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The 5 Steps to Set Wholehearted Goals · The Wholehearted Enneagram Podcast

0:00
SPEAKER_00: Hi friends, welcome to the Simply Wholehearted community.
0:03
SPEAKER_00: I'm Amy Wicks, Enneagram Coach, and your personal guide to living your best life.
0:08
SPEAKER_00: Here at Simply Wholehearted, we enjoy talking about the gospel message your heart was created to hear, Enneagram insights, and how you can be confident that you are the best mom.
0:20
SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is a special one because, well, it's my birthday.
0:25
SPEAKER_00: And it's not just any birthday, it's my 40th.
0:29
SPEAKER_00: Man, you guys, I still feel like I'm 25, so I'm not sure how this really is true, but I'm believing 40 will be my best year yet, and I'd love to share that confidence and hope with you.
0:43
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, this is my first episode I've recorded with our new puppy dog, Hope Maple.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: And I don't think she is as quiet as I thought she would be.
0:54
SPEAKER_00: So if there's some weird noises like sighing and other strange noises, well just know that is Hope Maple here.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: And she wanted to say hey, and I hope you've had fun seeing her on the Instagram.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: And I know no one really cares about your dog except for you, but I'm having fun posting about her, so there.
1:14
SPEAKER_00: Now, because I nerd out on gold setting and planning, today I'm going to give you five steps to set wholehearted goals.
1:21
SPEAKER_00: Because friends, goals are just nice ideas if we don't have heart behind them.
1:27
SPEAKER_00: And to know where we want to go, we need to learn about where we've been.
1:33
SPEAKER_00: Now, as my birthday happens to fall in that week I dub no man's land, you might know what I mean.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: We all sprint towards Christmas, we barely catch our breath, and that big moment happens, and then we fall into some sort of daze.
1:49
SPEAKER_00: We can't remember what day it is, when our kids last bathed.
1:53
SPEAKER_00: We hope it was right before the Christmas Eve service.
1:55
SPEAKER_00: And we've stopped trying to keep track of how much sugar we've consumed before noon every single day.
2:01
SPEAKER_00: Okay, well maybe it's just me.
2:03
SPEAKER_00: But you guys, both my husband's and my daughter's birthday is just days before Christmas, and we always travel at some point different directions to see all the extended family, so it's busy.
2:15
SPEAKER_00: I love it, really I do.
2:17
SPEAKER_00: And this year has been our best yet.
2:19
SPEAKER_00: But my carrot to the finish line is that week where I get to start thinking and dreaming about the new year.
2:26
SPEAKER_00: So for my birthday each year, my birthday gift, my husband has learned to indulge me and my goal-setting nerdiness.
2:34
SPEAKER_00: And we go out to breakfast because it's my favorite meal of the day.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: We gorge on something gluten-free, of course, and high calorie, and we talk about what we learned about this last year, all the things that we're about to finish, and what we are hoping for in the year to come.
2:49
SPEAKER_00: To be honest, some years have gone better than others.
2:52
SPEAKER_00: There may have or may have been tears involved in a few of them.
2:56
SPEAKER_00: Misunderstanding, misplaced expectations, and general disappointment happen.
3:01
SPEAKER_00: So one thing we have learned to do is pray.
3:04
SPEAKER_00: We pray together before we start the conversation, but we also submit our time to the Lord on a daily basis leading up to my big birthday date.
3:13
SPEAKER_00: Because here's the deal: we have an enemy who would like nothing better than to squash all the goodness the Lord has for us and for you and to jade our hearts so we don't remember to be grateful for all the Lord has done for us in the past.
3:28
SPEAKER_00: Each year, our time and this date gets much better, especially as we learn to posture our hearts and submission to the Lord.
3:38
SPEAKER_00: Now here's what I'm wondering.
3:40
SPEAKER_00: How did your 2019 go?
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Was it full of goodness and frivolity and fun?
3:47
SPEAKER_00: Maybe there was heartache, trial, and frustration.
3:51
SPEAKER_00: Or perhaps it was similar to mine, a mix of all of the above.
3:56
SPEAKER_00: There was lots of blessing in our home and in my life, but there was also plenty of tough moments that we are still navigating through.
4:04
SPEAKER_00: Now, when you think about 2019, can you remember the details?
4:09
SPEAKER_00: I know, right?
4:10
SPEAKER_00: Mm-hmm hard.
