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Chapter XXXIV · Pride and Prejudice | Audiobook

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  Speaker 1: Chapter 34 When they were gone, Elizabeth, as if intending
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  Speaker 1: to exasperate herself as much as possible against Mr. Darcy,
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  Speaker 1: chose for her employment the examination of all the letters
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  Speaker 1: which Jane had written to her since her being in Kent.
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  Speaker 1: They contained no actual complaint, nor was there any revival
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  Speaker 1: of past occurrences, or any communication of present suffering, But
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  Speaker 1: in all, and in almost every line of each, there
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  Speaker 1: was a want of that cheerfulness which had been used
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  Speaker 1: to characterise her style, and which, proceeding from the serenity
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  Speaker 1: of a mind at ease with itself, and kindly disposed
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  Speaker 1: towards everyone, had been scarcely ever clouded. Elizabeth noticed every
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  Speaker 1: sentence conveying the idea of uneasiness, with an attention which,
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  Speaker 1: it had hardly received on the first perusal. Mr. Darcy's
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  Speaker 1: shameful boast of what misery he had been able to
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  Speaker 1: inflict gave her a keener sense of her sister's sufferings.
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  Speaker 1: It was some consolation to think that his visit to
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  Speaker 1: Rosings was to end on the day after the next,
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  Speaker 1: and a still greater that in less than a fortnight
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  Speaker 1: she should herself be with Jane again. and enabled to
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  Speaker 1: contribute to the recovery of her spirits by all that
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  Speaker 1: affection could do. She could not think of Darcy's leaving
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  Speaker 1: Kent without remembering that his cousin was to go with him.
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  Speaker 1: But Colonel Fitzwilliam had made it clear that he had
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  Speaker 1: no intentions at all, and, agreeable as he was, she
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  Speaker 1: did not mean to be unhappy about him. While settling
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  Speaker 1: this point, she was suddenly roused by the sound of
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  Speaker 1: the doorbell, and her spirits were a little fluttered by
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  Speaker 1: the idea of its being Colonel Fitzwilliam himself, who had
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  Speaker 1: once before called late in the evening and might now
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  Speaker 1: come to inquire particularly after her. But this idea was
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  Speaker 1: soon banished, and her spirits were very differently affected when,
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  Speaker 1: to her utter amazement, She saw Mr Darcy walk into
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  Speaker 1: the room. In a hurried manner, he immediately began an
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  Speaker 1: inquiry after her health, imputing his visit to a wish
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  Speaker 1: of hearing that she were better. She answered him with
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  Speaker 1: cold civility. He sat down for a few moments, and
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  Speaker 1: then getting up, walked about the room. Elizabeth was surprised,
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  Speaker 1: but said not a word. After a silence of several minutes,
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  Speaker 1: he came towards her in an agitated manner and thus began,
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  Speaker 1: In vain have I struggled. It will not do. My
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  Speaker 1: feelings will not be repressed. You must allow me to
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  Speaker 1: tell you how ardently I admire and love you. Elizabeth's
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  Speaker 1: astonishment was beyond expression. She stared, coloured, doubted, and was silent.
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  Speaker 1: This he considered sufficient encouragement. and the avowal of all
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  Speaker 1: that he felt, and had long felt for her, immediately followed.
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  Speaker 1: He spoke well, but there were feelings besides those of
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  Speaker 1: the heart to be detailed, and he was not more
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  Speaker 1: eloquent on the subject of tenderness than of pride. His
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  Speaker 1: sense of her inferiority, of its being a degradation, of
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  Speaker 1: the family obstacles which judgment had always opposed to inclination,
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  Speaker 1: were dwelt on with a warmth which seemed due to
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  Speaker 1: the consequence he was wounding, but was very unlikely to
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  Speaker 1: recommend his suit. In spite of her deeply rooted dislike,
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  Speaker 1: she could not be insensible to the compliment of such
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  Speaker 1: a man's affection, and though her intentions did not vary
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  Speaker 1: for an instant, she was at first sorry for the
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  Speaker 1: pain he was to receive. till roused to resentment by
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  Speaker 1: his subsequent language, she lost all compassion in anger. She tried, however,
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  Speaker 1: to compose herself to answer him with patience when he
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  Speaker 1: should have done. He concluded with representing to her the
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  Speaker 1: strength of that attachment which, in spite of all his endeavours,
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  Speaker 1: he had found impossible to conquer, and with expressing his
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  Speaker 1: hope that it would now be rewarded by her acceptance
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  Speaker 1: of his hand. As he said this, she could easily
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  Speaker 1: see that he had no doubt of a favourable answer.
