Latest / MIDDLE GROUND - Real Conversations on Faith, Identity & Becoming — Through Brynne's LDS Lens of Curiosity, Love and Doubt / Do You Have to Take the Sacrament Every Week? Reframing Worthiness, the Spirit & Sabbath Rest in LDS Faith
Transcript
- Brynne Erickson (00:29) My family is always late to church. And I actually like it that way. Has not always been that way. there has been lots of frustration in my past over being late for church. But now that I have three young children, I actually don't mind it. In fact, we were on time to sacrament meeting. Not too long ago with all three of our boys, ranging from age one to six, and to be in sacrament meeting for an entire 60 minutes was so painful. And so now we're kind of like 15 minutes late, almost more by choice. Also, my baby is doing two naps a day right now and his nap, he wakes up. when church starts, so we still have to like get him ready and then we head out. Cause there's no way I'm waking up a sleeping baby to get to church. If you wake up your baby, great. That's what you guys decided, but not us. So when babe wakes up, we head to church or sometimes my parents who have earlier church will come and hang out with him and then we'll head out once their meeting's done. But yeah, I have no problem missing a little bit. of church with small kids especially. ⁓ I love going, don't get me wrong. I would love to be there the full 60 minutes, but just our phase of life, it's actually not the worst thing to have happen. But ⁓ this is definitely more of a newer thing for me, to be okay, missing, taking the sacrament almost always. We very... irregularly are there to actually protect the sacrament. And there has been a lot of tears for me in the past. So my husband and I run on very different time schedules and I promise I'm not throwing him under the bus. ⁓ He's so awesome and wonderful and has taught me so much. And just we would end up going to church late and missing the sacrament quite often. all throughout our marriage, even before having kids. And I would get so frustrated, so frustrated because we have always put so much emphasis on the importance of taking the sacrament. And I do believe it is important. I do believe it is special. But I've had to kind of reframe what that opportunity means and can look like for us. and I like where I've come to. But in order to get there, I had to get through a lot of frustration and anger and kind of realize, okay, how can I take control of the situation? So first I did a lot of thought work. So how can I handle this? Where my husband and I run on different schedules. So I was like, okay, well I could leave. Right, we had two cars. get my car, I could head to church and be on time and he can get there when he gets there. Or I can just wait for him knowing that we're going to be late, but I can work on my mindset with that and just be like, well, at least we're going together, you know, or go and be angry and go to the bathroom and cry, which has happened a couple of times and be frustrated and angry the rest of the meeting. I just was tired of that. I was tired of having like this inner battle about getting the sacrament. And I kind of had this aha moment of surely God doesn't want me to feel this way. doesn't want me to show up to church being angry at myself, am I very upset with my spouse? About having missed this one moment, this one opportunity. That surely can't be the purpose of church or of feelings and thoughts that he would want me to have in being here. And so I was expressing my frustrations to my aunt and she was listening to me and kind of, hmm, I've never really thought of it like that before. And I'm gonna read you our sacrament prayer. So for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, we have the 16 to 18 year old young men at a table in the front of the congregation with the bread and the water that is sitting on a table with a white. tablecloth covering it and then they read this prayer aloud and then the younger boys then distribute the bread and the water to the congregation and there are two separate prayers one for the bread they give everyone the bread and then they distribute back the trays and then we have a prayer over the water well I think what's most important is this ⁓ ⁓ specific phrase about having the spirit in this prayer. I'm gonna read you the bread one. This is in the Book of Doctrine and Covenants and in section 20. And the prayer is found in verse 77. And then if you want to find the water one, it's right after it and it's in verse 78 and 79. here we go. It says, Oh God, the eternal father, we ask thee in the name of thy son, Jesus Christ, to bless and sanctify this bread to the souls of all those who partake of it. that they may eat in remembrance of the body of thy son and witness unto thee, O God, the eternal father, that they are willing to take, willing to take upon them the name of thy son and always remember him and keep his commandments which he has given