Latest / Reverse Jackass / Ep46: Evelyn survives fart jokes at Mr. Bill’s chili night; Nick wanted to crawl under the table at TGI Fridays.

Transcript

Ep46: Evelyn survives fart jokes at Mr. Bill’s chili night; Nick wanted to crawl under the table at TGI Fridays. · Reverse Jackass

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: It's revolution.
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I mean, that's a lot of excuses.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: You really only have to excuse yourself to yourself because I already know you and how you are.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: People love to be told that.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_01: You just threw a whole lot of.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_01: Let me tell you, when I when I went with Amber to her high school reunion, we met with our friends and they were all nervous.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_01: You know, everybody gets nervous before their high school reunion.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, it's very simple to go on the offense in a high school reunion.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_01: All you do is you talk exactly the same, you pay everybody compliments and you intersperse the word little in there.
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_00: Give me an example.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_01: Like, uh, oh my god, I love your little outfit.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, oh, I felt bad, and I know you weren't even talking to me.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, come over here.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_01: Uh Marisol was just telling us about her little job.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_01: Like you just, oh gosh, that really is awful.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: I know.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_01: I was a pained person in a previous life.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_01: I would never do that today, but that's like I still remember the tips and tools.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_00: And you know what?
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: That's true power.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing the nuke codes and choosing not to use them.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Well, let me tell you, uh, in terms of wielding power responsibly, I like to think I'm bucking the national trend over here.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_01: You are.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: You're you're a bit of a salmon, my friend.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yep.
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: Swimming upstream.
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: Swimming upstream.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I'm keeping all of this in, but would you officially lead us in to today's recording of the Reverse Jackass podcast?
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_01: You know that I will.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_01: Folks, welcome back to the Reverse Jackass Podcast.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's so great to have you here.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: I'm Nick with me as always is Evelyn the Canadian Blade.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, everyone.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I'm Evelyn the Canadian Blade.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_01: Well put.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_01: And this is an Evelyn the Canadian Blade episode today.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_01: So, Evelyn, launch us.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 1:42
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I can tell that you, like in our conversation leading up to this podcast, that you today are Jones in for a podcast episode.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Damn right.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: I really hope, I really hope this doesn't let you down.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_00: I have another story about Mr.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: Bill for you.
• 1:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yay! So here's today's here's today's story.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want to tell you time when I went over for dinner to Mr.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Bill's house.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is gonna have everything you need to set you up for the rest of your day to be a good day.
• 2:12
  SPEAKER_01: Thanks in advance.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: You're welcome.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: So this was before the previous Mr.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: Bill story.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:19
  SPEAKER_00: So there was no going over for dinner after, after the old Jesus gotcha, the old the old Christian gotcha.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: That that precludes dinner.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it really did.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: But before that, in an attempt to get to know my colleagues, just get to know people, try and be a friendly person on staff.
• 2:37
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like it's the same kind of thing, you know, when you were talking about your making cookies and really like being the one to reach out and create that connection first.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was doing the same thing with staff, you know, other other staff at my school.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: So um, Mr.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Bill, knowing that my husband and I are people of I want to say a similar belief system to him, but I'm also very hesitant to say that because it's not at all true.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing that we also love Jesus, and that's probably like if there's Venn diagrams between me and Mr.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Bill, I think they're probably barely overtouching.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's no overlap.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: So he asked if my husband and I would want to come over for dinner one night.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: And I and I said sure, reluctantly, because I didn't actually want to go.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: But I was like, you know what?
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: This is probably a nice thing to do.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: So So pause real quick.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_01: This episode is brought to you by saying yes when you mean no.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: Saying yes when you mean no, try it and do it forever.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_00: Additional sponsorship by peoplepleasing.com.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: If you're not pleasing people, who are you pleasing?
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Peoplepleasing.com.
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: A proud sponsor of the Reverse Jackass podcast.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: So we figured out a date and time.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: Turns out, lo and behold, we live near each other.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: What joy!
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_01: Awesome.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: How fortuitous.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: I said I'd bring a dessert.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, or maybe he asked if I would.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I said sure.
