Latest / Pod Therapy / #348: Podcasts at Work, Dog Biased Therapist, Abusive Roommate

Transcript

#348: Podcasts at Work, Dog Biased Therapist, Abusive Roommate · Pod Therapy

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You know, I'm sorry for one hundred and fifty K.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I can give you three babies. Shit, you don't know
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: the right people.
• 0:06
  Speaker 2: Uh, you gotta know somebody. You can get that three
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: for one baby bitcoin view.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: This episode has a Babe possible by our therap partners
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Dirty Beat and Pickets from.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Fabulous Las Vegas. No matter.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: This is pod therapy, real people, real problems, and real therapists.
• 0:28
  Speaker 1: You can submit your questions anonymously at pod therapy dot
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: net or email us at pot therapy guys at gmail
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: dot com. And now broadcasting from the Churn. That's Jim,
• 0:38
  Speaker 1: that's Whitney. I'm Nick side for some pod therapy.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: Well hello, bam, it is officially September. I hope everybody
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: got themselves some kick ass Labor Day sales.
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: I've been looking at refrigerators.
• 0:49
  Speaker 2: Yeah it's time, but then the problem is, yeah, ice
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: making kitchen fridge or new so main fred Mainfredge, not
• 0:56
  Speaker 2: like a garage fridge or anything. I want to demote
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: this one to the garage and then get the fresh one.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: But the problem is you get in there and smoking deals.
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: He's a really great all right, awesome, but then you
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: look at it, you're like, well, fuck this, this fridge
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: isn't going to match my washer, and it isn't going
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: to match the fucking oven and stove dishwasher, and so yeah,
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: like not the other appliances.
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: I don't hear that. Why would you need your fridge
• 1:16
  Speaker 3: to match your wife exactly? You know she doesn't want
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: to wear it.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: It's still hot, but you know it's a pain in
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: the ass because then you're like, Okay, well, I don't
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: want to just buy this one because then it's not
• 1:31
  Speaker 2: going to perfectly match the other things, and you want
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: to buy everything.
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: When you say match, like how close.
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: To the same brand? So that shameless steel, Yeah.
• 1:41
  Speaker 3: It can't just be stalless steel.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: Well it is, but the stainless steel is never going
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: to be perfect. So if you get Whirlpool versus Samsung,
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: it is a different shade and it's not subtle. It's
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: it's pretty obvious. How can you tell, oh man, you
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: could tell, like one of them is like gun metal
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: and like the other one's like a lighter chrome, I mean,
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: not not like nickel, but like it's it's it's obvious.
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: If you thought about just taking your appliances to an
• 2:05
  Speaker 5: auto body shop and having them just chrome them for you.
• 2:08
  Speaker 6: Yeah, no idea, No, get a wrap okay, vinyl wrap, yeah,
• 2:17
  Speaker 6: really logo.
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: You can just have like the giant pod therapy tree.
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: I could just refrigerator. Yeah, honestly, have we not already
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: done that? That's just a really good idea. So I
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: can never pull the trigger on this. I still haven't.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: So I tell all your appliances and buy all new ones.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: That's where I'm at.
• 2:34
  Speaker 2: I'm at the place of like, but the sales are
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: so good that you're like, Okay, it must be nice.
• 2:38
  Speaker 3: Well, but they'll they'll get you money, no interest loan.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: He's using the pod therapy car. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. By
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: the way, don't check the bankerchief I'm getting on. Yeah,
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: check that you're gonna get it. Yeah. The new fridge
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: is I've in best old speaking of which you need
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: not to come back in two months for the ice,
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: just the cooler for now. Thanks.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: I haven't made any purchases yet. Are any of you
• 3:11
  Speaker 2: guys taking advantaging in the sales this weekend?
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Going for it?
• 3:14
  Speaker 2: We might buy a new mattress. Look, we're looking at a
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: couple of mattresses, and we're looking at the one that
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I'm looking I shouldn't say we. I been looking at
• 3:23
  Speaker 2: one that has the adjustable frame.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Yes, I want that.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: And s J's first response was like, what's an old
• 3:30
  Speaker 5: person bed news for you?
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: Fine?
• 3:33
  Speaker 6: Yeah, whatever this means, I don't care.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: I'm still interested.
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Jacob throws his flowing gray hair.
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you know we should get We actually need to
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: get a new bed as well, actually another bed, not
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: really a replacement.
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: Bet because people need Well, here's the thing, so the
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: dog is really getting selfish.
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: Well, so my my father and stepma there have already
• 4:00
  Speaker 1: agreed that they're going to come house set for us,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: and I don't.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: I haven't told them yet and they don't listen to
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: the show. But I haven't told them yet that we
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: don't have, as of right now a place for them
• 4:11
  Speaker 3: to sleep. So yeah, what do we need to solve
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: that problem?
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're gonna house it for you. Yes, so they're
• 4:19
  Speaker 2: gonna be there when you're not there, yes, okay, but
• 4:23
  Speaker 2: there's gonna be some overlap. They're coming like they're coming
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: like four days early. They'll price stick a couple of days.
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: And you don't feel like an air mattress is a
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: suitable solution to this.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: What most likely will happen. They'll take our bed and
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: then we'll have to figure something.
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: Out, and then you're gonna air mattress it probably, dude,
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: there's some good air mattresses.
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: Like, yeah, I've had I've had a few. Actually. When
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: I first moved to.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: Vegas, I I had an air mattress for like the
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: first two months.
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, you can definitely survive on it.
• 4:49
  Speaker 2: I had a great one for a while in California,
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: but eventually it was an air mattress.
• 4:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, yeah after after a while.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I want to frame though, I've been looking for that
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: same thing.
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:00
  Speaker 2: And have you seen the sleep number beds like that?
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: Change the firmness. I'm in that age range.
• 5:06
  Speaker 3: I'm not very.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Interesting and being able to change if I if somebody
• 5:10
  Speaker 5: gave me a sleep number bed, yeah, change the firmness
• 5:13
  Speaker 5: and everything.
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: Awesome.
• 5:15
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't need to change the firmness of my
• 5:17
  Speaker 5: mattress on a nightly basis.
• 5:19
  Speaker 3: But are you more one? Yeah?
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: Once I pick out a mattress that i'm that I'm
• 5:24
  Speaker 5: comfortable with, yeah, I'm gonna be pretty happy with that match.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: What I'm hearing in that, though, is that you and
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: s J must happen to be on the same page
• 5:31
  Speaker 2: with pretty much are That's why that works in any
• 5:34
  Speaker 2: other if you if you're so, we're in very different buckets.
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Like I want the affirm a bucket at all. Yeah,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: that's probably. Yeah, this fucking bucket is really hurting my back.
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: I like it a very firm mattress. And I guess
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: maybe I because I want like like hotel mattresses, you know,
• 5:50
  Speaker 2: when you get to the hotel like this, this fucking.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Thing, a lot of other people have slept on it. Yeah,
• 5:54
  Speaker 3: that's what I'm looking for. A lot of aren't familiar.
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: I was gonna subtly nod toy for you. Just ram
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: the fucking car right through the window. I'll till you
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: get the comes to this.
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: If you want to learn how babies are made patreon
• 6:09
  Speaker 2: dot com slash therapy.
• 6:10
  Speaker 3: It is a really good episode comes.
• 6:14
  Speaker 2: Basically, we learned that Whitney got to experience the miracle
• 6:18
  Speaker 2: of birth patre dot com slash therapy. You can learn
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: all about it. Uh, and we learned leg kind of
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: how we learned all the things. Also, please go to
• 6:28
  Speaker 2: vote Jim dot net every day, every device, all month
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: long and vote for me best of Las Vegas.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: I was not sure.
• 6:34
  Speaker 3: Help it is going.
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: I have not had the chance to get in there
• 6:38
  Speaker 2: yet and announce it, so if I put it on
• 6:40
  Speaker 2: our socials. But this is the first episode I've been
• 6:42
  Speaker 2: able to get going. But the voting has already been
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: going for like two weeks, and I forgot to.
• 6:46
  Speaker 3: Say it two weeks ago, and then I was out
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: last week.
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: It's there, you got so I did yet click that?
• 6:52
  Speaker 3: And that he always does this.
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: You never likes the goddamn that you just he clicks
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: the vote and then doesn't submit and then he closes
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: the window.
• 7:05
  Speaker 3: Don't don't do it, do that finish the process. Please
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: vote Jim.
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: Dot net every day, every device. I super duper appreciate it.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: It helps me out a great deal. We got a
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: lot of great questions for this week's episode, some great
• 7:18
  Speaker 2: ones coming in. And want to remind you that the
• 7:20
  Speaker 2: cue is getting light. So get those questions submitted Patreon
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: dot com. You can come on or patreon dot net.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: God only knows her. Patreon dot com goes, but patreon
• 7:29
  Speaker 2: dot net.
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: What do you even say? Thank you?
• 7:31
  Speaker 2: Od therapy dot com. Thank you, I know you exactly knows.
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Just pray we'll get it. Jim jimsis always hears your prayers,
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: all right. First question of the night listening to podcasts
• 7:52
  Speaker 2: at work from Patty g Hi, guys, time for a
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: lighthearted question. I work in manufacturing and have spent the
• 7:59
  Speaker 2: past few months bringing your back catalog over my headphones
• 8:03
  Speaker 2: during my long shifts because I'm a bad boy. Thank you,
• 8:07
  Speaker 2: Whitney binging your back catalog over my headphones during my
• 8:11
  Speaker 2: long shifts. I love the way pod therapy combines humor
• 8:14
  Speaker 2: and storytelling with genuine advice and empathy for mental health struggles.
• 8:19
  Speaker 2: You're one of my favorite podcasts for getting in a
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: good headspace and helping me to think positively and productively.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: This week, I get to work and find out that
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: headphones are now banned thanks to sub idiot who wasn't
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: paying at engine and got hurt and ruined things for.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: The restories Thanks to me.
• 8:36
  Speaker 2: I'm idiot getting injured. I'm no longer thinking positively or productively.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: We're allowed to use personal speakers, but the machines I
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: run are really loud and drown out your dulcet tones.
• 8:48
  Speaker 2: How should I spend my twelve hour shifts now that
• 8:51
  Speaker 2: podcasts and audiobooks are out, usually at least three hours
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: per shift is just sitting and waiting for things to finish,
• 9:00
  Speaker 2: and the rest is physically active, if not the most
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: mentally engaging. Being on your phone for more than a
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: moment to change your music or text our boss is
• 9:07
  Speaker 2: a no go. To make it harder, the work I
• 9:10
  Speaker 2: do cutting up carbon fiber composites to make airplane parts
• 9:13
  Speaker 2: is dirty. Everything is covered in a fine layer of
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: carbon dust. I've been bringing books to work, but unless
• 9:19
  Speaker 2: I'm super careful, they end up with black fingerprints everywhere.
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: Maybe I should take up knitting, as long as the
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: yarn is already black.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: Help.
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: I joke about always listening to so many podcasts that
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: I don't have to be alone with my thoughts, but
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: it's not so funny now that I'm climbing the walls
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: with boredom. By nine am, any suggestions for productive or
• 9:38
  Speaker 2: mental health focused ways to kill time, ideas for maliciously
• 9:42
  Speaker 2: compliant music choices to inflict on my coworkers, or any
• 9:45
  Speaker 2: tips on how to write a manifesto to get a
• 9:48
  Speaker 2: giant billion dollar corporation to roll back their stupid headphone rule.
• 9:54
  Speaker 2: I'm dying over here. Thanks, for all you do pink
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: plastic pen pronouns or she and her s. I would
• 10:01
  Speaker 2: love to hear your thoughts experience for research on TMS
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: Transcranial magnetic stimulation therapy. I finally got my insurance to
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: agree to pay for it, and I'm starting it soon, hopefully.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Hear that on Patreon thinks Okay, yeah, that's a good
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: that's a good deep that is a good deep dive.
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: TMS is really interesting.
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: Okay, the easiest, let's just pick the low hanging fruit here.
• 10:22
  Speaker 1: Just bigger speakers.
• 10:23
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I already already pulled the What you want is
• 10:27
  Speaker 5: Bow's S one pro plus portable Bluetooth speaker system. Okay,
• 10:33
  Speaker 5: what the what the Bows S one plus portable blue
• 10:37
  Speaker 5: speaker system will get you?
• 10:40
  Speaker 2: He pulled it up on the on the screen. We're
• 10:41
  Speaker 2: looking at it. It's any speaker, it's portable. Fuck it
• 10:46
  Speaker 2: has it has a rechargeable battery.
• 10:49
  Speaker 3: Does it get wheels? You can even you can even
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: plug it in charge it out. Dude, what is the
• 10:53
  Speaker 3: measurement that looks like a suitcase? Is my suitcase? Just
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: carry on? It's like like a.
• 10:58
  Speaker 2: Carry on, smaller definitely smaller than that. No, it doesn't
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: have wheels. You can't carry it. Oh it's a few
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: pounds and has one that she takes to gigs every
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: now and then.
• 11:11
  Speaker 5: But it's like seven hundred bucks. It is, uh, surprisingly loud.
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: Okay, here's the thing. Yeah, here's the thing. Play the
• 11:20
  Speaker 3: I'll bet it. Correct me if I'm wrong. Go ahead.
• 11:23
  Speaker 3: You can probably go to like Errands or someplace and
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: rent it. And here's the reason why. I don't know
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: what errands is, but sure it tech rental.
• 11:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah you yeah, TV because my thought is is that
• 11:35
  Speaker 1: you don't need to buy this because you bring this
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: in once on one dang the policy and they'll bring headphones.
