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2 ways Narcissist handle conflicts · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people?
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  Today we're talking about two ways in which narcissists and
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  toxic people handle conflict. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist. And welcome to another episode
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  of the Narcissist Code. Boom.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back, folks, folks, Folks, Yes, yes, welcome back.
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  So two ways in which narcissists and toxic people handle
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  conflict. How do they handle conflict?
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  You know, are there more than two ways?
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  Yes. But today I'm about to talk
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  about the two main ways that a lot of narcissists and toxic
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  people will handle conflict. Not all narcissists or toxic
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  people handle conflict in the same way.
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  Let me say that I gotta. I have to shout that from the
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  rooftops because there's people out there who watch this and
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  just like Lee. You can't speak.
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  For all narcissists, Because you don't know all narcissists.
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  You can only speak for you. Blink, blink, blink, blink,
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  blink, blink, blink Lego Batman. But yeah, two ways in which
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  narcissists and toxic people handle conflict.
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  Like, seriously? Yeah, so the 1st way is rage.
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  The 1st way that narcissists handle conflict is rage.
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  Narcissistic rage. Getting angry as hell.
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  Getting getting super angry. Getting super just beating on
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  their chest. Posturing, throwing things.
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  Threatening to hit you. Yelling and screaming.
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  You know, making just just loud, loud, you know, language.
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  You know what I mean? Y'all.
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  If you've dealt with a narcissist, you've probably
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  dealt with narcissistic rage. But not all narcissists rage.
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  We'll we'll get into that later. But narcissistic rage is when
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  they just go into these just like word salads of anger,
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  uncontrollable anger. Sometimes with a lot of you hear
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  a lot of people say, like the narcissist's eyes change colors
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  or they dilated or something like that because they're raged
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  out. Can they narcissistically rage
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  lead to some physical assault? Yeah, absolutely.
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  When they lose their minds and they blank out, sometimes they
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  will put their hands on you or their their body parts on you,
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  or they'll use the weapons against you or they'll they'll
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  injure. They will end your life, you
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  know, Let's be realistic. Some narcissistic people, when
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  they rage out, will end your life with it.
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  When the conflict is brought to them even, yeah, even when the
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  conflict was of their own doing, when you're just trying to hold
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  them accountable for something that they have done, they can
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  still rage out on you. They can absolutely still become
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  angry as hell as you and use it like, yeah, just be angry.
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  Use this against you. Be mad.
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  Y'all be mad to the highest of peaks.
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  Be mad to the highest of heavens, You know, because
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  you're just trying to hold them accountable.
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  You discovered that they were hiding money.
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  You discovered that they were cheating.
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  You discovered that they were lying.
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  You discovered that they were drinking again, even after they
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  promised that they wouldn't drink again.
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  You know, they cut out the drugs, they cut out the alcohol.
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  Whatever it is, you discovered it.
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  Somebody told you. Or you, or they told you they.
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  Even if they come to you and start the conflict, they can
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  still rage out on you. Because they Because this is
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  what? A lot.
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  This is what happened with a lot of narcissists.
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  Y'all they think because they tell you about what they've done
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  wrong. You should automatically
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  approach them in a different way.
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  Hey, at least I told you, didn't I?
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  Yes, I cheated with your best friend, but I didn't have to
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  tell you. I don't get any.
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  I don't get any points for telling you that I cheated on
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  you. With your best.
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  Friend in our bed while you. Were watching all.
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  The kids, I don't get any points for that.
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  I should get points for that. You were really angry at me.
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  You were really angry at me. They didn't.
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  Lose their minds and start yelling and screaming and going
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  crazy because you try to hold them accountable.
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  You get mad, you become dismissive.
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  You don't want to hear it. You want to break up with them.
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  You want to end the relationship.
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  They'll they, I know it sounds crazy, but yeah, they will get
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  mad as hell Y'all. Some narcissists will absolutely
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  get mad as hell. Lose their everlasting minds and
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  just go all out with the insanity because it benefits
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  them. You know the rage benefits
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  narcissistic people when they're raging out on you.