them, that they may always have his spirit to be with them. Amen. And for me, in this prayer, which is a lot of words, I was solely focused on that last part. where it said that they may always have his spirit to be with them. And in my mind, I thought that in order for me to have the spirit with me throughout the week, I had to partake of the sacrament. And I know I've heard this, other people have said the same thing. perhaps that is an opportunity to become more in tune with that spirit. some new thoughts I'm going to share with you in a minute. But there are so many other beautiful things in this prayer. ⁓ Taking on the name of Christ, remembering him, standing as a witness of God, ⁓ and taking the name of Christ upon ourselves and always remembering him and keeping the commandments and then having the spirit with us. I find it interesting that we've always said like, have to take the sacrament to have the spirit. When actually for me, it's doing all of these things to have the spirit with you. It's not the act of taking the sacrament. I believe now that we always have the spirit with us. You don't ever lose it. That was always a dialogue that I was taught. Like you weren't allowed or you shouldn't be watching rated our movies. You shouldn't be listening to music with certain narratives. You shouldn't go to certain party. You shouldn't be drinking all of these things because you would lose the spirit. Well, I've heard stories of people that have spiritual moments and moments of warning or insight, even in chaotic situations, even in situations where maybe they're not making the most helpful of choices. You wanna know why? Because God loves us, no matter what we're doing. But I also do believe that it is a lot easier to hear that inner voice and those pay attention to your feelings when you are choosing it, when you are listening for it proactively and intentionally. So I don't think it's something that you lose, you always have, you just get to tune into it. You get to choose it at any moment. Be like, you know what, actually I want to live this higher way, this more... agency driven way where I am intentionally tuning in to this part of me, this spiritual powerhouse within me that already exists. And how can I do that? And for each person, it's a journey of discovery. Like how do you hear that voice? How does it speak to you? I have wondered if the spirit is just an emotion. I know for me, it's kind of the same experience. Like I feel it in my body. ⁓ It'll be words in my head or a phrase. And I just try to like, I make sense of it, right? In my own way. And I think it's an awesome and beautiful thing, but I am so grateful to have made that conclusion in my circling back to what my cute aunt said to me. She was like, maybe the sacrament prayer is meant to just be like a love letter from Jesus. Like, what if it's just a moment to sit with him? And that rings so true for me. I see everything that we believe God has given us as opportunities now, not things to... Check off our worthiness from. that makes sense. I don't think he gives us things to be like, okay, make sure you do all of this to earn this. I think they're opportunities to learn more to find more joy and peace. And if you partake of them, awesome. If you don't, that's okay, too. Like that's your choice. But I don't, I just, yeah, I just see everything as opportunities and The sacrament is actually such a beautiful opportunity and one that I do delight in partaking of. I love sitting there in quite quiet, a quite quiet moment, a meditative moment. And especially now where I am a big fan of meditation. I think that's kind of what this moment was meant to be, an opportunity. Maybe if you don't take one throughout the day to sit in quiet contemplation, which is what meditation is, and communing with a group of like-minded people. I think it is so, so beautiful. Like this collective moment where you're all in the same attitude and spirit and the youth are participating and distributing. This representation of the body of Christ to all of the people there and partaking of it together, it is just awesome. But I don't use it as a reason to shame myself anymore. And I am so grateful for that. And if you have had mixed feelings about the sacrament or have been using it as a reason to find yourself unworthy in some way, please stop doing that. Our loving heavenly parents wouldn't want that for us. So, sacrament is amazing and church, now it's funny, now that I don't think I have to go, I just love going even more. Like even I was driving today, I was just like, I just love going to church. I really do. And I know that Sundays will look different. Like we were just at a wedding in Boise and we didn't go to church that day, we went to. some parks and we drove and we stopped and we got food and it was great and I'm okay with that. I'm okay if it looks different but I also do really like going to church and I've thought about the Sabbath day and again I'm