• 11:41
  Speaker 2: I think they're just going to add one more line
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: to the policy. It says also don't bring that specific speaker.
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: There's only one way to know actually right, Actually, I've
• 11:48
  Speaker 2: got it.
• 11:49
  Speaker 5: I've got how you how you actually just roll it
• 11:51
  Speaker 5: back so you can she can listen to podcast and
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: audio books just on a speaker, right, like on.
• 11:56
  Speaker 3: The phone, just horrible bluetooth speakers. You're fine. Audio book
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: all about how to unionize a.
• 12:04
  Speaker 2: Problem that would you're done?
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: Oh that's just gonna work. Oh yeah, this is how
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: the union in Yes, just legit. They will just the
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: entire time, or they won't and you'll get a nice
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: union coming in.
• 12:24
  Speaker 2: And then either way, well, I mean I kind of
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: think what about those, like, don't they have those neck things? Yeah,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: because it doesn't cover your ears, it lays on your
• 12:34
  Speaker 2: neck or you can.
• 12:36
  Speaker 5: Do the bone conductor and then it goes around your
• 12:40
  Speaker 5: ears on the on the bones around your car line.
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and then it just plays the music through that.
• 12:46
  Speaker 3: You absolutely do that.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: I've seen glasses ones too, and I don't know if
• 12:50
  Speaker 2: they have them attached to safety glasses yet, but there's
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: definitely prescription glasses that I had. A guy talked me
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: on Zoom that had these. He had prescription glasses and
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: then baked into the things where it was the headset,
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: the bluetooth headset playing.
• 13:02
  Speaker 3: It was a speaker or it was an ear piece
• 13:05
  Speaker 3: connected glasses.
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: It was not an earpiece, so the stems of the
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: glasses that were going over to the speaker or something.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And it was like the bone conduction. And it
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: was also too it was also a phone.
• 13:15
  Speaker 5: Well, there's a lot of them that have the bone
• 13:16
  Speaker 5: conduct there's some that have the bone conduction, and there's
• 13:18
  Speaker 5: some that just have a little speaker like on the stem, yes,
• 13:21
  Speaker 5: which is kind of how the like the VR headsets.
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, they have tiny speak they're pretty powerful.
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: Steaming right into your ear hole.
• 13:30
  Speaker 3: That's it. So nothing visibly is covering you, right, And
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: so that I think is the move.
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: There's actually I think the bone conduction headset might be
• 13:38
  Speaker 2: the real answer because that's like covering your ears at all,
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: you could still hear. I think that's it, but we're
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: more fun answer here around the Union book. I think
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: it's it's the nineteen nineties boom body on the shoulder,
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: the ghetto black fucking yes, just walking around with it.
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: That's the move. So I think we've obviously solved this.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: But let's take a plan beyond this. So we've already
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: saw we've got like a well, we've solved it with
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: here's tech solutions. But I guess we should also speak
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: to if you're a human who's dealing with chronic boredom
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: at work and you're finding you cannot get out of
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: your head, do we have tricks for that?
• 14:15
  Speaker 3: Nope, That's why podcasts exists.
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: And when we come back, we're talking about having a
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: dog bias.
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, I don't head. I got to answer that
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: it is nice.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: We should probably, we should probably try. This is absolutely
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: a thing, though, And like I saw a meme the
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: other day said something like, I'm two more podcast subscriptions
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: away from never having to be alone with my thoughts again, And.
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: That is so true.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I cannot drive without a podcast playing, Like if I
• 14:55
  Speaker 2: cannot pull out of my driveway if something's not playing,
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: because it is like the longest fucking are you just.
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: You don't listen to music anymore, very rarely.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Sometimes it's got to be a podcast because I've always
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: got like a shit ton of things in my feed
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: that I want to listen to, but I've got to
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: have something on at all times. Or if I'm playing
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: video games, i can't just play video games. Have to
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: have podcasts going at all times.
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm that way too, and it kind of bothers me.
• 15:21
  Speaker 3: You wish you weren't like that. I'm a little worried.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: Well, I have to have multiple forms of entertainment happening
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: at the same time.
• 15:30
  Speaker 3: Dude, Yes, that's kind of scary.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: Oh no, it's a problem we all have, like this
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: weird attention deficit problem. Well, and also you get I
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: think you. I would imagine for you this is even
• 15:38
  Speaker 2: worse because like for me, I'm in session, and so
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: when I'm in session, obviously that I cann't do that.
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: But if you have a job where you could listen
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: to podcasts while you're doing it, I think you fall
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: into a deep hole of now I do yeah, and
• 15:50
  Speaker 2: I have to do you Is that true for you?
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: Kind of?
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: I there's some parts of my job that I can
• 15:59
  Speaker 1: listen to podcasts while I'm doing and then other parts
• 16:02
  Speaker 1: that require me to read. And if i'm if I
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: ever read, I can't do it, like I've got to
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: have either silence or I could do instrumental music.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: Okay, that's about it.
• 16:11
  Speaker 4: I feel like when I worked at the insurance company,
• 16:14
  Speaker 4: you would have to read clinical so you're trying to
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: make decisions.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: But I just had to smashing the deny button, right,
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: so you don't really have to read anything.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: That's easy. Part of my day.
• 16:25
  Speaker 4: Like exactly, but I would play a or put on
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: a playlist that I knew all the songs, so if
• 16:35
  Speaker 4: it's a new song, and then it'll pull my attention
• 16:38
  Speaker 4: away from what I'm doing. But I would kind of
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: listen to like the same songs, but it couldn't be
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: a podcast or anything. I had to pay attention to
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: those new info yeah like stuff because then my attention
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: is drawn to that. But the instrumental music even that,
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: because if it's new, then I'm listening to the instrumental music,
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: like I don't know. It didn't work, but I don't know.
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: I feel like I will get in the car very
• 16:59
  Speaker 4: often and be in silence.
• 17:03
  Speaker 3: Really, yeah, are you in your talk that a few times?
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: Are you thinking or you just in the present driving
• 17:10
  Speaker 3: the car.
• 17:12
  Speaker 4: I would say that we know her is not. You
• 17:19
  Speaker 4: know what, y'all put a lot of hating on women
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: driving things.
• 17:22
  Speaker 3: Today for private Jesus revisit.
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: You thought I didn't see that.
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: I didn't text it was at first I thought he
• 17:38
  Speaker 2: said beating women.
• 17:40
  Speaker 4: WHOA No, I find that text. I find that I
• 17:48
  Speaker 4: like podcasts, and or I like little YouTube channels that
• 17:53
  Speaker 4: are podcast vibes just on YouTube. I'll put those on.
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: But if I feel over stimulated, like I've had a
• 18:01
  Speaker 4: long day at work, or I'm just like I woke
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: up that morning and I'm just over stimulated, then I
• 18:06
  Speaker 4: will put on music. Maybe if I'm trying to go
• 18:08
  Speaker 4: to the gym or something. But a lot of times
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: it's just like I like getting in my car and
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: I like nothing being on. That is like the sacred
• 18:15
  Speaker 4: quiet space. Wow, I enjoy and way back in the day.
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: I don't do this anymore. But I guess when I
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: used to go to a job, like, you know, working
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: with foster kids, I would come home and just sit
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: in the car for like five, ten, fifteen minutes, like
• 18:29
  Speaker 4: in the garage. I don't even have children, there's no
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: one all.
• 18:33
  Speaker 5: But I'm just like to be clear, while you were
• 18:35
  Speaker 5: in the garage the car was running or not.
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we'll never know.
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: We're glad you're still with us. Thanks to speak to you.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: Any of you ever had a job that is like
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: what the writer's saying here, Yeah, I have your daddy.
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: But a job that is like so tedious, right, I
• 18:51
  Speaker 2: mean this actually twelve hour shifts, twenty four hours in
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: your brain.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: It kind of reminds me a little bit of a
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: job that I had after is, after my freshman year
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: of college, came back home for the summer. So me
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: and and their producer Ben Don had a job where
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: we were building storm doors, so like screen doors and
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: stuff that go you know. And yeah, so we were
• 19:12
  Speaker 1: working at this this factory that was building these doors,
• 19:16
  Speaker 1: and we actually had a conversation with like the upper
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: management because when they put on like some upbeat like music,
• 19:24
  Speaker 1: some fast music, our production numbers we could watch, you know,
• 19:28
  Speaker 1: like our numbers on our line.
• 19:30
  Speaker 3: It was totally.
• 19:32
  Speaker 1: And then but then they would like we had one
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: maybe two days of some really great music and we
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: put up some killer numbers and then they went back
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: to this.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: Like smooth j yeah at this old.
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: Stuff that they and then and we had this conversation
• 19:49
  Speaker 1: with him like, hey, like you know, we're way more productive,
• 19:52
  Speaker 1: you know, or maybe we can have one day a
• 19:54
  Speaker 1: week where we get to pick the music or something.
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: And they wouldn't they wouldn't budge on it like productivity, Yeah, to.
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: Get a speed here it was.
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: It was and I think it was for the same
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: safety reasons, which was like there was they played music
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: throughout this huge plant.
• 20:12
  Speaker 3: And this plant was huge.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: Okay, but you've ever seen yeah, no one ever had
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: headphones or anything like that, you know, But yeah, I
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: don't know, I've had jobs like that. And it does
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: when the music, especially if it's music that you just
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: don't like if you're already in a bad mood and
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: you're just hearing like the same music, oh god, it
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: just gets It's hard and you kind of have to
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: tune it out. And if you've got, you know, people
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: that you're working next to that you can strike up
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: a conversation with that at least distracts you a.
• 20:43
  Speaker 3: Little bit from it.
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so maybe that's a strategy, but it doesn't sound
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: like it.
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: I mean it sounds like you're kind of alone. Kind
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: of dude, that is that is really really tough.
• 20:52
  Speaker 2: I've had a couple of jobs where it was just
• 20:56
  Speaker 2: huge amounts of downtime.
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: You can't leave.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: You technically need to be present, but like there is
• 21:03
  Speaker 2: nothing for you to do, and you are staring at
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: the clock just ticking, and it's like, dude, what like
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: it's the worst whenever there's some kind of administrative rule
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: that's just like no, you just you cannot escape this.
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: You have no choice. I'm just realizing I've had a
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: lot of jobs like that, really wow.
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: Like I remember there's one job as working at this
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: hockey shop, like and so we're just selling hockey equipment
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: and like during the day from like noon to six,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: no one ever walks in there, so it's just us
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: and so.
• 21:33
  Speaker 3: There's just two of us, so many chores.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: Yeah, So like I would get I would put on
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: like all the goalie gear, Like I would get a
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: goalie set up, and the other kid.
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: Just run at the wall as as you could.
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: The other kid would stand at the other end of
• 21:47
  Speaker 1: the store and he'd just be shooting pucks.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: At me all day.
• 21:51
  Speaker 1: We never like all of the goalie equipment. It was
• 21:54
  Speaker 1: all brand new. It did not look new. None of
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: it looked new.
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: You're calling manufacturer, like you guys shipped us this and
• 22:02
  Speaker 2: it looks like ship.
• 22:04
  Speaker 3: We really need to get this right. This is terrible
• 22:06
  Speaker 3: unprofessional there.
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: Dude, it is hard man whenever, like you are stuck
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: in like your own brain space and there is no
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: way out.
• 22:14
  Speaker 3: That is so rough.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: And then like the writer says, like you get three
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: hours a day and aggregate that you could like pull
• 22:18
  Speaker 2: out a book, but I mean, damn man, like you
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: can't even do that because you own And that must
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: mean you can't use a lot of tech either because
• 22:25
  Speaker 2: of all this carbon ship like you can't it.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: Was like a Kindle or something by.
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: The same problem. Yeah, that's a mess. Man.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: Luckily we solved it with the glasses thing. I think
• 22:36
  Speaker 2: that the glasses speakers are the answer.
• 22:37
  Speaker 4: I mean you could also try, I just try talking
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: to a supervisor. I mean, probably nothing will happen, but
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: I think if enough people like start bringing it up,
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: there might be changed.
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: Like putting out I mean, if you could just hand.
• 22:49
  Speaker 2: Out all manifesto, like, hey, it's just some light reading materials.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: Since we're not allowed to listen to.
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: You, guys are around, leave them around.
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: The longer we talk about this, the more I like
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: Jacob's idea. I know, the blasting, the propaganda. It's a
• 23:03
  Speaker 3: very solid movie. It's very solid.
• 23:06
  Speaker 4: Inspire you. If you talk about getting unionized there, if.
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: You work at Tesla, you will be bugging. I don't know,
• 23:13
  Speaker 3: but is that a bad thing. I don't know.
• 23:15
  Speaker 4: Unemployment.
• 23:18
  Speaker 2: Wow, writer, Well, I'm glad that pot therapy served you
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: well all this time.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: I'm until we broke this story of pot therapy. It's
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: always there for you until it's fucking not and then
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: you just are done with it.
• 23:30
  Speaker 2: But I do hope you find a work around because
• 23:32
  Speaker 2: that is Ah, that's fresh hell for me. Man, Like
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: that is so hard to just address a day and
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: just the worst raw dogging the baby.
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm talking about.
• 23:44
  Speaker 2: You guys don't know about No, I don't know patroon
• 23:46
  Speaker 2: dot com slash therapy.
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: You'll find out what Jim's talking.
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: Jim Donnett, I need those votes now more than ever.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: Just don't vote. Let me get canceled.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: We're gonna take quick break, and when we come back,
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: we're talking about therapist having a dog bias.
