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Some narcissists will get mad if you do not get over the things they have done to you · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people?
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  Welcome to another episode of the narcissist Code.
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  I'm your favorite selfaware narcissist, Mr. Lee Hammock
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  better known as mental illness across all social media
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  platforms. This your first time seeing my
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  face or hearing my lovely voice. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and I use my platform on social media to raise
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  awareness for NPD, get more people in new therapy like
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  myself, six years strong, and also validate the victim,
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  survivors and thrivers of said disorder.
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  Said toxic trait, said toxic people.
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  Today's episode is going to be about how narcissist will get
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  mad at you. Mad at you for not forgiving
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  them. How a narcissistic person that
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  you've been dealing with can get mad at you for not forgiving
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  them. Before we hop into today's
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  episode, y'all you know I got to shout out these selflove journal
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  which is helping help a lot of people rebuild their selflove
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  and identity after it types of relationships.
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  So helped a lot of people rebuild their self love and
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  identity during a types of relationship before doing it
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  after. I'm in Charlotte, NC right now.
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  Y'all had a speaking event in Greensboro, NC.
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  So I'm in my car right now so doing a lot of stuff.
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  So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So we all know that narcissistic
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  people very rarely, if ever, offer sincere, authentic
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  apologies for anything that we they do.
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  You see what I'm saying? You will hardly, if ever, get an
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  apology from a narcissistic person.
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  And if they do apologize, it's even more rarely that it's a
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  specific, authentic apology. They'll say I'm sorry for
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  everything. I'm sorry you took it that way.
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  I'm sorry for blah, blah, blah, Boo Boo Boo BBB.
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  I'm sorry for everything. Except they they they won't
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  apologize. Specifically, they'll apologize
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  that you misinterpreted it. You know, they'll apologize that
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  you took it the wrong way, blah blah blah.
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  You understand what I'm saying, but narcissistic people expect
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  you to forgive them for everything.
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  You mean they expect you to forgive them.
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  Even if they don't apologize, they will get angry.
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  Even if, like even if they do not apologize to you, even if
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  they offer you some kind of weird whack ass meek apology,
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  they expect you to to accept. They expect you to accept it or
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  get over it and forgive and or forget it.
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  You know what I mean? Because we all know that
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  narcissistic people hate when you.
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  Live in the past. We can live, yeah, we can live
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  in the past. We can get.
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  We can get cozy and live in the past.
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  We can bring up anything and everything that you've ever done
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  to us in the past. We can use that against you.
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  We can bring that up in conversation.
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  We can bring that up in an argument.
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  We can bring it up whenever. You know what I mean?
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  We can do that whenever, wherever we want to.
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  But you can't. But narcissistic people hate it.
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  Y'all. I'm just telling you they they
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  will get angry at you for not forgiving them for not getting
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  over something that they that they have done to you.
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  You mean? You get a lot of narcissistic
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  people who do that, like hold like hold a grudge.
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  A narcissistic person will hold a grudge against you for not
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  forgiving them, for not getting past something that they've done
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  to you. Y'all because look, narcissistic
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  people like mindset wives. We we don't always think that
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  we're right. I know a lot of people think
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  like narcissists always think that they are right.
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  We don't always think that we are right.
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  Y'all, I'm going to be real with you.
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  We know that. We do some wrong stuff.
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  But we don't ever expect to be held accountable for that wrong
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  stuff. And if we do get held
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  accountable for that wrong stuff, it's just it should be
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  only for a short period of time. Because you know what?
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  I'm a victim too. In some ways, in some way, shape
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  or form. I'm also a victim of this
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  situation. I'm, I'm hurting, I need your
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  help, blah blah, blah, BBB, you know?
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  But a lot of narcissist people, we do get into the mindset,
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  y'all we think we should. We think you should get over it.
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  Because especially, yeah, especially if you take us back.
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  If you take us back for whatever we have done to you, lie, cheat,
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  whatever the narcissistic person has done to you, if you take
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  them back, they they automatically expect that you've
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  forgiven them. Even if they don't talk to you
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  about it. Even if they give you the if.
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  If a narcissist gives you the silent treatment, right.
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  If in our minds, if we give you the silent treatment and you
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  don't leave us, that's forgiveness.
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  You've forgiven us for whatever we've done.
