Latest / Soul Salon with Ayandastood / 60: mosaic mindset

Transcript

60: mosaic mindset · Soul Salon with Ayandastood

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you deserve to share yourself freely,
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not waiting to feel the absence of shame,
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or fear, or doubt, or confusion,
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or feeling not good enough,
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but recognizing that your soul has come to embody courage.
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And that is why you feel afraid.
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Your art is magic, your work is magic,
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your voice is magic,
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and we are waiting with open arms to receive you
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and to hold what you are here to share
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with absolute gratitude for your generosity,
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for your spirit, for your artistry,
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the artistry of your being,
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the artistry of your making,
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the poetry of your existence.
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Hello, divine being.
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This has found you because your perspective is needed.
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Your perspective is longed for.
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It is craved, it is yearned for.
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We long to hear how you see the world.
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You fear being seen,
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and yet we desire to see what you see,
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to see through how you see.
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And so it's all part of a very beautiful divine plan
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that is unfolding for and through you.
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And as you step into more visibility, more purpose,
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more creation this year,
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there is one mindset that I just wanna give to you
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that is so helpful, especially for creators
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who are using the digital space as a way
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to share their message, or their art, or their business,
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or their soul-led offering to the world, okay?
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As you do that, this idea can help you reduce the pressure
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that you place on each of the ideas that you share.
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I'm someone who has created on multiple different platforms,
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TikTok, Substack, YouTube, podcasting,
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and something that supported me so much
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is reducing the pressure on any individual creation
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in service of a more holistic and ecosystem body of work mindset.
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What I call this shift from hyperfixating on one video,
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one podcast, one creation, to a body of work and ecosystem,
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something vast and generous built over years.
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I call it the mosaic mindset, just like let that sink in,
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let that flow, let that be with you today in the salsa lawn.
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A mosaic mindset is the idea that as you share yourself
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with the world, as you write on your blog or on Substack,
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or you grow your newsletter list,
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as you share your art on Instagram,
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as you create TikTok videos, a way of seeing
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that can allow you to actually be prolific,
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like share yourself with the world,
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offer something to the collective,
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is by thinking of your creativity as a mosaic.
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And so instead of each individual video,
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or each individual blog post or Substack essay,
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being this big drama around how it could have been better,
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and it's not good enough,
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and the perfectionism just speaking to us again and again and again,
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being that partner on the dance floor
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that will not let us go.
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Okay, I know her.
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I've danced with her, she hasn't let me go,
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but the mosaic mindset allows you to zoom out and see your creativity
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in a more holistic and long term way.
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So what do we mean by this, by that, by all of these things?
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Okay, so when you post a video on TikTok, it's just a video.
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When you create an episode, it's just an episode,
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and it's a beautiful,
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if actually know what, let me not minimize it that way,
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because every creation is divine creation,
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and also every creation is co-creation.
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This is so fundamental to what I believe is that
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there is nothing that is created individually,
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whether it's the things you've read,
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the people who've raised you,
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the culture you come from,
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the language you perceive reality through,
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the book that led you to see the world in that specific way
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that was apportal to you,
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understanding or seeing or being in the world in that way,
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the artists who have shaped you and made you,
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the thinkers, the healers, the feelers, the family members,
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like we are all a part of this co-creative process of life.
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We're co-creating with the air that we breathe,
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we're co-creating with the conversations that we've had,
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we're co-creating with the universe at all times,
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we are a co-creation, and so we co-create.
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And so as we do that, we need to recognize
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that we are eternally worthy of creating babes,
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because we are part of the chorus of life,
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you are part of the chorus of life,
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and it is not your role to silence yourself
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in fear of what may go wrong.
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So what the Mosaic mindset unlocks for you or can,
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is this idea that, okay, yes, I feel like the perfectionism
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is speaking to me in this one video.
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I feel like my energy could be different.
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I feel like I could have brought in this resource
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or this idea why I didn't bring in this perspective.
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But when I zoom out, does this fit into a holistic body
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of work that I feel proud of?
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Is this the vibration that I feel proud of?
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Did I try?
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Did I try to be creative?