• 24:00
  Speaker 3: You're listening to pod therapy. Today's episode is brought to
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: you by our theram partner, Smitty Scoop, Mason Miller, Test Miller, Biler,
• 24:11
  Speaker 3: t Paris Te Monico, Oscar swandros Panna Marie and Amma Kine.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: Would you like to sponsor the show?
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: Become a Serra producer Patreon dot com slosh therapy.
• 24:22
  Speaker 3: All right, thanks to Emma.
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: Today we are taking the n c M HCEE exam
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: in psychology.
• 24:31
  Speaker 2: Am it not again? Fuck this test? I failed this
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: motherfucker and then had to retake it. God damn it.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: It's a piece of shit. This whole thing's a piece of.
• 24:41
  Speaker 3: Something like this. Howur one Gym's doctor at the first time?
• 24:43
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: Also, what real quick because we didn't say it on
• 24:48
  Speaker 2: the main show. Emma Kine has officially anointed her horse,
• 24:53
  Speaker 2: Tonka Truck the Pony, as the official pony of pot Therapy.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: We have a pony. Everybody. Go to our Instagram.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: There's a adorable photo of Tonka Truck at a competition
• 25:04
  Speaker 2: in the official like zone, and Tonka's entire little what
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: is it called a corral stable stable has this gigantic
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: pod Therapy banner attached to it completely a QR code
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: that takes people to our show.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: So thank you so much, Emma.
• 25:19
  Speaker 2: If you want to meet Tonka Truck the Pony, the
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: official spokes pony of pod Therapy, come down to our
• 25:24
  Speaker 2: Instagram Pod Therapy guys and meet Tonka.
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: And if you want to meet the pony in person,
• 25:27
  Speaker 5: you can meet myself, Nick Whitney, and Jim's daughter Illinois
• 25:32
  Speaker 5: in Illinois.
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: Pod Therapy Live. My daughter will be signing autographs.
• 25:38
  Speaker 1: Okay, uh, Jacob, you get three points for every correct.
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: Hear RT just to make this fun wow which concept
• 25:49
  Speaker 3: emphasizes the importance of understanding the client's cultural background in
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: shaping their experiences and worldview. Common sense final answer, You're
• 25:59
  Speaker 3: gonna want to wait just cultural bias, cultural humility, cultural relativism,
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: cultural appropriation.
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: Maybe I don't remember the first part I want to see. Okay,
• 26:15
  Speaker 2: cultural relativism, that's where I'm going. Okay, which concept is
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: the importance of understanding the client's cultural background in shaping
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: their experiences in worldview? Our choices are bias, humility, relativism, appropriation.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: I'll take humility.
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: I feel like relativism is.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: Yeah, come on over, Whitney.
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: You said bias, humility, humility. M h. I really don't
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: want to answer what Jacobs don't want to be right,
• 26:51
  Speaker 4: because I think that's it. I'll get zero one to zero.
• 27:00
  Speaker 3: Oh, I love this game. Jim is about to fail again. Okay,
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: which model? And I was even I was sure of
• 27:07
  Speaker 3: that one too, Guys, I knew that.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: I'm definitely not totally Which model is commonly used in
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: crisis intervention? The counselor's response, the A B C model,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: the D E F model, G H I model, J
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: K L model.
• 27:29
  Speaker 2: Do you see why this test it's the dumbest goddamn
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: test in history.
• 27:34
  Speaker 3: It is so fucking stupid. I don't know why I'm
• 27:38
  Speaker 3: asking this, but could you repeat the question? Yes, which
• 27:41
  Speaker 3: model is commonly used in crisis intervention to guide the
• 27:44
  Speaker 3: counselor's responses. I'll go A D E F H I
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: or what was the j k L j k L.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: I know, A like the obvious answer.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: Come joined me with really like answering first, I do too,
• 28:04
  Speaker 3: because he gus take it a b C. I'm taking
• 28:08
  Speaker 3: a b C IS. But I'll say D E F
• 28:12
  Speaker 3: it's a b C. It's having all right, last one
• 28:25
  Speaker 3: for this round.
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: There's another one in the context of dual relationships. What
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: is the primary concern when a counselor engages in a
• 28:34
  Speaker 1: non professional relationship with a client pregnancy.
• 28:38
  Speaker 7: Her We were all there, quick draw that okay, A
• 28:50
  Speaker 7: they just yelled out sex.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: A.
• 28:54
  Speaker 1: The potential for enhancing the therapeutic alliance is that what
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: you call it? B the risk of exploitation and loss
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: of objective objectivity see the possibility of gaining deeper insights
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: into the client's issues. D the opportunity to provide more
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: comprehensive support.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: Cn D sound like it would be good? Things? Yeah
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: them sound good? Probably be I want be okay, so
• 29:22
  Speaker 3: you you all want the risk of exploitation and loss
• 29:25
  Speaker 3: of objectivity. I think if the questions about relationships.
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: What's the problem here.
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: This is the thing that I don't like about tests
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: because you're like.
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: Two answers there made it sound like sex between the
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: therapists and the.
• 29:41
  Speaker 3: Client was enhancing. Was definitely sexual. Okay, you're all correct
• 29:45
  Speaker 3: the risk of exploitations.
• 29:53
  Speaker 4: And Jacob is answering first.
• 29:55
  Speaker 3: He is the sp is built a wall. I'm pretty
• 30:08
  Speaker 3: much taking me and run up.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: Oh man, God, answer those questions. Yeah, I know he's
• 30:18
  Speaker 2: swinging out him as soon as the balls out. He's
• 30:22
  Speaker 2: the fence.
• 30:25
  Speaker 3: Alright.
• 30:25
  Speaker 2: Therapist as a dog biased, Hi'll thank you for taking
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: my question. The long and short is that my therapist
• 30:31
  Speaker 2: is extremely biased when it comes to dogs and has
• 30:35
  Speaker 2: really rubbed me the wrong way over our last few sessions.
• 30:40
  Speaker 2: But yeah, not belly rubs. My partner has a dog
• 30:43
  Speaker 2: with whom he absolutely adores. You could call him a
• 30:47
  Speaker 2: big dog person. I, on the other hand, do not
• 30:50
  Speaker 2: have dog. I, on the other hand, do not care
• 30:55
  Speaker 2: for any animals, dogs, cats, and the like. I'm not
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: a hater, I'm just indifferent. I've been working with my
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: therapist on ways to tolerate and still enjoy time with
• 31:03
  Speaker 2: my partner, even though that means also spending time with
• 31:06
  Speaker 2: a dog. Initially, she assessed that it wasn't so much
• 31:10
  Speaker 2: the dog, but my partner's lack of grooming and cleaning
• 31:13
  Speaker 2: up after his dog. Imagine floors lared with dog are
• 31:17
  Speaker 2: and a dog that hasn't been washed since we were
• 31:19
  Speaker 2: wearing winter coats. That was really bothering you with the dog.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: That's right, This made sense. I talked to my partner
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: and he agreed he would do a better job of
• 31:28
  Speaker 2: grooming and keeping his place more tidy. That made things
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: more comfortable when I visited, but it didn't turn me
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: into a dog fan.
• 31:35
  Speaker 3: Fast forward.
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: Over the last few sessions, I've expressed that I felt
• 31:38
  Speaker 2: unable to live with my partner in the future because
• 31:41
  Speaker 2: I simply did not feel comfortable living in the same
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: place as a dog. She seemed indignant that I could
• 31:47
  Speaker 2: do it. I just needed to make space for myself
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: or my partner, and I could get another dog that
• 31:53
  Speaker 2: I liked more, et cetera.
• 31:55
  Speaker 3: The therapist seemed to be unable for a dog.
• 31:57
  Speaker 2: Don't just get another dog. The therapist seemed to be
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: unable to understand that there could never be a dog
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: I wanted to live because I don't enjoy dogs, right.
• 32:07
  Speaker 2: She then went on to say she felt sad for
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: my partner because I wouldn't provide the love and attention
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: to his dog that she's sure he wished a partner would.
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: That's weird, that's weird. Your therapist is weird. This is great.
• 32:22
  Speaker 2: That really left a bad taste in my mouth. I
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: understand she is a dog person, but her lack of
• 32:27
  Speaker 2: objectivity and compassion has soured and otherwise great decades long
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: therapeutic relationship.
• 32:34
  Speaker 5: Over those decades, does your therapist do things like balance
• 32:37
  Speaker 5: a treat on your nose and not let you eat it.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: Until she says take it? You know, it didn't make
• 32:43
  Speaker 3: sense at the time. It's starting to up.
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: Our sessions now feel combative. Every time I bring up
• 32:49
  Speaker 2: my indifference towards my partner's dog. She always has water
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: for me available, that's right. Besides never bringing up the
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: dog topic again, I don't know how to move forward.
• 33:01
  Speaker 2: As an aside, I've been seeing a secondary therapist for
• 33:04
  Speaker 2: grief counseling due to a recent loss, and she seems
• 33:07
  Speaker 2: so much more understanding that some people simply are not
• 33:10
  Speaker 2: fans of pets. Yeah, I enjoy speaking with her. And
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to dump my long term therapist. I'd appreciate
• 33:16
  Speaker 2: any advice. Pronouns are she and her thanks, friends, anonymous.
• 33:21
  Speaker 3: Maybe get another dog, additional dogs.
• 33:25
  Speaker 2: You know, the problem isn't that you're not a dog person.
• 33:28
  Speaker 2: The problem is you haven't met the right dog.
• 33:30
  Speaker 4: Okay, your relationship is what it feels.
• 33:34
  Speaker 3: That is exactly it.
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: Like this same thing I have seen play out with
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: other value because okay, so fundamentally this is values and position.
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: That's what's happening. It's in a cheeky way, but this
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: is a therapist imposing their values in the world view
• 33:49
  Speaker 2: and what they think is normal and right onto a
• 33:52
  Speaker 2: person who doesn't share it. And like one that we
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: see all the time that that isn't this dog thing's
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: pretty new, but usually it's babies and so like a
• 34:00
  Speaker 2: lot of times you'll have somebody like women, especially if
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: you're a woman who doesn't want to have children. There
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: are so many times that you will be forced into
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: therapy your family's concerned or whatever the fuck, or you
• 34:11
  Speaker 2: want to there's situations where if a woman wants to
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: go get her tubes tied, oh, that she's got to
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: go get fucking therapy. First, which is society imposing a
• 34:17
  Speaker 2: goddamn value on her. Oh, she's gotta get her husband
• 34:20
  Speaker 2: to come say that it's okay or whatever, we'll do it.
• 34:24
  Speaker 3: Or they make you go see a therapist and the
• 34:26
  Speaker 3: therapist is like, well, let's I love my babies. Let
• 34:29
  Speaker 3: me talk to you about babies.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: You know, you just maybe you haven't held one yet,
• 34:32
  Speaker 2: like and it's just like that shit is fucking offensive, Like,
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: listen to me.
• 34:36
  Speaker 3: It's not for me, fucking you.
• 34:38
  Speaker 5: What you do then is And I think this will
• 34:40
  Speaker 5: work for what's what's the writer's.
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: Name anonymous and not a mis anonymous, So I think
• 34:44
  Speaker 3: this will work for Anna Musk.
• 34:46
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah, And uh, I think you just
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: tell the therapist.
• 34:50
  Speaker 3: Look, let's do you know I used to not like babies.
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: You could just you can have this whole thing written
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: out for yourself, Like I used to not like babies,
• 34:56
  Speaker 2: and then my my sister had a baby and I
• 35:00
  Speaker 2: held my sister's baby and it was the most beautiful
• 35:03
  Speaker 2: feeling I've ever.
• 35:04
  Speaker 3: Had, and I love babies ever since.
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: So maybe you could just bring one of your dogs
• 35:09
  Speaker 2: in and I could hold your dog, and maybe that'll
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: And then she brings it in and just drop.
• 35:14
  Speaker 3: It right on its head and then immediately go ship,
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: just like my nephew Window.
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: I would just like to remind everybody that Jacob's views
• 35:26
  Speaker 1: expressed on the show, Yeah the quiz today, Yeah, I was.
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: Gonna say that, and like he's answering questions over here.
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: I'm really trying to myself. I don't have nine points
• 35:39
  Speaker 2: on the trivia.
• 35:41
  Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. This reminds me of a friend I
• 35:46
  Speaker 4: had that went to their therapist for quite a while
• 35:49
  Speaker 4: and then one day they went into session in person
• 35:51
  Speaker 4: and the therapist brought their dog in.
• 35:53
  Speaker 3: Oh boy, I.
• 35:54
  Speaker 4: Was like, they didn't even ask you there, Like no,
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: So I made that mistake that once.
• 36:01
  Speaker 3: It was an accident. It was Jim. It was Jim,
• 36:04
  Speaker 3: so it probably was me.
• 36:05
  Speaker 2: Whoever the person was probably So I did that once
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: because it was a puppy and I didn't expect to
• 36:12
  Speaker 2: adopt the puppy I'd gotten the shelter.
• 36:13
  Speaker 3: I found this puppy, I adopted it.
• 36:16
  Speaker 2: It was impulsive, I thought, I it, Yeah, so I
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: know where to take this dog. And so I had
• 36:22
  Speaker 2: like two sessions that day, and so I just brought
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: the puppy.
• 36:26
  Speaker 3: And she brought a new puppy. It absolutely worked out.
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: I lucked out because both the patients were like, can
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: I please hold the dog? And I was like, yes,
• 36:35
  Speaker 2: are you cool with this? Because I could also like
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: the secretaries that should keep it, and they're like no, no, no, no,
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: I want this fucking dog.
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: And so it was great.
• 36:41
  Speaker 2: So like it worked out for me, but I was
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: like absolutely shitting bricks, Like, oh god, is.