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: So I made an apple crisp with caramel.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Yum.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was delicious.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: And the dinner was chili, and we had a big, big pot of chili.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: And maybe there was and maybe there was.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: I bet you're saying like the reception was chili.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Like everybody was not talking to one another.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, no.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, it was the opposite of that.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: It could it, I would have, in hindsight, preferred chili and chili.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: It would have been nice.
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: So we get there and we're just we're small talking, we have lots to talk about.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: I thought, oh, we have school in common.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: That'll be nice to talk about.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: No, it was church talk.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: Oh more church talk than you can talk.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: How much church would a church talk talk church talk?
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'll give a church talk.
• 4:37
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, we're getting we're running out of time here, and this is a good story that's worth drawing out.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: It's okay.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: So we're there, we're talking, and the whole family was there.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: The whole fam Shabambly was there.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: And this is a larger family, like maybe four kids, three kids, four.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, it's not really that large, but you're like, wait a year, waity here, three to four kids.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: But they're like grow, yeah, blow your mind, but they're like grown, like adults.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_00: And it was I know, I don't know why I'm getting weird right now.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: Oh man.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: They could make that much chili.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: How big was the cauldron?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: I just want everyone to know that the Evelyn days for this podcast are always Mondays.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're hearing an episode that's an Evelyn question, it's recorded on a Monday, and Nick is insufferable in his punchiness on Mondays.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: I have I have learned.
• 5:30
  SPEAKER_00: I am charting the way that one might chart one cycle.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: Nick's levels of punchiness.
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: And Monday, we're peaking.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Next cycle.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: We're we're we're cresting.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: So we get there, we're talking, we're talking all things church, and we're talking about the Bible, and we're talking about all these things, and we're all sitting around this table, and everyone's joining us.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the first that struck me as odd is that because it was a chili meal and the chili was good, chili and a salad, but the abundance of fart jokes that happened, and not none of them were introduced by my husband and I, but the there were fart jokes.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: There, more specifically, bean jokes.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, right?
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: Overcome.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_01: Anybody should have to make the connection.
• 6:17
  unknown: Right.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was very like, okay, we're okay, this is where our humor is.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is funny.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: And then we got into like the deep theological slash beliefs chat.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: And we started talking about baptism.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: And in the church, typically, I think at this time both of us, both of our families attended community churches, which is like a non-denominational church, typically practices baptism by submersion.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: So not infant baptism that you know that would be Catholic, Anglican, like many other.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: This is like you're in the tank and you're going all the way under, which is what I grew up seeing.
• 6:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I did when I was in university.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: My husband grew up going to the, I want to say Anglican.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: It must have been Anglican, but not really even going to church.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: Like it was just like sometimes.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: So we have two different experiences with this.
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: So Mr.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_00: Bill and his wife asked me about my baptism.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: So I told them the story.
• 7:14
  SPEAKER_00: It really wasn't a huge story to tell.
• 7:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then they asked my husband.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: And my husband said, Well, I was baptized as a child.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_01: Oh no.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_01: And the question He didn't see it coming.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: It was blistering down the highway at him.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_01: Blaring.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_00: Final destination vlog truck style.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Right coming right through the windshield at you.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: And the question was, in complete seriousness, well, why haven't you been baptized as an adult?
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: Are you afraid of water?
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: Are you afraid of swimming?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: That must be it.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_00: And I don't remember how Jason answered, if I can be honest with you.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: They said, How have you not been baptized as an adult?
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's might as well would have been.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_01: I'm afraid of water.
• 7:56
  SPEAKER_00: Are you afraid?
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Are you are you afraid of water?
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like that was it.
• 7:59
  SPEAKER_00: Are you afraid of swimming?
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: With all seriousness, the question that was asked.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_00: I don't remember what how Jason answered.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think I helped him.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like I think I was just singing in my head like precious low.
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like that's kind of near my God.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's like end of the Titanic happening over here, is what I was wishing.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Then, you know, we had my dessert.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: I let them keep the rest.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I made a huge pan.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: I said, just keep the I said, just bring me back the pan to school.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: It was my favorite, one of my favorite baking dishes.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: I use it to this day.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: It's a brushed aluminum pan.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's my favorite.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's beautiful for baked goods.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, please just don't put it in the dishwasher.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I was met, like I, it's like I just basically said, like, Zebul, Lunar, your Surper.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: It was like, why would why wouldn't I put this in the why can't I put this in the dishwasher?
