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Unlocking Elite Performance: Insights from Mental Performance Coach Jamie Edwards · Business Roundtable

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: All right, everybody, welcome back to the Business round Table Podcast.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: I have another amazing guest. I'm super excited to have
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: Jamie Edwards. He's all the way from the UK. He's
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: going to be on here, so we're in completely different
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: time zone. So I'm really appreciative of Jamie getting on
• 0:14
  Speaker 1: here tonight. I want to give you guys a little
• 0:16
  Speaker 1: bit of background on Jamie before we jump in, and
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: I'm going to let him talk more about himself. But
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: for those of you com into the podcast for the
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: first time the Business round Table Podcast, my name David
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  Speaker 1: Carr of Seward Your Business. I help business owners and
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  Speaker 1: their teams accomplish great things collaborating together. And my focus
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: is organizational health, which Jamie has a lot of experience
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  Speaker 1: in and helping organizations and individuals perform at a very
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  Speaker 1: very high level. And so his accolades are long and lengthy.
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  Speaker 1: But I just want to highlight a little bit about
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  Speaker 1: Jamie because when I met Jamie, I was just really
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  Speaker 1: amazed at what he's been able to accomplish across the world,
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  Speaker 1: really internationally and in the individuals, particularly in the sports
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: world that he has worked with. And for those of
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: you that are more familiar with the sports out of
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  Speaker 1: the UK. You'll you'll know, uh, but you know from
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: from rugby to soccer or we caught soccer in the
• 1:11
  Speaker 1: United States, but football to cricket, uh, to tennis players
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  Speaker 1: and great amazing and venues such as the All England
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  Speaker 1: Lawn Tennis Club at Wimbledon name a few. I'm just
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  Speaker 1: super excited to have Jamie here as we're going to
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  Speaker 1: talk about his work in a mindset and understanding and
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  Speaker 1: how do we get unlocked and have really elite performance.
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: So there's so much more I can say, but I
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: want to Jamie to introduce himself a little bit. Welcome
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Jamie to the podcast. So grateful to have you here.
• 1:44
  Speaker 1: Thanks for joining us.
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: No, thank you, thank you, and you know I've been
• 1:49
  Speaker 2: looking forward to to catching up with you. So yes,
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  Speaker 2: it's great. I'm pleased to be here and I'm more
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: so very pleased to uh to meet your your audience.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Also, absolutely, We've We've been covering a lot of great
• 2:05
  Speaker 1: topics over the episodes. It's actually hard to believe we're
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: coming up on a year since we started the Business
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: Roundtable podcast and just the guests that have been coming on,
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: like you Jamie. And it's been fun having international guests.
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: I just recorded one with Nicole reyaz an Ai out
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  Speaker 1: of Mexico and we're so we're getting a lot of
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  Speaker 1: international voices on the podcast as well, which is super exciting.
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  Speaker 1: But one of the things that really drew me to
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: you as we were talking and to hear about how
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: you have been able to help others unlock their performance.
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  Speaker 1: These are people that are high level perform I mean
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  Speaker 1: really at the top of their game in many in
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  Speaker 1: many cases quite literally in professional sports and the business world.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: And so you know, hearing how you have been able
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  Speaker 1: to unlock, if you will, the mental performance, how to
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  Speaker 1: get people to really expand multiply their effect their influence,
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  Speaker 1: especially when they've achieved a certain level of of notoriety
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: and they've achieved a success in their career. And so
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  Speaker 1: for for those of you that again they're just coming
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: on and knowing getting to know you, Jamie, can you
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: just share a little bit about your journey of what
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: got you in this place, Jamie, and and how and
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  Speaker 1: why you're starting to you know, reach these individuals and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: helping them your background.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, well, the journey is long, as it is for
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  Speaker 2: most people. David, And you know, I was about to say,
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  Speaker 2: you know, I could talk for five days without coming
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  Speaker 2: up for air. So you know, it's it's it's it's
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  Speaker 2: one of those you know, it's which part of the
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: journey do I do I start? But you know, I'll
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: give you the drive through version and and we'll will
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  Speaker 2: will ziggin z out from there. But you know, my
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  Speaker 2: my passion comes from helping people go to a different level.
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  Speaker 2: I you know, I'm a former basketball player in another
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  Speaker 2: life and the context of you know, me speaking to
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: you in the US. You know, as a young man
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  Speaker 2: in Manchester, I had a mentor who was arguably the
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  Speaker 2: best American to come to the UK. And he was
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  Speaker 2: a small guy like myself. His name was Alton Bird.
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  Speaker 2: He's currently a VP of I think that the Brooklyn
• 4:18
  Speaker 2: Nets organization now. But he you know, he came from
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  Speaker 2: In fact, I'll tell you the backstory to him. He
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  Speaker 2: graduated from Columbia and got drafted in seventy nine by
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  Speaker 2: the Celtics and he was five foot nine at a
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  Speaker 2: time when they just drafted Larry Bird. Okay, so he's
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  Speaker 2: a five foot nine point guard. He wins the James
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  Speaker 2: Name Smith Award for the best player in the country
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  Speaker 2: under six feet it comes to London, comes to London
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  Speaker 2: to work in the city, so not to play basketball,
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  Speaker 2: and he finds out that there's a basketball team in
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  Speaker 2: the city and so he then combines playing basketball and working.
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  Speaker 2: He was, you know, he was that good and eventually
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  Speaker 2: ended up in Scotland and then at in Manchester for
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  Speaker 2: a team called Manchester United, and Manchester United, as you know,
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  Speaker 2: the soccer club used to own a basketball team and
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  Speaker 2: so I'm from Manchester. I used to have a poster
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  Speaker 2: of him on my bedroom wall and he was like
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  Speaker 2: this guy that you know, I idolized, and he he was,
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  Speaker 2: you know, he was small like me. And I always
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  Speaker 2: said to people, though, you know, I'm six foot five,
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  Speaker 2: but really I just turned the numbers around. So that
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  Speaker 2: was my you know, that was my first introduction to
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  Speaker 2: mental training, was that ability to shift perspective. So I
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  Speaker 2: he taught me a lot of my mental skills. I'm
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  Speaker 2: you know, I'm very blessed that I got to to
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  Speaker 2: be mentored by one of the best to come to
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  Speaker 2: this country. So that's where it started. That's where it started,
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  Speaker 2: and I've you know, I've just been on this journey
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  Speaker 2: and my passion is to help people think differently. And
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  Speaker 2: initially that was in sports. My heritage was sports. But
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  Speaker 2: you know, I think I wasn't put here just to
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  Speaker 2: help elite, elite athletes. And actually I don't work with them.
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  Speaker 2: I'm getting ahead of myself here now, but I don't
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  Speaker 2: work with them because they are elite sportsmen. It's the
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  Speaker 2: sports that brings us together. But there's another reason of
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  Speaker 2: why our paths of cross. So they all say to me, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: but I want you know, it's it's my it's my sports,
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  Speaker 2: my football or soccer in your case, or it's it's
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  Speaker 2: my tennis and and and that's it's my interest. I'm
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  Speaker 2: very interested in them being the best they can be.