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  The rage. There's a benefit to rage.
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  And not all narcissists rage in the same way, Yo.
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  Some narcissistic rage can involve this silent treatment
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  where they're just ignoring you, you ain't and stuff like that.
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  That's that's a part of narcissistic rage, you.
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  Narcissistic rage is not always yelling and screaming.
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  Narcissistic rage is just looking at instead of yelling at
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  you. They're just they're they're
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  just being quiet. You know, they just, they just
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  remove the communication, right? They remove the communication
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  from you. They're still rage.
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  They're so mad that they don't have to yell and scream.
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  They're so mad that they don't have any words anymore for you.
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  You know? They're so damn angry that they
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  don't have any words for you anymore.
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  That's how that happens right there.
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  Y'all like they they get so goddamn mad that they just like,
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  OK, I'm so angry. I don't have words.
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  I'm so angry with you. I can't talk to you.
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  You see what I'm saying? That's what happens.
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  They get so angry that they don't even want to talk to you.
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  They're so furious that they don't want to communicate with
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  you. They just like literally they've
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  removed the communication aspect and hopefully, you know, like
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  you'll get past it and whatnot. That's the mindset of a lot of
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  narcissistic people. When the conflict is brought to
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  them, even like, even if they start the conflict, even if the
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  conflict is of their own doing, they did this.
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  They created the conflict, they created the issues.
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  It doesn't matter. They still feel like you.
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  Like this is how it's supposed to go.
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  I. Told you right?
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  I told you so. You should forgive me, you
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  should cunt holding me accountable blah blah.
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  Blah, blah, Boo, Boo, BBB, y'all get it.
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  You know what I mean? And the next way, y'all the next
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  way, I say there will be two quick ways that narcissists
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  handle conflict. The next way is avoidance.
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  The next way that narcissists handle conflict is by avoiding
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  the conflict overall. You know what I mean?
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  The narcissists avoid the conflict overall.
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  They're just like, I'm just going to avoid it.
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  I'm just not going to deal with it.
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  The easiest way for me to handle this stuff is for me to not deal
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  with it at all. That's what happens to a lot of
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  narcissists and toxic people right there.
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  They just avoid it at all cost, you know?
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  They just don't bring it up. They don't want to talk about
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  it. Let's talk about this later.
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  You mean, could silent treatment also be part of the avoidance?
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  Yes, absolutely. Yes.
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  I know people are going to say, well, isn't being solid to kind
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  of avoid it. You're you're just kind of
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  repeating yourself. Yeah.
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  Silent treatment can caulk. They're so angry that they give
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  you silent, They give you silence.
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  They don't want to talk to you and they also avoid you.
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  You know what I'm saying? So this is like silent treatment
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  can crawl. Silent treatment is like the
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  silent treatment bridges the gap between the the, the conflict,
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  how narcissists handle conflict. Right.
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  You know what I mean? Silent treatment bridges the
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  gap. But yeah, avoid it.
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  They don't want to talk about it.
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  They don't want to deal with it. They don't like, they don't.
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  They might not get mad at you. They might not give you the
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  silent treatment. They just don't want to talk
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  about it. They keep, they keep putting it
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  in off. They keep avoiding the issue.
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  They keep avoiding going to therapy.
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  They keep avoiding having this conversation.
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  They keep avoiding sitting down with you and talking to you
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  about it. They keep avoiding telling their
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  parents. They keep avoid like the
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  conflict could be y'all getting the getting their divorce.
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  They keep avoiding telling the kids, let's sit down and tell
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  the kids we're getting a divorce.
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  No, let's let's wait till later. Let's just do it later.
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  They just avoid the inevitable. Like avoidance is a big thing
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  about like how narcissists handle certain conflicts.
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  Because in the mind of a lot of narcissists, y'all it's like if
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  we we feel like if we avoid it, then it will just go away on its
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  own. If I don't have this
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  conversations with the kids about getting divorced, maybe we
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  won't get divorced because that makes it real.
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  If I handle the conflict, if I don't avoid it, it makes it
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  real. You see what I'm saying?
