Latest / Drawn of History / Mom Says Her Kids Get Made Fun of For Being Poor(M4A_128K)
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: We got a call that came in right here.
- 0:02Speaker 2: Hi, Theo. My name is Jamie. First off, you're amazing
- 0:06Speaker 2: and I could go on and on, but I'm calling
- 0:09Speaker 2: for some advice. I'm 40 years old, two children, and
- 0:13Speaker 2: my oldest is about to start middle school. And I
- 0:16Speaker 2: grew up poor and I grew up in a rundown
- 0:19Speaker 2: house and I unfortunately didn't get out of that situation.
- 0:26Speaker 2: I live in a rundown trailer. And she told me
- 0:30Speaker 2: that she doesn't want to go on the school bus
- 0:32Speaker 2: because she doesn't want kids to make fun of her.
- 0:34Speaker 2: What do I do for her to feel better about
- 0:38Speaker 2: her life situation? Because it is what it is. And
- 0:40Speaker 2: we have love. And we have food on the table.
- 0:43Speaker 2: And we have vehicles. But I can't give her more
- 0:46Speaker 2: than what I can give her. And I want her
- 0:49Speaker 2: to be confident. I just don't want her to introvert
- 0:52Speaker 2: that pain like I did and not be able to
- 0:55Speaker 2: be proud of where she comes from. whatever you can
- 0:58Speaker 2: elaborate on, that'd be great. Thanks. And you're amazing.
- 1:03Speaker 3: Well, thanks for the nice words. Uh, and also, honestly,
- 1:06Speaker 3: that's one of, I think this might be maybe one
- 1:08Speaker 3: of my favorite calls that, uh, that's ever come in.
- 1:10Speaker 1: So thank you. Um, let me catch your first name again.
- 1:14Speaker 2: Hi, Theo. My name's Jamie.
- 1:18Speaker 1: Hey, Jamie.
- 1:20Speaker 3: You're so, uh, you're such a good thinker and speaker.
- 1:23Speaker 3: I just wanted to say that to you. Um, And
- 1:29Speaker 3: I think it's awesome that you think about this and
- 1:32Speaker 3: that you care about it, right?
- 1:35Speaker 1: And that you care about it on behalf of your daughter.
- 1:40Speaker 3: That's really, it's awesome. It's awesome to hear. Yeah, I'm
- 1:45Speaker 3: just going to share my own experience real quick. Yeah,
- 1:49Speaker 3: I grew up in that environment. I used to ride
- 1:52Speaker 3: my bike to school. It was about five miles to school,
- 1:54Speaker 3: which I'm not trying to make it sound crazy or anything,
- 1:56Speaker 3: but You know, I was probably 11, 12, 13 riding
- 2:02Speaker 3: my bike to school. And sometimes I'd ride right alongside
- 2:06Speaker 3: of the school bus that I was supposed to be on.
- 2:09Speaker 3: But I didn't want to be seen getting off that bus.
- 2:12Speaker 3: You know, that was the poor bus or that was like,
- 2:16Speaker 3: you know, just I don't know. And kind of now
- 2:20Speaker 3: I'm a little almost ashamed of that because, you know,
- 2:25Speaker 3: I love the place where I'm from. And, but I
- 2:30Speaker 3: can relate to like trying to manage how you see me.
- 2:34Speaker 3: You know, I didn't want to be in some of
- 2:35Speaker 3: the situation that we had. And I was always trying
- 2:40Speaker 3: to manage how you see me, right? Like I didn't
- 2:43Speaker 3: make these choices. I didn't do these things, whatever has
- 2:46Speaker 3: us here right now. But the thing that I, in hindsight,
- 2:51Speaker 3: the thing that I feel like was missing for me
- 2:54Speaker 3: would have just been a good conversation from my parents.
- 2:58Speaker 3: And say, hey, this is what's going on right now
- 3:00Speaker 3: with our family. And we love you. We care about you.
- 3:05Speaker 3: The fact that some things we don't have right now
- 3:09Speaker 3: has nothing to do with that we aren't good people.
- 3:13Speaker 3: That we don't love you. Let me think about this
- 3:19Speaker 3: even more. If my mom would have just sat down
- 3:22Speaker 3: with us or my dad. And they didn't have time.
- 3:25Speaker 1: Maybe whatever. They did have time. But if they would
- 3:29Speaker 1: have said, look, we are.