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  Speaker 2: But my the wider interest is the people that they
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  Speaker 2: impact in their life. So I so my journey, My
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  Speaker 2: journey was I was a former international. I was a
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  Speaker 2: former international myself, and I played up the road from
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  Speaker 2: in California in San Francisco. I went to high school
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  Speaker 2: in San Francisco and led the team to the state
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  Speaker 2: championship and you know it was we lost by two,
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  Speaker 2: but you know it was one of those where you know,
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  Speaker 2: my sporting background. I remember saying to two players. I said,
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  Speaker 2: next year, we're going to play in this game. We
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: were watching the state final at Oakland Coliseum, and the
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  Speaker 2: problem was David, I said we're going to play in
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  Speaker 2: the final. I didn't say we're going to win. So
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  Speaker 2: a very small shift, a very small shift, but has
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  Speaker 2: a massive impact on your outcomes, you know, And those
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  Speaker 2: were the early days of me really understanding of how
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  Speaker 2: how my mind was going to impact performance.
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  Speaker 1: Wow, that is uh. I love that story, especially, like
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  Speaker 1: you said, play versus winning such a small thing, but
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  Speaker 1: what a massive impact when we're we're we're thinking about
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  Speaker 1: that in our mindset, So that that is amazing. I
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  Speaker 1: really feel like, you know, and and sometimes that's all
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  Speaker 1: it takes. And I don't know all it takes, but
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  Speaker 1: when you say that, Jamie, it's like kind of unlocking somebody.
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  Speaker 1: Where as soon as that you can pull that away.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm gonna love to dig deeper in this. But
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  Speaker 1: what I envision is kind of like opens up a
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  Speaker 1: space for this this dynamic to occur that you didn't
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  Speaker 1: have because it was like it was a blockage, right,
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  Speaker 1: And it's like, okay, if you.
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  Speaker 2: If you imagine you know, three three three juniors watching
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  Speaker 2: the state championship game, and I'm saying to the two
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  Speaker 2: of them, next year, we will play in that game.
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  Speaker 2: And by the way, there was no reason why we
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  Speaker 2: would play in that game because we you know, we
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  Speaker 2: were a Division three high school, but we played Division one.
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  Speaker 2: So that showed you how how good we were. We
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: played two divisions up and and I was putting this
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  Speaker 2: intention out there, m m. But we lost by too,
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  Speaker 2: you know, had we had another ten seconds in the game,
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  Speaker 2: we didn't won the state title. But I believe it
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  Speaker 2: was because I said, next year, we're going to play
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  Speaker 2: in that game. Say next year, we're going to win
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  Speaker 2: that game. So so I had this you know, very
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  Speaker 2: you know, very interesting almost career and development of you know,
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  Speaker 2: of looking at how people think. And it started with myself.
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  Speaker 2: It started with myself being five foot six. And you know,
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  Speaker 2: that's not big thing to you guys open because you know,
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  Speaker 2: but if you think in the UK, people were like,
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: you know what, you played basketball? And I say, yeah,
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  Speaker 2: for every year retired, I've shrunk half a foot, you know.
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  Speaker 2: So wow. Yeah, that was my That was my introduction
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  Speaker 2: to to mental skills and and blessed and I just
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  Speaker 2: had this this gift and this way of looking for
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  Speaker 2: what I call the non obvious, you know, not the obvious.
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  Speaker 1: Well, that's a that's a great leading because I want
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  Speaker 1: I want to hear the audiences as you guys are
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  Speaker 1: listening to this. One of the things we do with
• 10:40
  Speaker 1: the business around people podcasts is start to open up
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  Speaker 1: in ideas and ways that you can apply this in
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  Speaker 1: your life to be a better leader, be a bit
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: better business owner, watching your teams and so, Jamie, I
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  Speaker 1: know you can't share everything here because this is just
• 10:53
  Speaker 1: a one podcast and probably have to come back. But
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  Speaker 1: that being said, you've eliminated highlight a little bit here.
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  Speaker 1: But some of the mental performance techniques or kind of
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  Speaker 1: core skills that you've seen that you help with clients,
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  Speaker 1: what are these you know, for handling adversity or or
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  Speaker 1: you know, getting that peak performance while you're under pressure.
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  Speaker 1: What are some of the things that you kind of
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  Speaker 1: help folks understand as far as their mental performance. What
• 11:20
  Speaker 1: are their techniques over the ways that you're guiding them.
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  Speaker 2: Well, the first thing, you know, I like the question,
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  Speaker 2: you know what the techniques? Okay, we're not looking at techniques,
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  Speaker 2: And I tell you why we're not looking at techniques
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  Speaker 2: because think of it like sports. You know, if you
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: play tennis, if you play golf, and the first thing
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  Speaker 2: you do, the first thing you do is you get
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  Speaker 2: a lot of tips, you read a lot of magazines.
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  Speaker 2: You go to the golf coach and he's going to say,
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: let's fix this, let's look at this. And you know,
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  Speaker 2: and I've I've coached that many many many golf courses,
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  Speaker 2: high end ones around the UK and parts of Europe
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  Speaker 2: and the Middle East, and so I am very familiar
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  Speaker 2: with people going for golf lessons when something has gone wrong. Now,
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  Speaker 2: and I'm going to come back to this, but people
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  Speaker 2: do not need more tips. They need to change their
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  Speaker 2: approach first. I can give you a ton of tips.
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  Speaker 2: I can give you a ton of tools, yep, but
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  Speaker 2: it's going to be the right tool at the right time.
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  Speaker 2: Right now, I have in my hand, I have an
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  Speaker 2: apple pen. Okay, this pen is of no use if
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  Speaker 2: I'm drawing on a flip chart. I need another tool.
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  Speaker 2: And this is what happens is people say, what about
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  Speaker 2: the tips? Give me? You know what am I gonna do?
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  Speaker 2: And you know, one of my a client who I
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  Speaker 2: work with for ten years, I become a very good
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: friend of mine. Now Joe Hart, former Manchester City goalkeeper,
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  Speaker 2: just finished his career at one of the biggest clubs,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: Celtic in Scotland and a former England number one. So
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: ten years ago, ten years ago, he's going into a
• 13:18
  Speaker 2: World Cup year and he gets dropped by And this
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  Speaker 2: is what I want your people to think about. I
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: want you to ask this question, how does this apply
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  Speaker 2: to me?
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  Speaker 1: Yes?
• 13:30
  Speaker 2: And how do I use this? Don't think oh Jamie's
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: telling this story. I want you to think, how does
• 13:34
  Speaker 2: it apply to me in your personal circumstances. So Joe
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  Speaker 2: gets dropped by his manager. It's in the pelle Greni era.