• 36:45
  Speaker 3: This just I think a rule to follow anytime you
• 36:49
  Speaker 3: want to bring something into a session, whether that be
• 36:53
  Speaker 3: a puppy or fake drugs. Yeah, okay, just don't do it.
• 36:56
  Speaker 3: That's a weird poll. You know. That's out of the blue.
• 36:59
  Speaker 3: Seems I didn't see that in the light.
• 37:01
  Speaker 4: I know.
• 37:02
  Speaker 1: I feel like pattern is developing here. If you're bringing things.
• 37:06
  Speaker 2: Listen, dude, hurtful is libelous?
• 37:11
  Speaker 3: Okay? Not?
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: Libelous is only relevant if it's not true. Well then
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: I guess it's not that. That's just it's just hurtful.
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: Shaking a finger. User, have you know? I will not
• 37:24
  Speaker 2: stand for it. I'm gonna sit in this chair.
• 37:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is weird as though, right.
• 37:30
  Speaker 4: Weird After a seconde it would.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: Be really weird if a therapist wasn't right. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 37:37
  Speaker 3: because obviously we're on team dogs.
• 37:39
  Speaker 4: Right yeah, or ducks or ducks.
• 37:44
  Speaker 3: I'm on the I'm on the writer's side. Really wrong
• 37:47
  Speaker 3: with the writer. Guys. Dogs are like.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: Three people in this room have dogs.
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: But if you try dogs, yeah, you just have another
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: right dogs. You just need to try dogs.
• 37:57
  Speaker 1: It'll be better, No, I I I definitely agree with
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: the writer, although it is hard. Yeah, it's not though,
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: because like, no, I'm I'm definitely a dog person. I
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: love dogs, but I wasn't always that way.
• 38:13
  Speaker 3: Like I didn't have pets as a child.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Oh really yeah, so I grew up with no pets,
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: and so actually I grew up when I was a
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: little kid, I remember being very afraid of dogs. Yeah,
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: and so I can understand if I really think about it,
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: Like right now, it's hard for me to imagine like,
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: oh my gosh, somebody doesn't like dogs, right, But it's like, well, yeah,
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: it's not that hard though, because like I've experienced that.
• 38:38
  Speaker 1: I was I know what that's like. You know, I
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: used to be that person, but then I found the
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: right dog.
• 38:43
  Speaker 3: So yeah, that sells it. All.
• 38:45
  Speaker 2: This is in my opinion, like this is an example
• 38:48
  Speaker 2: of values in position that the therapist clearly has a
• 38:52
  Speaker 2: lived experience that they think is important, and they're now
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: imposing that that that heuristic of your partner needs from you,
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: that you love on his dogs, and you need to
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: do that that is appropriate the minute the therapist goes
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: into guiding you into what is functionally a moral value there, yeah,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: telling you this is what one should do, not because
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: the research says it, not because we know this from
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: clinical mental health. It's what you should do because I
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: and others like me, like your boyfriend, this is how
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: we would live, and it's weird that you're not doing it,
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: and like, I don't know, like I'm trying to think
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: of like adjacent examples, like what if your boyfriend had
• 39:34
  Speaker 2: a child. Let's say he's a Greek dude and he
• 39:36
  Speaker 2: recently had a surrogate give birth to his you know child.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Boy or girl.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: What do you think in this scenario We'll say girl
• 39:43
  Speaker 2: in this scenario, yeah, just hypothetically. Yeah, so like you know,
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: this Greek dude, gorgeous guy, just for I mean, just
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: let's fill out the example a little bit, you know,
• 39:50
  Speaker 2: because I don't like, yeah stamos ish, but I think
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: we agreed a little bit smoother, you know, smooth young.
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: It's doing very well, you know, and this guy as
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: a kid at home, and you're like, ah, I don't
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: think i'd ever want to live with you.
• 40:02
  Speaker 3: But I love you.
• 40:03
  Speaker 2: You're great, and I don't hate your child, but like
• 40:07
  Speaker 2: I don't like baby environments. I don't think you keep
• 40:09
  Speaker 2: it clean. I think I get really itchy around crying
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: babies and stuff. So I just don't think I would
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: live with you. That's my tu Like, Okay, that's okay.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: If that's like a problem in the relationship, Like boyfriend
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: is due his truth as well, and he's allowed to
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: sit down with that and say, okay, well where do
• 40:25
  Speaker 2: I see us going? You know, that's fine, But I
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: don't think it's cool to like pull that woman aside
• 40:30
  Speaker 2: and like tell her that she's a bad person or
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: like she's somehow like harming the relationship or harming the boyfriend.
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: Like that is her truth. There's nothing wrong with that.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: She's revealing it. Now we can talk about the impacts
• 40:43
  Speaker 2: of that truth. We can present her with the consequences
• 40:46
  Speaker 2: of that position, and she gets to be a big
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: girl and deal with that, and it may cost her
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: the relationship, or it may cost the growth of the relationship.
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: That's good therapy. If a therapist is bringing that up
• 40:55
  Speaker 2: to you, fine, But I don't like what this therapist
• 40:57
  Speaker 2: is doing.
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: How do you suggest this person and address that or
• 41:02
  Speaker 4: do they with their therapists? Do they just fade off
• 41:04
  Speaker 4: and go to someone else. I mean, they've known this
• 41:06
  Speaker 4: therapist for decades.
• 41:07
  Speaker 2: Like, I think you could bypass dealing with the therapist
• 41:10
  Speaker 2: entirely just by leaving the back door open.
• 41:15
  Speaker 3: Just that's it with I think there's let the dog escape.
• 41:20
  Speaker 2: He's still on the team. We can sabotage this by
• 41:22
  Speaker 2: just eliminating the dogs.
• 41:24
  Speaker 4: There's one way to solve this waiting just see who
• 41:28
  Speaker 4: would bring that.
• 41:29
  Speaker 3: I don't like losing a ten year therapy relationship.
• 41:32
  Speaker 4: That's what's hard for me, because I almost wonder if
• 41:35
  Speaker 4: this therapist got like too comfortable. If you've been around
• 41:39
  Speaker 4: that long, you get a little too comfortable and think
• 41:42
  Speaker 4: I can kind of let this down. I'm imagining I
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: haven't had a client for a decade, but I would
• 41:49
  Speaker 4: imagine that would.
• 41:50
  Speaker 3: And I've done it.
• 41:51
  Speaker 2: I've drifted into a really long term thing with somebody,
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: and at some point something is said, and I catch
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: I'll find myself over still and there they may be
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: gracious with me, and like, but I can see I
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: feel it the heart burning afterward, and when you're doing
• 42:07
  Speaker 2: kind of that after session reflection and you're going over
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: your notes and you're and you're playing it back, and
• 42:11
  Speaker 2: I remember having that moment where I'm like, damn it, Okay, Jim,
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: we need to dial this down, like you're yeah, we
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: need to get back in the lane here. You know,
• 42:19
  Speaker 2: we need to be very friendly for a therapist patient relationship. Yeah,
• 42:24
  Speaker 2: not friends, and I sometimes act more therapisty than not.
• 42:28
  Speaker 3: Right, we can't do that. We've got to get back
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: into the right.
• 42:30
  Speaker 4: I've touched into that lane too. It's it's hard when
• 42:32
  Speaker 4: you get very comfortable. But so I do wonder if
• 42:35
  Speaker 4: you've like never really had any other issues with this therapist.
• 42:39
  Speaker 4: And this is and that's a strong issue. I don't
• 42:42
  Speaker 4: want to invalidate. Like if I were in your shoes,
• 42:44
  Speaker 4: I would be annoyed as fuck, like what you're telling me, Like, yeah.
• 42:50
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I could definitely see that. I could also see
• 42:54
  Speaker 1: maybe a little transference happening in the sense that like
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: or okay, so the.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: Transported dog put to somewhere else exactly. Transference, that transference.
• 43:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. I no, I think Okay, the dog.
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: The therapist obviously is a dog person's and I don't
• 43:14
  Speaker 1: think it'd be a stretch to say the therapist. I
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: don't know if I saw it in here, the therapist
• 43:19
  Speaker 1: has a dog.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, okay, so.
• 43:21
  Speaker 5: When I'm assuming the therapist has a small farm with
• 43:24
  Speaker 5: roughly thirty dogs.
• 43:26
  Speaker 1: So then when when your client or you're in session,
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: says to you, oh, I could never imagine living with
• 43:35
  Speaker 1: a dog in the house.
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it kind of feels like, okay, well I live
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: with a dog in the house.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: It kind of feels a little like a little shot
• 43:44
  Speaker 1: fired across the bout now me as the therapist, I've
• 43:47
  Speaker 1: taken this a little personally, and so I kind of
• 43:49
  Speaker 1: feel like.
• 43:50
  Speaker 3: You know, it's really not that bad living with a
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: dog in the house.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe you know, and and maybe I now have some
• 43:56
  Speaker 1: feelings in here because I feel like this is kind
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: of you're stepping down my turf.
• 44:01
  Speaker 3: And I'm not saying, writer that you did anything wrong.
• 44:03
  Speaker 4: Yeah, no, this is.
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: Still the therapist job. One oh one.
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: Yes, And really, I think for students and interns in
• 44:14
  Speaker 2: colleagues that are listening to the show. What a great
• 44:16
  Speaker 2: teaching story, right, because this will happen.
• 44:19
  Speaker 3: This will happen.
• 44:19
  Speaker 2: I mean, if you're really good at being a therapist,
• 44:22
  Speaker 2: your patients are, they can't pick up a lot about
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: your deeply held beliefs, and so they will step on
• 44:28
  Speaker 2: them all the time because they're not even where they're
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: there because you do a great job concealing them, right,
• 44:33
  Speaker 2: And so like politically, you'll have people get up to like,
• 44:35
  Speaker 2: can you like That's one of the best compliments that
• 44:37
  Speaker 2: that I'll experience, even though it's not a compliment, but
• 44:40
  Speaker 2: it's a moment of like, I know I'm doing this well.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: Is whenever somebody says something thinking I would agree with it,
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: when that is one hundred percent something I do not
• 44:49
  Speaker 2: agree with. I vote against it, I'm mortally against it.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: And we get along so well, and I hide those
• 44:55
  Speaker 2: cards so well, and the therapeutic or coorse are strong
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: that they'll be like, you know what I'm talking about
• 44:59
  Speaker 2: when these idiots do that, right, you probably sick of
• 45:01
  Speaker 2: that too, And I'll go, oh, yeah, man, a lot
• 45:03
  Speaker 2: of people in this world could drive us crazy. Man,
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: But how does that make you feel? You know, like
• 45:07
  Speaker 2: you steer it right.
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: Back to him.
• 45:08
  Speaker 2: Don't tell them that I'm forward or against it. But
• 45:10
  Speaker 2: like this is something therapists have to be good at.
• 45:13
  Speaker 2: I mean, you could get stuck.
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: In the ship and then do this.
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: The therapist could have been in a very similar situation
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: where the therapist was in a romantic relationship with somebody
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: they thought it was going to go really well. Then
• 45:24
  Speaker 1: that person says like, I'm sorry, I just can't move in.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: I'm not a dog person, and yeah, yeah, then so
• 45:32
  Speaker 1: now and this has happened to me, like I've been
• 45:34
  Speaker 1: in this situation where I've had a client explaining to me,
• 45:39
  Speaker 1: almost verbatim, a conversation that I've had in my personal life.
• 45:44
  Speaker 2: Right, oh yeah, I'm feeling this, just not feeling like
• 45:53
  Speaker 2: last night I was fighting with my wife about me
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: playing video games until midnight. And now I'm talking to
• 45:57
  Speaker 2: you and you're saying, I'm so fucking sick of husband
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: playing video games.
• 46:00
  Speaker 3: Still in that and I want to be like, well,
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: i mean, like video.
• 46:03
  Speaker 8: Games like a really nice guy to take out the trash,
• 46:09
  Speaker 8: you could just let him have something, Okay, But you're
• 46:12
  Speaker 8: absolutely right, you have to like come back to center
• 46:15
  Speaker 8: be with them, you know, find their truth.
• 46:18
  Speaker 3: And if this, if you're a therapist, then this has
• 46:20
  Speaker 3: not happened to you. It just means it hasn't happened.
• 46:22
  Speaker 2: Oh it's coming, yeah, in one capacity or the other.
• 46:26
  Speaker 2: So do we bless the writer saying, you know what,
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: I'm going to just go further with my secondary, the
• 46:34
  Speaker 2: one who's been doing grief work with me.
• 46:36
  Speaker 4: That's like it's time for a shift. We've talked about
• 46:38
  Speaker 4: that quite a few times in the last over a
• 46:41
  Speaker 4: year that I've on the show with you, guys. I
• 46:45
  Speaker 4: know I'm still showing up for you, put up with
• 46:47
  Speaker 4: a lot.
• 46:49
  Speaker 3: It's probably because all those blackmail we have, ye who
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: could tell? Could be that drift get in that car?
• 46:57
  Speaker 4: I don't know.
• 46:58
  Speaker 3: Nobody's just keep coming back.
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: But yeah, I just I guess I think that I
• 47:07
  Speaker 4: totally lost my train of thought. You distrust thinking about
• 47:11
  Speaker 4: running over somebody.
• 47:13
  Speaker 3: To transition for a while, yeah.
• 47:14
  Speaker 4: Break Oh Yeah. Sometimes we see someone for a long
• 47:17
  Speaker 4: time and like we can kind of outgrow our therapist
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: or just shift to somebody new, And maybe that's the signal.