- 3:33Speaker 3: Together, we are going to get to another place in life. Another,
- 3:38Speaker 3: our family is going to evolve and get to another place, right?
- 3:43Speaker 3: Like maybe a little bit better financial place or into
- 3:45Speaker 3: a safer home, right? We're going to have to do
- 3:48Speaker 3: that together. And there's going to be some painful parts.
- 3:53Speaker 3: And maybe my mom could have shared with me like,
- 3:56Speaker 3: the painful parts for her maybe were that when she
- 4:01Speaker 3: couldn't give me everything she wanted to or she didn't
- 4:04Speaker 3: have time to spend with me in ways that were
- 4:09Speaker 3: outside of just providing food and shelter, right? And that
- 4:14Speaker 3: was just my scenario, but it could be like just
- 4:16Speaker 3: that conversation. Like, hey, we're in this together, right? And
- 4:21Speaker 3: I'm so proud of you and I love you and Um,
- 4:25Speaker 3: there's going to be a year or two. Let's say,
- 4:27Speaker 3: let's try and have a goal where it might be
- 4:29Speaker 3: a little tough here and it's some parts might be embarrassing,
- 4:33Speaker 3: but just know the real truth about you is not
- 4:36Speaker 3: these things. If, and like, if somebody judges you or
- 4:40Speaker 3: looks at you a certain way or jokes about you, like,
- 4:46Speaker 3: I think there wasn't any conversation inside of me that
- 4:52Speaker 3: went against that. And so when people would say stuff,
- 4:59Speaker 3: I just took it all on like, oh, I'm worthless
- 5:02Speaker 3: or whatever. But I think as long as you have
- 5:04Speaker 3: that conversation with her and you let her know, hey,
- 5:06Speaker 3: we're doing this together and I love you. And this
- 5:11Speaker 3: is who we are in the world. We are fighters
- 5:14Speaker 3: and we will figure this out. And there's going to
- 5:20Speaker 3: be some tough moments. This might be what they are.
- 5:23Speaker 3: This is how we can get through them. individually and
- 5:26Speaker 3: together and uh that no matter what more than anything
- 5:32Speaker 3: that if somebody says something about you or looks at
- 5:36Speaker 3: you a certain way you can have a voice inside
- 5:40Speaker 3: of yourself and we can have a voice together as
- 5:43Speaker 3: a family that speaks back against that um yeah so
- 5:49Speaker 3: i think those are the things uh that i think
- 5:52Speaker 3: would have probably been nice to have and to hear
- 5:56Speaker 3: and just see hearing how much in your own voice
- 5:59Speaker 3: that you are, you're going to figure this out. And
- 6:02Speaker 3: it's not even an affliction. It's like, um, I don't know.
- 6:08Speaker 3: I'm just proud of you for like caring about it
- 6:10Speaker 3: and calling. And, uh, yeah, it kind of takes me back.
- 6:15Speaker 3: Maybe my mother had some of the same questions and
- 6:16Speaker 3: she just didn't have a place to think about it
- 6:18Speaker 3: or I don't know. But yeah, sometimes just, um, Yeah.
- 6:25Speaker 3: Just that season that that season is temporary and it's
- 6:28Speaker 3: going to build you. It's going to build your kid,
- 6:35Speaker 3: you know, and.
- 6:39Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just tough for kids at that age.
- 6:43Speaker 3: But also if, if, if, if, if any listeners have
- 6:45Speaker 3: other thoughts and suggestions, I think I'll probably have more.
- 6:49Speaker 3: I'm kind of tired from just like a long day
- 6:50Speaker 3: of thinking today, um, or talking, um, But if any
- 6:54Speaker 3: listeners have other suggestions about that sort of thing. And
- 6:59Speaker 3: one thing that was pretty tough, I'll say it is, bro.
- 7:02Speaker 3: They wasn't fucking with anybody in our neighborhood. So people
- 7:06Speaker 3: could kind of talk shit. But the kids in our neighborhood, bro,
- 7:10Speaker 3: they came pretty gassed up about, you know, I'm saying
- 7:13Speaker 3: if people would really run their mouth. Now, the problem
- 7:15Speaker 3: was people in our neighborhood were beefing with each other
- 7:18Speaker 3: so much. So I think maybe another thing would be
- 7:22Speaker 3: to help her work on those relationships in the neighborhood,
- 7:25Speaker 3: even if they're relationships that you don't know if you'll
- 7:27Speaker 3: have for your whole life, but so that she feels
- 7:31Speaker 3: like she is.