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  Speaker 2: A lot of people associate Joe with the Pep Guardiola,
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  Speaker 2: who is the most famous, you know, best, one of
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: the best coaches on the planet right now. So he
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: gets dropped. I get a phone call Jamie. I I
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: don't know what to do. I said, Joe, do you
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  Speaker 2: know how to play in goal? The phone goes silent.
• 14:06
  Speaker 2: David Okay, He's thinking, is this guy really asking me
• 14:09
  Speaker 2: do I know how to play and goal? I'm like
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: number one goalkeeper and he's asking me do I know
• 14:13
  Speaker 2: how to play and goal? So I said, do you
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  Speaker 2: know how to play goal? He said yeah. I said,
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  Speaker 2: are you training hard every day? He said yeah. I said,
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  Speaker 2: you already know what to do. The situation is not
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: asking you what to do, Joe, it's asking you who
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  Speaker 2: do you need to be? And this is what happens.
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  Speaker 2: So when somebody's in a crisis, when somebody's in a challenge,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: and somebody's in like the dip or the pit, they're
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: in this horrible moment. The first thing they ask is
• 14:46
  Speaker 2: the brain asks is what do I do? What do
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: I do? And it goes I don't know now, So
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: what I get them to ask is I get them
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  Speaker 2: to ask this question, who do I need to be?
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  Speaker 2: Who do I need to be to get back in
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  Speaker 2: the team?
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  Speaker 1: M m m hmmm.
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  Speaker 2: Who do I need to be to go to another level?
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  Speaker 2: And and that the answer is I need to be patient,
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  Speaker 2: I need to be persistent, I need to be calm
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: mm hmmm. And then you can say what do I
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  Speaker 2: need to do?
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  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: And and and when it's done the other way around that,
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: you know, brain goes into panic. I don't know, I've
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: never been in this situation before, right, And so so
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: it's not a tip or a tool or a technique.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: It's it's helping them who do they need to become?
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: And that's that's the that's the that's the challenge at first.
• 15:41
  Speaker 2: Now if if I'll share with you, because I do
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: get asked, why is it that an elite performer or
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: somebody in business or somebody in extreme life circumstance, how
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: do you get through to them? And and I say
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: to them and say to them this. I had a builder.
• 16:00
  Speaker 2: I had a builder, David he was. His nickname was Badger. Okay,
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: his nickname was Badger. Here in the UK, when a
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: job goes wrong, yeah, and it's not been a great job,
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: we call it budge. You've bodged the job. Okay. So
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: his nickname was Badger, not Budger, all right, and so
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: and so Badger called me one day and he said, Jamie,
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: I need information. I said, go and see Keith. Keith
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: was the architect. He said, Keith keep saying we'll have
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: a chat, we'll have a chat, a very English phrase
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: that we'll have a chat, we'll have a chat. He said,
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: I'm sick of having chats. When are we going to
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: have a conversation? And that became the mantra on the
• 16:46
  Speaker 2: building side. So if ever he called me or wanted
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: to see me, and I'd ask him, is it a
• 16:52
  Speaker 2: chat or is it a conversation? If it was a chat,
• 16:56
  Speaker 2: if it was a chat. He was a very big
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: guy as well. So I was very relieved, you know,
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: I was. I was like, it's only a chat. We
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: were only exchanging information.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 17:06
  Speaker 2: But if he called me and said, Jamie, it's a conversation,
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  Speaker 2: that meant we had to focus. That meant something was
• 17:13
  Speaker 2: going to improve, something was going to go to the
• 17:16
  Speaker 2: next level. Now here's the here's the thing, David. Most
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: people in sports, in business, or life, they think that
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: they're having honest conversations with about their game, about their business,
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: about their personal lives. But what they're really doing is
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: they're having chats. Oh man, they're having chats, David. Now,
• 17:43
  Speaker 2: in some cases you could call this and I'm giving
• 17:46
  Speaker 2: you this is my world. But basically, what they're doing
• 17:50
  Speaker 2: is they're telling people what they want to hear. They're
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: telling the inner circle what they want to hear, their agents,
• 17:57
  Speaker 2: their coaches, their family. You know why ask them, how's
• 18:02
  Speaker 2: your game? Fine? Not are we okay? Yeah, we're okay. Zip.
• 18:08
  Speaker 2: They do this, they zip them out. Yes, typical managing
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: when under pressure. So so the point when they get
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: to me, so stay with me, guys. The point when
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: they come to me. I get a phone call and
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: shit is going downhill. Yep, all right, yep, you know.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: And again it could be it could be a business
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: guy as well, but it's going downhill. And I get
• 18:36
  Speaker 2: a phone call and I and I ask them this question.
• 18:40
  Speaker 2: I asked everybody, if you're sat in front of me,
• 18:43
  Speaker 2: if you're in an audience, if I'm speaking to your company,
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: I ask everybody this question. We can either have a
• 18:48
  Speaker 2: chat or we can have a conversation. Which one do
• 18:52
  Speaker 2: you want to do? And they go, what's the difference?
• 18:55
  Speaker 2: So then I tell them, you see them. Most of
• 19:00
  Speaker 2: the honest conversations happen outside of the boardroom. They happen.
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: They happen in the men's room. They happen in the restaurant,
• 19:13
  Speaker 2: in the pub as we call it here, Ye, yep.
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: They don't happen in the room. In the room, people
• 19:20
  Speaker 2: tell others what they want to hear. In the locker room,
• 19:24
  Speaker 2: they tell what you want to hear. Then they go
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: out of the locker room and they say, did you
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: see how David was practicing today instead of having that
• 19:35
  Speaker 2: conversation with David yep, yep. So when people ask me
• 19:42
  Speaker 2: all the time, how do you get them to shift
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: so quickly? And I say, we can either chat or
• 19:48
  Speaker 2: we can do the conversation. And they say that when
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: they say they want to do the conversation, that then
• 19:52
  Speaker 2: gives us permission to go deep. Yes, to go deep
• 19:59
  Speaker 2: quickly mm hmm, with no agenda, because I al would say,
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: my agenda is to have you have this conversation with yourself.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, wow, you then with others. Man, Jamie, you're giving
• 20:16
  Speaker 1: me so much. I love the I love this framework
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: of chat or conversation. Uh, we don't necessarily always say
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: to have a chat, but I think in the United States,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: but the gist of it is totally right on hit
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: the money, and I agree with you. Unfortunately, unfortunately, we're
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: set up a lot to have a lot more chats
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: than having real conversations because it's uncomfortable if you're not
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: having those conversations regularly, right, It's like, yes, that's like
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: how I don't like the feeling.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: You know, Yeah, it's it's uncomfortable. You know, people are
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: not used to having those. And and then there's there's
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: miscommunications some people when they say, you know, oh can
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: we have a chat? And one person thinks it's a
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: chat and another person thinks it's a conversation. And I
• 21:06
  Speaker 2: had I had a hr director of an insurance company
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: here in London, and I remember him saying to me,
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: he said, my chairman and my CEO have performance conversations,
• 21:20
  Speaker 2: but we've bred a culture of performance chats. And he
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: said that phrase of yours has gone through the business
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: because people are just asking, you know, is this a
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: chart or is it a conversation? And they go it's
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: a chat, and they go fine, and just exchanging information.