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  Speaker 1: He spoke of apprehension and anxiety, but his countenance expressed
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  Speaker 1: real security. Such a circumstance could only exasperate father, and
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  Speaker 1: when he ceased, the colour rose into her cheeks and
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  Speaker 1: she said, In such cases as this, It is, I believe,
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  Speaker 1: the established mode to express a sense of obligation for
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  Speaker 1: the sentiments avowed, however unequally they may be returned. It
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  Speaker 1: is natural that obligation should be felt, and if I
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  Speaker 1: could feel gratitude, I would now thank you. But I cannot.
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  Speaker 1: I have never desired your good opinion, and you have
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  Speaker 1: certainly bestowed it most unwillingly. I am sorry to have
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  Speaker 1: occasioned pain to anyone. It has been most unconsciously done, however,
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  Speaker 1: and I hope will be of short duration. The feelings
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  Speaker 1: which you tell me have long prevented the acknowledgement of
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  Speaker 1: your regard can have little difficulty in overcoming it after
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  Speaker 1: this explanation. Mr. Darcy, who was leaning against the mantelpiece
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  Speaker 1: with his eyes fixed on her face, seemed to catch
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  Speaker 1: her words with no less resentment than surprise. His complexion
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  Speaker 1: became pale with anger, and the disturbance of his mind
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  Speaker 1: was visible in every feature. He was struggling for the
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  Speaker 1: appearance of composure, and would not open his lips till
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  Speaker 1: he believed himself to have attained it. The pause was
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  Speaker 1: to Elizabeth's feelings dreadful. At length, in a voice of
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  Speaker 1: forced calmness, he said, And this is all the reply
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  Speaker 1: which I am to have the honour of expecting. I might, perhaps,
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  Speaker 1: wish to be informed why, with so little endeavour at civility,
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  Speaker 1: I am thus rejected. But it is of small importance.
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  Speaker 1: I might as well inquire, replied she. Why, with so
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  Speaker 1: evident a design of offending and insulting me, you chose
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  Speaker 1: to tell me that you liked me against your will,
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  Speaker 1: against your reason, and even against your character? Was not
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  Speaker 1: this some excuse for incivility, if I was uncivil? But
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  Speaker 1: I have other provocations. You know I have. Had not
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  Speaker 1: my own feelings decided against you, had they been indifferent,
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  Speaker 1: or had they even been favourable, do you think that
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  Speaker 1: any consideration would tempt me to accept the man who
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  Speaker 1: has been the means of ruining, perhaps forever, the happiness
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  Speaker 1: of a most beloved sister? As she pronounced these words, Mr.
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  Speaker 1: Darcy changed colour. But the emotion was short, and he
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  Speaker 1: listened without attempting to interrupt her while she continued. I
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  Speaker 1: have every reason in the world to think ill of you.
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  Speaker 1: No motive can excuse the unjust and ungenerous part you
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  Speaker 1: acted there. You dare not. You cannot deny that you
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  Speaker 1: have been the principal... if not the only means of
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  Speaker 1: dividing them from each other, of exposing one to the
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  Speaker 1: censure of the world for caprice and instability, the other
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  Speaker 1: to its derision for disappointed hopes, and involving them both
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  Speaker 1: in misery of the acutest kind. She paused, and saw
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  Speaker 1: with no slight indignation that he was listening with an
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  Speaker 1: air which proved him wholly unmoved by any feeling of remorse.
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  Speaker 1: He even looked at her with a smile of affected incredulity.
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  Speaker 1: Can you deny that you have done it? She repeated.
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  Speaker 1: With assumed tranquility, he then replied, I have no wish
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  Speaker 1: of denying that I did everything in my power to
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  Speaker 1: separate my friend from your sister, or that I rejoice
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  Speaker 1: in my success. Towards him, I have been kinder than
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  Speaker 1: towards myself. Elizabeth disdained the appearance of noticing this civil reflection,
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  Speaker 1: but its meaning did not escape, nor was it likely
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  Speaker 1: to conciliate her. But it is not merely this affair,
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  Speaker 1: she continued, on which my dislike is founded. Long before
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  Speaker 1: it had taken place, my opinion of you was decided.
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  Speaker 1: Your character was unfolded in the recital which I received
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  Speaker 1: many months ago from Mr. Wickham. On this subject, what
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  Speaker 1: can you have to say? In what imaginary act of
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  Speaker 1: friendship can you here defend yourself? Or under what misrepresentation
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  Speaker 1: can you here impose upon others? You take an eager
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  Speaker 1: interest in that gentleman's concerns, said Darcy. in a less
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  Speaker 1: tranquil tone, and with a heightened colour. Who that knows
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  Speaker 1: what his misfortunes have been can help feeling an interest
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  Speaker 1: in him. His misfortunes, repeated Darcy, contemptuously. Yes. His misfortunes
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  Speaker 1: have been great indeed. And of your infliction, cried Elizabeth
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  Speaker 1: with energy, you have reduced him to his present state
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  Speaker 1: of poverty, comparative poverty. You have withheld the advantages which
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  Speaker 1: you must know to have been designed for him. You
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  Speaker 1: have deprived the best years of his life of that
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  Speaker 1: independence which was no less his due than his desert.