• 47:23
  Speaker 4: Maybe the therapist is too comfortable with you, they feel
• 47:26
  Speaker 4: like they're imposing their beliefs on you.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: This is something we don't ever really talk about because
• 47:31
  Speaker 2: I think therapy is usually presented as a light switch.
• 47:35
  Speaker 2: It's it's on or it's off. You're doing it or
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: you're not doing it. But there are I think theraptic
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: advantages to the concept of breaks from the work, yeah,
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: and sometimes breaks from the person. I've had situations because
• 47:48
  Speaker 2: I have kind of like an open door practice where
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: it's sort of like make your own appointment whenever you want.
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: I'm not here to you know, keep you on a
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: calendar or whatever. And one of the things that that
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: will sometimes lend itself to is I might not see
• 47:59
  Speaker 2: somebody for a while, and then they'll come back and
• 48:01
  Speaker 2: I'll be like, hey, it's been X number of months
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: or even a year or more. I want to get
• 48:05
  Speaker 2: myself caught up, how have you been, what's been going on?
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: And through the course of the update, they'll tell me
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: I saw another therapist for a while, and they won't
• 48:12
  Speaker 2: say something like I didn't want to see you any more, Jim,
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: I was upset with you, because in our dynamic, you
• 48:18
  Speaker 2: not showing up for a while doesn't require an explanation
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: because it wasn't expected that you would like you come
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: and go as you please.
• 48:24
  Speaker 3: That's always been the dynamic.
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: So somebody breaks up with me, I don't need to
• 48:28
  Speaker 2: know about it, Like, they don't need to explain that
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: to me.
• 48:30
  Speaker 4: I would never ask they just aren't booking on your skedu.
• 48:32
  Speaker 2: There's not there and that could be anything for me, right,
• 48:34
  Speaker 2: And so like a year later they might come back
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: and be like, yeah, so you know this was going
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: on and I ended up seeing a therapist for several
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: months that was going really good and like okay, and
• 48:41
  Speaker 2: like but in the back of my mind I always
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: catch that and think, Okay, there really might have been
• 48:46
  Speaker 2: good therapeutic shift there. Maybe we had gotten stale, Maybe
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: there was something that I was doing that wasn't working.
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: And so I'll definitely use as a learning opportunity, and
• 48:53
  Speaker 2: I'll go back through my notes and think, like, Okay,
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: I don't want to replicate anything that wasn't working for them.
• 48:57
  Speaker 2: I want to be careful, or I'll ask some good
• 48:59
  Speaker 2: question but non jealous questions, like so what kind of
• 49:02
  Speaker 2: work are you guys doing? You know, I want to
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: make sure that, yeah, I want to make sure that
• 49:06
  Speaker 2: I kind of think about, you know, the progress you're
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: making there as well as we're taking on these new
• 49:09
  Speaker 2: challenges and kind of meat you were at today, like
• 49:12
  Speaker 2: oh yeah, you know we're working on this kind of
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: stuff like great, and so like I.
• 49:14
  Speaker 3: Could your other therapist have a better mustache?
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, which I assume you know, even if
• 49:18
  Speaker 2: it's a check, it's like, of course, you know, looks better.
• 49:21
  Speaker 3: So I think that's totally fine.
• 49:22
  Speaker 2: But we don't talk enough about that being okay, and
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: actually a I mean not quite a technique, but like
• 49:29
  Speaker 2: it's it's not bad. It could be part of the
• 49:31
  Speaker 2: recipe for success. Yes, so that could be what's happening here.
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: But I think the obvious answer is get a dog. Yeah, okay,
• 49:40
  Speaker 2: all right, counterproposal writer gets a Boa constrictor okay, big
• 49:45
  Speaker 2: enough to eat a dog?
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: Yes, And now it's not I'm anti dog.
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: It's actually I'm protective of dogs, your dog in particular,
• 49:55
  Speaker 2: because my boa, well, fuck your dog us, And I
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: don't want that to happen. Yeah, you don't want that
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: to happen, but none of you want. Neither of us
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: feels good abandoning a pet in the Florida Florida ever lates.
• 50:04
  Speaker 3: You know, I don't want to do that.
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: So BoA's gonna live with me, Dog's gonna live with you,
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: separate houses.
• 50:09
  Speaker 4: I have a quick question though, as dog people existing
• 50:12
  Speaker 4: in this room, what like can that exist in her relationship?
• 50:17
  Speaker 4: Can you can a dog person or animal person date
• 50:21
  Speaker 4: a non animal person. How does that?
• 50:22
  Speaker 3: I think it's a bigger deal than people talk. I know.
• 50:24
  Speaker 3: That's why I was like, kind of in that situation.
• 50:28
  Speaker 3: Is Laura a dog person? She's not. I kind of
• 50:31
  Speaker 3: knew she wasn't. She had cats, She's a more of
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: a cat all. She doesn't. She's pro animals. She doesn't.
• 50:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she doesn't not like dogs, Like that's not her.
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: They have dogs growing up, got it. But she's yeah,
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: more of a cat person. But yeah, I mean she
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: she does fine with them.
• 50:51
  Speaker 3: She's not like overly affectionate towards the dogs or anything
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: like that. I feel like this is definitely an issue.
• 50:58
  Speaker 4: Like I do think it's a bigger issue that people
• 51:00
  Speaker 4: talk about.
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: If you're really like it's your child, like you think
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: that way and liked.
• 51:05
  Speaker 1: It is, it is one of those it is difficult
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: to be the dog owner and see that, like the
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: affection is not quite as strong as you would like
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: it to be.
• 51:16
  Speaker 3: Oh that your partner's not affectionate to your dog.
• 51:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 51:23
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, that's totally And I think for me, it's just
• 51:27
  Speaker 1: one of those things where like I when I kind
• 51:29
  Speaker 1: of recognize that, and I feel that I kind of
• 51:31
  Speaker 1: have to like, Okay, well, but that's not the expectation.
• 51:34
  Speaker 1: That's my that's my expectation that I'm putting on another person.
• 51:38
  Speaker 1: The problem isn't with this person, right, The problem is.
• 51:41
  Speaker 3: My expectation that everybody should everyone should love my dogs
• 51:45
  Speaker 3: like I do. They're not my dog. They are indifferent.
• 51:48
  Speaker 3: That's not a problem with Laura. There are other problems
• 51:51
  Speaker 3: with Laura. It's not that it's not one of them.
• 51:54
  Speaker 2: Wasn't must love dogs arom com or some kind of like.
• 51:59
  Speaker 3: Problem.
• 52:00
  Speaker 2: I feel like it's but that was a phrase.
• 52:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I love dogs. I'm definitely the less dog lover
• 52:08
  Speaker 3: in our in our house. Really, you're fucking obsessed with
• 52:12
  Speaker 3: your dog. No. I like our dogs.
• 52:16
  Speaker 2: I like our dogs perfectly fine, like always take care
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: of him if she's got around.
• 52:20
  Speaker 3: But like j was the one who wanted to.
• 52:21
  Speaker 5: Get dogs again because we had a dog before that
• 52:24
  Speaker 5: dog died. We we went with that with no dog
• 52:27
  Speaker 5: for a while. Kind of at my not insistence, but encouragement.
• 52:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 52:33
  Speaker 5: Uh and then she found these two dogs that we
• 52:35
  Speaker 5: have now, and they were a little older already, they.
• 52:38
  Speaker 2: Were five or six years old, and we got them.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Uh so they were adult dogs. Their owner had died.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: They needed they needed a home, and they had the
• 52:48
  Speaker 2: owner to death. That's right, that's right. And uh so
• 52:51
  Speaker 2: we so we took them.
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: I mean it took him a while, but they got
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: the job. That's persistence. You don't need a whale one
• 53:01
  Speaker 3: bite the dreams right there? Doction? Not? Doctions? Are much
• 53:07
  Speaker 3: better off getting eating a person up their pack hunters
• 53:14
  Speaker 3: on trips.
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: You. But no, I've even said, like after these talk,
• 53:17
  Speaker 2: after these two go like, we're.
• 53:20
  Speaker 5: Gonna do no dogs for a while. Yeah, I have
• 53:22
  Speaker 5: kind of laid that down. I don't know how much
• 53:24
  Speaker 5: I'll stick to it. I don't know if I'll stick
• 53:26
  Speaker 5: to that gun or not.
• 53:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but that's that's what i'd like to I don't
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: want to get too far ahead of this because the
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: dogs are happy and healthy and we don't need to
• 53:32
  Speaker 2: plan for their funerals yet. But down the road, you know,
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: if if the unfortunate should ever happened, I really think
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: we get Jacob, a fucking bird that can talk birds.
• 53:43
  Speaker 4: That bird would say.
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm not taking a bird.
• 53:48
  Speaker 4: I'm not taking a bird.
• 53:49
  Speaker 2: I'm not taking a tortoise. I'm not taking any of
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: these things that live one hundred years.
• 53:53
  Speaker 4: A long time, a lot of yeah, something to inherit
• 54:01
  Speaker 4: them to somemer or whatever.
• 54:02
  Speaker 3: When you really everybody put the will.
• 54:04
  Speaker 4: Put them on your will. Yeah wow, But no, I
• 54:06
  Speaker 4: think that's a big deal. Like I even I just
• 54:09
  Speaker 4: remembered this while we were talking about it. I had
• 54:11
  Speaker 4: a friend once when her animals passed, she waited because
• 54:15
  Speaker 4: she was like, I know I'm going to be dating.
• 54:17
  Speaker 4: She was single. She's like, and I don't want to
• 54:19
  Speaker 4: get another I want a cat, but I don't want
• 54:21
  Speaker 4: to get another animal because the person I date might
• 54:24
  Speaker 4: be allergic or like. There's just a lot that goes
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: into it, and it's that big of a deal. I
• 54:29
  Speaker 4: was like, Wow, I wouldn't have thought about that.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: Macause typically live thirty to fifty years. African grades go
• 54:36
  Speaker 3: about eighty. Give me a quote on Boa constructions. Cockatoo's
• 54:40
  Speaker 3: sixty forty to sixty years. Geez, that here's a different
• 54:45
  Speaker 3: kind of a call. Fifty years. It's a long ass time.
• 54:49
  Speaker 1: Jesus Boa construct twenty to thirty years, oh, wow, my god,
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: but can live up to forty years or more in captivity.
• 54:55
  Speaker 4: Wow.
• 54:56
  Speaker 3: And that's on. Harro can live up to one hundred
• 54:59
  Speaker 3: and forty years.
• 55:00
  Speaker 4: Wow, one hundred and forty I'm just gonna say so,
• 55:03
  Speaker 4: like America is like two parrots old like that.
• 55:06
  Speaker 3: That's fucking crazy. That's right. Wow, all right man.
• 55:10
  Speaker 2: So writer, I think that the best answers clearly get
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: the snake. I think that that's that ends the debate.
• 55:15
  Speaker 3: That makes me sad. I don't want to talk about
• 55:17
  Speaker 3: a snake. No one doesn't have to. You're you're making
• 55:20
  Speaker 3: it weird.
• 55:22
  Speaker 4: That she doesn't want to.
• 55:25
  Speaker 3: Snake to hurt the dog. I absolutely.
• 55:27
  Speaker 4: I mean the person like I saw that video of
• 55:29
  Speaker 4: the guy in Florida jump in the pond to find
• 55:31
  Speaker 4: the alligator when it like tried to buy his dog.
• 55:34
  Speaker 4: I was like, Oh my gosh, how is the instinct
• 55:36
  Speaker 4: is that to just like let the dog jump in
• 55:39
  Speaker 4: and save your animal.
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: That's over. I couldn't do it. Dog gone, No, that
• 55:44
  Speaker 3: gator's gone. I'm gonna fuck that gat up. I've never
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: seen the side of you but you're really sweaty right now,
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: like nobody's gonna hurt your dogs. I just want to
• 55:55
  Speaker 3: be like really clear, this is all you know. No, no,
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: don't listen to win it. That's that's fine.
• 56:01
  Speaker 2: Nobody has any notes, nobody has any notes on that.
• 56:04
  Speaker 2: That's going great. But anyway, writer, this is weird. I mean,
• 56:07
  Speaker 2: I'm sorry that it's going on. I like that you
• 56:09
  Speaker 2: still have a good rapport with your boyfriend over this.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: I think that it's fine for you to have boundaries.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: It's fine for you to say, look, I'm not out
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: to get your dog, but I don't like the lifestyle
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: that comes with this. I'm sorry. That's my truth. And
• 56:22
  Speaker 2: that also has consequences. And I can be a big
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: girl and say, okay, I'm willing to size that up.
• 56:27
  Speaker 2: And the discomfort of living you with you at a
• 56:29
  Speaker 2: dog is greater than the discomfort this creates in our
• 56:32
  Speaker 2: relationship to not be able to live together. And I
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: choose to suffer in that way, and like, whatever I
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: get to do that I get to make these choices.
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: I think that's perfectly fine. I think a good therapist
• 56:41
  Speaker 2: ought to present that to you and give you a
• 56:43
  Speaker 2: chance to wrestle with that with a completely sober mind.
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: That way you can make the best choice for yourself.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: I don't like a therapist starting to tell you this
• 56:51
  Speaker 2: is how you ought to feel, your opinions and beliefs
• 56:55
  Speaker 2: are wrong, that that's too far from me.
• 56:58
  Speaker 3: I don't like that.