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: But when they say it's a conversation, they know they
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: actually know the context. They've got to focus. You know,
• 21:46
  Speaker 2: something's going to go to a different level. And here's
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: here's the main thing. This is what I want I
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: want your guys to take away. If we're having a conversation,
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: it's not especially in the corporate world or the business world,
• 22:00
  Speaker 2: people think that it's it's an attack. But if you
• 22:05
  Speaker 2: if you've got a culture, and this could be in
• 22:08
  Speaker 2: the family as well, if you've got a culture of
• 22:13
  Speaker 2: we're having an honest conversation for the betterment of each other.
• 22:19
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm, Like I'm saying it this way for you
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: to go to another level and me for the both
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: of us. Not it's not an attack yep. And and
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: for most most companies especially and teams as well, so
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: most teams and in sports teams, it's you know, a
• 22:41
  Speaker 2: dysfunctional team avoids conflict, right.
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: So I think the one thing, you know, if that's
• 22:53
  Speaker 2: the starting point for me in in my work, is
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: is the understanding the difference between a chain and a conversation. Now,
• 23:04
  Speaker 2: I don't just work with sports people. I'd be I'd
• 23:07
  Speaker 2: be you know, I wasn't put on this planet to
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: just help people win at their sports. My daughter, my
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: daughter is sixteen years old. I've got four children, two
• 23:22
  Speaker 2: step children to you know, my son and a daughter
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: and two big girls who are step children. Now here's
• 23:31
  Speaker 2: the interesting one. When when my sixteen year old daughter,
• 23:35
  Speaker 2: she was nine at the time, she's in the back
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: of the car. She's in the back of the car.
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: I see her face isn't looking great. We're about a
• 23:43
  Speaker 2: mile from home and she says, she says, Dad, when
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: we get back, I need to talk to you, and
• 23:48
  Speaker 2: it's a conversation, not a chat nine years old, David. Wow,
• 23:56
  Speaker 2: now she's sixteen now, believe me, she loves and honest conversation.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: But here's the thing, cause set in motion mm hmm,
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: like giving the tools to your inner circle.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: M mm hmm. Yeah.
• 24:16
  Speaker 2: Wow, this is why this is when when I'm working
• 24:19
  Speaker 2: with people, it's not because they're superstar athlete. It's because
• 24:25
  Speaker 2: the impact on their inner circle. They're inner circle could
• 24:29
  Speaker 2: be their own family absolutely in a circle, could be
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: their agent and their management team mm hmm. If you're
• 24:39
  Speaker 2: if you're the business guy, it's your family, it's your
• 24:44
  Speaker 2: leadership team. You know, you're going through stuff yourself, you're
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: having chats at home, you're having chats with your leadership team.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Mm hmm.
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: You're you're atally coaching your family to have chats.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: M mm hmmm mm hmm. Yeah. And before we started
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the recording the podcasting, we kind of talked about this too.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: We all we all have we're all like, we all
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: lie at some level, lies of omission and lies of comission,
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: and I think what happens is if we can keep chats,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: we don't really have to dig too deep into those
• 25:25
  Speaker 1: those lies of ourselves are kind of like we don't
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: know those uncomfortable truths that are there. But what I
• 25:30
  Speaker 1: hear you saying, Jamie, is like, let's you'll be much
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: better off in the long run if we can get
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: to those conversations and start to expose that, like you said,
• 25:37
  Speaker 1: go deep to get really the healing and get to
• 25:41
  Speaker 1: the where you really are feeling more whole instead of
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: let's just stay at the surface level like you're talking
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: about you that story earlier, that just the chats, you know,
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: like we're not getting really we're not getting really the
• 25:51
  Speaker 1: work done that we want to. I mean, we're making
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: maybe a little progress here and there, exchanging some information,
• 25:56
  Speaker 1: but we're not having the true transformation that we're seeking, right.
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And you know, as you know, transformation does
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: not come unless you're brutally honest with yourself. It doesn't come,
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: and it usually comes from it usually comes from a
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: challenging time. You know, every everybody you know, I've just
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: recently come out of, you know, a period of you know,
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: challenging times that one of the youth you said, you
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: know tools and tips and techniques, and you know, I said,
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: I didn't say it didn't have leave. I've got a lot.
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: It's just yeah, it's just we need to get them.
• 26:42
  Speaker 2: We need to get the approach changed first before. We're
• 26:45
  Speaker 2: not giving you some tips until. And it's interesting because
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I had a call today and one of the guys
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: that that the guy said, he said, you know, so,
• 26:56
  Speaker 2: what's the process. And I'm like, forget the process, I said,
• 27:00
  Speaker 2: I said, are you ready to shift? So so, but
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: the interesting thing with you know, I the year was
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: twenty ten, Yeah, twenty ten, and I'm I'm in front
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: of it was a car dealer, a car dealership network,
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: and I was doing some training for their sales team.
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: And I got to the point of talking about the
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: chat and conversation and I said to them, I said,
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: you know, you could have honest conversation because their leader
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: was asking them to go to he was asking them
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: for crazy numbers in a challenge, really challenging period. And
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: I said, you've got to have honest conversations. And here's
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: what happened. I had an out of body experience. And
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: you talk about you know, being guided or certain things
• 27:52
  Speaker 2: talking to you at certain times, the voice whatever you
• 27:57
  Speaker 2: want to call it, God, this is what happened to
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: me at that moment. So I'm in front of this
• 28:04
  Speaker 2: group and said, you gotta have honest conversations. I floated
• 28:08
  Speaker 2: out of myself and looked back at myself, David, and said,
• 28:17
  Speaker 2: if you say that one more freaking time to a
• 28:23
  Speaker 2: group and you don't have that conversation with yourself, I'm
• 28:27
  Speaker 2: going to point you. And then I floated back in myself,
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: floated back in myself, and I carried on that evening.
• 28:38
  Speaker 2: I woke up at five in the morning with a
• 28:41
  Speaker 2: brand with a brand new notebook journal. I've been keeping
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: journals since I was nineteen years old, brand new. I
• 28:52
  Speaker 2: still have it today. I if I had fifteen minutes,
• 28:56
  Speaker 2: I could probabify the exact journal. Okay, I still have
• 28:59
  Speaker 2: it today. And I wrote ten pages, Davidow pages of brutal,
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: brutal honesty. And it wasn't all it was. It was
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: what needed to change. What was I good at, what
• 29:12
  Speaker 2: was I not good at? What did I love? What
• 29:14
  Speaker 2: did I not love? It was just an honest conversation.