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  Speaker 1: You have done all this, and yet you can treat
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  Speaker 1: the mention of his misfortunes with contempt and ridicule. And this,
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  Speaker 1: cried Darcy, as he walked with quick steps across the room,
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  Speaker 1: is your opinion of me? This is the estimation in
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  Speaker 1: which you hold me. I thank you for explaining it
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  Speaker 1: so fully. My faults, according to this calculation, are heavy indeed.
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  Speaker 1: But perhaps, added he, stopping in his walk and turning
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  Speaker 1: towards her, these offences might have been overlooked had not
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  Speaker 1: your pride been hurt by my honest confession of the
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  Speaker 1: scruples that had long prevented my forming any serious design.
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  Speaker 1: These bitter accusations might have been suppressed had I, with
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  Speaker 1: greater policy, concealed my struggles. and flattered you into the
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  Speaker 1: belief of my being impelled by unqualified, unalloyed inclination, by reason,
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  Speaker 1: by reflection, by everything. But disguise of every sort is
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  Speaker 1: my abhorrence. Nor am I ashamed of the feelings I related.
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  Speaker 1: They were natural and just. Could you expect me to
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  Speaker 1: rejoice in the inferiority of your connections? to congratulate myself
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  Speaker 1: on the hope of relations whose condition in life is
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  Speaker 1: so decidedly beneath my own? Elizabeth felt herself growing more
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  Speaker 1: angry every moment, yet she tried to the utmost to
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  Speaker 1: speak with composure when she said, You are mistaken, Mr. Darcy,
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  Speaker 1: if you suppose that the mode of your declaration affected
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  Speaker 1: me in any other way than as it spared me
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  Speaker 1: the concern. which I might have felt in refusing you,
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  Speaker 1: had you behaved in a more gentleman-like manner. She saw
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  Speaker 1: him start at this, but he said nothing, and she continued.
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  Speaker 1: You could not have made me the offer of your
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  Speaker 1: hand in any possible way that would have tempted me
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  Speaker 1: to accept it. Again, his astonishment was obvious, and he
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  Speaker 1: looked at her with an expression of mingled incredulity and mortification.
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  Speaker 1: she went on. From the very beginning, from the first moment,
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  Speaker 1: I may almost say, of my acquaintance with you, your
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  Speaker 1: manners impressing me with the fullest belief of your arrogance,
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  Speaker 1: your conceit, and your selfish disdain of the feelings of others,
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  Speaker 1: were such as to form that groundwork of disapprobation, on
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  Speaker 1: which succeeding events have built so immovable a dislike. and
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  Speaker 1: I had not known you a month before, I felt
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  Speaker 1: that you were the last man in the world whom
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  Speaker 1: I could ever be prevailed on to marry. You have
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  Speaker 1: said quite enough, madam. I perfectly comprehend your feelings, and
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  Speaker 1: have now only to be ashamed of what my own
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  Speaker 1: have been. Forgive me for having taken up so much
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  Speaker 1: of your time, and accept my best wishes for your
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  Speaker 1: health and happiness. And with these words, he hastily left
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  Speaker 1: the room, and Elizabeth heard him the next moment open
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  Speaker 1: the front door and quit the house. The tumult of
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  Speaker 1: her mind was now painfully great. She knew not how
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  Speaker 1: to support herself, and from actual weakness sat down and
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  Speaker 1: cried for half an hour. Her astonishment, as she reflected
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  Speaker 1: on what had passed, was increased by every review of it.
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  Speaker 1: that she should receive an offer of marriage from Mr Darcy,
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  Speaker 1: that he should have been in love with her for
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  Speaker 1: so many months, so much in love as to wish
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  Speaker 1: to marry her in spite of all the objections which
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  Speaker 1: had made him prevent his friends marrying her sister, and
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  Speaker 1: which must appear at least with equal force in his
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  Speaker 1: own case, was almost incredible. It was gratifying to have
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  Speaker 1: inspired unconsciously so strong an affection. But his pride, his
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  Speaker 1: abominable pride, his shameless avowal of what he had done
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  Speaker 1: with respect to Jane, his unpardonable assurance in acknowledging, though
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  Speaker 1: he could not justify it, and the unfeeling manner which
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  Speaker 1: he had mentioned Mr. Wickham, his cruelty towards whom he
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  Speaker 1: had not attempted to deny— soon overcame the pity which
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  Speaker 1: the consideration of his attachment had for a moment excited.
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  Speaker 1: She continued in very agitating reflections, till the sound of
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  Speaker 1: Lady Catherine's carriage made her feel how unequal she was
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  Speaker 1: to encounter Charlotte's observation, and hurried her away to her room.