4:11
SPEAKER_00: Maybe you just have some vague feelings about the last 12 months.
4:15
SPEAKER_00: Maybe last January feels like a decade ago, and summer is just a fuzzy memory.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: It's really not always easy to retrace our year, especially in one sitting, right?
4:26
SPEAKER_00: But I have a simple way to help you learn about 2019.
4:33
SPEAKER_00: You may have heard me say this a few times.
4:35
SPEAKER_00: Are you catching on?
4:36
SPEAKER_00: The word is learn.
4:38
SPEAKER_00: Well, I'm gonna explain a little bit more about this.
4:40
SPEAKER_00: So not long ago, my middle kid, her name is Haiti, uh, sounds like the country spelled a little differently.
4:47
SPEAKER_00: Yep, she always wants to make sure I clarify that.
4:50
SPEAKER_00: But she is my middle kiddo, and she wanted to make up our daily ride home from school.
4:56
SPEAKER_00: She was inspired by a conversation she had with her Aunt Annie, who is also a fifth grade teacher and is good at this sort of thing.
5:03
SPEAKER_00: And you've met Annalise before.
5:05
SPEAKER_00: Ana Lise Higgins has been a previous guest on this podcast for many episodes, and I won't go into all of them there, but Downton Abbey, little women, just to name a few.
5:14
SPEAKER_00: But anyway, Haiti suggested I asked her, What did she learn that day?
5:19
SPEAKER_00: But she told me it wasn't just an ordinary question.
5:23
SPEAKER_00: It wasn't just asking her what she learned, it was a little more creative than that.
5:28
SPEAKER_00: So I'm loving this idea, you guys.
5:31
SPEAKER_00: It's worked so great.
5:33
SPEAKER_00: So this is what she told me to do, and this is what we've continued to do, and I've incorporated it in so many different ways.
5:39
SPEAKER_00: It's so good, you guys.
5:41
SPEAKER_00: It will change your conversations.
5:44
SPEAKER_00: Well, actually, it'll change your one-word answers to meaningful conversations.
5:50
SPEAKER_00: It'll be really fun.
5:51
SPEAKER_00: So follow along.
5:52
SPEAKER_00: I'll explain it a lot, and I even have created a printout for you so you can remember later on.
5:57
SPEAKER_00: All right, so using the word learn as an acrostic, I was supposed to ask what she did that day.
6:05
SPEAKER_00: What did she like?
6:08
SPEAKER_00: L for like, what did she explore?
6:12
SPEAKER_00: E for explore, what did she accomplish?
6:15
SPEAKER_00: A for accomplish.
6:17
SPEAKER_00: Okay, are you guys catching on here?
6:18
SPEAKER_00: Yep, the last two is read for R and navigate for N.
6:25
SPEAKER_00: Learn.
6:26
SPEAKER_00: Isn't that so fun?
6:27
SPEAKER_00: It's actually really brilliant because the conversations on our way home from school are way more meaningful.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: And when we need to check in at the dinner table with dad, we want to find out what his day was like, and more than just good or bad, this is a perfect way to ask him.
6:45
SPEAKER_00: Now do understand, many days the kids may get in the car and all the frustration and stress they've been holding back all day comes spewing out.
6:55
SPEAKER_00: But eventually we get to these questions for one or two of my kids each day, even if it's just over the snack on the kitchen counter.
7:03
SPEAKER_00: But now they know what to expect, and it's been kind of fun because sometimes they even ask me, which is pretty cool.
7:11
SPEAKER_00: Now I don't just use learn with my kids.
7:14
SPEAKER_00: This has been a great philosophy with them, but I've also learned to apply these questions to my day, my week, and even my year.
7:22
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
7:23
SPEAKER_00: This is gonna help us set those wholehearted goals.
7:27
SPEAKER_00: Because I think this is a powerful way to evaluate your year and assess where you are right now and help you figure out what you desire in the year to come.
7:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna explain the five questions of learn and how I apply an answer about it in my own life.
7:43
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna share just some brief illustrations from my own life, and I know that there's more that I could share, and there's a ton more, of course, I've written down for my own eyes, but my answers that I'm gonna give and share today, they're intended to spark your own reflection.
7:58
SPEAKER_00: Because I want you to take this idea of learn, grab a pen and paper, if you're not on the treadmill of course or driving, and I want you to learn with me.
8:06
SPEAKER_00: Let's learn together.
