And to be in that
52:42
space and I hope that they find their joy instead of having that negativity that
52:45
might be attached to it, of jealousy, of wanting, lack, you
52:49
know, all these other emotions that go along with it. Because it's not
52:52
because it's going to bring the lottery to me, but it's like it's it
52:54
gets me out of the way, and maybe my block's regarding money, or
52:58
my blocks regarding a relationship, or my blocks regarding anything. When we're well
53:01
wishing and we're really feeling that for another person, because we're taking the spotlight
53:07
off of us, we totally are. We don't have any of the blocks
53:10
anymore because we're looking and we're giving all this love and this emotionless feelings and
53:15
thoughts to this other person. It's totally uplifting us because it's like all of
53:21
our shackles that we've put on ourselves are not even there, they don't exist.
53:23
And now we're completely open to receiving. And that's why we talk about
53:28
doing for others. Really does it does make a big difference. But before
53:32
I was in the space if someone said to do that, it's like,
53:36
no, I don't have anything else to give others. And that's okay because
53:39
I had to go through the process to understand what that really means. It's
53:43
not giving from an empty checking account, an empty cup, an empty home,
53:49
whatever it is. It's not from the empty, it's not from the
53:52
lack. It's from a different space of that. It's from a really wanting
53:55
others to do well and to be well, and to be joyful and happy
54:00
and not holding yourself in the darkness or holding anyone else in the darkness.
54:02
That's really uplifting. And it's not because I'm saying to go out and do
54:07
that because of this, but there's a benefit. You get all the benefits
54:10
from that just by being in that space. So instead of going out there
54:15
and spending all the money you can on one person, it's like just being
54:19
in that joy for that person because you're giving them so much more than this
54:22
three deep perspective of money. There's so much more to abundance than just money.
54:29
So cool, that's the way I heard it. I mean taking all
54:32
of that and putting it in a nutshell is bless that which you want.
54:37
So if somebody else won the lottery, be excited for them, send them
54:43
love that they have all the joy in their life. Whatever it is,
54:46
bless that which you want, so it'd be curious and excited. Like so
54:53
if you want the lottery, be curious inside, like I wonder what she's
54:55
going to do next, I wonder what's gonna happen. I wonder what they're
54:58
going to create. Excited this this is such an opportunity and when we're like
55:02
that, it actually helps us to to kind of grow and evolve and and
55:07
see things from a different perspective and we enjoy life so much better, so
55:12
much more. It's it's more peaceful and joyful. Yeah, so good,
55:17
fulfilling. Yes, it's amazing how time goes by. It's already been an
55:22
hour. Can you believe it now? It's like, no wayzy, I
55:29
just I appreciate the conversation to me is amazing. I love it. And
55:34
we could go on and on and on for sure, but so thank you
55:39
for your time and energy of being here. And I just want to throw
55:45
this out there to the audience because I sent a message to bev of a
55:51
screenshot or something and I was like, oh my gosh, this is in
55:57
New Zealand and Poland and the numbers beth that I was talking about temperature,
56:02
and it's like I did not clarify what it was. Our podcast has been
56:10
watched in New Zealand and Poland, and so I wanted to share that with
56:15
the audience to let them know that it just takes one person, one person
56:20
to make a difference. And that's whether you share a book share information that
56:24
you learn from a teacher, sharing somebody's podcast, whether it's ours. We
56:29
talk about Next Level Soul, we talk about Suzanne Geeseman, We've talked about
56:34
several others like it takes one person to help spread the word, and there's
56:39
no there's an energy investment, but there's no financial investment. So there are
56:45
plenty of things to do out there that's for free that you can help people
56:49
grow and expand in their businesses and in their in their helping him be that
56:52
that light for others. No. Same as on social media. I'm gonna
57:00
particularly say Facebook that that just to like a small businesses post or to share
57:08
it or to invite your friends to like their page. There is no financial
57:14
investment for you in that, but a little bit of it, a little
57:17
bit of energy, but only doing those things that resonate with you and feels
57:22
good to you and know that it's going to help other people. So with
57:24
that, thank you for who whoever and however these these videos are getting out
57:31
into other countries. To me, that's exciting and and a blessing. It's
57:38
it's an honor to be heard by other people of other countries and knowing that
57:45
it's it's spreading, so yay. Thank you for doing all that advertising and
57:55
putting it out there. All the work you do on the other part of
58:00
the whole spectrum that people don't see. Yeah, that's it too. People
58:06
don't see the behind the scenes of everything it takes to do these things,
58:10
and they're just like, oh, you just record a video. Well yeah,
58:14
but there's a lot more to it. So anyway, thank you so
58:19
much everybody for your time and energy, for being with us, for watching,
58:22
for sharing, you know, share your comments, questions. We love
58:27
to come back to those, read them, reply to them, and just
58:31
you know, be connected to us and through through the videos, through our
58:37
social media, getting on getting on our email lists, whatever however you want
58:43
to get connected. So with that, thank you so much. Create an
58:46
amazing day, amazing week, and we'll see you. We'll see you when
58:50
we see you. That's right. Take care, everybody, Come bye.