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Do Narcissists Even Realize What They Do? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  So do narcissists know what they are doing?
• 0:04
  That's the question we're answering today, y'all, I know I
• 0:06
  look, I get this question so much that I, it deserves its own
• 0:13
  video. So that's what that's what we
• 0:15
  talked to them today. Y'all, that question right
• 0:17
  there. Do narcissists have any idea the
• 0:20
  impact that they are having on the people around them or their
• 0:24
  environment or whoever? We're tackling the net right
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  now. Y'all know, I got the camera way
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  back. I'm trying new things out.
• 0:31
  We, we, we experiment, experimenting with the channel
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  right now. Let me know which thing.
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  But yes, a lot of narcissistic people absolutely do know that
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  they are doing you wrong. Regardless of whatever they say,
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  regardless of how they're going about handling the situation,
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  what it, whatever they're doing to you, a lot of them
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  absolutely, positively, positively know what they are
• 0:57
  doing to you. That's just factual.
• 1:00
  Well, Lee, how do you know that they know what they're doing?
• 1:03
  Because they don't do it to everybody.
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  They don't do it to everybody. They're not the same in public
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  as they are in private. They don't, they don't yell.
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  Some of them don't. They don't yell or scream at you
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  in public, but they do it behind closed doors.
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  Why is that? Is it because they know that
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  they will be looked at funny if they yelled at you and scream at
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  you or put their hands on you in public?
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  Is that it right there? Could that possibly be it right
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  there? Let's think about that.
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  Right there is. Could that possibly be the
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  reason right there that a lot of narcissists and types of people
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  behave the way that they behave because they know that if they
• 1:44
  treated you the same way in public, public that they do in
• 1:49
  private, that they will be chastised, that they will be
• 1:51
  judged, that they will look like a bad person, that their
• 1:55
  reputations would absolutely be questioned.
• 2:00
  Their reputations could be tainted in some way, shape or
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  form, now, couldn't they? So that's something you have to
• 2:05
  think about right there. Well, Lee, see.
• 2:07
  Well, Lee, well, what my partner said, he blacks out.
• 2:10
  He doesn't know what he's doing to me or she blacks out or they
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  black out and they don't know what they're doing to me.
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  If somebody tells you that they black out and they don't know
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  what they did or they have no, no memory of what they did to
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  you, that's worse. That's worse.
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  I did y'all, I did a Zoom call with a lady a while ago and she,
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  she just happened to have her partner on there.
• 2:33
  Yep, I do Zoom calls with couples sometimes.
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  Right. She just happened to have her
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  partner on there. And the partner said he had no
• 2:39
  memory of, of putting his hands around her throat until she
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  passed out. He had no memory of doing it.
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  He's like, well, I don't remember doing that.
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  Huh. And she's like, yeah, he don't
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  remember doing it. I was like, that's scarier.
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  And she was, she was like, how's that scarier?
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  I, I said, if he has no memory of doing it.
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  I said if he has no memory of doing it, how is he going to
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  stop it from happening again? Think about that.
• 3:08
  If they don't remember doing it or they have no control or they
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  they don't know why they did it, how can they stop it from
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  happening again? So before you go back to your
• 3:18
  lying, cheating, abusive, manipulative partner, ask
• 3:22
  yourself if they give you the excuse I didn't know what I
• 3:25
  doing. I had no memory of what I did.
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  That's worse. If they don't understand or know
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  what they did, how can they stop it from happening again?
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  They go out there right there. If they don't know what they did
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  or what they've done, how can they stop it from happening
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  again? That's what you need to ask
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  yourself right there. It's one of those questions that
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  you need to have with yourself right there to understand how to
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  move forward or how to protect yourself or how to stay safe.
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  If they claim they don't know what they did, how can they stop
• 3:55
  them from doing? How can they stop themselves
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  from doing it again? A lot of them absolutely know
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  what they have done to you. A lot of them absolutely know
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  what they have put you through, right?
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  A lot of them do. A lot of them absolutely know
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  that right there. So when they try to just say I
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  don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what's wrong, and
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  they're not trying to figure it out, you're in danger.
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  Maybe not physical danger, but emotional danger nonetheless.
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  And I feel like a lot of people downplay emotional danger.
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  Like it's not tough to like it's not scary as hell to deal with.
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  Emotional danger is absolutely worse.
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  I mean, no, not absolutely worse.
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  It can be worse because it lasts longer.
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  Emotional danger lasts longer. The wounds from emotional danger
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  could absolutely, you could be healing those for a very, very
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  long time. You can, you could be healing
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  the wounds of emotional danger for an extremely long time.
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  Like they're like, I'm just telling y'all, like, I want
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  y'all to be safe. I want you to protect yourself.
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  So do narcissists know what they're doing?
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  A lot of them do, yes. Because they don't do it to
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  y'all. They don't look.
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  Yeah, if they don't do it to everybody, I can see if there
• 5:07
  was in public, yell in the scrutiny, being abusive to
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  everybody, they might. You know what I'm saying?
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  You kind of you kind of off, but if they're just doing it to you
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  and nobody else, they go out in public.
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  If they go out in public, they're shaking everybody's
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  hand. Like how you doing?
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  How you doing? You're great, you're funny,
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  you're amazing, but they treat you like crap.
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  That shows you right there what's going on.
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  That shows you right there what they're doing.
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  That shows you right there what they've been manifesting and how
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  it how how the situation is going right there.
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  They're showing you that they know what they're doing.
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  They'll look, they'll be treating somebody else good
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  right in front of you and they'll look at you and smile or
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  smirk at you. They're like, you're such an
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  amazing person. I love giving compliments and
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  you over there hurt you like what the hell?
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  You don't give me compliments. Why are you giving these
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  compliments to the strangers? What I do wrong?