8:09
SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to, you can always come back to this episode and you can listen again, or you can download my learn guide that I put together, especially for you.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: It's just really simple.
8:18
SPEAKER_00: It spells out their crosstic, and it's a place where you can jot down your memory, or you can post it and share with your family these new intentional questions to help spark meaningful conversation.
8:30
SPEAKER_00: After you try them out for yourself, I think you'll enjoy using these questions with your kids or your spouse or even your good friends.
8:36
SPEAKER_00: And just a quick reminder to give yourself some time to go through these prompts.
8:40
SPEAKER_00: Think about the setting that you want to have.
8:43
SPEAKER_00: Right now you might be driving to and fro from work, or you know, you've had a long day, or you're trying to run errands and you're just starting in and out.
8:51
SPEAKER_00: Now's not the time to maybe answer all of it.
8:53
SPEAKER_00: You might answer a few, but I want you to be intentional about this process.
8:58
SPEAKER_00: It's important.
8:59
SPEAKER_00: For me, it means an early morning, solitude, stillness, silence before the kids get up.
9:05
SPEAKER_00: I've got my cup of coffee.
9:07
SPEAKER_00: I might have the fireplace going, and my new addition, my little puppy dog on my lap, and I have my pen and paper ready.
9:15
SPEAKER_00: Sometimes I even put some instrumental music in my earbuds just to, I don't know, just encourage my heart as I do it.
9:23
SPEAKER_00: I want it to be thoughtful for you, just like I would make it thoughtful for myself.
9:29
SPEAKER_00: Because I'm an all the things kind of gal, to stay true to Simply Wholehearted's philosophy, we are focusing on what has, is, and will grow in our spirit, mind, and body so that we can be living as a whole person.
9:45
SPEAKER_00: And because I consider myself an entrepreneur, I'll also be sharing some of my business goals and dreams and insights as well.
9:53
SPEAKER_00: Alright, are you ready?
9:55
SPEAKER_00: Good.
9:55
SPEAKER_00: Come along with me as we learn together.
9:59
SPEAKER_00: And by the way, I'm gonna remind you this at the end, but I would love to know.
10:03
SPEAKER_00: I would love to hear from you what you learned about 2019 and what you hope to learn in 2020.
10:11
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so what did you like about 2019?
10:16
SPEAKER_00: What's the first thing that comes to you that you enjoyed?
10:20
SPEAKER_00: What did you do for your body that you liked?
10:23
SPEAKER_00: How about your spirit and even your mind?
10:28
SPEAKER_00: When it came to growing my spirit, this year, my mom's small group with Radiant Church in Kansas City, we gathered weekly.
10:35
SPEAKER_00: And last spring and this fall, our discussion was based around two curriculums I wrote.
10:41
SPEAKER_00: I say curriculum, they're you know just things that I've written, they're not published or anything like that.
10:46
SPEAKER_00: Maybe someday.
10:47
SPEAKER_00: But they were my heart and soul.
10:49
SPEAKER_00: I poured into those.
10:51
SPEAKER_00: And what I loved was not only getting to create them, but I love getting to know each woman better and seeing them form relationships with one another in my living room.
11:00
SPEAKER_00: It was super fun.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: Now, for growth of my body, I also really liked our family time in Brampton this year.
11:08
SPEAKER_00: For back in 2018, for the Christmas, my in-laws gifted us use and passes to Silver Dollar City, which, if you haven't heard about this amusement park, you really should check it out.
11:18
SPEAKER_00: I promise they are not a paid advertiser or anything, but it's incredibly family friendly.
11:23
SPEAKER_00: It's clean, entertaining, it's a ton of fun.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: But all of that to say, we had some really special memories from 2019 that I'm really grateful for.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: And I kind of consider that a body thing.
11:34
SPEAKER_00: Not only do we walk a lot because of it together, we were all shooting for I think 24,000 steps every day we went, so it was pretty great.
11:43
SPEAKER_00: But we laughed a lot and we had fun and we even packed our own food so it was healthy.
11:48
SPEAKER_00: Alright, I'm really grateful for that and that was good.
11:51
SPEAKER_00: Now for my mind growth, well, this year I created several online Enneagram video workshops.
11:58
SPEAKER_00: And I'm not only proud of those, but mostly because they were really challenging to create and they definitely stretched my mind.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: So, does like make sense a little bit more?