• 29:18
  Speaker 2: And from that I then I actually threw a hand
• 29:21
  Speaker 2: grenade into my life. I threw a hand grenade into
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: my life, and and and things changed, and you know
• 29:31
  Speaker 2: as you know that, you know again, transformation comes from
• 29:36
  Speaker 2: you know, from those really dark bottom places. Yeah, that
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: was you know, that was an example of you know,
• 29:45
  Speaker 2: you you you have to have that and you have
• 29:48
  Speaker 2: to get it out of your head because most people
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: have that conversation in their head on the way to
• 29:55
  Speaker 2: the office in the middle of I need to s
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: this email, have I got back to such and such
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: a body, and then they'll have a couple of minutes
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: of what they really need to be focusing on. Mm hmm.
• 30:12
  Speaker 2: And so the first bit is you have to get
• 30:16
  Speaker 2: that out of your head, and you you have to
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: have a way, and journaling is a way. There's a
• 30:21
  Speaker 2: way that you know, you know, I know, which is
• 30:24
  Speaker 2: you know, stacking. You know that's that's a way. So
• 30:30
  Speaker 2: but you've got to get it out of your head
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: and look at it from a different perspective.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: As you're saying that, Jamie, one one of the things
• 30:38
  Speaker 1: I've seen and I'd love doing your perspective here because
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: if you if I agree hundred percent, the stacking and
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: getting out of your head is important. I think the
• 30:46
  Speaker 1: challenge that I've seen, at least in some leaders is
• 30:50
  Speaker 1: they get a certain level of success, and and so
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: they have these What we love about the stacking I
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: both use a stack tool is just break down the stories.
• 31:00
  Speaker 1: What happens is you have stories that if you're not
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: breaking them down, and then you have people external to
• 31:06
  Speaker 1: you that maybe are further behind you, and they want
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: to chat. They want to chat you up to use
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: your language, Jamie. They want to chat you up because
• 31:15
  Speaker 1: they don't feel like they can they can challenge you
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: in a healthy way because you've kind of got the answers.
• 31:22
  Speaker 1: You've got the story, you've got this persona you you
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: accepted it. You're not getting any real raw truth bringing
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: into your life, which you will desperately need. But you've
• 31:32
  Speaker 1: created a story in or around yourself because you've achieved
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: such a level of success. You've working with these folks,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: and so it's kind of like they've created this buffer. Unfortunately,
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: they've created this world that no longer serves them, and
• 31:44
  Speaker 1: so they get people that are just because they're not
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: doing the internal work. What I hear you saying, Jamie,
• 31:48
  Speaker 1: and themselves, they cannot They certainly it's going to be
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: near I think near impossible to get somebody externally to
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: come in and be able to speak in your life
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: if you're not living it yourself. Right, You're like, what
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: is this? I feel like it's an attack ifuse anyone's
• 32:00
  Speaker 1: coming there, Who who are they to come and speak
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: into my life? Who are they to speak that truth
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: into my life? They don't have the right to do that,
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: rightther you get the self righteousness or this?
• 32:11
  Speaker 2: You know, are you asking do the people I work with? Yeah,
• 32:17
  Speaker 2: how do you break that?
• 32:18
  Speaker 1: Where there's there are people that have that self preservation
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: around them. They're they're preserving themselves and that's a mindset
• 32:24
  Speaker 1: that no longer serves them anymore. You know.
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: Well, in in my experience, and I can only speak
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: from my experience, is that they understand that they've been
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: having chats with everybody else around them. And the timing
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: is I've had one of these calls today. The timing is,
• 32:53
  Speaker 2: we're not we're not having chats. And I asked them,
• 32:57
  Speaker 2: have you got time to chat? And they say no,
• 33:02
  Speaker 2: because you know, they're at the point where either they
• 33:05
  Speaker 2: need to get back in the team or they need
• 33:08
  Speaker 2: to turn the business around, you know. And I've had
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: a you know, a guy only today. I mean I've
• 33:15
  Speaker 2: known I've known this guy. For many, many years, way
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: over a decade. I worked with his his sports team.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: He's the he's the leader of the organization and every
• 33:27
  Speaker 2: you know, I said to him. The last time we spoke,
• 33:31
  Speaker 2: he text me this morning, David, you know true story.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: I only tell true stories. He text me this morning
• 33:36
  Speaker 2: and he said this is what he said. I need
• 33:38
  Speaker 2: a session. Things have stagnated. And I called him back
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: and I said, I said, are you going to invest
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: in yourself? You've been having chats yep, yep. So really,
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: so here's the key point, David, that people are not
• 34:03
  Speaker 2: The timing is that they will come back to you.
• 34:08
  Speaker 2: If you're leading others and you're at a certain level,
• 34:12
  Speaker 2: then the next thing is are you passing that on?
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: Are you teaching? Are you living? And it's interesting, you
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: know some people, you know some I've got an MD
• 34:25
  Speaker 2: that's just popped into my head and he's he said,
• 34:29
  Speaker 2: you know, I took He said, I taught one of
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: my leadership team the eight steps to start in a
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: difficult conversation because I coached him that. Because he's had
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: to have difficult conversations with some of his stakeholders. And
• 34:43
  Speaker 2: he said he's coached one of his leadership teams. To me,
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: that's music to my ears, David, because in order in
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: order for him to be able to teach that, he
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: has had to live it and experience it.
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm h I love what you're sharing, Jamie, because
• 35:01
  Speaker 1: they're taking it and this is the beauty of a coach.
• 35:05
  Speaker 1: It's it's what you're expressing, Jamie. This gentleman recognized he
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: needed helping you a perspective shift. He needed you to
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: ask him the questions that candidly nobody else was asking him. Right,
• 35:16
  Speaker 1: somebody else isn't asking the questions, and you're like opening
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: them up to the possibilities and essentially unlocking him. If
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: you're will Yeah.
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: I think that. You know, for many years I used
• 35:29
  Speaker 2: to grapple with what you know? What people said, well,
• 35:35
  Speaker 2: you know what are you? You know? Are you a psychologist?
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: Are you a life coach?
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: Are you you.
• 35:40
  Speaker 2: Know what you call yourself? You know, No, I'm not
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: a psychologists. I didn't look. You know, this wasn't something
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: that I learned in the university. And this isn't something
• 35:50
  Speaker 2: that you can I could have learned in the university,
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: because this is this was University of life. Yeah, this
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: was that, you know, I had to have been experiencing
• 36:03
  Speaker 2: all of the things that the people like coach experience,
• 36:09
  Speaker 2: but the one, the one thing for if you're going
• 36:14
  Speaker 2: to if you're going to coach others in your business
• 36:19
  Speaker 2: and help them go to a different level, it's it's you.
• 36:24
  Speaker 2: It's you going first. They say, the leader goes first. Yes,
• 36:29
  Speaker 2: you have to go first. You want you want the
• 36:32
  Speaker 2: culture of and a lot of organizations talk about cult
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: you know, this is what we want the culture to be.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: And they have these values on the wall, but they're
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: not living those values.
• 36:46
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, yeah, We've talked about core values in the
• 36:49
  Speaker 1: past and the previous podcast episodes Mission and Vision. Are
• 36:52
  Speaker 1: you in alignment with that? And you're you're so right, Jamie.
