Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How to Run a Career Reference Interview Script
Transcript
- Lucas: So Luna, we've spent a lot of episodes talking about how to pick the right references, but I think we've skipped over a crucial step: what actually happens after they say yes. Luna: You mean the part where you just send your resume and hope they wing it? Lucas: Exactly. Most people treat a reference like a vending machine – you put in a request and hope a glowing endorsement comes out. But the best references aren't born, they're briefed. Luna: So you're saying I should actually talk to my references before they get the call? Lucas: Yes, and I'd go further. I think you should run what I call a reference interview – a structured conversation where you give them the ammunition they need to sing your praises with specific, relevant examples. Luna: A reference interview. I love that. So what does that actually look like in practice? Lucas: Well, the first thing is to remember that your reference is doing you a favor. They're busy, they're not getting paid for this, and they probably haven't thought about your work in detail since you left. So your job is to make it effortless for them. Luna: Right, because nobody wants to give a reference that sounds like a generic LinkedIn endorsement. Lucas: Exactly. Generic is the enemy. So the first thing you do is set up a quick call – fifteen minutes, max. You can frame it as a chance to catch up and share what you're looking for. Luna: And what do you actually talk about in that call? Lucas: Start with the job you're applying for. Give them the context – what the role is, what the company does, and why you think it's a good fit. This way, they can tailor their anecdotes to the specific skills that matter for that role. Luna: So you're giving them a cheat sheet of your strengths. Lucas: Exactly. But more than that, you're giving them a story. You want them to be able to say something like, 'When Sarah led the Q3 migration, she coordinated three teams and cut downtime by forty percent.' Not just 'Sarah was great.' Luna: That's a concrete example. How do you make sure they remember those details? Lucas: You provide them. Before the call, write down two or three specific achievements or projects that are relevant to the new role. Then, during the call, walk them through each one – what the situation was, what you did, and what the outcome was. Luna: So it's like the STAR method, but for your reference. Lucas: Bingo. And you can even go a step further and ask them if they remember any other examples. Sometimes they'll have a story you forgot about, which is gold. Luna: That's a good point. So you're basically co-creating the narrative. Lucas: Exactly. And part of that narrative is also being clear about what you don't want them to say. If you had a rocky patch or a project that didn't go well, give them a heads up so they can steer clear or spin it constructively. Luna: Right, like 'Hey, I know the Acme project was a mess, but we learned a lot.' Lucas: Something like that. You're giving them the context to handle tricky questions gracefully. Luna: Now, what about the actual call with the hiring manager? Should you be on the line for that? Lucas: No, no. The reference interview is separate. You're prepping them, but you're not in the room when they talk to the hiring manager. However, you can ask your reference to give you a quick debrief after the call – just a few minutes to hear how it went and if they felt comfortable. Luna: And that debrief is useful because...? Lucas: Because it tells you what the hiring manager is focused on. If your reference says, 'They asked a lot about how you handle feedback,' you now know what the next interview might focus on. Plus, it shows your reference you're grateful and keeps the relationship warm. Luna: That makes sense. I've never thought about debriefing my references. I always just assumed they'd say yes and then I'd never hear from them again. Lucas: And that's the norm, but it's a missed opportunity. A reference is a relationship. And if you treat it like a transaction, you'll get a transactional reference. Luna: So what if you're early in your career and you don't have a ton of work examples? Can you still use this approach? Lucas: Absolutely. You can use examples from internships, volunteering, or even a tough group project in school. The key is to pick examples that demonstrate the skills the job requires – like teamwork, problem-solving, or meeting deadlines. Luna: And what if your reference is a former boss who hasn't seen your work in a while? How do you refresh their memory? Lucas: That's a great question. You can send them a short summary of the projects you worked on together, maybe even a couple of specific metrics. But don't just email a list – have a call to walk them through it. That personal touch makes a huge difference. Luna: I also imagine you want to give them an easy out. Like, tell them 'It's totally fine if you don't feel comfortable, no hard feelings.' Lucas: Yes, that's crucial. You never want to pressure someone. If they hesitate, that's a red flag. Better to pick someone else who's genuinely enthusiastic. Luna: And let's be real – a lukewarm reference is worse than no reference at all. Lucas: Exactly. So the reference interview is also a diagnostic – it gives you a chance to gauge their willingness and their ability to speak to your strengths. Luna: You know, I have to say, this is the kind of practical advice that makes me think about the people who listen to this show every day. And you know what, if you're getting value from these episodes, a couple of dollars a month is genuinely what keeps these going – buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo, if you've gotten something out of them. Lucas: That's right, it's a small way to keep the podcast ad-free and sustainable. And we really appreciate every bit of support. Luna: Okay, back to the reference interview. So we've covered the pre-call and the debrief. Is there anything else we should think about? Lucas: One more thing – timing. You don't want to spring this on someone the week before a final interview. Give them at least two weeks' notice, and make sure you've had the reference interview before you even submit their name. Luna: So when should you actually ask someone to be a reference? Before you even start applying? Lucas: Ideally, yes. That way you can have the reference interview early, and they're ready to go when a job comes up. It's like having a pre-approved credit line – you're pre-approved in their mind. Luna: That's a great analogy. So let's quickly recap: you pick a reference, you have a structured call to brief them, you give them concrete examples, you handle any sensitive topics, and then you debrief after they talk to the hiring manager. Lucas: That's exactly it. And honestly, this process can take less than an hour of your time, but it can be the difference between a vague 'she was great' and a specific 'she led a team of five, cut costs by twenty percent, and turned around a struggling account.' Luna: Those are the references that actually move the needle. I'm definitely going to use this next time I'm job hunting. Lucas: And if you're not job hunting right now, this is still a good exercise. It forces you to articulate your strengths and achievements, which is never a bad thing. Luna: True. And it keeps your network warm, which is always useful. Lucas: So next time someone says 'yes' to being your reference, don't just say thanks and hang up. Schedule that reference interview. Your future self will thank you. Luna: And your reference will probably thank you too – because they'll feel more confident and prepared.