12:10
SPEAKER_00: What did you like?
12:11
SPEAKER_00: I bet once you write down one thing you liked about 2019, you will probably remember a few more.
12:18
SPEAKER_00: You see how fun and simple this can be?
12:20
SPEAKER_00: Alright, let's go into the next thing.
12:22
SPEAKER_00: For the E and Learn, it's explore.
12:26
SPEAKER_00: What did you explore in 2018?
12:29
SPEAKER_00: Was there something you investigated, researched, or maybe you tried out that was beyond your comfort zone?
12:36
SPEAKER_00: Hello, how many of you guys like to do that?
12:39
SPEAKER_00: Well, maybe you discovered something different than you had imagined, but the point was you took time to look into something new.
12:47
SPEAKER_00: You guys, that is worth celebrating.
12:50
SPEAKER_00: So for us, well, I mentioned her a little earlier.
12:54
SPEAKER_00: Yep, she's still right here, just chilling on my lap, sleeping.
12:57
SPEAKER_00: I think we wore her out today.
12:59
SPEAKER_00: But it was our puppy dog.
13:02
SPEAKER_00: My kids have been asking for a dog for years, and we've considered it.
13:06
SPEAKER_00: We did used to have a dog.
13:08
SPEAKER_00: She was a big dog.
13:10
SPEAKER_00: She was a white Pyrenees, she was beautiful, but her hair, you guys, your hair was her hair was everywhere.
13:16
SPEAKER_00: And then we had two babies, and we felt it was best to give our dog to another family who, well, didn't live in a small townhome with two babies, and a husband who had to go work when it was snowing every single time because he, yeah, that was part of his job requirement.
13:34
SPEAKER_00: So if it was snowing in the middle of the night, he was out there, and I wasn't sure how I was gonna let a dog out and to look take care of two little babies and moments like that.
13:42
SPEAKER_00: So another family that we love took her.
13:45
SPEAKER_00: We just love Sequoia.
13:47
SPEAKER_00: And then we went on to have three kids and we moved and we rented, and it just wasn't the right time.
13:54
SPEAKER_00: But the kids have been asking and begging and asking and begging, especially Miles, my youngest.
14:01
SPEAKER_00: He just thinks that he needed a dog to kind of be his buddy when his sisters went off and did something.
14:06
SPEAKER_00: He wanted his own buddy.
14:08
SPEAKER_00: So this summer I intentionally explored what it would look like to give my kids more responsibility.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: So our super summer challenge we do every year, I always talk about it, and we'll talk about again in 2020.
14:21
SPEAKER_00: I put some requirements on our challenges to just see if they would be capable of walking the neighborhood alone and doing different responsibilities that I felt would be similar to having a dog.
14:34
SPEAKER_00: And then we also dog sat, and that was the clincher for me.
14:38
SPEAKER_00: I saw that they were really ready, they stepped up to the plate, they were really helpful with that dog, and I kept telling my kids when the time was right, the dog would find us.
14:48
SPEAKER_00: And our doggy story is a story for another time.
14:51
SPEAKER_00: But in the end, we explored getting a dog, and right before Christmas, well, it all worked out.
15:00
SPEAKER_00: Now, as far as exploring in my spirit, well, I mentioned we went through two curriculums that I wrote, the one with my mom's group.
15:08
SPEAKER_00: The first one was something I call Mind the Gap, and we shared our journey of navigating our experience of our moms not being available, perhaps emotionally, physically, or spiritually in different seasons of our life.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: It was challenging for me, spiritually challenging, but we all bond in a deep way that was also a gift.
15:27
SPEAKER_00: And then we explored how the gospel and the Enneagram reminds us that we are the best mom for our kids, which was a blast, as you can imagine.
15:36
SPEAKER_00: We talked about everything from postpartum depression to intimacy and finances and marriage.
15:42
SPEAKER_00: You guys, it was so much fun.
15:45
SPEAKER_00: And I really am kind of reveling in the afterglow from that whole experience.
15:49
SPEAKER_00: It was great.
15:50
SPEAKER_00: And then mind, oh, you guys know about this one.
15:54
SPEAKER_00: We explored what it would look like to create Enneagram candles.
15:58
SPEAKER_00: Yes, with Molly Beck of Continue Good Co.
16:03
SPEAKER_00: She and I sat down with Janelle Beck, her mother-in-law, and we designed some Enneagram candles.