• 36:55
  Speaker 1: And the other thing you mentioned earlier, I think it's
• 36:58
  Speaker 1: really important is are they willing to invest in themselves?
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: Uh?
• 37:01
  Speaker 1: For me, that was really key, you know, as a
• 37:05
  Speaker 1: as a cut stop being into the coaching business. I
• 37:07
  Speaker 1: haven't been as long as you have. But when my
• 37:08
  Speaker 1: company is like really realizing that, you, Jamie, are a
• 37:12
  Speaker 1: mechanism for folks to invest in themselves. You're the conduit
• 37:16
  Speaker 1: if you will that, They're like, I know, I need
• 37:18
  Speaker 1: the help. I know, I need something, and and and
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: so Jamie, by you being that person that's really investing
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: in themselves to be that greater influence, and so I
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: wanted to recognize that Jamie and your and your you know,
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: the impact you have and like you said, it's lasting
• 37:35
  Speaker 1: because it's then it's not just that person. They've invested
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: in themselves and they're bringing that back into their organization, right.
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: Yeah, they're bringing it back into the organization. But you know, David,
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: I'm going to say this, I'm going to say this
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: to you guys. I don't care about your organization. I
• 37:49
  Speaker 2: say this to all my guys and women because I
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: coach a lot of women. I say and I say this.
• 37:57
  Speaker 2: I've had I've had the chairman of the company looking
• 38:00
  Speaker 2: at me like I can't believe you've just said you
• 38:04
  Speaker 2: don't care about the company. And I'm being very you know,
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: like I say, I care about you, you, you, you,
• 38:15
  Speaker 2: and you as an individual first, yep, because if you,
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: as the individual go to the next level, then you
• 38:24
  Speaker 2: can contribute to the company or the group or the team,
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: which is the we mm hm. Most organizations or teams
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: or families talk about we we need to be better,
• 38:36
  Speaker 2: We need to go to another level. But if you're
• 38:39
  Speaker 2: if you're in that, we you can hide.
• 38:41
  Speaker 1: Yes, that's true, yep.
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: So I'm interested in you going to another level. Then
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: you can contribute to the group. And then the group
• 38:50
  Speaker 2: can contribute to the stakeholders or the clients or the
• 38:54
  Speaker 2: external clients. And that's that's the folks first. So the
• 39:01
  Speaker 2: investment is and here's the challenge for somebody in the
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: corporate world. Okay, here's the challenge. They know they need
• 39:09
  Speaker 2: to go to another level.
• 39:12
  Speaker 1: M h.
• 39:14
  Speaker 2: People know that. Yeah, yep, So how am I going
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: to get there? The company has a coaching program or
• 39:20
  Speaker 2: they have coaching services, great, okay, are you utilizing that? Yes?
• 39:24
  Speaker 2: Or no? In many cases, let's give it a sports example.
• 39:29
  Speaker 2: Most of all of my clients, their work is done
• 39:33
  Speaker 2: outside of the club, outside of their If we're talking soccer,
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: it's done outside of their soccer club because they want
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: to know that I am private to them.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
• 39:49
  Speaker 2: So they can have a conversation with you know, they say,
• 39:54
  Speaker 2: are you the manager's men or are you my men?
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmmm.
• 40:00
  Speaker 2: So in an organization, the question you said before is
• 40:04
  Speaker 2: are you investing in yourself. Now, I say this too.
• 40:10
  Speaker 2: Let's use my football guys as an example, and I
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: say this to the football guys, you have to invest
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: in yourself outside of the club. The club has twenty two,
• 40:22
  Speaker 2: twenty two players. What are you doing outside of the club? Yeah,
• 40:28
  Speaker 2: And it's and this is this is why I also
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: work with the business guys because I love this conversation.
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: What are you doing outside of the organization? Are you
• 40:39
  Speaker 2: only using the company's resources or are you investing in yours? Yeah?
• 40:47
  Speaker 1: Right, And and you hit a that's a really great point, Jamie,
• 40:51
  Speaker 1: because even in the United States here, Yeah, Ben, I've
• 40:54
  Speaker 1: worked in large organizations and they do have training programs
• 40:59
  Speaker 1: in the company has a specific agenda. Let's just say,
• 41:01
  Speaker 1: project managers, we want to train you to be the
• 41:03
  Speaker 1: best project manager. Okay, we got all these systems and processes,
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: and it's it's as good. But like you said, and
• 41:09
  Speaker 1: I've seen this in organizations too, where I've worked with
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: employees where they're just like, well, all they do the
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: training or work if it's paid for me, I'm not
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: investing additional money or time outside, right, Well, how invested
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: are you? Then? Really?
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Well? You know again this again that the chat or
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: the conversation. So the honest conversation is, well, if you're
• 41:34
  Speaker 2: waiting for the company to pay for it, then it's
• 41:39
  Speaker 2: like you're asking permission for somebody to allow you to
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: explode to the next level. It's like, it's like you've
• 41:50
  Speaker 2: got to ask somebody permission, will you. I'm being being
• 41:55
  Speaker 2: dead you know, like again, I'm just again. You know,
• 42:00
  Speaker 2: there's there's plenty I've got plenty of examples of saying
• 42:05
  Speaker 2: to guys and they say, well, well, well, and that
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: they're on the fence and the defense. I'm gonna wait
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: till the company. And I'm like, so you're so if
• 42:14
  Speaker 2: the company say no, then you are giving somebody else
• 42:22
  Speaker 2: permission to allow you to go to the next level.
• 42:27
  Speaker 2: And they they could say no, we don't have the budget.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Mhmm yep.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: And so this is why I say you it's interesting again,
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna get bring it back to sports, you know,
• 42:43
  Speaker 2: the sports business life. And many years ago I got
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: asked by an x an ex player in this country.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: He was called Stan Collymore and he was well well documented.
• 42:58
  Speaker 2: He had mental health challenges. Sorry, you know, he'd hit
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: his ex partner and he really struggled. It was and
• 43:07
  Speaker 2: we're talking twenty odd years ago, and he asked me.
