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How narcissists coerce you into doing whatever they want · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  So let's talk about narcissist and coercion.
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  How narcissistic people coerce you into doing what they want
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  you to do if you're new here. My name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. So welcome back.
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  Y'all. Welcome back.
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  Welcome back. Welcome back.
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  Yes, narcissistic people and coercion, How they coerce you
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  into doing things that they want you to do.
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  Y'all. You know, if you don't know what
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  coercion is, it's a noun, the practice of persuading someone
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  to do something by using force or threats.
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  It's not always. Yeah, yeah, it's not always
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  physical force and threats of physical things.
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  Y'all. Narcissistic people can coerce
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  you into doing things in a lot of different ways.
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  Let's be re realistic. They can coerce you into giving
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  them your body for some, some, you know, just taking your body
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  and whatnot. It's like by threatening you to,
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  by threatening to remove the finances.
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  Like, if they're in control of the finances, right, They expect
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  to be in control of you. So if you're not doing your
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  duties as a spouse or whatever, they can threaten to remove the
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  finances. That's coercion, You know,
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  that's persuasion by force or threats, you know, And a lot of
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  narcissistic people manipulate other people into doing this
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  type of stuff by by by, by persuasion, through threats or
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  force, You know a lot. And this, and this is the
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  craziest thing about narcissistic people.
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  They could, like a lot of us, could do so much good in the
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  world like you don't have, Like if they could realize that you
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  don't have to, like, use force or intimidation or threats to
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  get people to do what you want them to do, life would be so
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  much better, right? It would be so much better.
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  But then they wouldn't be narcissistic people, would they?
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  They wouldn't be toxic people, would they?
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  You know, I have narcissistic personality disorder and it took
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  me a while to understand that you don't, you don't have to
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  coerce people. You can just talk to them.
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  And if they don't want to do it, you can respect their
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  boundaries. But sometimes when you get a
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  narcissist, narcissist don't like boundaries.
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  So coercion is kind of a way of life, right?
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  Coercion is a kind of way of life to to to to survive.
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  You know, they had like as as children.
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  A lot of times the narcissistic person had to learn how to
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  survive by coercing people, by persuading people through
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  threats and force. But it's not always physical
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  stuff. Y'all, I'm just telling you they
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  will. Like they can coerce you by like
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  as a as a kid growing up. They learn coercion through like
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  if they have a sibling or someone they like coercing, like
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  blackmail, they can blackmail A sibling.
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  I'm going to tell if you don't give me your dessert or your
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  extra snack. I'm going to tell mom that you
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  actually broke the window and not a a bird didn't fly through
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  it. I'm going to tell dad that you
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  actually stole that from that you stole that from school.
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  They're going to they'll threaten to tell you that's
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  coercion as well. They're persuading you through
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  threats or force. You know like I say it's not
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  physical stuff. It's it can be emotional.
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  Yeah. Emotional manipulation works as
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  well. You know this like I was talking
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  about earlier about the bedroom stuff, the SES 3X, you know I
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  was talking about earlier about that they don't have.
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  It doesn't always have to be physical.
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  I'm I'm going to beat your ass if you don't give me give me the
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  cheeks. They don't have to do that
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  again. They can threaten.
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  I'm not going to pay the bills. Hope you have fun paying the
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  bills. This month, this, this month.
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  You haven't worked in five years.
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  Hope you have fun getting a job to pay the bills because you
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  don't want to sleep with me. I'm not going to pay the bills.
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  You see what I'm saying now? That now you feel like you you
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  coerced or persuaded because you don't feel like you have
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  anywhere to live, because you ought to move across the
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  country. You don't have any friends Now
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  you you see, you see. Or they can't threaten to do
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  physical harm to you. Like I said, they can't threaten
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  to put their hands on you if you don't give it up.
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  They can't threaten to put their hands on you if you if you tell
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  somebody something about them to expose them.
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  It's not always, like I said, physical in the bedroom type of
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  stuff. Like if you want to expose them,
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  they can threaten to harm you. They can threaten to stop paying
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  the bills. They can threaten to do whatever
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  you mean they can. They can threaten like that.
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  You know, that's how they can coerce you right there.