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Did I try to be generous?
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Did I try to be love and speak love
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and be generous with my wisdom
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and what I've come to see in the world?
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I created this artwork.
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I could have changed this element or that element,
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but I'm choosing to share it,
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because this is part of the mosaic of my creation.
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Over time, this beautiful archive
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or body of work starts to develop.
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And my love, something that no one tells you
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is that everything you create is almost like a breadcrumb.
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And we don't know which breadcrumb is going to lead
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to your ideal human being on this earth, finding you.
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You may think this is gonna be the video that changes everything
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or this is going to be the blog post
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that rarely speaks to people and resonates.
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This is gonna be the recipe that people connect to
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and leave comments on and engage with
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but actually none of us knows.
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None of us knows how any of this is going to unfold.
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And the digital space is kind of like creating more surface area
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for aligned opportunities, people, clients, community,
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peers, collaborators, mentors to find you.
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So the greater the surface area that you offer us,
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the more room we have to connect with you,
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to reach out for you, to reach for your voice.
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So if you just reduce the pressure on each thing
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that you create and say,
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you know in this podcast episode that you are listening to
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or you are watching right now in this sole session,
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I feel like my energy could be different.
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Like I feel usually I'm much more excited enthusiastic.
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I'm wearing my glasses, maybe that's part of it.
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Everyone in the glasses crew, we are here together.
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I have really weak eyes.
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In a different time of my earth experience,
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I wouldn't have survived.
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Like I wouldn't have been able to see.
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And I feel like, oh, I could start this again.
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I could do this differently.
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But I'm choosing to accept that this creation
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is part of my mosaic, okay?
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It's part of the mosaic of my creativity.
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We get to learn from this art form that's ancient.
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And we can say, what is there for me to gather from this?
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What is the wisdom of the mosaic?
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What a mosaic communicates is the patience of the artist,
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the vision of the artist, the willingness of the artist
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to do the humble work of the small
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in order to create the beautiful work of the large.
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And we can learn so much from this level of patience,
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from this level of devotion.
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The mosaic is such a devotional kind of art
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because in the beginning, it doesn't really look like much.
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You know what I mean?
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It's just some tiles.
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It's just some tiles like there's yellow there.
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We don't know yet that it's the sun.
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We don't know yet that the blue over there
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is going to become this lovely ocean of blue
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with the deeper blues and the lighter blues
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and that it's all going to come together.
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And so the artist who makes the mosaic
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as an artist who is patient is an artist who is devoted
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and as an artist who is committed to a larger vision
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for their work.
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So in 2025, my hope for you is that you won't put
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so much pressure and heaviness on your individual creations.
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Sometimes I've had these moments where a specific TikTok video,
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like a 60 second video, has felt like it will never be good enough.
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And then what has happened is I've left it in my drafts
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and then I've had hundreds of drafts
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that honestly would have all been good enough, quote unquote,
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because I mean, it all belongs.
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It's all part of life.
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It was all an expression of life through me.
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We can have standards for our work and that is precious,
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but also when these standards become punishing,
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when we are that punishing parent who never feel satisfied enough
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is always demanding more and expecting more,
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is always trying to push us more
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and never can find the good enough and celebrate
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and be proud of what we were able to make that day.
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I think that's such a shame, I love.
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You deserve to share yourself freely.
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You deserve to hit send on something
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that you know could have been more edited
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or more perfect or more whatever
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because that is the nature of life.
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In any piece of life, you could find what it could have been
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and you could find millions of examples
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of all that that piece of life could have been.
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And yet we can still accept the magic
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and the profundity, the profoundness of what is,
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of the fact that life spoke to you that day in that way.
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I have had so many creations that didn't feel good enough
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and that I felt the sense of self punishing for,
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that why did I speak like that?
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Why didn't I mention this example?
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Why didn't include this counterpoint?
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Why did I suggest or imply that thing
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or that other thing that I didn't mean?
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The ego wants to decide, it's narrative decide
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that it actually didn't mean that.
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What we think is the only acceptable thing we could have meant.
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But in that process of punishing myself,
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I've really come to a place where I'm like,
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I don't want to feel this way when I create things.