• 56:59
  Speaker 2: And you know, I think you're well within your rights
• 57:00
  Speaker 2: to tell your therapist. Listen, my friend, you have really,
• 57:04
  Speaker 2: you know, taken a strong position on this that's made
• 57:08
  Speaker 2: me uncomfortable. If I had told you I didn't want
• 57:10
  Speaker 2: to have children and you were trying to lecture me
• 57:13
  Speaker 2: on why I should and being a mother is whatever
• 57:15
  Speaker 2: is the right thing to do, it would be way
• 57:17
  Speaker 2: out of line. And I feel like this is, you know,
• 57:19
  Speaker 2: getting a little out of line here. And I think
• 57:22
  Speaker 2: that's the last that's the hell, Mary, And if she
• 57:24
  Speaker 2: cannot hear that and recalibrate, I think you take a break.
• 57:28
  Speaker 3: Based on that. On the result of that.
• 57:30
  Speaker 4: Conversation, that's yeah, that's a good point.
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: Bring the snake with you and you have it. Yeah,
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: not around Nick, He'll fuck them up. Don't bring that
• 57:38
  Speaker 2: snake around Nicks dogs. That's the wrong fucking house.
• 57:41
  Speaker 3: Not up in here. We're gonna take quick breaks. When
• 57:45
  Speaker 3: we get back, we're to talk about terrible roommates. Why
• 57:48
  Speaker 3: Nick bought that Tampa.
• 57:52
  Speaker 9: Snakes goes in with new Boots, Smitty Scoop, Bason Miller,
• 58:03
  Speaker 9: Test Miller, Violent.
• 58:04
  Speaker 1: T Harris, t Monico, Oscar swandros Anna, Marie and Emma Kine.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: And if you would like to spend us to the show,
• 58:10
  Speaker 1: become a theraproducer matreon dot com slash therapy.
• 58:14
  Speaker 3: Alright, let's let's go on. Moving on question.
• 58:21
  Speaker 1: In the context of acceptance and commitment therapy.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: We got a shout at this wedding. What does the
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: term cognitive diffusion refer to? A the process of challenging
• 58:34
  Speaker 3: and changing irrational beliefs. B the technique of separating thoughts
• 58:39
  Speaker 3: from their literal meaning see the strategy of avoiding negative thoughts,
• 58:45
  Speaker 3: or d the method of deep relaxation to reduce anxiety.
• 58:50
  Speaker 3: Got it? Are you going going first?
• 58:53
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: I'm going first? Baby?
• 58:54
  Speaker 2: God, damn, this is such they're getting flexed on. It's
• 58:57
  Speaker 2: b all right, So he's going with the one that
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: the getting away from negative.
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: Thoughts, the technique of separating thoughts from their literal meaning.
• 59:06
  Speaker 3: It's so answer, I know.
• 59:09
  Speaker 4: I was like that was going to be because and
• 59:11
  Speaker 4: I don't actually know the answer.
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: Reason why I'm losing right now. It's because he'll say,
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, yeah, that sounds really you have
• 59:18
  Speaker 2: to follow it. But I think it was Can I
• 59:22
  Speaker 2: get Can I get a again?
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: The process of is just defeated, changing irrational beliefs. I'll
• 59:31
  Speaker 3: take a but it's it's b. I'll take a. It's
• 59:35
  Speaker 3: bill to one.
• 59:45
  Speaker 4: Jacob was a good test taker, is what I'm hearing.
• 59:48
  Speaker 8: I really was.
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: Can context like, I think diffusion.
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: That's the only one that has two things being diffused
• 59:56
  Speaker 2: from each other, so it's diffusion.
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: Apparently anybody can do this job all right.
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 1: In dialectical behavioral therapy DBT, what is the primary focus
• 1:00:07
  Speaker 1: of the emotion regulation model A Identifying and labeling emotions,
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 1: B reducing vulnerability and emotional mind to emotion mind, C
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 1: increasing positive emotional events or D all of the above.
• 1:00:28
  Speaker 3: You question, I'm pretty sure I got it, but go
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 3: ahead and give it to A.
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: What is the primary focus of the emotion regulation module
• 1:00:42
  Speaker 1: identifying and labeling emotions, reducing vulnerability to emotion mind.
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: I don't know if that's right, emotional mind.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: Increasing positive emotional events or D all of the above.
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 3: You know me, if I have the opportunity, I'll go
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 3: for that. D. Take all give me that D.
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 4: I think A.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think A too. It's d R Jesus Christ.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 2: At this point, I really wish that I could disclose
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: the Naked eye. Somehow cheated on this, because it would
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 2: be a great bit for them if we Honestly, I
• 1:01:31
  Speaker 2: was thinking that, like two questions ago, I was thinking,
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 2: why didn't I give you the.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 3: Last one?
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 2: It should be like every time he defeats a therapist
• 1:01:43
  Speaker 2: and in like their licensing exam, he gets their powers.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 3: I mean, just like it's like Highlander. Yeah, just like
• 1:01:49
  Speaker 3: fucking on your knees, like.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 2: The thunder and lightning in the background, and he just
• 1:01:55
  Speaker 2: holds up the sword.
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 3: I feel like a percentage of your practice.
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 4: At this point, everybody should be voting for Jacob on Vegas,
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 4: is what I'm saying.
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 3: Last one for this round.
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: In the context of rational emotive behavioral therapy R E
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: B T, what does the A B, C D E
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: model stand for?
• 1:02:20
  Speaker 3: Finally, all right, we got this, okay? Is it affect behavior, cognition, dysfunction, emotions,
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 3: affecting event, affecting event, belief, consequences, uh, dispute, disputation effect,
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 3: see anxiety, belief, coping, distraction, emotions, d anger, behavior, cognition, depression, emotions.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: All right, I know it, So give me that question again.
• 1:02:50
  Speaker 2: I'll let take them go first. Oh, you'll let me
• 1:02:52
  Speaker 2: go first on this one. Listen, you've got me lapped.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: All right, But I I know this one. This one's
• 1:02:58
  Speaker 2: this one's a POTT. I can I could put this
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 2: one in R E B T, which is rationally mode
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: of behavioral therapy. What does the A, B, C, D
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 2: E model stand for? Affect behavior, cognition, dysfunction, emotions, affecting events, belief, consequence,
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 2: disputation effect, anxiety, belief, coping, distraction, emotions, anger, behavior, cognition, depression, emotions.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: Between A and B. Mm hm hm hmmm. I don't know.
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 3: I don't know this one. I'll go B.
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 4: I don't know, so neither And I was going to guess.
• 1:03:44
  Speaker 3: Being it's B one that I definitely.
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 4: Psychology coach.
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 3: Hasn't.
• 1:04:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm un Steph Curry of this test.
• 1:04:08
  Speaker 3: He's just throwing them up from half court and they're
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 3: going in. They're all going in. That was that was
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 3: what I was least sure about.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 4: I was like, don't, don't because I'm gonna go through
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 4: like ship.
• 1:04:20
  Speaker 3: God damn, that was wonderful. It's the only one that,
• 1:04:24
  Speaker 3: like the order of the thing, he's really made sense. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
• 1:04:27
  Speaker 3: that's true. You test. I feel like you'd be even
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know.
• 1:04:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know if you'd be less or more angry
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 2: if I were just guessing at these not just not
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 2: actually figuring them out.
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 4: It's like, have you ever played cards against humanity? But
• 1:04:42
  Speaker 4: then do you ever play with like a random we
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 4: call him like Dave or something, and we just put
• 1:04:48
  Speaker 4: a random card. The amount of times that quote Dave's
• 1:04:52
  Speaker 4: card gets pulled is like, yeah, you can't because somebody's
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 4: looking at all the cards being like this one's the
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 4: funniest one, Like what how did that perfect card get
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 4: in there? That is just random? You're like, Tim, Dave
• 1:05:03
  Speaker 4: be me, But yeah, that's that's ja.
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: Jacob is the broken clock, and he's just fucking nail.
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: Broken clock is right. Twice a day, I've been writing
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: how many times today? Nick? You there you go in
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 3: a roll in a road consecutive times? Triple coverage.
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 4: Jim's let you go first, though, jim, let me go first.
• 1:05:24
  Speaker 3: To the last gentleman.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 2: God damn, that is that is considering how many people
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 2: get sucked up by this test.
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: And these are the real questions.
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 4: This is scary just walking.
• 1:05:35
  Speaker 3: In and just shooting him down a test taking thing.
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 5: I was always really like I was good in especially
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 5: in high school, because I didn't do anything. I didn't study,
• 1:05:44
  Speaker 5: I didn't like do the assignment had to get good,
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 5: and so like I was good and just walking in
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 5: and like, give me that test, give me the quiz,
• 1:05:50
  Speaker 5: give me whatever.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm gonna I'm gonna perceive from the writing.
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's gotta be nice to know though that like
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: if you wanted to, you could just pass and just
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 1: be a therapist and never had the desire to make
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 1: a third of the money.
• 1:06:02
  Speaker 3: That this is official. Right after I get the next question, I.
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 2: Just get a tweet jacket, a broadt for the example,
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: you are three questions away from tweet.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 3: I feel the needs for tweed. Oh shit, terrible.
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 2: Roommate, high pod therapy guys and gal, I write to
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 2: you right now in a state of safety. Don't worry,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 2: but extreme discomfort and anxiety. I was just at my
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 2: work and my roommate texted and asked if she could
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 2: get something out of the closet in my room. I said,
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 2: I'll be home soon, and when I arrived, she had
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 2: gone into my room without my consent and shifted some
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 2: things around. For context, I've lived here one year. I
• 1:06:45
  Speaker 2: am a male twenty five. I live in the upstairs,
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 2: and the daughter female thirty five of the house owner
• 1:06:51
  Speaker 2: lives downstairs. She's been nothing short of a nightmare than
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 2: what So I think the daughter's the owner's daughter.
• 1:06:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, so the landlord from a person. That person's
• 1:07:03
  Speaker 3: daughter also is your roommate. Yep, gotcha. And this the
• 1:07:06
  Speaker 3: writer's twenty five.
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 2: The woman he lives with, this thirty five, she's been
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 2: nothing short of a nightmare the entire time. Example saying
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 2: I have to let her know anytime I have a
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 2: guest over, and even if I do let her know,
• 1:07:18
  Speaker 2: being totally rude to me and the guest about it,
• 1:07:21
  Speaker 2: smoking cigarettes right outside of my room every night, and
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 2: I have to have the windows open because there's no
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: central air, walking around naked and thinking it's cute but
• 1:07:31
  Speaker 2: it's actually making me super uncomfortable. The list goes on,
• 1:07:35
  Speaker 2: this is my first year, and you always have to
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 2: be careful when you decide that something you're doing is cute. Yeah,
• 1:07:41
  Speaker 2: you need to you need to ask someone else.
• 1:07:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 2: Always get you're doing something that's cute. Fine, you weigh
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 2: in on it. But I think this is cute. Here's
• 1:07:50
  Speaker 2: why I think it's cute. Go ahead and ask someone
• 1:07:52
  Speaker 2: else's opinion as.
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 3: Well, especially if nudity is involved.
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 4: Yeah, a selfie's during life birth.
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, well, no, that's different. That's really different.
• 1:08:01
  Speaker 4: That's okay, it's all part of the game asking for
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 4: a friend.
• 1:08:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that does I could say how it was relevant.
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 3: The list goes on.
• 1:08:07
  Speaker 2: This is my first year in the new city from home,
• 1:08:10
  Speaker 2: and I've loved it so much, but I've had to
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 2: put up with so much for my roommate. I've stayed
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 2: because the location is perfect for work and the rent
• 1:08:17
  Speaker 2: is cheap. I've been unbelievably accommodating as a roommate, cleaning
• 1:08:20
  Speaker 2: up after myself and being extremely polite despite her awfulness.
• 1:08:24
  Speaker 2: Tonight was the straw that finally broke the camel's back
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 2: because she truly breached my privacy. So I texted back
• 1:08:31
  Speaker 2: and I stood up for myself. She said she's the
• 1:08:33
  Speaker 2: manager of the home so she can do whatever she needs,
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 2: when in reality, her mother is the landlord and my
• 1:08:40
  Speaker 2: roommate is just a washed up thirty five year old
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 2: woman with no job, no friends and never leaves the house.
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 5: And also your your landlord has rules they have to
• 1:08:49
  Speaker 5: follow legally, like they have to give you notice if
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 5: they're going to enter the domicile without you.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 3: There's all that kind of shit.
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 2: I don't my landlord about these issues, and she was
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 2: apologetic and said she'd talk.
• 1:09:00
  Speaker 3: To her daughter.
• 1:09:01
  Speaker 2: But now I'm extremely worried that my roommate is going
• 1:09:04
  Speaker 2: to make my life a living hell because I pushed back.
• 1:09:08
  Speaker 2: I think the obvious advice is to move out, but
• 1:09:11
  Speaker 2: it's hard when the rent and location is so good
• 1:09:14
  Speaker 2: and I don't know where else to go right now,
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 2: assuming which I'm like ninety nine percent sure that she
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 2: will turn into a monster after this act of rebellion
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 2: on my part. How do you guys recommend I deal
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 2: with her if I can't move out soon? As usual,
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 2: cut this one down if you have to. I know
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 2: it's super long. Thank you so much, With love Anonymous. PS,
• 1:09:35
  Speaker 2: thank you guys so much for the show. I've been
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 2: listening since twenty twenty, and I always stay up to
• 1:09:39
  Speaker 2: date on pod therapy as it brings me so much
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 2: peace and joy and so many laughs. Truly, y'all are hilarious.
• 1:09:45
  Speaker 2: Pps Jim, I will write about her terrible attributes.
• 1:09:48
  Speaker 3: In my memoir.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 2: Also horse Seamen just because Ah very good vo him.
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: Can can we congratulate him? He got I was really scared.