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  You know, they can do that as well.
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  It's just a wild mindset because, like, that's the that's
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  the way that narcissists. A lot of narcissists know how to
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  live. A lot of narcissists do not know
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  how to live without being coercive.
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  You know, they don't know how to live without being manipulative.
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  They're just a way of life. This is a survival technique,
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  and this is not me trying to make excuses.
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  This is just saying, like, this is how we survived growing up.
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  We had to learn how to be persuasive with our words and
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  whatnot. Because if we have, if we if we
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  were created in a if a narcissist was created in a
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  toxic household with toxic parents, then we had to learn
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  how to be persuasive, to survive, you know?
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  We had to learn how to coerce our parents into doing things,
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  or to coerce our parents and persuade our parents to not do
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  something. Without words, you know, or
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  without actions, or with our emotions, you can use your
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  emotions to coerce people you know.
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  You can use your emotions to chorus people.
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  I'm going to start crying right now.
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  I'm going to start crying. I'm going to cry right now.
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  If you don't do what I want you to do, you see what I'm saying?
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  You see, I'm going to start crying out loud.
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  And people, I'm going to embarrass you in public.
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  I'm going to tell everybody what's going on.
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  That's coercion as well. Y'all I'm going to, I'm going to
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  tell people, I'm going to make lies of the smear campaign.
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  The smear campaign can be coercive.
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  Think about it. If a narcissistic person is
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  threatening to spread rumors and lies about you, if you don't do
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  what they don't do what they want you to do, then that's how
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  to get you right there. That's coercion as well.
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  The smear campaign is coercive in nature.
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  It's threats. It's, you know, it's threats.
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  It's force by force. You know they'll do that type of
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  stuff as well. Y'all you know, that's that's
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  coercive. The smear campaign is coercive.
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  Narcissistic rage can be coercive.
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  If you don't give me what I want right now, I'm going to lose my
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  damn mind. Raw fear, fear, threats.
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  You see how that works right there?
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  It is a wild mindset, a wild dynamic, you know, And another
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  back to the bedroom stuff. If you don't, they can coerce
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  you into giving them the cheeks or giving them whatever by
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  threatening to go get it from somebody else.
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  If you don't perform for me, I'm going to go get it from someone
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  else. Your brother looks mighty
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  handsome in that suit today. Your boss.
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  I caught them looking at my cheeks the other day.
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  I caught them. I caught your boss looking at my
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  looking down my shirt the other day.
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  Maybe I can make a move on them if you don't give me what I
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  want. You see how that works right
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  there? This is not just like.
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  I don't know. People just, like, want me and
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  me. Course.
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  And women can. Yeah, women can use their bodies
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  to be coarsive as well. I just feel like that this
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  happens. That happens too.
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  They can threaten to take, take take the cheeks elsewhere.
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  You know, they can. They can take, they can threaten
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  to relocate the cheeks elsewhere.
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  That's somebody else's bedroom. If you don't give it to me, I'm
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  going to leave this to somebody else.
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  Or or or they can use sex as a weapon.
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  It can be weaponized. They can weaponize their body
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  like a little a little missile. You know, men and women and
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  everybody, you know, whatever pronoun you identified, they can
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  use that. They can use that as coercion.
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  I'm going to get, I'll give you this if you do this for me.
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  Persuasion, y'all, y'all. See how it works right there.
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  A lot of narcissistic people operate in this way because it's
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  controlling. It's a protect.
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  It's a defense mechanism. First of all.
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  That's why that's how you get a lot of narcissistic people who
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  do this. It's a defense mechanism.
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  Defense mechanism. Because so many people ask me
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  how are all narcissists? How do how do so many
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  narcissists behave in the exact same way?
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  I'm going to do a longer video on this, but in short, it's
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  survival. There's, you know, there's a lot
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  of different ways to survive, but this is survival.
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  There's only, there's so many ways to survive.
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  But a lot of times the simplest way is straightforward, you
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  know, straightforward, straightforward.
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  You know, it's just like, oh, I need to lie right now.
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  I need what is the best lie I can tell right now?