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I don't want to feel so fixated on how something could
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have been more perfect.
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Something could have been what it wasn't.
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I do want to celebrate this year
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just the radical beauty of what is.
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Sometimes after a conversation,
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how many of us feel like, I didn't say this
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or I didn't say that and we sort of analyze what went wrong.
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And it's so difficult to be present to the enoughness
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of what was, to feel like we did say enough,
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to feel like we did do enough,
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to feel like we don't always have to define ourselves
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by lack, by deficiency, by feeling never enough,
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never good enough, never smart enough to speak,
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never worthy enough to be heard, desirable enough to be loved.
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There's all these ways that, of course,
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all these systems of supremacy have constructed a consciousness
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that defines us as deficient.
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When we identify as avoid, we're less likely to feel ourselves
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as worthy of being full, full of life,
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full of possibility, full of love, full of opportunity,
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full of connection, full of community.
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So this is all by design.
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But in response to that, what I invite you into this year
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is as you hit submit on that video,
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as you hit submit on that sub-stack post
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or on launching something new and thinking
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it has to be the perfect launch that you say,
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even the launch is just part of the mosaic.
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We're in a culture that's so obsessed with beginnings.
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How did you meet when it comes to relationship versus
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how did you sustain this relationship?
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What was the turning point where you decided
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to go all in on each other?
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What do you feel like fuels gives life to this relationship
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and keeps the life there?
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How do you evolve as a couple, you know, things like that?
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And so when it comes to launching a project,
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you can put so much pressure on the perfect launch.
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And really, that kind of pressure
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actually just suffocates the creative process itself
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because how many of us, because we pressure our launches,
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don't end up launching things that we want to launch.
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Instead of taking action and allowing it to be enough,
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it almost feels like it's safer to keep it as an idea
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because then I don't have to confront
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some of the inherent messiness of actually creating something.
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Because when it's a vision, it can be perfect,
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it can be an idea, it can be a concept,
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it can be full of possibilities and plans
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and moments that we've envisioned
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when we commit to actually creating that.
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It's such a process of giving birth,
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of giving life to something and surrendering to the messiness
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of that, the unpredictability of that
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and the uncontrollability of that actual process of creation.
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But you are worthy of experiencing that.
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You're worthy of experiencing the reality
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of actually making something and sharing it with the world
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and seeing all the emotions that come with that
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and holding yourself with love through that,
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knowing that you are being held by the universe,
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you're being held by people who long to hear from you
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and want you to believe in yourself enough
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so that you eventually can find them
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so they can eventually find you.
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So this year in my love,
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whether it's returning to a project,
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some of you launched a YouTube channel a few years ago
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and have been meaning to go back,
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but there's that shame of all that you haven't created.
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There's that shame of returning.
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And I have a sole session called
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the Power of Re-Commitment and Return.
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I actually think recommitting is one
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of the most powerful forms of committing.
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The ability to say, I had this perfect plan,
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I didn't follow it and still I'm worthy of trying again.
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I started this sub-stack, I didn't stay as consistent
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as I wanted to be and still I'm worthy of trying again
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and trying again and trying again.
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And if we can learn to forgive ourselves
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for what we didn't do, didn't create, didn't make,
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knowing that we are divine being,
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knowing that we are here to dance with life
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and to be alive to our polls, our curiosities, our desires,
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and knowing that that poll is a collective poll of curiosity.
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It's all the people who feel called
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to the things that we feel called to calling through us,
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calling to us and allowing us to step into that next level
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of creation, of visibility, of purpose, of power.
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And I know that you have felt called to do that.
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So when it comes to launching or starting
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or recommitting or growing your digital project this year,
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I hope that you feel supported by the Mosaic mindset
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that this is always available.
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And the beauty of a Mosaic is even if we have a vision
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for how we think it's going to end.
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Once those pieces are available to us and on the canvas,
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there is so much room for it to become something
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we couldn't have even imagined.
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So much happens when we surrender to the process
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and devote ourselves to the process of creation
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that we could not have ever foretold.
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For example, YouTube to me used to feel
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like such an impossible and distant project.