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  You see how tough that is to deal with right there when
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  you're dealing with it emotionally or emotionally or
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  physically abusive person, This not being the same way to
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  everybody. You makes you feel like you're
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  the problem and they tell you that you're the problem.
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  I only act like this with you. So the next time, the next time
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  your abusive partner or parent says that right there, I only
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  act this way with you. Ask yourself, why is that?
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  It's because you know you can get away with it behind closed
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  doors. Because I can't prove it because
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  I haven't recorded it. I have no documentation of it.
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  You don't leave bruises like yelling doesn't leave bruises.
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  Emotional abuse doesn't leave bruises.
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  Is that why or is you? Are you making it up?
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  Are you lying? Are you trying to blame me for?
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  Are you trying to blame me for being a victim of my own abuse?
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  What? Why?
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  Is that why you treated me? Why?
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  Ask yourself? Ask yourself and ask them that
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  question. Be careful.
• 7:02
  If they've been physically abusive or they've lost their
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  mind, they can use it. They can do it again, y'all, But
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  it's something you have to ask yourself.
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  Why is it? They'll try to make you seem
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  like you are at fault for your own abuse.
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  You know what you're doing here. You know what you did.
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  You know how you're behaving, you know how you're acting.
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  They make it seem like you're the craziest, most dangerous
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  person in the world. Why is that?
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  You see this thing that that was a question right there.
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  You have to ask yourself right there, because narcissistic
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  people are going to try to make you feel like you're responsible
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  for what happens to you. You're responsible for what
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  you've been through. You're responsible for the abuse
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  that you endured. I don't treat anybody else like
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  this because nobody else treats me like you treat me.
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  Nobody else makes me snap like you make me snap.
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  So you are it's your fault you. I'm abusing you.
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  What? You see what I'm saying, And
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  because you might be a survivor or a victim of narcissistic
• 8:02
  abuse or domestic violence, whatever the case may be, you
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  might be a victim of this. Sometimes you will start to
• 8:08
  blame yourself because you see them treating everybody
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  differently. You see them behaving
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  differently. You see them smiling and being
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  cordial and friendly and kind, caring, compassionate, sometimes
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  empathetic in public. They watch you Boo Hoo cry while
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  you're after your parent passed away or your dog passed away,
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  something like that. They watch you Boo Hoo cry and
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  told you to shut the hell up. But you see, like they they
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  they're at a few somebody else's funeral.
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  They hugging and embracing everybody like come on, got you,
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  got you. So, so sorry you went through
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  that. And but they told you to shut.
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  They told you to shut the hell up.
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  So you sometimes you might feel like you are the problem, but
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  that's what they want you to feel.
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  Y'all. They want you to feel like you
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  are the problem. They want you to feel like you
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  are because of your own abuse. They want you to feel this way
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  because they benefit from you feeling bad.
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  They absolutely benefit from you feeling bad about what you going
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  through, what you what, what you've endured.
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  They benefit from that. You don't you see what I'm
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  saying? They benefit from your
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  confusion. They benefit from your from your
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  like from your struggle. They benefit from that.
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  So they're going to keep doing things that they benefit from.
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  And I said, the longer like, how do I say this?
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  The longer you stay in these abusive, manipulative
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  situations, the tougher it is to leave.
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  But the more excuses that they feel like they have to keep
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  abusing you because they feel like your presence in their
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  relationship gives them permission to treat you a
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  certain type of way. You if it was so bad, why don't
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  you just leave? If I'm such a horrible person,
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  why are you still here? You see that mentality?
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  If I'm so bad, why you don't just leave me?
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  If I'm such a horrible person or abuse, if I'm an abuser, why are
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  you with me? You must like the abuse, right?
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  Am I right? You see that mentality that so
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  many people experience and so many people go through right?
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  There you see it, you understand it, you probably dealt with it
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  before. So that's something that you
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  have to reconcile with as you're trying to heal and grow and get
• 10:10
  through narcissistic abuse. That that person does know what
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  they're doing. And if they claim to not know
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  what they're doing, they, if they claim to not know that
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  they're being abusive, ask, ask them why, why they don't do it
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  to somebody else. I'm not abusive to you.
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  Why don't you treat your sister like this or your brother like
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  this? Why don't you talk to your mom
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  like you talked to me? Why don't you talk to your dad?
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  Why don't you talk to your friend, your besties?
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  Why don't you talk to them the same way you talk to me?
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  Why don't you treat them the same way you treat me?
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  Because they know what they're doing.
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  They know it's bull. They know it's BS, they
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  absolutely do, but they want to convince you that they don't
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  know. They want to convince you that
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  it's not BS. They want to convince you that
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  you are the you are not the victim here, they are the
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  victim. That's what they want to
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  convince you. As of y'all that's I'm just
• 10:56
  serious. They want to convince you that
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  they are the victim and not you. That's what happens a lot of
• 11:02
  times in relationships. They want to convince you that
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  you are not the victim here. They are.
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  They really are. They they feel like they might
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  actually feel like they are the victim area.
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  So these situations get deeper as it they kind of started to
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  bury you beneath the mess. You got to understand that a lot
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  of times that's what's going to happen.
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  You know, a bug just flew in front of my office following.
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  I was like where they want a little, little bugs that
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  attracted to the light because it got darker here they were
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  flying in front of the light. The bug is the narcissist and it
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  knows what it's doing. I knew it flew in front of my
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  face. Why did in front of my Why
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  didn't it fly in front of my face earlier?
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  They knew what it was doing. Anyways, y'all thank you for
• 11:41
  making it this far. Hit that subscribe button if you
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  haven't. Y'all appreciate the support so
• 11:45
  much. Like if you also if you want to
• 11:49
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• 11:52
  Support the channel any way you can and I am out please.