16:09
SPEAKER_00: Now, I couldn't have done it from conception to actual product at all.
16:14
SPEAKER_00: Molly and her husband Cal were the people who had the skills and the talents, the equipment and knew how to do all the candle stuff from their own candle company business.
16:23
SPEAKER_00: So I wouldn't have been able to make that happen.
16:25
SPEAKER_00: But I loved getting to be part of formalizing the scent and the messages and all that sort of stuff.
16:31
SPEAKER_00: So that was really fun.
16:32
SPEAKER_00: And I can't believe it was one of those little things that, you know, was this idea and then it happened.
16:38
SPEAKER_00: So here we are.
16:39
SPEAKER_00: You guys hopefully got an Enneagram candle for Christmas.
16:43
SPEAKER_00: But if you didn't, you'll have to hop on the Enneagramcandles.com and order your special candle.
16:49
SPEAKER_00: All right, now for the A.
16:52
SPEAKER_00: A is for accomplish, which, as you guys know as an Enneagram 3, that is my favorite thing to remember.
17:00
SPEAKER_00: But it's also the hardest.
17:02
SPEAKER_00: Because of all the things that I still want to accomplish in my mind, I sometimes forget to acknowledge that I have accomplished some things, even if it didn't have the outcome I imagined.
17:14
SPEAKER_00: So if you have a challenging time, remember, use the spirit, mind, and body framework.
17:21
SPEAKER_00: A few things I value last year was the successful finish to last school year, the 2018-2019 school year.
17:29
SPEAKER_00: That does feel like a while ago, but it's worth celebrating because it was hard for us, but we did it, and my kids finished really well, and I was super grateful.
17:39
SPEAKER_00: We also had a really fun summer after a tough school year, and it was fun, regardless of my injury and sickness.
17:46
SPEAKER_00: So I'm grateful for that.
17:48
SPEAKER_00: Also, we did two semesters of leading financial peace.
17:52
SPEAKER_00: I created two websites, and 10 women went through my Enneagram coaching sessions.
17:57
SPEAKER_00: So that was really full, right?
18:01
SPEAKER_00: It is really healthy for me to look back at this because some of these things I actually wanted more of or I wanted to have done better.
18:10
SPEAKER_00: But I look back and I go, whoa, the Lord has done a lot, and I know he wants me to remember and see because it creates gratitude for what he was able to accomplish.
18:21
SPEAKER_00: So yay! All right, A was for accomplish.
18:24
SPEAKER_00: Now R.
18:26
SPEAKER_00: This one you could do one of two ways.
18:29
SPEAKER_00: When my daughter shared this idea, we used R, and we still do with them for read.
18:36
SPEAKER_00: Read is a great thing to ask kids and your friends as well, especially if you're wanting to get book recommendations.
18:42
SPEAKER_00: Now, for my read of 2019, well, it's pretty easy to learn what I read and to learn all about that.
18:49
SPEAKER_00: You can just listen to many of the previous episodes of 2019 and even hear from the authors themselves.
18:56
SPEAKER_00: But what I like to do and use for R is redo.
19:01
SPEAKER_00: And here's the deal: even though you would redo it, you probably learned something along the way that was invaluable.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: So it's not to shame or I don't even know if I like the word regret.
19:15
SPEAKER_00: We just maybe would do it differently if we could next time.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: And so we want to evaluate the redo, especially when it comes to looking at next year and what we're gonna say yes to.
19:28
SPEAKER_00: So for me, just to give you some example of what I would redo, I shared with you, of course, in one of my episodes this fall is that I wish I hadn't pushed so hard this summer.
19:39
SPEAKER_00: I just went ahead and tried to shake off my injury like nothing had happened, and that only delayed my healing, and then I ended up sick anyway.
19:50
SPEAKER_00: I also wish that we had been able to figure out how to have a few more couples over for meals during our weeks.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: It's a little bit different.
19:58
SPEAKER_00: Our kids are older, we have a lot of homework, we have evening commitments with them.
20:04
SPEAKER_00: We need to be really intentional with our time, and meal times are really valuable for that.
20:09
SPEAKER_00: So it's a little bit difficult for us to schedule those special meals, but there are a few other couples in our church that we would really like to get to know.
20:17
SPEAKER_00: I think if I could have, we would have done more of those.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
20:20
SPEAKER_00: It's hard to look back and to know for sure that we could have done that.