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I never really thought that I would be someone on YouTube.
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But then because I was so devoted to my podcast
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and video podcasting became a thing again,
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all creation is co-creation, I co-created with the moments
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of video being the time that I started my podcasting journey
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and so much has unfolded through and for that
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and it feels like it's just the beginning.
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So so much becomes possible when we say yes to our ideas,
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when we say yes to our creativity,
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when we say yes to being seen,
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not waiting to feel the absence of shame or fear
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or doubt or confusion or feeling not good enough
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but recognizing that your soul has come to embody courage.
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And that is why you feel afraid.
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Because if you didn't feel afraid,
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you couldn't be courageous in the face of fear
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and know that you are a part of life that has survived
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meaning you have overcome in your lineage
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so much adversity, so much struggle, so much pain
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and also you have in your lineage joy and music and dance
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and wisdom, there's all these gifts and challenges
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that we have inherited.
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And the fact that you are here
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and if you are a black person listening to this,
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a brown person listening to us,
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an indigenous person listening to this,
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the fact that you are here, you know the idea
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that we were not meant to survive,
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the fact that you are here,
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you are so worthy of expressing
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and of being held with love in that expression
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and of being lovingly witnessed in that expression.
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To honor that and say I honor the life that is trying
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to express itself through me and like the flowers,
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like the rivers, like the butterflies, like the bees,
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like the leaves of the tree, I deserve to express
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that life is just expressing itself through me.
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It's so natural, whatever I share is natural,
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whatever I share belongs,
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what is unnatural is the shame that we're led to feel,
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what is unnatural is a level of perfectionism
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we are made to feel, what is unnatural is a being
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silencing itself.
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Imagine a bird wanting to sing a song and saying,
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oh no, it's not good enough, it will never be good enough,
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that is what is unnatural.
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Imagine the sun worrying that it might burn people
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if it shines too brightly, that is what is unnatural.
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Imagine the grass refusing to grow
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because some people do find grass annoying and itchy.
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Many people are allergic to grass.
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Does that mean the grass shouldn't grow?
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Imagine the world without grass.
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Yes, it's the case that some people are allergic to the grass.
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Does that mean that nature should not create grass
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just as there's nothing on earth
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that is completely found or experienced as neutral?
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It is safe for people to have opinions about you,
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it is safe for you to share yourself online,
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it is safe for you to express and trust
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that you will find your people,
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you will find what's meant for you,
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if you devote yourself to continuing to proceed to keep going.
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And so my darling, Mosaic mindset is here to support you,
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it's here to hold your hand, post that video,
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submit that essay, send that newsletter,
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this space is about continuing.
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There's something I've learned
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and it's about just trusting that eventually,
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it will find the people it's meant for.
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That is sort of the gift of algorithms.
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They are a curse in many ways,
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but that is one of the gifts
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is that the goal of the algorithm is for your work
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to find who it's meant for.
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So if you keep creating the work
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and you devote yourself to doing that,
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I don't know if it's gonna take weeks, months or years,
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but eventually it will find the people it's meant for
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and you know what, those people will have the gift of having
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an archive of all your work,
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of all the Mosaic that you've created.
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They think it's just this one tile
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and then they get to see that you have all these episodes
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or all these videos, you have playlists,
17:20
you have this beautiful archive
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that they now get to experience.
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You are so divine, my love,
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you are so worthy of creation no matter what.
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Okay, so long as you are serving love
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and values that you wish to see more of in the world,
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so long as you are creating something
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that you would love to receive
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or if you're creating an alignment,
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that's what I mean, we all deserve that.
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We all deserve to be seen doing that.
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I do wanna let you know, that's,
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I have this, oh my word, that was perfect,
17:49
not to say perfectionist, I have this beautiful e-book
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called Soulful Visibility, it's a guide
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and it's an e-book, so I printed it
17:58
but it is so beautiful and I'm obsessed with it
18:01
and it's for free, currently, currently, babes.
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So visit my website, I understood.com
18:09
and there you can input your e-mail address
18:11
and receive this to your inbox.