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 3: It was really scary. It was a tribute. It was
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: a bit too much emphasis on the second syllable. Yeah,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: that's definitely plus.
• 1:10:15
  Speaker 2: So I do want to explain why I got it,
• 1:10:17
  Speaker 2: And the answer is I was playing video games with
• 1:10:19
  Speaker 2: my daughter today and the word a tribute came on
• 1:10:22
  Speaker 2: the screen and and so I had to read it.
• 1:10:24
  Speaker 3: So like I was like reading all the dialogue of the.
• 1:10:26
  Speaker 2: Characters and stuff out loud, and I got to it
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 2: and I I fucked it up. And my daughter was like, Daddy,
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 2: that's not with that word that word, And I was like, oh,
• 1:10:35
  Speaker 2: I know, I was just reading in a hurry.
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 3: And then I said it right. So like remember the
• 1:10:39
  Speaker 3: other week when Jim's other kid fixed this garage door. Yeah,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 3: I'm mostly a figurehead. I just exist. I'm not really
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: teaching anybody anything. I'm just hearing, Oh my god.
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 2: Dude walking around naked that Okay, yeah, weird.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: So here's the I say, fight fire with fire, get that.
• 1:10:58
  Speaker 2: Out, get that out, hang it out in my apartment.
• 1:11:03
  Speaker 2: Same advice as the last one. Get a anaconda. That's
• 1:11:06
  Speaker 2: the trick, baby, you win this match.
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 4: Have all seen that show on Netflix's Worst Roommate Ever? No,
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 4: that's what I think.
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 3: Good one.
• 1:11:15
  Speaker 4: It reminds me of this poor writers reality. No, it's
• 1:11:20
  Speaker 4: their real stories, okay, like dramatized the dramatized. Yeah, it
• 1:11:26
  Speaker 4: was like or whatever. Yeah, oh my gosh, this post
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 4: poor writer reminds you. I mean, not a specific one,
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 4: but just like it could be on there where you're
• 1:11:35
  Speaker 4: just like stuck because that's where you live and it's affordable,
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 4: and especially in today's you know, cost of living crisis,
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 4: it's tough.
• 1:11:44
  Speaker 3: So here's the bright side to this.
• 1:11:46
  Speaker 4: Although she's naked.
• 1:11:51
  Speaker 10: Low render and nudity, it's kind of however nudity though
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 10: however lost your roommate is it does seem that your
• 1:12:01
  Speaker 10: landlord certainly knows right from wrong or this.
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 5: Is not the first time that that landlord has had
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 5: to apologize for their daughter.
• 1:12:09
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, and I think here's the thing.
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 4: That's why it's cheap.
• 1:12:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:12:14
  Speaker 1: The thing, the thing that the daughter doesn't understand is
• 1:12:17
  Speaker 1: that you have rights as a renter. And I'm guessing
• 1:12:20
  Speaker 1: that the mom does understand that. I think that's the
• 1:12:24
  Speaker 1: big difference between those two, because.
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 3: The mom knows that you can serve fucking papers over. Yeah.
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 5: And like if the daughter is deputizing herself to be
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 5: the property manager or something like that, and like if
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 5: there's a single document anywhere that you've ever received that
• 1:12:44
  Speaker 5: says that on there, then.
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: The lawsuit is just slipped up clean Salem. Yeah, that's
• 1:12:51
  Speaker 3: an easy one. Yeah.
• 1:12:53
  Speaker 4: Can you put like a lock on your bedroom door?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 4: Is that a thing?
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 3: I'll bet you this lady would just rip it off.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 3: You can't do that.
• 1:13:00
  Speaker 4: There's a contract. I mean, I mean I would, I guess,
• 1:13:04
  Speaker 4: I mean, I guess I don't know if you.
• 1:13:05
  Speaker 2: I mean, you can certainly ask the landlord for like
• 1:13:09
  Speaker 2: a locking doorknob or something like that, or like even
• 1:13:12
  Speaker 2: even volunteer to say, like, look, I'll go to home depot,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 2: I'll buy the doorknob.
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 3: I'll put it in landlord to copy the key.
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 5: Absolutely, because that's absolutely that's not Yes, I think that's
• 1:13:25
  Speaker 5: a reasonable thing to ask. My honest answer on this,
• 1:13:29
  Speaker 5: and it's going to sound like I'm being me, but
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 5: my real answer on this is go to the fucking mattresses,
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 5: like fight this shiite, Like.
• 1:13:38
  Speaker 4: What do you mean?
• 1:13:39
  Speaker 5: Every single time, every single time she does something that
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 5: is adverse to the conditions of the lease, document it,
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 5: video if you can, photograph it, if you can, and
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 5: every single time email it so that it will be
• 1:13:55
  Speaker 5: time stamped and recorded to the landlord and just say, hey,
• 1:13:59
  Speaker 5: this is still going on. Yeah, every every time, document
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 5: the shit out of it.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 4: And be super nice to the landlord. Like absolutely, you know.
• 1:14:08
  Speaker 5: You could be super nice to the roommate while while
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 5: you're doing all of it, you could be nice to everybody.
• 1:14:12
  Speaker 5: In fact, I recommend it, uh, like, be you know, professional, courteous,
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 5: all of these things.
• 1:14:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so I think we all agree standing up in
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 2: this scenario applaud you know, yes, we like that. But
• 1:14:24
  Speaker 2: now we're worried about the clapback. So writers saying, hey,
• 1:14:27
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling really anxious that this roommate's going to make
• 1:14:30
  Speaker 2: my life a living hell because she's about to get
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 2: a stern talking to for mommy. And now I'm probably
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: about to catch shit, and this lady's already like scaring
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 2: away my guests booking for my room.
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 3: Is your life already a living hell? I mean, never
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 3: underestimate a woman's ability to make tell.
• 1:14:45
  Speaker 4: You watch that show, Nick, and you will see what
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 4: a living hell looks like. I feel for this writer.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 4: I'm not trying to say move out. I think definitely
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 4: what Jacob said, and you know, documenting things, recording what
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 4: you can within your legal bounds. Set up a little
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 4: a little camera in your room when you're.
• 1:15:03
  Speaker 3: Gone, like, yeah, that's fair.
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 4: Something the kind of little nanny.
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: Cam or something that's actually a really good idea, especially
• 1:15:10
  Speaker 1: if the landlord will not allow you a lock put
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: in a camera.
• 1:15:15
  Speaker 4: I would, yeah, if that's something, yeah, I would do that. Gosh.
• 1:15:21
  Speaker 4: But it is scary to look at how little rights
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 4: you end up having sometimes when you're stuck in these situations.
• 1:15:28
  Speaker 2: Even if you're on the right side of these even
• 1:15:29
  Speaker 2: if you're on the right, a lot of times they
• 1:15:31
  Speaker 2: can just throw you out over some bullshit and you're
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 2: not going to go lawyer up. You're already you know,
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 2: financially restricted, you needed a break on the rent, and
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 2: it is.
• 1:15:38
  Speaker 4: The landlord's daughter.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that is such a mess.
• 1:15:42
  Speaker 2: And like obviously they're going to break or bend rules
• 1:15:44
  Speaker 2: because it's family. Like they're not going to around, They're
• 1:15:46
  Speaker 2: going to protect themselves.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 1: Here's the other way. Here's the other thing that I
• 1:15:50
  Speaker 1: think you can do is make sure that you are
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 1: a good tenant in every other sense because.
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 4: Mind your own ps and q's.
• 1:15:58
  Speaker 1: Yes, if you if your rent is always on time, yeah,
• 1:16:02
  Speaker 1: that means a lot, you know, because the landlord is
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: not going to come to you know, go to bat
• 1:16:09
  Speaker 1: for you. Yeah, if you're three months behind on rent
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: right now, of course not. That's like I mean, I've
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 1: been renting for a long time now, and that has
• 1:16:18
  Speaker 1: always been my thing. Is Yeah, on the day that
• 1:16:21
  Speaker 1: rent is due, my landlord or the property management company
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 1: has never gone past seven point thirty in the morning
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 1: before they have their their money. Yeah, on the day,
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 1: Like it's never late. When the landlord's daughter is naked
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: in your house, what do you do that she is? Yeah,
• 1:16:38
  Speaker 1: I mean, but you know, and smoking or not smoking.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 1: I'm not sure, you know, because every I don't want
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 1: to assume.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 4: They're every landlord.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't. I don't want to.
• 1:16:46
  Speaker 2: I don't want to contribute to that, you know, like
• 1:16:48
  Speaker 2: what we're a high class show, you know, like we're
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 2: better than that.
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 3: But uh yeah, I mean for you, like, how do
• 1:16:53
  Speaker 3: you deal with that nudity? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, I kind
• 1:16:56
  Speaker 3: of like Jacob's idea.
• 1:16:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, yeah, it's like fight fight fire with Dick.
• 1:17:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah?
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 4: Is that the hop episode title?
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 2: I set out to go to the restroom. Did anybody
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: say anything about cameras? Yes, you say cameras in the bedroom?
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 3: Okay, good?
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I got a little nanny cam so they can't.
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 5: See nanny Camna just get a ring camera, get like
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 5: a like a stand.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 4: Up ring camera to know I have it in there?
• 1:17:23
  Speaker 3: Why not it's in your room? You know?
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 4: I think that because I want I don't want her
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 4: to be like, well, I don't know. I guess you
• 1:17:28
  Speaker 4: wouldn't go in there then, But I don't want her
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 4: to disconnect it or mess with it. I want to
• 1:17:31
  Speaker 4: know how often you're in my room, Like, I mean, you.
• 1:17:34
  Speaker 2: Can get the ones that run on batteries, and the
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 2: ones that run on batteries it's a rechargeable battery, uh,
• 1:17:39
  Speaker 2: and that that'll last you like a couple of weeks.
• 1:17:41
  Speaker 2: They know, they last a long time, the ones that
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: are on batteries and you can set them to motion
• 1:17:46
  Speaker 2: sensitive and otherwise they're not they're not sucking any energy outs.
• 1:17:49
  Speaker 3: They're they're very good.
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: And they can also just do snaps like they don't
• 1:17:51
  Speaker 2: necessarily have to be a running camera or whatever. Right,
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: that's pretty cool too, So like you'll take a snap
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 2: like every two seconds.
• 1:17:56
  Speaker 3: You can literally just like you could.
• 1:17:58
  Speaker 2: Do a gad jillion of that show, you know what. Yeah,
• 1:18:00
  Speaker 2: and you see where they're at in the road. Right,
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 2: it's pretty easy. I mean, yeah, I would, just I
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: would absolute unless you have something in your least prohibiting that, right,
• 1:18:07
  Speaker 2: Like I can't imagine not allowed to photograph my naked
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 2: thirty five year old daughter in your room.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 3: But it's like you're allowed to put shit in your room.
• 1:18:14
  Speaker 3: I think you can.
• 1:18:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the nudity thing really bothers. That's yeah, like aggressive,
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 2: just switch the rolls. Twenty five year old female tenant,
• 1:18:24
  Speaker 2: thirty five year old son of the landlord walk.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 3: Would already be involved shots. Yeah yeah, there's.
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 2: Just no way we would be thought strongly condemning it.
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, the four of them, you thought, yeah,
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: we would, we would already have just screamed our heads
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 2: off about this. That's absolutely true. Yeah we are sexist,
• 1:18:43
  Speaker 2: yeah in it. Yeah, that's that's true. I do want
• 1:18:49
  Speaker 2: to take a going no, no, no, I think you're
• 1:18:51
  Speaker 2: actually are right.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 3: I don't.
• 1:18:53
  Speaker 2: I do want to take a bit for the writer,
• 1:18:55
  Speaker 2: because I think we're giving a lot of different advice
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 2: about how to defend yourself, practical solution and thinking, you know,
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 2: on things that we're not experts on, you know, which
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 2: is roommate law and.
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: All that ship.
• 1:19:05
  Speaker 2: But like in a reality where this uh manager roommate
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 2: lady is now going to be a pain in your ass,
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 2: in a world where you can't remedy this legally, you
• 1:19:16
  Speaker 2: can't buffalo bill this thing and stand up for yourself
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 2: and get any you know, leverage on this, in a
• 1:19:20
  Speaker 2: world where you must choose how you suffer, and that
• 1:19:23
  Speaker 2: choice is suffer here with low rents in a way
• 1:19:26
  Speaker 2: that works for my life and try to get through
• 1:19:28
  Speaker 2: it the best I can, or suffer alternatively with a
• 1:19:31
  Speaker 2: higher rent somewhere where I'm not going to be harassed
• 1:19:33
  Speaker 2: like this. I want to therapeutically step in and try
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 2: to coach on that, because if you stay in this house.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 2: Then I think we have to use different skills because
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 2: trying to buffalo build this chick and accu.
• 1:19:50
  Speaker 3: Buffalo Bill. It's where you take her skin off yourself
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 3: in the basement.
• 1:19:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, what's unclear of what he's saying now, put
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 2: the lotion in the basket.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: Not Buffalo Bill was a cowboy.
• 1:20:03
  Speaker 2: Also in the wild West. Also the bad guy in
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 2: Silence of the Lambs. What the guy that says put
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 2: the lotion on his buffalo puts.
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: The lotion on his skin or else it gets the
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 3: hose again? Who's the cowboy? A cowboy?
• 1:20:19
  Speaker 2: Like you don't you've never heard the phrase like buffalo Bill,
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 2: Like it's a cowboy I have, I have, but like
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 2: out there another cowboy that's not buffalo Buffalo Bill is
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 2: also like a frontiersman cowboy type person.
• 1:20:34
  Speaker 3: Okay that I'm I just want to be clear. I
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 3: mean that one.