- 7:32Speaker 1: Part of a group, you know?
- 7:38Speaker 3: And yeah, and that it's okay to find people of
- 7:42Speaker 3: different cultures and different classes that you can still be
- 7:46Speaker 3: in those circles, you know? That you're not exempt from
- 7:51Speaker 3: some space just because of you can't afford a certain
- 7:55Speaker 3: thing or just because your mom has to work all
- 7:57Speaker 3: the time. You aren't exempt from some possibility in the world.
- 8:03Speaker 3: You know, when I look back at my own neighborhood
- 8:04Speaker 3: that I grew up in, man, it was not comfortable
- 8:07Speaker 3: for any of those kids. And mostly emotionally, really. The
- 8:12Speaker 3: food and the fucking clothing and being poor, like that shit, yeah,
- 8:15Speaker 3: it hurts. But it's like it's the emotional side that
- 8:18Speaker 3: was missing. But some of the best business owners, hardest workers,
- 8:23Speaker 3: and heroes of my heart and life have come out
- 8:28Speaker 3: of that space now. So anyway, I'm not preaching at you.
- 8:33Speaker 3: I think I sound a little bit preachy, but I
- 8:36Speaker 3: hadn't thought about this. Or I think about it sometimes,
- 8:38Speaker 3: but no, I hadn't talked about it. And yeah, I'm
- 8:43Speaker 3: just so happy that you love your daughter so much
- 8:44Speaker 3: that you care to think about that. And I think
- 8:49Speaker 3: letting her know that too That fills in a lot
- 8:51Speaker 3: of the part of like, I don't know, whatever that
- 8:56Speaker 3: part that needs to be filled in so that stuff
- 8:58Speaker 3: doesn't hurt as much. And yeah, I'd love some suggestions
- 9:01Speaker 3: from other people if they can hit the hotline. The
- 9:03Speaker 3: next solo episode we do, I'll put those on to
- 9:06Speaker 3: the end of the episode. Or we'll make a little
- 9:09Speaker 3: follow-up piece and put it out on YouTube. It'll probably
- 9:12Speaker 3: be like a month. Just letting you know.
- 9:17Speaker 1: But yeah, I don't know.
- 9:21Speaker 3: It's just cool. I think like, I don't know. It's
- 9:24Speaker 3: so funny how like life brings you back into moments
- 9:27Speaker 3: in my own way.
- 9:27Speaker 1: I almost channel.
- 9:28Speaker 3: This is like, this is my mother and her voice
- 9:31Speaker 3: and that she cared and that I didn't know it,
- 9:35Speaker 3: you know?
- 9:35Speaker 1: And that's kind of selfish. But I think like life
- 9:40Speaker 1: is like that.
- 9:41Speaker 3: Sometimes it's like if someone, or if a time from
- 9:43Speaker 3: your life is gone and it's passed and it wasn't good,
- 9:46Speaker 3: you can fill it in with a new time or
- 9:48Speaker 3: a new moment.
- 9:50Speaker 1: Um, Or a new person.
- 9:52Speaker 3: Sometimes I'll be in an AA meeting and there'll be
- 9:55Speaker 3: a man in there that will share something. And it's
- 9:57Speaker 3: like something I needed my dad to always say. or
- 10:00Speaker 3: I needed my brother to say, or just, or something
- 10:03Speaker 3: I needed. And somebody else will fill in. And for
- 10:05Speaker 3: a moment, they're your family. They're your, I don't know.
- 10:11Speaker 3: We're the keys to each other's locks. That's what my
- 10:13Speaker 3: friend James says. So anyway, blessings to you and to
- 10:18Speaker 3: blessings to you, Jamie. I love you so much for
- 10:21Speaker 3: just caring about your kid and sharing that with us today.
- 10:25Speaker 3: And yeah, it's a cool topic to think about. So sorry,
- 10:28Speaker 3: I kind of rambled. I've had some coffee and yeah,
- 10:34Speaker 3: and that's been it. And I haven't even, yeah, and
- 10:36Speaker 3: I'm doing okay. So praise God.