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: He said, Jamie, whose responsibility is it? Now? This is
• 43:14
  Speaker 2: no different from being in a company. He said, whose
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: responsibility is it? Is it the club's responsibility to provide
• 43:22
  Speaker 2: the service for the player? Is it the players? Is
• 43:25
  Speaker 2: it the family? And it said in two people. First
• 43:31
  Speaker 2: of all the agent, because if the agent wants the
• 43:33
  Speaker 2: player to go to the next level, then they should
• 43:36
  Speaker 2: invest in the player in the service. But it's got
• 43:41
  Speaker 2: to be the player. But the player doesn't know that
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: he needs it until he crashes. And then and David,
• 43:52
  Speaker 2: this is this is everybody think of this when you
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: come you have the crash to meet mental health is
• 44:02
  Speaker 2: like car insurance after you've had a crush. Mmm. I
• 44:08
  Speaker 2: don't call it mental health. I don't use that phrase
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: for me. It's mental skills. We're developing a skill before
• 44:17
  Speaker 2: you even think that you're going to need it.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Oh that I love that. Yeah, because what we all
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: we people do physical right, You're you're physically taking care
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: of yourself. Why not mentally? Why don't we? Why don't
• 44:29
  Speaker 1: we do that same exercise? And I think I don't
• 44:31
  Speaker 1: know why, Jamie you're right. I mean, we were raised
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: with physical health all the time. But there's this weird
• 44:36
  Speaker 1: dichotomy and and it's not obviously you deal with that.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: They're in England. In the United States, I don't think
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: it's it's a we just don't deal with that. And
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: I think we're better. We're better about it nowadays than
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: we have been. But still, and I like your idea
• 44:50
  Speaker 1: of rather than mental health and mental skills, like how
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: are you developing yourself just like going to the gym, building,
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: muscle building, finesse building, you know, your boy to handle
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: the different challenges mentally, how are you doing that?
• 45:05
  Speaker 2: Well? It is And you know, listen, you're on the
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: other side of the pond, and I have you know,
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: the utmost respect for the you know, the development of
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: this area on the other side of the pond. You know,
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: you know that it was the birthplace of of most coaching,
• 45:27
  Speaker 2: and you know it is different. I think in the US,
• 45:32
  Speaker 2: you know, people are even more open to it than
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: than than anywhere you know, you know, I hear so,
• 45:42
  Speaker 2: so yeah, I think it's more more available, I think.
• 45:45
  Speaker 2: But I'm going to say across society, there is a
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: desperate need. There's a desperate need for for people to
• 45:54
  Speaker 2: to develop skills and not be reactive. And again I
• 46:01
  Speaker 2: come back to I'm I'm working with with you, whether
• 46:07
  Speaker 2: you're a business guy or a sports guy, because I
• 46:13
  Speaker 2: see the impact you're going to have when you're in
• 46:15
  Speaker 2: a circle.
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: Absolutely, man, Jamie, there's so much we're covering here. I
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: feel like we could do We coul definitely not. We
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: might have to come back at a WHO another podcast series,
• 46:26
  Speaker 1: because I feel like this is a good pausing place,
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: because what I'm hearing is that there's there's a definitely
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: need for these mental skills you're going to get popab
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: in your in your business and your coaching world. They
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: might teach you some technical, like you said, tips or
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: tricks to be a better you know, soccer player, football footballer,
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: or maybe you know your management skills, and that's all
• 46:47
  Speaker 1: well and good. But what we're here, when I'm hearing you,
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: Jamie say, is that if you're looking for a coach
• 46:52
  Speaker 1: to really unlock you in the mental space, creating a
• 46:54
  Speaker 1: space where you have those skills and abilities to have
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: those conversations which are life altering, transformational, leaving you in
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: a much much better place and influencing those around you,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: but your family or co workers. That's what I hear you, champion, Jamie,
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: and I feel like you said, there's so much of
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: a need for that across the world. That's why I
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: got into coaching as well, because I'm fifty myself and
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: I saw that I've lived a career of consulting and
• 47:23
  Speaker 1: I'm like, Okay, I see people see some success in
• 47:27
  Speaker 1: their life, but I feel like there's this limiter in
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: how they can truly be Jamie, this has been awesome.
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: You've left me with some really great thoughts. I hope
• 47:36
  Speaker 1: the audience that are listening here. But as we're wrapping
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: up the podcast today, what would just be your key
• 47:41
  Speaker 1: kind of takeaways or things that you want to just
• 47:43
  Speaker 1: again reemphasize as are listening and hearing your stories and
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: your experience in this.
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: And it would it would always you know, if I said,
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: if there was one thing, it would be start having
• 47:57
  Speaker 2: more conversations and less chats. Okay. And there's two places.
• 48:03
  Speaker 2: First of all, the conversation with yourself, Okay, you know,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: there's and and being you know it's a difficult conversation,
• 48:15
  Speaker 2: but it's being brutally honest with yourself, and you can
• 48:17
  Speaker 2: do that in many ways. You have to get it
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: out of your head though. You know this this whole
• 48:23
  Speaker 2: I got to do this, I've got to do more.
• 48:25
  Speaker 2: I got to do this. I'm not really being at
• 48:27
  Speaker 2: my best here, like it will get lost. Write it down,
• 48:30
  Speaker 2: look at it from a different perspective, because it's there
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: in front of you. So that would be the first thing.
• 48:36
  Speaker 2: Have the conversation with yourself. Make a list of who
• 48:38
  Speaker 2: you need to have a conversation with, you know, the
• 48:42
  Speaker 2: women that I work with who have cancer. You know,
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: I shared this story with you my you know, very
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: good friend of mine now. But ten years ago I was,
• 48:52
  Speaker 2: you know, I was facilitating a Mastermind group in London
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: and this woman said to me, she at the end,
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: she said, would you come and speak to a group
• 49:00
  Speaker 2: of women who are living with cancer? And I said, Amanda,
• 49:03
  Speaker 2: I said, what is my work going to do for
• 49:07
  Speaker 2: a group of women who have cancer? And she said,
• 49:10
  Speaker 2: believe me what I've heard today. So you know, I
• 49:14
  Speaker 2: have this rule, show up. When you show up, good
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: things happen. So I flew down, you know, down the country,
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: did this talk for fifteen women. It's the most humbling
• 49:23
  Speaker 2: humbling thing that I've ever done. David. Now I'm in
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: that session and I went, wow, now I know because
• 49:34
  Speaker 2: there were women there who were saying, I need to
• 49:37
  Speaker 2: have a conversation with my husband, I've been having chats,
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: or my husband wants to have conversations with me, but
• 49:47
  Speaker 2: I've been having chats. Or I need to have a
• 49:51
  Speaker 2: conversation with my sister, or it doesn't matter. But this,
• 49:59
  Speaker 2: in that moment, I was like, Wow, this was a
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: decade ago. I still to this day coach women who
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: are living with living with cancer, and and and we
• 50:14
  Speaker 2: you know, it's like speed dating at one of the events,
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: you know, they they line up just to sit down
• 50:20
  Speaker 2: with me and we get straight to it because they
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: all know, and and they go, you're gonna have a
• 50:27
  Speaker 2: conversation with Jamie. And they sit down and there's no
• 50:31
  Speaker 2: there's no intro, David, I just lead with okay, conversational chat,
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: and they go conversation. I go, what's going on? And
• 50:40
  Speaker 2: it and then it's nothing to do with the diagnosis.
• 50:45
  Speaker 2: They're straight in, right, And so so I want your
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: group to what's the one thing it's start looking searching
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: for the conversation with yourself with others. And then you know,
• 51:03
  Speaker 2: if you want to take this another level, there's a
• 51:07
  Speaker 2: conversation with somebody above. Mm hmmm. Yeah. Now now here's
• 51:13
  Speaker 2: here's what's interesting, right because in my world again I
• 51:17
  Speaker 2: call this delabeling. All right, delabeling. I said to you,
• 51:21
  Speaker 2: this is an apple pencil. Okay, if I take the
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: piece of fruit off it, it becomes just a pencil.