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  If we stop talking to you, if we ignore you, and you allow us to
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  talk to you later on and pretend nothing happened, we can act
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  like nothing happened. Then nothing happened.
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  You see what I'm saying? Nothing happened.
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  And if you want to bring it up, here comes an argument.
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  And this is one way that a lot of narcissistic people will
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  condition you to not bring up stuff because you're going to
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  argue. You want to argue with me.
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  You want to fuss. You want to fight?
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  You want to argue? You do.
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  You do you. Because a lot of narcissists
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  will condition you to not even bring it up.
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  Because you're going to argue, You're going to fuss, you're
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  going to fight. If you do or if you do, bring it
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  up, get ready. You got to buckle it up.
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  You got to buckle up, buckle up your safety.
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  I'm going to, I'm going to buckle my seat belt up here in a
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  few minutes. You have to buckle up your seat
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  belt as well. In this toxic relationship
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  dynamic, in this toxic relationship space, you have to.
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  That's one of the things a lot of people don't.
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  I don't think a lot of people realize that comes with the that
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  comes with the territory of being in a type of relationship.
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  You have to buckle your safety belt and get ready to ride
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  because your ass is going to ride.
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  I'm just telling you, a lot of people, I say I'm just telling
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  you you're going to go for a ride.
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  And narcissists like, yeah, we hold angry.
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  We we don't get over stuff. We know, you know that
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  narcissists hold grudges forever.
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  I I if y'all have been following me for a long time, you know
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  that I've held a grudge against the girl that called me ugly and
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  like the 3rd or 4th grade, I was nine years old.
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  And a girl called me ugly and I was still been.
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  I'm still stuck on that y'all nine years old.
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  This is almost 30 years ago. I just turned 38 on July the
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  14th. I just turned 38 years ago and
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  I'm still holding the grudge against the girl that called me
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  ugly almost 3 decades ago. We don't get overstuffed.
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  Y'all we don't. We don't forgive.
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  We damn sure don't forget, but we expect you to do it and we
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  get angry. If you don't do either or both
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  of those things, we expect you to forgive us even if we don't
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  apologize. And we expect you to forget it.
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  Even if we don't apologize, Even if we do, I'm sorry in.
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  In my mind, if I say the words I'm sorry for everything, then
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  you should get over it. And everything.
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  It means everything. What does everything mean, Lee?
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  It means everything. Everything I've ever done to
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  you. I'm sorry for it.
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  Yo, stop it. Yeah.
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  And that's why I tell people that if you're dealing with a
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  toxic person, narcissistic person, stop accepting these
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  meek. Boo these BS apologies, because
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  the more you accept them, the more they're going to give them
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  to you and the more you don't. If they don't ever apologize, if
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  they haven't apologized to you in like if they haven't
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  apologized to you in 20 years, why are you expecting them to
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  apologize right now? You know what I mean.
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  If they haven't apologized to you in 10 years, five years, you
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  you. Why are you expecting something
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  different right now? Y'all.
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  You know? Yeah, I'm in a car.
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  I'm super sweaty right now. Y'all.
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  But so many people get caught up in this dynamic that you expect
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  that you expecting them to to change and they can make you.
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  It can make you feel like you're going crazy.
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  Y'all the I've seen the definition of insanity is doing
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  the same thing over and over again and expecting different
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  results. And a lot of times in these
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  relationships, the narcissist drives you insane.
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  They drive you crazy to the point where you think things are
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  going to change based on their words.
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  Not their actions, just their words.
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  You know what I mean? They might anybody, anybody can
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  change for a short period of time.
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  Y'all might be real with you. Anybody can change their
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  behaviors for a short period of time.
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  It's the consistent changes that make it authentic.
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  Anybody that can BS you to get you to come back into their
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  life. But it's the consistent changes
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  that make it authentic. It's the consistency of the
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  changes that make it authentic and whatnot.
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  So you have to empower yourself. Y'all.
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  If you and these types of relationships, spaces that
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  narcissistic person is going like, they don't want you that
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  they want you to get over it. Double standards exist in these
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  relationships. Y'all they absolutely people
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  keep looking at me recording. They absolutely want you to get
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  over it. Because why wouldn't I?
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  Why wouldn't I want you to get over it?
