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Connected From Stuck To Thriving In The Middle Of Chaos From Caroline Barney · Arroe Collins Like It's Live

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  Speaker 1: There's a little party in the box that we've created
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  Speaker 1: called Arrow.net, A-R-R-O-E.net, 21 different podcasts. Yeah, not just one.
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  Speaker 1: This is a total network of every place that you
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  Speaker 1: are or could be, from musicians to sports superstars, professional wrestlers,
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  Speaker 1: all the way up to what? Whatever you think that
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  Speaker 1: you want to listen to today. It's all about just entertainment. Arrow.net, A-R-R-O-E.net.
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  Speaker 1: Enjoy your exploration. Hello and good morning, everybody.
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  Speaker 2: Hello, good morning.
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  Speaker 1: Listen to your energy, Caroline. How have you been?
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  Speaker 2: I am great.
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  Speaker 1: How about you? Absolutely fantastic. You ready to talk about
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  Speaker 1: what it's like to unstick your stuck life?
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  Speaker 2: I would love to talk about that. And also, that's
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  Speaker 2: an amazing sentence, to unstick your stuck.
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  Speaker 1: You know, what's really interesting is that in learning from
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  Speaker 1: your pages, I kept telling myself she's been through this.
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  Speaker 1: She knows exactly what she's writing about because she's experienced it.
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  Speaker 1: How close am I to the truth on that?
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  Speaker 2: Oh, very close. Very close. There were so many times
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  Speaker 2: in my life and in particular, a couple of key
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  Speaker 2: moments where I found myself so stuck that I could
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  Speaker 2: sort of see myself on the other side of the room,
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  Speaker 2: if you know what I mean, and think to myself.
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  Speaker 2: I want her back. I really liked her. I liked
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  Speaker 2: her energy. I liked what we did, but I found
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  Speaker 2: myself so disconnected from the things that really mattered and
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  Speaker 2: for the things that I knew I was capable of
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  Speaker 2: doing that I had to find a way back to myself.
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  Speaker 1: What did you do in order to do that? Because
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  Speaker 1: I mean, as a radio personality, those of us who
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  Speaker 1: have fake radio names, I had to actually start going
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  Speaker 1: back to my real name to rediscover who that dude was. Oh,
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  Speaker 1: I love that.
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  Speaker 2: I think that's so true because I think a huge
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  Speaker 2: part of Becoming unstuck is really reconnecting to who you
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  Speaker 2: actually are, your real authentic self, the self that is
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  Speaker 2: more than the things that have happened to you in
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  Speaker 2: your past, the self that is truly connected to your
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  Speaker 2: own belonging and worthiness and skills and talents. deeply within yourself,
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  Speaker 2: not just sort of the glowed up, the shined up
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  Speaker 2: version we try and put out there in the world.
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  Speaker 2: So when you say that, that really resonates with me
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  Speaker 2: because we can sort of put on this facade, we
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  Speaker 2: take on these labels. And in the process of doing that,
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  Speaker 2: I think we lose ourselves. And I think it becomes...
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  Speaker 2: It's very difficult to move forward with the energy we
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  Speaker 2: need to make the change and the difference we want
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  Speaker 2: in our lives and our worlds if we don't know
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  Speaker 2: who we actually are anymore.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I'm very guilty of telling people you just met
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  Speaker 1: the greatest actor you'll ever meet in your life. And
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  Speaker 1: they don't get that, but oh, I do.
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  Speaker 2: Oh, I do. Yes. Yes. No doubt about it. Right.
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  Speaker 2: And I think we're all getting even better at that
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  Speaker 2: day by day with social media. Right. Like we are
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  Speaker 2: filtering ourselves. We are pretending to be the things we
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  Speaker 2: think other people want us to be versus getting deeply
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  Speaker 2: in touch with who we are and how we were
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  Speaker 2: uniquely made to use our gifts to, you know, cream
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  Speaker 2: our careers, rise up families, change communities, whatever it might be.
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  Speaker 1: You know, one of the things that you really do
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  Speaker 1: cover here, you talk about it in your mid-year reset,
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  Speaker 1: and it's also about connectedness. And I've always believed that
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  Speaker 1: shouldn't we be living by that old elementary school song,
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  Speaker 1: make new friends but keep the old, one is silver
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  Speaker 1: and the other is gold, that we need to be
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  Speaker 1: constantly connecting to people.
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  Speaker 2: Absolutely. I think we are becoming increasingly lonely and disconnected
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  Speaker 2: from one another and we are seeing it's pervasive, right?