• 51:32
  Speaker 2: If I put the piece of fruit back on it,
• 51:34
  Speaker 2: it's an apple pencil. So I've just delabeled it. Okay,
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: So I want you to think of this. This is
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: a context. Okay, we're going to d label I want
• 51:48
  Speaker 2: I want your your guys too. How do I say this.
• 51:55
  Speaker 2: I've just lost my train of for going onto the
• 51:57
  Speaker 2: onto the pencil.
• 51:58
  Speaker 1: Just dilabeling. As we're talking about kind of the voice
• 52:02
  Speaker 1: above or.
• 52:03
  Speaker 2: Yes, the voice above. There you go, there you go. So,
• 52:06
  Speaker 2: so whatever the label that you want to put on that,
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: you know, I'm not going to tell you what that
• 52:11
  Speaker 2: that is. You know, for some, for some it's God,
• 52:15
  Speaker 2: for some it's the voice, for some it's spirit. In
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: the sports world, you know, it's interesting. Somebody the other
• 52:24
  Speaker 2: day I was coaching him and he said he was
• 52:27
  Speaker 2: very religious so it was God. But I said to him,
• 52:31
  Speaker 2: I said, when you're at your best, you've got this
• 52:35
  Speaker 2: feeling of being at your best, and that feeling it's
• 52:40
  Speaker 2: like God, like you can do anything. Yep. Yeah. But
• 52:46
  Speaker 2: if I said God to somebody who doesn't believe in God,
• 52:52
  Speaker 2: it's just when your guys walk into the office and
• 52:57
  Speaker 2: you are at your very very best. I don't care what.
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: There's a time and I want you to think back
• 53:03
  Speaker 2: to that time when you've waltked through the office, through
• 53:06
  Speaker 2: the wholes of your company, and you've been like, I
• 53:09
  Speaker 2: am the very very best at what I do, Like
• 53:14
  Speaker 2: there is something moving in you mm hmmm, mm hmm.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: And unfortunately, guys do not capture that. And again this
• 53:25
  Speaker 2: is in the in the in the sports world, because
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: what they do, they play well one week, not the
• 53:31
  Speaker 2: week after, and then they're like this, holding the hands
• 53:34
  Speaker 2: up and they're hoping, they're looking up to the sky,
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: hoping that they are going to play well. And I say, yeah,
• 53:41
  Speaker 2: that's an age of mental technique. Praying is an age
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: your mental technique, But I want them to be tactical specific,
• 53:51
  Speaker 2: so delabel it the conversation. You might have to start
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: accessing that conversation in different ways, and there's all kinds
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: of tools for that you can have that. You know, again, meditation,
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna delabel it because people just think you're gonna
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: be hugging trees. Okay, I don't call it meditation, David,
• 54:15
  Speaker 2: We call it stillness. So how how are you, as
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: a leader of a team, a leader of a department,
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: a leader of a family, going to become still? How?
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: We cannot tell you what you have to do, but
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: I'm going I am going to tell you have to
• 54:37
  Speaker 2: have some kind of practice, you know, some kind of practice.
• 54:42
  Speaker 2: It could be yoga, yoga kills two birds with one stone, Yeah,
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: it could be. You know, last night, you're gonna think
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: I hugged trees when I say this now, because last
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: night I went I went for a sound bath. I'm saying,
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: like hugging trees. And last night I went for a
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: sound bath. Yeah, you know, but that was just an
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: hour of me being still. But I had two minutes,
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: two minutes stillness before getting on this call with you,
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: because I didn't get my twenty minutes. And so honest,
• 55:17
  Speaker 2: conversations with yourself, then with others, and then there's somebody
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: else maybe upstairs that you need to have that conversation
• 55:25
  Speaker 2: with as well. You do those three things I'm telling you,
• 55:30
  Speaker 2: life and things will start to shift absolutely.
• 55:34
  Speaker 1: And I will attest known Jamie being directly one on
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: one in a group environment. I've seen that in Jamie
• 55:43
  Speaker 1: and the presence that you have my own personal journey
• 55:47
  Speaker 1: of faith and I've seen that as well. So you're
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: talking and you're listening to two folks that are living this,
• 55:53
  Speaker 1: not just you know, we're choosing to live this, continuing
• 55:56
  Speaker 1: to become this way. I want to just say, number one,
• 55:58
  Speaker 1: thank you Jamie for your sites. You're you're you're having
• 56:01
  Speaker 1: us so much too to take in here. If folks
• 56:05
  Speaker 1: are looking to connect with you, follow up with you,
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: what would be the best way for them to find you, Jamie.
• 56:11
  Speaker 2: Best best way is you know, for for for a chat,
• 56:16
  Speaker 2: you can get me on on social media and on
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: Instagram or LinkedIn and for a conversation. You know, my
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: mobile will be on this some way. You can give
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: me a call, my emails. I'm sure you'll share.
• 56:33
  Speaker 1: I'm happy to share you guys reach out. We're happy
• 56:36
  Speaker 1: to do that, Jamie. We definitely want to have you
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: come back, Jamie, because you've got so many great insights.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: Uh.
• 56:42
  Speaker 1: You know, I love to do these one on one episodes.
• 56:45
  Speaker 1: Sometimes we'll have a group of conversations, and so I
• 56:48
  Speaker 1: just want to appreciate and thank you for taking the
• 56:50
  Speaker 1: time to to speak. Here are the Business round Table Podcast.
• 56:53
  Speaker 1: We're really here to help you, the business owner, the leader,
• 56:56
  Speaker 1: be the most effective person leading yourself, well leading your
• 56:59
  Speaker 1: team outimately. But like you said, Jamie, it really starts
• 57:01
  Speaker 1: with you investing in yourself. And so if you've taken
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: the time and invested in yourself here and when we
• 57:07
  Speaker 1: thank you for that, we would encourage you to like
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: or subscribe or labor review. I've to a review because
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: it's going to help somebody else, so that investing in
• 57:15
  Speaker 1: yourself is going to actually help others. So I just
• 57:19
  Speaker 1: want to again say thank you, Jamie h here glad
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: to have you.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you for the invitation. And you know,
• 57:28
  Speaker 2: great great things that you know you're doing on that
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: side of the pond as well, so you know, for
• 57:35
  Speaker 2: for anybody over there, you know, if you're in if
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: you're in your sphere, David, I think there's you know,
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: that's a conversation that should be explored even more very
• 57:51
  Speaker 2: much so.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: Now appreciate it, Jamie.
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: Thank you so much.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: Until next time, everybody, thanks for so much for listening
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: on the Business round Table podcast. We will talk to
• 57:58
  Speaker 1: you on our next episode. Take everybody, thanks so much. Bye,