20:23
SPEAKER_00: But I'm thinking of that in light of what I'd like to do for next year.
20:26
SPEAKER_00: Now, I would also like to redo some elements of my business.
20:30
SPEAKER_00: Mostly things that I could maybe better explain what I wanted to do and also champion you in.
20:37
SPEAKER_00: I sometimes don't do that very well, and I'm learning though, and I'm so grateful for those who've just hung with me until I get it.
20:44
SPEAKER_00: Alright, N is for navigate.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: Navigating.
20:48
SPEAKER_00: Are you navigating unique challenges, emotions, energy, maybe even navigating things about your faith?
20:57
SPEAKER_00: There might be all sorts of things that you're navigating, and they might be good and they might be bad.
21:03
SPEAKER_00: For me, it was to figure out what it looked like to give my kids more freedom and also how to navigate some neighborhood kid relationships.
21:13
SPEAKER_00: Not all of it was rosy and wonderful.
21:16
SPEAKER_00: So, you know, it was just a new thing for us.
21:18
SPEAKER_00: Our kids are old enough, they can roam the neighborhood alone, and sometimes that means I'm not there to help them navigate good choices.
21:26
SPEAKER_00: So we had to learn through that.
21:28
SPEAKER_00: I also learned this year how I could create more community on social media, and I even navigated my first photo session with the talented Christine Lau.
21:40
SPEAKER_00: Not all of that was fun, but it was stuff that I navigated and it's kind of fun to remember.
21:46
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so you just did learn.
21:49
SPEAKER_00: Was it challenging for you?
21:51
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know for some of us, learning from the past or trying to learn from the past is a challenge.
21:57
SPEAKER_00: For others of you, you more naturally reform.
22:00
SPEAKER_00: And you help the rest of us remember and learn.
22:04
SPEAKER_00: Now, why is this?
22:06
SPEAKER_00: Why do some of us struggle and others excel?
22:09
SPEAKER_00: Well, here's the deal.
22:11
SPEAKER_00: I know.
22:12
SPEAKER_00: Are you ready for it?
22:13
SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: Yep.
22:15
SPEAKER_00: The Enneagram stances help explain us.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: Now, I did create a course, one of the couple of courses that I talked about, the Enneagram 201 course.
22:26
SPEAKER_00: I explain what the stances are in detail.
22:29
SPEAKER_00: And you can get that right now if you want to, but I'm going to go ahead and explain parts of it in detail here to help you understand why some more naturally reflect on the past and some of us maybe help in the future.
22:45
SPEAKER_00: Okay, so the types that are in the withdrawing stance, that's type 4, type 5, and type 9, they excel out looking in the past.
22:55
SPEAKER_00: Their natural orientation is towards the past.
22:58
SPEAKER_00: It's this fascinating thing.
23:00
SPEAKER_00: You can often find them reflecting on it, learning from it, dwelling on it even.
23:05
SPEAKER_00: Now, the dependent stance, those types in the dependent stance are the type 1, type 2, and type 6.
23:12
SPEAKER_00: They are present focused.
23:15
SPEAKER_00: And these people excel at being really focused in the present.
23:19
SPEAKER_00: So they need some folks, type friends that are in the withdrawing stance, help them look at the past and learn from it.
23:27
SPEAKER_00: And the dependent types help their withdrawing friends be more present and not always be worried about the past.
23:33
SPEAKER_00: And now I've saved my favorite, well, because I'm in it.
23:38
SPEAKER_00: The assertive stance.
23:39
SPEAKER_00: The assertive stance types are the type 3, type 7, and type 8.
23:44
SPEAKER_00: And we're future oriented.
23:46
SPEAKER_00: Now that's awesome and really helpful, but we need to learn how to be fully present from our dependent friends.
23:53
SPEAKER_00: And we need to learn how to look at the past from our withdrawing friends.
23:57
SPEAKER_00: So here's the deal.
23:58
SPEAKER_00: Not only do we hold all the types, because we are all nine types, right?
24:04
SPEAKER_00: But we lead with one, one type is dominant.
24:07
SPEAKER_00: We can also learn from one another.
24:09
SPEAKER_00: When we learn from the past, we can determine what we want to say yes to in the future, and we evaluate what it is right now, we can continue to grow our wholehearted goals.
24:20
SPEAKER_00: So let's apply learn to the present.
24:23
SPEAKER_00: Even if the present is already in 2020 or you're still in no man's land week, we're going to take a look at it.