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  Speaker 2: And when we do that, we are not giving ourselves
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  Speaker 2: the people in our lives that can fill us up
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  Speaker 2: and build us up. So if we want to actually
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  Speaker 2: be resilient in our lives, to feel real joy in
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  Speaker 2: our lives, to accomplish the things we want in our careers,
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  Speaker 2: in our lives, we've got to double down on building
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  Speaker 2: up relationships that are the real deal.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I encourage people. And I mean, then again, you know,
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  Speaker 1: somebody's going to think I'm crazy here. But just to
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  Speaker 1: be with people because being in radio for 47 years,
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  Speaker 1: you don't see people. You see what's inside your imagination.
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  Speaker 1: So I took up a job at a grocery store
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  Speaker 1: because I wanted to be with real people and know
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  Speaker 1: who my community is without having to run for public office.
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  Speaker 2: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, I love this.
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  Speaker 2: And I think this is so true. One of the
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  Speaker 2: challenges I give to people that I coach or people
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  Speaker 2: that I'm out and about in town with the groups
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  Speaker 2: that I run is to make sure that you are
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  Speaker 2: making eye contact with everyone you come in contact with. Yes.
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  Speaker 2: It's such a basic thing. So you talk about that.
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  Speaker 2: You're working in this grocery store. The person on the
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  Speaker 2: other side of you is a real person you can
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  Speaker 2: connect with in that moment. And you don't know what
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  Speaker 2: you're going to say or do that will change their
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  Speaker 2: life or yours. That connection, that's a moment that is
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  Speaker 2: a gift. And we've lost track of how to do that.
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  Speaker 2: And I think we're getting ourselves even more stuck in that,
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  Speaker 2: not allowing ourselves to see each other as we really are.
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  Speaker 1: Please don't move. We'll be right back with Caroline Barney.
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  Speaker 1: The name of her book, Connected, From Stuck to Thriving
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  Speaker 1: in the Middle of Chaos. Thank you so much for
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  Speaker 1: coming back to the conversation. If you are stuck in
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  Speaker 1: the middle of a bunch of chaos, then maybe you
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  Speaker 1: need to get this book connected. We are back with
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  Speaker 1: Caroline Barney. I enjoy like when the parents will bring
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  Speaker 1: in their kids and their students in martial arts. Well,
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  Speaker 1: I'm a third degree black belt. So when I sit
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  Speaker 1: there and I look at the color of their belt,
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  Speaker 1: I will know exactly where they are. And they'll look
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  Speaker 1: at me and they're going, how do you know this?
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  Speaker 1: It's the connection. And I try to promote everything you're
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  Speaker 1: saying here. It is the connection. And to try to
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  Speaker 1: plant that seed. That's why this book is so valuable
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  Speaker 1: right now.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you.
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  Speaker 1: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: This is why this book just wouldn't die in my mind.
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  Speaker 1: Have you ever had an experience like that? You just
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  Speaker 1: know you got to say something, right?
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  Speaker 2: Now is the time for this book. If we were
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  Speaker 2: to actually really lean into the connections in our lives,
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  Speaker 2: I truly believe it will change everything. I think it's
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  Speaker 2: very powerful and I would love to see this spread.
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  Speaker 2: I would love to see people look at each other
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  Speaker 2: like we just talked about, build each other up, help
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  Speaker 2: each other find a way to push ourselves forward in
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  Speaker 2: a way that is dynamic and impactful.
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  Speaker 1: One of the things that I picked up from your
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  Speaker 1: book and something that fell into my heart was I
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  Speaker 1: think so many times we put our physical attention on
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  Speaker 1: the situation and not the solution. And then all of
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  Speaker 1: a sudden I come across your line here. 35% of
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  Speaker 1: us say that this year is not just stressful, but
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  Speaker 1: it's a challenging, out of control situation. And it goes
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  Speaker 1: right back to what fell in my heart. What is
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  Speaker 1: the situation? Now find the solution. You teach us this
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  Speaker 1: path to walk. Yes, that's right.
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  Speaker 2: That's right. Listen, we can all keep ourselves very stuck
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  Speaker 2: by just wallowing around in where we are. But the
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  Speaker 2: reality is when we put our eyes on where we
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  Speaker 2: want to go, there is a way to do that
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  Speaker 2: and that will happen. I know what it's like to
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  Speaker 2: be in a place where you are sort of set
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  Speaker 2: in that victim mentality. You're stuck in your past. all
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  Speaker 2: the things that's happened to you. It doesn't have to
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  Speaker 2: stay that way. Set your goals, set your intention, move
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  Speaker 2: yourself forward by building connections to what matters most. You
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  Speaker 2: get to move forward. You don't have to stay there,
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  Speaker 2: but there's intention with that. You can't just hope it
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  Speaker 2: comes along.