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  You know what I mean. Why would I want you to keep
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  holding this against me? Why don't?
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  Why would I want you to keep bringing the same day up over
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  and over again when you're supposed to forgive me?
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  You know what I mean? You're supposed to get over it.
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  You're supposed to love me. You don't love me.
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  I thought you love me. You know what I mean?
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  They'll make you feel. Yeah.
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  Narcissist People not only will get angry if you don't, if you
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  don't accept their apology or get over it, they will make you
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  feel guilty about it. I thought you loved me.
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  You never really cared about me. You never really loved me.
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  Because if you really loved me, you would just get over it.
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  You really. If you really loved me, you
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  would forgive me. If you really love me, you would
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  never bring this up again. I knew I did you wrong.
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  I know we both. We both made mistakes.
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  And I don't hold your mistakes against you That do.
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  Do you get me crying over here? You think just because I cheated
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  on you like I don't hurt. You don't think I hurt and seen.
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  Destined. I know how silly I saw what I
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  saw doing that. Y'all, but that's the mindset.
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  Y'all. That's the dynamic that a lot of
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  people face. We are dealing in types of
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  relationships. I talked to people one-on-one
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  over Zoom. I still do those y'all mental
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  illness.net. If you want to do a one-on-one
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  over zoom, have some group sessions and big events coming
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  up pretty soon too as well. Y'all so in the rain.
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  But yeah, I talk to people every single day and this is one thing
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  is like my narcissistic partner. Put put their hands on me and
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  they expect me to forget. First of all, I like you should
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  call the police, but I know everybody's situation is
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  different. But like they expect me to just
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  get over it and not bring it up anymore because like, my eyes
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  swole, they swole my eyes shut or broke my wrist or something
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  like that. They expect me to get over it.
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  And if I bring it up, they get angry and aggressive towards me.
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  So I I learned to not bring stuff up.
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  Because if I bring up stuff that they have done to me, they get
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  angry and hold it against me. I'm then they play the victim.
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  Then it feels they they make it feel like they are in more pain
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  than I am. Lee, what do I do?
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  I like I'm not. Listen I don't tell you how to
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  leave toxic relationships. I tell you to make I give you
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  the information that you that that I feel like is necessary
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  for you to make a conscientious decision whether or not that you
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  want to leave or what not. Because some people don't want
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  to leave. I understand that space, but
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  they all. If you don't leave, this is you
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  Go expect more of the same. Stop acting like these people
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  are going to change for you. Like one day they're going to
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  love me enough to change. Y'all love has nothing to do
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  with a narcissistic person changing.
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  But Lee did it for you. Why didn't you?
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  I love your wife. I love my wife.
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  But I didn't change for my wife. I didn't change my behaviors for
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  my wife. I didn't go to therapy for my
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  wife. She can like say she can leave
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  now. You know when I was still packed
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  myself up and go to therapy every single.
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  I got therapy again Thursday. You know I'll be in Greensboro,
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  NC, but yeah, yeah. Don't expect a sincere apology
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  from a narcissist. And if they even give you a an
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  apology of BS1, they expect you to accept it.
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  If you don't accept it, they're going to get angry.
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  They're going to condition you to feel a certain type of way
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  about it as well. Y'all.
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  But anyways, y'all, let me wrap this episode up.
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  It's starting to rain. It's getting dark now It's it's
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  if you're watching this on YouTube, it is.
• 10:32
  What time is it? It's 12:14 PM.
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  It is. The sun is going out because the
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  clouds enrolled in and the beat is in my hey much y'all like and
• 10:40
  subscribe for more. And it's always mentally illness
• 10:42
  is out. Peace.
• 10:44
  What is going on Beautiful people thank you so much for
• 10:47
  making it to the end of my video, watching it all way
• 10:49
  through. Y'all if you haven't already, go
• 10:51
  ahead, go ahead and hit that subscribe button.
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• 10:56
  whatnot and so we can help reach more people.
• 10:58
  Like I said in the beginning, these self love brand is
• 11:00
  available. I have a self love journal
• 11:03
  that's available on Amazon as well to help you rebuild their
• 11:05
  self love Lee Hammock, I love me on Amazon and whatnot.
• 11:09
  Also do one on ones over zoom and such as well.
• 11:12
  Y'all like and subscribe for award but this is out fees.