24:30
SPEAKER_00: And all you dependent stance folks, this is your thing.
24:33
SPEAKER_00: You can quickly assess where you are right now.
24:36
SPEAKER_00: And this step is important to know what you want to carry into your future goals and what needs to be adjusted so your year is full of wholehearted goodness.
24:44
SPEAKER_00: So what can you learn from right now?
24:47
SPEAKER_00: What do you like?
24:48
SPEAKER_00: What are you exploring?
24:50
SPEAKER_00: What are you accomplishing?
24:52
SPEAKER_00: What are you reading or wanting to redo and do differently?
24:56
SPEAKER_00: And what are you currently navigating?
24:58
SPEAKER_00: Now give yourself a few minutes to ask yourself that question and figure out what you're liking right now.
25:03
SPEAKER_00: Maybe if you're in No Man's Land week, you really like some of the fun that you're having.
25:08
SPEAKER_00: Or maybe you're realizing how much more you like accomplishing than, you know, not having a whole lot of purpose during this crazy week.
25:17
SPEAKER_00: Alright, guys, now we are ready to set our wholehearted goals for 2020.
25:22
SPEAKER_00: And if you're in the assertive stance like I am, well, you've been waiting for this the whole episode.
25:28
SPEAKER_00: Now, what have we learned about last year?
25:32
SPEAKER_00: And what have we learned about where we currently are?
25:35
SPEAKER_00: Do you want to keep learning those things in the future?
25:40
SPEAKER_00: What do you hope to like about 2020?
25:43
SPEAKER_00: What would you like to explore?
25:45
SPEAKER_00: There are so many possibilities, right?
25:47
SPEAKER_00: When you think about that.
25:50
SPEAKER_00: What is it that you would like to accomplish?
25:52
SPEAKER_00: Were there some things unfinished from last year or things that you're in the middle of that you would like to continue and finish and say, hey, I accomplished that in 2020?
26:02
SPEAKER_00: If you use the R for read, well, here's the deal.
26:06
SPEAKER_00: You gotta create an intentional list if you want to read things.
26:10
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't just happen.
26:12
SPEAKER_00: You may not know the book titles that you want to read in 2020, but maybe you could put down that you want to read one fiction and one nonfiction every month.
26:21
SPEAKER_00: I don't know, that's kind of a high goal for me.
26:22
SPEAKER_00: I'd love to do that, but it's not always possible.
26:26
SPEAKER_00: You write what you want to write.
26:28
SPEAKER_00: Now you can also use the R for redo.
26:32
SPEAKER_00: Like, what do you not want to do again in 2020?
26:37
SPEAKER_00: What are your non-negotiables?
26:40
SPEAKER_00: Are there boundaries or family or work or something that you do when you get sick that you would like to not wish away differently next year?
26:52
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, there might be a few of those things.
26:54
SPEAKER_00: And I'm learning what my non-negotiables are.
26:57
SPEAKER_00: Last, what will be your compass when you need to navigate the good and the hard?
27:03
SPEAKER_00: What are your routines?
27:04
SPEAKER_00: What are your anchors in your life?
27:07
SPEAKER_00: For me, that's for sure my stillness, solitude, silence every morning.
27:11
SPEAKER_00: It just has to be a part of my day.
27:13
SPEAKER_00: There's no ifs, ands, or buts about it.
27:15
SPEAKER_00: And when I can, I throw in there making sure I do some good reading, of course, family fun, and working out is always really great too.
27:25
SPEAKER_00: Well, friends, I hope you've had as much fun as I have learning about this awesome way of reflecting on your past year and setting goals for the new year.
27:37
SPEAKER_00: I'm really excited to hear what you want to learn in 2020.
27:41
SPEAKER_00: And I'd even love to hear what you learned about your 2019.
27:46
SPEAKER_00: I hope this has been helpful as you think about the year to come and all the potential God has in store for you.
27:53
SPEAKER_00: I'd be thrilled to have you invite others into your learning process and maybe use it with your kids and family to cultivate more meaningful conversation.
28:02
SPEAKER_00: You can always email me or tag Simply Wholehearted on social media or even send me a direct message once you've tested out the five steps to wholehearted goals and let me know what you've learned.
28:13
SPEAKER_00: So, until next time, let's invite others to join us as we pursue perspective, purpose, and plans for a simply wholehearted life.