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_00: I said, it's brushed aluminum, like it has to be hand washed.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: I said, you know what?
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Don't even wash it.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_00: Just just bring it back to me at school.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I was expecting crusty remnants.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: Well, they did wash it by hand.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: It was very kind.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, nice, okay.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, it was all it was all fine.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: So it was not a late evening.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't understand, like the fellowship part was very weird.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: The stories being told were weird.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't understand the hodgepodge.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: It's it seemingly looked like a hodgepodge of people at the table.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Sure.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the conversation was uncomfortable.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_00: There were fart jokes.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: We were all adults.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: I don't, I never mind a good fart joke.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I think a funny sounding fart could cure most of the arguments around the world, if I'm being honest with you.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: I think everyone just has to get in a room, someone needs to let it rip.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I actually think people would relax a little bit.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_01: I actually think you're dead wrong about that, but I would love to find the funding to send you on a trip to try to make that happen.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: Like an Evelyn peacemaking tour where you just go in and you're just testing out different fart jokes to see how they resolve different global conflicts.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, no, I mean like actual farts.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Like just okay, testing out actual farts.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_01: I don't care how you, you know, you ply your trade, you're the actual.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know, listen, you I don't necessarily mean me.
• 9:58
  SPEAKER_00: I just want one person with IBS.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: I want one crappy plastic chair, and I want a microphone.
• 10:05
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's all I need.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: World peace.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_00: And world peace, babes.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: Carney, you've been working too hard.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: So my question for you, Nick, is what is the worst group dinner experience you have ever had?
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: The worst group dinner experience that I've ever had.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't, and I don't want one when you've been a server.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_01: That's fair.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: Um, the we'll have to, I'm gonna have to come up with a second one.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: Because the actual worst group dinner experience I ever had was the one that I've already shared on this podcast where I where I told my girlfriend's parents and her parents' friends that she was pregnant when she was not, in fact, pregnant.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_01: Oh yeah.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_01: Do you remember that story?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so that was pretty bad.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Uh but but I'm sure I can come up with another one.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_01: I it's I Or like maybe not group, but just like the worst dinner experience I've ever.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, okay.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_01: And it's not when I was a server.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, no, I want one where you were sitting and couldn't leave.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh did I did I stump you?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_01: You might have, because of two things.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: First thing is I don't I don't love those kind of get-togethers, so I tend to avoid them.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_01: And then secondly, I'm very good at pivoting things to make sure that they don't get insane.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm really, I'm having to think of a time when I was really powerless.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_01: And it's funny because I can think of a million different ones.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm trying to think of one that revolves around dinner.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because I have a million that that are gathering experiences that involve alcohol.
• 11:33
  SPEAKER_01: I have a million stories of like people getting drunk and being shitheads to me, but I'm trying to think of something that's specifically a dinner experience because that feels like a guideline that's helpful.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that is like the or a meal, like any kind of meal where you were with a less than ideal group of people.
• 11:50
  SPEAKER_01: A meal with a uh a less than ideal group of people.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, okay.
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_00: You got one.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: I just saw it.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: I saw the light.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: I saw the light turn on.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, so I am in college.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_01: This is this is pretty bad.
• 12:04
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that you're gonna find that there are no heroes in this story.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm in college with two friends, these two roommates, I'm a freshman.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: We go to a TJI Friday.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_01: We had one really terrible TJI Fridays in my college time.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: It was worse than you could ever imagine.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: Oh.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: And so we're going and we're looking at the menus, and I'm with these two guys, and one of them tells a horrifically painful story about a brutally abusive betrayal that his ex had done to him.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: Like this this person really, really, really fucking hurt this guy, and he is on the verge of tears as he's telling this story.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: And the other guy, and I'm not defending this, this was the wrong thing to say on a lot of levels, but he said, Man, I would have smacked that bitch in her face.
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_01: But in addition to saying something that even in the 90s was not a good thing to say, it you really wouldn't say it today.