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This is such a generous, if I do say so myself,
18:15
like there's just so much in this book,
18:17
I'm actually shocked, it's free, but I want you to be seen,
18:20
I want you to be felt, I want you to be received
18:23
and I believe in the world that is dreaming through and of you.
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I believe in the new earth trying to rise through all of us
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who long to be seen at the same time
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that we deeply fear some of the pains of visibility,
18:35
some of the risks of visibility.
18:37
And so this is here to hold your hand
18:40
and be with you, it has mindset shifts,
18:42
it has a really high vibrational playlist
18:45
that is going to just help you before you create
18:48
or while you journal or while you go on a walk
18:50
to bring you back to that energy of love
18:53
and this beautiful, just soulful vibration,
18:56
I can't explain it, it has affirmations
18:59
and I think you'll really enjoy it
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if you do fear being seen, it was hot made for you.
19:05
I wish I could hand this to my younger self
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who started her journey creating online
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and there's been moments where I've almost given up
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certain things and I would have handed this to myself
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in those moments in particular.
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So I encourage you to go to my website,
19:19
I understand.com and if you do fear being seen,
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if you do long for more visibility,
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if you do desire to take up space,
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whether it's online or offline,
19:27
this soulful visibility guide is here to hold your hand
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with love, with ease, with delight
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and with absolute pride, I'm so proud to support your journey,
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I'm so proud to be able to speak to you
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and through you and with you and of you.
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I believe we're all on this beautiful path,
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walking each other home.
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As Ram Das has said, holding each other's hands,
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guiding each other, singing songs to each other,
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listening to each other in generous ways,
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offering ourselves to each other generously,
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lovingly and devotedly.
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I love you so much, my love, you are love,
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you are loved, you are so needed,
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your perspective is craved, your perspective is remembered,
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your perspective is desired, your art is magic,
20:08
your work is magic, your voice is magic,
20:11
and we are waiting with open arms to receive you
20:14
and to hold what you are here to share
20:15
with absolute gratitude for your generosity,
20:18
for your spirit, for your artistry,
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the artistry of your being,
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the artistry of your making, the poetry of your existence.
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I'm so excited to continue to support you on your journey.
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I wanna share a soul session with you
20:31
that can support you to listen to next.
20:33
So watch this video over here on recommitment
20:36
and returning to the projects that we may have left behind
20:39
because that is so brave, so courageous.
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And I really believe your spirit has come here,
20:44
your energy, your being has come here
20:46
to embody a certain kind of bravery,
20:48
a loving bravery, a loving courage,
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which the world really needs so much more of
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in this time, at all times,
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is people who are not only courageous,
20:57
but lovingly courageous.
20:58
Happy 2025 and I'm so excited to join you with you.
21:01
This year, I love you, bye.
21:05
My darling, my love, my soul, sibling,
21:07
thank you for stepping into the soul salon.
21:10
If you are still hearing or watching this,
21:12
we are soul siblings.
21:14
We are resonating on the same frequency.
21:16
And so something you may struggle with
21:18
that I struggle with is the fear of being seen.
21:21
You know that visibility is involved in you living
21:24
your creative purpose and being in your power,
21:26
serving the collective through your gifts,
21:29
through your magic, through your medicine.
21:31
In order to do that, you know you need to be more seen
21:35
than you are allowing yourself to be right now.
21:38
I have a gift just for you,
21:40
heart made for us on this frequency.
21:43
And it is a free ebook called The Soulful Visibility Guide.
21:47
That is soulful visibility.
21:49
Like we don't just want to be seen,
21:50
we want to be felt, we want to be heard,
21:53
we want to move and be moved.
21:55
So I do have a free gift for you.
21:57
And all you need to do is go to my website,
21:59
Iunderstood.com.
22:01
And there you will be able to input your email address
22:04
and receive this directly to your inbox.
22:07
This is such a juicy and delicious guide.
22:10
And I change the free offering every few months.
22:13
So you know, get it while you can.
22:14
All the links are in the show notes.
22:16
So thank you so much.
22:17
I love you.
22:18
And I will see you on the next sole session.
22:20
Okay, I love you.
22:22
Bye.