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What's the most important thing to a narcissist? · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on beautiful people?
• 0:02
  Welcome to another episode of the Narcissist Code.
• 0:04
  I'm your favorite. Your favorite selfaware
• 0:06
  narcissist Mr. Lee Hammett better known as mental illness
• 0:09
  across all social media platforms.
• 0:11
  This is the first time seeing my face or hearing my voice.
• 0:13
  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist that needs my
• 0:16
  platform on social media to raise awareness for NPD, get
• 0:18
  more people into therapy or invalidate the victim.
• 0:21
  Survivors and thrivers of said disorder said toxic people said
• 0:24
  toxic traits. Today's episode is going to be
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  about what is the most important thing to a narcissist.
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  To some narcissist. I can't speak for all
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  narcissists what is the most important thing to most
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  narcissistic people. But yeah, before we hop in
• 0:38
  today's episode, yeah, make sure you check out the self love
• 0:40
  brand right here. Y'all this right here is the
• 0:43
  capable I love me. This is my symbol sentence for I
• 0:45
  love me, I'm capable. Self Love brand is available in
• 0:48
  the link in the description in the bio.
• 0:51
  And they put my mic back on. Y'all got to bear with me, Bear
• 0:55
  with me. Yeah, but yeah, so, so, so yeah,
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  what is the most important thing for narcissist?
• 1:00
  Before we hop in today, but before we hop into a y'all, I
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  want y'all to put your answer in the comment section right now.
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  What is? What do you think the most
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  important thing to a narcissist is?
• 1:10
  Your your perspective? I'm going to give, I'm going to
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  give you mine to put yours in the conversation.
• 1:14
  You can pause it right now or you can just keep listening, you
• 1:17
  know what I mean? And just put it in the
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  conversation. I'm just curious to what people
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  think. You know, before I say it, I
• 1:22
  want to know what you think it is.
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  I want to know what you think it is.
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  You see what I'm saying? See we see see if we have a mind
• 1:27
  meld going on, see if we mind meld it and whatnot.
• 1:31
  But yeah, so to me as a narcissist diagnosed, the most
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  important thing for a lot of narcissists is their reputation
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  and or how they are viewed. How did you do, how how did you
• 1:44
  do in your pop quiz. I need to look.
• 1:45
  Turn in your pop. Look turn in your pop quiz right
• 1:48
  now. Great.
• 1:49
  Look. Grade the comment above and
• 1:51
  below you a BCDEF Yeah E got E's.
• 1:59
  That's how you've been back in school.
• 2:01
  These are pass the test to your classmate.
• 2:03
  Like go grade each other's tests.
• 2:04
  You pass the test to your classmate knowing you failed.
• 2:07
  That's how I feel about our job. But yeah, reputation is the most
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  important thing to a narcissistic person, to a lot of
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  narcissist jobs. Seriously, how they are viewed
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  by other people. Is is so extremely important to
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  narcissist. It's crazy how to I talked to so
• 2:26
  many people that are getting treated horribly by narcissist,
• 2:30
  right? Y'all know I still do my one O 1
• 2:32
  coaching over zoom. The link is in the description
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  for every every video of that. I still do my One O 1 coaching
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  over zoom like there's so many people that I talk to that the
• 2:42
  narcissist is treating horribly. That lies to everybody else.
• 2:46
  How they're about how they're treating them like the
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  narcissist projects outward, outwardly this image of being a
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  great person. This image of being a good
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  person, this image of being a savior and or a hero type
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  person. The image of being the perfect
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  mother or father or father, father figure, sibling, whatever
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  role they play. They project that image out into
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  the world. But behind the scenes they're
• 3:07
  treating these these people horribly, you know, because they
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  are worried about how they are viewed because it's kind of like
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  the narcissist is like a I'm going to say what's an animal,
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  what's an animal? A turtle, Little narcissistic
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  turtle right here. Y'all the narcissist is kind of
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  like a turtle, right? And the shell is like the
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  reputation, like you know, the shell protects what's underneath
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  the shell, the turtle's bodies underneath the shell.
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  I know there's a lot of turtle shells.
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  I think they are actually connected to the turtle, but the
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  shell protects the body, right? So the the the narcissist
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  reputation is the shell. So we're whatever, we're
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  protecting what's inside of us. We're protecting our ego.