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  What's the best way I can manipulate myself out of this
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  situation right now? That's why so many narcissists
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  behave the same way, because they're all trying to survive,
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  not not physically survive. Y'all emotionally survive.
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  Mentally survive. It's not physical.
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  I mean, sometimes I can be physical, but like, it's an
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  emotional and mental survival as well, you know?
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  Because that happens too. But I tell a lot.
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  I tell this to people all the time.
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  Like, if you're dealing with a narcissistic person, a lot of
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  time, just watch for the course of nature of them.
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  Y'all, just watch out for it. Again, the smear campaign is
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  coercive. Narcissistic rage is coercive.
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  A lot of the popular terms you hear is coercive.
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  Like, they can. Gaslighting can be a fault.
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  Now can gaslighting be coercive? I don't know.
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  Making you question your reality can.
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  Let me look at the definition of coercion again, because can
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  gaslighting be coercive? The practice of the practice of
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  persuading someone to do something by using force or
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  threats. Emotional force.
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  Gas lighting can be emotional force can.
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  So can gas lighting be coercive in nature as well?
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  Because you can gaslight somebody, persuade into you can
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  gaslight someone and persuade them into doing something that's
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  against their best interest by making a question of reality.
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  So gas lighting can be coercive. I could be wrong.
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  Like, y'all disagree with me. You know, I'm open to disagree
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  with this conversation. Y'all know I am.
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  You know I am. I'm just like, keep it
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  respectful. We can be respectful.
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  Yeah, we can disagree and be respectful.
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  That's all it takes. Just be disrespect.
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  Just be respect. You don't have to disagree.
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  Like no, hell no. You're an idiot.
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  Like y'all go straight to disrespect.
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  Damn damn. That's coercive.
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  Y'all course trying to coerce me to be nice, but that's how it
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  goes though. Y'all.
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  So just watch out for the narcissistic person in your life
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  being coercive towards you. Because it's like it's it's is
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  it This how they use their their leverage against you.
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  They they they threw threats and forced whatever leverage that
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  they have over you or whatever control they feel like they have
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  over you. They will threaten to remove it
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  in order to get you to do what they want you to do or they will
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  threaten to apply some harm and physical force like you do get
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  the violent narcissistic people that will put their hands on
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  you. Some of them will absolutely put
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  their hands on you to coerce you into doing things.
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  They will domestic, They will get domestic violence, See on
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  you. They will put their hands on you
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  and harm you in a physical way to get you to do what they want
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  you to do. Y'all know that's that's another
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  truth right there. They will absolutely put their
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  hands on you in order to get you to do what they want you to do.
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  And that sucks because it shouldn't.
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  Again, y'all. I understand that.
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  It shouldn't be their way. I am a I'm a huge, I'm a huge
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  person. I'm a person that's, I'm going
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  to be real with you and just say, hey, look, this is how it
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  goes, this is how they're going to do.
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  So watch out whatever leverage that they have on you, just be
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  prepared. Like find ways to take, take
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  find ways. You have to find a way to take
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  back control of your situation. You know what I mean?
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  If they have financial control over you, you find a way to get
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  increase your finances. I mean, I know, like, I know the
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  way I talk about it on here, it makes it seem like it's easy.
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  Well, Lee, we could go get an imaginary job.
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  No, I know, I know. It's not that easy though.
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  Some people haven't worked in a long time.
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  You know, that's how they set you up.
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  You might have had a great career and they're like, hey,
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  you know what, stay home with the kids.
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  I got it, I got it. But now you haven't worked in 10
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  years, so it'd be harder for you to get a job, you know, unless
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  you start a business. But how you start a business
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  with no money if they if they have control over all the money.
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  You see how that works. But today we start taking back
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  our power. I appreciate every single one of
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  y'all. Make sure you like and subscribe
• 11:29
  for more. And of course, of course, of
• 11:30
  course. But then this is our peace.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  You are a mental illness Rockstar and I appreciate you
• 11:37
  for being here. If you haven't already, make
• 11:39
  sure to click on the screen to subscribe to the channel and
• 11:42
  watch another one of my videos on my playlist.
• 11:44
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• 11:47
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• 11:49
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• 11:51
  Thank you. I will see you in the next
• 11:53
  video. Peace.