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  That happens so many times in these toxic relationships with
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  narcissists and toxic people. It really, really does.
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  So if you're dealing with narcissistic people, that
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  happens. Y'all.
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  It really, really does. So that's why I'm just telling
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  you, if you're dealing with a toxic, narcissistic person, this
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  is part of the dynamic right here.
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  You can win. You just have to take the
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  necessary steps in, in the right direction to win.
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  Like they're going to rage out of you.
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  They can avoid you, like I said you like.
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  If they are avoiding the issue, sometimes you might have to take
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  the necessary steps and handle it on your own.
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  Whatever accountability looks like, sometimes, like say if you
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  are like, say, the divorce situation and whatnot, and you
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  they're avoiding handling it, talking, talking to the kids or
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  whatever, telling people about it.
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  You might have to take the necessary steps in the right
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  direction because they might not ever want to do it.
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  Because again, they feel like if they avoid it, then it might not
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  really happen. If I avoid talking about it, if
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  I avoid dealing with it, if I avoid bringing it into the real
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  life, then it might not happen. If it doesn't happen, then I'm
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  good to go. You know, if I can avoid it to
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  the end of the earth, then I'll be good to go, so to speak.
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  That happens so much with toxic, narcissistic people in these
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  relationships. They avoid it, ignore it.
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  They can Stonewall you. They'll Stonewall you.
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  Just like if you try to talk about it like at night time,
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  they'll just, like, let's talk about it tomorrow night, right
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  before we go to bed. They'll hop in the bed and speed
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  sleep. You ever seen somebody speed
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  sleep? They hop in the bed and they
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  just almost sleep immediately. Like, you go take a shower.
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  You go to, hey, I'm going to go brush my teeth.
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  When I come back, we're going to have that conversation.
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  OK. All right.
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  They sleep with hell. When you get back, you go in
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  there to use the bathroom. I got to pee real quick.
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  I'll be right back. We'll have the conversation.
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  OK? Speed sleepers.
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  You mean to avoid the issue? Or we'll just have the
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  conversation in the morning, Then they get up and leave in
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  the morning early. They come home later.
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  Like this. Just avoid, like, narcissistic
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  people, avoid handling, handling the conflict.
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  Because you know what I mean? They feel like if I avoid it
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  then it doesn't happen then I won't get held accountable.
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  You know what I mean? That what happens right there.
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  Really really really that's really what happens.
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  Y'all. So those are the main two ways
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  right here. Bonus way bonus.
• 10:21
  If you stay this long you get a bonus way power narcissist
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  handle conflict too. So thank Y'all for making it to
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  the end. Just like look, if you made it
• 10:27
  this far, just type the word bonus in the conversation.
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  I appreciate it. Y'all it's like bonus because
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  like another way they can do it. Y'all they'll just agree to
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  disagree this. Can we talk about this That's
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  just a degree to disagree. I'm not wrong.
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  You're not wrong. You're not right.
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  I'm not right. You know, unless they agree to
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  disagree or they'll just ram the whatever decision that they
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  make, they'll just ram that down your throat.
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  You mean they'll just whatever decision that whatever decision
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  benefits them the most, they'll just go with that because
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  they'll call you a bluff. Like what are you going to do?
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  Leave. Yeah, I cheated on you.
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  What are you going to do? Leave.
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  I don't want to talk about it. I'm not going to angry at you.
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  What are you going to do? Leave.
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  I make all the money. I pay all the bills.
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  You're you're like we we live in a whole different country.
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  You you have any friends or family around here?
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  What are you going to do? You going to leave me?
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  Do you understand? Some of them will just just
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  force through whatever works for them.
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  You know what I mean? Shout out.
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  Shout out to all my bonus folks, bonus folks, my bonus folks as
• 11:22
  well. Have you made it this far?
• 11:23
  That means you like you're a mental hunters rock star.
• 11:25
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• 12:01
  Y'all thank y'all so much for the support.
• 12:02
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• 12:05
  to hell. This is out peace.
• 12:07
  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
• 12:09
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• 12:26
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
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