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  That shell is protecting our ego.
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  That shell is guard. That shell is help protecting
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  protect us and guard against shame.
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  So that shell is protecting us. So we we need to protect that.
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  We need this shell to be as hard and as strong as possible.
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  So a lot of nurses focus so hard on building these damn near
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  airtight reputations that if like so nothing can get in and
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  nothing gets out. It's kind of like, you know, one
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  way in, one way out. It's not like one way St. you
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  know, they take so much time to build up these reputations that
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  it sometimes you know you can't, you can't get through it.
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  Sometimes they build these reputations up so, so thick you
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  can't bust through it. Like nobody can bust through
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  these reputations because they're so thick.
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  The shell is so strong you can't do it, you know?
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  And I talk to him. I talk to so many people y'all
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  that are affected by this. Like why can't I?
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  I literally just got a question in my inbox on Instagram that
• 4:41
  that that inspired this video. Somebody says, like Lee, why can
• 4:46
  you ask this question? Like, why is why is it they they
• 4:49
  care so much about how they're viewed by other people.
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  You know what I mean? They care so much about, you
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  know, why don't they just be honest about how they treating
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  people? Why?
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  Why would they? Y'all, it's a very rarity for
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  narcissists to be honest about to the outside world about how
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  they're treating people in their personal life because that would
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  damage the reputation. That's like the narcissists take
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  like if it's a if it's a little narcissistic turtle.
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  That's like that narcissist, somebody giving that narcissist
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  a hammer and they and they they crack their own shells.
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  Like, you know what, to hell with this shell.
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  Let me crack this, let me crack my little narcissist turtle
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  shell crack crack. You know what I mean?
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  They crack their own shells. They're not going to do that.
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  Y'all that exposes too much to them.
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  That exposes them to too much backlash, too much shame, too
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  much aggression, too much anger, too much.
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  It exposes them to so much. You know it is.
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  It exposes them to so much. And that's just the way it goes.
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  I say I tell this to people all the time.
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  Y'all they're like it's them. They're like breathing.
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  We they. The reputation is like a breath
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  to us. Food narcissists have this,
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  this, this the needs of a narcissistic person.
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  Y'all food shelter, a good reputation for most narcissists.
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  Some narcissists don't care about their reputation.
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  Y'all. Some people don't care how they
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  view. But I say I can't speak for all
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  nurses, but a lot of them, their reputation is damn near like
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  it's just the most important. It's like the sun.
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  I need this. You know how the the sun, your
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  your your sun had all these nutrients and stuff like that
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  for you to heal. You know, the sun empowers them.
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  That's like with the reputation and the reputation of the sun
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  and the sky. They feed from it.
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  As long as I'm viewed as a good person because like this a
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  number, it's a numbers game. Y'all it's a numbers game to
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  most narcissist. It's like if more people like me
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  then not like me, then the numbers are in my favor, aren't
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  they? Be ready.
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  Keep it hot with me. Be real with me.
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  If more people like me, then don't like me.
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  That's a problem that that seems to shift in my in the the the
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  power, the direction, the power of my direction, right?
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  And I can use that against you. Because if my reputation is
• 6:51
  viewed by so is good by so many other people, and you are the
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  only one who don't like me, you seem to say if I have 100 people
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  in my life, 99 of them like me and you don't.
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  The numbers are the odds are in my favor.
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  I just like, look, it's kind of weird that everybody else likes
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  me except for you. Everybody out here in the world
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  loves me. They care about me.
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  They cherish me. They value me except for you and
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  see. You see.
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  Do you not see the problem? Do you not see how you are the
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  problem? Everybody else likes me except
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  for you. So you must be the problem.
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  You see that? Just that's that's what we call
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  narcissistic calculus right here.
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  You know three X + 1 = 6. What is X equal?
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  X equals what is X = 3? X plus oh man three X + 1 = 6.
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  Oh that's not even the whole number is it?
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  I messed up y'all. I messed it up.
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  Dang it. Three X + 1 = 7.
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  That makes it easier, doesn't it?
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  Because X is equal 2. Because X does equal whole
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  number if three X + 1 = 6 unless X is a fraction.