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_01: In the 90s, it was a pretty bad idea.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now it would be horrific.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: Just at the moment, the server walked up to hear this thing that my friend had said.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: And to say that to say that it offended her would be to put it lightly, and she took him apart.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_01: The server took him apart and said, like, I'm sorry, what is this you're talking about about hitting a woman?
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_01: And he goes, I and she goes, because I will beat the shit out of you.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_01: I don't broker that shit at all.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: And he's like, I j and she's like, and again, like it's it was the wrong thing to say.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was a bad thing to say in any context.
• 13:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: In any context, but and I would tell him, would have told him then if I had time, and would tell him now not to say that thing.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_01: But also there was a little bit of context that the other guy at the table was beside himself, and it was again, nobody in real life would have like I don't think this guy actually would have hit this woman.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: I think he was furious on her friend's behalf and said a really stupid bad thing.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: But all the server heard was I would smack that bitch in her face, and she took him apart, and she didn't give a fuck whether her job depended on it.
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that because she told us that she didn't give a fuck if her job depended on it.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: She threatened him, she threatened him physically.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_01: Uh it was it was like it took probably a solid minute, which a minute is a long time when you think about it, and it is an eternity, the service industry.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't even remember how or whether he apologized.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: But then we had the next hour of being in this TJI Fridays having our meal with the stink of I would have smacked that bitch in her face on our table.
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: And did she continue serving you?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: She did.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_01: And it was it was cold, which again, I'm not blaming her.
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_01: I think I yeah, I'm not blaming her.
• 14:37
  SPEAKER_01: I don't think that was the wrong thing to do.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_01: I think that, yeah, and maybe I'm just maybe I'm just in a position where I'm not gonna be able to like maybe she did exactly the right thing.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't know what to say, right?
• 14:47
  SPEAKER_01: Other than that, like the actual thing that I think she was worried about was that she was waiting on a group of people that would physically harm a woman.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm confident that none of the three of us would have done that.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: Yep.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Um yeah, note that we finished we finished the meal, and it was uh, I mean, hopefully it was a learning lesson for my friend not to say dumb stuff impulsively and to find his words.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_01: But yeah, it was uh how was the um tip?
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it was good.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sure I've always, you know, not you.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you were the least worsome at this in this story.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember, I would have not allowed that.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: I would I've always been sensitive to tipping because even before I was in the restaurant industry, my brother was.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: And so as a family, we we talked about these things and it was very important.
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_01: So I would not have done that.
• 15:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't think any of us was like, what the fuck was her problem?
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: I think it was like, oh man, yeah, that was the worst part of this conversation.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, so no, there was no there was no punishment, no retaliation.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_01: I just think it was like you can't, there are things you can't walk back from.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no way, and that was a thing you can't walk back from with that person because she was already deep in it.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 15:53
  SPEAKER_00: So how much spit do you think was in your friend's meal?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_01: So I haven't the foggiest.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: So much spit.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: I haven't the foggiest fucking idea.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_01: I never like people get so worried about spit.
• 16:04
  SPEAKER_01: I never, I've never spit in anybody's food, but I I also like, I don't know, man, we swap spit with each other all the time.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: We share drinks, we make out with people.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like, obviously it's gross, but but part of the reason I never that I never sat in anybody's stuff when they were being shitty to me was that I didn't feel like it would really punish them.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_01: I always wanted the punishment they would feel rather than something that just they wouldn't know unless you told them the day after.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: And even then, who cares?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um if you're if if you're wanting to hear, dear sir, if you want to hear more about Nick never spitting in someone's food, um I did a podcast a couple years ago called the Someone Everyone Podcast.
• 16:39
  SPEAKER_00: And there is an episode.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: Nick and I did a couple, did an episode together that I put into two, and one of them is called Nick Would Never Spit in Your Food.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: So if it's on, it's still on Apple Podcasts.
• 16:50
  SPEAKER_00: Go look for the Someone Everyone podcast.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nick, once again, talking to me years later about never spitting in someone's food.
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this tells me that Nick is telling the truth because this story is being told years apart.