• 1:20:37
  Speaker 2: I mean clear about that early slinging because I'm assuming
• 1:20:41
  Speaker 2: you mean taking off her skin all.
• 1:20:44
  Speaker 4: Right, different show.
• 1:20:46
  Speaker 2: So yeah, to be clear, that's why he wanted to
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: put the lotion on her skin. Get the hose again,
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: because you wanted the skin to be nice and supple.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 2: So okay, supple skin nice.
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 3: Moist and supper.
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm glad you pulled me out so that I
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 2: could go and clarify that because that was important. So writer,
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 2: it might not be in your best interest to stand
• 1:21:16
  Speaker 2: up to this person if it's going to escalate them,
• 1:21:18
  Speaker 2: and look is therapist. This happens a lot where we've
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 2: been in situations where a person is just irrational, highly emotional,
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 2: highly volatile. They're in the wrong, but just telling them
• 1:21:28
  Speaker 2: they're in the wrong is not going to make it better, right,
• 1:21:30
  Speaker 2: And so we have to use these de escalation skills
• 1:21:33
  Speaker 2: so that we can have some kind of calm. I mean,
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 2: when Nick and I ran a halfway house for people
• 1:21:37
  Speaker 2: that had, you know, chronic addiction issues and severe mental illness,
• 1:21:41
  Speaker 2: more than once we found ourselves in situations where they
• 1:21:44
  Speaker 2: were a tenant inside of our program, we were providing housing,
• 1:21:47
  Speaker 2: there were specific legal rights they had in specific policies
• 1:21:50
  Speaker 2: they were violating, and yeah, we could get on the
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 2: right side of the letter of the law and lecture
• 1:21:54
  Speaker 2: them and talk about, you know, how we had the
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 2: high ground, but they're also just freaking the fuck out
• 1:21:59
  Speaker 2: and and sometimes we couldn't throw them out, but they're
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 2: going to make our lives a living hell, and so
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 2: we did have to learn to approach them with those
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 2: skills of saying, Okay, how do I make you a
• 1:22:08
  Speaker 2: friend rather than an enemy, how do I find some
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 2: amount of common ground? How do I try to nudge
• 1:22:14
  Speaker 2: you where I can, and how do I accept where
• 1:22:17
  Speaker 2: I probably can't and squeak out enough small victories that
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 2: this is tolerable. So that I mean, because that's kind
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 2: of the way you almost have to look at it.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 2: Writers like you're there for a reason. You're there for
• 1:22:26
  Speaker 2: a I think from your letter I gathered like a
• 1:22:28
  Speaker 2: limited amount of time. It's a place where you can
• 1:22:31
  Speaker 2: go to your job. It doesn't sound like you're planning
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 2: on retiring in this house. It's like a place to
• 1:22:35
  Speaker 2: save up some money and move forward with your life.
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 2: So I mean, if you can sit down and kind
• 1:22:40
  Speaker 2: of add up those goals for yourself, make it clear
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 2: what your why is, and then I would recommend looking
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 2: up some of the skills about de escalation, which I
• 1:22:49
  Speaker 2: think we have in the Patreon If you get into
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 2: patreon dot com slash therapy, the very first post inside
• 1:22:54
  Speaker 2: of there is just the index to the library, and
• 1:22:57
  Speaker 2: so it's every topic we've ever covered with links directly
• 1:23:01
  Speaker 2: to that audio and a lot of our stuff. When
• 1:23:03
  Speaker 2: we publish on Patreon, it goes directly to whatever podcast
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 2: app people are using. But if you go to the
• 1:23:10
  Speaker 2: actual post on the website at patreon dot com slash therapy,
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 2: if we're talking about therapy skills, we're often posting actual
• 1:23:17
  Speaker 2: worksheets and skills that we use in therapy. And I'm
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 2: pretty sure somewhere in the library is something about de
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 2: escalation skills in relationship conflict. And that's where I'd kind
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: of want to bring your attention because I feel like
• 1:23:30
  Speaker 2: we can give you a lot of advice about how
• 1:23:32
  Speaker 2: to stand up to this person, but at the end
• 1:23:34
  Speaker 2: of the day, that may not be an option for you,
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 2: and it may have to come down to how do
• 1:23:37
  Speaker 2: I keep the peace that I can live here cheap
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 2: and move forward with my life.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Well, I mean, let's be fair.
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 1: Would we give that same advice if the roles were
• 1:23:47
  Speaker 1: reversed and it was it was a thirty five year
• 1:23:49
  Speaker 1: old man, we'd be like, yeah, walking around naked.
• 1:23:51
  Speaker 3: Twenty five year old girl, We'll get the fuck out
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: of there. Yeah.
• 1:23:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not even talking about how to keep this
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 2: guy happy. So he doesn't fucking smoke.
• 1:23:57
  Speaker 3: Near your room. Yeah, God, that's so fucking weird, isn't it.
• 1:24:00
  Speaker 3: If it's a dude, you did you feel how quickly
• 1:24:02
  Speaker 3: our stomachs turn over, like I can get out of
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 3: that house. Girl.
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 2: It's crazy. He's smoking in front of your room. He's
• 1:24:07
  Speaker 2: like threatening you, Like this isn't okay.
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, this is not going in your room and ship like,
• 1:24:12
  Speaker 3: oh my god. And that's why I kind of feel like,
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 3: I mean, yeah, god, I am.
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 1: I'm not a legal expert, like I mean, if you
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: were to call the police, I don't know if there's
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 1: anything walking around naked in your own home.
• 1:24:27
  Speaker 4: So sure, I mean, but you're in a common space.
• 1:24:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 2: I feel like the police would come and tell you, like,
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 2: settle the fuck down, figure this ship out.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 1: Well probably unless it was a thirty five year old man.
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 3: His teeth would be on the pavement. Yeah, the drag
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 3: him out by his air. You think it's cool, buddy, Yeah,
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 3: you think it's your big man? Huh. Jesus, it's amazing
• 1:24:52
  Speaker 3: how this is different.
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 4: I don't hate that idea though, of what I mean,
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 4: problem is problem.
• 1:24:59
  Speaker 3: Which I did dude, hate specifically.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 4: I don't hate the idea of like calling the cops.
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 4: Basically if they really are walking around naked, it's like
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 4: that that in some ways is like exposure, right, Like
• 1:25:14
  Speaker 4: if somebody does that to you outside of an enclosed space,
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 4: even they do an inside, like if you're out a club,
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 4: you can't you're in a private space, but you can't
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 4: just like take your top off or whatever, like or
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 4: your pants if you're whoever.
• 1:25:26
  Speaker 5: I mean, yeah, it depends, It depends on a lot
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 5: of For that, you should actually for a lot of this,
• 1:25:32
  Speaker 5: you should probably call an attorney.
• 1:25:34
  Speaker 4: That's that's great advice.
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 3: Actually we can do this. Let's keep going.
• 1:25:44
  Speaker 2: About this person's budget.
• 1:25:48
  Speaker 4: That's a great point. Jacob, Yeah, I like that best
• 1:25:50
  Speaker 4: because then it's like if I call the cops, is
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 4: not even a thing like should I be what's the law?
• 1:25:56
  Speaker 2: I mean, even if you even if you contact an
• 1:25:58
  Speaker 2: attorney and set up say like a meeting where you're
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 2: gonna pay for like four hours of legal.
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 4: Attorneys will just give you fifteen twenty minutes.
• 1:26:06
  Speaker 3: We get enough for free. Yeah, but like you know,
• 1:26:08
  Speaker 3: even if you have to pay for a few.
• 1:26:10
  Speaker 2: Hours just to kind of get peace of mind and
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 2: figure out kind of where you are legally probably worth.
• 1:26:17
  Speaker 5: It, you know, if it isn't costing you a couple
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 5: of hundred bucks. I understand that that can put a
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 5: squeeze on you financially for a month or so. But
• 1:26:24
  Speaker 5: you know, if you're able to swing, if you're able
• 1:26:26
  Speaker 5: to figure out a way to do that, you know,
• 1:26:29
  Speaker 5: obviously without decreasing your Patreon sponsorship of this show.
• 1:26:32
  Speaker 3: Don't work around with Patreon, Yeah, of course. I mean,
• 1:26:35
  Speaker 3: if anything, you should increase it based.
• 1:26:37
  Speaker 2: On this, we'll put it in the Patreon Legal Defense Fund, yeah,
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 2: which is still just Jacob getting.
• 1:26:44
  Speaker 5: But yeah, I would definitely say go find yourself a
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 5: lawyer and at least sit down and have a conversation
• 1:26:49
  Speaker 5: with that lawyer and figure out kind of what your
• 1:26:52
  Speaker 5: best strategies are legally, and if they are if they
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 5: specialize in real estate law or anything like that. Intenant
• 1:26:59
  Speaker 5: law tenant, yeah, because I mean there are a lot
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 5: of there are a lot of laws to protect tenants.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 5: And I don't know anything about like common space. I
• 1:27:07
  Speaker 5: don't know much about anything, but I really don't know
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 5: anything about like common spaces and shared apartments with you know,
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 5: and presumably they're on different leases, and so I mean,
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 5: does that make it two different homes? Like, are the
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 5: two different bedrooms two different homes because they're two different
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 5: I don't fucking know. I don't know any but I
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 5: sure have questions about it. Yeah, that I bet a tenant,
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 5: an attorney specializing a intendant law could answer.
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 3: I think you open up a Twitch stream.
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 2: I think you just walk around with your phone always
• 1:27:34
  Speaker 2: streaming to Twitch when you're in your house.
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 5: Well, then you're just gonna get banned from Twitch. Oh
• 1:27:38
  Speaker 5: is nudity not a lot duy on Twitch?
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 3: All right? So I have a different idea.
• 1:27:42
  Speaker 4: Now, Okay, it's like Jimmy's a takedown his account.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like starting now, Like, do you work for them? Anyway? Writer?
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 3: Good luck with this? Good luck?
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 2: I As we wrap up the show, when reminder you
• 1:27:56
  Speaker 2: can set up at patreon dot com slash Therapy and
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 2: get the extended show a free a day earlier, as
• 1:28:01
  Speaker 2: well as enjoy our live chat, discord community and our
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 2: weekly deep dives, interview, skill shares, research roundups, and rants.
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 2: And this Monday, Nick has another interview coming out as
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 2: he does his Better Know a therap Producer series Who's
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 2: coming into the studio with you this time picket.
• 1:28:21
  Speaker 3: Yes, yes, yet you guys want to hear the order? No,
• 1:28:24
  Speaker 3: don't give them all the way up front.
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 10: Make them Let's see, that's pretty cool man, embarrassment of bridges.
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 3: Let's see. I've got right now in the bank. I've
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 3: got after picket one, two, three, four, five, six.
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 4: Oh.
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 2: That feels good. It feels really good, sumple. I've been
• 1:28:41
  Speaker 2: up six before and I remember being like, my entire
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 2: quarter is handled.
• 1:28:46
  Speaker 3: I'm good almost through the end of the year.
• 1:28:48
  Speaker 1: I got I got two more to go.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 3: Good for you, Bud, you deserve that. That's awesome.
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 2: Uh, and thank you for all the people putting up
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 2: with Nick so that this is possible us.
• 1:28:58
  Speaker 1: Been a blast, is I'll tell you what. I've had
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 1: so much fun doing this, and it's it's really cool
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 1: to get to like meet all of these people and
• 1:29:08
  Speaker 1: just have conversations with them.
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 3: That's cool.
• 1:29:11
  Speaker 1: I think I've done eight nine of these. Wow, and
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 1: only one of them was an asshole?
• 1:29:16
  Speaker 3: Okay one, Yeah, that's fair. I'll let them figure out
• 1:29:19
  Speaker 3: who it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Smart, they know,
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 3: they know who they are. They got they got a guess. Yeah,
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 3: you know who you were.
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 2: So we also want to thank our patreons who support
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 2: the show at patreon dot com slash Therapy. We've got
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 2: some new therapy pals who's joining the part of your nick.
• 1:29:34
  Speaker 1: We got Tory Carterner Welcome to the show. Welcome Toy
• 1:29:38
  Speaker 1: and Galen Diggs.
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: I like it nice to have you with us, And
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 2: we'd like to think the benevolent, revered, generous and flagrantly
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 2: pro therapy diehards who love you all so much they
• 1:29:49
  Speaker 2: give till it hurts that they're partners Dirty Bee and
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 2: Picket pickt and especially when I think our boss is
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 2: the mysterious and shrouded Illuminati. Members of our fan club
• 1:29:58
  Speaker 2: that their producers thank you. Jake Myra, Robert Brownie, Junior, Mint,
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• 1:30:38
  Speaker 1: for supporting m That's all.
• 1:30:39
  Speaker 3: That's all the time we got for this week's session.
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 2: I want to think our Landlord's Matt Madden, Lee's ice
• 1:30:42
  Speaker 2: Cream Social Podcast. And thanks to those of you contributed
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 2: to our show today, we really appreciate it. Remember, pop
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 2: therapy isn't something to keep all to yourself. Share the
• 1:30:53
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• 1:31:00
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• 1:31:05
  Speaker 3: Do you want to submit a question to the show,
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 3: I asked anonymously at pod therapy dot net or email
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 3: us at pod therapy guys at email dot com. I'm
• 1:31:12
  Speaker 3: Nick Sdanderman.
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 4: I'm Witney.
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 3: Thanks so we'll see your appointment next week.
• 1:31:17
  Speaker 4: Where's all the names at the bottom of the last week?
• 1:31:22
  Speaker 3: Well? Fuck, it is like