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  Speaker 1: Oh, my God. I hope I don't come across as
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  Speaker 1: the grumpy old man, but when I've got the pity
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  Speaker 1: party going on in front of me from somebody, I'll go, hey,
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  Speaker 1: I realize you're in a hole. I'm going to throw
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  Speaker 1: you the rope, but don't ask me to get in
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  Speaker 1: that hole with you and push your butt up because
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  Speaker 1: that ain't going to happen. Get out of it yourself.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's right. And here's the thing I think people
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  Speaker 2: need to hear, and I hope anyone listening hears this
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  Speaker 2: right now. You have what it takes to get yourself
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  Speaker 2: up and out. Yep. surround yourself by the people that
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  Speaker 2: will help you do that. But deep inside your soul,
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  Speaker 2: you know what you need to do. You've got the
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  Speaker 2: strength to do that. And you've been given the skills
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  Speaker 2: and talents to do it.
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  Speaker 1: Go for it. So why is it I never, ever
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  Speaker 1: felt like that my parents were leading a chaotic life?
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  Speaker 1: Is it just this generation? Because mom and dad never
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  Speaker 1: felt this way or even came across this way.
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  Speaker 2: Mmm. It makes you wonder, did they feel this way
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  Speaker 2: and not tell us or show it?
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  Speaker 1: Like, are we more verbal about these things now? I
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  Speaker 1: think that's partly it.
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  Speaker 2: I also think that we are living in unprecedented time.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think any of us could have known the
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  Speaker 2: impact that technology would have on our lives and specifically
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  Speaker 2: social media. The chaos that we used to experience was
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  Speaker 2: only the chaos in our zone, where we were, where
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  Speaker 2: we were living, the people we were sort of immediately
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  Speaker 2: in touch with. We are now aware of not only
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  Speaker 2: our own personal chaos, but the chaos in the world
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  Speaker 2: at large. And that is a heavy burden. And I
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  Speaker 2: think that that gets us running at a level that's
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  Speaker 2: exhausting and easy to become stuck in.
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  Speaker 1: Well, first of all, I love the idea that you
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  Speaker 1: put chaos on this because I have written for years
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  Speaker 1: about chaos. And I love the title, Connected from Stuck
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  Speaker 1: to Thriving in the Middle of Chaos. I call it
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  Speaker 1: controlled chaos, that I would rather be in the center
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  Speaker 1: of controlled chaos because at least I've got something to do.
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  Speaker 2: Yes. Isn't that true? Isn't that true? And let me
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  Speaker 2: build on that. There's always something to do.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, there is.
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  Speaker 2: I think that's the key of becoming unstuck. The minute
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  Speaker 2: we start thinking I'm stuck, there's nothing I can do.
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  Speaker 2: You're just going to stay there. But to your point,
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  Speaker 2: you can control what you can control. You have choices
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  Speaker 2: that you get to make every day. I wake up
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  Speaker 2: every day and I choose to believe that this day
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  Speaker 2: is for me and not against me. Just that alone
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  Speaker 2: changes how you enter into the day and how you
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  Speaker 2: pull yourself forward, how you pull people around you forward
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  Speaker 2: and create real meaning and difference in your life.
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  Speaker 1: Where can people go to find out more about you?
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  Speaker 1: Because 10 minutes with you is not going to be enough.
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  Speaker 1: And I want listeners to really dive into your plan
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  Speaker 1: and purpose.
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  Speaker 2: Thank you so much for that. The best place to
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  Speaker 2: get to know more about me is my website. That's carolinebarney.com.
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  Speaker 2: You can also find me on Instagram and on Substack
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  Speaker 2: where I have a weekly liftable. audio file that goes
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  Speaker 2: out to people i would love to connect with as
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  Speaker 2: many people as possible because the truth is I believe
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  Speaker 2: deeply in this message, and I believe deeply if we
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  Speaker 2: come together and lift each other up and become more
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  Speaker 2: deeply connected, we can change our world.
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  Speaker 1: I realize this is about the mid-year reset, but the
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  Speaker 1: thing is I want to talk to you again in
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  Speaker 1: January or February when everybody is finally convinced that the
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  Speaker 1: New Year's resolution isn't going to work. So I would
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  Speaker 1: love to set something back up with you so that
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  Speaker 1: we can get back in this journey.
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  Speaker 2: It would be an honor, and I would absolutely love
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  Speaker 2: to do that.
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  Speaker 1: Excellent. Well, you be brilliant today, okay?
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  Speaker 2: Thank you. You too.
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  Speaker 1: Have a great day.