• 17:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And there's multiple episodes of uh, not just with me, of Someone Everywhere in podcast, and they're a romp.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_01: So I would recommend to anyone who who loves fun conversation and doesn't care about people playing fast and loose with correct pronunciation to check it out.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_00: Romp?
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_01: A romp, it's fun.
• 17:18
  SPEAKER_01: It's a oh wait, oh my the podcast is fun.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, your podcast.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, it was like I didn't know what you were talking about.
• 17:26
  SPEAKER_01: Did they not have that word in Canada?
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: What?
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_01: Romp.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, oh yeah.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: Okay.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: It just it really it really derailed you.
• 17:33
  SPEAKER_01: I know, it really it really talked about.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_01: It really did.
• 17:36
  SPEAKER_00: It really did.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: It was it was watching Evelyn's eyes roll back like a slot machine in that moment.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_00: I have, for those of you who don't know what I look like, I do have an expressive face.
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_00: I know I do.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_00: Uh a good longtime friend of mine once told me that you could be a lifetime member of the CNIB, which is the Canadian National Institute for the Blind.
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_00: You could be a lifetime member of the CNIB and still be able to read my face.
• 18:03
  SPEAKER_00: What?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I have a very I have a readable face.
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_00: I can't hide that person dunked on you and the blind.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_00: I know, double dunk.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Where was the server when when he was dunking on the blind?
• 18:16
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, right?
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: It'd be amazing if she showed up and she was like, I'm sorry, hold on.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm sorry, were you dunking on the CNIB?
• 18:23
  SPEAKER_01: Exactly, right?
• 18:25
  unknown: Right.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, and he wasn't.
• 18:28
  SPEAKER_00: I think he was just more saying, like, you could be the blindest person of all the blind people out there, and still sorry, visually impaired, and still understand exactly what Evelyn means without any words.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_01: So the takeaways from today's podcast are number one, watch your fucking mouth.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_01: And number two, um don't try to corner people and evangelize to them.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: People will come to you if they want, if they want to experience your particular form of religion.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um Yeah, I wouldn't, you know, I'm gonna I I don't think those are the two strongest takeaways.
• 19:00
  SPEAKER_00: If I what's your what are your takeaways?
• 19:02
  SPEAKER_00: I think we're close enough that I can be like, no, those aren't it.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_00: Hit me.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: What are your takeaways?
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_00: Takeaway number one, if you don't want to go to a dinner, someone's place for dinner, don't.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: There.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_00: Yep.
• 19:11
  SPEAKER_00: Don't just don't intended testify.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_00: Preach.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_00: Also, having chili in the company of other people will in fact tell you the level of their sense of humor, the caliber of their sense of humor.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're not really sure how funny you can be with someone, break bread and a bowl of chili with them.
• 19:30
  SPEAKER_01: I want to start a new tradition where when because I don't, I mean, I I can laugh at a fart as much as anybody, but fart jokes in general are not very funny to me.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think I would want to pivot that and say, you know, chili doesn't make me fart, but it does make me impotent.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_00: Nick, uh, it's time to end this episode.
• 19:45
  SPEAKER_00: You have a life to live, and I have to oh, I don't know.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Eat some chili and blast some ass.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna do neither of those things tonight, if I can be really honest with you.
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: Um I'm not gonna not gonna do it.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: But you know what?
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_00: Let me just you can't be trusted with words anymore.
• 20:03
  SPEAKER_00: On behalf of Nick and I, I'd like to thank you for listening to this podcast.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_00: We love and appreciate you.
• 20:08
  SPEAKER_00: Those of you who have been with us from the very beginning, we wonder why, but also we're very, very grateful.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And um I think that's all we have to say.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not Nick, you just say goodbye.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: Don't don't add anything else to this.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Just goodbye, don't add anything else to this.
• 20:24
  SPEAKER_00: Take notes, nope, that's it.
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Take notes, nope.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_00: Don't take too much.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: Bye.
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_00: Some neighbors are besties.
• 20:33
  SPEAKER_01: Others quarrel bitterly.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: Stuck together through geography.
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_01: One of us has nukes, and the other has tokes.
• 20:43
  SPEAKER_00: It's American Canadian diplomacy.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: It's revolution.