working on finding the underlying principles and all of the rules that we've stacked on top of each other. I'm peeling back those rules and trying to figure out what the underlying principle is. And I've thought a lot about the Sabbath day and I think we've had a lot of rules in the past and there's been some good advice on how you make your decisions about the Sabbath and making it more of honoring. our Heavenly Father and how would you show God that this is a day that's different, a day that's special. Yeah, I thought about the Sabbath. I'm like, technically it doesn't have to be a Sunday. That just happens to be the day that the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints holds its meetings, its Sabbath day meetings. ⁓ And we tend to have a lot of meetings on Sunday, which is interesting, which draws you away from your family. That's interesting. Went from three hours down to two hours, that's cool. In my house, you never did homework. For a long time, we wore church clothes all day long. We couldn't watch movies for a long time. You weren't allowed to go to sporting events or anything. And that was confusing because then we would go to my grandma's house and we would play like basketball. I remember thinking, so we can play basketball, grandmas, but we can't like. watch it on TV or go to a basketball game or you can't participate on a team that has games on Sundays, but we can play basketball with grandmas, right? Like there's, we all have those things and I think it's important to ask, like as a family, like we can, if you're prioritizing family time on Sundays, that can look lots of different ways. So I do find it funny that families will like, Well, we can hang out together, but we can't swim together. And if that is your role, then great. But I do find it interesting. Like, well, why does it matter so much what you're doing as a family? If family time is what matters most, like what is your purpose on the Sabbath? and figure out what that's gonna look like for you and like your reasons. But it truly becomes more of a delight when you take ownership of what you're doing and your why and enjoying what you're doing. I think it's awesome. Our Sundays have gotten kind of more lax as I've gotten more lax in all honesty. But I do, I go to my meetings and I love it. I love collaborating with my fellow members, planning things, solving problems. I love getting to know the girls in my young women's organization, going out and taking things to them. But I'm also not opposed to lots of things these days. I'm just all about people and I think there's lots of ways and days of the week too. to remember our Savior and our Heavenly Parents. And if this Sunday is meant to be a day that's different, there's lots of different ways that that can look. And I am grateful for it to be a day of rest. I do love resting on the Sabbath. ⁓ I try and maybe journal some more, do some scripture reading, some studying of some sort. do hang out with family, see grandparents, family dinners. I do love all those things, but it is evolving to look a little bit different for us from time to time. And I love that we've given ourselves permission to do that and to explore what that can look like with our kids. And it's awesome. In fact, I'll tell you another story. So we went to Legoland with our boys and we had discussed, I again, I'm like sky's the limit right now. I'm kind of in this exploratory phase. And I asked my husband, was like, so do we go to the park on a Sunday? And he was like, no, let's not go to the park on a Sunday, but I'm okay traveling on a Sunday. I was like, okay. So we traveled on a Sunday to California. flew there and got an Uber there, explored the hotel. We walked to a restaurant and ate out that day. We swam in a pool that day and we were together as a family having a beautiful day all day. We didn't go to church and that's okay. I still like going to church, but that day, We didn't go to church yet. We were like hanging out together the entire time. Like how many times are you hanging out as a family and everybody's on their phone, but you're together. Just the thought something that I've thought about that I've noticed. And again, like why would God had given us the Sabbath as an opportunity? Like what principle lies behind, principle and purpose lies behind keeping the Sabbath day holy. On the seventh day, God rested. It is so much about a specific day. Is it about rest? Just some thoughts. Anyway, just a reminder, God loves you. And I really don't think what we have discovered is from Him, them, is meant to belittle or lessen our value, belittle us, lessen our value, help us feel less than. They're all just opportunities. tap into more love, more light, more joy, more peace, all the good stuff. So do the work to figure out what you want that to look like for you. And it can evolve. Give yourself permission to evolve and change it any time. Okay. You got this. I'm cheering you on. Make it a great day.