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  But whenever I'm going through, y'all know I'm I got a degree
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  Y'all. If y'all don't know, I do have a
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  degree in industrial engineering from North Carolina.
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  Agricultural and technical State University.
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  NCANT. I'm good at math.
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  I can add a subtract. You know what I mean?
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  I can add a subtract a little bit.
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  But yeah, it's just the numbers game.
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  Y'all think about it though. But but but doesn't but you.
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  But you see how it makes sense to narcissists, right?
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  Y'all. I'm not trying to like a lot of
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  people want to get inside the mind of a narcissist.
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  Here. Here's the direct, here's the
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  here's a direct. Look into the turtle shell, The
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  narcissist turtle shell right here.
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  Well, not into the narcissist turtle shell, but this is my
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  mind. The shell is exposed.
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  My mind, my head is out. The mother.
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  This is me sticking my head out, My narcissistic turtle shell.
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  To give you a look inside of my mind.
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  It's a simple numbers game though, isn't it?
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  So doesn't it make sense? That doesn't.
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  Wouldn't it make sense to you how it makes sense to that
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  narcissist? Right.
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  Because if 99 people like me and you don't, then you must be the
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  problem. So you can see how I can
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  convince. I can take those numbers of
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  people who like me versus people who don't like me, and I can
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  convince myself that I'm not the problem you are.
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  That's my reputation is so important.
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  Y'all. Not only do I look good to the
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  public eye and the public eye, I have not the problem.
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  You are. Everybody else likes me except
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  for you. But here's the kicker here,
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  this. I'm not telling you to say this
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  back to the narcissistic person. I'm not telling you to say this.
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  But here's the kicker. Everybody else gets treated
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  differently too, though, doesn't they?
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  Don't they? But if you tell that nurses,
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  this person, you treat everybody else differently than you treat
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  me. They're going to tell you.
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  They treat you the way you deserve to be treated because
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  you're not one of the 99%. You see what I'm saying?
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  They're going to. Yeah, they're going to flip it
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  on you. There's a lot of times it's
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  pointless for you to argue with the narcissist unless you got
• 9:26
  three hours, You got 5 minutes. Cool.
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  Believe you three. You.
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  It's going to take a long time because the narcissist is the
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  person that the nurses has to feel like they're winning.
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  You know what I'm saying? They have to feel like they're
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  winning, You know? They have to.
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  They have to. They really have to.
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  And that's one of the biggest issues of.
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  So I thought I'd hear something else.
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  All right. There's one of the biggest
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  issues a lot of people face. They have to, they have to
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  justify, they have to feel good about themselves.
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  They have to, they have to. It's like oxygen.
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  It's like air. I have to have a good reputation
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  because their reputation helps me validate myself.
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  That's why the reputation is so important in ours.
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  Because the reputation helps validate myself.
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  It helps validate my actions. It helps validate my existence.
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  It helps validate my work. It helps me fight back the
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  shame. It helps me fight back all this
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  stuff. So what's the most important and
• 10:20
  why is it the most important? If you answer differently, I'm
• 10:22
  going to look at the comments. If you answer differently to
• 10:24
  what the most important thing is, I can do a video next, too.
• 10:27
  Because what you probably put in the conversation probably is
• 10:30
  important to Narcisse. I can do another video.
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  I'm not saying that y'all are wrong.
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  I'm just saying this is my perspective.
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  You are. You are entitled to your own.
• 10:35
  You mean you can disagree with me?
• 10:37
  Lady, Just you're wrong. Cool.
• 10:39
  You can disagree with me all you want to.
• 10:41
  Y'all I'm. I'm fine.
• 10:42
  Yeah, I am completely fine with being disagree with.
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  I'm just. I just don't do the disrespect
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  very well. You know what I mean?
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  You can disagree with me all you want to.
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  I just don't take that disrespect very well.
• 10:53
  Chef's kiss. But anyways, anyways, y'all
• 10:56
  Thank y'all so much for tuning in.
• 10:57
  I'm so eternally grateful for every single one of y'all.
• 11:00
  As much as y'all learn from me, I promise you I'll learn even
• 11:02
  more from y'all. But yeah, if you haven't
• 11:05
  already, check out the Self Love Journal.
• 11:06
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• 11:09
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• 11:11
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• 11:12
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• 11:14
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• 11:17
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• 11:19
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